SCHIZOPHRENIA: The Worst Symptoms

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com

[@kimalonzo3363]

I ❤ you so much, Lauren.

[@middlemarie2]

Joined the general one but it got super frustrating as I followed instructions but then couldn't figure anything out.

[@aleksazunjic9672]

One thing you could try to "increase reliability" of your thoughts are nicotine patches. It is proven that nicotine increases blood flow in prefrontal cortex (reduces hypofrontality). Thus, many schizophrenia patients "self-medicate" by smoking. Obviously, smoking is not recommended but uptake of nicotine in purer form could help.

[@keithagee8972]

Your advocacy is "work life quality".

[@keithagee8972]

lmminent domain is why the man goes to jail. A woman calls the police. A domestic dispute is reported. The police show up. The male is subdued by a phone cord. The part in the woman's hair wasn't even bothered. The male is kinda roughed up. He has some scuffs. Mouth & nose bleeding a little. The police investigate. Basically, the male came home from work. He said fix me a sandwich. She said build me a house. He replied something along the lines of...you're not the only rewho who can fix a sandwich. The household is the woman's imminent domain.

[@SethBrundleify]

One thing I hate is people thinking mental illness is some kind of trend.

[@Agnes_B96]

Yes I agree. And thats because there are people who pretend that they have a mental illness and showing it on tik tok and other platforms, and that makes people think that mental illnesses are just made up shit that tik tokers come up with. So they don’t take mentall illness seriously when they see it in real life. Sad.

[@contrarianbarbarian4232]

Thank you. I’d trade this for anything.. or nothing.

[@nimimerkillinen]

well it can be? after popular cases of for example ppl with multiple PD diagnozed cases can pop up

[@SethBrundleify]

@@nimimerkillinen Do you have mental health issues?

[@extraordinarytv5451]

Yes but you'll notice ours isn't ever considered that because no one wants to have it and the people that fake it realize that people don't treat you well once they think you have it or they're simply scared and avoid you.

[@Max.Sinister]

Honestly.. honestly.. the worst part of schizophrenia and ANY mental illness in general... Is when you feel mentally sick. It's a lingering feeling of hopelessness, sickness with anxiety and suicidality. You think that this is something that will last forever, and the only way out is suicide. IF you have ever been there, you know what i'm talking about. Similarly to what she was saying. You feel like you cant trust your own mind.

[@e4mi]

This. I have finally realized I have OCD, not just "bad anxiety." The way that it drags me under like a wave and I don't know what my mind has created and what is real. ACT therapy has been helping a lot but it is still so hard

[@TRIA99]

True

[@heathersky8447]

Schizophrenics do trust their own mind. That is part of the problem. A schizophrenic will ALWAYS believe their delusions.

[@robinpatrick7862]

That’s Depression

[@mh6276]

It is like a lingering feeling of "what is wrong with me?" that makes you feel like you are doomed. For example ASPD aka Psychopathy, I don't think that a person suffering from ASPD would feel anxiety and hopelessness, after all, one the main traits is not feeling anxiety so I think it would be more in the form of asking them self's "what is wrong with me?".

[@amberrichards2778]

I was at a workplace once and the whole time I was convinced there was a conspiracy to get me to quit my job coming from the higher ups. I kept telling myself that I was just being delusional, I'm not important enough to be targeted like that, etc. Come to find out, the boss WAS trying to get me to quit because she had a vendetta against people with chronic illnesses. It rocked my foundation. I still can't trust bosses the way I used to. It sucked.

[@wayneanderson8034]

One of my psychiatrists said, "If you think people are following you, they probably are." Since then, I accepted that my dekusions will always be reality for me, even though no one experiences what I see.

[@DannyD-lr5yg]

I had a bad experience with a previous manager, and struggle with the same. She portrayed herself as constantly trying to help poor, helpless lil me, so it took me awhile to realize she was bluffing (and at times, even outright lying) about my performance being poor. For months upon months, she made it seem like I was constantly about to be fired, and that SHE was single-handedly saving me from our evil director. But after enough experiences with her, and talking to others who confirmed her lies, I realized SHE was the problem: not me. Approached the director who I thought didn’t like me (she does like me), and asked to be transferred to a different manager. It’s helped tremendously… however, on my bad days, I can’t quite shake the creeping feeling that they’re all against me. My current, great manager is being nice? It’s a front; he’s playing the long game so he can catch me being a bad employee. They’re building a case against me. Multiple managers “on a call” at once? They’re discussing what to do about “The [Me] Problem.” Computer acting strange? They’re secretly monitoring me. Honestly, even though I’m well-liked and have been here for 3y+, I don’t think I’ll be able to fully move past the background paranoia until I leave and go elsewhere. I suspect that it’ll still be a struggle then, but hopefully less so.

[@charc2968]

I’m having voices in my head. And they want to harm me. I just moved and they followed me and I’m sure they are real They are out for me.

[@jeremymaez5311]

​@@charc2968hey just wanted to send you some love. I hope they go away soon and that you find some peace ❤

[@charc2968]

@@jeremymaez5311 thank you appreciate it. Some people just donot understand

[@Amen99109]

The most difficult part for me living with SCHIZOPHRENIA is not having energy and being depressed and feeling hollow.

[@Slidehhy]

Everyday all day for me it's a shocking illness hope you are keeping well

[@katiempojer]

Thank you showing the real light on schizophrenic spectrum disorders. Im a psych social worker and I adore my patients with schizophrenia. They are bright intelligent engaging individuals. Braver than brave! I have been part of three full recoveries seeing them go back to college hold down full time normal jobs. Navigating through normal situations. I cry with joy

[@kevinwoolcock6881]

The biggest challenge I have with my schizoaffective disorder is keeping my house clean and organized. Most of the time my house is messy and cluttered and I have a difficult time navigating through it.

