Letting Go Of Miss Perfect | Homemaking

After a busy week, I am catching up on Homemaking. How do you let go of perfection and be present in the season you are in?
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Filmed and edited by Stuart Elliott
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00:00 Welcome
00:22 Let Me Tell You a Story
03:37 Regular Cleaning Schedule
04:34 What I Am Capable Of
05:14 One Hard Day
06:11 Early Years of Motherhood
07:14 Demands of a Mother Now
08:27 Dying to Miss Perfect
09:11 Season of Meeting Needs
10:08 Strength Over Perfection

[@unabellavita6541]

I finally humbled myself enough to ask for help, so we budgeted for a housekeeper. In this season of life, between homeschool, 5 kids and running a homestead, I realize my limitations. My deep desire is for our home to be a sanctuary, a place of peace and one thing I know about myself is that when it is in a state of chaos I am not at peace, it weighs on me and it is a distraction. So I learned there is no shame in asking for help and it has been liberating.

[@suburbanhomesteadliving9212]

As I read this, I couldn't help but think that I was writing this myself... I'm thankful to know I'm not the only one who is struggling with this season of life! ❤

[@melp8616]

Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

[@lorelwebber6435]

I asked for help and no one came. It’s inside us to fix our own. If we can’t do it ourselves why should we drain others?

[@sophiacorpus9769]

@@lorelwebber6435 That’s why you have to have a good community around you when you sincerely need help God will send a Simon of Cyrene don’t worry

[@anneshirley9560]

@@lorelwebber6435who exactly is getting " drained"? I'm sorry that no one came to help you, but that doesn't mean others shouldn't seek help.

[@IsisOya]

I like that: I rather be strong than perfect.

[@TC-oh9ty]

This was perfect for me to see today! Currently in the despair of feeling like I’ve lost myself as a new first time mom but also very grateful for my baby. The hardest but best days it feels like I only take care of baby, clean, cook, and prep. I miss my personal interests and talents but my baby is the best thing to ever happen to me and I’m blessed to be able to stay home and take care of him and my home! It’s isolating at times, but good to remember it’s a season and I know I’ll miss it too. ❤

[@roseofsharin]

Please don't watch or listen to people who tell you you've "lost yourself" when you're raising and loving children. You're the most important person in the world to those little ones. You are in a time of your life that can never be replicated and no amount of adult time is comparable. It passes quickly. Enjoy it, be the best for them every day, you will be remembered and loved immensely for it. There truly is nothing better.

[@RR-ep6uc]

I’m 73 years old and I think paying for help is great!! It will give you more time to spend with your family and continue to make wonderful memories. So happy for you!!! 💕

[@lorrilewis2178]

There's an influencer I watch with a gorgeous house that's always perfect. Her fan's favorite post was when she showed her living room looking like a hurricane went through it, and said, "This is how it looks most of the time."

[@tracyguillemette6255]

I'm 60, I keep my kitchen and bathroom "clean" and then rest of the house picked up, it gets cleaned when company comes over - enjoy the time with your kids and husband, clean when you can, but you and your family come first - have adventures!

[@franceslynch3285]

I am not well , good days things get done , I have had to let go . My sister died and I have her Autistic son he's 40 , he needs me more than my house .

[@Qdanger932]

I wish I could sit and chat with you a while… this was such an encouragement to my heart, yet the daily mental struggle is more than “perfection” and I am so worn out. I am a widow with 6 children, remarried 2 years ago and moved states. I left all I knew, all my children knew, and so much more to the story. Life is hard, beyond hard, even knowing the Lord is near, the difficulties and overwhelm do not go away, nor dissipate … Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[@jeanneamato8278]

I enjoyed this and it had many good points. What I didn’t see, was your children helping out, doing chores, picking up after themselves. That’s important also.

[@Julia29853]

They do a ton of chores and help. Itsall over her channel! Just look at some of them.

[@jacquelynroe9036]

Aahh I felt this message to my CORE! I have two masters degrees but have spent the last 7 years nursing babies, wiping bottoms, cooking yet another meal for everyone... It’s such a messy mix of joy, exhaustion, frustration, and pretty much every other emotion, and often feeling like I’m drowning. Sometimes I have a very similar declaration to my husband that I AM capable of intelligent adult conversation 😂. But it also is such a sacred time of life and such sacred work. Hugs from Buffalo, NY 🩵

[@kaitlinmeadows6273]

Soooo loved the beginning pictures of the chaos of a home well lived in-and loved! Relate less and less to the highly curated and camera perfect versions of homes that do not mirror any reality of a life I live! Letting go of the need to judge and scold myself so harshly trying to be perfect has cleared so much more space in my life for joy! Bravo for being real!

