"HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO DON'T LISTEN/LISA ROMANO"

bit.ly/35UuXf5_... Never put up with pushy people who don't listen and instead, learn how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships today! Learning to love yourself more involves setting healthy relationships with people so you can finally learn to be your true self.
Toxic relationships begin with toxic beliefs. If you believe you are unworthy or if you believe you do not have a voice in a relationship, sadly, there are those who will take advantage of your kindness. If you are a people pleaser, fixer, or enabler, you will find yourself feeling quite drained by those who take advantage of your kindness.
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Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty childhood subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness. She is also one of the most popular meditation teachers on Insight Timer and is the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. If you feel invisible, unworthy, and lack a sense of self or purpose, Lisa's work in the field of personal development can help you gain the self-awareness required to breakthrough.
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Thank you for watching "NEVER PUT UP WITH PUSHY PEOPLE WHO DON'T LISTEN/SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES TODAY!" Lisa Romano
#respect #selfconfidence #boundariesinrelationships #boundaries #codependencyrecovery #lisaaromano #lisaromano

[@mstwelvedeadlycyns]

In a nutshell. She is literally saying who gives an eff about what people think about you and your morals beliefs and etc. Do You Boo!!!! You are worth it!!!! You are enough!!! Screw everybody else!!! Let them go. STAND YOUR GROUND! YOU WILL FINALLY BE FREE!!!! I KNOW I AM!!! I had to watch this twice!!!! Right on Sister!!!!✊✊✊✊ Lisa is life!!!!!

[@Rebel6832]

I will Keep watching This until it sinks in and I learn how to Not be afraid to set boundaries without attaching to the Very Scary outcomes!! I Do Tend to Freeze up when ppl try to verbally bash me!! This is aweful, as I later think to myself, "my gosh, why didn't I think to say this or that when this person was coming at me?" I am learning...❤

[@lisaaromano1]

Thank you for being here girl~~~~~~~~~~

[@Rebel6832]

@@lisaaromano1 ❤❤❤❤❤💯

[@SilentFigure1]

Thank-you.

[@alanmclain7072]

⁰l}

[@brianmarshall3931]

No one will ever have a problem with YOUR boundaries - unless they are personally benefiting from you not having any...

[@lisaaromano1]

Toxic people resent boundaries.

[@clblueray144]

So true

[@brianmarshall3931]

@@lisaaromano1 That would be the point. Kinda like mosquito repellent?

[@heathere244]

Wow. So so true. And that usually is the case isn’t it?

[@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

Say that again for the folks in the back!! 🗣

[@jamesmccarthy6764]

I remember telling my narc, "these are my boundaries".. that narcissistic smirk will be forever be imprinted on my memory!!

[@garycordle5295]

Setting boundaries is nothing but challenge fuel to a narcissist,best way is if possible be done with them.👍

[@hpqzhpqz9688]

@@garycordle5295 : Although I moved and now live over 400 miles away, an insufferable narcissist acquaintance would ring sometimes twice, even three times a week and deliver a repetitive monologue down the line. These calls, at least the earlier ones would go on for well over an hour. His voice was like a fire hose. I could hardly get a word in and when I did manage to put my point of view in, it led to argument which cranked up as I would not compromise. I would then, after the courtesy of informing him that this was about to happen and why, simply hang up on him. I can recall having done this about 7 or 8 times. He would become exasperated. Not sure infuriated would be the right word, but close. Checking the mark on my calendar, .... I haven't heard from him for over seven months now. I agree. Cutting off the narcissistic supply is the most effective move. And no backsliding.

[@garycordle5295]

@@hpqzhpqz9688 thanks for sharing your story and congratulations on your new life 👍🧬

[@asryn96]

@@garycordle5295 Indeed. It's challenge fuel, they'll be working on how trample on them.

[@garycordle5295]

@@asryn96 exactly boundaries is nothing but challenge fuel to them, just go no contact and block away from these toxic people

[@Rebel6832]

Crying as I listen to this, as This is THE MOST HELPFUL INFORMATION!! I don't need to know anymore about Narcs, I Just need to learn How to Change me in the way that You are saying here!! I am TIRED of ppl trying to Control me!!!

[@inspireone7500]

🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰🥰

[@garycordle5295]

You must learn to let go of these toxic people that don't serve you nothing at all,set your boundaries put your foot down and say no to these toxic people.

[@lisacurtis8162]

God bless you. I hope much love and healing for you.

[@nancythornton2947]

I believe learning about these narcissist helped me get better. I can see them as a broken soul. I can also set boundaries with broken souls 💔.

[@grace2excell]

😥

[@foodandhomeprep8425]

I'm happy alone, knowing I can be myself. My ex and my in laws could not accept me. They thought I should be different. The minute I told him I wanted a divorce, everyone on his side stopped talking to me. It was a relief, to be honest. I love my life. I have enough friends and family. They don't always agree with me but I don't care. Guess what though...they still love me...and I them. I'm also not naive enough to think they wouldn't abandon me as well. I will be okay no matter what.

