Trans Youth: When Our Doctors Hurt Us

[@albedougnut]

My first experience with a doctor when trying to transition was an old guy who started touching my hair and face without my consent and calling me "such a pretty girl" when receiving blood work. I was transitioning to male, and I made it extremely clear that that was my intention, and I never went back to that clinic. If I had known just how inappropriate it was at the time, I would have reported him. It took me years to finally get the ability to go onto HRT, and I now have a wonderful doctor who not only helps me through my HRT care but is very diligent in ensuring that my health remains good.

[@squeenixu]

ew ew ew disgusting good thing you got a better doctor in the end man

[@omri10011]

sounds horrifying, wish you all the best.

[@lily_lxndr]

God that's awful, I'm sorry, I'm glad your new doctor is better

[@MossMothMyBeloved]

🤮

[@mparagames]

ew wtf

[@nukiradio]

Thanks for talking about this. It always angered me that people think doctors force people to transition when we literally have to BEG the doctors to listen to us.

[@tjenadonn6158]

@Ville No, thinking Jordan Peterson is anything more than a benzo-boofing bigot who doesn't know real science from his own sphincter is a phase. Being trans is no more a phase than being black. That or it's a long ass phase, given that April Ashley was in it from 1960 at the earliest to her death in 2021. Good luck finding anyone who still thinks JP is any well adjusted human being who still thinks JP is special after their 30s.

[@tjenadonn6158]

@@ZachStachelski13 sees "neocon" in your username. Realizes that even if I tried to tell you the truth you'd be unable to read it and just tell me to want more videos by Benzo Boy Peterson until I got fully decommunized. Seriously, why do you people come on here? We functional human beings don't go into conservative channels and and comment things that go against everything you disagree with, like "Women are humans who deserve control over their bodies" and "Sexual consent is important." Be less of a right wing shithead and more of a decent human being, and extend us the same courtesy. And congrats on the Alex Jones verdict: lovely to see one of the right's leading intellectual lights get his due.

[@margotpreston]

@@ZachStachelski13 Affirmative care is absolutely not the norm mate. WTF are you taking?

[@eternallustformedusa4844]

@@ZachStachelski13 making it illegal to abuse a child for their identity = forcing them to transition? what

[@BambiTrout]

@@ZachStachelski13 You have "dozens" of whistleblowers? What about the estimated 600,000 trans people in the UK who have NOT regretted their care. I hesitate to call people like Keira Bell liars, but I would like to question her own complicity in the transition process - or at least the complicity of her parents - because the vast majority of trans people have to jump through a LOT of hoops to prove to their doctors that they deserve access to treatment. According to Keira's own testimonies, she transitioned because she thought being a lesbian was amoral, and because two of her parental figures ASKED her if she wanted to be a boy. She then did her own research into FtM transition, assumed it would be the answer to all of her problems, and then told all of her family and her doctors that she needed to transition, she needed to be on hormones, she needed a breast removal, and she needed to be identified as a man. SHE drove her treatment, and then, on realising she "wasn't a man and never would be", she experienced transition regret, and sued the doctors for not ignoring her explicit requests. She goes on about her experiences in significantly more detail in her various testimonies, but the common thread is that because SHE made a mistake based on faulty information, she thinks that ALL trans children and teenagers should be banned from making that same mistake. It's classic paternalism - kids are too stupid to make decisions for themselves, therefore they hold no responsibility for their own fuck ups, and their parents are to blame for listening to their child and allowing their child to go ahead with something they have repeatedly and insistently stated is necessary for them. The frustrating thing is that Keira Bell WAS failed by her parents and Tavistock, but not for the reasons that she and many TERFs like to state. Keira was never pushed into transitioning - she explicitly says that she was the one driving the process. The issue was that she lacked a complete knowledge of her options, and an unhealthy understanding of both herself and lesbianism. She wrongly - FOR HERSELF - saw being a man as the only way for her to be attracted to women AND live an authentic life, because no one in her life actually took the effort to understand her complex feelings about gender and sexuality, or ensure she had all of the knowledge she needed to make this decision; they just took her at her extremely insistent word. For 8 years - including 2 years of initial appointments, 1 year of puberty blockers, 5 years of testosterone, a legal name change, and a double mastectomy - she insisted that transition was what she needed. You can say it was wrong in hindsight - but that seems like a BIT more than just a phase. The root of the problems with the now-defunct Tavistock system - and the reason why I can categorically state that Keira WAS failed by Tavistock despite completely disagreeing with her conclusions and proposed solution - is that Tavistock based its diagnoses and treatment almost EXCLUSIVELY on gender dysphoria, and how the patient interacts with other people, while more or less forgetting to check whether the patient genuinely wanted to transition - it assumed "I hate being a woman" was equivalent to "I want to be a man, and it assumed that trans people see transition as the solution to a problem, rather than a goal in itself. Both Keira Bell and Tavistock had a very binary and prescriptivist view of gender, in which you can be male or female, trans or not trans, pre-op or post-op. It meant that Keira was only presented with the option to stay unhappy as she was, or transition and hope that made her feel better. She wasn't excited to start hormones or have surgery; she just saw it as the (literally) straightest path to happiness - and as a trans person, I can assure you that that is a very unhealthy way to view your own transition. The thing is, even most trans people hated the Tavistock system, because it was slow, demeaning, restrictive, and run by people who didn't really seem to know or care what trans people actually wanted. It was designed to standardise the process as much as possible so you could just pump people in one end and get easily categorisable binary trans people at the end of it - ignoring individual needs. You either went through with it, or you didn't. It sucked, but it was most people's only option in the UK unless you had the money to go private - which is why happily trans people were reluctant to criticise it for fear of losing their only access to gender-affirming care. It's like how people in a company that underpays its workers rarely speak up, because they would rather be paid SOMETHING, than lose their job entirely. Keira Bell - in my eyes at least - seems like a closeted non-binary lesbian who was never made aware that that was a perfectly valid option - but it's not up to me to "diagnose" her. She can claim whatever label she wants for herself - whatever makes her happy. But she has to accept that she is a grown ass woman who is, and has ALWAYS been responsible for her own decisions. You can't live life assuming that you will always have a safety net - an adult in the room asking "Are you sure?", ready to take the wheel when they see you driving straight into traffic - and you cannot take that role for everyone else. Even as a child - we should not be training our children to believe that EVERY decision is reversible, and we should not be training our children to just go looking for someone else to blame the moment one of their decisions goes wrong. Own the mistake, accept the consequences, and work to fix it FOR YOURSELF - not for everyone else.

[@cooky2991]

I've only told 6 medical providers that I am trans, non-binary to be specific. The first one was an ObGyn. I told them that I am ace and sex-repulsed and will never have sex but would still like a permanent or semi-permanent contraceptive. They thought being asexual was being trans and were not at all perceptive to my wanting contraceptives to not have periods, which worsen my dysphoria horribly. She did not see it as healthcare she could understand, so it must not have been healthcare at all. The fact that I felt disrespected as a human being, let alone a trans and an asexual person made me never go back there. The next ObGyn I went to also didn't know how to deal with a trans person and couldn't offer any permanent or semi-permanent contraceptives due to my age, as it was not seen as a medical necessity and I did not have kids. The fact that I never want to have any biological children and the only way I would ever have them was against my will did not change this at all. I still have not found any Doctor who would help me in the way I want. I told my old family doctor, and she didn't even give an opening to talk about my transition plans at all. She also completely dismissed me when I said that I thought that I had ADHD and was autistic. Now I have been diagnosed with ADHD and told by these professionals that I was most likely also autistic, though they couldn't legally give that diagnosis because it wasn't part of their specialty. When I went to a new doctor with an acute breathing issue and mentioned that I was wearing a binder (which I had been doing for over a year) before the pain started as I use it to help me feel more comfortable as a non-binary person, I had to explain what non-binary meant, why I would wear "that way too tight bra" and never received any actual care, not even a listen with a stethoscope, during my visit. I am 95% sure that I had pleurisy, which can be deadly. I walked it off over the course of 2 months, regularly feeling a striking pain in my lungs and subsequent breathing issues because I didn't feel comfortable going to a doctor. My new GP is pretty okay, but I will only start talking about my transition plans when I can legally change my name and gender. They are aware that I am trans and use the right name and right-ish pronouns for me at least. The Nurse Practitioner I regularly talk to because of my ADHD diagnosis has used the right name for me since the beginning when I mentioned it and has been adjusting his pronoun usage in his recordings as time went on. I'm pretty sure he thinks that I am a trans man, but at least he got the trans-masculine part right. I don't mind he/him pronouns being used for me as it's a nice change of pace. So yeah... Generally, my experience with doctors at ages 18/19 has been a pretty shitty bag, but it's getting better. Probably helps that I look a lot more like I actually feel inside, sadly.