[@sydneychannelmaxwell]

I’ve been waiting so long for another one of your Homemaking/ showing the home videos!! I sooo love these ❤❤❤

[@AlejandraLarson-te7or]

I love these types of videos. Shaye, you truly inspire me.

[@racheld.2046]

Another beautiful moment of encouragement. Thank you Shaye! To see you living out the truth of scripture so simply is refreshing. Not perfect, but real & honestly. ❤

[@theelliotthomestead]

Thank you!

[@roseofsharin]

I so wish women would find meaning and purpose in homemaking and child raising again. It's so important for society. Instead I hear women say they "die to themselves" or lose themselves. Thats very sad.

[@tanyaderrey505]

It's funny how as we get older we see it's less about being in control or having it all figured out and more about the simple things and showing up every day for our family. Not always glamorous but so worth it. Great video as always!

[@KylieSmith85]

Thank you for this video!!! I have been a quiet follower of your channel for many years. Purchasing our own 70 acre block and building our farm from the ground up in the past 5 years, whilst starting a family and watching my two girls grow as our farm does. I eagerly await your videos for that rare moment I’m sitting down (usually whilst having a quick lunch between farm tasks or while staying on top of Mount Washington - my laundry pile). Your honesty and vulnerability in this clip really hit home & spoke to me on a deep level. Thank you for showing the realities of your home & that this season of life is beyond busy and overwhelming at times. You’ve hit home on what our priorities of a mother should be & the battle of our own wants and desires. Thank you so much for the reality check (said she who was briefly sneaking in lunch after harvesting from the late summer garden & trying to prep salsa for canning to use up the home grown vegetables that are taking over our fridge in the garage - all before a meeting at work, kinder and school pick up and a meet the teacher evening before dinner & returning to the salsa making once my little people are in bed)! It is so refreshing to see the real life moments & not just the perfectly presented ones that often fill our screens. You continue to inspire me.

[@AWellOrderedHome]

I’m not a mom as yet, but I’ve just come home to be a full-time homemaker. I think that caring for children and nurturing children is eternally important, as you pointed out. But I also think that it does involve a level of complexity and intellect to do it well through self-education, research, application, experimentation. Feel free to come at me moms, lol, maybe I’m missing something. 🙈

[@lindahunt6004]

I listened to your KZbin and you made me see that I've always felt I had to be Miss Perfect. I stress over what I don't have time to do. You made me see that I'm much more than my perfect house, no weeds in my flowers, makeup on before I see anyone, etc. You have brought me so many lessons of life. I am sincerely grateful. Look forward to all your posts. Blessings to you and your beautiful family. BTW, stop being so perfect. 😊

[@MaeLace]

This was something I really needed to hear in this time. We want to homeschool, so I'm currently in the process of building up my own business to allow for that, while also working a full time job, caring for a toddler, managing the house, and contemplating more children are in our future. It feels incredibly overwhelming at times, and I worry that things can fall through the cracks. But I'm trying to not let perfect be the enemy of good, and for today, good is enough.

[@terrisserose]

A small job, when done right, makes a big difference

[@alumniadri8716]

“Letting go of perfect” when literally all your videos appear perfect…😂😂

[@livmegargle5420]

I smiled to myself when I saw your tp situation. That’s how ours often is- just extra rolls stacked behind the seat and often not even one on the roll because they don’t fit when they’re too thick and then it doesn’t last very long when it’s already half gone. It was inspiring to watch you tidy and clean before my day of doing just that begins. Have a beautiful week Shaye!

[@lmullens75]

SO GOOD!!! I see you as the perfect homemaker & feel so imperfect ALL the time. Thank you for the reminder that it’s about the people we serve and not the house.

[@aprilmogensen]

Even though i am now in a different season of my life, my children are all grown --- I totally enjoyed this video. Thnakyou for sharing.

[@strongroots2345]

I desperately needed to hear a like minded woman in the same season I am in,say this. ❤❤❤ thank you.

