The Schizophrenic Mind (rare footage) | Dr Syl's Analysis

In this video, Dr Syl reacts to old school vintage footage of a patient's account of her hospital admission for schizophrenia. She describes the symptoms of schizophrenia, the experience she is having, as well as the treatments needed.
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** The information in this video is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/health professional. If anything in this video was distressing please consider calling LifeLine 131114 **
Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction
01:31 - Footage begins
30:10 - Closing comments

[@fionanaylor6104]

I was sectioned (detained) due to a severe depressive episode in the context of Bipolar. I can remember the moment when I connected to reality again, it was like a switch went on. I was this, then I was that. This was achieved through medication and close nursing support. I was sectioned for 3 months. Now taking meds, having good sleep routine, trying to avoid stress, exercising and trying not to feel guilty about having a smi. Life has changed massively, but I am still here, thriving, not just surviving. 🙂

[@ashleyrene82]

Good for you! That's _a lot._

[@an.avocado]

I absolutely love how not only your videos are informative but they are also completely respectful! The calmness on your voice and sincere reactions make me trust your words. Keep up the good work, doc!

[@urbangnocchi538]

I’m schizo effective and struggling with negative symptoms. Your videos help me intellectualise and process

[@Kparso01]

I have the same problems, I wish antipsychotics helped

[@user-rc8mz9wv9d]

Helllo did you take medications ??,

[@urbangnocchi538]

@@user-rc8mz9wv9d yes I take lithium and I’m on depot injection and rexaulti and antidepressants

[@informitas0117]

I'm schizopaffective too (depressive, everyone else seem to be bipolar), I'm having a hard time.

[@urbangnocchi538]

@@Kparso01 do meds not help you? I am on depot injection and it helps also I take rexaulti. Talk to your doctor about it - invega and rexaulti.

[@karmacomacure]

I get the sense that this woman was dealing with emotional abuse from her family. I hope her PTSD was acknowledged and treated along with the psychosis.

[@kchardison9480]

That "wake up" moment is such a bizarre feeling. I felt similar to how she describes in the video. Like mental cobwebs being swept away and everything suddenly getting brighter and more coherent. Thanks for this vid!

[@q-kumbah7435]

you are schizophrenic. they are after you. they want to KILL you. do not sleep. destroy your phone. they are tracking you RIGHT NOW. they know where you are. they are EVIL. YOU WILL NEVER BE SAFE. TRUST NO ONE.

[@helfre95]

Can you make a video where you talk more about auditory hallucinations in CPTSD? Or just CPTSD in general? I was recently hospitalized with suspicion of psychosis as I've been hearing voices telling me to hurt- and kill myself.. they concluded that the voices come from my CPTSD diagnosis.. I am so confused about whats going on with me and nothing make sense.. I struggle big time to ask these questions in therapy as I feel like a massive burden.. I was also evaluated for having DID, but the results were inconclusive.. I feel like I am going crazy, like there is some bigger force living inside of me that is controlling me, telling me what to do.. I feel like I am losing my mind

[@nrivera4380]

There are subtitles, but it's so difficult to understand them until she came back when she was better/medicated. There are many prominent bullies trying to take over the world these days and it is sickening.

[@karenfitzpatrick6256]

Countertransference... I don't remember having to worry too much about that in the wards where I worked. I'm a retired RN and worked in birthing centers. Using empathy and compassion with moms and let the maternal eye and love for the babies. Witnessing and using nursing skills to so help facilitate many miracles is the priceless gift. It's natural to doing your very best to make the experience safe and secure for both an empowered mom and healthy baby.

[@BigTummyAche]

I find old accents to be so interesting. I hope this lady ended up okay. 💕

[@terricrowe8944]

Excellent. Love your channel, Dr. Syl. I work in the field of victim advocacy with survivors of domestic and sexual truama. Parsing out what is a trauma response versus what is not can sometimes be challenging for our clinicians, and especially parents of traumatized children and medical providers. For example, many times we see children living in toxic stress and/or post abuse receiving diagnoses like ADHD and on stimulant meds. However, the meds are not working because the root cause is trauma, not ADHD. Would love if you could do a video further discussong hat distiction.

