Let’s Get REAL about Situationships

What’s the difference between a full-on relationship and situationship? That’s the topic at the table in this Girl Chat.

[@bnatrl88]

Jeannie: "You're technically single until you're married". Adrienne: "That's what my taxes say". LOL!!

[@yvetteboafo5838]

+bnatrl88 I AGREE!!

[@MsTokyoDiamond]

😂😂😂

[@myhextixmind8632]

LOLOLOLOLOL

[@msjdavisxo]

I was dying when she said that! Lmaooo 😂

[@knight7se7en]

+bnatrl88: Technically and practically are two different things. I've never subscribed to the idea that if you are not married you're single. Practically, you can be single, dating, in a relationship, engaged or married. Just my personal opinion.

[@rexsmithehiggins]

Tamera you're not old school, you just got *common sense*. This whole concept of a "situationship" is childish and unnecessary, it's basically just a fancy name for friends with benefits. A conversation which has already been had.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

exactly

[@DiahnetSantos]

Yasssssssss.

[@beautifulsoul7276]

Indeed. People who engage in such things usually become attached or eventually settle for just that. Not worth it honey

[@sx3todd]

+rex smithehiggins the problem with common sense is... it's too common.

[@triplellove9884]

Yes, finally people who agree with me.

[@kenyarenee373]

i feel Tamera, i dont date to pass the time. I date because I see a potential husband in them

[@shygirlTJ186]

👍

[@Iamkeramone]

Situationships usually include 2 people who aren't exactly seeing eye to eye about what it is they want. 10 times out of 10.. the guy or girl is leading the other person on until they find someone they actually want to be with. That's why there isn't any commitment.

[@MsClarissa2012]

nicely said!

[@millie818]

Exactly!

[@alreem9891]

+Kera Monet Now that I think about it... you're right

[@Dior3llaxoxo]

+Kera Monet Yep that's exactly what it is!

[@afrolofi]

+Kera Monet Right! You should've spoke for them. Lol!!

[@DwellinHope]

It has nothing at all to do with age. I'm 23 and I don't date just for the sake of dating. I date with purpose. With the intent of having something long term. It doesn't mean everyone I date is "THE ONE", because things happen down the road. Thats why i believe in letting the other person know right away what you're looking for. Both parties have to be on the same page. Too old to be playing the game of "what are we?" or "where is this going?" nope!

[@latishamurray8121]

DreaB. I completely get it

[@unnderneath]

I agree wholeheartedly

[@troutswim8262]

THANK YOU. It’s all about the maturity not the age

[@impeccablejackson9937]

DreaB. 👏preach

[@miguelpacheco2555]

Yesssss

[@CoCoGemel]

I'm 23 years young and I aint got the time to be investing time, energy and feelings and emotions in a man who I can't see a future with. It has nothing to do with age.

[@Xk8rsx]

Amen to that, I'm 24 and I am not about to waste any time either. I don't care what age you are, whatever you are looking for I hope you find it. Husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend whatever. Good luck xo

[@CoCoGemel]

+Xk8rsx Thanks girl! Same to you!

[@BeautyUnraveled]

Girl Yes!! Before you know it, you look up and your 30 going in circles.

[@93RZ]

+madeyoulook Right there with you!

[@PaolaJulissa]

Me too! I don't want to date just to date...I'm looking for someone to spend my life with, not just to be with someone for the sake of not being alone. I'm 23 too btw :)

[@adl1585]

You're sitting here reading the comments, and your life if passing you by. You keep procrastinating over and over again, maybe I'll go next semester. No, do it right now! Call EVEREST! Why are you making it complicated? It's easy!

[@321330078]

+adl15 no its not, lol

[@MuusiicRafael]

omg it's 12 am and I haven't studied yet 😥😥😭

[@unique9007]

Bruh! 😂😭😂😭😂😭😂... I'm dead 💀💀💀

[@joejill51lala]

+adl15 LMAO

[@katdeluxy9608]

+adl15 lol good one!

[@rinasweetness]

There is nothing "old school" about wanting something solid and not waste any time with a situationship. I'm 21 and I'd rather date and grow slowly with someone instead of deal with someone who I would never introduce my family to, lol.

[@orubek355]

God bless you!

[@lexie02jones25]

Me

[@Xk8rsx]

I am no ones benefit and I am no ones booty call. You either can have all of me-soul, body and mind or you get none of me. I am not giving away my body like it means nothing, I'm worth much more than that and so are all of you.

[@Sach6693]

Say it again girl, I don't think the ones in the back heard you!

[@DevBee]

Yes girl! 👏🏾👏🏾

[@BeautyUnraveled]

Amen!!

[@MsTokyoDiamond]

exactly

[@Dymsx86]

+Xk8rsx You are preaching! Yes!

[@AlfredaIyiegbuenter]

I'm like Tamera in so many ways. We share the same moral values 😊

[@Jan-bc3ed]

+Alfreda FC Barcelona same. if he ain't husband material then I have no interest in spending time with him.

