Let's Get Deep FIRST EPISODE!!! | Things We Never Talked About | Lexi’s Perspective On Dating

Embarrassing moments when we were dating, we don't necessarily agree with how people date today, should we have ended our engagement, what you should think about before getting married
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[@LetMeMuse]

My only kick back with the “timing in dating” thing is people who have been together since they were young , don’t always understand that being single in your 20’s is not the same as being single in your 30’s and beyond. Your mindset and approach to dating has way more intentions. You know who you are, your understanding of life is different, your needs, what are are willing to give. Etc. Dating for 4 or 5 years is unnecessary because you intentions are completely different. It’s a different life than growing with someone since you were a teenager.

[@shondalesstudio]

Okay!

[@spicesmiles]

Well said. 💯 Bless you and your allowing message 💞

[@lcalixte10]

Exactly...people who are younger need that time...but when you know who you are...and your motives are pure...all that time may not be necessary. But you have to know who you are...and that's a process of sanctification...

[@teddynkwabi4502]

Agreed. Emphasis on "knowing who you are" 👌

[@Sandy.TX5050]

I was married in 6 months of meeting my husband……I knew the minute I met him he was the one. 41 years later I love him more then ever. Good Podcast.

[@candacedawn357]

Awee...how sweet! 🍦

[@dorothymatthews6690]

I'm so happy for you! Divorced twice. Pray the same for me to have the similar type of married.

[@Sandy.TX5050]

@@dorothymatthews6690 Yes…….Dorothy, I have already prayed for you that GOD will send you a man OF HIS Choosing not your🙏🏼. My Grandmother told me to get out of my own way and Trust in GOD to send me someone……but I kept interfering with the process. She told me if you (me) will pray sincerely to GOD asking for what you want…..THEN she told me to go about my business and don’t think about it because I had turned it over to GOD. This is when trust comes in. I did that sincerely from my heart ♥️. I allowed GOD to Choose a Husband for me it was not me. I kid you not in 2 weeks I meet my husband. GOD knew I had trusted, had faith and believed in HIM 100%. Dorothy, The Key is you Cannot Doubt……NOT one time what GOD can and will do. GOD will know if you are sincere or not. If you ever need to talk you can call me 214-642-2295. All GODS blessings in JESUS CHRIST NAME🙏🏼♥️

[@tonyacanada]

Love it!! I think marriage takes works no matter how long y'all dated before getting marriage. Everyone's time on dating is different. There are so many that dating for years and still had challenges or divorced. It's all in God's timing. You know when you know. I personally don't think it's good to date for years. Depending on the age, I think 1-2 yrs should be the max. But me and my husband dated less than a year. I love him so much.

[@kuldoxy5637]

I love to see comments like this.

[@evettemccree4779]

We knew each other for 72 days. Married Now 24.5 years!!

[@sweetulip2004]

My husband and I married after courting for 5 weeks. God joined us and when you know it's God, time doesn't really matter. Pray and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.

[@TheColeLife]

Love that!

[@lindagail4355]

When I got married, everyone kept saying if it goes past 7 years, so for the first 7 years , I hyphenated my name and, after the 7 years, was up. I dropped my maiden name and he was so happy. And so we lasted 28 years until he passed away. I love you guys, podcast.❤❤ keep up the good work. Ms, Linda.

[@lynetteprice360]

I agree with Brian the hard times have to surface to see what a person is made of

[@tonyaharris6593]

I agree. We all have to give it time and don't be so quick to walk away

[@KEOSHAANEILIA]

I agree with you, Brian. I want to see you with pressure applied. How your partner responds to hardship, stress, and difficulties WILL affect you & the relationship overall.

[@TheColeLife]

100%! It’s not about dating for a long time but truly knowing someone.

[@StarlessTerrace]

I don't think the length of time is as important as being intentional with the time while dating. I think that as long as you ask the hard questions and have real conversations about what your potential partner believes, you should be good. You absolutely need to get to know each other for real. I also think that the commitment is important. It is important to marry someone who is willing to grow and put in the work necessary. If both parties are willing to do that, the marriage will stand the test of time.

