I finally humbled myself enough to ask for help, so we budgeted for a housekeeper. In this season of life, between homeschool, 5 kids and running a homestead, I realize my limitations. My deep desire is for our home to be a sanctuary, a place of peace and one thing I know about myself is that when it is in a state of chaos I am not at peace, it weighs on me and it is a distraction. So I learned there is no shame in asking for help and it has been liberating.
@suburbanhomesteadliving92128 ай бұрын
As I read this, I couldn't help but think that I was writing this myself... I'm thankful to know I'm not the only one who is struggling with this season of life! ❤
@lorelwebber64358 ай бұрын
I asked for help and no one came. It’s inside us to fix our own. If we can’t do it ourselves why should we drain others?
@sophiacorpus97698 ай бұрын
@@lorelwebber6435 That’s why you have to have a good community around you when you sincerely need help God will send a Simon of Cyrene don’t worry
@anneshirley95608 ай бұрын
@@lorelwebber6435who exactly is getting " drained"? I'm sorry that no one came to help you, but that doesn't mean others shouldn't seek help.
@michsmo28838 ай бұрын
Same here!!! Been rough!
@TC-oh9ty8 ай бұрын
This was perfect for me to see today! Currently in the despair of feeling like I’ve lost myself as a new first time mom but also very grateful for my baby. The hardest but best days it feels like I only take care of baby, clean, cook, and prep. I miss my personal interests and talents but my baby is the best thing to ever happen to me and I’m blessed to be able to stay home and take care of him and my home! It’s isolating at times, but good to remember it’s a season and I know I’ll miss it too. ❤
@roseofsharin8 ай бұрын
Please don't watch or listen to people who tell you you've "lost yourself" when you're raising and loving children. You're the most important person in the world to those little ones. You are in a time of your life that can never be replicated and no amount of adult time is comparable. It passes quickly. Enjoy it, be the best for them every day, you will be remembered and loved immensely for it. There truly is nothing better.
@jacquelynroe90368 ай бұрын
Aahh I felt this message to my CORE! I have two masters degrees but have spent the last 7 years nursing babies, wiping bottoms, cooking yet another meal for everyone... It’s such a messy mix of joy, exhaustion, frustration, and pretty much every other emotion, and often feeling like I’m drowning. Sometimes I have a very similar declaration to my husband that I AM capable of intelligent adult conversation 😂. But it also is such a sacred time of life and such sacred work. Hugs from Buffalo, NY 🩵
@tracyguillemette62558 ай бұрын
I'm 60, I keep my kitchen and bathroom "clean" and then rest of the house picked up, it gets cleaned when company comes over - enjoy the time with your kids and husband, clean when you can, but you and your family come first - have adventures!
@franceslynch32858 ай бұрын
I am not well , good days things get done , I have had to let go . My sister died and I have her Autistic son he's 40 , he needs me more than my house .
@lorrilewis21788 ай бұрын
There's an influencer I watch with a gorgeous house that's always perfect. Her fan's favorite post was when she showed her living room looking like a hurricane went through it, and said, "This is how it looks most of the time."
@jeanneamato82788 ай бұрын
I enjoyed this and it had many good points. What I didn’t see, was your children helping out, doing chores, picking up after themselves. That’s important also.
@Julia298536 ай бұрын
They do a ton of chores and help. Itsall over her channel! Just look at some of them.
@sydneychannelmaxwell8 ай бұрын
I’ve been waiting so long for another one of your Homemaking/ showing the home videos!! I sooo love these ❤❤❤
@RR-ep6uc8 ай бұрын
I’m 73 years old and I think paying for help is great!! It will give you more time to spend with your family and continue to make wonderful memories. So happy for you!!! 💕
@AlejandraLarson-te7or8 ай бұрын
I love these types of videos. Shaye, you truly inspire me.
@kaitlinmeadows62738 ай бұрын
Soooo loved the beginning pictures of the chaos of a home well lived in-and loved! Relate less and less to the highly curated and camera perfect versions of homes that do not mirror any reality of a life I live! Letting go of the need to judge and scold myself so harshly trying to be perfect has cleared so much more space in my life for joy! Bravo for being real!
@IsisOya8 ай бұрын
I like that: I rather be strong than perfect.