[@dawnmarkiewicz1916]

My problem as well 😢

[@80islandia]

Thanks for bringing this up. I struggle with cleaning and organizing as well. I found the book "How to Keep House While Drowning" by KC Davis to be helpful and comforting, as the author starts by exploring the darker emotions (guilt, shame, etc.) that come up for people who have difficulty with care tasks and illuminates common issues in family systems that have led to stress/trauma around cleaning. KC is neurodivergent and supports the concept of a "functioning" home as opposed to a "perfect" one, which is great for those of us that tend toward all-or-nothing thinking.

[@80islandia]

@@o.e.lawrence4198 I love your idea of making short playlists! That’s a great hack for getting motivated and is something that can be controlled/prepared ahead of time. Thanks for sharing :)

[@nicolechristmas9132]

I do too and some hygiene struggles as of recent. The housekeep has been a struggle my whole life but worse now that I have my own place. It sucks because I hate it and would love to have a clean airy space. It's so much better for your mind. I'm not schizoaffective but I'm bipolar l

[@janetslater129]

I don't have schizoaffective disorder, but do have PTSD. I would also love to have a clean apartment. I have always been a messy person, but what REALLY sucks is my memory of where I put stuff. Years ago, my room would be messy, but at least I could usually find things right away. Now, I can literally put something in my hand, put it down for a minute, then completely forget where I had *JUST* put it. It irritates me to no end, and makes me think that I REALLY do need to clean more often (I'll do a few basic things, like wash dishes or do laundry), but then I don't, and the process just repeats itself. Gah.......

[@india1422]

I have a traumatic history. I have mental health issues, depression rather than an illness with psychosis. If I'm alone in the house at night I'm convinced a man knows. This man knows where to find me and he will break into my house when I'm sleeping ( so I don't sleep) tmrape, torture and kill me. I know I'm being irrational but it makes no difference. This gives me a tiny, tiny insight into what it must be like to have paranoid delusions. I'm also a former psychiatric nurse and have clearly seen people who are very distressed. I've always felt that we need to talk more, much more, about mental health issues. This channel is a wonderful resource. It heartens me to know that while there is such a long way to go, this channel is reaching a wider audience.

[@lucyscreamsintothevoid]

The part about lack of emotion really resonates with me. My wife often thinks I am mad at her or being mean when I simply am flat.

[@candicehughes4233]

I hate it when people looked terrified at you when they find out you have schizophrenia

[@Agnes_B96]

I don’t have schizophrenia but mood disorder and I get delusional thinking often too and the feeling that I don’t trust my own mind. I agree that it is the hardest.

[@justmeonly986]

I have major depressive disorder and have many of these symptoms without delusions or hallucinations. It almost sounds like the same mental illness minus just a couple of the symptoms. I've been watching you for a long time and for the first time I realize there is really a crossover in these mental illnesses.

[@mohammedbaban-rm5wv]

how long have you been treated for your illness, because I have got depression for a year now and it all started as a result of an unhealthy lifestile and that is not going outside almost at all and only studying all day long and I even played with my nutrition wrongly, I'd been suffering from palpitation for the first four months and afterward it vanished but subsequently I got a headache and intrusive, pesky thoughts and depression and I've been in this state for 8 months now, what puzzling me is that when I go to the psychiatrist he doesn't seem to care about my condition, he only levels up the doses and tells me everything is going to be ok, nonetheless when I get out of him nothing seems ok to me, could you add something of your experience that might be helpful, thanks and please forgive mt english if it looks odd cause my mother language is arabic

[@melinaburkhardt421]

​@@mohammedbaban-rm5wvMy recent encounter with a psychiatrist ended similiarly: Higher dose and no real interest in anything concerning my lifestyle. So sad.

[@justmeonly986]

I am 67 years old and have been treated for depression since I'm around 17. Depressive symptoms were known at a younger age but I had concurrent migraines so it was confusing. I have been on every, or nearly every treatment available. Available. I also use electric stem and magnetic treatments. These are new or newer to me. I know electric stem has worked in the past, but I'm using the magnetic implements now so we'll see how that works. So the truth of the matter is, I have been in a state of depression or major depression for 50 years. It is devastating, difficult to function, and took away a lot of my life. My psychiatrist now is on top of it and completely available to me. I am in a highly depressive state now because I have some major changes I have to exact within the next couple months. So you can understand a little bit about what you are going through, anxiety and palpitations are part of the global depression manifestations. It takes a lot of time, a lot of care to ease symptoms. I found my symptoms ease during pregnancy and post pregnancy. I think the hormonal bursts were very good for me. But my daughter is a grown woman who lives far away and I don't have a husband or a partner. So the depression winds up being my partner. I don't like him. In fact I hate him. But I can't get rid of him. It's like we're in some contractual marriage that should never have been entered into. Please feel free to talk with me. I just jumped on their new website on discord as justme.

[@mohammedbaban-rm5wv]

​ @justmeonly986 I think out of your invaluable comment the most statement that seemed the most beneficial to my case is that you have been suffering from depression for 50 years from when you were 17. I'm saying this because I'm only 28 and never ever had anything wrong prior to that with respect to my health condition, the psychiatrist informed me once that my case isn't worrying and once I finish my studying I will gradually begin to feel relief, I truly felt and still feeling some relief every now and then since I finished the last final exam which was 42 days from today, however I don't feel an overall relief and the day-to-day life is still a challenging task to live

[@damianjones6546]

This has been my theory too. I think sometimes having such different names for mental health issues causes a lot of confusion. I don't seem to have the delusional thinking that can be associated with schizophrenia, but I have been hearing voices for the past 5 years. The only thing that has helped me is SNRI's. Making sure I get regular sleep, using melatonin or Noradrenaline boosting medications to help with sleep. Noradrenaline boosting medications only seem to be prescribed for people diagnosed with ADHD as it helps with execution functioning. But most people with long term mental health issues will probably have executive function problems. The issue I have with anti psychotics is most of them have an anti histamine component that is severely sedating for me. I seem to cope much better with the Noradrenaline medications and I'm able to function the next day.