[@rachelgosho9907]

Good Friends and family are the key to survival.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Right? Way too many toxic family members. One thing that annoys me is when a boyfriends family member calls me out in front of others or corrects me in public to make themself feel better. I don’t like jealousy either in a relationship but it happens. The moms that cling to their son creeps me out also. It’s understandable if your son has been sick and doesn’t want him to leave her side but manipulating others to make him stay with her is a red flag. My cousins mother made up a lie about her dad saying that he raped her daughter just to keep her close and it worked. I look for red flags not only in myself but in others also and see where to go from there using empathy and understanding as an approach. If no one is able to communicate then that’s not a good sign. I unfortunately always have my guard up and ask God to protect my heart and so does my boyfriend.

[@MH-cv5ye]

I've recently been so calm, it's been easy to spot when someone wants something. I noticed someone being 'nice' to me, it became obvious that they wanted to live in my house. With strong boundaries, it was easy saying no. There's no need to feel bad about saying no. If they don't like it, there's no loss to you. If anything, they should respect you more, and appreciate it. Said i need my space to maintain mental health, etc. So I was honest and straightforward about it. My life isn't easy living alone, but I got here alone, maintained it alone, so can't see why anyone else thinks they can benefit from my hard work, denial, and suffering anyway. Nobody can just walk in and reap a benefit, even if it they contribute. I prefer holding my own, owing nobody anything, taking nothing. Total responsibility. If someone gives, I give them n return. No debts! I wish you all the best of luck, and hope you have a great day. 😎✔

[@mstwelvedeadlycyns]

Awesome post!!!😊😊😊😉👏👏👏👏👏✊✊✊✊🤜🤛

[@inspireone7500]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽♥️

[@beaulieuonnp593]

Well spotted

[@lots3799]

I feel the exact same way. I like that line. I have to maintain my mental health. Thats a keeper.

[@violetskye6863]

I came to the same conclusion as you and I literally cut off half my family and friends who take but never reciprocate. Good for you and stay strong. I wish you love ,continued insight and healing

[@alexandrareginaaminaalexan5256]

Its difficult to set up boundaries with ppl who are aware that things they doing are wrong and they still doing it

[@asryn96]

We must go grey rock then.

[@grace2excell]

Yes

[@2010cmarie]

Exactly, because they don’t care about your boundaries they want their way and will go all around your boundaries in various ways until you cave in and they get their way. SMH

[@danielborrowdale3903]

Then you set the consequence for crossing your boundaries. That's when you truly respect yourself and no one can treat you like an object.

[@LaraKim]

Actually you have to tell people about your boundaries and what the consequences are for crossing them. So everyone has to be aware of them. The people who don't cross your enforce your boundaries because they respect your boundaries. But the people who cross them and don't respect them are actually letting you know that they aren't going to be a good person to have in your life. You don't have to keep them in it

[@l.5832]

Thank you. I often tell people you would not tell a person who was raped that they were 'playing the victim'. I'm sick of people who accuse me of playing the victim. It's NOT something I chose. I AM trying to heal and invalidating me doesn't help one bit. The worst is relatives who shut me down and refuse to believe the abuse I suffered from my mother. They want to believe the myth of her perfection. BTW The best thing I do for myself is tell myself I do not want to be like them. That makes me proud of being discarded by them.

[@brianwillem]

Anyone who minimalists your hurt is adding to your hurt. Identify the flying monkeys and go no contact.

[@ashley.sullivan5718]

That's it your mind is at a loss as it wont get better only worse it should be a better that they left you as you are now free to be you but it kills in a strange way wen u have invested so much into a empty shell

[@maidmarion2976]

L don’t ask anything of them then they cannot invalidate you. Just be yourself and if they don’t like it, too bad

[@ImogenBunting]

Exactly - my mum and family the same. Glad I am finally finding me. :) I don't want to be like them either.

[@hissyfitz7890]

The outsiders see the facade; YOU have 20/20 vision.

[@ceebee1704]

Toxic people absolutely hate it when you set boundaries. I didn't know what was going on whenever I said no or made a decision that wasn't the one that the narc wanted, and it made me scared. I never had any real need to be scared in the end as it wasn't my problem and the other person was just someone who felt a need to manipulate and force things on others to get what they want. When you set boundaries to protect yourself, those who mind do not matter and those who matter will not mind. Do not sacrifice your own needs and emotional wellbeing to please another because it will never be enough and you will lose yourself. Respect yourself and be glad that the other person has shown you who they are, they are not worthy of your time if they do not value you as a person and only what they think they can get from you.

[@grace2excell]

True

[@Molly-ILJVM]

“It will not be enough and you will lose yourself .” You said what I feel with my siblings but couldn’t articulate it. I have experienced the gang assault as well with siblings. I’m glad you have a handle on setting boundaries.👍

[@lala5061]

Facts 💯

[@christrezise3228]

I have learned to love myself . I to have met many geniuses , who do not deserve me. I am enough I am worthy ,

[@grace2excell]

💛👍

[@deannahudson6873]

I no how you feel...trust me...not sure if I can ever get past the co-defendancy since my died left with no family my kid's have alienated me,...struggling to keep my SSI benefits as if they give you enough to live on...I have nobody now...it scares me...I am happy to be away from the other abusive relationships...

[@michellem775]

The reaction to setting a boundary is amazing and you do have to be ready for it. I immediately either get blamed for starting a fight when I’m just talking calmly or a temper tantrum. I have to remind myself that even if I set a boundary it’s not because anything will change it just shows them I can’t be manipulated or treated poorly anymore. Setting a boundary is more for me training myself to stand up for myself than getting a positive outcome. I feel stronger every time so I don’t have a freeze response anymore.

