Life with the Lindseys - Podcast Ep. 20 - Dating In 2020 - The Finale

[@Optimistic2416]

Charles is gonna mess around and end up getting in the friend zone from a woman he's really feeling. Thanks y'all for making this quarantine entertaining.

[@latresemilton6729]

I love me some Brittany from these episodes!

[@erynd.9911]

😂🤣

[@purposedriven13]

I agree with Britney and Heather 💯💯 Waiting on God is never a waste of time! God knows how to bring the right person at the right time. Thank you all for sharing! This was very entertaining 😂😂 I love all of the guests.

[@cheriepolk4531]

OMG Heather!!!! You said exactly what I have recently been dealing with. Want a guy around to fill a void... And for me It is my fault... I admit I am wrong for continuing to open myself up to the guy and playing with his emotions as well, because I already made it known to him that I know we don't have a future together... And I literally told him that I was using him because I was lonely and just want someone to talk to... He wants to be with me but we are unequally yoked to go along with a couple other things, so I know it will not work out. No matter how much I tell him I don't want to date he still wants to be with me because we get along very well and we look good together... But at the end of the day it's flesh looking for pleasure... And I know it's a distraction for who God truly has for me but I have to put my body AND MIND under subjection... Love the podcast... You all should do a Part 2 and 3 on this... Love you all in Jesus name!!!

[@shakia1229]

If I meet a new guy, I'm not going out with him strictly for friendship. I have to feel him out to see if he's husband material. I believe that if you're 30+, you shouldn't be just tryna kick it with the opposite sex, especially if you're waiting on the Lord, FOR MARRIAGE. It's a waste of time.

[@missharris1880]

Yassss 👏🏾

[@tessalala272]

LOOOOVE Britney!!! 💖💖 such a beautiful joyful spirit. And yes.. I’m steering clear of the Charles types 😬 you can get to know someone in a group setting. Why are you on a one on one date with em if you’re not exclusive and pursuing. Also, is he telling these ladies he’s going on multiple dates throughout the week? Pretty sure it’d be a hard pass if they all knew.

[@ariyaletwitty23]

I feel like if God is not the author of confusion then why not seek God about who your spouse Is IF you have that desire to be married? I feel like the men in this podcast are flesh driven more than the leading of the Holy Spirit. It’s like they’re not trusting God and over compensating by going out with all these people when God is like I got one (the one) for you. You can save yourself from a lot of “string alongs” confusion, double mindedness and “waste of timers” if you just be still, be anxious for nothing and wait on him. Know the season he has you in because his timing is perfect. We know that he withholds no good thing from his children..so yeah everybody need to just relax lol rest in the Lord.

[@userdoesnotexist5160]

Exactly I agree

[@missharris1880]

Personally I feel as though we have allowed the worlds way of dating creep into the church, that's why it's become complicated, I believe that God will reveal to us who our husband/wife will be but because we don't want to wait we start dating multiple people, emotions and feelings get involved and then we have a hard time discernining who we should really be marrying... Great topic and video xx

[@Optimistic2416]

It's still a date no matter which way people try to cut it. I agree, it's a waste of time. I know I've done my fair share of wasting people's time, you just have to be honest with yourself about it and move on. I was wrong. I liked the attention as well and it validated me from the guys that didn't want me when I was younger. Hangout/kickin' it one-on-one is the same as a date, periodttt. Great conversation.

[@fdoctor79]

I would love if Heather and Cornelius would have Dr. Dharius Daniels and his wife on this podcast. Particularly to discuss relationships.

[@sheenak2717]

Yassss Brittany!!! I’m with you girl!

[@esthermbabazi7696]

I love love love me some Heather❤❤❤Walk the Talk baby

[@renaissancegirl87]

You are responsible to people you date but you’re not responsible for their emotions. Example: if A man goes out to lunch with me and he makes it very clear and up front that the context is just as friends, and then if I still catch feelings, those feelings are my responsibility to deal with, it’s not his fault. If I cannot handle going out to a friendly lunch with a man without catching feelings and becoming emotionally compromised, then it’s my responsibility to let him know and set further boundaries, because he already let me know his boundaries. Caveat: He is responsible to act in a way that coincides with his declaration of friendship. If he says he only sees it as friendly, but then calls me all the time and wants to spend lots of time together and acts flirty toward me, then that is not right because it sends a confusion message and he should check his actions.

[@emm2058]

This convo was frustrating to say the least. WAIT ON THE LORD

[@erynd.9911]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@KeiaJohn4-15]

“We’re not dating, we went on a date”... boy bye. Last week, you were only focusing on what God wants in your life. He’s the reason why........... females think on one thing, when it’s another.