[@CourageousDissociation]

I really needed this video. I sometimes feel like the only symptoms of schizophrenia that get recognized are the positive symptoms when the negative have been so debilitating to me since I've been managing my positive symptoms with Risperdal. This week I have felt so overpowered by my negative symptoms. Sometimes they become so paralyzing or exhausting. I feel like one of the lucky ones though because my psychiatrist has given me stimulants to help even though the research on using them in schizophrenia is small. I do believe they have helped me a ton. But some weeks, those still can't get me motivated or out of bed. I don't know anyone else with schizophrenia and sometimes it can feel so isolating.

[@Slidehhy]

It's a hell of a disorder i dont know how longer I can cope

[@mohammedbaban-rm5wv]

Despite my mother language isnt english, im quite sure even if it was i wouldnt be able to pick the words to express my emotions towards you guys, even though depresion has devastated me so far but i believe you suffer way more than me, whenever i think im a tough guy i will always remind myself that there are guys tougher than me, i love you guys and i wish i can do something for you, i love you my heros

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

I deal with this by keeping going on even though I feel that I don’t know why or what it’s all for or about. Remembering that life is honestly so very difficult for so many people on the planet helps me put a more realistic value on my personal difficulties in life. For sure there are many willing to judge me and many more with their versions of what is acceptable or not and for me knowing that an individual is so willing to judge me as someone that has no value because of a mental illness or that I am underperforming at some material aspects in life, it only helps me decide who is positive to keep in my life.

[@Slidehhy]

@@jacquelineleitch7050 how are you how do you cope i find it very difficult living with this I'm 22

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

@@Slidehhy Hi 22. Well because you are young you have a lot going for you. You don’t stop living your life number one. Examine your goals and put them on paper. Now see what you need help with to get out of life what is going to provide you with happiness and a sense of longevity. You don’t stop having ideas, you just need to give yourself an outline of step by step how to achieve those things. You need to do that because you need to look at what you are doing each time you may feel that you are going to slow or that there is some set back. If your family can be supportive that is super but it may not always be so or they may need convincing as you take on your life. Get support from a social worker with disability knowledge and what you can do with that ti get some training for work that you want or experience. There should be some support there even if minimal. The more that you try to get yourself into a settled !(and perhaps sometimes boring to you?) place to live and have reasonable nutrition the more likely your family will feel less stressed in helping you out. In other words nothing really needs to change in how you live your life or wanting to reach some attainable goals but that you just need to extend the timeline a little. If you take a course for a job skill, look at taking a few classes at a time rather than cramming. You will get there in the end and be just as good as anyone else with that ticket. Your daily job is to keep stress at a minimum so that when things pile up and you are certain that you are out of your flipping head and the voices cram in and you think that you must go back to the psych ward, just try to get some rest. Force yourself to sit for an hour or five and see how you feel at the end of that. I used Ativan in the early days to relax with and put me to sleep if zinged set off a party in my head. I have chosen Orthomolecular megavitamins and a sugar free diet as a form of treatment but whatever treatment you chose stay in touch with yourself and your doctor with how it’s going for you.

[@amcname494]

I don't have schizophrenia nor know anybody who does but, when I listen to you I just think you are just the most courageous person I have ever seen. You are just amazing.

[@lucyscreamsintothevoid]

One thing I really struggle with is not knowing if something I am experiencing is a symptom. I’ll hear a noise and get upset trying to decide if it’s a hallucination or not. That also feeds into my anosognosia at times. I feel like I can’t trust my senses.

[@ciaramartinez1542]

Not sure, if this will help, but maybe next time you can ask someone, if they heard something.. maybe it was a hallucination...maybe it was something outside..you'll have to learn to discern and decide what to do when you can't discern... like, if you can't figure it out, maybe try not to stress about it too much and let it go.

[@ciaramartinez1542]

Also, ask a professional for some coping skills as to what to do when that happens, so you don't get anxiety or anything like that

[@ciaramartinez1542]

God bless ❤

[@jacklynch8915]

The same way alot of the time with my hallucinations. I might hear a sound or a voice is the background and makes me question reality and if it is real or a hallucination

[@goddammitboi]

Does it matter if it's real?...

[@fatelessdancer36mom]

The lack of emotion wether internally or externally is one of the hardest things for me.

[@scmontgomery]

I absolutely agree. For me the absolute most difficult part is actually accepting and acknowledging that i have this disorder. Close behind is the apathy, lack of emotional control, and accepting that i cant just do things i want to. Im struggling to accept the idea that i cant work the way i want to, because i have 15 years of evident that i just cant handle keeping a job. It brings mw down so much and feeds into the delusions that im juat lazy and malingering.

[@deborajensen8637]

First I want to assure you that my suggestion might not work for you And that is okay. But it worked for me, I found a organization that I really wanted to support I didn't have money but because I couldn't hold down a job I had lots of time. They did different things on different days, so if I didn't want to talk to people they had a job for that. The same thing went for large crowds, or small crowds. Or two hours per week vs twenty. We shared bag lunches some days, gave out food and clothes on others. Like pets try the humane society or animal control or foster animals. The idea is find something you believe it contact them and see how you may be able to help out. But remember while this works for me today I may not be able to do it tomorrow, that is why I am always upfront with the director, that way I don't have to lie about why I can't come in. Hopefully this helps if not today maybe tomorrow. The best of luck.💕

[@melinaburkhardt421]

It has been fifteen years for me too.