[@ac-hk4fs]

This has been my daily affirmation for a while. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who MIND don't MATTER, and those who MATTER, don't MIND."-- Dr. Seuss😊 You do you- don't let anyone change you.

[@Michelle721014]

Dear Lisa, you saved my life. Your first lesson " I am enough". I did self harm out of frustration, to a point I did not know how to be good enough for all the adults whom I loved deeply and performed all my best to please them in my life. I stop harming myself now. I will never harm alter myself to be enough. Because I am enough regardless I do or not do. Thank you for save my life.

[@lisaaromano1]

Yay!!! YES a once you understand why you are not kind to yourself, healing can happen quickly 🦋

[@grace2excell]

Love this

[@TSte18]

If they don't respect your boundaries is the perfect proof why you have to set them lol

[@gracegwozdz8185]

Lisa, how timely...This is exactly what I'm going through right now. My vulnerable narc mom died 2nd of June. I was not notified, I was stonewalled by my sister and brother. My sis sold mom's house 4 days before mom's passing. Imagine, I'm the one who sponsored all those creeps to Canada back in 1980's. Now I'm being "punished" for being AWAKEN and successful in life...in comparison to my narc siblings.

[@lisaaromano1]

I am sorry for your loss.

[@l.5832]

I am facing exactly the same thing. Narc mom being cared for by narc sister (who wants the inheritance) I am anticipating NOT being notified when she dies. I was NOT notified when she was taken to hospital The hospital contacted me about her medications. That's how I found out. Yet narc sister had no hesitation contacting me when she disagreed with medical assessment of my mom and she wanted someone to back her up. The only thing narcs understand is Agree with me or be punished.

[@kaitlynkarol4600]

@@l.5832 - I have similar relatives and you just have to keep standing up to them or just let them go. They will do anything they can to control the narrative by triangulating you but when they realized they need you, suddenly, they do the two-faced thing they do best by acting like they care -only when they want you for something. When they're done using you, it's back to their same old behavior.

[@grace2excell]

Sad

[@soniahathaway1]

How awful! I also reckon I will be left out of the Parents Will; I have been discarded once again. It sucks, but education re Narc families has really heloed. ❤🎉

[@theresamilford2303]

My favourite thing to do when I found this woman on KZbin is listening to her videos and crying in my heart she saved my life. I thank God for this message

[@lisaaromano1]

I am so glad the work is helping you transform your inner world...

[@valeriewalkerwhite9525]

My half brother who I'e always taken care of is the narcissist who tried to literally destroy me, suck the very life energy from me and spiritually rape me. This is crazy. Unbelievable...Finally got some emotional spack to start having fun, enjoying life...Thank you Lisa. Your videos are awesome and hae helped me get there...Still have a long way to go...

[@lisaaromano1]

We should not have to have to set boundaries, but with some people we just do! It helps us honor the self. Thank you for being here xoxoxo

[@valeriewalkerwhite9525]

@@lisaaromano1 Namaste!

[@grace2excell]

💛

[@Brian19616465]

Thank You! I needed to hear. 60 in October, I've been completely dependent and people pleaser. My childhood,I was the baby. My father didn't use a belt, he used his fist. You're choice as he held up his fist; you want Iron or Steel. One time when I was 10 ; I told my mother SHUT UP Immediately Dad grabbing from behind and picking me up and hanging me over the 3rd story balcony...he was going to kill me if ever heard that again. Then he lifted me over his head and threw me against the wall. One of many abusive acts. Mom died 4 months after my 11 birthday. Thanks to you and others here on KZbin . Working...

[@babyrenee6537]

THANK YOU this was for me. Even in latter years, or when you realize your own health your life lit depends on it If you can finally find the courage to say enough & set limits with the only parent you have ever known~it can be terrifying. Whether you've called out and named the shame & blame games they play, or simply say, "You are free to continue these patterns Mom but you will have to do so w/out me. We can either have a healthier more equitable, mutually respectful caring relationship or none at all" *crickets* Prepare for the SILENCE. Prepare to STAY STRONG As the narc in your life wont only never take responsibility but is running out your clock waiting for *you* to apologize for their *own outrageous or abusive conduct.* I had been falling into this same gaslit guilting trap, in fear of her rejection|disconnection now for like 60 years but im finally catching on lol

[@lisaaromano1]

You got this!

[@grace2excell]

🤦‍♀️

[@goldieh7121]

This is timely, thank you! I just set a boundary with my only close friend and she threw a rotten tomato in the form of a very manipulative text. I know from past experiences that any communication back will only be twisted back on me and be exhausting. I didn't respond and hope to never see her again. I am starting over from scratch, but rather have time to learn about myself than feeling the need to please people like her.

[@jopainting1668]

This can be so difficult but also so valuable and comforting in the long run. Stay strong, you're worth it!

[@justbeegreen]

LOVE the title of this video! Yes, people who have poor boundaries get very pissy when you set and stick to your boundaries. Let them have their temper tantrums and carry on.

