Life In Japan feels a little bit sad recently...

[@hholji854]

I’m so sorry to hear your story. I totally relate to the losing a friend and not understanding the reason why. I 1000% feel that it is just like grieving and it fills your mind every day, you feel heavy with the internal thoughts and questioning “what did I do wrong”? I hope you begin to rebuild your social life and find some genuine friends. It’s hard, but you’re not alone. I’m going through this too and I feel your pain. Stay strong ❤️

[@UGOKIBURI]

Ghosting is horrible. But what’s worse is when they yo-yo in and out of your life. I think I really need to make some changes. I hope that you can find a way to move forward. Sometimes I think things happen because it’s meant to happen. I’m ready for 2025. I hope it’s a better year for you. Sending you hugs ♥️🌸

[@chel_lotus]

I’m sending you a biiig virtual hug!! 💜You seem to have a huge heart. I wouldn’t close that for anyone! Being ghosted is one of the worst feelings, but that guy missed out. My suggestion would be to keep surrounding yourself with what makes you feel uplifted and happy. The smiley earrings and being out in nature with your little turtle sounds wonderful! ✨💜

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you so much for your kind words and support 💛 yes, I’m trying to be positive about this whole situation and I’m still trying to make friends here. It’s a bit difficult without knowing Japanese but I’m studying 📚🥹 thank you 🙏🏻

[@dossville]

You're not alone. Been here for five years and had a lot of difficult times. Only thing that kept me here was a humble church in Ibaraki and a church in my new town in Kanagawa. Stay strong.

[@lamarblackattack]

I sorry for your pain. I am wishing you the best!

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you for your kindness 🌸🌸🐢

[@Rorufuchan]

I have lived in Japan for over 10 years and my wife is Japanese. Japan is an incredibly challenging country in every way, even for me still. Realizing that Japanese people almost never show their true colors was like a shock. But after all these years, I just ignore this fact and other shortcomings in the country and just be who I've always been. Adapting a bit, seeing life in Japan as a long-term process and keeping up with things helps. Otherwise, just be yourself, even if that's not always appreciated by Japanese society. Good luck.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Hello, thank you so much for your kindness. Yes, I’m starting to think that I just adapt a bit while still maintaining my own identity. I’m glad to hear that for the most part you are enjoying your time in japan. I hope things keep going well for you and your family. Take care and stay healthy. ✨✨🌸

[@AtHomeWithJenn]

This video made me realize that there are many people that feel isolated yet live in a big city. I’m 51, I remember when we had friends in the neighborhood and grocery stores, I remember my mom going to a neighbor’s home to chat or a neighbor would come over to chat. I remember my mom going out to lunch with friends and having a great time. That was when I was a kid. Now, in my neighborhood, everyone stays indoors. As I go out to walk through the neighborhood,No one looks people in the eye to say or wave hello 👋. I make an effort to greet someone. My husband took a pot of chicken curry and rice to our neighbor. We make an effort to, but people choose to keep to themselves and that’s ok too. It’s changed so much. Again, your video helped me realize that while there are a lot of people nearby, isolation and loneliness can still exist. Love and hugs to you from Austin Texas ❤

[@UGOKIBURI]

I remember my mom doing that exact same thing. When we were younger it was so easy to talk to people and make friends with the neighborhood kids because everyone was outside playing. Now the streets are quiet and as you said, people keep to themselves. In Japan it’s even harder not just due to the language barrier but because people in general keep to themselves. I am not giving up. I am determined to make friends in my area lol. Thank you so much for your kindness and message. Love and hugs from Japan 🥹🤗🌸🌸🐢

[@Paperworms2nd]

Oh my god. I was crying with you throughout your video. Poor girl. I don't live in Japan, but I also struggle to find and maintain deep relationships. Every time I meet a person, where everything clicks, and I start to really really like them, thinking they are being my "best friend" - there comes a point where they initiate a fight, or just plain ghost me. I lost multiple girl friendships over the years like that. And I suffered so much grief, and I just don't understand why this is always happening to me, even though I put in so much time and effort into that friendship. You are not alone. Just know there are many who hurt like you, no matter where they live. And the older we become, it seems it gets harder and harder to make friends. I have lots of fans and followers on my social media platforms, but it is shallow. I have no single person in my life that I could consider "my best friend". That's why I journal a lot and write my thoughts down, because I don't know who to tell them to.

[@charlieskelhorn]

I've been ghosted a lot of times, and for no real reason at all. I think I've learnt that speaking to people behind a screen isnt the way if you want to be more than friends. I try to go out and take up new hobbies to meet new people. I'm currently going through one of the loneliest times of my life in my 30's but I have accepted it. I really appreciate the outdoors and the freedom and try to balance that with Internet time.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Hello. I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling as well. Yes, going outside does help. But maybe you can join a hiking group or some kind of community in your area. That’s what I’m currently looking at. Making friends and building relationships is difficult as we get older. I truly hope that things improve. I’m a friend so you are not alone 🙂

[@weaseldogs]

I'm so sorry you are having this experience. It hurts when people do this.