[@damianjones6546]

I totally understand about work. I've struggled with it my whole life. What I've found is that I want to be able to work when I feel ok and have the energy. Being forced to work over the years when I wasn't well has damaged my mental and physical health. I have been working on starting a small woodworking business. It has been very slow going over the past 3 years but it is getting there, maybe slower than I had hoped! Anyway recently I was diagnosed as ADHD, so I am hoping that the dopamine boosting medications prescribed will give me some motivation and energy to get on with things.

[@spiralseashell]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences! I do not have schizophrenia, but I have very severe OCD, and I find your videos so comforting and helpful. Your videos make me feel less alone, especially in regards to the "less common" symptoms and ways of thinking I experience, and have even given me some things to try! You're so brave for doing this work! Thank you!

[@mohammedbaban-rm5wv]

Can i know at what age you got your ocd

[@spiralseashell]

@@mohammedbaban-rm5wv Hi there, I have had OCD, and some other disorders, since early childhood.

[@timaj6580]

Compulsive thinking and worrying have been a real struggle in the two members of my family with schizoaffective disorder.

[@norse_cat]

Same, had ocd since around probably 7 or 8.

[@courtneygrier2015]

I have severe OCD too. Diagnosed at 13! The symptoms of it and schizophrenia can be pretty similar and I remember mistaking the two. Either one is so debilitating! (My obsessions are health related, namely worried that i'll never sleep again. I'll go 80 to 100 hours without sleep. My compulsion is to seek reassurance that i'm not crazy or dying..i've called my therapist, a suicide hotline, even my boss. I sleep only when i was too tired to feel anxious).. I'm better with meds years later but going off of them AT ALL is a huge no no.

[@oliverjohnson6649]

Paranoia is the worst for me. Medication doesn’t seem to touch this symptom. Even after the other positive symptoms have diminished, the paranoia is still there.

[@HansGruber006]

What is paranoia?

[@nicolechristmas9132]

Could you possibly have PTSD as well?

[@HabibeBoyraz-hg2nk]

Dialectic behavioral therapy helps

[@WDBsirLocksight]

@@Vincent-mindeye it what happens when you start hacking into the system. just unplug from the matrix 😎

[@surethabadenhorst]

Hope you're doing okay Lauren ❤ You look a bit sad, wish you nothing but the best, energy and good health. Lots of love 🌼 you beautiful human

[@michelledank8692]

I’ve been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. I think the hardest part for me is believing I can achieve things anyone else can. I feel like I can’t trust my thoughts, therefore I never make the leap to achieve the things I want to go for. I hope that makes sense 😅

[@wayneanderson8034]

It makes perfect sense, I have been living exactly that for 24 years. It never gets better. On the other hand, attitude is a choice. Every day, I choose to be optimistic, even though logic says I have nothing to be optimistic about.

[@chinchilla836]

I have schizoaffective disorder and my hardest challenges aren't the positive symptoms but rather the negative/cognitive issues. I just haven't felt the same. The lack of motivation, hardly caring about anything, and the inability to concentrate. I'm on year 6 of trying to get my bachelors in environmental engineering because of the many medical petitions I've had to file for different semesters. I should be graduating in a year though and very thankful for my academic advisors and family for always being there for me

[@AusNetFan13]

Lauren. I'm speaking for myself. However others may agree. Regardless of your situation, I find you very warm and caring. Love your voice. It's just hard not to love you. No matter what you feel, my heart's the same. I also give a warm friendship to Rob. Believe it or not, he married well. I'll listen to what you say. Lauren, please take care.

[@hagyagaygsaygsy-jd3qf]

Thank you so much for starting this channel and continuing to post videos. Your channel is so amazing and I have learnt so much from it. I am honestly so grateful to have found your channel and am really proud of you for talking about your experiences despite the stigma. It is really inspiring to me. This video was very relatable to me and made me feel less alone. I was wondering if you could make a video about accepting a schizophrenia diagnosis for people who are newly diagnosed?

[@jenjencannon3224]

Go back to the early vids :)

[@emilyethier1092]

The hardest symptom for me is the constant paranoia and delusions. And when I’m not paranoid, I get paranoid about not being paranoid. Like it’s hard to feel safe and okay.

[@M.Sid9.3]

Thank you. I relate so much to snapping back to reality and facing the shocking consequences of actions/neglect and feeling heavy shame and guilt. I don't believe we are accountable at all in psychosis. It was like being an innocent child.

[@melinaburkhardt421]

What a wonderful explanation, very comforting.

[@vincentschena1992]

Okay I am not schizo I've had numerous hallucinations tactile visual auditory and extreme delusions of grandeur that I have actually extracted from the epidermis and brought into reality Schizophrenia means once your heart fails to beat you will be going to torcher chamber hell schizos

[@kelleysmith5055]

Thank you for being so honest and open.

[@liselottenormannsrensen7867]

My mother inlaw has schizophrenia. I love her a lot and I have an agreement with her, that I tell her, nicely, when im in doubt about her feelings and the things she thinks others say or think about her. It doesn't always work, but often it helps stopping her suspicious thoughts❤

[@GayleenFroese]

I've been saying for years that I think severe depression has a huge avolition component. I watched a medical school lecture about studies that showed an actual neurological disconnect between "I should/want to/am going to" and actually doing the thing. The signals don't get through, or don't get through as well. It was a relief to learn this because I used to feel guilty about feeling like I "couldn't" get up.

[@allyzagarma9503]

Could u share the link of the video?