[@brownetime08]

No matter how much you know, nothing can replace experience. 💯 And that builds over time. But I caution putting the emphasis on the timeline. Instead, focus on process. Because when you're deep in it, the process will affirm the value of being intentional with the time you have together. And going deep never fails to show us the importance of patience and character development. 🙌🏽

[@TheColeLife]

Definitely agree! It’s not about how much time. It’s how in depth do you know this person and mature enough to be ready for the next step

[@maameafuaannan9419]

Unorthodox timelines are relative to everyone, I think dating past two years and not settling down is unorthodox, if you happen to meet someone in a time where you both learnt alot in your season of singleness, you dont need to wait to get married just because the world says you should when both of you feel ready to do so knowing that marriage is an institution and a journey of learning to becoming one with your partner

[@Arlene_DOTK]

Brian, I agree 👍 I think a better word is life struggles, it could be a job loss, death, family drama, etc. Also seeing how a person behaves in various situations: being cut off while driving, bad service at a restaurant, gossiping, etc. It's important to see your partner in non ideal situations, it lets you understand them better and allows you to view and feel from a relationship perspective.

[@TheBestLifeTV]

I think Alexis and I had the same "type" of Father. I've been married for 25 years and my husband called my Dad "Sir" until the day he died. Both were military men, so respect was must.

[@candacedawn357]

1.) I loved your sit down videos from the beginning & I'm glad they're back! 2.) I want to see my partner when we argue and/or he's not having a good day. 3.) If I'm abstaining, I can't be dating for FOUR YEARS!!!! 🤣😂

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

Your dad is like my dad, "Yes/No Sir" and I'm the same way when I meet elders. It shows respect.

[@beatrixjansen6297]

You guys did it the right way. If couples would take their time to really get to know each other in the good ,happy moments ,but also in the bad weird moments and talk honestly about the situation there wouldn't be as many divorces. I believe,that the two of you are very special and were meant to be together to inspire other couples. Both of you have God given wisdom and were chosen to be together so you can help others to have more solid marriages. May God keep blessing you both with love and wisdom.🙏❤🙏

[@hellothere22766]

I Luv how you guys are so mature & intelligent, not many couples think like you do, Spiritually driven for sure 🙏🏽

[@destinyidentitywithdrannac6114]

This conversation was SO REFRESHING and Valuable. I am not married but there are members of my family who would love to know how to befriend your spouse and what it takes, prior to marriage to keep the faith. LOVED IT!

[@NapFroCentrics]

I rarely comment, but wow, this was phenomenal. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable!

[@tonimallard896]

Thank You for doing this on You Tube where we can see your faces and feel like we are there having a conversation in your home. Love your family.

[@dsteph2789]

I think it was amazing for you two to honestly share your personal struggles while dating, from what was modeled in your home, impacts of friendships, becoming friends and struggling with celibacy and triumphing.

[@lashondavanhook3029]

I love y’all !! You blessed me because you are so real and you’re willing to share intimate details of your life to help others. I pray that God richly blesses you, your family and the people you will touch!! Love 💕

[@Shallewa]

AMAZING!!!! I think that you guys took as much time as needed for you both. I think that time should depend on the 2 people coming together💜💜💜💜💜

[@roseom2878]

This was awesome guys! Can't wait for another episode😄😄 And thanks for not holding back and being transparent ❤🙏🏾✨✨

[@denisamanhica]

I loved your talk. Being in the same situation as Alexi’s parents, although not by choice, I would say two things. You did right by wanting to explore/discover/delve into as much as possible with counselling before marriage. And that I can understand you wanting to not be, later on, in the same place as your parents. Keep that 1st episode perhaps for later on in your podcast. Your talks are very much thought provoking 😉

[@TheColeLife]

We will definitely air that deeep episode later on!

[@Emelineauguste167]

One of the reason why I think dating is a waste of time is because it’s not only romanticized, but I’ve met a lot of people who have dated for years and have yet fought about the reality of life and then comes to the wedding, and they realize that this is not the person that they Thought they were with for the last couple of years. And he is right. People are so worried about wealth being able to provide that they kind of overlook about whether or not they’re going to have a partner that’s going to take them to such wealth and take them to a place where they can provide take them to a place where they can be heard, and Feel as though there are not going through life alone . One of the things that I hate is when guys say they are waiting to be financially stable… I mean, if money was what kept relationship stable the Kardashian would be a much more powerful family than they believe themselves to be

[@TayCherise]

I ABSOLUTELY agree with, I need to see you in all seasons of your emotions !!! How are you mad, how to you handle stress, etc. it’s so important.