[@UGOKIBURI]

The lack of communication here is very frustrating. Especially trying to “read the air” because my brain doesn’t work that way lol. Thank you for your kindness 🥹🤝

[@thadtuiol1717]

I will never forget my first summer in Japan (1997)...I'd been warned before I went that it was uncomfortably hot, but in my silly naieve European mind, I thought that was going to be a dry Spanish-style heat. No biggie, I'd been to Spain several times in July and been okay... imagine my shock and horror when I found that in Japan I was basically in a giant open-air sauna that made it hard to even breathe or think straight. To make matters worse, it doesn't even get much better after the sun goes down, and it lasts July, August, most of September. Until people come here and experience it for themselves, they have no freakin' idea!

[@UGOKIBURI]

Yeah Japanese summers are no joke especially if you are not used to humid climate conditions. I knew that it was going to be hot and humid but it never gets easy. I have been buying little fans and cooling pads but they don’t seem to work lol

[@Riileyrose]

Feel that way about living in China sometimes. Many people are interested in making foreign friends, but when they meet someone with different views and opinions, upbringing, etc, it's just difficult to relate and form deep connections beyond practicing English & Chinese together. I had a lot of Chinese friends back home, and didn't expect to get along with other foreigners more when I came. I also struggled with people "saving face," by withholding how they really feel, and telling white lies to avoid conflict, etc. Going from a Western minded to an Eastern minded place is a huge jump in core values that not many people have the guts to experience... Especially as a fellow neurodivergent, I get it. You are doing great no matter what, it will get better. がんばって!

[@UGOKIBURI]

I have always wondered what life in china would be like, as I also love the food and culture. I think living in an Asian country has many hurdles and expectations that are very high to reach. I didn’t know that Chinese people also “save face” like in Japan. I think it’s better to just express yourself rather than avoiding everything. Less stressful although a bit of tension depending on the situation. I hope you can also form some deep connections in china. At least the food is good and you are able to connect with other foreigners who can relate to you. Let’s hope that our situation improves and we can make more friends! Thank you so much for your comment and kindness 🥹🙇‍♀️🐢🐢

[@EiderZendaIzaro]

For what i have leerng / gather from washing KZbinr from japan is that They do allot of the following things 1. They go to clubs ( sports, music,art, photos,food,ect) to find people with the same interest and make friends Edit:(it is very recomendable to niche down in activitys in Japan 🗾 so you can get different groups of friends and more variety it is also important to make Fournier friends so you don't feel alone in the beginning and then Make friends with Japanese people.) 2. Other use apps like tinder, meet up web 🖥️to make friends 3. in festivals you can participate and people make friends 4. You have to be careful with people that what to use you for practice there English those are only interests in using you and then disappear so for what i understand if they come to you speaking English ore only talk to you in English even if you talk to them in Japanese Run ,and there are other stuff but i don't remember right now 😅 You should try to look for more info so you know what to expect and don't end up hurt 5.Oh another thing is learning body language but for the asian sense for what i understand different culture have different body language 6. For what I understand making friends is the easy part the difficult thing is to maintain it because Japanese people need to keep to all ways keep the communication going ore they just leave because they think you don't want to,or they don't want to bother you So have agenda to the meet 1 a week minimum and maximum 1 a month 7. Practice your Japanese because it's super important to actually make Japanese friends Like bee good so you can have complex conversations with them. 8. Don't over share if is like a first meeting They don't like that and will disappear because it feels too much for them and sometimes it's better not to tell them anything That's is too much I've after a year. 10. Study there body language There are books about Asia or Japanese body language and facial expression reading. 11. Read books about the culture and how that affects people 12. Share house is good for making friends too. Sorry for my English is not good Spanish is my first language 😅 I have edited to add more stuff I hope this helps anyone that needs help

[@UGOKIBURI]

Hello, thank you for taking the time to send a comment with useful advice 🙏🏻 I will look into all of your suggestions. I think joining a group activity would be very helpful. I’ll go to my city hall and see what’s available in my area. 🥹🌸🌸🐢

[@EiderZendaIzaro]

@@UGOKIBURI No problem I only share what I remember other KZbinrs have done ✨ Oh another thing to add to the list of the things you can do Is to use a app like meet up that is use in Japan I don't remember the name 😅 if I find the video I share the name And the other thing would be a shearer house where the are Japanese people and Fornes If I remember other thing I would share it

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you so much! My area has a lot of foreigners. But the problem is that they are only here for a short time. I took your suggestion about joining a club or something around my area. I am currently looking at what is available in my area! Your suggestions were so helpful!! Thank you very much for your comment and advice 😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🥹🥹

[@lihoish]

I wish you to find people who you can connect to and be safe with, people who will care about you the same way you care about others. I think it is a very cruel thing to just disappear like that on someone, and indeed become a loss to grieve. I wish you to get better soon.