@KylieSmith858 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video!!! I have been a quiet follower of your channel for many years. Purchasing our own 70 acre block and building our farm from the ground up in the past 5 years, whilst starting a family and watching my two girls grow as our farm does. I eagerly await your videos for that rare moment I’m sitting down (usually whilst having a quick lunch between farm tasks or while staying on top of Mount Washington - my laundry pile). Your honesty and vulnerability in this clip really hit home & spoke to me on a deep level. Thank you for showing the realities of your home & that this season of life is beyond busy and overwhelming at times. You’ve hit home on what our priorities of a mother should be & the battle of our own wants and desires. Thank you so much for the reality check (said she who was briefly sneaking in lunch after harvesting from the late summer garden & trying to prep salsa for canning to use up the home grown vegetables that are taking over our fridge in the garage - all before a meeting at work, kinder and school pick up and a meet the teacher evening before dinner & returning to the salsa making once my little people are in bed)! It is so refreshing to see the real life moments & not just the perfectly presented ones that often fill our screens. You continue to inspire me.
@racheld.20466 ай бұрын
Another beautiful moment of encouragement. Thank you Shaye! To see you living out the truth of scripture so simply is refreshing. Not perfect, but real & honestly. ❤
@theelliotthomestead6 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@Qdanger9328 ай бұрын
I wish I could sit and chat with you a while… this was such an encouragement to my heart, yet the daily mental struggle is more than “perfection” and I am so worn out. I am a widow with 6 children, remarried 2 years ago and moved states. I left all I knew, all my children knew, and so much more to the story. Life is hard, beyond hard, even knowing the Lord is near, the difficulties and overwhelm do not go away, nor dissipate … Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
@livmegargle54208 ай бұрын
I smiled to myself when I saw your tp situation. That’s how ours often is- just extra rolls stacked behind the seat and often not even one on the roll because they don’t fit when they’re too thick and then it doesn’t last very long when it’s already half gone. It was inspiring to watch you tidy and clean before my day of doing just that begins. Have a beautiful week Shaye!
@lindahunt60048 ай бұрын
I listened to your KZbin and you made me see that I've always felt I had to be Miss Perfect. I stress over what I don't have time to do. You made me see that I'm much more than my perfect house, no weeds in my flowers, makeup on before I see anyone, etc. You have brought me so many lessons of life. I am sincerely grateful. Look forward to all your posts. Blessings to you and your beautiful family. BTW, stop being so perfect. 😊
@tanyaderrey5058 ай бұрын
It's funny how as we get older we see it's less about being in control or having it all figured out and more about the simple things and showing up every day for our family. Not always glamorous but so worth it. Great video as always!
@tammiesanders55392 ай бұрын
That was beautiful, Godspeed young lady!! We raised 10 children and we have 14 grandchildren, and ,there were some hard and overwhelming, times, but we got. Through it, I'm, 56 and all those days seem like a life time ago, our little one will be 21, soon, you as a mother are so cherished, by your family in line, you are a beautiful, host, and my God's grace be all around you daily, all our love sincerely, Tammie jo, bighugs
@lmullens758 ай бұрын
SO GOOD!!! I see you as the perfect homemaker & feel so imperfect ALL the time. Thank you for the reminder that it’s about the people we serve and not the house.
@aprilmogensen8 ай бұрын
Even though i am now in a different season of my life, my children are all grown --- I totally enjoyed this video. Thnakyou for sharing.
@roseofsharin8 ай бұрын
I so wish women would find meaning and purpose in homemaking and child raising again. It's so important for society. Instead I hear women say they "die to themselves" or lose themselves. Thats very sad.
@lyn253178 ай бұрын
God has used you in this moment to speak to me where I am with our homeschooling. Thank you for sharing this!
@jenniferstocker54628 ай бұрын
Watching my daughter in her first year of motherhood brought back lots of these same kinds of thoughts for me, but also all the joy I had then too by learning to put my ego aside a bit and be present for those wonderful early years of being a wife and mother….and as an aside, I’ve loved Dorothy Sayers for years, one of my favorite books is Murder Must Advertise, dated but laugh out loud funny bits! Who doesn’t love Lord Peter?
@terrisserose8 ай бұрын
A small job, when done right, makes a big difference
@philom1na8 ай бұрын
Been following you since the beginning, this is the best video yet, I really needed to see it. Thank you for your beautiful honesty and example!
@alumniadri87168 ай бұрын
“Letting go of perfect” when literally all your videos appear perfect…😂😂
@lillyloveshome90556 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I find myself in the same season and it's hard to let go of my own desires sometimes, but I'm truly blessed in this season and grateful for it.
@theelliotthomestead6 ай бұрын
Working on being content in every phase of life is a continual discipline I have found.