[@arenee118]

I am a hospice nurse. The schedulers have no problem with running the nurses ragged, expecting more and more. Early on, I set my boundaries of what I was willing to do, such as only two days on call in the month, 32 hour week, and only two evenings a week, includes the on call evening. The other nurses got angry because of the fact that I set these boundaries and hold the schedulers to it. Yes, people with poor boundaries, like the other nurses I work with, get pissy when you set boundaries AND HOLD PEOPLE TO THOSE BOUNDARIES. That's their problem, though, not mine.

[@CCCreations48]

God has revealed & helped my to walk away from all the manipulation. He showed me the setups & I surrendered so that I didn't have to live my God given life that way anymore. Also how to handle those rotten thoughts that try to take me over. Praise God that He would do that for me 🙏 💥

[@lala5061]

I find that when u believe in God and u use these therapies online to help...it can really pull u through u just seem to get this leap of faith to just Go amd worry about everything else later (especially if it's volatile)...I thank God everyday my situation is stressful with our kids and all I went no contact (legally) but I just remember it could be worse I'm working on a game plan that will work so I can continue to work and provide for my kids like I was doing the whole time 🙄

[@JJ-dk1lr]

The freeze response was so difficult for me when I got hit with rage when I put up a boundary. OMG. I had the idea that others were more important than I was and if the bullies came after me, I would want to do anything to stop the abuse. I'm not that way anymore. I speak the truth and by doing that, people started leaving my life saying I was a mean person. I could see that when I was not playing the role the others set for me, I was to be punished. I came to the realization that being alone was ok, even though very hard at first, was what I needed to expand my awareness of who I was and who they chose to be. I am not to be attached to their words or actions in any way. Acceptance! Freedom! Peace!

[@annekenney6914]

We had a pecking order in my family. Each older child was abusive to the younger ones and made them their scapegoat. When I became an adult and matured, I decided that I wasn't going to do that to my younger siblings. But instead of understanding what I did, embracing that and building a relationship with me as an adult, they turned around and were happy to have me as the scapegoat of the family instead of themselves. They triangulated with my mother and contributed to the scapegoating of me. In our narcissistic family the kindness was seen as a weakness. No one had the courage to stand up to my mother or the insight to work on healing themselves.

[@lisaaromano1]

I hope you are in a safer place now🙏

[@lindamoses3697]

There is nothing as destructive as an unhealthy family. I had to move far away from them and have nothing to do with them.

[@wmh8396]

I am the youngest of 6. I am the scapegoat. I am now 57 and the only one to get therapy and started my healing. When our narc mother passed away 2 years ago, I woke up and realized that I wanted no part of my family toxicity. I have very limited contact with my siblings now. They try and put me on a guilt trip...NOPE!! I will no longer tolerate their crap! I feel free for the first time in my life! God bless all who have gone through, or are going through this nightmare! You matter and you are good enough!!❤

[@uyoebyik]

Anne Kenney I can totally relate

[@mac0219]

I understand this fully. I am number 5 of 6 and always protected by younger sister. She turned on me and joined in with the narc/flying monkeys to scapegoat me. I’ve literally never done a thing to her except be 100% loyal, loving, trustworthy and supportive. They’ve all convinced each other I’m the narcissist and think rejecting me is setting a boundary with me, meanwhile I’m the only one in therapy, the only one who ever owns up to mistakes and takes accountability, the only one constantly trying to improve and heal myself , whilst they all do nothing but project, deflect, blame, shame and judge from their soapboxes of perfection. Learning to be ok with their warped perception of me (created to evade accountability and keep the dysfunctional system in place) has been the hardest part for me. It’s so unfair and so backwards but it’s the price you pay for breaking away from the dysfunction

[@lisaaromano1]

#boundaries #boundariesmatter #innerhealing #childhoodtrauma #emotionalabuse #lisaaromano #codependencyrecovery #stopbeingsonice

[@MajICReiki]

I am realizing how terrible I am at this. I feel stunted, and boundary lame. Awareness/acceptance is the first step, right? I need rapid transformation, I backslid too far mentally/ emotionally/ productively when you said spiritual backspiral, backsliding, I have not liked what expressions and thoughts of anger and fear was brought out in my reactions. It hurt me more to see myself there when I had been on forward momentum in myself and all I had healed. This test of my progress with this narcissist has made me very disappointed in my own self denial. Your videos , I share with friends and others who describe what they're going through, and I hear your words and descriptors of narcissist abuse. Lisa, you help many without exaggeration, conflating, or self adulation in this accomplishment. I see the comments, the engagement of viewers, my own epiphanies in learning with your generous work, and clarity. I see you, and am deeply grateful for and to You.

[@ImogenBunting]

Thank you so much for your drive here Lisa. It'a almost like you were a fly on the wall through my life. :)

[@Rebel6832]

This Holds to True for me, bc My childhood life Literally Identical with yours! My father had a Bad head injury due to a bridge construction accident, and my mother always so enmeshed trying to keep things quiet and calm, also seemed like a Narcissist along with my father! Always felt like I was never enough and never learned how to live a normal life! And I have picked incorrectly in my husbands due to this in my past! I Love how you are teaching piece by piece, how to Help to understand and learn to rework my thought patterns! Same with my family, My mom chose my wonderful older brother and my golden younger baby sister! I was the scapegoat in my family! I had the triangulation within my parents and us siblings too!! This was Horrible!! I am trying to do all that I can to change my thoughts! This is Amazingly Helpful for me!!! I NEED to Keep learning This so as to live my True self and have a Peaceful life!! Bless You Lisa!!!PS and at 53 Starting to live from the scared little girl mindset to trying to become the adult mindset, is a Struggle, But I am Pushing through with Your Help!!! Thank You!!!❤💯

[@gracegwozdz8185]

I'm a middle child too. I was spared indoctrination into narcissism through complete neglect. Thank God I was neglected then.