[@UGOKIBURI]

I think the hardest part is trying to assume what went wrong. Thinking about all the what if’s and what I could have done differently. Well, at least i have my tortoise 🐢 lol. Thank you for your kindness 🥹 let’s have a wonderful day 🤝

[@starflyer3219]

You made me think of that song "we all need someone to stay". ❤

[@UGOKIBURI]

I don’t know the song but…😭 lol

[@miked2662]

I am originally from Florida so I grew up with the sounds of Cicadas. I love them and the sounds they make.

[@UGOKIBURI]

I love them too. I wish they lived longer when they are above ground 🙂

[@miked2662]

@@UGOKIBURI Same, where I currently live, we get green cicadas. This year was bad, I only saw two. But back around 2022 there were a ton of them! I remember when I was really young back in the late 90’s, you could find horned beetles, but now you NEVER see them.

[@UGOKIBURI]

@miked2662 I was reading an article about that. Some scientists are trying to gather information from the people who spot the beetles to count their numbers and locations and to eventually increase their numbers. The cicadas here are all gone now. I miss their presence lol 😭😭

[@brianc21324]

I've been living in Japan already for 8 years. As a Mexican - American from California I definitely remember the struggles to adjust to certain things. It seems like you're going through what a lot of foreigners who are still getting accustomed to living here go through which is the western culture clash with the Japanese one. It definitely helped when I met my Japanese girlfriend to not feel as alone in Japan. Now we've been married for 4 years, but, there are still some things I am learning regarding Japan's rules, especially the more not-well-known Japanese rules. It takes a lot of adjustment, even if you love the culture a lot, especially if you come from the west.

[@UGOKIBURI]

This is so true! I also came from California lol!! Hola mi amigo. I’m so happy to hear that your wife has been a big support for you especially with adjusting to life here. Dating is kind of a headache lol. But yeah I think I just need more time to adjust to everything here. Do you speak Japanese fluently? I’m struggling with that lol lol. 😂

[@Myriel67]

I can relate. Here in Kyoto now is 37 degrees and high humidity!!! At home in Europe I was fine with heat! But here in Japan is hell! I can’t go outdoors!

[@UGOKIBURI]

I’ve been using my air conditioner non stop in Nara and now I’m scared to see my electricity bill lol. 😂 I miss winter 😭

[@Myriel67]

@@UGOKIBURI yes I know! Me too 24h air conditioning! It is impossible to survive without it! The bill will be terrible! But what to do? We can’t go outdoors!! And I understand too well about the complicated “relationship” with Japanese! I stopped looking for friends!! I was disappointed to often!

[@JustMe-hg5bq]

I think what you need is other autistic friends, i always heard that around social media since autistic people have different wired brains and i imagine is much harder to find this in japan since people do not treat their mental health. But no worries everyone goes through this lonely phase time to time. Just keep it going and u will eventually find someone. ❤

[@UGOKIBURI]

Oh it’s so funny.i was told the same thing. The problem is that here people don’t really talk about their mental health. So even if I met someone they probably wouldn’t mention it. It’s improving but it still stigmatized. I should make a video about it. Thank you for your comment! Have a beautiful day 🥹🐢🐢

[@JustMe-hg5bq]

@@UGOKIBURI 100% you should make a video about it bc im very curious and watch tons of videos of this, have a nice day!

[@Annsunshine30]

​@@UGOKIBURI I was thinking that too! My son is high functioning autistic person as well. Always done great at shcool, uni and work. But at the same time, been struggling to get long time close friends. Since he doesn`t read people very well. He is also very sarcastic, since that`s our culture. But can go that tiny little step too far, that can make people a bit uncomfortable. He gets exhausted when other people are talking a lot, about stuff he is not interrested in. And instead of taking part in their interrests, and not talk about his own, He will just walk away. And he doesn`t even notice that he does. He is super kind and always in a good mood, but the social struggles are real! Btw., I live in Europe, and I have been living abroad for some years too. I think it`s generally hard to move to a different culture, and adapt to that. I have read a serious survey, that says that people who move to my country, doesn`t get any navive friends . Besides after 3 years, 90% have moved back to their own country. And that`s what I did too, I moved back home again after 3 years as well. I read that Japan has the highest prosentage of high functioning autism in the world.... So maybe you can get some help and some connection to someone who understand your struggles soon.. Good luck with everything!