@annem67788 ай бұрын
This was just what I needed today! Thank you for filming the dirty lunch boxes, the hair brush on the dining table, the empty smoothie cups and your family just beautifully existing in all the chaos, love and learning. My house is similar and live in. I would also rather be strong than perfect.
@leandrawatson716429 күн бұрын
Thank you Shaye, this was a very encouraging video for me and a great reminder of what is truly important in this season of my life!
@relliot10008 ай бұрын
How beautiful! I love that Proverb. It’s helpful when you’re cleaning messes over and over again to remember it’s because I am blessed with these wonderful people, I GET to clean up after them! 😍
@MaeLace8 ай бұрын
This was something I really needed to hear in this time. We want to homeschool, so I'm currently in the process of building up my own business to allow for that, while also working a full time job, caring for a toddler, managing the house, and contemplating more children are in our future. It feels incredibly overwhelming at times, and I worry that things can fall through the cracks. But I'm trying to not let perfect be the enemy of good, and for today, good is enough.
@angelathomas27758 ай бұрын
This ministered to me very much as I can feel so overwhelmed and currently have all the things going on and have that inner critic telling me I should be able to keep a tidy house every day no matter how many children and animals are living in the space! Thank you
@jenilee.thepioneerhome7 ай бұрын
Yes! Thanks Shaye. I certainly needed this reminder as well.
@mandy60628 ай бұрын
Wow… Did I need this video. I have a 3 year old and 6 month old. I work full time from home. I try to be Miss Perfect and it’s killing me. I did hire someone to deep clean my home about once a month and that is a huge help. I cried when you said I’d rather be strong than perfect. Me too. ❤
@AliceHoo8 ай бұрын
This is a very encouraging and truthful sharing that spoke well for my stages in life as a mom and a homemaker. Thanks for the Miss Perfect story, I will need to let her die at this time, and to allow chaos, joy and the main things to show up in life at this stage. Thank you Lord for this video❤
@strongroots23457 ай бұрын
I desperately needed to hear a like minded woman in the same season I am in,say this. ❤❤❤ thank you.
@olgacaballero19988 ай бұрын
I can totally relate to your struggle with the old British English. I moved from Russia with my family to Alabama knowing some English that I learned there, but it was British. Soooo Alabama English was like a whole new language to me 😅
@sealskin52218 ай бұрын
Girl,...you done said a WORDuh in this video!! Thank you because I was just talking about perfectionism this morning and the soil that it grows out of and it's branches. And this was very spiritually astute.
@AWellOrderedHome8 ай бұрын
I’m not a mom as yet, but I’ve just come home to be a full-time homemaker. I think that caring for children and nurturing children is eternally important, as you pointed out. But I also think that it does involve a level of complexity and intellect to do it well through self-education, research, application, experimentation. Feel free to come at me moms, lol, maybe I’m missing something. 🙈
@RHouse-xd2yu8 ай бұрын
I recently went through a life change that has taken time away from the home and I was killing myself trying to get a grip on everything and keep it the way it was. We bought a new home and it needs some Reno’s so I decided to go back to work for a couple of years to pay cash for everything after not working for a decade! Although my kids are older 9 and 11, and more self sufficient, I too had to learn to let go of the perfectionist inside just to stay sane! All in all, it has been a great opportunity for my children to learn some independence and to do things for themselves. It took about 6 months for me to finally feel at peace with it all but I have a good enough handle on how I feel about it and happy with what does and doesn’t get done the way it used to. I certainly could relate here, thanks for that! ❤
@Samantha-hq2dz8 ай бұрын
Honestly this video was much needed. Your house is so pretty and put together. I’ve followed for a few years on and off and I’ve always sort of “looked up” to you, I guess. It’s nice to see the real messes. The toys. The trash and all the freaking socks! I can’t wait for summer so I don’t have to find so many socks! Thank you for posting this. It was a breath of fresh air. I’ll be saving this video to go back to.
@sophiacorpus97698 ай бұрын
Hey shaye..wise words of wisdom 👍🏻 so one small comment…I’ve chose to change to either we get the little garbage cans in our bathroom that have an insert that we dump into a bigger can or we go to Costco and buy the best deal on the compostable small bags for the small cans !they’re a bit stinky but they’re so much better than using plastic bags… Just a little household/ environmental tip👍🏻
@laughingdovefarm33118 ай бұрын
Oh my goodness , you just quoted Proverbs 14:4, a verse that came to me when I was in the midst of seemingly endless days & nights of dishes, diapers, cleaning. .repeat, repeat (1970's). One day while I was doing dishes ( no dishwasher ) I realized how blessed I was. I had dirty dishes because I had food and I had precious family to prepare it for. Having had sheep and goats for many years I know a perfectly clean stall and barn are achieved only if you have no livestock, a perfectly clean home and kitchen ( without hired help) is achieved when there is no husband or children or beloved friends & family. I actually put a small wood piece in my cupboard I wood burned myself, with that verse. Blessings to you Elliots !