[@RosefrmVenus]

I have the perfect name for it: BULL-ship!

[@56missmusic]

😂😂😂

[@charaardrey5846]

RosefrmVenus perfect

[@kesandrawilliamson2464]

Lmao

[@keonwilliamson1210]

Yess

[@mieshaburley2433]

Yessssss 😂😂😂

[@gigglyfitzgirl]

So basically it's, "I want to have sex but not deal with the responsibilties that come with a relationship." In other words, immaturity and stupidity.

[@dreamerof93]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@madamshay749]

Right, and at the same time not realizing that sleeping around is a responsibility as well so the whole concept is just stupid.

[@cassandratype4]

+gigglyfitzgirl From what I understand there is no sex.

[@madamshay749]

+Cassandra Muzik so then their friends pretty much

[@philj.6887]

that's not immature or stupid. it depends on the person. some people are too busy to commit and are upfront and honest about it and it works. well for me it does lol

[@sugarspiceunlimited]

i'm watching 5 different conversations- i think they all have a different idea of a situationship??

[@BeautyUnraveled]

I think what Tamara is saying is that she would not date someone she could not see marrying, you of course might not marry the person you are dating, but they should have the traits of the husband you would want. If you waste your time on somebody who you would NEVER want to reproduce with and marry in the long run, you are wasting your time.

[@HannahN473]

Yes exactly! I think some people are missing the point about what Tamera was saying, I'd rather date someone with the traits of husband

[@thepinkprint5936]

+Beauty Unraveled THANK YOU!!! I don't think tear understood at ALL!

[@witchf4ce310]

I don't want to reproduce or get married at all

[@joycevaughn9028]

Beauty Unraveled shes saying courtship as it used to be called

[@kevanschwitzer8585]

That's why many women get pg by someone more attractive but less likely to commit. Then figure out the details later. Usually that means bringing in another guy into the mix, who is less attractive but more likely to stick around. At that point, you have the best of both worlds.

[@rini426]

Isn't this just friends with benefits....like what is the debate...

[@jasimenmetcalf1870]

I love how everyone was confused 😂😂😂

[@christinaroseth5485]

but you hang out as if you're actually bf/gf without the actual title.

[@lizquin9985]

Nah it’s more cuz they act like you guys are in a relationship and want you to treat them that way but don’t want you

[@michellerichardson3090]

Friends with benefits is when you're friends with someone and able to have sex with them when you want. A situationship is more of a companion. You do things with them you.wouldnt do with your friend. For instance I would take my friend as a date to an event.

[@camileahnrox47]

why would you date anyone without intentions of having a future? wasting both parties' time, I'm with Tamera on this one.

[@michellerichardson3090]

It's not dating lol

[@TeddyDaPrincess]

I've been in a situationship and got my heart broken and time wasted . I was being dumb and didn't ask what are we , waiting on him to ask me to be his girlfriend. We weren't intimate for a very long time and was telling each other we loved each other but no title and he ended up being with someone else. Don't do it , stay away from situationships someone always gets hurt !

[@indigos0ul]

A situationship usually occurs when Person A thinks the relationship is going to advance to another level but Person B doesn't necessarily want the same thing or hasn't expressed a desire to make it "official"... So Person A "hangs around" hoping that Person B will change their mind. Lol, that's my equation for what a situationship is.

[@michellerichardson3090]

No lol not at all. Its literally 2 people who just to want to be in a relationship. The guy I'm in one with now and I both made guidelines for our arrangement. Alot of people dont understand it and ask us why we cant just be a couple. He has no interest in getting married or having a girlfriend but doesnt want to be alone. I have no interest in getting married or having a boyfriend. I also have kids so it's much easier to have someone who will come around when we're both available and doesnt feel like they're being ignored

[@deem132]

It's dating without commitment this ain't rocket science

[@michellerichardson3090]

Thank you. People want to be confused. They dont seem to understand how 2 people dont want to be in a relationship with anyone but still enjoy to do "couple" stuff.

[@shalalala868]

@@michellerichardson3090 I pray you one day understand your worth and that you're better than a situationship!

[@lipsohlips97]

I've always felt like Tamera and not many ppl understand that. I've never understood casual dating.. aka dating for the heck of it.. I would much rather be friends with a guys and to see if our relationship could be something special and worth my time to explore. Relationships are time consuming and require lots of effort..dating should be for the purpose of seeing if u have a future with the other person period.

[@LadeOla]

Tamara is right! who has the time, money and energy to waste on dead-end relationships.

[@ariessasmr]

Loni always trying to school somebody and she just confusing everybody and herself

[@king2001able]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@itsfriday9139]

+Janae Graham SO I WASNT GOING MAD

[@sweetvictory89]

Its the comedian in her

[@SparklingJuice247]

+Mia Walker roflll!!!