[@UGOKIBURI]

@Annsunshine30 hello, wow! This was interesting. I didn’t know that about Japan in regard to autism. I’ll look more into it. I hope your son is doing well. In general it’s hard to find a good community but it’s harder when a disability is involved. I hope you are doing well and that you and your family are doing better emotionally and mentally. Thank you for your kindness and your message. Please take care 🙂✨✨✨🌸

[@Hope-Angel]

I’m in dallas, Texas….we have AC but mine broke early this summer..it was terrible. But I got it fixed. Today It was 102F(38C). This year 2024 has been a rainy summer (cooler). Last year 2023 we had 55 days over 100F …

[@UGOKIBURI]

It’s crazy how hot it is everywhere. Even in California it has been getting humid there. Which is crazy because it was always a dry heat. The apocalypse is approaching lol 😂

[@Hope-Angel]

@@UGOKIBURI exactly…

[@J-in-Japan]

If you find your tribe, it’ll be a blessing. You may be a bit more of a direct type (American or Spanish?) but I could be wrong. I believe there is a group for you, hopefully you can find them. I believe Japanese people are not a monolith because I’ve seen various Japanese people with very different personalities, temperaments, and interest…I come across all these cool people on YT and IG, but the issue is is finding them in real life! It’s extremely difficult and I’ve been heartbroken as well…in fact my self esteem has been the thing I struggle with because I know I look different. I also been living in Japan and I’ve experience a similar thing as you, struggling to make friends. I tend meet extremely shallow and unforgiving people (being late to hangout will get you banned but they won’t inform you they were offended). They’ll just treat you badly. The shallow types, maybe they want to learn English or have foreign friends to brag, tend to seek foreign spaces, join foreign groups, etc, they are call “gaijin hunters” but of course not everyone who join foreign or cultural exchange groups are like this. If you like bugs and taxidermy I’m sure there are Japanese groups into that. The best thing you can do is create a meetup group on these topics, but if you don’t speak Japanese, you may need a friend to write the invite and help you lead the group. A nature hike to seek rare or special insects is one, but be careful of Japanese hornet. Or a trip to a science museum. Personally I like vehicles mainly cars and trains. There are HUGE interest in this in Japan, I’ve seen them on YT and IG, but I never meet these type of people in real life, instead I meet the shallow ones who laugh at me when I say i like trains so I take photos of them.

[@UGOKIBURI]

You are so kind. I greatly appreciate the time you took to respond to my video. Thank you. Yes, I have found people who share similar interests as myself but unfortunately they live far and it’s hard to hangout. I love cars and airplanes ✈️. Trains are cool too! Have you tried joining groups on Facebook? I heard it’s a good place for that. My problem is that I am very direct. I also have autism so that doesn’t help lol. But I’m determined!! And I believe in you! We will defeat Japan together!! lol lol 😂💫💫

[@SirJaymesDAudelée]

Hello from 🇨🇦 16:20 ~ Nope. I don’t mind. You go ahead and cry ur lil heart out. I’ll just listen. 💓😊 I heard that ghosting is a common thing in Japan and I have a hard time understanding why that is. It’s too bad because it’s a very inauthentic thing to do. And you do t want to get connected to inauthentic people. One real person is worth a thousand flaky ass folks. BTW: you just reminded me about how genuine a persons laughter and smile can be, when it’s intermingled with their tears.

[@dragoninwinter]

GOD bless you, angel.

[@marcogawa]

Right! Drinking just water ja not enough.

[@UGOKIBURI]

I need electrolytes lol

[@ShockiiieSpace]

Whenever I visit Japan. I only do Bento box eating and window shopping. Shopping and interacting with people. I do it in Korea.

[@UGOKIBURI]

That sounds really nice. I sometimes enjoy eating at the convenience store lol lol

[@LordDaymoon]

Bless your sweet heart people have become very cavalier with friendship nowadays i totally get what your feeling , if you dont mind me asking Where are you originally from & why did you leave ?

[@15751Chris]

Try getting some exercise. It does help, in ways. I understand, I went on a 3 month solo trip in Japan. I understand everything you are saying.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Yes, I started to exercise here more

[@rosannashe6313]

I am so sorry that you are feeling low and especially sorry that people can be so hurtful to others. Sending you a bit hug of positive vibes! Hang in there sister!

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you very much 🙏🏻 I wonder why ghosting is so common here. I feel like it’s more stressful to avoid problems rather than having to just face them. I hope everyday is a beautiful day for you! Thank you for your kindness 🙇‍♀️🥹

[@ukmevy]

Saw the video randomly showing up on KZbin recommendation and wanted to shortly share my thoughts. I’m a half Japanese living in Germany. I can relate to what you describe regarding the lack of direct and open communication … I’m sorry to hear that it makes you suffer so much. I lived in Japan until I was 7, so didn’t experience adult life there. But with family and the occasional contact when I traveling there, I noticed how difficult it is to get a read what the other person is thinking and feeling. I guess language is one major key, in addition to the general experience of all those unwritten and unspoken social rules. My Japanese is all over the place, that doesn’t help much 😅 Still, the habit of this harsh ghosting, that you described, is a really bad one. I hope it will change over the years. I have the feeling that when moving places it is always challenging to fit in or at least coping with it. I also don’t feel fully German and certainly not fully Japanese, but somehow found some peace with it. I am who I am, where I am. My wife is not a German native from south east Asia and also struggles for years with the mindset here. On the other hand I also once met an older German guy (while traveling in Japan), who told me how isolated he felt living in the US. For him deep friendships had a different meaning than for his US friends. I hope eventually you will find a fitting community . Or at least a peaceful state of mind. With few or many people. The pets surely seem to be good company anyway :) Best wishes!