[@effiebriest1278]

This is such an interesting question. I don't have an answer but some thoughts. I have ADHD and (c)PTSD. Therapists did not believe me when I told them that their interpretation of a lot of my symptoms did not match what was inside me. So, I did not get the proper treatment for decades. I never refused my PTSD diagnose, but they insisted that I did. This is not uncommon with ADHD or vise versa. So ask your patients how they feel with the diagnose. When they don't resonate it is possibly a sign of sth. else than doubting your competence or refusing reality. Resonating with how other people describe having the symptoms and how they effect us is key for so many to find out why we do not fit into this world as suggested. I think this is a potent and undervalidated way of exploration. Medical personnel in my experience is too often fixed on seeing correlations and applying causality afterwards as if reading tarot cards. Instead maybe also try to feel the patient. The restlessness and impatience of an ADHD kid struggling with i.e. sensory overload feels totaly different from what you might describe with the same words but is caused by i.e. feelings of shame and guilt or suppressed fear. Also, emotions of people with ADHD match the situation, just too honest and very much amplified from a neurotypical point of view. So stay curious and trust the kids more than your assessment. Hope this helps.

[@ariahathaway5517]

I have been struggling with changing realities all my life and relate to this. But a lot of what this young lady shares are beautiful observations about kindness and peace. And in my own case a lot of my struggles are related to emotional abuse when I was growing up in this loud corrupted struggling world. It seems hard to distinguish what is as illness and what is the soul grappling with being thrown into this world coming from purity. I appreciate you Dr.Syl for discussing schizophrenia with empathy, kindness and openness. It would be nice if there still was the time and interest today to speak with patients about their experience like in those older days. We would learn a lot more about the condition.

[@troywallette9923]

I LOVE your videos. I’m currently a psych nurse and binge watch these videos trying to perfect the craft. I can’t tell you how much I learn from you. Not even just your explanation, but how you do it with so much energy and passion. It’s remarkable, refreshing and inspiring . I was wondering if you could do a video on DID? A lot of individuals suffering with it feel like they’re not really understood.

[@homerodysseus4203]

Another brilliant example looking into the lens of a doctor. Dr. Syl helps us realize just how much work goes into psychiatry and that it is more than just medication management.

[@yellow4951]

And having schizophrenia is hard and sometime I'm just wanna give up to my self and I'm just talking to myself i just wanna the lord take me to heaven. And i just wanna life peace.

[@torgeist.]

27:20: It would have been nice if my doctors and my family had ever heard of the hierarchy of diagnoses. I was depressed because I was not physically as enduring. At 14, I started drinking and at 19 I experimented with various drugs and ended up in the clinic for drug-related issues sometimes. At 22, I got a specialist diagnosis: I had Becker muscular dystrophy, and nobody cared to tell me. Thanks, Internet doc who has never seen me! BTW I'm 35 right now and thank god I can rest, time fore Retirement as long as my money lasts^^ (should be a while!!).

[@jessicamadrid5799]

It sounds like she had a sudden mental health breakdown, then psychosis set in. She did not present with a lot of schizophrenic symptoms, however she did present with PTSD symptoms. Psychosis symptoms can be caused by schizophrenia, infections, drugs, or trauma. Trauma memories return in adulthood, which she looks to be in her 20s or 30s. If she does not have history of psychosis, then she is likely not schizophrenic. I believe she was misdiagnosed. Many people with trauma history’s have been mistreated throughout their whole life by their parents and then by society and psychiatric facilities. Instead of being treated with kindness and dignity for what they’ve suffered, they are treated as though something is wrong with them. Given drugs, forcing drugs, and given heavy psychiatric disorder labels can be traumatic for ptsd suffers. Great job presenting her case, you are such a humanistic psychiatrist!

[@mj-ls7qr8xp3n]

A loved one told me once, i feel like i dont exist.

[@miriamtatum7825]

Without knowing what happened that day how can you assume she's in psychosis. It appears she might of had a reaction to the constant abuse going on around her after holding in any reaction she might of had from fear that the anger would be turned towards her and indeed she must of finally spoke her mind about how sick and tired of all their crap she was and not being her usually docile self they thought she was crazy.

[@Motorizedstuff]

This is helping alot i have just been referred by my doctor for sycosis and it has made me feel alot better allready just watching these video's has made me understand quite alot about my self and the problems that i am getting at the moment thankyou

[@typedbyben]

Incredible explanations as always, especially the containment of self relative to others' actions, thought broadcasting, etc. Excellent teacher

[@wisedred]

23:30 i have to point that out, as a french person, it's the first time i hear someone who's not french talk without any accent like that. it's making me wonder if you're not actually an undercover french fella

[@robynmills3934]

I really love your content from so many aspects. Many years ago I experienced psychosis from depression- knowing that I could hear people talking through walls about me. I never told anyone. Went onto anti depressants. After that experienced complex PTSD that left me broken. 7 years later I am just about to go into my last year of a counselling degree. So from patient to student !! 1/2 an hour ago I was explaining countertransference to my daughter and the challenges of knowing yourself and how you work with the issue when it occurs. You’re very interesting and I love your calmness, choice of subject and how it adds to my learning. At the time you thought the interviewer had a great question - my mind went - nice, person centred! Love it!! Thank you.