[@dottiec7943]

My dad had a head injury at age seven. Metal plate put there he lied about the last 80 years. Mom too. Craziest life you can ever imagine I lived.

[@grace2excell]

👍

[@urbctwentyeight]

When I first started setting boundaries things got dramatically worse and was left with the symptoms and conditions from being assaulted and having my situations sabotaged, Cyberstalked & gangstalked although that was a long traumatic journey now my circle only consists of those who give the same love & respect as I do and only have authentic genuine friendships and relationship

[@lala5061]

Me too 😒...but life is better now 😃 ALONE...I learned some lessons and realized where my weaknesses were and now I'm feeling almost whole again...

[@joannegriggs8865]

I thought I was really being successful dealing with one until I realizes when we went shopping I allowed her to make me buy the purse she thought I needed and I didn’t get a shirt because I knew she wouldn’t like it so I went back alone the next day and bought it!!! I clearly have a long way to go!!

[@cherylm.6448]

Your content is so validating and your descriptions of this mental illness is so very accurate. Thanks for the light you give to the collective♡

[@marianperron9219]

Hard to remember it’s a mental illness and not take things personally. All my sibs and I married narcs. I see my younger brother now and it’s still upsetting.

[@grace2excell]

Absolutely

[@lovelysnowella1665]

Lisa.. I just left my husband 2 days ago. Your videos have helped me so much and are helping me get through these days and nights. Thank you!!!

[@dawnday5105]

Replay. Rinse. Repeat. Over and over until these recovery lessons become my muscle memory. Thank you, Lisa.

[@emocean582]

You are changing the world! Did you know in your subconscious back when (20+ yrs) that someday you would be a leader in self-love? When we love ourselves in a healthy way, we can truly change the world 🦚

[@grace2excell]

💛

[@maidmarion2976]

That’s true. Some of this is a left over from the days when girls were servants to everybody

[@BlueHeronDigitalArt]

I am going through something very similar right now. Well, its been brewing for years, but I am the family scapegoat and the gang mentality is so hurtful. I have watched many of your videos for years, Lisa. You have helped me through some very dark times and still do. The way you explain narcs and the family unit describe EXACTLY what I have been through. It's uncanny. It's comforting to be validated by your wisdom. You have helped me get clarity on many painful truths.

[@carospereman3537]

Wow, you are breaking this down to something I totally understand. Your exact description of what my mind was like and how I acted is spot on. So glad I have healed from this. Setting boundaries is so important and liberating. Listening to you makes me stronger. Thank you for your voice Lisa !

[@lisaaromano1]

Keep going girl ❤️

[@lorierhardt5551]

I listen to at least one of Lisa’s videos a day so,it sinks in and gives me strength power to make the changes to be free from all this❤️. She is a 💎

[@da835t]

People who get mad at boundaries are the clear cut signal that you should not be near that person whatsoever

[@Joseph-dr6si]

"But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself."

[@cymbolichuman433]

Ricky Nelson back in the early 70's had a song with that line in the chorus. Song is called "Garden Party"

[@Joseph-dr6si]

@@cymbolichuman433 When I was watching Lisa's video the chorus did enter my mind. I remembered the song chorus, it made sense to me, so I posted the chorus. I was a little boy at the time when the song was played on the radio. I didn't know it was Ricky Nelson, I love the song so I'm going to learn how to play it. I did not make the words, it was Ricky Nelsons words. Lisa reminded me. I hope all is well.

[@grace2excell]

True

[@stephr9859]

Da data da....

[@karenl1180]

RICKY!!!! love his music!!

[@triciagaunt8452]

I am 53 years old and trying to find out who I really a.m. instead of what people say I am

[@stephr9859]

Welcome to the party, friend! Happy new Birthday🥰 which is everyday

[@elizabethlavicka271]

You got this.

[@Geneva-vc3tg]

You are authentically developing; let no one come between the relationship you have with yourself…, if they can’t accept the developing you; they shouldn’t be present with you.

[@kerisparenga]

I'm so grateful for finding this video because the information is invaluable, Lisa! Now I have all of the tools that I need to write my narcissistic mother the letter describing my boundaries. Now I know how to say what I need to get my feelings out in the open, when she reacts to it I know that I can detach and accept. It's also given me the tools to understand that what I went through as a child and all of the abuse that has affected my subconscious can be reprogrammed. I am hopeful that this switch will help me in my professional life as a fine art painter and muralist Gain the self-respect that I need to have in order to be able to bid jobs correctly and not always undervalue my work. Sometimes I spend all day on an estimate worrying that I'm charging too much and then i give the customer my work for almost nothing. I need to change that bc my art is good and I need to believe in myself and be comfortable accepting compliments and such. Thank you,Thank you, Thank you. And to all of those poor souls that have been made to feel worthless because of somebody else's narcissistic behavior I totally empathize with you. God be with all of you! Xoxo

[@MayaRoseSpokenWord]

I would not have survived any of this without the knowledge from your work. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@easytrips3448]

My narc mother gave me a bad temper as a child. I wasn't being heard, she violated my principals. Set boundaries and ultimately went no contact.