[@ariessasmr]

+Mia Walker haha nope

[@tanito349]

Team Tamera on this one. Dating with a purpose, if i don't see the potential of us becoming something more then i'm not about to waste my time for short term happiness.

[@SalvaPride1893]

Situationship doesn't exist. It's just friends with benefits, but with another word.

[@979akkipuden]

exactly it's the same thing

[@liseebaby]

Kinda true. But you don't typically go on dates etc with friends with benefits. its a little more expanded (romantic)

[@mermaidlilyrose]

SalvaPride I think "friends with benefits" is too intimate. They are "acquaintances with benefits". Most of the time, they don't really know each other very well, probably met on a dating site & one of the two was actually wanting a relationship but decided to settle for whatever reason. If they are both in total agreement to be lovers, there is no situation. You are lovers & you go about your life. It's a situation when one person is getting played & the played person is playing themselves too. I unfortunately speak from recent experience. But never again. I woke up & this will not happen again. I'm way too mature to have let this happen. If I want a lover, I'll be mature enough to say it...point blank. I have in the past. I want more in my life now, yet chose to let myself get played. I got out though. That's all that matters. I believe in integrity of word, & remembering that people have hearts that can be broken when treated poorly. Situationships usually create that very thing.

[@michellerichardson3090]

Nah friends with benefits is we have sex then get out of my house lol

[@97indianuk]

"It's like we're together but we're not" - perfect example. When you act like your together and do stuff that people in an intimate relationship do but your not in a committed relationship with labels of: partner, significant other, boyfriend or girlfriend.

[@wendymutema4451]

People who do this don't want to be alone but don't want the responsibility that comes with sharing a life with someone. In short, they are immature. A real man/ woman, makes up their mind and sees it through. It breaks my heart that people fall for this crap. Set a standard and stick to it.

[@Mafi19]

"You're technically single until you're married" TRUE!!! That's the whole point of the song "Single ladies" 😉

[@zulyreyes01]

Tamera is by far the wisest there ! Absolutely love her !!!

[@Cheezfuz92]

I totally get what a situationship is though. As a gay man, there have been a couple of occasions where I've been on more than 3 dates with a guy and everything seems to be going great. Then when I mention possibly being in a relationship in the near future, they freeze and never go out with me again. From my perspective, a lot of people just want the "feel" of a relationship without the commitment or label... and i'm not about that. It's pretty damn obnoxious tbh. It's similar to a friends with benefits, but a situationship looks like a real relationship.... but really isn't.

[@EllePlowPlow]

Some people say this "Situationship" or "friends with benefits" is childish. No, it's not. If your of a certain age (younger, college age) and want to experience life, your not ready to settle down, get married and have kids then something like this is fine. Now if your 30+ in a situationship that's a whole other story lol

[@jbrown8726]

Right

[@hakkgurl]

but at college age you can have a girlfriend/boyfriend without getting married and having kids. I mean if you want to get married in the future isn't better to get in a relationship to learn from it. like tamera said it's a waste of time. hooking up with someone is a different thing. situationship is very immature and a waste of time.

[@madamshay749]

Well that's what casual dating is for....

[@august21xp]

+hakkgurl right!!!! besides you can be mature at 20, and have a happy marriage it depends on your morals and your priorities. I didn't start dating till I was 22 cause college came first and having fun can be distracting .

[@AGEE_95]

+hakkgurl Tamera said it was a waste of HER time. Not a waste of time period. She doesn't force her experience as everyone else's experience. I know that for me personally, I don't understand the purpose of a situationship, and it would be a pointless thing for me to be involved in, but I guess people have there reasons for it. I don't understand it at all, and because I don't, I have no right to judge why someone else does it.

[@sandrag6103]

how about just calling it confusionship....this is ridiculous.

[@Jay-tb4ie]

LOL right!

[@orubek355]

😂

[@eshaa828]

I'm with Tamera I'm not here for dating just because.

[@MajesticMyronn]

i feel that Situationships are just stupid. Please do not put yourself in situations where you have to be questioned or else you won't have an ANSWER !

[@michellerichardson3090]

Questioned by who?

[@SharonBoo0305]

situationships sound like they're for people who are not emotionally mature enough to be in a serious relationship. it's like treating others like they are a portion of a human buffet. Being a single woman and dating these days sounds tedious and frustrating. I'm glad I'm married.

[@michellerichardson3090]

I'm in a situationship now and its honestly easier and less stressful than dating. I get the perks of having someone without have to deal with drama. I think one of the things that makes it work for me is the guy and I never had plans to ever get married to anyone and we like to do what we want to do when we want to.

