Loneliness Epidemic In The US | Rants On Difficulty In Making Friends

[@msmarks1130]

America's not a community. It's a business.

[@a.m.9993]

A corporation, to be precise.

[@whokNews8888]

No truer words have been spoken!

[@Nwakaego_]

You typed facts.

[@QueenBees456]

Exactly that.

[@patricialongo5870]

Because it's not socialist. Whenever you insist on leftist values and planning you too can have community.

[@owensdaniels6244]

america has a lot of hate going around, and america is segregated by age, segregated by race, segregated by sexes, segregated by looks, segregated by money. thats the truth about america. and rome died the very same way.

[@dbrown9495]

And classism.

[@slavvalb3933]

@@owensdaniels6244 Absolutely correct 💯 🏆

[@Shaolin91z]

Rome got too big 😆.

[@Jesus_Saves_Believers]

Very, very wise and true comment!

[@theconcealedmistress]

Yes there's some truth to this

[@Highpoweredwig]

Not only that but people have poor social skills. They like to talk about themselves, they center romantic relationships, they size you up, they only care about what you do for a living or your contribution to society but never you as a person. We are in a time where we are exposing dysfunction and abuse and how toxic people can be. Dating apps and social media has exacerbated this problem too. Not many people can hold a conversation, no common sense or have a sense of humor. I don’t care for small talk and trivial conversations I need mental stimulation.

[@mariahg.6251]

@@Highpoweredwig YES 10× and I thought it was just me!

[@crystalyn2855]

Yes. I don't like to talk to people who only talk about themselves. I like to elaborate on certain issues that affect many not where you got your nails done 😅

[@Highpoweredwig]

@@silversilver0 yup then they come online complaining about being lonely and not having friends. Who the hell want to befriend a person like that? This is why the tech folk are creating ChatGPT sex bots and A.I girlfriends and boyfriends.

[@taters2883]

This has been my issue with others, for the longest time. I meet too many people who don't know how to continue a conversation. I always say, if I don't continue the conversation, then it'll die because the other person gives nothing. I love being around people and talking to people, but my most people I meet in my age group are Robots I swear.

[@OfficiallyTCMW]

Because we are tired of people coming to this country to take. Not contributing anything but complaints. Yet you’re still here in this country. Make it make sense.

[@manudogom1764]

Social Media was the worst thing to ever happen to society.

[@noble604]

I think it’s altered people’s expectation of how social engagement works, that’s for sure. I have a relative who just moved into an affluent area and the the moms walk their little kids to school everyday but somehow they don’t talk to each other. 🥴You would think that time everyday would be the perfect time to strike up new friendships with everybody there living in the same neighborhood, of the same age group, doing the same things but instead, the school communicates to the parents by social media so the moms don’t interact with each other in person (everyday.) It’s strange to have live encounters with people and never talk to them but this is the 🌍 we live in.🥴

[@xysarenottheprize]

Patriarchy still wins that award.

[@Mysteriouslydangerous-d6f]

People come with too much drama. Good people are tired of being messed over. Never trust anyone!

[@mariahg.6251]

THIS!!!

[@simonbelmont4332]

Spot on observation bro!

[@asadb1990]

Thats the thing too many people come with agenda to extort you. It makes trusting people difficult.

[@Justanothercog24]

Hard agree. I'm tired of this modern mindset of "I don't owe anyone sh*t, but everyone owes me everything for existing." It sucks because I'm driven to give ppl some grace & positivity because life is hard. At the same time, my tolerance level for ppl's behavior is getting really low.

[@BeautifulLife000H]

Exactly. I made a friend in my neighborhood and she stole my birdbath to sell it at swap meet.

[@angelawilliams9088]

So true. I'm a 61 year old BW and I live in an apartment building. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in building. People don't speak, give you a mean look or pretend like they don't see you! It's crazy. I grew up in the 70's and EVERYBODY knew each other. EVERYBODY, spoke to each other. It's so awful that people today has lost their humanity!