[@r.p.8906]

Emotional freeze 🥶 at an early age is what we have as codependents. Feeling our feelings is the answer but the problem is when the emotional freeze happens in a preverbal age, the most difficult thing is to identify feelings! We never had a right to feel plus we might die if we feel! I have a feeling list, try to determine my feelings and try to figure in my body where the sensation is. Another thing that helps is to follow backwards my anger and emotional flashback backwards and backwards and realize it’s a projection of my own fear Onto another person or event. It’s a more circumvent way and I can now do it and find my true feelings back from an obvious projection . Much love 💕 to all and to our amazing speaker! We Can do this!

[@pamtroy1]

This is eye opening. I’ve always been able to stick up for myself… ,however, I have always had difficulty with the response I get. This video made me realize anybody that really cares about you will want to communicate and consider your feelings. I have siblings that get their jollies from feeling like they can upset you. Healthy people don’t do that. They’ve made it clear they don’t care about my feelings. So…. I can’t do anything about it…. Except not to care more about them than they care about me. I’m learning to let go of the outcome. I can only control me.

[@anniemaymcneely2013]

Kick the devil out and he will howl with indignant rage

[@YouTubeaccountj]

Lisa you are GENIUS

[@GemintheMud]

I can’t bear it when you say no politely and people keep pushing and insisting they have no agenda. I just wish people would see me for my skills, gifts and passions and not just in terms of what’s in it for them… what they can get away with. I’m a lot better at setting boundaries and honouring my instincts but I still question myself. Horrible. Thank you so much for this, Lisa 🙏🙏

[@donnavorbach215]

This podcast spoke to me like no other. BRAVO!

[@Katina1409]

What is the best way after telling a person many times to please understand my boundaries they still continue and keep calling to even cross my boundaries

[@lisaaromano1]

Umm...rethink this friendship.

[@l.5832]

@@lisaaromano1 Very difficult when it is family. Gang mobbing then discard. And disinheriting. And smearing. Sometimes they are just waiting to hear what your boundaries ARE just so they can violate them. Then say "So what are you going to do about it?". I'm so tired of running away. In a sense, they ARE controlling you because YOU have to pick up and leave, then deal with the fall-out that can last the rest of your life when it's family.

[@asryn96]

Go grey rock then.

[@l.5832]

@@asryn96 If it's a casual acquaintance by all means. If it's someone in your family or workplace they will step up the abuse until they get a reaction. They will cross more boundaries.

[@dawnday5105]

@@l.5832 Go no contact, even for just a year or 2. In my family, they got the message. Knowing that it's only for a set amount of time vs forever helps you stay the course. If they don't, go another year or 2. You can do this! God bless.

[@coffeegirl6854]

Thank you so much Lisa. I managed to hold on to a little bit if integrity. And I do embrace myself and the things that are important to me. I am standing alone now. But I am standing.

[@hye-seonkim1115]

I'm adopted and was placed with a family who emotionally abused me. This is the second video of yours I've watched Lisa. Thankyou. I have a lot of work to do. But I need to as I have a husband and 2 Children. I care enough to better myself for my family. ❤💜

[@michelekurlan2580]

This is brilliant. The part about creating space, a space where the rotten tomatoes can fly..wow..this is part and parcel of why enmeshment is hard to escape. Going thru this with my current dentist. Not sure it's gonna end well

[@metaloki915]

You're 55?! You go girl! Looking fabulous! Keep doing whatever you're doing. ....and thank you so much for your content. ...priceless

[@a.s.r.3661]

What a relief it is to know that I am NOT alone feeling and experiencing this! Thank you!

[@golondriz3]

I refuse to come close to a narcissist because they don’t know how I feel because they are empty inside and they don’t know what love is.

[@ShoutItFromTheHousetops]

Wowie!!! I just got off the phone after setting a thick boundary line with my gentleman friend, and then I happened to see your video here about boundaries and then had to laugh out loud. I let him know that this is who I am, how I think and what I expect and it’s okay if not everyone (him) agrees or likes it. It’s regarding how I plan to deal with my 22 yr old dtr who happens to be in crisis right now. He assumed I didn’t know how to handle it, but now he does...clearly. Yay for me because yes!...I feel empowered.

[@lillahbohamah5975]

BRILLIANT crash course .. I HEAR it so clearly!!! .. actions within this can take seconds days weeks... or an eternal dialogue .. It's not a quick fix.. Rewiring the input ..need an overdrive which TIME is valid through moments of the actual internalizing of either some or ALL of what you teach🙏 Thank you 🌐🙏

[@lisaaromano1]

thank you so much for being here.

