Why Do MEN FEAR Being AUTHENTIC?

[@ryaneddings7740]

“The desire to help liked limits the potential of really living.” I couldn’t have said it better. I am 27, and I cannot shake my fear of other people’s opinion and I can feel it sucking my soul away. Great advice! It is time to drop the act and finding new friends.

[@bhbr-xb6po]

Spot on. I have started noticing this a few years ago. All my male friends' conversations gravitate towards tech or politics, and they are rather talking at each other (about stuff they read on the internet) than with each other.

[@elvisquiff]

Really interesting conversation here Daniel. I’m a therapeutic radiographer and the biggest change I see in patients is once they have a sense of their own mortality it wakes something up in their brain to think “f**k it, I’m doing what I wanna do and screw anyone else” so I don’t necessarily think it’s an age thing (although most will hit this at 40 or so when we start to lose our parents) it’s more a “we have one life, so let’s live it”. It’s probably when we start to change things from what we were that leaves us open to the old “mid life crisis” term because we try new things. Great conversation though, Just try and care less in essence.

[@chrisormondroyd6468]

The beginning of this was great, all my lad friends do is joke around in a group. It’s rare outside of 1-1’s where the topic will get deep. Someone said to me the other day, ‘oh I think our group is pretty good at having conversations like that together’ and I was like, really? Thankfully guys (or at least me and my guy friends) are comfortable having meaningful conversations 1-1

[@midsonshort]

Yeah it’s a funny unspoken thing amongst men to keep it kinda surface level. Glad it resonated for you! 😊🙏🏻

[@lak1294]

I have been puzzled by this. 🤔 At my stage of life, I ONLY want to be authentic with everyone - friends, family (although trickier, given longtime family dynamics and triggers), work colleagues, and potential romantic partners. I'm no longer interested in playing games and wearing masks -- and more importantly, I no longer feel a need to do this whatsoever. At the beginning of this year, I started practising radical honesty. It's gone over surprisingly well, including in my workplace. People were startled at first, but then loosened up and became more authentic in turn. So it's fostered more honest discussion of issues and a greater sense of connection all around. 🙂 Also was very honest in response to a somewhat unusual personal encounter. I'm not entirely sure what the other person thinks, but I myself am comfortable in what and how I communicated, since it reflects my authentic self. They can take it or leave it. Far better than pretending to be something different, and then being unmasked later. This other person (a guy) did, in fact, wear a mask and when it slipped (inadvertently but inevitably), I was NOT PLEASED and MASSIVELY hurt. I immediately went into NC (no contact). If that person had been forthright from the start, the situation wouldn't have become the effing train wreck it turned out to be. 👿😡

[@lak1294]

So it's interesting you are saying men are inauthentic with other guys, not just women. It helps me to know that. 😯

[@devilsadvocacy]

I’m autistic, and “just be yourself” is by far the worst advice (if you can’t call it that) I’ve ever been given. By far. What I’ve been able to accomplish in life is a function of not “being myself”

[@nashwaans9649]

Hello guys I am a 18 year old and I feel really stressed and confused about choosing a career,so can anyone please give me some advice?

[@elvisquiff]

@@nashwaans9649 There is the element of do what you love and are interested in but also you have to look at what is around you and if there isn’t anything that interests you then you need to look at that as a factor. When I trained I fully expected to get a job locally so that was a factor. I was good at science, chatty, could talk for days and wanted to be around people so hence me finding radiotherapy. If you can just ask around for work experience where you live and see if anything springs to mind. Thats what I did, spent a week in a local hospital, one day on wards, one day with xray staff etc etc and that helped me. Good luck mate, take your time.

[@jonahodlozinski5336]

I’m a 24 year old engineer who could help. How are your grades? What do you like doing?

[@elvisquiff]

@@nashwaans9649 I did reply prior but it’s disappeared not sure why. Essentially find what you’re interested in/like to do and try and get some work experience with firms that may match even if just for a day or two. All the best

[@nashwaans9649]

@jonahodlozinski533 Bro can I send you a email about this?

[@nashwaans9649]

@jonahodlozinski5336 Bro can I send you an email?

[@theodorusrexicon5760]

Not being authentic is just weak.

[@midsonshort]

I’d say it takes time to build up the courage to become more authentic. 😊🙏🏻

[@theodorusrexicon5760]

@@midsonshort what is the alternative? Sanity dictates authenticity. ...and yes, it requires some courage.

[@midsonshort]

@@theodorusrexicon5760I’d say to do it by degrees - being too authentic tic too quickly can sometimes cause people to feel you are being confronting. Each person has to choose their own level and pace for being authentic. At least, that’s how I feel about it. 😊

[@theodorusrexicon5760]

Decorum is a learned skill. lol

[@edgartokman4898]

Nobody will be able to know who you actually are if you got away with a great mind....there are many things a person like that is good at ...you can take over the world all by yourself lol