[@Roxanne13579]

Dutch transwoman here, and I've also had awful experiences during my own transition. Some of the 'highlights' include: - They tried to pin my dysphoria on my autism - They questioned the fact that I had what they called 'male interests' like gaming and lego and why I didn't feel like playing with dolls more - They sent me home initially and deemed me 'cured' because I did not get through the real life test at all without ever aiding me in this test whatsoever. - When I came back a year later, they basically wanted to start all over again from scratch with me. - When I finally managed to convince the previous therapist that I was ready, she went on maternity leave and I was given a new therapist. She ALSO wanted to start all over again from the very beginning. I only just managed to stop that from happening. - They deemed me too depressed to begin hormones. WELL, GOLLY GEE, I WONDER WHY I'M DEPRESSED. - When I finally did get hormones, they gave me a questionaire every three months to record my progress. The questionaires were targeted towards transmen and asked questions like 'do you find it difficult to present as a man?' - I asked about those questionaires and they said 'yeah, oops, we printed too many of these so you're gonna have to make do with these' - I was able to legally change my gender and name everywhere pretty easily. On my birth certificate, with the government, with my university, my bank, no problem. The only place that still had me under my old name and gender? The hospital where I was being treated. And this was all happening a few years ago. Judging from the stories I hear from trans friends, it's gotten worse, especially with waiting lists getting longer and longer.

[@Roxanne13579]

@Crabby Mc Cheez VUMC in Amsterdam

[@lynallott3404]

@venosa7649 The only time I can think of the being true, is when we (naively) assume that people always tell the truth like many of us tend to. And that's not our fault, alistic people can just be lying pieces of crap sometimes (I mean, so can we, I just hope less often).

[@maanvis81]

This is horrible, Roxanne. Incredibly horrible. I'm also from the Netherlands, but not trans, and losing my faith in trans healthcare, I think it's just badly organized and WPATH is not giving good standards for care that actually work. And then there's the problem with the big rise in people who want this care, and the care system simply not being able to keep up. These people don't grow on trees, and esp since the scandals in the UK and other countries, I think that almost no mental health professionals want to actually work in trans healthcare when it is influencd by activism (no other mental health sector has this incluence). VUMC being the initiator of trans care should be trusted.... but apparently they cant.

[@jamietherelentless2670]

That really sucks. I also go to the VUmc and my experience as a non-binary person was very different. I think it really depends on the psychologist you talk to. The one I talked really listened and actually helped me figure out what I really wanted, and so far my experience there has been quite positive. Although I must agree they do love pinning everything on autism.

[@OliverHatched]

Trans guy here. The surgeon who did my hysterectomy 1½ weeks ago agreed to team up with me to help educate trans masc folks about atrophy. She gave me her email and the plan is to do a presentation together at my local LGBT organization. Hopefully it pans out well. I've met some incredible doctors that genuinely care about trans people, but I've also encountered some very malicious care providers. (And I've filed a couple of grievances.)

[@lily_lxndr]

That's awesome. Keep up the good work

[@mackingcheeseinthemichaelwave]

I've tried to find the proper information about this but I've been very unsuccessful. Some people say that your organs can fall out if you get a hysterectomy, is that true? I don't know enough about atrophy, it's been worrying me a lot lately.

[@mackingcheeseinthemichaelwave]

Do you have good sources for this stuff, and if so can I please see them? I have a lot of questions

[@neuroatypicalkirby2]

congrats on your hysterectomy!

[@faith63011]

@@mackingcheeseinthemichaelwave I don't know the full details about hysterectomies, but atrophy mostly refers to the frontal genital opening/vagina. Once the vagina/frontal genital opening is no longer being prompted by estrogen to maintain itself, its tissues become drier, thinner, less elastic, and more fragile. This can increase the risk of daily discomfort, easier tearing, urinary tract infections, and uncomfortable intercourse. (There is vaginal cream to manage this.) As for hysterectomies, many trans people who choose to have their uterus removed also choose to have a vaginectomy, which removes the vagina and closes the opening. Your organs certainly wouldn't be falling out in that case. But even in cis women who have a hysterectomy and keep the vagina intact are unlikely to have significant symptoms from pelvic organ prolapse (POP) and their pelvic organs don't actually fall out, instead they just kind of press on the vaginal canal and urinary tract, so it can make urination and intercourse painful and perhaps cause some urinary incontinence. (As a side note: a lot of cis men have urinary incontinence and just wear absorbent underwear to reduce anxiety.) There is evidence that 2 out of 3 people who have given birth experience some form of POP but the majority have no negative symptoms and don't even realize it. In short, even if someone has POP, it may not affect them negatively, but it is a common condition in the general population, not just those who have had a hysterectomy. If someone hasn't given birth before, their risk of POP would be much lower, too.

[@zev8704]

i've experienced joy with healthcare at a nonprofit clinic that used to be local to me (they since moved to another state), who specifically treated uninsured and undocumented people. i first went to the clinic half-heartedly thinking about starting HRT, not looking forward to having to fight with providers and all that; after my first appointment, they had me out the door with a hormone prescription. the doctor i met with was trans himself and the clinic did informed consent. i was like, put into a daze by how much they respected my experiences. i didn't have to argue with anyone or make my case, i just told them i was interested in HRT, they asked me about my life history a little bit and gave me the informed consent sheet and that was it. as a multiply marginalized trans person i have an extreme phobia of clinics and medical/mental health professionals, and my experiences as a patient at the community clinic helped me understand what healthcare *could, should* be like. i was still a bit nervous to go each time ofc, but i was excited to see the people i knew there (esp since it involved people from the community - there were other LGBT volunteers there who actually felt like friends), and my doctor's bedside manner was always stellar. he was the closest a doctor could be to being a friend while of course still being your doctor. the walls were plastered with posters containing information about public health specific to migrant and LGBT communities, anti-war slogans, "no one is illegal"... they weren't afraid to be political because it was woven into their existence as a clinic for the politicized. they even provided trainings for protest street medics. i am so sad they had to move, but i will treasure the memories of this clinic for the rest of my life and i can only hope i see more community efforts like these in the future. its certainly inspired me.

[@lily_lxndr]

Wow, this rules! I want to hear more stories like this!

[@acornlocktinaice934]

Yes I want to a LGBTQ friendly clinic and I felt so comfortable with the people there. Got a great psychiatrist and just started hrt.

[@gabrielraphael8084]

wow! where was this? I want to go.

[@marshmallow4159]

I was 28 when I wanted to start transitioning. Even at that age all this rings very close to home.

[@sallyb8360]

I was 16 because before I didn't know transiting was possible, but didn't start until I was 21. Now I regret it even if at 16 puberty was done..

[@sallyb8360]

I tried to tell it to a psychiatrist at 16 in 2013 but he didn't help me. Also I'm French so it was even less common at the time to talk about trans issues in this country compared to other countries

[@SuperRobinDX]

Good stuff. I had to switch my PCP to Planned Parenthood because virtually every "normal" doctors office proved to be an incredibly awful experience.

[@ravenwolfkittyface1802]

I beelined to PP to do all my trans-related healthcare and OBGYN services because I feared exactly that.

[@melissasylvest365]

As an ( elder queer) I feel like I failed all current LGBTQ youth because of how things are now. But for what it's worth I'm still here. I see you and I will fight for you beyond the grave.