[@josephinesun320]

@@michellerichardson3090 how do you avoid catching feelings for that person if you spend a lot of time with them and doing things together? Or what if the other one wants to be in a relationship with you now what? And are both people seeing other people as well? I’m curious

[@michellerichardson3090]

@@josephinesun320 i treat it like a friendship close friendship. I have no romantic feelings for him and dont even put the thought into my head that something may come from it. If I believe he had feelings for me I would end it. We did have an agreement that if we were interested in someone else we would end the arrangement. He didnt want to be having sex with me if I was starting ti date someone. I honestly didnt care either way. I told him I had no issue having sex with him until I started a sexual relationship with someone elae

[@josephinesun320]

@@michellerichardson3090 interesting...so its strictly just you two? cause i would assume the other person would be hooking up with other girls as well since theres no committment. how come in some cases or a lot of cases when someone catches feelings they still stay in it and go along with it hoping the other person will change their mind? and youre spending a lot of time with him too? do you think its different for men also? and can this sort of thing last for years like how long can it go on for? sorry for all these questions lol

[@michellerichardson3090]

@@josephinesun320 he asked for it to be monogamous and I agreed. Hes not actively looking for anyone but I think some of his traits is the reason he was single before we met and why I particularly dont want a relationship with him. Like hes fun to hang out with be he can be very demanding. Most of the time us hanging us is from him asking. He wants to do things and his friends get annoyed with him so Ive become to sacrificial lamb for them lol.

[@MsTremaineNeverson85]

The situationship is like the talking stage. you go out, you hang together, but at the end of the day yall can do whatever you want because technically you're still single. They should've had somebody in their 20's when they started the show because this is more so a young people thing in my opinion.

[@michellerichardson3090]

No, I'm in my 30s and I've been in one for the past 2 years. The guy and I dated for a year and we realized we both didnt do well in relationships. Now we do the things we did when dating but now we're not obligated to do things you would if you were in a relationship. For example, we don't have to call each other and let the other one know why they cant meet up. We dont have to tell each other stuff if we dont want to. Just be in the moment

[@kevinjohnson4877]

Situationship sounds like a couple who stays together because of a situation, like they have an apartment or house together or kids. That's what the name sounds like to me.

[@AGEE_95]

+Kevin Johnson Yeah that definition actually makes a lot more sense, than the thousand they came up with.

[@Dilenga23]

Kevin Johnson Google black girls are easy.com" are you in a situationship?" you're wrong with you're Definition unfortunately.

[@michellerichardson3090]

No, situationship is literally 2 people that are together and there is no label. People labeled it situationship because they have to put a label on everything damn thing.

[@annechovey1252]

I completely agree with Tamera on this and I'm 10 years younger than her #teamoldschool lol.

[@enjinks]

I think situationship is like when you're dating but you know it won't last long... so you're not going to present that person to your family/friends if you're gonna break up in less than a year! It might be because you'll have to move (and you don't believe in long distance relationship), or you know you'll get too busy later.

[@nxdiuh]

I agree with Tamera wholeheartedly and I'm not even old. Don't waste my time. I don't date just to date. If I'm dating you, going out with you, "kicking it" with you, it's because I see a FUTURE with you. I see potential in you. What's the point of dating someone if you know there's no longevity in it?

[@Krzrrazrrokr]

I'm 20 and I don't want to date without purpose either. I'm not going to waste my time or anybody else's

[@wowso4]

Whether your in your early 20s or not you should always date with the intention of marriage, if marriage and having a family is what you what in the future. I've seen so many woman get into on and off relationship in their 20s and spend 10 to 15 years with a loser who has no interest in marriage then the loser dumps them only for him to go off to get married to some 25 yr old 1 year after their break up and then that woman is left to pick up the pieces and all that time she wasted on a man who was never interested in her, don't do it ladies, if he doesn't want to marry you don't waste your time with him. Woman's only have a small window of chance to have children don't waste your youth on a man who never wanted to give you a real commitment.

[@bookbag6432]

That's a friends with benefits which is stupid. Why give your body for nothing in return? Makes no sense.

[@Safa-vy8xy]

not for nothing you get the other body in return loooool don't come at me tho im just saying and i think it's dumb too 😂

[@lexi219]

+h Bag Nah, you are getting something in return - friendship and good sex. Some people (definitely not all!) aren't in the right place for a relationship - whether they are too busy at the time to commit, just got out of a relationship, don't want a relationship, etc. - and are getting what they need at the moment from a fwb situation. If both parties are happy, it's incredibly judgmental to call their personal business "stupid".

[@michellerichardson3090]

For nothing? Girl good sex is hard to find sometimes.

[@HewanYitagesu]

Jeannie's 'study' was being talked over and i felt bad they cut her off lol

[@Jay-tb4ie]

Lol yea I wanted to hear more about it.

[@veronicah2599]

A SITUATIONSHIP IS A FANCY WORD FOR A FLING!!! THATS IT!!!!

[@TiffanyRayneOfficial]

My response is, different strokes for different folks. We can all sit here and say what we will or won't do or what should or shouldn't be. But the truth is, things aren't ever this black and white in life. And a situationship might work for some people, others not so much. Everybody can't do the conventional/traditional thing. My advise is, be honest about your intentions and feelings from the start and things will be less complicated.