[@PandaHatz]

I'm so glad they started announcing their names because Charles sounds JUST like Cornelius lol.

[@crystaljones8287]

Brittany is me ..I am her..being honest with myself and the fact that I know I cant go around attaching myself to all these people has left my DMs dry and my phone as well but I see it as Gods protection in the long run 🙌🏾❤..also When Pastor spoke about how " religious " people become in church is true..I feel we hide in the church sometimes to escape our faults or mask what we really want but it will always come out.

[@bethaniejohnson9517]

I have thoroughly enjoyed this!! All 3 parts! I laughed so much and hard!!

[@divine2wear]

I appreciate the multiple perspectives. It gets tricky when we filter all things through our own experiences and motives. There is the truth and there is room for the Holy Spirit to lead. All do not have the same men issues or attention issues or intentions. It was good to hear Agatha’s perspective (as well as the others), but she offered something different than what is typically heard in traditional Christian circles.

[@sophia4christ]

Charles needs to sit down properly in Jesus' presence and stop wasting godly women's time! This man needs to grow in Christ - he walks strictly by sight and he is NOT a man of faith at all! I pray that all the women whose time he's wasting on fruitless dates right now, listens to this podcast and stop spending time with him. What nonsense! And then using God's word to justify himself! These are the type of "Christian" men I don't like - even if I'm not the female in question.

[@MzDollyAwesome]

To Agatha - so when you are dating someone as you say and are committed, are you still "hanging out" with male friends one on one?

[@aerybery]

Bet she won't and that right there should let her know what the intention really is at the heart of it

[@MrKindofimportant123]

You guys should do video content of this podcast!

[@cookingwithsappywappy704]

I love Britteny!!!

[@lateshajames6345]

This was great! The different perspectives are real and clear communication is key.

[@msvanessaceo]

Yes, I enjoy your episodes. The purpose of dating is to pursue a relationship, if it doesn't work out why would we continue to go out as friends? It's ok to meet people but to just be going out knowing it's not going anywhere. All I can say is just be honest and open about your intentions up front. My question for the Christian guys who just ask women out without an intent to become a couple, what made you ask them out? Just be upfront I agree. Great breakdown Heather purpose of courting is to marry and I agree with Brittany! I like how everyone respected each other's perspective, good discussion.

[@mary4j65]

...this was ...is...sooooo good at this time in my life!!! Godddddd Thankyou

[@angelicapineda109]

These were all valid and real question many us believers have with dating . Thanks for the difficult questions and answers . Needed to hear this :)

[@bellanova435]

I am about to start listening to this podcast! Can't wait to finish it!

[@erynd.9911]

Yo Brittany is hilarious !! I love her omg ! She has a beautiful spirit ! ❤️

[@Angeleyes2222]

Come on Brittany! Not an option. WORTH!💕👏🏾

[@Godsgem1108]

There’s no need to date multiple people, seems like a void filler or a rush to find the right one if you ask me. God will reveal your spouse in due time!

[@Angeleyes2222]

The two ppl who were previously married and divorced need to just enjoy being alone with GOD for period of time. Because they are just playing and not ready to jump into anything serious at this time.

[@msvanessaceo]

Maybe they need to date each other, excuse me hang out as friends! Good episode!

[@angelflower176]

Great podcast, Brittany had me laughing out loud many times haha🤣🤣🤣🤣 From Australia

[@melissacalderon1515]

Personally for me I don’t go on dates, usually I have friends that present me guys but it never works out which annoys me but I feel going on dates it because I feel there is purpose and I don’t want a go on dates with guys that are clueless have no idea what are we , for me is a big waste of my time and last year I had a friend that that present me a guy he was flirting me he wasn’t clear on what he wanted, he was pretty much immature but yeah I want a go on dates with the purpose of knowing I see a future with you not just “hangout” I’m not a option, I’m the REAL DEAL.

[@Mbuyiselo5]

I agree, if you know you have been waiting faithfully on the Lord it doesn’t make sense to go on friendship dates without any direction or intention. Personally I don’t go on dates unless I am at least of the view that you are a Christian and want to go on a date to get to know each other for the purpose of potentially courting, if you are both on the same page as far as God is concerned. I think Charles is not looking for a relationship at this point and is looking for friends. I think he should stop ✋ going on these purposeless dates and wait until he’s ready because right now he is wasting women’s time and is running the risk of confusing himself with all these fake dates.

[@jesussavesall8454]

I neeedd the video version pleassee 🤣🤣🤣 I know I'm late But fr I think it's only an issue when you're "investigating" multiple people at the same time

[@shemia]

💦""VALUE doesN'T beg"" ------!!! AMEN !!!--------

[@renaissancegirl87]

Also, if you're looking for future podcast topics, could you do an episode on how to set healthy boundaries with difficult family members who you would still like to maintain a connection with.