[@lily_lxndr]

It's not your fault

[@babs_babs]

you didn’t fail us. not even close

[@myself387]

This is quite a late response, but I just felt like I had to say it. Under no circumstances should you think that you somehow failed us. Elder queers like yourselves have accomplished so many incredible things. It is thanks to you that life is better for us than when you were young. The healthcare systems wouldn't have changed no matter what you did. There are so many people who hate us, so many people who want to prevent any progress for us, that it doesn't matter how much you and the entire community did; there would still be enough pressure from transphobes and enough bad faith arguments and enough people raised with prejudice against us that the healthcare wouldn't have improved. We owe you and your generation thanks for everything you managed to accomplish despite everything. No matter how much you managed to accomplish, there would always be some things that didn't change, and you would always feel like you "failed" us for one reason or another. You couldn't have ever managed to make every change we needed, and you achieved so much for us. I guess I'm trying to say thank you

[@marl3ymarl3y86]

A really harmful KZbin video short was recommended it to me (it was from Matt Walsh’s “What is a woman” “documentary”). In the video, a trans man goes over how his medical providers, one of which provided his bottom surgery, have put him in harms way multiple times, and that his life will probably be very short. I felt incredibly bad for him, especially because he goes onto say he will never be a true man no matter how he tries. In the comments, because his story was being told through the lens of Walsh, people were misgendering him and just suggesting trans-related healthcare was unnecessary and that “evil people are doing this thing to children too”. I’m glad that you are able to give insight into how vulnerable trans people are to the medical system from our perspective, without demonizing and patronizing us. Thank you for these great videos.

[@lunawolfheart336]

Ugh that's so frustrating. I hate mats guys for tricking trans people into interviewing for that stupid propaganda. That's right I can't even call it a document it's flat out propaganda. It's frustrating because I'd love to get my story out there but now if that opportunity comes if probably opt out unless it's someone I know because I don't trust people to treat my story with respect

[@jackie9600]

Can we agree that the body responds to different things differently and some of us will be ok but some of us will have complications from the same procedure? Some ppl have horror stories. It’s simply a fact

[@loldiers3238]

KZbin's algorithms CONSTANTLY push reactionary propaganda.

[@Worlds-Collide]

Walsh is nothing but a political activist seeking fame. Hes no dr or anything

[@jamiel6005]

I’m from the U.K., so this isn’t 100% applicable, but thank you for bringing awareness. I remember getting our version of child protective services called to my house and having meetings with a social worker in my home with my parents when they found out I had gone to private doctors for HRT, even though I passed all the age restrictions fully. And this was done by my family doctor who I trusted fully and was totally supportive. I cannot imagine how it will be when I have to meet a stranger who works at a notoriously transphobic institution, after an up at 7 year wait - of course I will age out of the system, and see adult services after a few years.

[@spliffyrodgers4266]

If I'm not mistaken Canada's healthcare system is similar to ours so I think that would be applicable

[@icravedeath.1200]

Is the NHS transphobic? (I'm pre-op, so I have no first hand experience).

[@multiverseone8115]

​@@icravedeath.1200 It is. Very.

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@multiverseone8115 oh ok, should I try private specialists then?

[@multiverseone8115]

@@icravedeath.1200 Maybe, altho I'm no expert as I'm still closeted (I do identify as a demigirl, but I have a separate channel my parents don't know about for that, as well as many online accounts)

[@user-jp1uv2no4k]

love the meme of "i know more than you" really captures my feelings when talking to my doc. this video really makes me feel less alone and weird also because i fall into those 2%s. i remember nearly crying actually when i had to do a "physical examination" to prove i was really a "trans girl" which was wrong is so many ways. im not even a girl either! im nonbinary! they couldnt even get that part right... i shouldnt have to "prove" anything. and especially not when i was a child still. oh well, its in the past now.

[@libration1164]

Its because of all this that, when I came out at 16, after talking to an utterly horrible psychologist (One who garnered some infamy in Ontario. Repeatedly misgendered me, told my mother he felt I was "Just gay" and so on...) I promptly went back into the closet and just sort of pretended my transness wasn't real. Low and behold...about a week after my 25th birthday, I started HRT and, after eight months I can say with confidence that I'm so glad I did (Not to say one has to be on HRT to be trans, of course). Just wish that psychologist hadn't got in my way all that time ago! Thankfully said psychologist was fired, which I took as a sign that perhaps things are changing for the better. Excellent video/series, Lily! ^^

[@amyj4106]

I'm going to guess Kenneth Zucker? wow so glad you're doing great now!

[@JadeStone00]

We got incredibly lucky with our pediatrician. My boys have been going to her since birth. She had a baby after I had my first child but before I had my second, so she was always close to the same stage of parenting that I was. When we took my younger son to talk to her about being trans, the doc disclosed that her daughter is trans, and she was able to give us a referral and advice, not just from a doctor's perspective, but from the heart of a trans-affirming parent. I still can't believe our luck.

[@miss_editor]

Transwoman who started transition at 25 just before the "tipping point". Didn't have a primary care doctor, but was followed by a doctor at a university clinic. She was nice but had no idea about anything and refused to help with HRT, she did give me a rec to an Endo eventually. I went to an endo known to treat trans women. Older man, who told me "This is the dosage that all transwomen use. Lots of people find this hard, but if they want it enough it works and if they don't maybe they were wrong about wanting this." The high level of anti-androgen he immediately put me on resulted in a 6 month suicidal depressive spiral, I couldn't get off the couch, I burst into tears at trying to do anything. I eventually managed to get recommended to a primary care doctor known for also having an endo background and being a trans affirmative provider by my therapist. Had to stop hormones completely for 6 months to reset my levels. I thank fuck every time I need to interact with the medical system that I was so lucky to get onto my PC's list when I hear from friends who are stuck, the way I was, with someone who is unwilling to help or is borderline dangerous in their approach.

[@lily_lxndr]

Oh my goodness. I had the same experience with my first hormone doctor - for 4 months they had me only on t-blockers and nothing else, and it made me incredibly depressed. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and so glad you got out of that situation.

[@SpyderGirl363]

"Tipping point?"

[@MouseAndShiraz]

The first (and only) time I went to a healthcare professional about trans issues - in this case my family doctor - I told him I was trans, I asked if he could refer to me to anyone, and he kinda looked confused and said no, he didn't know anyone. He had nothing else to say on the subject, other than asking a question or two about my sex life. And so I went home feeling embarrassed. Later on I would learn that he turned into a rightwing nutjob. I am grateful, I suppose, that I went to him about it probably before he knew enough to be a bigot to me directly. But that experience basically told me that there wasn't help out there. If I couldn't trust the doctor I'd been seeing my whole life, who could I trust? Who could I go to? Fast forward ten years, and I am basically living life as non-binary, but still consider myself a trans woman. I wonder how my life might have been different if my doctor had cared enough to even try to get me to a doctor who knew something - anything - and was supportive.

[@amethepotato9436]

As a 16yo closeted trans girl this kinda freaks me out but I can’t mentally afford not doing it, so I’m going to push through Also trans rights 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[@DrTssha]

Just remember, real courage is being scared but doing it anyway.

[@amethepotato9436]

@@DrTssha thank you 🥰

[@transrightsbaybee]

trans rights !

[@mparagames]

@@DrTssha idk, i don't see myself as very brave

[@tylerjoseph7411]

I think that now that you have been warned, you'll be careful enough and ready to advocate for yourself 👍

[@wavystormy]

My current doctor is very dismissive of my physical and mental wellbeing, they make jokes about my depression and suicide attempt. I had to make the choice to leave this doctor or stay in order to continue my path for trans-affirming healthcare. My intake is on the 25th this month. I choose to stay because even though these behaviors are harmful I know that transitioning is what I want the most, heck what I need the most right now. The night my mom told me she was going to help me get top surgery I could barely sleep, I stayed up all night binging video essays, vlogs, anything I could find on the internet about the process and aftermath. I've had these exact same thoughts and feelings about the healthcare system but every time I've brought it up it's always been dismissed or I've been told "That's just how it is". I'm sending these videos to my parents, friends, everyone I know basically. Thank you for making this.

[@IAmNumber4000]

Planned Parenthood was a godsend. I was able to get HRT in about a week with only a single informed consent clinic. And even then, as soon as I realized what I needed to do, I was practically counting down the minutes until I could start. I can’t imagine how painful waiting 6 months or longer would be.

[@namixless9732]

i had to wait years but i started it exactly on my 18th birthday. what sucked was even though i had guardian permission and a therapists note to start testosterone the insurance company and doctors wouldnt let me start unless i was 18.