[@GayleenFroese]

@@allyzagarma9503 It was a podcast... I'll see if I can find it but I was listening to a ton of those podcasts at the time so it'll take digging.

[@visionvixxen]

What you mentioned- trusting your own mind and narratives.it’s HUGE. I can’t make any decisions because I don’t know when or what to trust…. It’s HUGE!

[@Srindal4657]

There really should be more research into this kind of disorder. I believe MRI's should be researched in terms of interpreting brain scans. It could provide authenticity to legitimate cases and could reassure people who suffer with schizophrenia that they will get the help they need.

[@otiliathiel623]

Yes, now we have the technology , and the awareness of this important needs...😊

[@gigahorse1475]

There’s lots of research being done on schizophrenia, including with various imaging techniques.

[@dankie8617]

Yeah I hope that. I believe I was misdiagnosed with sz…

[@YellinHelenP]

Hi Lauren, my sister and father have paranoid schizophrenia and now my only child had a psychotic break which is beyond devastating. That is why I am here. To gain courage and insight should her progression head her down this path. I am so curious if you have heard how the FDA in the States is expected to approve a medication that has done wonders on the negative symptoms? It's supposed to be a breakthrough because none of the meds have been able to improve the negative symptoms much. It's made by Karuna and it's called KarXT. I would look into it just for knowledge sake, but also for considerations because maybe it would remove the flatness in expression and the loss of experiencing feelings at times.... my heart goes out to you and those who have suffered mightily form this illness.

[@christiemyers5377]

❤

[@IdkIdk-gw3qo]

this is why i am scared to have kids my dad and brother r both schizophrenic but i am not but what if my future child gets it?? I dont know what i should do

[@madelynhernandez7453]

I hope its not another good but severely harmful drug to the brain..

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

If it helps at all with regard to hereditary aspects of mental illness, statistics say that when mental illness is pre-existing in a family that the kids can have it worse than their parents but that they also have a better prognosis in terms of recovery due to all the information and experiences of their family members who have previously charted the territory. For instance, my brother and several other extended family have developed schizophrenia and so when I was diagnosed I was already aware that I put a lot more confidence in the research of Othomolecular medicine and Dr. Abrahm Hoffer than the forms of medication offered by pharmaceutical companies who were medicating the symptoms but not the biochemical base line which created the symptoms. So I made the personal decision not to take medication but to use vitamins, sugar free diet, rest and exercise and a healthy lifestyle to reflect a basic, sometimes boring but better chance at stability. Of course there have been ups and downs and it’s not perfect but my prognosis has been not too horrible if of course not everything in life that is important to me. Again I take a philosophical approach to life and do wallow in misery but I know how important it is to work at struggling with the world, if on my own terms of what is acceptable and safe and effective.

[@vladimirsolovyov666]

​@@IdkIdk-gw3qoYour child would have a 15% chance to have the disorder also. Normally it would be 10% but seeing as how both your father and brother have it, it's higher.

[@sharonhl2575]

Hi Lauren! I'm learning so much from your channel. I have MS, but some of the things you mention resonate w/ me. My cognitive issues make me question myself constantly. My fatigue & depression make it hard to start tasks let alone finish them. I know it's not at all the same as what you go through, but know that what you discuss helps others beyond the schizophrenic community. All best! 🥰

[@DavidBowman-mq1bm]

I too have Multiple Sclerosis. I understand the overwhelming fatiguecand pain that is so every present I'm your reality. Take care 🙂.

[@flozora2569]

I also have MS and can identify with many of these issues. My son is schizophrenic and listening to your videos, has been a great source of understanding for me. Thanks Lauren, looking forward to more of your videos x

[@Cass_772]

You are beautiful inside/out and courageous to be able to talk about this with so much transparency. Thank you! My 22yo's son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and it is really difficult. In his state, the dialogue is really difficult to understand and I struggle to know what I should say or not say, I want to be there for him but sometimes, it can be really violent and hard on self-estime, I always feel like I am a bad mother or bad support. I think that if we could have better help from the doctors and nurses, it would help ALOT

[@emepleez]

you are genuinely helping/teaching so many people...... those with a disorder, those who know someone with a disorder or those of us in the field. You have a very eloquent way of putting things..... Thank You

[@gabriellavercammen3071]

My mother has been suffering from that illness. It affected my whole life to the point that I made the decision not to have kids. Because it could be hereditary. The medication never helped ,so much has been surged for. Love my mother, but it broke me. My whole life is still turning around her and taking care of her😢

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

Thank You 💐😊🎉 Lauren and all who contributed.

[@TravisOLeary]

Thank you. Your videos tend to be a grounding experience for me. Like, oh yeah I am Ill. I forgot lol. That's why this or that happens. It's good don't worry. The reality is I'm Ill. And accepting that is important.

[@amyjones8613]

Flat effect. Normally I am low moody person. I get confused when I feel joyful and think I'm getting mania. Now I have scitzoaffective disorder depression type (not bipolar) Getting motivated to do hygiene even sad really. My delusions get exhausting. I hope everything is OK with you❤

[@mariaeugenia578]

I don't have schizophrenia, but I had depression for a few years and a psycothic episode, and the delusions were DEFINETLY the worst. I've never felt so terrified in my entire life, for such a long period of time, it was a few months nonstop, I thought my parents were trying to kill me, and in general nothing was safe, inside home or out. I can't even imagine having to deal with that for years and years on and off. I don't think I would be able to function at all and would probably end up on the streets. Wich is unfortunately what happens to a lot of people with schizophrenia. I still have periods of time in wich I don't recognize anything in my life and everything seems fake and I don't trust the people that I love and try to help me, but are very slim, compared to before, and I don't use any kind of medication. But even when I'm in a sound mind, when I get confused, I automatically doubt my own mind, cause I don't fully trust it anymore, I can relate a lot to that.