[@FeelinMe11]

This was sooo good, I am sooo excited for this series!!!

[@dianagittens5899]

Amazingly good. I had no doubt that it would be great. I can’t wait for the next episode ❤❤

[@Taniapgage]

Loved every minute of this ❤ can’t wait for the next episode

[@user-wd5gr7px6z]

Thanks for being so deep, mature, knowledgeable, transparent, educational, funny, outspoken, and realistic. Good Luck.

[@ladygg6]

Great job.....and can't wait to hear more. Bravo!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@deborahduster9357]

Wow! Good stuff!! Great discussion. I sent this video to my unmarried young adult children. I’ve been married for over 30 years and shared some very valid similar personal stories with our children and to hear your situation let me just say you’re both very mature and way ahead of even my age group on how to REALLY have a successful relationship/ marriage that is truly fulfilling across the board the way God intended. True honesty, happiness, commitment bc you love each other not bc of the children or being in people bondage staying bc you are with your person. Just beautiful ❤

[@lynetteprice360]

Y’all had me at HELLO! Outstanding

[@ElizaBeth-ve6nz]

Listen, having listened to both of you. I would definitely agree that the hard work is needed ahead of the wedding so that one's marriage can have a fighting chance.

[@ShineYourLightAlways]

Absolutely love this!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥 Learned so much!!! I also love deep faith filled purposeful conversations, so I’m super excited about this podcast 🤗🤗🙏🏽🫶🏽 May the Lord continue to order yalls steps!! 💗💗

[@krysformayor8217]

*THIS WAS WONDERFUL* ❤️

[@creolation]

I missed these conversations. Thank you for sharing.

[@dianehawkins7367]

I agree wholeheartedly with Brian. It's important to see how your person responds to very difficult challenges of life. All too often people present a facade and you don't see the real person until after they're married and then they let you see the real person which can be a shock to the other person.

[@elstoddart270]

Excellent session. Thanks for for being so open with your experiences and growth. You are on point. Refreshing to see this in a young couple. Your commitment and love for one another, your family, spiritual commitment, and your intentional actions to improve your relationship is clearly visible. God bless you on your journey.

[@venitajackson1274]

Excellent! Just beautiful and transparent. I looked forward to the next one. God bless💗

[@michellepegues4011]

I LOVED it! The Cole's are 🔥

[@Uuo241]

Glad you guys are back 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@TheGreta2400]

Y'all this was sooo good. Looking forward to more. I agree that it not always about how long you date before marriage but being intentional with the time & having important conversations. I personally know people who dated 7- 8 years than married just 1 or 2 years. Then people date 9 mths to a year but have been married 18 yrs. You have to be intentional & put in the pre-work to be sure you know who you're marrying flaws-n-all and you share the same goals & commitment for your marriage not just your life. Just my thoughts.

[@respectthejourney8323]

Y'all are the bomb I don't even need to watch this is beautiful ❤❤❤❤

[@auralitedivine]

Absolutely amazing conversation!!! Thank you two very much!!! You all are sooooo very cuuuuute together and such an inspiration!!! I totally think doing the deep hard work before marriage is mandatory if you're striving toward a lasting marital union☮💟💕🥰 I think y'all did great!!!

[@velmabrookes8567]

Congratulations guys! ❤❤

[@DebbieRay64]

I really enjoyed this. Looking forward to the next episode.

[@lkadams1]

So excited the sit downs are back

[@HealthyHairJourney]

There are no hard rules. I met my hubby and we got married exactly one year later. Been married 18 years and we are sooooooo happy.

[@tammyspeakliferadioministr2332]

I love your transparency! This podcast will help a lot of couples. Keep going. Thank God-you put in the work. ❤❤

[@TheColeLife]

Thanks for listening! 🙏🏾 I believe it too 🥹

[@ElizaBeth-ve6nz]

Thank you for your transparency. I pray that it would add to the love you have for each other.