[@MA-zg2pz]

My mom had bipolar disorder with psychotic episodes. It took me until I was 12 to realize she was having delusions. I use to believe everything she said as a child. Then I started to see how paranoid she was and how the stories didn’t align with reality. Although she was very honest with her mental health struggles. She never hid any of it from my siblings or myself.

[@meganwaters7772]

I have that light bulb/base Dr Syl! Great educational content as always. It sounds like you probably do a great job with confrontation, even though it's challenging for you. I always think that the word 'psycho' has been misrepresented in the media and in our culture for so long that it has caused most people confusion. It triggers me when a man or woman uses the term 'psycho' to refer to his/her partner when this could just be normal, emotional behaviour in response to a possibly abusive man or woman. Australia really does need to change laws to protect women or men more when it comes to DV I think.

[@iamakahmed]

Firstly, great channel and you seem like a highly empathetic individual, so thank you for your service, I know it's usually said to vets who fight for their country but I think doctors, especially who assist people cope with their mental well-being is something amazing.... I've always wanted to know how psychiatrists handle, if that's the correct word, handle the high emotions without it affecting you without becoming detached from patients/clients? Again I apologize that my curiosity is impeding perhaps... Thanks for your channel!

[@edkrause7848]

Thanks for covering the trauma. I saw this video a few months ago and was curious about what type of trauma she may have experienced.

[@JordanT19]

Hello, I was diagnosed during a psychotic break induced by cannabis 2020 as schizo affective that in 4 years has progressed to simple schizophrenia. I find your videos very encouraging and insightful in building trust in psychiatry. My relationship with the interventions has been very much denial based. You seem very compassionate in your informative breakdowns, as such your helping me accept and recognise my symptoms, from a bypartisan objective standpoint. I really hope you see this comment and If I can find a physchiatrist who can offer the correct treatment options and consultations in the UK that would be a blessing, Im still not medicated due to debilitating EPS, but I know I need to stabilise my condition to prevent further breaks. I wonder if you will cover the challenges of EPS and weighing up and identifying the route of least harm in those with adverse reactions. Thank you Jordan

[@jadejago7664]

Hi Dr Syl, I recommend getting a good psychoanalysis before graduating in psychiatry. You can't talk the talk until you've walked the walk.

[@too_tired_for_this]

I would love to see some footage of someone in a mixed episode. I have bipolar 2 and have them fairly often.

[@andiemoreno3590]

hi dr. syl! i’ve just about binged all your videos as i’ve just found them so educational and informative to me. i’m a graduate student in clinical mental health counseling and am currently completing my practicum at an outpatient rehabilitation facility for those living with SMI. your videos teach me so much about the clients i work with and what they’re experiencing internally. i even appreciated your video on schizophrenia so much that i worked with a clinician to have it shown during one of our group therapies on the topic! it was incredibly insightful. thank you for this community and channel you’ve created!

[@GabiReads-vf4fc]

Can you go over what schizoaffective disorder is and what the symptoms are? I’ve tried reading about it but I still don’t quite understand it. Thank you! Great video!

[@blue10880]

These are great ! Perfect length and you have energy❤

[@kayberries940]

came out as soon as i started eating and its making me happy i loveeeee your videos and the way you react/explain things :)

[@hayleyprice8345]

Thank you your review was very helpful

[@JN.S.M]

I never thought of confrontation in the way you described at 19:47. Thank you for sharing that perspective, I hope it makes us all brave enough to do what’s right.