[@angelathomas2775]

This ministered to me very much as I can feel so overwhelmed and currently have all the things going on and have that inner critic telling me I should be able to keep a tidy house every day no matter how many children and animals are living in the space! Thank you

[@karenthesheepgirl1909]

Rex is back!! yaaay!

[@philom1na]

Been following you since the beginning, this is the best video yet, I really needed to see it. Thank you for your beautiful honesty and example!

[@olgacaballero1998]

I can totally relate to your struggle with the old British English. I moved from Russia with my family to Alabama knowing some English that I learned there, but it was British. Soooo Alabama English was like a whole new language to me 😅

[@jenniferstocker5462]

Watching my daughter in her first year of motherhood brought back lots of these same kinds of thoughts for me, but also all the joy I had then too by learning to put my ego aside a bit and be present for those wonderful early years of being a wife and mother….and as an aside, I’ve loved Dorothy Sayers for years, one of my favorite books is Murder Must Advertise, dated but laugh out loud funny bits! Who doesn’t love Lord Peter?

[@jenilee.thepioneerhome]

Yes! Thanks Shaye. I certainly needed this reminder as well.

[@carpenterfamilyfun1119]

This was a hard one to watch at first, hits me in a personal way, but boy did I need to hear this! Thank you for being humble. “Miss Perfect” can be a problem.

[@lyn25317]

God has used you in this moment to speak to me where I am with our homeschooling. Thank you for sharing this!

[@kalenclark]

We show more grace to ourselves the older we get, I think. We start realizing what is most important as we hear time ticking a little louder, and it is never appearing perfect.

[@lillyloveshome9055]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I find myself in the same season and it's hard to let go of my own desires sometimes, but I'm truly blessed in this season and grateful for it.

[@theelliotthomestead]

Working on being content in every phase of life is a continual discipline I have found.

[@sophiacorpus9769]

Hey shaye..wise words of wisdom 👍🏻 so one small comment…I’ve chose to change to either we get the little garbage cans in our bathroom that have an insert that we dump into a bigger can or we go to Costco and buy the best deal on the compostable small bags for the small cans !they’re a bit stinky but they’re so much better than using plastic bags… Just a little household/ environmental tip👍🏻

[@lyndspickett5770]

OH SO GOOD! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Thank you.👍🏼❤🙏

[@relliot1000]

How beautiful! I love that Proverb. It’s helpful when you’re cleaning messes over and over again to remember it’s because I am blessed with these wonderful people, I GET to clean up after them! 😍

[@An-mei]

❤️ 💯🌹Kiss, Keep it Simple Sister

[@AliceHoo]

This is a very encouraging and truthful sharing that spoke well for my stages in life as a mom and a homemaker. Thanks for the Miss Perfect story, I will need to let her die at this time, and to allow chaos, joy and the main things to show up in life at this stage. Thank you Lord for this video❤

[@annem6778]

This was just what I needed today! Thank you for filming the dirty lunch boxes, the hair brush on the dining table, the empty smoothie cups and your family just beautifully existing in all the chaos, love and learning. My house is similar and live in. I would also rather be strong than perfect.

[@annabelcarter5266]

Right to heart of the matter. Well said, very relatable.

[@aimeestauffer2844]

So encouraging, Shaye!

[@mandy6062]

Wow… Did I need this video. I have a 3 year old and 6 month old. I work full time from home. I try to be Miss Perfect and it’s killing me. I did hire someone to deep clean my home about once a month and that is a huge help. I cried when you said I’d rather be strong than perfect. Me too. ❤

[@sunsetstella8917]

HalleluYah ! Build endurance to overcome then you shall be perfect

[@reclaimedlife_tx]

This came at the most perfect time for us. Homeschooling, homesteading + 4 kids, all in different sports, I am no longer home for a full day to get my homemaking tasks done. Instead it's passing ships with my husband as he carries some of the load, and we each drive from one side of the world to the other shuffling our children to where they need to be...eating out more than we like, and accepting that projects will have to be for a different season. Miss. Perfect will have to sit in the corner for now. Thank you for this video today!

[@Crazyfarmgal2011]

I needed to see this video today! What a great reminder and inspiration.