[@Panagiotios]

It's not that hard, I mean, for example, if you go abroad like two months, and you meet a very cool person that you have a good chemistry with but you don't see her as marriage material, both understand the situation and share good moments together, without being jelous if she gets with another guy (Of course you guys are not going to talk about it, it's like common sence that it could happen) if you travel to another city or stuff.. it could be friends with beneficts, or maybe having a fling swith someome cool and then being friends when the times goes by, since is like a warm zone, when you just enjoy and live the moment, and don't get into the drama of a relationship. Or maybe because I'm recently on my 20's and I have biggers goals than an official commitment.. I dunno, but that's my point.

[@stanbalo]

i get the point but it is more of hangout buddies rather than actual intimate relationship. the relationship is still on the friendship zone basically.

[@moanmonroe8004]

I was caught in a situationship, I think you need to be in one to fully understand what it is. Both parties have feelings for eachother, sure one reason is sex but that’s not the only reason why. You might have a connection with the person but there’s something that will be holding both back wether that be trust, focusing on a career or etc. It’s also a terrible situation to be in at the end of the day because you have a million mixed emotions, mostly internal emotion (within yourself). In the long run its best to avoid situations tho because someone will end up hurting bad 100% of the time.

[@321330078]

This is so confusing, DOES ANYONE HAVE A SUDDEN CRAVING FOR CHICKENN AFTER THIS?

[@dejakihari8163]

Omg yesss!!!

[@SuperGinrummy]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@alreem9891]

+Lashaun Gordon Lol what

[@itsfriday9139]

+Lashaun Gordon NO? LMAO

[@gracejohnson319]

+Lashaun Gordon ok i laughed way too hard at ur comment

[@dr.dermixgirlmd7479]

*Situationships are the “It’s complicated” status on Facebook.* _Real talk, it’s when a commitment-phobe wants to have a relationship but keep their options open._

[@UnstoppablePassion1]

I'm 22 and ever since I was 18 I had in my mind to as Tamera said "Date with a purpose." I don't and never will understand dating just to date in the moment. I do agree that you need to be present and not so "is he the one" all the time *insert Tamar smack* HOWEVER, since 18 (well really my whole adolescent years) to present day, I am dating with the intention of getting married [.]

[@UnstoppablePassion1]

but then again I am extremely old school and "have an old soul"

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

I completely agree with Tamar!!! Who at 21 years old wants to hear the person they're dating talking about marriage!?!? I know some people think like that, but most of my friends would RUN the other way if a guy was thinking like that. Of course I'm not going to keep hanging out with you if we don't "vibe" but just cuz we're hanging out or dating doesn't mean we have to be thinking about marriage. It's actually important to date and meet different people because you start to learn what you want, what you don't, what you will and won't put up with, etc.

[@floralisa1975]

When they're talking about looking for a boyfriend vs looking for a husband... I'm 20 and I don't date people to just play around either, personally. I agree with Tamera. I understand just fucking with someone and having fun and if thats your thing then okay, do you. But personally if I'm spending time with someone I don't want that time to be wasted.

[@Sandi-lt6yu]

I agree with Tamera, it's just a waste of time. And also when loni said "that's MY rule tho" 😂😂☝🏾

[@bebeheart5128]

I see what Tamar is saying, you should date as much as you can when you're young. However dating changes when you reach a certain age, kinda like what Tamera and Adrienne were saying. You don't (at least in my opinion) want to be 35 wasting time dating random guys, it's a waste of time especially if you're looking to settle down and have kids.

[@_TaylorBerry]

I love coming back and watching it with Tamar here! She just brings something so special! I hope they work everything out. 💕

[@baked_alaska]

I don't know why these ladies explain everything in such a long-winded, convoluted way. A situationship is basically two people who want all the perks of a relationship (eg. dates, affection, cuddling, sex and all that good stuff) but none of the commitments (eg. relationship status, exclusivity, meeting the parents and all the other stuff that make a relationship monogamous). It's more than just two friends hanging out and then occasionally having sex (friends with benefits) or a booty call (having someone specifically in your life for the purpose of no-strings-attached sex) and it's different from multi-dating (going on dates with several people to test the waters for the best fit for you in a potential relationship). It's not a hard concept to grasp or explain. Like damn. 💀

[@nickymac7373]

Exactly! Like I had a situationship for years and it was basically like, "I like you but life is not allowing us to be together right now." There are SITUATIONS that are almost forcing you apart but a relationship is just not in the cards at that time but things could change down the road.

[@kelsaMJ]

To all of you asking "why date just to date?" Tamar explained it quite well "So you don't settle." If you go into any relationship looking to marry that person you can end up settling for less. It's about finding yourself, your values, and what you truly like or love most about someone. If you go in thinking if he's potentially "the one" and get your heart broken then what? Life without experience will get you no where. And of course there will be a time when you will want to settle down but ladies, it will always be up to the man if he's willing at the end of the day whether we like it or not.