[@antonaecoleman470]

This was actually really informative, thank you! Very comforting 💐💐💐

[@Emelineauguste167]

Brian, to answer your question about whether or not people are having these conversation I think one thing that I’ve learned not even with other people but with my parents is that you can’t have a serious conversation about something that you do not know anything about nor have been exposed to. For example, the love that my mom saw growing up was very manipulative. Therefore, when we are having those hard conversations about love, respect, intimacy, husband, wife, her explanations and definitions, always refers back to what she has seen and what she has experienced. Hard conversations are easy to have however, expectations are very hard to understand. And in our society today, it’s very hard to find someone who has the same expectations as you because everybody has a definition for respect, for love for what a relationship should look like for what role a husband should be. Lexi has it right on… they don’t know the questions to ask. And from what I’ve witnessed in my own community, a lot of people who comes from stable families often have a hard time answering those questions because most of the time they want to emulate the kind of relationship, they saw their parents having growing up, not realizing the kind of hardship that they put in in order to maintain that relationship. So when you ask them about those questions, I find that most often they will just give you the positive that they seen and not the negative hardship behind-the-scenes. And then sometimes as an Overthinker and coming from families that weren’t that stable you often find yourself crossing expectations off of your list because you realize that if you don’t change yourself or put on that sale sign you end up alone. And loneliness is a very scary feeling, especially after the pandemic.

[@valeriehall2145]

I agree with Brian. How you handle disappointment is very important

[@dianehawkins7367]

This has been a very good discussion! Excellent ❤❤❤

[@josettebyrd7459]

Totally agree 100 %. I was saying the same thing Brian right when you did? Seeing that person at their low in order to know if they can handle it Thank you both for being yourselves. Love your Pod cast cant wait till the next one . The RAW as they say. She saw something that you two didn't see as it went on.

[@tonyaharris6593]

This is my first time watching ya'll. You guys are amazing. Thank you for sharing the growth. Congratulations on real love❤️

[@kaytrice7784]

I so enjoyed this podcast! You did great! Gave me some even me some tidbits as a 50+ divorced lady! Thank you!! Love y’all!!❤❤

[@skating43]

This was such an interesting section. Totally agree that you have to get to know the other side of your partner before stepping into the twilight zone. Your friend who said, "I love you too much to divorce you, did something that some people want to but won't act on it because of fear of hurting the other person.

[@ebc6468]

Beautiful job you guys...pray your Podcast Channel grow exponentially...God bless this family❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉💞💞

[@SHEBREEZY914]

This was soooooo good 👏🏽👏🏽

[@denisedaniel9381]

God bless you both. Watching this is so refreshing.

[@teddynkwabi4502]

Whoo! That was fun, I enjoyed listening to you guys, as always😊 I agree with you 95%. When it comes to dating, I think it's more about the quality of time rather than the quantity of time spent together. Because you can date for 5 years and still not even get to 10 years in marriage and vice versa (I've seen it happen). I also agree that you need to see your partner in different seasons to gauge how he/she will react; but how long will that be? As you said Brian, what if some people are just happy or just tough? That it would take a major life altering event to really see who or what they become (which may not occur in a few months btw). Plus someone can also fake it for a few months🤷. Hence, for me it's quality (being intentional with the time spent together) over quantity of time spent together. That being said, a year or two in Courtship would suffice for me. Plus I also think people don't really have these "difficult conversations" while dating, especially kids these days (teens and the ones in their early twenties) they don't even know the right questions to ask. They're rather focused on silly things like going out on dates, sex, having 'fun' and whatever it is that kids these days do, LOL! In other news, in my culture elders especially parents are treated with the utmost respect. So ofcourse you'd never say "Hi, Hey What's up, Nah you good" or any of that stuff.😅 That's why it's important to learn about different cultures.