[@madisonfrost1514]

Thank you for this, Shaye! In the life season with three littles 5,3,& 6 mo. As well as my husband launching a business. All amazing gifts, but I’ve asked myself those same questions a lot recently. Thank you for the encouragement 💛

[@felitalloyd883]

This is such a beautiful message.

[@laughingdovefarm3311]

Oh my goodness , you just quoted Proverbs 14:4, a verse that came to me when I was in the midst of seemingly endless days & nights of dishes, diapers, cleaning. .repeat, repeat (1970's). One day while I was doing dishes ( no dishwasher ) I realized how blessed I was. I had dirty dishes because I had food and I had precious family to prepare it for. Having had sheep and goats for many years I know a perfectly clean stall and barn are achieved only if you have no livestock, a perfectly clean home and kitchen ( without hired help) is achieved when there is no husband or children or beloved friends & family. I actually put a small wood piece in my cupboard I wood burned myself, with that verse. Blessings to you Elliots !

[@laughingdovefarm3311]

BTW~ I still often get stressed when I cannot keep my home as perfectly as i desire, yet I am reminded often I am blessed to still have so much family grown kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids still a big and wonderful part of our lives. God is so good to us, praise HIM !

[@tinaweaver4055]

Perfection was never an option for me….this was like a breath of fresh air😅making friends with my chaos brought me profound peace. Move quickly past the negative and keep going forward towards goodness

[@RHouse-xd2yu]

I recently went through a life change that has taken time away from the home and I was killing myself trying to get a grip on everything and keep it the way it was. We bought a new home and it needs some Reno’s so I decided to go back to work for a couple of years to pay cash for everything after not working for a decade! Although my kids are older 9 and 11, and more self sufficient, I too had to learn to let go of the perfectionist inside just to stay sane! All in all, it has been a great opportunity for my children to learn some independence and to do things for themselves. It took about 6 months for me to finally feel at peace with it all but I have a good enough handle on how I feel about it and happy with what does and doesn’t get done the way it used to. I certainly could relate here, thanks for that! ❤

[@sophiacorpus9769]

I definitely have learned over the years to just drop everything and go &to prioritize and re-prioritize hourly lol

[@sealskin5221]

Girl,...you done said a WORDuh in this video!! Thank you because I was just talking about perfectionism this morning and the soil that it grows out of and it's branches. And this was very spiritually astute.

[@megs1966]

Love love love this message ❤

[@Samantha-hq2dz]

Honestly this video was much needed. Your house is so pretty and put together. I’ve followed for a few years on and off and I’ve always sort of “looked up” to you, I guess. It’s nice to see the real messes. The toys. The trash and all the freaking socks! I can’t wait for summer so I don’t have to find so many socks! Thank you for posting this. It was a breath of fresh air. I’ll be saving this video to go back to.

[@sarahlangham635]

I a glad that I am not the only one constantly picking up socks…. We are empty nesters and it’s just the hubs socks😂😂😂😂. But still…

[@normacoplin4102]

Best you've ever said. Very well done 👍

[@girlmeetshomestead]

Your heart posture behind this video is just what I needed. Thank you!

[@patriciacinea3097]

Strong, not perfect. I will remember that, thank you.

[@TheRevoluTimes]

What a beautiful video Shaye.

[@carlawaldo6705]

Thank you for sharing reality!

[@user-lm4bu8rr2k]

Luv your time with your kids they are with you for a short time I still miss that noise but then there are grandkids and that’s the best what a journey

[@susannagiesey9657]

Thanks for sharing this. I needed to hear this today.

[@tikimama1139]

I love Dorothy Sayers - my fav is Gaudy Night which is an almost incomprehensible collection of English university roles and names and customs (and untranslated Latin and French). Over many readings and researching I can now mostly follow it. But the denseness never gets in the way of the mystery (and the love story). AND I love your floors! My 1910 house in Portland has the same wide soft Doug Fir floors and they show all the years of wear (and a bad 1982 DIY varnish) and I love them.