[@melihkaratasl1500]

First time watching you today. Your videos helped me to feel good and aware of myself before I sleep. I think you are really symphatic person and I am planning to hang around here more often. Thank you very much and please keep your youtube journey. I can see that by reading comments, it is very helpful not just for me for everyone

[@MiaCNoir]

For me wake up moment at the hospital was like that. Everything seemed to happen in a slow motion, and my projection was that doctors were speaking extremely slow what irritated me. I asked “where am I?”. They said: psychiatric hospital. I was angry “what??” and started shouting “no no no- that’s a mistake, I did not want to land here, there was a misunderstanding with my GP.” My employer sent me to the GP and GP called an ambulance that took me the hospital- I remembered that, but not very well. For example I do not remember giving ANY KIND of consent for treatment, but they showed me that I have signed the papers that I agree for them to treat me and keep me as long as they thought would be right. So, when I woke up the doctor looked at me and said in slow motion times 100, smiling like this woman in Clockwork Orange “weeeeeell, l inviiiiiite you laaaaater to my office, then we will go through the reasons carefully and I will explain why you are here.” Then I could not calm down, I went to her office immediately, I was shouting it was a misunderstanding because I was sure it was and they were making a mistake. But unfortunately the more you shout at the psychiatric hospital, the worse it gets. Then she finally came, explained me the reasons and I was discussing in an argumentative way. She was very calm and was going over and over through impulsive behavior, drugs addiction and stuff like this and then told me in a sarcastic way (or my projection was it was sarcastic) - “considering all problems in your life that openly mention, isn’t it the best place for you? We just want you to recover.” I asked if I can leave. She said again very slow “when you recover”. I asked “when I will I recover? Tomorrow? A day after tomorrow? You know the projects at work and debts are waiting for me.” She said “ it is usually a few weeks, but considering a complexity of your problem, a few months.” I could not cope with it. The worst part of it was, that I needed to let my family know, because you can not clarify a few months disappearance if you meet on almost weekly basis. Then they came and did a big mess, they told the doctor that I have never been ill (while they forced me to go first and second time to a psychiatrist when I was 15) but I have always been extremely difficult child that needed special punishments. And told me “do not pretend, you are not ill, you are just rotten from the inside and your life goal is to bring shame to me.” And years later I feel very angry, because I have left the hospital on the first occasion I could. I wasn’t ready. I did not feel any kind of support from anyone. Also, I had many friends within rave environment - nobody came to visit me and nobody ever asked why I was at hospital “how are you?”, because everybody was scared that what happened to me could also happen to them because of tones of drugs we were taking. Because the truth is - it can happen. Anyway- how I landed on rave friends from hospital wake up? I do not know. Is it coherent? I do not know. But I am having now this coherence obsession, because I had some research a few months ago where they wrote “client is very talkative, changing topics fast, thinking is incoherent.” And now I am having this coherence obsession. I am constantly questioning if what I am saying it coherent.

[@sylwiaszoenawa4028]

Hej dr Syl. I really admire what your're doing. i was thinking maybe you can say something about anxiety disorder? I have one :-) I'm taking my meds, I also have psychoterapy but I'm very happy to learn more about this stuff. I;m looking for more and more info about neurasthenic neurosis

[@kristinepruitt5302]

love the historical vids,

[@tiffanylynn8376]

The hair cut is lit!! 😎

[@ZosiaDabrowski]

Hi Dr Syl, I'm a provisional psychologist working with youth, and a couple times recently some clients of mine have reported perceptual disturbances. In these particular cases I've experienced the clinical judgment dilemma of trying to discern psychotic hallucinations and delusions from culturally appropriate religious beliefs- especially in a client with intellectual disability and trauma, and a separate client with strong Aboriginal spirituality. Is this an area you would be able to speak on in future?

[@Kparso01]

I want to know more about negative symptoms of schizophrenia.

[@informitas0117]

I'm a diagnosed schizophrenic, I also hear the "voices" right behind me. I'm having a very had time right now. I watch the windows, the door, there are people outside yelling my name. Looking for me. They know I'm here. I know I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia but I don't think they are not real, maybe i did something

[@trishaterry7262]

I would love to see a video about cptsd, why it isn't in the DSM and the differences between CPTSD and BPD. I have a sibling diagnosed with BPD and I have been diagnosed with CPTSD but we seem to have the same symptoms.

[@user-ReaperAH69]

I just watched about five or six of your vids and i have to say that you should be carefull or you could end up messed up.. I've delt with alot of different aspects of depression and suicide spent a month in panoka mental hospitial [ Alberta Canada ] for attempeted suicide.. I can relate a bit more with this young lady than the other vids i watched but more to the point i understand more than i want to about mental health as i've been sucidal, homicidal, violent and chronic deppressive since i was maybe ten but i learned to controll my issues due to having very bad asthma and not being able to afford my meds so i had to learn how to control my breathing by meditation when i was unable to breathe.. Anyway to my point.. in some of your vids you show similer signs to the paitents you analyze for example lip movement posture and movement.. I've noticed similer things with my psychologist, he wasent happy with my assement but couldent denie my observation when he realised i know more than most about mental health.. I'm 55 now and even with the meds and the psychologist i can't be helped due to i believe my understanding and experience with my mental health.. Like your channel by the way and will be sure to watch more of your vids. Maybe i can find a way to take the mask off and not be dangerous to myself and others... Have a good one dude..