[@foodietravelists]

May I know what helped for the condition to improve?

[@baileyhallfilms]

it was awesome hearing all of everybody's perspective and experience and lauren's feedback on her struggles too.

[@raxchapanceps8618]

I have ocd and not having trust in my thoughts is killing me . I feel you !

[@Agnes_B96]

I have severe OCD too. I can relate to this too well. Sending you strength!

[@tabicat1975]

I don't personally have schizophrenia, but I had an aunt who did. It was very difficult for her. She was raised in a time and environment where her family didn't understand the illness. They just thought she was a "screwball". I hated that and as a child i became close to her. We would take bike rides and walks together. I miss her very much, but honestly, I'm glad she doesn't have to suffer and be treated like she's a 'problem' anymore! I have chronic pain and anxiety/ depression. I obviously don't have psychosis. What i DO have is an inability to trust my body. I can relate in this way. It's hard. It sucks. I'm still working on it. I'm a recovering people pleaser and I'm working on boundaries. I have to listen my body to keep the pain maintained at a tolerable level. It's so hard! I was a NICU RN for 16 years! I thought that was my calling in life until injuries and excruciating pain 'took over". I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not working and bringing home an income. I feel guilty i can't babysit my grandkiddos, etc. I feel a lot of guilt! I'm a work in progress and always will be. Just like everyone else on this planet. Thank you SO much for sharing your life with us! You are incredibly brave and i acknowledge you!! ❤❤❤

[@whitneysawyer483]

Interesting video...thanks for educating us on Schizophrenia.

[@YukikoAimiyo]

For me the hardest part if the fuzzy difficult to concentrate fog in my brain. I always said when it first started that "if thinking were walking, then my head is full of molasses." And I still stand by that description.

[@leonalii1533]

I so admire your strength and way of communicating the difficulties of your life in such an articulated and balanced way. . I am here to better understand the struggles my son who is no longer with us had. Wish you all the best!❤

[@mohammedbaban-rm5wv]

It is fascinating how articulate she is despite her debilitating illness

[@jenjencannon3224]

What a gift you are to the Mental Health community Lauren!! I am so sorry that you ended up with this disorder, but the combination of lived experience, mixed with your clarity and your desire to educate! Wow, what a powerful advocate and professional you are. Families and Mental Health Workers both rely so much upon your commitment to sharing your insight. 🎉

[@shani_sth]

I personally relate BPD (and my screening at my local hospital also seem to suggest that this is what I might suffer from - no official diagnosis yet). I honestly am just interested in all kinds of mental disorders and psychology, and this is why I love to watch these videos, lol. But what resonated with me was the "something might/is wrong with me". For the longest time in my life I KNEW something is wrong with my mental health. I always thought "something isn't right with me". But I never had a clue what it might be until earlier this year.

[@Novemberrain111]

My brother passed away w skitz. He boared all his windows up and lived in his house in the dark for 2 years. He always said he was waiting for a ship to pick him up & had to have a code to get on it. Watching him go through skitz was heart breaking. Life w skitz is bleak. I miss him so Much!

[@jhors7777]

Great to hear from you. You are an excellent communicator.

[@chococake]

I agree avolition is the absolute worst! Nothing is worse than wanting or needing to do something, but being unable to for, what feels like, no reason.

[@ahmettunc788]

Apathy is the worst

[@Eurafrican]

This is such a good video. I just adore this channel. I struggle with Schizophrenia. Even though I'm on medication, I still experience mild paranoia, but thankfully no hallucinations or delusions. I'm hoping CBT and EMDR therapy I'm due to start will improve my paranoia. I identified with all the feelings/symptoms Lauren outlines in this video. Particularly alogia. I feel muted and as if though there's no joy or emotion in anything. I get severely depressed following my psychotic episodes. But I too have benefitted from peer support and I work as a peer support worker. It's deeply rewarding work, and I've seen my work enable recoveries which is priceless.

[@medo_pg7786]

It's great that you can be useful to others. Keep going!

[@karenb7620]

I really enjoy your information and honesty. It really helps shape the mental health narrative positively.

[@BezaidaV]

Such a helpful / educational and encouraging video. Please do more you’re amazing!!

[@alexandermatthewsmusic]

The very worst symptom for me is paranoia and anxiety and the delusions that come with them 😞

[@denysephenix2349]

thank you so much for sharing.. you are a very beautiful person with a very kind heart.. You have helped me understand myself better and I am sure you have helped many others. , in my name and theirs , many many thanks

[@chandrisodergren7209]

Lauren, thank you from a mother's heart. You definitely help me understand my daughter who is having Schizophrenia

[@tamar151295]

You are amazing person lauren ❤ thank you so much for your videos and your sharings. And your wisdom. I have scizoeffective too, and I'm dealing with it more than 10 years. I'm now changing my meds because my balance is not so good right now. you are definitely giving me support and a feeling that I'm not alone, that their are people how experience similar effects and symptoms like me. And I'm very thankful 🙏⭐️😊💛✨️🙌

[@abdirizaksaid7957]

I used to take olanzapine many years for schizophrenia and now am on paliperidone but still delusions are part of my every day life. Thanks for creating this content.

[@Andi-tx1rl]

I love your videos. They are so vulnerable & extremely educational. It's a beautiful thing you're giving the world. ❤

[@chadgarrett6947]

I am slow to this one, but I believe everyone who is the partner of someone with this illness needs to listen to this video. It will shed a lot of light on why we do what we do. Understanding is such a powerful tool!