[@IAmNumber4000]

@@NotALotOfColonial_SpaghettiToG Cost $150 for a visit with a nurse, bloodwork cost something like $50 but I don’t remember exactly how much it was. Spiro cost $20 a month for pills, estradiol $20 a month for sublingual tablets. Pretty sure injectables are $40 a month for estradiol. This is all without insurance

[@strawberrystarburstbuthuman]

is there a planned parenthood in the uk?

[@IAmNumber4000]

@@strawberrystarburstbuthuman I don’t think they do informed consent for HRT in the UK. Think you still need to go through a primary care physician.

[@strawberrystarburstbuthuman]

@@IAmNumber4000 god damn it only about 9 years to go lmao

[@NoirRaven]

Not trans but lemme tell you, there's no oversight in the Canadian medical industry. I've been gaslit, assaulted, ridiculed, laughed at and had my health issues undermined to the point of near hospitalization. I tried reporting the doctors responsible and they'd stop listening to me the moment they spoke to their "fellow professional." There's no agency making sure these people are held accountable, especially in the psych' field.

[@davidcrawford9026]

Why do so many queer people fall over themselves to defend therapy? All they do is aid in silencing it's victims. I have no community

[@Spottedleaf14]

thank you for sharing this

[@lily_lxndr]

Thank you, Jasper

[@tylerscott8015]

This speaks so much to my own experiences as a canadian youth trying to transition. There was only 1 counsellor in my region (an island) that was able to "sign off" on my gender assessment so that I could start hormones. I was expecting someone who would be knowledgeable and empathetic to trans experiences but that was not what I got. I spent most of my sessions explaining and teaching her concepts she didn't seem familiar with at all, and she seemed more interested in talking about and pathologising my sexuality (asexual), even telling me she wanted me to come to several extra sessions so she could learn more about it, which essentially delayed my treatment. She also pushed really hard to get me to freeze my eggs and even brought it up to my mother after I said over and over again that I wasn't interested. In the end it took nearly 6 months to get her to finally sign off on my assessment, and in her official letter she misgendered me :/ That was about 7-8 years ago now and I'm confident that a lot has improved, but it was super frustrating as a 17 year old having to teach the "professional" who stood between me and my treatment. I'm 25 now and in case anyone was curious, I'm still asexual, still don't want kids, plus I've got a pretty sweet beard now ✌

[@kiren3168]

Healthcare professionals definitely can be biased and bigoted. I can't imagine how hard it is to be trans seeking healthcare.

[@nickonerd]

That wasn't your fault for not knowing it was abuse then, it was definitely an issue with his position and you still being young... so sorry that happened.

[@HalfBananaWoman]

As someone who wants to become a physician, this has given me a lot to think about in terms of how I can give my patients the best care and do my part to improve the system

[@thekoopaguymk]

I just watched the first 2 parts and you uploaded this one while I was watching, nice. This is a great series, hopefully it reaches a much wider audience and inspires similar research in other parts of the world, so that trans people can finally get the healthcare they need

[@lily_lxndr]

It's all for you Koopa Guy

[@PumkRock]

I'm relatively lucky with my doctor. I've recently begun to pursue medical transition in the UK- I knew that the NHS segregates us and puts us on waiting lists that last 5-7 years. I know it's essentially a dead end, everyone knows it's essentially a dead end. Every other transfem I've spoken to about HRT essentially opens with "so what kind of DIY are you looking into?". The only trans people I have spoken to who tell me DIY is a bad idea have been older transmasc people, and I think that's just down to the fact that T is actually legally regulated and restricted in ways oestrogen isn't. But I thought it was important to get that ball rolling in the background, I know that if/when I eventually set foot in a GIC- I'll have already been self medicating for half a decade, but at least I'll know that I wont be doing it alone forever, and I held onto some vague hope my GP would help in auxiliary ways. The system was predictably unhelpful, but my doctor? she was amazing. I don't perfectly pass- but it's kind of glaringly obvious when you look at me that I'm not a cis man. The moment I entered her office, She profusely apologised for using my distinctly masculine full name- instead of the gender neutral short version, to call me in the waiting room. She listened sympathetically to my very TL;DR account of how I realised I was trans- and when she warned me about the waiting lists... she did so in a very "but, of course, you already know this" kind of way. She offered to immediately completely rewrite my NHS ID to reflect my new name and gender, offered to do everything she was *allowed* to do for me. She directed me to local LGBT support groups, even sent me information on private care. I got very emotional while talking about how I felt. Through tears I said "I know I must look delusional to everyone, talking about how I know I'm a woman when I'm "obviously a man" "That's not true" she said, using my future name- despite it currently having no legal basis. "You look like a woman to me" And then she surprised me. I straight up told her my intention was to DIY, and asked her if she would help me get bloodwork done so I could do this as safely as possible. She basically did the "I'm sorry ma'am I know you are upset!!!" scene from the Incredibles- performatively told me I absolutely should not be doing this- all the while composing and printing me a bloodwork form tailored to getting my baseline unmedicated hormonal information, with promises of future forms that would help me monitor the things I would need to keep an eye on as I progressed through DIY HRT. Because of her- I can move past laser hair removal and dressing up. I can start transition for real, the moment I tie up the last few loose ends attached to the man I used to be- I can start the moment my Oestrogen arrives in the post- safe in the knowledge that I can mitigate the risks as much as possible.

[@twiggy_being]

every episode has made me both more hopeful and more nervous... but i cant say that thats a bad thing. i really apreciate you sharing all this information lily! thanks

[@lily_lxndr]

Thank you!

[@wakingcharade]

i have made a comment on a previous video about the similarities between living with chronic illness and pain or neurodivergence when navigating the world (and how this overlap makes the large overlap between all these communities fascinating and logical) - and with all the disclaimers that I'm not saying transness is either of these things - just that the world seems similarly designed to deny, abuse, mistreat and prolong suffering. And I think the video citing an article written by someone navigating these systems with chronic pain really speaks to that. Everything in this video I have heard from autistic people and from people with the cluster of chronic conditions doctors seem to almost enjoy belittling. I think all of these movements could benefit a lot from working together to get the reforms that would help everyone - and short of that - increase patient empowerment for at risk people forced to navigate a system built to make it hard to survive, let alone thrive. These struggles are deeply interconnected (and very much overlapping, in terms of population).

[@Correctrix]

I was assaulted by a GP in my first year of transition. It wasn't even sexual: he was just a Jesus-freak and felt the need to physically eject me (to get his power back) when I announced I was leaving due to his disrespect. Indeed, my earliest memory in life is of a doctor manhandling my slightly abnormal genitalia as an infant. I don't remember much else that young, but the searing pain made it an indelible memory. I recall later fearing it would be done again or that they'd operate. These days, I have to see doctors all the time for my migraines, musculo-skeletal pain, paralysis, etc., and it is always traumatic. I'd gladly do away with these people altogether. Surgeons and paramedics are needed, but most doctors seem to spend their days belittling and hurting everyone who isn't a cashed-up, healthy, white, cis-het man. Doctors are prescription pads imbued with ego and malice. Like cops, they form a section of a social class with special legal privileges over us mere civilians, to violate our bodily autonomy. I believe they should be abolished in their current form.

[@blake6221]

20 yr old transmasc from Australia here, and trying to find a doctor in my area to do trans stuff was certainly a ride lol... funniest experience that I remember, when I was 18, I got my mum to ask at the desk after her appointment about any doctors in the area that had trans knowledge, and she came home with a name scribbled on a card. The surname seemed strangely familiar to me, and so I asked a transmasc friend of mine and it was literally his mum, who specialises in something completely different and v specific and they just recommended her bc she has a trans son LMAO

[@PlatinumAltaria]

My GP has basically said I just... can't get a blood test. I guess we're just allowing them not to do their jobs because trans people are scary.