[@tonyacanada]

I think the goal is to establish a friendship. If a man decides he wants to take me on a date, I need to understand that this isn't anything else, but us hanging out. We are both available to get to know someone else because we are "just getting to know" one another. I think the issue comes in is when we start to assume he/she likes me or we catch feelings. We start to plan this fantasy in our minds way too soon. If we learn to become friends first, we wouldn't be so hurt if they choose not to take things to the next level. Treat that Man like an associate. If he wants to date you and its mutual, fine. If not, still fine because we were just being cordial .

[@KeiaJohn4-15]

I’m team Brittney 🤸🏾‍♂️

[@cpeacenlove]

These comments have helped in my decision to sit this episode out. The last two were 😬, and I debated on whether I wanted to hear this one...We most definitely are gonna have to just wait on the Lord for a spouse...

[@userdoesnotexist5160]

Heather I totally agree with you. I'm a SINGLE and I strongly feel convicted by the Holy spirit to not put myself out or entertain any guys. Yes, Heather I'm lead by the Holy spirit to do the what you called man-fast. For get about go out with a guy, I do not even text or chat with any guys on my phone,except for work purposes or else I'm CLOSE! Ladies we are not a option neither a thing to try n see if it fits or not. We are precious💕 Man please be LEAD by the Holy spirit, not FLESH lead. God will reveal it to you who you need to marry at His timing. Also, I feel that people out here in the podcast are too twisted /twisting the TRUTH excluding Heather .

[@msvanessaceo]

Yes waiting for part two!!

[@misssmith3045]

Yesssssss Heather its a distraction period!

[@rhianna100]

Omg i love you guys!!

[@marianankya581]

This episode was super mad; quoting scripture to back crazy thoughts!...the pen defining structure took me out!

[@Just_Jahmia]

Nice I’ve been waiting all morning 😅

[@ngreat4390]

I'm with Heather all the way on this one. This Charles guy is he saved and has any communication with Lord? His Philosophy is "I don't trust the Lord but lean on my own understanding" because it doesnt make sense in the real world. This is what makes people pretend till they get picked...then they marry and decide later they picked the wrong person...and that's because you can't trust your own understanding of who a person is and what they'll be tomorrow. You should absolutely trust the one who can see the future of bothof you. People feel like simply because they're divorced that qualifies them to make a better choice next time by dating but what it just exposes is that they were unteachable by the Lord before they married, unteachable after they married, unteachable after they divorced and headed for disaster with pride. The best pick is the one God puts together himself. You cannot go around giving the impression that you're with someone and expect everyone else to take the responsibility to not assume that y'all together. That's the problem with this generation and it's just crazy. Pride is a disease!

[@latanyar9377]

I don't get why people in the Church are afraid of the word "Dating" Especially if marriage is your goal. When a man says that this is not a date I would think he's just playing games and has commitment issues and he's not interested, I been there.The world too does not like to date and that's why so many people fall into these Untitled Relationships or Friends with Benefits for years. Honesty is still the best policy. I learned to express my goals with a man and learn him. If it's not what I prayed for then I keep moving.

[@misssmith3045]

Yesssssssss Brittany!

[@djpickleballplayer]

Throughout life I was never that interested in marriage. I was never ready to settle down with one woman. That changed when I turned forty. I became a Christian and got saved. My whole outlook on marriage and religion changed. Now, I am 41, celibate, and looking for my wife. A problem I am finding is a woman I was interested in is 45 and divorced. She was married once. She said there is no way she would ever marry again! She said she has her kids already and there is no reason for her to get married. This is a role reversal!! She sounds like a lot of younger men! So, I’m wondering if you two have come across this a lot where women in their forties who have been married before want no part of marriage again and just want to have a boyfriend and sex outside of marriage? This is an interesting predicament.

[@angelflower176]

My question is this:- How do you tell a christian guy you want to hopefully marry one day or at what point in a committed christian relationship do you tell them you are not a virgin and had sex in the past with ex bfs etc? Im currently single female age 33 ,but this baggage of mine of abusive ex bfs/sometimes my own parents.. trauma/premarital sex/clubbing etc makes me feel nervous of letting any christian guy in or telling them my past baggage because its really hard when they reject you cos of your past even if you’re a completely different person now and not rebelling or living in sin?? On top of ALL this my only sibling Vanessa suicided 1 August 2013 at age 25 very shocking and traumatic for me.. plus several other traumas and major sufferings in my life,,, how do i guard my heart but date without having a cold heart or overly cautious heart when sharing my story/testimony? When is it safe to be vulnerable with a guy im in a relationship with or dating without getting hurt if they reject me or ghost? Jess

[@KatieAJ]

Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and discernment. We dont know you and so we cannot tell you for sure.