[@xylh5085]

Long-term goal follow through is especially difficult because my brain does everything it can to crush my motivation or hopes for the future. On many days, it takes every last drop of energy just to survive the day. Sometimes it's easygoing and smooth. This inconsistency poses many challenges.

[@prosoporific]

Just want to thank this channel and grace digital network channel and will pray that those in need find good thoughts

[@evieashe01]

Hi. I really like your videos. My worst aspect. Of dealing with my schizoaffective disorder is my lack of really existing or feeling as if I do. And not being in any kind of position to make decisions that matter, I feel as if I don’t even exist or matter to almost every one in my life and that they have disappeared and it’s hard to fathom all that I’ve done throughout my military career and after my life changing injury 30 years ago. Sorry for rambling but thank you for your helpful info!!

[@horisontial]

Love the videos and thanks for continuously helping to inform and normalise/destigmatise mental health issues Lauren & co :) I am not using the peer aspect online as much as some might, I am doing schema therapy with a group and I'm very lucky to have quite informed and open-minded people around me, but I do use these videos to learn how to better establish a conversation with my family to help them understand me, when I am unable to express myself at times. So thank you.

[@MaorZikaeev]

Hi, I absolutely adore you. You gave me so much perspective. I'm living with schizophrenia as well, and it was insanely hard for me for the first 5 years or so the doctor prescribed me with I guess 15 different meds that made sedated, and my family didn't understood me.. now I'm well. The hardest thing for me is processing every input I get l, conversation I had things I've seen smelled and so on, after my psychotic episod I realised that none of my senses are reliable for meand I have to always confront my reality.

[@nuriaarsenio4717]

The most difficulty for me having a mental illness is the side effects. I still struggle with that. I don't hear voices anymore I used to, it took 10 years for the voices to dissappear. And I am trying to manage my stress. If I am really stressed I may have a hallucinations here and there but is rare. But I am in good place now with this disease. And I don't let it control me. Don't stop taking the medication that's my advice, it takes a long time for the symptoms to dissappear but if you do a lot of research and don't believe in the voices, delusions and hallucinations. You can have a good quality of life.

[@lisagardner903]

What did the voices say and what did they sound like?

[@kathrynkiffmann7833]

Would LOVE for you to share some nutritional triggers as it could really help a lot of people. For instance, carbs-particularly sugar, potato chips-can actually trigger symptoms. Also, HIIT (high intensity interval training) can help quite a bit. I’ve been researching the KETO diet for a few years, and many people-have had exponential improvement. As a parent of somebody with mental health disorders, a sufferer myself and a Psych researcher, its been pivotal in managing symptoms. Love your page. Thanks for being here for people.

[@Devon-p9q]

She has helped me be a better person towards my health and life but not just me but she has helped me ask more questions and embrace those around me and in my community. ❤

[@ericchapman3802]

Same on the delusional. Plus thinking there is something more to what people say or do. I read body language ok but sometimes it gets away from me and I'm not sure if I'm reading it right.

[@jordan-kb9wt]

Sometimes at bedtime I have a dark night of the soul, and feel assaulted by guilty memories and mental constipation. Having an emergency bottle of Jägermeister in the cupboard brought me great peace of mind. Hopefully I'll never have to resort to that. I'm glad I have found a way to reassure myself, when others fail.

[@Tiwy1001]

I dont feel so alone after these videos

[@johndooley8524]

You touched on the skepticism you developed toward non bizarre delusions that you then carried over toward all your experience. The literature brings this up in the idea of "double bookkeeping," which is the knowledge you are experiencing two worlds at one, the "real" world and the delusional world. Having to figure out what is real is definitely a major problem.

[@allieneverything]

I think your explanation of the subtle delusional symptoms hitting most when having conflict with a partner is EXAAAACTLY how I feel. I can’t tell you how many times my husband has been like wtf are you gaslighting me or something and I’m like what? No! It’s so frustrating

[@iam3pplmyob231]

My family member who's suffering from this disorder and refusing to take the medicine because they've said it's poison. I see the difference in them when we can get them to take it. Thank you for continual information.

[@gracebates3336]

The worst bit of having been diagnosed with being mentally ill is that you are viewed as a bad person by medical staff and disbelieve d when you are physically ill. When you recover or receive a more fitting diagnosis the record is never wiped. It's worse that having been to jail in many ways.

[@maryanna71701]

You have some great videos, but this has got to be one of the best for me. My son is the one with Schizoaffective disorder. I think he would gain a lot from this video, but he is currently locked up. TBH… in the past the Schizoaffective disorder and leach access or difficulty with access to professional help has influenced him to turn to street drugs which made everything more difficult and influenced him to do illegal things.

[@JodyBurris-uk7ko]

I enjoy listening to you this is a very real mental illness. I am always looking for more ways to control it. Thank you

[@robotaholic]

Self confidence can really be a problem for some people like myself and I don't even have schizophrenia. I can imagine how confidence in oneself could be difficult if you do. You seem confident though and successful and you fight to stay healthy and happy.

[@Jonothan-m5j]

Its just tuff and you have to be tuff .no medication no therapy no out thinking it will make it go away completely it comes and goes i pray alot and do what I have to do to get through another day.may God be with all of us

[@dennisperkins4784]

Ahh another crazy day drive to the store and everybody is watching me .but got outta my house today yay

[@jennygInspired]

God, a lot of the ones she read out loud, I 100% relate to. My emotional affect is definitely a big one. I'll feel it on the inside but won't show on the outside. Worrying that everyone can tell something is off about you, completely. Test taking can really suck, not because of cognitive issues but more or less the voices get insecure and even louder than normal.