[@majorfrost8206]

The socks made me laugh, and I appreciate the idea behind your post. That said, here I am sending a message about...Dorothy Sayers and "The Nine Tailors"! I am a huge D. Sayers / Lord Peter Wimsey fan. Aside from the linguistic differences between 1920s upper class British and everyday North American, part of your difficulties might stem from the fact there's a whole lotta chat about bell ringing in the book. A pretty esoteric subject! But do persist in reading the books, because they are so good! My favourite is probably "Murder Must Advertise", but that is closely tied with the three books where Harriet Vane enters Peter's life (I have gone blank on the title of the first - something with "poison" in it, but the other two are "Have his Carcass" and "Gaudy Night"). So much fun! Of course your children need your time and focus right now, but that doesn't mean you are being a "Miss Perfect" if you take some down time for yourself to read, nap, ponder stuff or just look at clouds. A refresh and re-set is always a good thing!

[@emla874]

Thank you ❤

[@aneliseschubert137]

Beautiful and meaningful, love videos like that x

[@dariadanielson6535]

Sweet message shay.

[@lisanester3338]

Shaye, one thing about disorganization and dirt…it will still be there waiting. So drive your children to school, sports, lessons, take the time to answer seemingly pointless questions,watch the animals play,enjoy a pause at the window while washing up and know this. The investment you’re making in life, it’s all worth it. I know it seems hard but if you think about it, Miss Perfect already lives here. ❤

[@joannbaumann4028]

What a nice reminder to keep things in perspective.

[@VagabondAnne]

I love that book!!!! I recently had the experience of listening to a native Chinese-speaking Doctor in the Emergency Room tell my sister how to take care of her wound at home at lightning speed in highly accented English. My sister and I realized simultaneously that we understood her better if we didn't listen too carefully, and then it all made perfect sense.

[@user-tq6gy4ws1l]

Raising your children is the greatest blessing God has given you.

[@shannona5377]

Love this, thank you!

[@barbarapeterson8030]

HAPPY FRIDAY Shaye, family, and fur babies. Absolutely Agree. Thanks for the motivation. STTB

[@DianneAndrews716]

Thank you Shaye! I too would rather be strong than perfect. I needed this reminder.

[@kwall1464]

All well said!

[@mrsbrittanylouu7518]

So thankful for your words friend!!!!!

[@Wentworth1]

Thanks for being honest...takes the pressure off,you are beautifully real.

[@pennygardner8496]

Blessings of family is a whole lot better than perfect

[@fishinghole333]

Beautiful.

[@claudiapacheco6718]

Amo estos videos!!!

[@lookingupwithkathyandcarla]

Beautiful!

[@melodyfisher1512]

Thank you for the encouragement…and motivation. ❤

[@jacynjames]

❤❤❤❤ “increase comes by the strength of an ox.”

[@leghornlife]

I feel this! ❤😂 My kids see photos of my house pre-kid days and they think its a different house! No....its just mom is a super neat clean freak but you would never know it nowadays, she will be back one day.

[@TheJambajuice14]

Thank you! What encouragement this video is🙏🏻

[@rochellelafoon1300]

Thank you for this. I needed to hear every word. What a blessing you are ❤️

[@meggo6673]

This was a beautiful video. I, too, struggle with perfectionism; it sure can be a beast. I'm in a season of being forced to let go to such a greater degree than I'm comfortable with, and you know what? You're right. It's better to be strong than perfect. I found myself tearing up at the end. Thank you 💓

[@sophiacorpus9769]

I don’t think it’s perfectionism per se I think it’s just wanting things organized and not chaotic because that way our minds can be at peace ..it’s a constant change of priorities that’s for sure

[@jenjernagan5184]

So very true! It's such a nice analogy.

[@lavernmollyhahn5168]

Love this ❤️ What I needed to hear in this season

[@raindrop0000]

One day a week for chores and make the rest of the family help. You're doing no one any favors by being their perfectionist slave. I'm a single parent and being forced to give up the illusion of a clean home was the best thing that ever happened to me: made lots of time available for fun and passion

[@patticurran308]

Great message I needed to hear. Thank you!

[@genietillery878]

There's no such thing as perfection. We have moments of order and moments when everything feels clean and tidy, and then life happens.

[@Duckie13Duck]

I love your videos. They are such an inspiration

[@cynthiawhitcomb1780]

Thank you for sharing that Scripture. I never thought about that one in that way 👍🏻

[@ameliaduberville9309]

Amen, Sister!!

[@briankrafczyk523]

Well done. Well said!

[@Smitty1307]

Love love love this. ❤️

[@vintagebeliever5023]

Thank you for a lovely, encouraging video😊