[@UGOKIBURI]

I have actually met a few half Germans half Japanese people here too and they have said the same. They say it’s a struggle to fit in and find a place to feel comfortable in. I guess in general it’s hard to make real friends who possibly share common interests. Especially as you get older. I’m thinking that learning Japanese would improve my chances. Because google translate is making me sound insane lol 😂 I hope you have a wonderful day and i hope life improves for you and your wife! Thank you for your kind words 🤝🥹🐢

[@sleepyjoeatemyiceacream]

You seem like such a lovely, warm person. I don't know your full story, but moving to a new country is an amazing feat and you should be proud of yourself. Japan is very romantacized in the eyes of many, and the reality of life there only hits when you've been there for a while. I immigrated to Canada from the Middle-East with my family. I had money, support and was fluent in English and had lived in a Western country before. Despite that, I suffered greatly for 5 years before my soul and body fully adjusted to the new climate and culture, and even 17 years later I left without having made a single good Canadian friend (all the people I connected to were visitors who eventually left and we're still friends today). It's going to take some time, but if it's breaking your soul too much, you can always course-direct and change your plan. God didn't put us here to suffer. I send you a big hug from Jordan and pray your heart finds peace 🫶🌸

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you so much for your kind message. I think relocating anywhere is quite difficult. Adjusting to the new culture, food, language etc. I’m glad you got to move with your family. I’m keeping my faith that things improve. I’m glad that you are doing well and despite friends leaving, at least you are still in touch with them. I think I need to adjust my way of thinking. Thank you and god bless 🙏🏻🙇‍♀️✨✨

[@sleepyjoeatemyiceacream]

@@UGOKIBURI You are right, and the younger/sooner one does make a make the better and easier. I wish you success and quick and smooth integration into the new culture and pray that you'll always have smiles going forward. God bless you also 🌸🌸🌸

[@UGOKIBURI]

@sleepyjoeatemyiceacream you are incredible kind. Thank you 🙏🏻God bless you too. Have a beautiful day 🌸🌸✨

[@thadtuiol1717]

As for the other part of your video, I agree, mostly. I was ghosted by Japanese women on numerous occasions back in the day (late 90s), out of nowhere usually, because it felt like the dates we went on were fun and positive. Also, male J-friends would suddenly drop me, even though I thought we had become friends. I really didn't get it, and it got me very down. I think they're highly conflict-avoidant and are scared of making a scene in public or having embarassing repercussions for their family or workplace if a ranting, screaming and crying gaijin turns up demanding to know why they've been dumped. Luckily, I met "The One", and I've been happily married for 25 years now (mostly!), so thankfully beyond all that dating rigmarole and stress now, but I feel for people still playing the dating game/trying to make friends here in The Pan, it's rough out there. I hope you will feel better soon.

[@yankeeinjapan8869]

Been in Japan since 2016 Damn so it was like that back in the 90s too huh? I feel like with the social media age we are in, it might be even worse now. I can’t say for sure, as I was still a kid in the States during the 90s. Has it gotten worse or does it still feel the same?

[@UGOKIBURI]

You must have seen Japan in all its changes! Do you think it’s improving now? Congratulations on finding your partner! I love hearing how people met and glad you got to find someone. I think dating and friendships are hard in similar but different ways in Japan. In my case I think it would be easier if i knew more Japanese. But even my fluent friends still struggle so I think it’s just Japanese “saving face” that makes it difficult. Since I’m autistic I tend to be very direct with people and I noticed that is not okay here lol. Thank you for your kindness and message! I wish you and your family all the best! And it’s August so many fun festivals 🥹🐢🐢🤝

[@collectivecommentary123]

I wonder if it would help to find a club of other bug enthusiasts. Since there are clubs for all kinds of otakus, probably including bug otakus, in Japan, maybe that's a way to make more Japanese friends?

[@UGOKIBURI]

I thought about that. I know there’s one in Gunma prefecture and Tokyo but that’s far from where I live. But I guess online friends would be okay too. Maybe I just need to move lol lol.