@laughingdovefarm33118 ай бұрын
BTW~ I still often get stressed when I cannot keep my home as perfectly as i desire, yet I am reminded often I am blessed to still have so much family grown kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids still a big and wonderful part of our lives. God is so good to us, praise HIM !
@ChristineKlayo8 ай бұрын
Luv your time with your kids they are with you for a short time I still miss that noise but then there are grandkids and that’s the best what a journey
@carpenterfamilyfun11198 ай бұрын
This was a hard one to watch at first, hits me in a personal way, but boy did I need to hear this! Thank you for being humble. “Miss Perfect” can be a problem.
@karenthesheepgirl19098 ай бұрын
Rex is back!! yaaay!
@girlmeetshomestead8 ай бұрын
Your heart posture behind this video is just what I needed. Thank you!
@sunsetstella89178 ай бұрын
HalleluYah ! Build endurance to overcome then you shall be perfect
@meggo66738 ай бұрын
This was a beautiful video. I, too, struggle with perfectionism; it sure can be a beast. I'm in a season of being forced to let go to such a greater degree than I'm comfortable with, and you know what? You're right. It's better to be strong than perfect. I found myself tearing up at the end. Thank you 💓
@sophiacorpus97698 ай бұрын
I don’t think it’s perfectionism per se I think it’s just wanting things organized and not chaotic because that way our minds can be at peace ..it’s a constant change of priorities that’s for sure
@lyndspickett57708 ай бұрын
OH SO GOOD! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Thank you.👍🏼❤🙏
@kalenclark8 ай бұрын
We show more grace to ourselves the older we get, I think. We start realizing what is most important as we hear time ticking a little louder, and it is never appearing perfect.
@tikimama11398 ай бұрын
I love Dorothy Sayers - my fav is Gaudy Night which is an almost incomprehensible collection of English university roles and names and customs (and untranslated Latin and French). Over many readings and researching I can now mostly follow it. But the denseness never gets in the way of the mystery (and the love story). AND I love your floors! My 1910 house in Portland has the same wide soft Doug Fir floors and they show all the years of wear (and a bad 1982 DIY varnish) and I love them.
@monikapv103 ай бұрын
Love your home . Pl do give a complete home tour too!♥️
@tinaweaver40558 ай бұрын
Perfection was never an option for me….this was like a breath of fresh air😅making friends with my chaos brought me profound peace. Move quickly past the negative and keep going forward towards goodness
@annabelcarter52668 ай бұрын
Right to heart of the matter. Well said, very relatable.
@normacoplin41028 ай бұрын
Best you've ever said. Very well done 👍
@joannbaumann40288 ай бұрын
What a nice reminder to keep things in perspective.
@DianneAndrews7168 ай бұрын
Thank you Shaye! I too would rather be strong than perfect. I needed this reminder.
@ChristopherHendrie8 ай бұрын
Raising your children is the greatest blessing God has given you.
@bokehbabe2 ай бұрын
To this day, your marigold wallpaper is one of my favorites.
@aimeestauffer28448 ай бұрын
So encouraging, Shaye!
@VagabondAnne8 ай бұрын
I love that book!!!! I recently had the experience of listening to a native Chinese-speaking Doctor in the Emergency Room tell my sister how to take care of her wound at home at lightning speed in highly accented English. My sister and I realized simultaneously that we understood her better if we didn't listen too carefully, and then it all made perfect sense.
@felitalloyd8837 ай бұрын
This is such a beautiful message.
@TheRevoluTimes8 ай бұрын
What a beautiful video Shaye.
@leghornlife8 ай бұрын
I feel this! ❤😂 My kids see photos of my house pre-kid days and they think its a different house! No....its just mom is a super neat clean freak but you would never know it nowadays, she will be back one day.
@mrsbrittanylouu75188 ай бұрын
So thankful for your words friend!!!!!
@pennygardner84968 ай бұрын
Blessings of family is a whole lot better than perfect
@carlawaldo67058 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing reality!