[@DrowingInGrace]

If that's what Tamar meant, then she and Tamera are saying the same thing, in my opinion. From my understanding, Tamera isn't saying not to date or have boyfriends, she's saying to be intentional about dating... So that you don't waste your time or settle.

[@dmincey3]

+K Marie But based on how you explained it, you're saying what Tamera is saying. You're dating to not settle which means there is that purpose that you will find the perfect one for you. So, in essence, there's a motive behind dating.

[@AGEE_95]

+DrowningInGrace Yeah but tbh I'm not going into my first date already thinking about when we gonna get married, how many kids we gonna have, and what kinda house we gonna buy. I prefer to take it one day at a time, if I'm really feeling you. Who knows what'll happen in the future? If one day something happens that makes me decide I don't want to keep seeing you, then I'll end it. Simple as that. But I don't think I'm wasting my time just because, by the end of our fist date, I don't know if you'll propose to me 9 years from now.

[@blacktism7]

I really hate when they over talk each other

[@shedabenitha7376]

Ah Tamara... Adriane ,it's not even about age... I am turning 18 this year and I totally agree with Tamara. I have never had a boyfriend in my life just because I feel that in this generation I a lot of guys are scared of commitment. I feel if I'm going to date someone we have to be friends we have to have things in common and we have to have a purpose, ask yourselves what are we, and it doesn't mean that I want to get married now, it just means if I'm going to be in a relationship both of us need to be on the same page. also about the sex I just think everybody has their own opinion but I chose to keep my virginity and give it to someone that I can trust even if we're not married yet. and I think if it also has something to do with my family lineage. all four generations behind me including my mother manage to get pregnant before the age of 18 and never finished school. I'm not trying to brainwash anybody but I agree with Tamara. #teamcancer 😂

[@kelc1422]

+Sheda Benitha I totally agree. I don't think its an age thing, like Adrienne said, though. I will be 21 this year and I don't want to date just for the heck of dating. I'd like it to go further at some point. Otherwise, I feel like I wasted my time with someone.

[@shedabenitha7376]

+KAshlyn95 exactly! finally, because at school, my class just takes me for a weird person. I just like it like that. if you are not on the same page with him, you are wasting my time. Period.

[@kelc1422]

Sheda Benitha If you're weird, then I am too. lol. It could be a regional thing or just a morals thing. I'd rather not be known as someone who runs around. I think more girls feel this way than guys though. All the guys my age are just interested in hooking up. None of them are looking to be in a real relationship.

[@sarahjackson862]

I absolutely agree. I'm turning 19 and never had a boyfriend. Its about having this connection with someone. And I don't want to waste my time with a person that just want to have fun. It has to be more in a relationship. But I'll have to say I would have to keep my virginity until I'm married. My body is a temple and I would like to share that with my husband. Him and only. As a Christian.

[@Zarchin95]

+Sasa Jack I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

[@littlejoe9381]

Too many people want sex without commitment or responsibilities. It's selfish and sad.

[@Aieshoo]

Little Joe Yes, and unfortunately those guys looking for that always try and get at me. :(

[@user-tm5dw8if1z]

Little Joe yes appreciate atleast wants on this planet found to say what i have been believed in that

[@michellerichardson3090]

Theres nothing wrong with wanting sex and wanting to get it without an issue

[@Aliasss]

"We all had situationships Good sex, bad relationships Had dinner dates, had vacation trips Now the respect is lost.. The admiration dips & all we do is f*cking argue Yeah that's it.. f*ck & argue" Fab broke it down best lol

[@skylaarias-lopez3646]

So it's an open relationship

[@TT-wj1kx]

right. lol

[@yoneirisberenicesantana7897]

I know righttttttt... why couldn't they just say that?

[@itsfriday9139]

+Yoneiris Florimon THAT SOUNDS BORING, SITUATIONSHIP SOUNDS EXOTIC

[@hafsahussein365]

Mia Walker lmaooo exotic like the exotic stds you might be getting from each other

[@jtcartermusic]

Not necessarily. I had a situationships for 2 years and we were exclusive.

[@sakotsuku]

I love these. No serious strings attached and NO titles. Keep it safe.

[@LABEAUTEADDICT]

I totally agree with Tamera, being with a man without thinking what the relation could become, is a lost of time !

[@SameOlHim]

Let's be honest people: This might sound like the "Stupidest thing" to you, but to some it makes sense. Some people just don't want to settle down right now bc of different reasons, and you can't knock them for that. Some people are too focused on their careers and just want someone to spend time with, then others simply just want sex with a mixture of let's cuddle here and there lol, but all in all this was a GOOD ass segment. A really good topic to debate on. There is nothing wrong with a healthy debate. :)

[@MakebyJen]

I agree

[@JhoniRae]

+CianoXoC I think the problem is when there is no clearly defined lines. I don't think there should be "situationships if both people are seeking the same thing. So if it is a case that we both are career focused and don't wanna be tied down to a relationship then why not just say so and keep it moving? There just needs to be consensus so lines aren't crossed and feelings 'hopefully' not hurt.