[@yankeeinjapan8869]

Ghosting really sucks…I totally feel u. Happens to me too. I try not to expect too much from others y’know? 😉

[@UGOKIBURI]

I’m lowering the bar to the point where it’s just buried deep underground lol 😂 I hope no more ghosting for both of us. It sucks. I wish you happiness 🙏🏻 thank you for your message 🥹🤝🐢

[@Ronin2079]

Hey, watching this broke my heart. I have wanted to move to Japan for some time now, but this aspect of Japanese culture has made me rethink that desire and eventually move away from that desire. If you want a friend in the states, I'm here 😊

[@UGOKIBURI]

No! lol. I don’t want to deter anyone from coming to Japan. It’s a beautiful country. But understanding people is a bit difficult lol

[@Ronin2079]

@@UGOKIBURI I was there last year and almost didn't come back lol, but I'm just too social and too much of a "new yorker" to really fit in there it seems. Maybe I'll do a long 3 month stay and work remotely for a little change of pace next year 🤔

[@UGOKIBURI]

@rcafilmproductions1640 maybe try Tokyo area. There’s more people and more foreigners to talk to. Just don’t come in summer lol lol 😂

[@KingsandHunters]

Giiirrl. Just want to say - you are beautiful and normal. You are brave for being so open and honest and vulnerable. Even if you are struggling to find connections in Japan (which I hear is impossible as a foreigner), I hope you find your community on KZbin. I loved reading everyone’s comments to you and I agree with everyone ! 🫶 I moved to Croatia 5 years ago and I remember going through your exact same emotions around the 2 year mark living here. The feeling of not belonging and feeling rejected and wondering if it’s “me”. I realized I spent the first 2 years expecting i would find my community, fit into society, or at least make sense of the society I was in… it was exhausting. Year 3 I decided to not give a f***k about what people think of me and if I’m accepted or not. I stopped caring about desperately trying to connect with people and find friends. It was sad for me to give up on wanting that, something I thought I needed, but as soon as I changed my perspective, I finally found my flow and I’m happier! Do I have an amazing friend group here, no. Will I ever fit in, probably not - and I don’t want to. But I’m happy and content and find pockets of joy every day - yes! Life is about exploring. Explore and discover and have fun with it. Live, laugh, love, cry. Do exactly what you’re doing. ❤️❤️❤️

[@donaldbohn3183]

I used to live in south Louisiana, so I can relate!

[@thadtuiol1717]

It's still worse in Tokyo, the damn concrete and steel everywhere traps the heat and adds to the misery

[@UGOKIBURI]

It must be so humid there too! I visited in early 2022 and the food was amazing!

[@UGOKIBURI]

Country side has mosquitoes 🦟 but no buildings. Still just hot everywhere lol

[@BrainMeltDown]

Older people become more invisible in most Society...There is more Females Than Males in Japan, so Guys have lot of Options Some even have Multiple Girlfriends or sugar babies, (Papa-Katsu) Some wives/girlfriends do not care as long as it is considered more of a business transaction and not love...Im a American Japanese Living in Hawaii, Island of Oahu, And Even When I go To Japan I do not really fit in, Plus I am Fatter, and Tan/darker, My relatives in Japan even Say I am Fat (not really supposed to be an insult they say it more as an observation kinda thing, others probably will take it as an insult) Even the Snack Vendors Start Yelling Out Aloha! and start waving their goods and keep adding more snacks like 10 for 1,000 Yen Etc... The lady at the game store Kept Peeking around the corner watching me and every row I go she ends up popping up watching me to see if I steal anything ... maybe she thought I was Chinese or something because They have been stealing toilet seats, art pictures, coffee pot/heaters etc... at hotels and stuff. My friend from Hawaii is American Japanese and he married a Japanese Lady when she came to Hawaii and attended the community college here. She was also worked at the airport in Japan so she could speak some English.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Yes! It’s hard to make friends as you get older. And it’s hard to form a connection with people no matter where you live. That’s why I value whatever friends I make now more than ever.

[@George-Aguilar]

Right there w ua sister. Being overseas in another cukture is tough

[@UGOKIBURI]

I hope as years pass I can look back on this and just laugh about it. I hope you are doing well. 🌸🙂

[@missnaevia]

I've been learning japanese for 10 years and dated multiple japanese guys. Even long term relationship, I've never really succeeded to form a real connexion with my exes. You never know what they really think in their head, and I think its a real cultural thing, because unless its a japanese person who grew up in a foreign country, they are all like that. Even japanese people interested in foreign cultures and living in a foregin country are like that.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Dating is rough in general but then adding the culture differences is even more difficult. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a me thing or a them problem lol. I hope that you find or have found a good person. Everyone deserves a little happiness 🥹🌸🌸🐢

[@john-mi1ud]

that 'maybe today'.....i can relate so hard...it hurts.

[@UGOKIBURI]

It does! I carry my phone everywhere but nothing. Life is hard to navigate through. I hope you can find peace and happiness. Let’s hope our situation improves 🥹🙇‍♀️🐢🐢

[@DenshaOtoko2]

What you're supposed to say is " No it's no income at all you're really too kind."

[@UGOKIBURI]

I think I just need a vacation lol 🥹

[@jlovett4362]

Aww, you seem like a kind soul. Hang in there. Jesus loves you.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you so much ☺️ I hope you and your family are doing well. God bless ✨✨🌸

[@DenshaOtoko2]

I meant to say it's no inconvenience.