@lisanester33388 ай бұрын
Shaye, one thing about disorganization and dirt…it will still be there waiting. So drive your children to school, sports, lessons, take the time to answer seemingly pointless questions,watch the animals play,enjoy a pause at the window while washing up and know this. The investment you’re making in life, it’s all worth it. I know it seems hard but if you think about it, Miss Perfect already lives here. ❤
@Wentworth18 ай бұрын
Thanks for being honest...takes the pressure off,you are beautifully real.
@sophiacorpus97698 ай бұрын
I definitely have learned over the years to just drop everything and go &to prioritize and re-prioritize hourly lol
@madisonfrost15148 ай бұрын
Thank you for this, Shaye! In the life season with three littles 5,3,& 6 mo. As well as my husband launching a business. All amazing gifts, but I’ve asked myself those same questions a lot recently. Thank you for the encouragement 💛
@melodyfisher15128 ай бұрын
Thank you for the encouragement…and motivation. ❤
@barbarapeterson80308 ай бұрын
HAPPY FRIDAY Shaye, family, and fur babies. Absolutely Agree. Thanks for the motivation. STTB
@rochellelafoon13008 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. I needed to hear every word. What a blessing you are ❤️
@sarahlangham6358 ай бұрын
I a glad that I am not the only one constantly picking up socks…. We are empty nesters and it’s just the hubs socks😂😂😂😂. But still…
@susannagiesey96578 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing this. I needed to hear this today.
@coiasirathebard77748 ай бұрын
Just gave birth to my 3rd child. Struggling to be kind and let go of the mess that is growing around me. Mostly throw pillows aka sofa pets that mostly live on the floor, dirty hardwood floors, and fingerprinted windows. Thank you! I very much needed this today.
@roseofsharin8 ай бұрын
My kids are grown and I have all day to tidy up and clean. And my house is clean. But it wasn't that way when I had 4 little ones. There will come a time when you're in my place and you will long for the mess and sticky floors that come with your children growing, learning, and loving each other in your home. Many blessings.
@Crazyfarmgal20118 ай бұрын
I needed to see this video today! What a great reminder and inspiration.
@jenjernagan51848 ай бұрын
So very true! It's such a nice analogy.
@calliebolstad13458 ай бұрын
Oh, how I can relate! You could have been me speaking. The Lord has been speaking to me about just this lately. So timely. Such a confirmation. Thank you.
@TheJambajuice148 ай бұрын
Thank you! What encouragement this video is🙏🏻
@ValorStudios1238 ай бұрын
Thank you my friend! Goodness I needed this reminder.
@cynthiawhitcomb17808 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing that Scripture. I never thought about that one in that way 👍🏻
@megs19668 ай бұрын
Love love love this message ❤
@dariadanielson65358 ай бұрын
Sweet message shay.
@ameliaduberville93098 ай бұрын
Amen, Sister!!
@raindrop00008 ай бұрын
One day a week for chores and make the rest of the family help. You're doing no one any favors by being their perfectionist slave. I'm a single parent and being forced to give up the illusion of a clean home was the best thing that ever happened to me: made lots of time available for fun and passion
@majorfrost82068 ай бұрын
The socks made me laugh, and I appreciate the idea behind your post. That said, here I am sending a message about...Dorothy Sayers and "The Nine Tailors"! I am a huge D. Sayers / Lord Peter Wimsey fan. Aside from the linguistic differences between 1920s upper class British and everyday North American, part of your difficulties might stem from the fact there's a whole lotta chat about bell ringing in the book. A pretty esoteric subject! But do persist in reading the books, because they are so good! My favourite is probably "Murder Must Advertise", but that is closely tied with the three books where Harriet Vane enters Peter's life (I have gone blank on the title of the first - something with "poison" in it, but the other two are "Have his Carcass" and "Gaudy Night"). So much fun! Of course your children need your time and focus right now, but that doesn't mean you are being a "Miss Perfect" if you take some down time for yourself to read, nap, ponder stuff or just look at clouds. A refresh and re-set is always a good thing!
@patticurran3088 ай бұрын
Great message I needed to hear. Thank you!
@t_nels8 ай бұрын
❤️ 💯🌹Kiss, Keep it Simple Sister
@genietillery8788 ай бұрын
There's no such thing as perfection. We have moments of order and moments when everything feels clean and tidy, and then life happens.
@namastacey18 ай бұрын
Must be something in the air… I’ve had these same thoughts…. I find myself much more calm…💕