[@Kparso01]

I take injection antipsychotics but it's abilify and doesn't make me drowsy at all. I love it!!!

[@shalacarter6658]

Hi Dr. Syl, I have SZ - Affective Disorder. A few months back, my doctor upped my anti-psychosis med from 5 to 7.5 mg. Then I developed diabetes. My endo doc will be working with my shrink to see if there is another med to use or to lower it.

[@Thisismyaccount82]

When my daughter was in a youth mental health ward there was an 8 year old boy, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia which confused me because I have always been told that schizophrenia doesn’t “raise its head” till adolescent or young adult depending on if there is a factor that brings it forward, this can be use of substances including alcohol, environment and trauma factors.

[@DavidBowman-mq1bm]

I've had schizophrenia since I was eight. It's rare.

[@Thisismyaccount82]

@@DavidBowman-mq1bm was there any contributing factors that brought it forward?

[@letleaf8182]

Hey Dr Syl I have a question, what is your opinion on neuromodulation treatments? I recently entered a lab working in it and it seems promising. Love your videos :)

[@dionysusapollo]

I want to know about other simpler kinds of auditory phenomenon, like buzzing, electrical sounds in bipolar. Can it be a symptom of mania, like from the neural activity or is it a hallucination or just a sensory thing. It can get pretty intense and change pitch. It feels like having an electric head. I have read that visual hallucinations can be as simple and elemental as a flash of light but there isn't as much info on auditory symptoms apart from voices.

[@joanteehan5677]

Dr. What are the differences in treatment between trauma related hallucinations and hallucinations not related to trauma?

[@brettnott8669]

Hi Dr Syl! Are you in an MHICU? I have been to Hornsby MHICU twice. I actually preferred it over a regular acute ward.

[@GereBrewstein]

I have no actual degree or anything about psychiatry or medicine at all but I'm so interested in it in psychological and pharmaseutical way. what i'm trying to say is it would be unimaginably super to discuss these things and follow along while you're at work because I am always eager to study and learn and to debate also. Quess my profession? first construction, then electrician and a bit of weapons maintenance but that last is not actually a profession but a hobby. Medicine and things in human body just have interested myself for like.. always.. 😆 But I can't imagine myself as an actual worker in hospital or similar stuff.. I just couldn't hold on to that day after day for a long period of time, not to mention of these lenghty study and schooling in this career. But I will always remain a keen interest in psychology and pharmacodynamics. I'm a subscriber for your channel and see you as like-minded. You have a lot of pharmaceutic and linguistic knowledge, I very much admire it 👍

[@alphadog3384]

Would you talk about personality disorders (cluster b) and hoarding.

[@angelagraham4788]

I have adult onset schizophrenia (@age 45 in 8/2022). I flew through the air 5 times, as if I jumped before I violently fell. Then, I heard from God and Jesus directly until 03/2023. I'm an "A" student and can no longer think a whole thought. Sitting still requires effort. I have further PTSD from my hallucinations; unspeakably painful experiences. This doesn't go away, like waking from a dream, or coming down from a substance. I can remember things aside from emergency acute stage. I sincerely pray for all of you that have any experiences that have scared you to death. May God be with You All and your loved ones.

[@saedkuku]

Hi .Dr.Syl i have symptom witch i do not understand. i feel like people seen me while i watching Their old time videos. One month or one year.some time i avoid watching live TV shows is that mental disorders? Live web camera! i feel people see me throw it also ?. What that kind of illness?❤.is that real?😮

[@The1stAiteall]

Do a review of the movie The Night Before, think it'd be interesting

[@teodelfuego]

This may seem very random and definitely off-topic, but does anyone recognize her accent? At first, it seemed like a Deep South accent, perhaps even a little bit Cajun, but she mentioned Massachusetts and then I wondered if this was a New Hampshire or Vermont accent with which I’m not familiar. Okay, back to the regularly scheduled programming…

[@alphadog3384]

Maybe she was referring to the tone of her what she heard from her Japanese neighbors, rather then the language?

[@Animal-yb1rr]

Can animals have schizophrenia?