[@ehhe4381]

Yes. It's culture. Social harmony is at a premium in a collectivist culture. The hive is more important than any bumblebee...

[@OFADK]

I feel some of the same. I think you can see it from many different perspectives. E.g. what do people fundamentally belive in, does it give them hope, is it meaningful in a deeper and lasting way for you heart or is it empty? And I think almost everywhere, sad to say, these days it's getting worse. So if it was not so good before it's getting worse now. But I belive it's 'only' a season the end of an age. I think we see what Jesus spoke about, that because of lawlessness, the love of many will wax cold. And we of cause become affected, it is depressing. Many do not like this topic, but if you do not just want to escape problems, we have to see them for what they are. For me seeking God and and his wisdom is the answer.(and now I was reminded going back to this more again) Hope it can help. We need to stop fighting if somthing cant be won, and fight where we can win. Even also 'just' 'saving' our own small world. (just my thoughts). I think it's tough times everywhere. And we should not think it's me, or you who is the problem. (and a women I follow also said the other day. The truth is life is hard for everybody. She is a philosopher) And thanks for sharing, it was helpful to listen to you!

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you for your kindness and your message. Life is difficult sometimes. I think we just need to hold onto faith and hope that things improve. I truly hope that things improve for you 🥹🌸🌸🤝

[@Pinkuslovesbarlos]

The Japanese guys ghosting you are probably normies. You have to hunt for the outlier weirdos in Japan to match your specific personality. - If you ever met or befriended Tkyosam or Oriental Pearl on youtube they could maybe introduce you to some better potential partners (meeting people through other people might be a more secure route to less ghosting).

[@faeriegore]

At least they're interested in knowing how foreigners are. I live in Sweden and these people won't even try that. The only reason why I'm thriving is because I DON'T CARE. If they want to talk to me or not, I'm fine with it. But! Friendly people have it really difficult here. Since this situation affects you that much, have you thought of moving? I hope you feel better, soon.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Hello, I wish I could careless about interacting with people lol. I'm glad that you are enjoying your time despite everything. I plan on moving to another prefecture. I think that and learning japanese would help. Thank you so much for your kindness and for your message :)

[@tamikash]

Is the guys name Katsu? Because if it is, I've been ghosted too. Gotta pick yourself up and not let insensitive people who are avoidants get the best of you. We move...

[@UGOKIBURI]

😳

[@ainemcmahon5682]

hi my name is Aine i just wanted to say i know how you feel the dame thing happened to me with my bfs mother we talked every day and then it got less and less and now we dont talk at all and i just also wanted to add if you ever ned to talk or anything just to vent i am here to listen and try and help

[@UGOKIBURI]

It’s must be so difficult when it’s a family member! Have you tried to casually ask her what happened? Or maybe invite her to lunch? I know confrontations can be tough but I wish people would just say how they think and feel. Thank you so much for your kindness and support! Let’s try our best to support each other! Your name is beautiful by the way! Thank you for your kindness 💛🐢🐢🥹

[@ainemcmahon5682]

​@UGOKIBURI I live in Ireland she lives in England so its hard and I have tried but she told him she didn't really understand why I felt the way I did. Aw thank you and yes let's I am here if you need me ❤

[@UGOKIBURI]

Wow. It seems like it’s a her thing and not so much a you problem. Hopefully as time goes on she will come around and you guys can have a close relationship again. I think nowadays it’s just difficult to form a bond with anyone. Have you tried to write her a handwritten letter instead of texting? That might be better because not so much texting and it feels more personal. 🥹🌸🌸

[@ainemcmahon5682]

@@UGOKIBURI i was going to but i dont want to upset her and bring stuff up maybe im just scared i dont know but hopefully life will get better for everyone and that you are feeling better about japan i hope you are even if its only a little bit

[@senoritaangeles]

Hii

[@UGOKIBURI]

Hello friend 🥹🐢🐢🤝

[@cooliipie]

Wanting to connect to people? Dont think you can pick worse than Japan 😂👍🏻

[@UGOKIBURI]

lol 😂😂 true

[@kingmaafa120]

SA KO KU 😮

[@w.urlitzer1869]

why stay there if it makes you weep. life is short.

[@UGOKIBURI]

That's a good question. Japan isn't a bad place. I'm just having a hard time connecting with people. And all countries have their good and bad points. No place is perfect.

[@beverlyhills7883]

I'm in Mie. Same story. Polite people. But never any sparks. ​@@UGOKIBURI

[@sumiben5211]

@@UGOKIBURIafter 8 years I have given up on connecting with locals, try to find a foreign community and make foreign friends, it is a bit easier.

[@beverlyhills7883]

@@sumiben5211 Western immigrants (they call themselves "Expats") in Japan are mostly broke, broken weirdos who could not make it at home. Best avoided in my experience.

[@DenshaOtoko2]

How can anyone live with themselves?