[@SameOlHim]

Jhoni Rae I understand what you're saying, and I agree about the last sentence. And you missed the part when I said some ppl just want sex. Just bc you want sex doesn't mean you want a relationship. That's where the "situationship" comes from. It's not that hard to understand. If you don't like it then that's fine, but that doesn't mean others don't feel that way. Everybody is different. :) Some people actually agree to just have sex.

[@JhoniRae]

I never missed ur point and I understand that we don't have to agree on it. However, I just think that both parties should agree that they both just want sex and nothing more. Why should one person go in knowing they only want sex while the other is thinking the relationship will take off after sleeping with them. That's what I'm saying.

[@SameOlHim]

Jhoni Rae ohhhh okay,okay gotchu! I missed YOUR point! Lol, in that case I totally agree. And that's what I meant. As long as both parties agree to it then I don't see anything wrong with it. Now, if only one person knows that it's just sex and nothing else, then that's basically playing mind games with people and that's not right. I feel you though.

[@ShutterBeatReaderKirstie]

I completely agree with Tamera. I'm old school like her. I wouldn't waste my time either. ❤✌

[@iamsoiexist7192]

A situationship=A situationship is basically a pseudo-relationship. A placebo masking itself as a formative relationship. It smells like a relationship, it sorta looks like a relationship, and it may even feel like one, but it's not. I just googled it. they spent so much time wondering the definition.

[@Ms_T_Perfectly_Imperfect]

I think a situation ship is either friends with benefits or companionship. For some reason you two may know that a relationship between you two won't work, so you spend time together as friends, maybe have sex and when time comes for either of you to move on, it's understood that there are no hard feelings. It's about comfort, knowing you have a go-to when you don't want to expend the energy of getting into something new and starting from scratch.

[@mavkdeena6100]

A situationship is when you like someone, BUT you don't want to commit yourself to someone and you're always going to have feelings but you don't want to commit.

[@97indianuk]

Definition - kind of like a relationship but more of a situation example : friends with benefits, people that are a 'thing' or maybe even rebound are a situationship.

[@GrowingwithRome]

Just the one that crack your back real good! Felt that!

[@MakebyJen]

Moral of the story is to each its own

[@KristieBach]

Lmaooo 3:49 Tamera I agree with you guy. #DontWasteMyTime

[@rcraftee1]

Situationship is a new word for me, but I understand the concept. I used to use it to date a woman that I loved, thought was sexy and fun, but I knew there was no way I wanted her to be my wife. I'm pretty sure she felt the same way about me. It wasn't a waste of time, and it allowed me to get close to someone from a different walk of life.

[@killlamas57]

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[@skatemusically]

Tamera is me. I'm in my 20s and I'm looking for someone who could potentially be my husband in the future. I'm not into the whole friends with benefits because I want a man that's committed to me and our relationship.

[@StephanieGleam]

A Situationship is where, two people both have feelings for each other, flirt around etc. needless to say it's a big back and fourth concept, they are on an off, mixed feelings in the air. The man/woman doesn't seem to want to make things official. Hence it's just a big waste of time.

[@remaalawi]

it means they're just not into you.

[@camishavaden4121]

I crack up when Tamera goes "sigh...here I go again..." She gives me nervous Mr. Rogers neighborhood tease. Her POV is from purity and sometimes it can be uncomfortable to express but I love it.

[@wwedxecw]

One of the most confusing segments ever lol .

[@itsfriday9139]

+fe6ruary NO SHE SEEMED CLUED UP. A WOMAN WHO FOLLOWS HER RELIGION WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE HUSBAND AS THE END GOAL.

[@itsfriday9139]

fe6ruary OK BUT IT WASNT CONFUSING

[@itsfriday9139]

.

[@itsfriday9139]

fe6ruary Are you still typing?

[@TheMusicalFeeling]

You'll find a lot of situationships in college. A LOT.

[@keishavanessa]

i'm in one now and they're honestly the most annoying things ever! I kinda disagree with Tamera tho I mean situations serve their purpose when you're of a certain age but I feel like no one other then Tamar really gets the whole 'situationship' concept.

[@shygirlTJ186]

👍

[@princessrose2834]

a situationship is something that isn't usually planned. like when u want it to be more or when it starts weird and you don't know what it is, you're in a situationship. or when u get stuck in a relationship with someone you never wanted to really be with. like that's a situationship cuz its like wait a second this isn't exactly what I wanted. I'm in a situation. that's what that is.