[@BintGumby]

Im turning 36 next month God willing, though my physical body isnt completly healed from all the abuse and trauma, my psyche is and im still managing triggers still occasionally, but better and recovering more quickly. This video reminded me when i started healing from the narc abuse in my family almost 5 years ago watching ur videos and counseling and how far ive come. I bought a bunch of elegant casual dresses to reflect my new refined self. I havent found the one yet but i know ill be ok if i dont and i stand in my own confidence and am a pro at being alone and enjoying my time. No counselor could tell me half the info u go into depth about. I still carry shame for not talking to my father sometimes triggered by others asking why i dont talk to him or why dont i go find his family in his country he originates from. It still triggerring i cant tell them how much recovery work i had to do from his abuse. I just tell them u dont know the story and he cant be my father if i allowed him to be. I cant talk about the abuse to people that dont understand. They just dismiss u as a woman with baggage and dont understand healing and i dont need to convince them the reasons why or that im healed. Thank you for all u do!

[@seanjarett4448]

Ma'am, you are a NATIONAL TREASURE. I might compare it to those civil rights crusaders who decided that, "We shall overcome," and they made the country better for everyone, not just themselves. You taught me to overcome both myself and the narcissists in my family. You even taught me that my father was the dreaded malignant narc, my mothers is covert and my little sister is grandiose like president trump (lower case here). I started crying as soon as I spoke to my childhood photos, telling them that I love and validate them...how precious they are, etc. I've actually started healing. I pulled myself out of the tailspin of criminality and now I just have to learn how to stop inhaling things that you showed me I'm using to regulate my emotions. I love you man and I meant it in the highest sense when I called you a Super Bad B. OK ? That was just after I finished crying and I may have been overly exhuberant...

[@tkimber4699]

I am so glad I have found Lisa and her membership program. I can't believe at my age this is all dawning on me!. Wish I had found these years ago!! I have a very close childhood friend who I am now realizing is as critical with me as my borderline mother, and only 3 times have I set a boundary with this friend, and 3 times, I was punished for months. This last little big dig she gave me was really awful and these videos are helping me to see that this is very dysfunctional. It's almost like I'm addicted to her approval. I'm almost 3 months no contact. Miss her so much, but don't miss the digs and constant side stabs. I think my self-esteem might go up. hahahhaha But thank you, Lisa. So so helpful.

[@grace2excell]

Wow. So sad

[@tkimber4699]

@@grace2excell I'm doing much better. At least her actions brought me to this new awareness and teacher. :) But I appreciate your compassion. That's really kind.

[@leegorringe5580]

Thank you Lisa Lee Stockholm Sweden

[@christrezise3228]

I AM ENOUGH .

[@phantomwatcher8170]

Agreed Lisa if somebody wants out of your life show them the door and help them pack you’ve got this you’re stronger than you ever thought I know this from personal experience you’ve definitely open my eyes to narcissistic abuse and I will never do that again thank you so much also my mother is codependent and also narcissistic in punishing LOL

[@lisaaromano1]

AMEN!

[@grace2excell]

😥

[@Teach.Experience.Dance-Vicky]

I like what Lisa has to say and it makes a lot of sense but she speaks really fast and sometimes it’s hard to take it in - anyone else struggle with this ?

[@andreahampton471]

You nailed this!!!!!! Thank you for this video. Your the real MVP.

[@tundeterez]

"Layering"! Omg, this helps so much to identify and it helps catch yourself in the act, so that you can go back to your original feeling and not avoid it.

[@tootienottoofruitie1726]

I felt and thought I would find"someone to love me". Is not what all the movies and books and shows about... No emphasis on loving your self at all ❗😊

[@ellenboggs3701]

Hitting the nail on the head! Thanks so much for verbalizing exactly what I have felt. Working on my self worth with the help of my children, good friends and a lot of prayer. Working hard on seeing myself as someone important and precious to God and others around me.

[@AnaLockett]

The point at the end about not controlling the outcome once you stick up for yourself is wonderful! This is true with big day to day decisions! Im so worried about disappointing or hurting feelings.

[@janetdarlington7720]

Had this very sick syndrome in my family. I set boundaries with my mom and she threatened to cut me out of the Will. I stood up to her. She didn’t.

[@bbee3629]

Setting boundaries with narc and family now and getting a lot of push back. Gotta be willing to have them all walk away if they will just because I am setting very reasonable boundaries. They probably won't but have to be willing to do what I know is right and let the chips fall where they may. I can't continue in relationships where I am taken advantage of, used, disrespected. Too destructive to me. Lisa, you used such a helpful analogy, described the dynamic so perfectly!

[@gloriadonahue7241]

Good morning Lisa. Thank you for this video. This one I really need.

[@hollysemancik8416]

Loved this! I love how u speak, ur straight up n to the point, no fluff or confusion. N btw, i CAN NOT BELIEVE U R 55!!! I thought maybe early 40’s

[@reillybab1]

Lisa🙏💕thank you💕💕💕💕

[@5DLit]

amazing clarity, honesty and kindness!

[@dulcineeapatricia7764]

Thanks God for finding you ! Thank yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ! 🧿

[@cindysmith9046]

Thank you.. for this helped me so much.I so needed to hear this!!...

[@grace2excell]

Yes

[@anewlifestirring]

Excellent and most helpful presentation. Would have been interested in a more elaborate exploration of the spiritual aspect of an empathetic education that makes us live as misfits, like lambs in a world that is for the time being at least, dominated by wolves.