[@elizabethtinsley8325]

Hi! I’m in Nara too. Let’s be in touch if you’d like!

[@UGOKIBURI]

Let’s hangout! I need friends here 😭✨✨

[@BlueT1000]

Why would anybody who claims to understand Japanese people, expect to form deep connections and find "love" there. As a foreigner in Japan, OF COURSE, you're going to be lonely. GEEZ

[@UGOKIBURI]

I guess it just depends. Some people find happiness and others struggle. Everyone’s situation is different. Either way, I appreciate your comment and I hope you are doing well 🥹✨

[@BlueT1000]

@@UGOKIBURI Thanks. Do you think it's possible to find happiness by changing where you live? Or, is it just a form of running away from the issues that prompted the move in the first place?

[@UGOKIBURI]

To be honest, I think sometimes changing location helps. And depending on the situation and your mindset running away seems to be something people do to get away from problems. In my situation I think it’s a little bit of both. I guess it just depends on the person and what they are going through. Interesting question. 🤔

[@Bobby_S.S.]

❤❤❤💐💐💐

[@UGOKIBURI]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🌸🌸🐢

[@DenshaOtoko2]

That's a no no. Don't vent to people in Japan because it goes against not bothering other people taught in Japanese Elementary school there.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Really? I didn’t know that it was taught lol. 😆

[@ehhe4381]

Wow, you didn't know about tatemae?

[@J-in-Japan]

Then what do you bond over if you can’t share anything about life? Not being able to talk deeper issues? Just have shallow superficial “friends” you only drink and get drunk with? Friendship has to be more than this.

[@DenshaOtoko2]

You need to work on your small talk and stop burdening your new friends with your personal problems in your own life ok?

[@Donutsoverdosed]

You are the burden on this world . Because of people like you so many sad and depressed people .

[@DenshaOtoko2]

You could not read the social script. You need to learn how to "read the air" so you don't offend them.

[@blabla-kk8bl]

Japanese likes japan they are not happy far from japan , I can see from my wife, becuase of this we move japan from new zealand.Beeing immigrant is same in any country, you leave all assests on back and creating every think from scratch whic is almost impossible.This is the reality of beeing an immigrant, Japan is my third country which I emigrate but I can tell clearly same problems I saw before. And it is not related to race or nations. As japanese companies doest not employ foreginers in high pay jobs so western states too, japanese person not beeing a friend with you so a western person too.They are all same problems which sourced from beeing immigrant.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Hello, thank you for your message. Yes, life in Japan is a bit different than back home. But I’m glad that you have the support of your wife. I hope that things improve over time. 🙏🏻🙂🌸

[@DenshaOtoko2]

Please keep your feelings to your family or close friends.

[@monogramadikt5971]

sounds like japan isnt the place for you yeah

[@HandiasTobil]

datemae and honne. if you can't handle people acting and thinking differently, then you should move to korea. koreans say act and behave exactly the way they think.

[@HandiasTobil]

as long as you follow the korean path, korea will love you for everything you are. we will be your tribe.

[@UGOKIBURI]

I think I’m stuck in Japan lol. But I would love to visit Korea someday. I like the food lol

[@DenshaOtoko2]

You inconvenience them so they left also you made them lose face and embarrassed them.

[@DenshaOtoko2]

You're a guest in their country please show some respect to your host.

[@yankeeinjapan8869]

Yo if ur in Osaka hit me up! I’m a KZbinr here too. Anytime. I know it can be lonely here. We parted ways and two days passed. I wondered, what’s going on? So I looked at her instagram profile, only to find she had blocked me….it was the weirdest thing ever. I asked some Japanese female friends and they were baffled too. I’ve also met girls in real life and we really vibed. The girl would be laughing and everything. Then we would exchange contact info and she was happy to do so. But after that I never heard from them again I think a large part of it is, yes, conflict avoidance, but as u said, they wanna interact with foreigners without truly connecting. I’ve known Japanese people who went overseas and only hung out with Japanese people or didn’t bother talking to locals at all. Not hating on Japanese people, of course. As an American, I can point out things I think are weak points with us too. But with the ghosting, even though it might stem party from culture, I do think it is rude, personally. It’s just my opinion. It’s very frustrating how shallow and impersonal interactions can be here. It’s like little one night stands without the s_x. Lol. They only wanna talk for that one moment and never wanna speak again.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Yeah! Let’s be friends. I’m sorry but i laughed out loud when you said it’s like having little one night stands without the “s*x” lol 😂 I think in Japan people like to keep to themselves but then they go home and complain about being lonely lol. I’ve watched a lot of documentaries about it on KZbin. I hope things improve for us! 🥹🐢🤝

[@yankeeinjapan8869]

@@UGOKIBURI haha that’s a great way to put it. They keep to themselves but complain about being lonely. Anyway hang in there!

[@john-mi1ud]

i loved this video, btw.

[@UGOKIBURI]

Thank you so much! 🥹🐢🐢🤝