[@angelstephens4060]

The camera quality is sooo good😍

[@christinaw.4626]

As a 48 yr old divorcee I found this conversation to be very frank and enjoyable. Connection and lifestyle/vision compatibility is huge; which from this episode appears y'all have. Many continued blessings on your marriage and family 🙏🏾❤

[@queenbee0458]

I met my husband in August of 03 and we married in January 31 2004 and we were married for 18 years until his death in Aug 2021 !!!!!! And he was 14 years older than me and my husband was one of the BEST man in the world!!!! I know that God was in me meeting him and marrying him…. God knew that I needed this man in my life and I will forever be Grateful to Him for that… so I believe that time put in does not matter if it is from the Lord…… this is not to say that we didn’t have problems but God was in it ALL!!!!!! We became friends in our marriage…and my husband was EVERYTHING if you knew him you were Blessed!!! Marriage is what you make of it we some times work harder on our jobs than in our marriage. I LOVED being married be😢I LOVE LOVE….. BE BLESSED!!!!!!

[@smartinez447]

I really enjoyed your podcast, this was very insightful and you guys have a great flow and practicality. Excited for the next pod! 👍

[@TheColeLife]

Thank you!

[@cw03801]

I love you two not only as a couple, but as individuals 😊. Thanks.

[@karen5912]

This was great. The time went by easily informative.

[@paigequeenb8257]

Ten years strong married. We met and he told me date one he would marry me lol I called him a weirdo. A year later, he proposed in with family and friends. Was it easy? Nope! We definitely have learned and grown together and we were told not to do it but we truly knew. We did experience alot together really early illness, financial stressor, death of parents, going through college, buying our first home in our first year. We say after those first couple years of crazy and we made it through stronger, we can do anything together. I believe everyone is different but I agree it can be easier or even more difficult.

[@shirleyhardnett6067]

Beautiful lovely couple. I love watching your video.congratulations to the both of you

[@TheBadgerFamily]

Loved this first episode!! You guys have a talent for these deep conversations! It seems crazy now, but my husband and I dated for 8 YEARS before he proposed lol!! Loved hearing more about your story

[@adefunkeemeagwali573]

Yes I totally agree with Brian on knowing the person you intends to marry at their worst moment It is very important to see the real person

[@MrsShanaMarie]

I think there has to be a balance with the timing of getting married. Someone can wait too long and someone can wait to little. There are still certain situations that you will not encounter until you’re married (basing this on couples who wait to have babies until marriage, wait to live together etc..): having a baby and sharing/handeling bills together, habits that someone might not see on a daily basis unless you live together, how you run your household. Yes you can discuss the concepts but there are things that you really do not find out until you are married. I think what’s important is doing the individual work so that there is a maturity that someone brings when getting married. ❤

[@deborahblackshear3325]

❤😅.I like what Brian said about maturity. This is good.

[@wandawallace2019]

This is truly amazing! I really missed your conversations. That’s when I became a subscriber . I think your bedroom was located in the basement. This was phenomenal and I can’t wait till the next episode/podcast. I simply love intellectual spiritual conversations that’s rich with wisdom.

[@TheColeLife]

Yes! We’re SO excited to bring those conversations back in this format!

[@robertreeves5666]

Awesome podcast!!!! My favorite couple ❤

[@lotuspetal5143]

Loved this first episode, I'm definitely a fan lol...I liked, commented and subscribed ❤

[@beverlydurham53]

I love this, you both are so sweet, God bless your union.

[@AnitaBush-zy9cb]

Great podcast. I agree with waiting to get to know one another before getting married. My husband and I dated for 5 yrs. We've been married 20 years now and going strong.

[@persephonehall9995]

I like hearing your perspective with your daughter and what you will expect her to look for in a potential mate. I haven’t finished watching, but I hope you will also talk about how you will teach your son to treat people he’s interested in dating, as well.

[@TheColeLife]

Thank you! And we didn’t mention how I would teach my son but yes absolutely!! I’ll be taking him through rigorous training on how to treat women 😂

[@sharonroach7694]

All of this is real talk. A Powerful and truthful conversation.

[@DAVIDANDEBORAH]

this is beautiful! Amazing story. We love all the Kingdom Couples God is raising up!!!

[@angeladz]

You guys definitely touched on some good stuff. Also, I think that if you are considering marrying someone, you have to see them in a tough place or going through something to get an idea of what you're walking into and what you can handle or are called to, meaning God has already graced you to handle it with that person. I believe that if God has called two people to be together, He will give each of you what you need to handle what He brings or allows to come your way. I also think that you have to go into marriage knowing that there will be work to put in, no matter what. I'm not married yet but I got the same mindset as Lexi where I'm not trying to mess that up or walk into it lightly, but also trying not to overthink it because I walk with God and He's got me if I listen to him. The amount of work you guys put into it just shows how much you cared. I don't think it was overdone and it looks like it's paying off! Today, it looks like there might not be enough work or intention being put in because some believe that you can get out of it with divorce. You gotta put into it what you want. But I also don't think some people intended to reach for divorce at all til it came to it.