[@saml.purecats4695]

Incredible work from all of you. I felt so seen. 💜

[@fawnalove7569]

I'm so sorry 😔 thankyou for making this video. I started medical transition at 19 at my first appointment after 1.5 years wait, the psychologist asked to see old pictures of me(before social transition), I left in floods of tears and found out the same woman had asked people 'whats your real name' etc. For that reason I filed a complaint, the woman flipped round her questioning when asked for her side, so the complaint was rejected and I was basically told get over it, we have to ask 'difficult' questions. I was referred to a so called gender specialist doc at the same clinic and he asked me why my hair (a men's cut that had become a little bit shaggy) was so long and feminine and why I was wearing a 'low cut women's floral blouse' (a men's Hawaiian shirt with a concealed binder.) With the implication that I wasn't enough for hormones. Another doctor wrote a letter about me changing the pronouns between he and she four times every sentence. I recently had top surgery and the anaesthetist was misgendering me and the other patient while waiting to go into the theatre...this was all while I flattened myself into the most 2d, binary, traditionally masculine person I could for the appointments because I was suicidal without treatment. And that still wasn't enough. This started after the 'tipping point' year- now other trans ppl are waiting 3 years to be seen for the same services. Meanwhile the press talks about how we are pressured into this and get surgeries overnight. 💔

[@chippzy]

I'm from Czechia(Czech Republic). They're called "sexuologists" here. Basically lumping us under the umbrella of sexuality. I was asked what I imagine when masturbating, what my orientation is, and was basically told "think about it some more". what I got out of that was a prescription for different SSRIs with awful withdrawal effects, that ironically enough, made it harder for me to have sex. Anyway I am on DIY HRT for 2 months and it is going well lol

[@HirZheIs]

Yeaaaaa my experience with doctors as a trans person legit traumatized me, I live in brazil now and have free healthcare but find myself freezing with any questions or pushback, incapable of advocating for my own medication. Fortunately with an amazing bi-lingual partner to help advocate for me She's still utterly shocked that I hadn't been to the doctor in a decade, but I think seeing how the first doctor treated me when trying to get my medication, or learning about the abuse I faced by doctors fairly regularly. Making me strip or go through frivolous physical exams. bringing in other doctors to stare at my body. An odd parallel to the way I was treated when I was arrested pre-surgery but post social transition. Stripped and mocked by a room of men loudly shouting my deadname and mockingly using my actual name, in front of the entire population in clear hopes someone would do something. Being mistreated is a when not an if ime. Whether by people who mean you harm or health

[@androart1817]

I wish I had a 6 month wait. In the uk the wait is 3+years. They are currently giving first appointments to people who joined the list the start of 2018. I’ve already waited more than a year

[@butallislost]

Trust me, it isn't a 6 month wait in all of Canada! I was on the wait list for 2 years, but I was actively looking for places that do HRT 2 years before that but couldn't find literally anything.

[@androart1817]

@@butallislost I’m stuck trying to find someone who can diagnose me so I can get hormones privately

[@101spacemonkey]

The theme of medical abuse hits close to home. I fear telling them I use she/they as I live on terf island and the nearest dr for this is known to be handsy and assaulted a friend (he is still working)

[@junelogalbo9740]

American here, I got put on a 6 month version of the real life test before I could even start, and when I finally could start at 17.5 they began me on a small fraction of regular adult doses. My doses have since increased 6 fold to get me into proper ranges. Right now I’m in limbo land because my provider left the clinic with little to no heads up, and the closest appointment I could get was half a year out so I’m practically managing my hrt by my self in the interim. There needs to be greater lgbtq healthcare infrastructure put in place.

[@diabolickevin]

I'm 23 currently, but turning 24 later this year, and this happened last year so I was 23 still. I got my transition progress halted for a year (rn it's looking like over a year...), because I'm too immature and need to grow up. It's extremely insulting to be treated like that because I'm young, I'm still an adult.. Doesn't help that I'm on autism spectrum

[@diabolickevin]

@@UncommonDabfish not, and unfortunate to hear that this is so common experience

[@gethelp6271]

Have you ever listened to Drama of the Gifted Child by Miller? Its here on youtube.

[@diabolickevin]

@@gethelp6271 sorry but how is that relevant?

[@gethelp6271]

@@diabolickevin Something about the way you expressed yourself made me think it might be helpful to you.

[@dot4562]

"Free" health care in Canada is a joke. Don't get me wrong, it IS important to have free health care, but it's also important to have GOOD free health care. We have a tremendous way to go to better our health care system

[@mr.x2567]

Wait till you see America’s healthcare system.

[@Ashandonyx]

@@mr.x2567 Being better than the US medical system is unfortunately a low bar. Canada could do far better than it currently does.

[@kingryuuka7018]

Sometimes I forget I'M the trans youth who doesn't have access to proper medical care and who doesn't live in a safe enviornment (TW: transphobia and parental abuse yay, my parents are playing with the idea of kicking me out once I'm 18 unless I go to conversion therapy-) I constantly get misgendered by my docters, and my parents sit right there and use it as an excuse to misgender me right back. They say it's my fault because I don't look enough like a man so I deserve it. They say they will put it in the system every time, and never do. Some doctors even humor my parents wanting to put me in literal conversion therapy (like, my dad will say to them "See I want a therapist that isn't going to tell this kid it's trans, I want one that won't force their ideology onto my kid. See some people who think they are trans go to therapy, become content with the gender they are assigned at birth, and stop being trans" which is... not a backed up study that has been debunked by this point? like not factual at all- stop telling doctors you want to send me to a therapist that will gaslight me into detransitioning.) The doctors just sit there an nod and say "I see, I understand." HOW????? I one time came into the doctors office for a problem with my cest, and I was like, "I wear a binder, I try to bind safely, but maybe it's causing the problem or making it worse?" And the doctors literally couldn't answer my question AT ALL. Why. I'll be 18 soon... And I won't be that 14 year old boy who gets misgendered by everyone and told it's his fault no one sees him as a boy. I have to do so much research on my own because everyone around me seems to lack the media literacy needed to dissect and deconstruct the misinformation they've been given (or simply fact check it) All the transphobia I've faced has been slowly blocked out of my brain for my own sake.

[@guy84838]

me and a friend had to stop someone minutes before their appointment because we realized something wasn't right. we heard later that apparently the doctor "would do a physical exam" and "tell you who you really are". i'm so glad that person didn't go and is safe. it's bone chilling to think about, be careful out there.

[@amandacapsicum686]

Thank you for making this. It happened to me too when I was 18. Dr Leighton Seal (at the adult NHS GIC in London) is a creep who hides behind the language of medicine. I was given no indication that what I went through was optional or something I had the right to withdraw consent to. Looking back on the experience, it was because I am intersex, but I didn't realise that at the time and they didn't tell me. I feel used. This was 10 years ago now. I warn everyone I can.

[@Ross-cecil]

I come from a family very familiar with this sort of crappy medical care when it comes to disability. When I started to transition, my medical issues were actually much easier to deal with than my brother's, but that says more about disability care than trans related care. Still being "the easy child" made it incredibly hard to recognize when I was being mistreated by doctors or ended up making me gaslight myself I to thinking it was fine. "this feels wrong, but it's nothing like the care my brother has been getting for years so it must not be that bad"

[@EllieFeyFox]

This series honestly has me excited and looking forward to each next episode, good work Lily!

[@skylarharrison7749]

I am still terrified of having my HRT taken away from me every time I go to the doctor, I am also afraid of getting mental health treatment and being diagnosed with a mental illness because I've heard so many times that if I get diagnosed with one they can and most likely will take my HRT away permanently, maybe this is an irrational fear but it feels rational to me.