[@ms.valcin9191]

situationship is y'all like spending time together (doesn't have to be sex but is sexual), understand each other and just relax cause apparently the word commitment got ppl afraid but usually you're in a situationship before a relationship

[@AbbyCadabbyxo]

Totally with Tamar on this one. It IS healthy just to date sometimes and not to have the expectation of "oh my god maybe he's the one!!" Sometimes you just date someone casually, it doesn't work out, and that's fine. It doesn't always have to be so serious. I totally get where Tamera is coming from too though. If you WANT something serious, you don't want to have your time wasted. It really is all about what the individual is looking for.

[@matildecastano2464]

I been in a situationship w/o sex but I got mad cuz I wasn't taken seriously and wanted to be official. I thought I was the problem until I realized it doesn't matter how good looking & smart you are, if the guy ain't ready and wants to be a hoe then he's the problem not you. Boy bye.

[@OneLoveRSR]

A situationship is one-sided. It's usually stated by the person who is unwilling to commit -- and not said to the other person in the relationship, but to someone outside of the relationship. It's code for "I'm seeing someone right now, but I'm not serious about them" when someone tries to holla at you and you're interested but want to warn them in case they see you with that person. In the words of Stevie Wonder's song Part Time Lover "If I'm with friends and we should meet, just pass me by, don't even speak. You the word's 'discreet.'"

[@simonrdarnhd7790]

Tamera 100% agree all these other relationships are just stupid . A serious one or there's not much point , just have friends .

[@Nyx72215]

I agree with Tamera I don't date just to date, I'm not dating to find a soulmate but if I do then that's something special. being boyfriend and girlfriend is something that some people cherish. One person and one person only.

[@kaylalewis4354]

I always thought situationships were like two people are kicking it and actually have feeling for each other, but for whatever reason there isn't a title yet? Idk i could be wrong though.

[@MadameBeautiful777]

I agree with Tamera! Date with a purpose. Go Tam Tam

[@Hai_Lello]

THANK YOU, TAMERA!! I have ALWAYS said and lived by that since my early twenties. If I know that I wanna be married one day (which I am now), and I’m dating someone, if I realize over time that that person isn’t who I would want to be with long-term, then I’m gonna stop wasting my time AND his because what’s the point of going further?? That’s time I can be meeting and investing in someone else down the road. It does not mean that I thought every person I met or dated was the one from jump. It means that I’m dating them to see where it goes and if it isn’t going in the right direction then there’s no need to stay. That’s what dating with intention is. There’s no need for Tamar to be so heavily in disagreement with it or act like it’s such a shocking and weird idea. What works for the individual is what works for that individual. If you wanna date just to have fun, great! Do what’s best for yourself and respect the fact that people have their own ways of doing stuff and there’s nothing wrong with that.

[@23mrspattinson]

As someone in a "situationship", I think it's different for everyone. I have a really great guy friend (let's say "Bob"), and Bob isn't my boyfriend, but (as Tamar says) he breaks my back in good. We are both 24, in college, and are working two jobs. We don't want a relationship with each other or anyone else because we are so busy.We hang out, he has a key to my house, we do everything together, and people swear we are dating, but we aren't. I see other guys, he's sees other girls and that's fine. It works for us, and when it stop working, I know I will always have him as a friend. I don't think it's crazy or childish. I think I'm being young and it's a difference between being 24 and 34 doing things like this.

[@IzzyEze]

I thought a situationship is when 2 of you kinda have feelings but nobody wants to admit it. So you guys are more than friends by the way you hang out with each other and both act, but because no-one has taken that extra step to call it a relationship, you're stuck in the middle.

[@rebeccasmall3384]

Im currently in a "situationship". I was the one who told him that if there is no title then there's no problem. I said this not because I'm afraid of commitment, but because I'm still young. I see my friends who are in relationships constantly having to change our plans or lie about what they are doing because their significant other doesn't approve. With going to school, working, and sports; I didn't need a 3rd parent breathing down my neck. I didn't move out just to be put under someone else's watch. Situationships aren't always "hooking up". Sometimes you just don't need added stress on your life at the moment.

[@ChantayLainey]

The difference with dating and "situationships" is that when you're dating you are working towards a relationship. In situationships, you know it will never be anything more than what it is.. That's how I interpret it anyways.

[@cassidycasimirisme]

Id say situationships are when youre basically dating or doing everything that couples do, but that certainty of being an exact item isnt there.

[@learningearning8385]

Situationship is a person who doesn’t want you. They want a long term booty call

[@97indianuk]

In my opinion it is a relationship that has no labels on it. Like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.

[@msjdavisxo]

I'm Tamera and I'm 23...that phase mentally has surpassed me. What is the point to catch feelings for someone you're not trying to have a future with somehow??? Kicking it, being all coupley to then do what...there's no final destination for you two..waste of my time. If we're kicking it and whatnot we need to be on the same page as far as future goals or else next. Like I can't do that to my feelings. I love hard