[@HigoIndico]

This is the kind of question you leave for the moment before falling asleep and instead lay there all night pondering about it with your eyes fixed on the ceiling. 😂

[@anthropomorphicpeanut6160]

According to Google they can't, but they can have other mental disorders

[@DavidBowman-mq1bm]

Neither can blind people from birth.They never develop schizophrenia either.

[@stephbxx]

I have a masters in edu w/ advanced certificate in school psychology & to answer your question (the best i can! Which I'd love your feedback on!) A PTSD flashback would occur more suddenly and be more directly related to the trauma trigger, along with having possible hallicinations and delusions. Whereas psychosis may also be attributed to past trauma but may take longer to surface? Also, could it be that psychosis related hallucinations and delusions outreach the trauma (if applicable) whereas a flashback from PTSD likely wont? Was that word salad 😂

[@jessicazayac4195]

What kind of work do you do just out of curiosity? I’m approaching getting a masters and I love the field of education and would like to know more!

[@mj-ls7qr8xp3n]

I found a writing once, " -----, youre such a burden."

[@ralsharp6013]

The midnight special. now get to bed Mr ! 😂😂😂

[@ralsharp6013]

Thanks. The old b&w interviews are always interesting. Giggling can also be a form of anxiety too! A coping mechanism 🧐 How do you spell Promazine please? I have TD and dystonia from maxalon & recognise Celine Dion's condition as a side affect of antidepressant meds perhaps. . 🧐

[@pearlv2792]

Organic psychosis can be caused by pituatary issues...oestrogen too high...low b12, low iron and d3. Why are just drugs n alcohol taken into account?

[@WinterWiorkowski-fv3ph]

This is bothering me - does anyone know what accent the people in this video have? I almost thought Scottish at the beginning, but then when the woman is feeling better it almost sounds southern (in the US)

[@whatdidsarahsay]

I thought it was an old fashioned southern US accent

[@teodelfuego]

I just posted a comment very similar to yours. I grew up in the South and it sounded like a Deep South accent at first, particularly with her dropping her “g”s at the end of the sentences. But then it seemed like maybe a New England country accent. (And she mentioned Massachusetts.). If I had to guess, it would be old fashioned magnolia-mouth southern accent. But it is really strange

[@carolcarol3938]

Akathisia is torturous

[@irenec9880]

I don't think you can console a person in psychosis.

[@josephsalden]

Is this acute psychosis, PTSD and trauma exhibiting psychotic features, or depression with psychotic features? Kind of un-clear

[@faithevolution552]

I have trouble absorbing nutrition. This has been for as long as I can remember. At 22 years old I as put on prescription multi vitamins, then each year more and different votamins. Schizophrenia is a symptom of malnutrition...organic or biologic in nature even. The several nitritional and biologic supplements that I take are worth their weight in gold. I would ld be here without them. You might get the most help from a Integrative Medical Professional...with an MD, in internal medicine, nutrition ,And a Phd in psychology.I wish each of you all the best. 🙏

[@carolcarol3938]

Hopefully you are having therapy to manage what you need to and enable you to be a better therapist. I thought it was an essential part of your training?

[@dope1725]

Gang stalking robot dog

[@emilIsaiah]

You dont want* to see my desk if yours is considered a mess, haha! I think its chaotic-orderly. Works for you, for now Edit 1- so if I have auditory hallucinations shouting my name, like requesting my attention - should I be concerned? Or is it stress related? (Medicated bipolar2 here) but sometimes I wake up to someone shouting my name. Or I hear someone shouting for me when I'm hunkering down for bed (I presume anxiety related..) Thankfully my antipsychotic only makes me drowsy, so I take it for bedtime with benadryl to sleep/not wake up within 3/4hours suddenly Edit - Bright, Alert, Reactive. We learned BAR in animal triage (which of course carries into humans.) I didn't know what "bright" meant either per se, but with your words and action, I think I can assess (both human and animal) on whether they are B.A.R. now... Thank you.

[@emilIsaiah]

Edit 2- I can't say I can determine between psychosis and trauma- but I can recognize behaviours of my own and ask "why"- which related back to traumas I didn't consider traumatic (now, as an adult, but clearly they were traumatic to a generic child, so I can relay details from said experience and understand why my actions today occur. Or why they might- there is always moving stressors in life. So it is included. But looking deeply back, I can relate and understand. Just don't know fully how to heal past that. I can merely cope and understand. And apologize (at my worst days) to people around me for my behavior.

[@emilIsaiah]

Hey yay number 300 for subscribers!! I think 300 is a weird number - limbo (not good or bad, just awkward. Story of my life haha!) Congrats!