[@stevenciesiel777]

I don’t have schizophrenia but I do have ocd anxiety disorder with intrusive thoughts. I can definitely relate to what you are going through

[@samplastik13]

It's awesome to see you out of hospital. Nice video BTW 😊

[@ShaunLovesMaths]

I relate to these a lot, especially the negative symptoms. I get those "breakthrough positive symptoms" on occasion too.

[@MelissaC-by5tn]

Definitely hearing voices and visual hallucinations is worst for me! I’m on a high dose of Clozapine too

[@matthewbevan3516]

Thank you I realate to every word it helps so much to know and understand so much more clarity we ar not alone 🕊️ 🐝🙏

[@PamelaEgan01]

"The unreliable internal narrator" -- wow, you're so articulate. Brilliant.

[@grahamhardie6853]

Great video and very informative I think you are on the road to recovery and wish you and your family all the best 👍

[@suzannealsop3394]

For me the most difficult is when I come out of psychosis and realise my delusional thoughts were delusional. Also feeling tired all the time because of medication.

[@carmelittanewby9188]

I am grateful for your videos and the examples of how life can be. I am not fully diagnosed, & schizoaffective depression an bipolar type are a maybe for me. The descriptions I hear do make sense to me. I have a lot of stigma interfering. All I can do is try. I am now prescribed a depression medication and a low dose anti physcotic. The anti psychotic has HELPED slow my mind which is AWESOME. I just wish the drs would come up with a solid diagnosis. Thanks for your videos❤

[@Srindal4657]

The hardest part of schizophrenia for me is the experiences i have, which either result in delusions or create new delusions. Experiences like constant time loops or experiencing that im some kind of leader or being in a fire of a well known event or building. The hardest part is not being able to distinguish reality from fiction

[@MrBob58o]

Ive been trying to figure things out. Family history of mental illness, traumatic childhood, recent failed spine surgery, I was a pedestrian hit by a car, had second spine surgery that left me with a paralyzed vocal cord for a while, plus in the middle of all this my mother passed away. I feel like I was always struggling connecting to others, but since the surgeries, car accident, death of mother, I feel like my mental health is getting worse. Panic and anxiety attacks, paranoia, isolation, depression… I got to a point where I had delusions thinking my family was involved in the wild elaborate terrible things. When pressured or stressed during a conversation I sometimes have comments in my head. Hard to tell if it’s my own internal monologue sometimes. Visual hallucinations might be small things like “maybe a bug was on the carpet” or maybe “that was a flea” on the dog. For me dealing with chronic physical pain from spine damage in neck and back, and stress from recent failed surgeries, and everything else has pushed me into isolation. Hardest part for me, what ever my diagnosis, is fear that things will get worse.

[@rosiellagrace]

What you were describing around the 3:00 mark was so eloquently said, gotta kinda bookmark it. 🐚🐚

[@moi-ev3pi]

I don't know what i have, but most difficult things in my life now is maybe the way i can't control myself with my emotions. For example when i'm angry i hit myself so hard i might start bleeding. Also i can't think nowdays, it's hard to process what people are saying to me. I can't remember many things anymore and i forget what i have to do. I also feel like my head is empty somehow and i can't feel much emotions or show emotions. But the stress is probably worst thing in my life right now, i have to stress about everything and stupid things. I feel unlucky and i feel like someone maybe god gives me unluck in my life and it makes me feel hopeless.

[@christyme6395]

I'm trying to understand. I have similar symptoms with voices, seeing patterns and being "delusional" but it's a positive for me. I talk to people all the time who claim to live in the "afterlife." They're very nice, helpful, loving and they tell me I'm a part of their family. Sometimes they even give me information I couldn't have known such as telling me I had a major physical illness before any tests were run. I've learned to meditate, I go off into the "afterlife" with them and have amazing experiences of love and peace. I don't experience reality the way most people do and it seems "less solid" than it should but I love the people I talk to. They help me through so much and I still do all the daily things I need to without issue. Am I wrong to see it as a blessing instead of a curse?

[@earthschool7846]

I really struggle with accepting i have schizophrenia and anosignosia is prevalent but when i go out society and everything seems magnified and triggering . Also i would like to ad that some places are more triggering than others. I would definitely recommend moving where u feel u have the most peace. Thank u for all u do for people with mental challenges. Yes. Delusion thinking is my biggest struggle

[@alphadog3384]

That seems somewhat similar to individuals with borderline personality disorder or depression or anxiety. Communication the chain of events (the gray area) your so well spoken.

[@lmagas-om9dp]

Hi Lauren. I’ve been hoping you’re ok since your last episode.

[@lmagas-om9dp]

Your eyes look sad…

[@loricat5606]

​@@lmagas-om9dpIt could be sadness, and from what I've seen her say on the channel before, it could also just be blunted or dysregulated affect and/or facial expressions in general. She mentioned in a previous video that in hospital they had to increase medication dosages among other changes, so that'd make sense if that is what is happening. Similarly, a recent episode and/or increases or changes in medication can make someone more tired, which can look like sadness. It could also be that she's still recovering, which can produce a similar effect of appearing (or/and actually being) sad.

[@ponyguy99]

Firstly, thank you for your videos. I think you answered my question at the end of the video, but for you personally, do you ever think that thinking and maybe dwelling on your illness keeps it as a driving force of your life? Do you think about it constantly? Do you ever get a break to be so involved in what you are doing that it releases you somewhat from your illness? I understand so much of what you say, and it helps me, but I worry that maybe it takes over your daily life.

[@trediaz4012]

Great video. So.e challenging things for me is concentration/motivation, the need to isolate so no one "finds me out", and the panic attacks that make me rush to the hospital because I think I'm about to die from heart attack.

[@mycahjames]

I know exactly what you mean I think. I can’t be “caught” in the moment” doing something.”