[@Mbuyiselo5]

I agree that you should definitely ask God to give you discernment but I also think it would be a good idea for you to seek counseling preferably Christian counseling and work on the trauma you mentioned. To be honest past baggage can keep you in a place where it is difficult to connect or trust fully which may hinder future relationships. If you can, I think it would be good to try to address these issues before getting into a relationship.

[@angelflower176]

Bonga Ntombela ive done that already:)

[@ruby8901]

@angle flower Well first off everything before Jesus has been washed away. You are clean. Born again and loved. A real man of God will understand that and respect your testimony. I'm sorry to hear about your sibling and I'm glad to hear you have had counseling. The only thing you can do is have faith when it coming to telling them. However, I think you should wait until he ask you about your testimony (when yall both sharing it) or until yall have a good rapport. Im sure he'll have a past aswell. Oh watch Allyson Rowe oh KZbin and IG she came from a 7 year long abusive relationship and after about 6 years of waiting she's married to a great guy.

[@ngreat4390]

At what point is Charles going to tell us what broke his first marriage?

[@layanna4072]

I wonder if the men would talk to a woman they were not attracted to? Like Heather asked the ladies if they would talk to a man with a belly, would the men talk to a woman with a belly?

[@Mbuyiselo5]

Not these men Sis, they said last week that their type is “Fine and mature” there was a lot of emphasis on looks and physic. To Charles credit he did elaborate and say that part of the attraction was a beautiful spirit i.e a woman who was kind and sensitive to the needs of others. This whole podcast has left me worried about when Gods grace comes into play in Christian dating? Everyone is just on some I want a woman who is fine, I want a man who is 6.2 and buff in the chest. I understand everyone has their preferences but where is God in all of this. Honestly I think a lot of us are high key carnal Christians and are just not ready for Godly relationships like we claim.

[@sophia4christ]

Hmmm.... This love of a "type" is causing many women in Christendom to miss out on God's choice for them in marriage.

[@Angeleyes2222]

Yes Heather dating without a purpose....WASTE OF TIME! period.

[@niyawinchester]

Lol I think his name was Charles, He talks a good game but he giving me stress 😂😂😂

[@saysay1962]

This was very informative! Lol I agree with Brittany, and I agree with Agatha. Lol I totally get the two very different perspectives. Agatha is divorced, who knows the emotional and psychological impact being divorced has on her. So she don't want to just sit at home.(plus who knows how her ex-husband is going on with his life🤷🏾‍♀️)I know how it feels like to "hang out" with the opposite sex and not call it a date!(looking for companionship and tired of all the estrogen, just want a man around that i know i don't want to pursue a relationship with, just want to hang) the holy spirit will(if your willing to listen and submit your will) throw lots of flags on the play🤷🏾‍♀️(to send or not to send a text, to hang out or naw) the lord has sat me down so I totally get Brittany's point of view. Charles is interesting lol Women need to LISTEN!!! The man will say what he feels, take it for what he said! We women always want to change a niggahs perspective😒 if he lookin and your not A option but THE option move on hunty! They all have a sense of truth(their own truth), yet the honest way to really go about it is how much your life is submitted to the lord. The lord will give you all the green lights and red lights(if we choose to listen) on how to go about this dating thing or lack there of. The other young man who is courting and has had two called off engagements i applaud you on your perspective and how you have carried your self on the podcast! Alot of women don't believe men like you exist 💯 yell do tho lol On The real lol The women totally took over 😑🤨so it would be nice for the men to do an episode on their reactions of the conversation and vice versa👀 or just more of the men's perspective, we as women always talking about our opinions. Or a man is telling us how we feelin😳😒 ijs lol

[@thebeautystarlet]

This part: "it is about how much your life is submitted to the Lord." Everyone is in different places and in order to be able to hear the holy spirit speak to you, you have to have spent a certain amount of time listening and discerning his voice, and if you've done that you're submitted on a different level. I also think marriage should be less about what we want and more about what God wants to do through us, so if you're consulting yourself about what feels right to you in the situation, you're probably already on a strange foot.

[@saysay1962]

@@thebeautystarlet thats so true! Marriage can be perverted to idol worship. Its a beautiful covenant when we do it before God to honor God. Not our owe selfish desires. You've got to be submitted to the lord and follow the voice of the holy spirit. 💯

[@Angeleyes2222]

Charles.... GOD does NOT go off of the basis of human sense....It's HIS way...faith. You can make all the case of opinions you want HE Doesn't operate in that manner.

[@Angeleyes2222]

Ok Charles, manipulating the scriptures lol He who hath a ear listen....👀.....get em Brittany!!!