[@TheKally]

In my mid twenties. Sweden. Took several years for me to finally get through the "consultancy" phase. I had sent a direct letter to the clinic that handled trans issues in my local area. Rather than go to a doctor/psychologist who would likely be uninformed on the subject and make it take even longer. What followed was a single meeting at the clinic (after a year?) with the doctor that would now be my main doctor. He asked some pretty weird questions. But i bit through it and just answered. I made sure to answer all the old fashioned "what was your childhood like/ what toys did you play with" with the answers they expected of. As being "honest" about me being depressed my entire childhood and playing with "stereotypically boys toys" would likely have caused them to deny my application (lol) for a prescription. que radio silence for another year. Then another meeting with more similiar questions. Some about family life, which the way it was asked, made me feel like answering that my family was anything but supportive would cause them to slow the process even more than it already was. So i just left it at "we agree to disagree" at my family. Which seemed to be good enough to move forward. Que more radio silence for 6 months. Then another meeting. Then more radio silence of 6-12 months then another meeting. Took some blood tests. Then finally got the final meeting with the first doctor again. made some weird comments again (lol) then gave me my prescription. I was offered to get the anti androgen injection at the clinic, which i accepted. But then found out it cost about 200 euro. Which i didnt have at the time (lol broke and jobless freelancer) . Getting card declined was embarrassing but whatever. had to wait another month to order it into my home town. And luckily it does get cheaper when you keep buying it. Since the injection is to the butt, i needed to have it done by a nurse. Trying to get a local clinic to do it got me declined several vague reasons (i wonder why lol C: ). Until i got lucky with doing it with the official one instead. (the nurse did not know what the injection was for, maybe thats why they accepted so readily). At least now i have my prescription and can order stuff home. Getting an injection every 3 months is annoying but its worth it. For estrogen i just get gel packs. I am also getting free laser hair removal and voice lessons from this, so thats nice. All in all, the weird gatekeeping and absurd wait times really suck. but at least i finally am getting most everything i need. And i can even refill my prescription by messaging them online. So i only need to meet the odd doctor once a year. Not sure why i wrote all this lol. Just kind of wanted to emphasize that no matter how long it takes, if you stick to it you can get it. Just make sure to play along with their old fashioned stereotypes and be straight to the point. I hope this is helpful to someone at least.

[@harperna3938]

i'm lucky to have found a handful of very supportive doctors throughout my transition (mainly through some very trans-positive therapists) even in reactionary republican gerrymandered-to-hell north carolina, although i was definitely post-pubescent when i started. i also didn't go all the way (surgically, at least), if that makes sense, since my ultimate goal was that kind of idealized notion of classical androgyny (look no further than murals and sculptures of hermaphroditus to see what i'm talking about). my genital dysphoria has always been pretty thankfully mild, too.

[@Noah60]

i have autism, and my mom and social workers and doctor where dismissing of my transness and didnt believe me because i have autism and they thought it was just because of my autism i was trans and i would regret it. meanwhile i had been fighting to be able to transition but ik i dont tell my doctor i am depressed bc of my gender dysphoria bc i cant take it taking longer, even months are alot, bc i fear it would mean she would make it hard for me to transition bc im mentally unwell but im mentally unwell because of my dysphoria and my need of transitioning. im 24 and a trans masc, and my health providers, doctors and all, still infantileze me because of my autism, even if before they had no clue i was, i saw a big difference once i got my diagnosis

[@1Hawkears1]

Haven't watched yet but for me it's, 1- fuck with the only provider offering this care? 2- let them be kinda shit to me because no options

[@lily_lxndr]

Yeah, you’ve got it right :(

[@PicassosSister-rj5zp]

Thank you for being on KZbin. We really need an advocate, and you're really helping us. I feel understood when I watch your videos.

[@draculxxx1194]

In my state anyone under the age of 18 is legally not allowed to go on hormones PERIOD not even if a parent consents and I've been birthnamed every time I go to the hospital or therapy no matter what I say it's painful to say the least

[@ch5rry240]

Here in the Netherlands we have good trans healthcare, except that you can get hormones after 16. I (and many other trans people under that age) have called the government out to change that, but out voices aren’t being heard. This is really frustrating since i have to go through most of secondary school (kind of high school in the Netherlands) without remotely passing.

[@sarahelizabeth7638]

It's a hard thing to be stuck in the position of protecting an abuser because they provide a necessary service. However, it is important to consider how much damage these providers can cause and it may escalate the more invulnerable they feel. I jlike seeing lists created on Facebook that have been passed around about safe and affirming provision. Encourage good providers to be trained in respect of our needs. When I first came out, I created an idetnification card for my wallet that included name, dob, prescriptions, gender identity, photo, etc. so that, if I were unable to talk for myself, I could [hopefully] get proper care. Thank you for pointing out you are speaking from your own persepctive. I Would love to see a Transcare site seperated by therapy, psychiatry, surgery, general medical, and OBGYN, etc. However, I would be concerned it may be used to fight us, somehow.

[@cowboycat6904]

it's hard having to come to terms with how rough trans healthcare is here, but im glad that i have. especially since im going to be starting the process to get hormones soon thank you for this series, it has been very informative :]

[@aliceslab]

all my experiences have been through video exams. i went through planned Parenthood when i was 25 and my first session involved being made fun of basically. like some of the workers i could see smiling or holding back laughs. as if it was ridiculous that i was who i am because of how i looked back then. it wasnt a good start and it made me uncomfortable and very low self esteem thinking maybe i cant be happy because what if i just look absurd and everyone's reaction will always be this. but i kept going and eventually my team of doctors changed out and they are nicer. much more welcoming and made me feel comfortable. a lot of the times our ability to not be made fun of depends on how good we look, which is toxic. you already have an uncomfortable and stressful condition now they want to add social pressure onto it making our lives even harder. we have to look like super models to be valid yet cis people can look like trash and are still validated. well no one looks like trash everyone is beautiful or handsome but you know what i mean.

[@jsmilz86]

I went to pp first, then I got a physician. I was her first tran patient and it was a breathe of fresh air with her. She is amazing. She didnt know anything about transitioning, the doctor before taught her the basics amd she also does her own research I love her! She helps with ins, name change, surgery she now have alot of resources. Definitely helped get the ball rolling

[@Fawkes1978]

Thank you and the team for the whole series of videos and you will surely be missed during a well deserved rest...

[@lunaumbra5179]

I'm an unlucky who's medical conditions are made worse by hrt. And because of this I basically seek doctors who will let me do whatever I want so I might have a chance of finding the best mixture of meds. Year 8 on hormones and I'm still searching.. I'm just lucky I learned how to self advocate and not insult the doctors.

[@tungstendeliz4960]

One time I broke my arm in two places, near the wrist. I walked into the hospital using my good hand to basically hold my wrist together and keep the hand from just dangling painfully. As I was holding my own bones together, I had to waste time explaining my name and pronouns, because the person working at the front desk didn't understand trans people. I'm pretty easygoing and didn't (and still don't) feel mad about it, but I'm lucky that two nurses DID understand and hurried things along by being like "just type [deadname] in the system and call her [preferred name]." Everyone besides that one person was wonderful, and made a very difficult night of my life easier.

[@sophiatrocentraisin]

It's weird how in France most of this video hits very close to home (though our WPATH equivalent is waaay worse, and waaay more hated)

[@rpower204]

I live in Ireland so efficient trans healthcare is even more scarce here. The thought of not being able to report malpractice due to lack of resources is awful. When you spoke about not reporting that doctor it got me thinking. If my endo lost his job for what ever reason, thousands of us would go without care. There's maybe only two other endos in the country who treat trans people. (There used to be another one in Northern Ireland but It's very difficult to get in with them now because of Brexit.) Aside from my endo, there's one private one (who is very expensive) and a public one (who works in Loughlinstown.) Loughlinstown is notoriously bad at treating trans people, they have extensive, intrusive questionnaires and a waiting list of up to 10 years. I know of so many trans people here who've turned to black market hormones because of how lengthy and expensive the process is. To rub salt in the wound, there’s also no surgeons in the whole country who do top surgery for transmasculine people.

[@jakeyankogray7119]

Even tho I live in a very homophobic and transphobic country I was able to access my hormones surprisingly easy. I got my appointment with psychiatrist the same day I applied for it and immediately got my permission to start HRT. Same story with endocrinologist with the only exception that I had to wait for my prescriptions to arrive from the clinic to the town I live in. Ofc I used the list of trans friendly doctors to find them, but I could never imagine it would be that easy.

[@spoons440]

I stumbled across your videos while sick with the flu this weekend, and even as someone who started at 20, not 16, these have hit close to home. I'm from Ontario, moved around a lot, have no family doctor of my own and had to move out on my own to feel safe to transition. I had no idea where to start. I knew the wait times are ridiculously long so I started self medicating. I ended up finding a clinic that I could fill in a form myself for instead of being referred by a GP, and six months later I got my first prescription. It's all still very scary and uncertain, but I'm slowly making it I guess. Anyway, your videos are great, thanks.

[@barbiescrackhouse]

awesome series, lily!

[@lily_lxndr]

Thank you

[@RT-jx9cp]

Very informative! As one of your cis viewers, I hadn't been nearly as aware of these problems before.

[@jayemover_16]

The more I watch, the more grateful I am that my family has Kaiser Permanente as healthcare. They're insanely supportive and will do everything they can to help you, regardless of what you need help with.