[@rachelmoore5079]

So true.. gosh I’m a narcissist magnet 🧲 🙈😫

[@edgreen8140]

I don't enable difficult people by cleaning up their messes. They have to put in the work. I'm saying no, i will not have this. You can say anything observe don't absorb. You'll see the pattern. The narc drive threw the pothole 50 times because they can't anticipate the outcome. When they reck the car they don't like the bill. Oh well you drove through the hole every time.

[@treeluckfactory5710]

They have problems with planning and impulsivity. It's literally brain damage in many cases. They've been abused and beat on sometimes (by the narcissist who turned THEM into one. And when they grow up they become the "head vampire" for a quick analogy lol) and that causes brain damage whether hit in the head or not. When you've been abused in ANY way, you're wired wrong until you start taking care of yourself even how much you're able to. Exercise, nutrition, fasting, meditating, journaling, all of this has been proven time and again TO HEAL THE BRAIN! So there's hope for everyone. You still have to go no contact and everything, but it feels so much better to know they may not be evil forever and start working on their mess.

[@elizabethkeller6040]

I set boundaries. Told I was so selfish. Just a grain in the sand of the rest of the story. Love your gig. We are same , farm girl here, you, city girl . But we, Lisa, raised the same. Thank you for all you do for us. !!!

[@jeanniecampbell1374]

She is so good ...thanks for posting

[@lornaelizabeth6290]

Thank you Lisa- I am getting better at boundaries but still struggle with the guilt- I am also very aware that I can be triggered by others boundaries due to my own abandonment wounds! Thank you this is so enlightening xxx

[@cynthiachristiansen8803]

I need to hear this, thank you.

[@grace2excell]

Yes

[@GoodWolfWonRocky]

Excellent overcoming Lisa!!!

[@alexandriascott4656]

Everything you just said I related and resonated with! Thank you Lisa for making these. You’ve helped me so much heal here on my spiritual journey. ❤️❤️

[@francesbernard2445]

Very important is to let go right away while being tactful and warm as possible when doing so to be maintaining boundaries around what appears to be probable a narcissist right from the start and then never looking back when they discard you which they will. Because yes if you are not as tactful and warm as their culture expects then you will be the subject of gossip and that is O.K. while feeling safe within your own boundaries.

[@LensofLove3061]

So DEEP! So simple! So difficult! So amazingly inspiring!

[@karenlaos5849]

I love this video and agree 100%. Its difficult for me to set any boundaries with anyone. Most of the people in my life are narcissists. My boyfriend has been living with me without contributing a dime for 6 years! I told him that was long enough and enjoy sleeping in your car at age 60 if you think im going to accept it ever again.

[@elizann2023]

Wow I just needed this I dunno why it showed up in my feed but I have been finally setting boundaries with a my newly adult child. She has many toxic behaviors and addiction. So I started setting boundaries about insulting me and blaming me for everything and not letting her invade my space(when she is angry she will either follow me around or refuse to leave my room. It has been tough but it is getting better.

[@trustyourself144]

Listening to you unscrambles my brain. Thank you so much for the work that you do.

[@BeauxBiggsby]

Man! Your approach....I don't even know how to say it in any articulate way. Its so spot on. I mean....not to compare, but I "get" the other folks providing similar content on KZbin/social media. But your words....hit me in such a (for lack of a better word) forthright kinda way. It's a way that's more like I think and talk. It's very helpful and very encouraging.

[@FullyYoked]

yes they do and it is sooo telling

[@melodyleiber8562]

All narcs have that smirk,like to slap it off their face!!!!!

[@misha2197]

Words of wisdom. 😊

[@karenmartin5647]

Lisa, I love your intelligence and how articulate you are. Great content, as always.

[@lyrasus]

This video and the information presented is life-changing. I always described it as “I’m tiptoe-ing” and eventually “ I’m sick of tiptoeing around ____!!” Well, this untangled and made sense of the whole cycle for me!! Just knowing what’s going on and what to expect (even if it’s the unexpected!) allows me to step into much needed surrender of complete “control”! Because at the same time I surrender… I do it within the safety of my boundaries!! It’s such an a-ha moment. WOW. Thank you so much Lisa

[@juditkarajko]

I am about to leave my dream job, because of evil bullies. How on earth did this happen to me? I am very good at my job, I am very attentive thoughtful compassionate and I am not co dependent. But still i managed to find myself in situations recently where I am completely fooled around by a few powerful bullies, who shout and not listen, and try to get rid of me. I am at the very end of my rope. I have a healthy self esteem, I don't see why this is happening.

[@infantrycaptain9224]

What a powerful, intelligent woman! 👍🎖

[@maidmarion2976]

Lisa, brilliant, thanks answers a lifetime of questions

[@Princess_Unicorn44]

Wow, I just realized that I just "got out" of a triangulation between my own siblings.. that's heavy but so eye opening. Thank you! 🙏

[@rita8457]

Hey Lisa, this video was 3 yrs ago & I just stumbled upon it. I’m glad I did! My narc husband stopped paying our rent, & spent our downpymt for a house on drugs! Fake promises and all the rest of his narc ways. I’m learning a lot from you dear. I’d like to divorce him & I need to find a pro bono lawyer near me. It’s not that easy. Any suggestions? Onward & upward! I’m gonna touch the sky if it’s the last thing I do! Take care everyone. The best is yet to come!🎉❤❤❤🎉