[@Jt2REAL1]

Not gonna lie your Dad did something really awesome for Brian in that season.

[@Jt2REAL1]

20:55 being 29 and single also not having had a real relationship let me tell you Brian , there’s 👏🏾so👏🏾 much 👏🏾I 👏🏾don’t 👏🏾know 👏🏾

[@Jt2REAL1]

39:33 Y’all did this how I believe is ideal insert that “it must be nice” audio lol! 😂

[@alvidean22]

This is my first time tuning into this KZbin channel. A very mature and open conversation is going on. It feels honest, and surprisingly it kept my attention. Please continue to keep it real.

[@TheColeLife]

Thank you so much! That is absolutely what we are aiming to do.

[@veehaddow5823]

❤ you guys, that you for having these tough conversations. Im glad God is leading you to have these conversations.

[@decoratingwithjazigreen]

I enjoyed this podcast. I thought it was very interesting and I love the topic and a chance to get to know you too a little bit better you guys did a very excellent job explaining and talking about the issues that you guys went through in your earlier years.. I look forward to the next podcast so keep sharing. Have a blessed day.❤

[@jasminerouse2954]

Awesome Job guys!!! Very great

[@evelynprice3976]

My Lord, WHY is it that there was no one 😫 around to guide me in my life about love and marriage and the deep thoughts that you young people have I have been married 5 times, 3 children with only my first husband only one living now, I'm 73years old and watching you young people wisdom, maybe I should have just been a nun,but I am thankful to God that I have 1 daughter, 1 granddaughter, 1 grandson, and 1 great granddaughter, so God did bless me with love from my marriages, I am sharing this to all the young people I know, love you guys from day one, and there is truly a reason for all things, Kiss Aza,and Elijah for me. 😊😊❤❤

[@gaynorkelly9413]

Amen and amen sister!

[@kuldoxy5637]

Oh mine! This was so educational.👏🏿 Have u guys ever thought about being a marriage counselor or writing a book about how to have a successful marriage cos u guys may not be perfect, but you are SO REAL about the reality of marriage. I love ur awareness on these things and how u practice them. God bless u guys and may He continue to bless ur marriage and family in Jesus name, amen.🙏🏿

[@DiamondArie-ug8ty]

Brian - You're not alone in your way of thinking. My husband & I were best friends before we even considered dating and even as best friends we both agreed that we needed to see someone at their worst before making a commitment.

[@esprit217]

First of all, I'm SOOOOOO glad y'all are going back to the conversational content. However, the TIMES were very different when those 52 yrs. married folk were dating. Back then, being married was the goal from adolescence. There was no self-discovery, self-awareness etc. Women didn't do careers the same way (if they had careers at all). Nowadays, people have so many more personal goals & aspirations etc. There are way more women today that choose not to be married or have children, when that would've been almost unheard of. NOTE: Lots of "faith-based" folks want to go back to those times (whether women want to or not) in 2024 America. THOUGHTS on that??

[@vanessabaker6747]

Good Afternoon 🌄 The Cole's Family and Chat Love ❤ you guys as always!!!!!

[@chantalskippers6565]

I absolutely loved this content as you guys are so real.. God is using your marriage to show that it's still real and God plan for humanity.

[@thoughtswithchi2225]

My husband and I dated in 2022 and we got married in 2023. We are still babies in our marriage. We have gone through some rough times during our engagement that helped us with where we are. Honestly we are still learning about marriage.

[@rosalynjohnson2295]

I agree with Brian. It is important to see all sides of your partner.

[@alene6579]

This was good. Thank you for sharing.

[@aidagonzalezortiz-wj8fc]

Great podcast, Thank you

[@itssimplyteekay]

I really enjoyed this podcast, the transparency, growth and from a Godly perspective. Can't wait for more episodes!

[@TheColeLife]

More to come!