[@lily91109]

Story about donating blood so healthcare adjacent: Pre-T guy, after so many stupid emails and texts I go donate blood for the NHS. I'm pretty comfortable as putting myself down as male, so I do that. Day comes and they're doing the routine iron test to make sure I'm eligible. There's two liquids they use to test this, one for males and one for females. My drop of blood gets put in the male tube and I fail the iron test with flying colours. Told to come back next year or something. Well. If the f/m tick box is used to determine what hormones your body are effected by, then couldn't it be changed to t/e? Checking their site, they say it's like this cos most trans people go on hormones. This would be the most reasonable thing to do if most/all trans people have acess to hormones. I don't have the skill in writing irony and comedy to properly stress how silly this is. It's way past my bedtime and I'm going to give myself a migrane stressing about this. Could God really not exist when there are so many systems with absolutely no foresight?

[@nathitaxo]

But didn’t you tell them to put you in the female range?? I mean, you don’t take hormones and your body is biologically female

[@caetano.santana]

Really glad to be trans in a period of human history where HRT and social transition is possible. Even with so many difficulties and obstacles, I'm happy to finally be able to live as my authentic self - and to experience my peers do this as well.

[@astabaker9421]

I hope that doctor doesnt often assault people... I'm sorry that happened to you and the others ❤

[@476f7474]

Damn, i thought for over 5 years that it's because something is wrong with me that I have become to afraid to go to the doctor or even to leave my apartment most of the time. Like, I thought I was paranoid and overreacting. Now I see, i was never alone... Not sure whether to be sad or happy about that.

[@Dinnyeify]

Genuinely heartbreaking that these issues are still as prevalent as they are. It shouldn't be like this, and hopefully, it won't be at some point. Also the part about healthcare that's enriching and positively life-altering instead of So Uncomfortable And Hard? God I want that so badly. For every single person, in all types of healthcare.

[@NobodyImportant69420]

Thank you for the story. It helped me imagine how it feels to be a trans person.

[@fear_bees]

Got really lucky. My PCP since I was born was amazing. She didn't know much about it, but actually respected me advocating for myself. She referred me to someone who specialized in sexual health, but kept treating me amazingly.

[@koripto5192]

when i was 14 my doctor called me an "autistic girl", despite knowing i'm a trans guy. luckily tho i go to a clinic and i'll be starting hrt soon (when i recover from my ed, or maybe i can start soon despite having it hopefully), granted it's like 2 hours away and it's easy to get lost on the way there but it's the only place i can go to. they're nice, they complimented me saying that they know i'm gonna be a beautiful guy, they love weed (very necessary detail lol), and everyone working there are queer themselves. i feel safe there :)

[@koripto5192]

but i know i'm privileged, wayy privileged. i'm 15, i have a supportive family, i have insurance so my appointments cost absolutely nothing most of the time, and i can afford to go to a clinic full of people who understand and will not hesitantly give me hrt despite it only being my 2nd visit! so yeah even though i had a really awkward experience with my doctor saying that in front of me to my mother, i'm still lucky. luckier than a lot of trans people probably will unfortunately.

[@nopizzawithoutpineapple]

If a doctor abuses you you have a moral right to post their crime, name, picture and address online.

[@lily_lxndr]

It’s tempting but I expect it would get me sued

[@gethelp6271]

@@lily_lxndr why would you get sued for that?

[@ancuruadh6027]

@@gethelp6271 Because bigots knw they can get away with anything, that's why.

[@Red5rainbow]

God, this hits hard. I remember knowing I wanted hormones but not being sure if I was trans or not (such an egg moment lmao) and even though I probably could've talked to my doctor, (I was 19 when I was considering hormones, I'm 20 now- it would've been confidential- I was terrified of my parents finding out) I just didn't want to go through the headache, I don't want to have to justify myself and explain all the reasons why I wanted this, and I didn't want to have to wait as some people I don't know evaluate me. I don't experience body dysphoria, and I'm genderfluid so I still feel cis sometimes- and at the time I wasn't even sure if I was trans, I just felt like there was too much about me that would make me not be taken seriously. I live in California right in between LA and San Diego, I probably could've gotten hormones through the medical system, I mean there has to be some good doctors near me- I'm within driving distance of the two biggest cities in California. I don't think it would've been impossible to get what I wanted, but I was just too scared to ask for anything. I did my research, and I found a reputable place to buy the T I wanted (DHT cream specifically, which is a little different from regular T) online, it cost about $150 and I paid in bitcoin. I don't know if that's a good price but it seemed good to me, I have no clue how much it would've cost if I got it through a doctor, though I think it would've probably been less. Since I didn't get it through legitimate means, I'm somewhat terrified of anyone finding out I'm taking this hormone. I'm scared I'll get in trouble or have it confiscated, even though it's not illegal to posses it. Sometimes I do worry that it might cause some conflicts with other medications or medical procedures but I just have no clue if it will or not and it doesn't feel worth it to bring it up since I don't want to mention it to then be questioned about it and where I got it. For some reason, part of me feels like I'm not a "real trans" because I didn't do things the proper way, even though I know of tons of trans people who do hormones DIY and I've never once thought any of them weren't "real trans." But, I mean, the whole reason why I didn't talk to a doctor about what I wanted was because I felt like I wouldn't've been able to defend myself and stand by my decisions when questioned by someone, I feel like I don't have the confidence to defend my identity... Buying the hormones online was just so much easier.

[@jazzpear8877]

T is notoriously inexpensive. I pay $2 a month for my T. Without insurance it's like $15. I do take a very small dose, though. There are testing costs associated with going to the doctor, but only for the first year or so. It is not safe to be on T without testing and supervision over your T levels, at least until you find the dosage that works and is safe for your body specifically. Everyone is different, what's considered a low dose for others raised my T levels higher than what's safe, and my blood pressure was getting dangerously high because of it. If I wasn't getting tested and supervised by a doctor, I could have had more long-term health concequences.

[@jazzpear8877]

Also, I'm non-binary, went to an informed consent clinic in my notoriously conservative state, and they never blinked an eye at me wanting hormones. I talked about wanting a more androgynous appearance, and spoke of the specific bodily changes I was wanting to get from T. Tbh, if you can't say why and what benefits you hope to gain from taking a medication, especially one with permanent bodily changes and negative health side effects, it's probably best not to take it.

[@Red5rainbow]

@@jazzpear8877 I got DHT cream specifically, which I don't know if it costs the same as regular T or not

[@Red5rainbow]

@@jazzpear8877 The tone of your comment makes it sound like you're assuming I didn't research and consider this for a long time before getting it. I've thought about all the possible effects and have done research on it.

[@jazzpear8877]

@@Red5rainbow Ahhh DHT is a different thing. It's only Schedule III, so I'm not sure why you're worried about getting caught with it? If you're not importing it, it's not a problem. It's also not an underground thing at all you can get it on Amazon. Not that I reccommend that stuff in particular, but it's not hard to find nor illegal to own. It also doesn't do the same thing as regular Testosterone. Maybe that's what you're after, but you called it "T", so I don't know if you know the difference. Tbh from your original comment I didn't get the impression that you knew what you were doing. You made no mention of the possible health side effects of doing T without monitoring your levels. Plus, you didn't distinguish between DHT and T, which are pretty different despite both having "testosterone" in the name, and not knowing what the going price for that product is. That makes it seem like you don't know what you're doing to me. I am glad you've thought it through. While I'm sure that you've thought through the fact that you *want* a medical transition, it's also important, I think, to name exactly what you want from it, and to know what the risks and side effects are. That's exactly what an informed consent clinic wants to ensure, so if you're wanting regular T, then you should absolutely try and find an informed consent clinic that will at least monitor your levels while you take your DHT, or prescribe you T if you're wanting the effects that DHT won't give you. Luckily though DHT doesn't mess with your hormone levels very much, but it can still cause hair loss and more serious health side effects. $150 is still a lot to pay just for DHT cream.

[@ClicStudio]

Thank you so much for these videos, I know what I have to look for while going through it, I’m really glad I’m in canada to get through this, and also I feel fully comfortable to talk about my gender with the counsellor at my college, I’m pretty sure I won’t be the first to come for help to them, so hopefully they’ll be able to refer me to the right people

[@ericborczuk135]

What you said at 3:35 is really important; doctors are now required to re-take their board certification every 7 years; if we are observing in 2022 that PCP's are still just as out of touch as in 2011, this means that reform has to be made to that board certification! So I would respectfully disagree and say that those doctors who haven't been to med school in the past 10 years do matter (in the sense that through Board examination their practice could be reformed)

[@Tuvabaluba]

This series was so good and informative, thank you! 💚 (and thank you for sharing your doctor experience, im so sorry that happened to you)

[@namixless9732]

im still so pissed that my doctors refused to even give me consolations about surgery if i didn’t already have 2 therapists notes. they would even TALK TO ME about getting top surgery unless i was already checked out and ready. and if you didnt know…those letters need to be addressed to specific doctors (atleast in my case) so not being able to talk to this surgeon made it impossible. so in currently stuck with no top surgery and seeing what to do because i may end up having to travel somewhere for the surgery

[@PhoeniXXTalon]

im a (cis) type 1 diabetic and my very cool endo also works with trans youth, the moment i was diagnosed they worked on getting me an endo because it was medically necessary and i wish trans people were treated with the same necessity because it really doesnt seem like it should be so hard from my perspective :(

[@TheSkullPanda]

When I first came out and requested help from my primary care, in Maine USA, she told me "we don't do that in this state". Which was a lie, but set me back several years till i was able to find a specialist :/

[@Robin-ps9wq]

as for wapath, I transitioned a year and a bit ago and had to go thought with the 3 months. a friend of mine did too. wpath is still upheld in the Maritime provinces my family doctor refused to sign off on my name change despite my province stating she should be the one to do it. she tried to say being trans was a phase and brought that up multiple times. she pulled up my shirt to see my binder and touched my chest after I told her no, I was not comfortable with her doing that. this was during a consultation about my hormone therapy (nothing to do with my chest). she constantly misgendered me to my face when referring to me. she crossed out my new (legal) name on a referral letter to my surgeon and endocrinologist and wrote my deadname in pen over top of it. she told me she referred me to an endo when she did not, I ended up having to call around town and refer myself to one. I had to get her receptionist to refer me to my surgeon. In more recent time, at every appointment ive had since ive been on hormones for over a year and had top surgery, she's tried to misgender me despite looking crazy for doing so, and she's blamed every issue ive had on hormones and tried to get me to stop cold-turkey as a "cure". of course I never take her "advice" but carpal tunnel? hormones. migraine? hormones. back pain? hormones. its actually getting to a point where nothing she says is helpful and I've been exclusively going to walk-in clinics everything worked out in the end. I have my hormones and my top surgery completed and im fully transitioned socially from these things. but with no help from the doctor. since I live in NB the wait time for a new doctor is currently over a decade ive been waiting for 3 years already.

[@Ynwell_theslaaneshi]

I’m just mostly going to rant about my own shortcomings with a therapist who helped me when I was either asocial, as low in mood as I could, or was engaging in abusive relationships with my family (always help them, not really think about myself) But one day, if I recall it was in 2020, before the pandemic, I was about to get 17, and I decided to get myself some girly clothing, and I liked it (I couldn’t wear it for a long time as I don’t live alone) and, when I said that I was questioning myself and, it felt very weird, like she guessed I was thinking I might be a girl because I have so much girls in my life (she meant that with stuff like my family, composed of mostly my mom and my sister) and I didn’t get enough caring men to fix an objective to, and that I didn’t look like I was very feminine etc. I felt really, not helped, and I didn’t talk about that to her, this February I stopped seeing her because I felt better overall, and in may I think, I had a “panic attack” where I questioned my being, after seeing eggs videos, because I didn’t get help when I most wanted it, and instead got rejected, and tried to undermine my inner feelings. I consider myself agender, and Im still questioning myself.

[@miguito1086]

I'm from Peru, and soon I will graduate so I planned to go to study my career in Canada. It's great to learn about how this country works, and the lasts words you said In the video are comforting. I also think Canada is a good place for trans people like me, and although its sad to see even in there life is hard for trans youth, I'm grateful to already know that new life isn't going to be a fairytale lol. Thank you so much for your informative videos, this is a lot of help to understand how stuff works there

[@EEEEE3EEEEE]

Unrelated but can i just say, I love your voice so much. It sounds so freaking nice and calming.

[@foogriffy]

Transition is really one of the most fulfilling experiences someone could have. Not many people get to become the champions of their own identity, asking deep and important questions about themselves and their place in the world. Lots of people go through life completely blind to the things we can see clearly. Most importantly, it makes us strong. We're in a position to help others learn about our world. Our journey is so unique and complex, it's very hard for others to put themselves in our shoes. Not to mention we have so little understanding of how the brain works and why this happens to us. I really hope things become easier for us in the future, we deserve it.

[@aliavalentine864]

There was a doctor in the town I'm from that was well known for being amazing at working with trans youth and I was lucky enough to start HRT with them as my PCP, but they eventually left the city for a better job, which left so many of us without a trusted doctor. Thankfully because I have a car, I was able to continue HRT through a different doctor in another city that was recommended by the first doctor, but that wasn't an option for everyone who was under their care. Luckily another doctor that will prescribe hormones has come to the city. If this doctor were to leave a lot of people would be out of healthcare again. We need more doctors qualified to treat trans youth

[@bigooft9521]

Thanks for this. I'm in the UK rather than Canada, but have recently been coming to terms with how bad some of the experiences I had with the youth clinic there was. Very similar to the one you've talked about. It really messed up my relationship to my body and sex and my own autonomy, but I've just always powered through it + any trauma it caused because like... what else am I going to do? What other choices are there?

[@lily_lxndr]

I feel you, it really threw me for a loop too. I'm so sorry that happened

[@btdyaya3771]

there are private clinics in the uk like gendergp and yourgp, (although i can't in good faith recommend gendergp, they're basically an expensive way to buy placebo hormones) but an option you might want to consider is self medicating. there's a large anti self-medication stance that many trans people take which is understandable considering it's dangers, but in the uk it's unfortunately one of the only viable options, if you want more info then feel free to dm me :)

[@bigooft9521]

@@btdyaya3771 Oh I've been on NHS hormones for years, I don't need a prescription from anywhere or to self-med. The damage was done before I got my scrip, nearly a decade ago.

[@ancuruadh6027]

@@btdyaya3771 sorry, wtf is this nonsense about gendergp? "placebo hormones" wtf, you realise that makes no sense? hormones are hormones. gendergp prescribe the same hormones as any other doctor would for transition. could you please try making some sense here? and wtf id this nonsense about self-med being dangerous? seriously, get over your internalised transphobia plz...

[@passionate_possum_pal]

I'm writing an essay and preparing a video essay on medical gas lighting and discrimination in healthcare, this is a very good resource.

[@lily_lxndr]

I'm so glad to hear that, thank you! Please send the video my way when it's out!

[@StarrySkyyyy]

"picture this: you're a 16 year old trans kid and you wanna get on hormones" I don't have to picture it, that's exactly what I am

[@passionate_possum_pal]

Same

[@Dumb_Killjoy]

Same, but 17

[@harriethutchings8678]

I’m non-binary and want to get top surgery but I’m terrified to go to the doctors and get a referral for all of the reasons in this video. This was a much needed video thank you

[@Emily_North]

Comment For Engaygement🏳️‍⚧️

[@antilivvy7373]

wow 6 moths!?!!? thats a dream i watched a trans teen from 12--18 befor they got help, thanks UK!

[@pastel9743]

5:54 “low income, bad mental health, and haven’t gotten the care we need” someone needs to slap that on a hoodie

[@face_nemesis]

in hindsight, my first provider i saw for hrt saying "but WPATH protects you" sure was weird :)

[@saerynk]

Gotta love that subtle reference in the captions at 5:36

[@lily_lxndr]

oh my god lol

[@saerynk]

@@lily_lxndr I don't know who does your captions, but I love that they didn't tell you they did this from your reaction😆

[@lily_lxndr]

@@saerynk These are actually auto-captions, I haven’t uploaded the official ones yet! Which makes it wilder if anything

[@CatherineGraffam]

thank you so much for this video. youre doing amazing work!

[@lily_lxndr]

That means so much! Thank you Cat