[@Deeafricanperspective]

Back in my home country every apartment I’ve lived in I spoke to my neighbors and we were so friendly and helpful to eachother felt like family but after moving to the US haven’t spoken to one neighbor I tell you it’s crazy

[@Justanothercog24]

Facts. There was a massive social shift through covid. Like even basic common courtesy is now often treated like "eeeeww brother, eeewww. What's that?" On the flip, I've actually had a few ppl stop me to express appreciation over just a passing smile & nod or "how's your day?" which leaves me with the "yay, social progress made" mixed with the reminder of just how bad the social atmosphere has deteriorated. 10 yrs ago, it was so easy to make friends & now everyone is just looking for an excuse to lash out or act snobbish.

[@shean991]

​@justacoginthefkery covid made it worse but society was headed that way for years

[@Twinklestar932]

It started at 35 years old for me. I'm 53 now. Haven't had friends since I was 35. Not 1

[@noble604]

I lived in an apartment complex for a couple years and I knew nobody in it. We had a pool and a gym in the complex. Nobody talked there. It was so isolating. It was kind of an “upscale” place and I was hoping to meet some new “upscale” people and I had some fantasy of what it would be like to live there as a place to widen my social network from my job (where I had no friends.) I had fantasies of meeting neighbors and having them over for dinner, celebrating holidays with them, going to their apartment. 🙃It was very lonely.

[@BrothaJohn-br2hd]

I blame capitalism. So much of our juice and energy is spent grinding away just to pay bills, that we have no spare energy for socializing. Before I started working full-time, I was very social. Now all I do is work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep. I dont have the energy or time for friends or even family. Smh

[@droidgunner3840]

Yep same here on my days off I'm too tired to date

[@alphaomega1351]

I used to believe the same, and although it certainly plays a role, I think mostly it's just people growing apart as they age and go through the different phases of life. 😳

[@AHundred-ec5yq]

​@@alphaomega1351the phase of life where u have to chase money or your homeless bum

[@returningtoperfection]

It isn't capitalism. It's the Govt and printing money and inflation. The success of most countries is because of small to medium businesses. Big businesses are closing up shop left right and centre, from Walmart to home depot. When the big business monopolized the market, they didn't foresee the market tanking so in essence they helped the little guy get out before the hogs got slaughtered. Remember; pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered

[@scottandrews947]

You should get married. Once you do that, there is very little need for friends. Socializing is unnecessary if you live life as you should.

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

my parents moved us to the united states when i was about eight years old. i’m convinced that in our home country (eastern european country), i would’ve had a thriving social life. my parents tell me that i was a highly social kid (in our home country) and that i had zero issues connecting with other kids. when we moved here, that changed overnight. it’s something about the dynamics in this country. in that aspect, i regret being brought here.

[@realestatebykemi]

As a Nigerian immigrant brought here even younger than you (before 1st grade), I have mixed feelings. I agree with your statements, until I visit Nigeria, then I can’t wait to return to the States, because I can’t believe how corrupt & still developing the nation is. For example, just having electricity is a luxury. Still today in 2024.

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

@@realestatebykemi it sucks, doesn’t it…it often feels like people in our situation are trapped between worlds. for me, nowhere really feels like home. my home country is also incredibly corrupt, so i can share your disappointment and discontent with what you see in your homeland.

[@a.m.9993]

I concur that you are right. I often imagine how socially skilled I might have become had I never been raised in the dysfunctional environment here.

[@Shaolin91z]

Thanks Lord for your salvation Thanks Lord for your peace Thanks Lord for bible study class Go home if u don't want to be here

[@coldcloakmusic6630]

Crazy bc I had the same exact experience. I felt normal in my home country. Had friends and a social life at a young age. Moving here was an eye opening experience.

[@BadgerWolf-19]

All the good people became introverts from betrayal.

[@jalynashley1991]

There’s definitely some truth to this.

[@highlovevibration]

I thought about your statement, and I believe you're right..

[@gapeach14]

I sure did. I enjoy solitude now.

[@Who12342]

Facts

[@noble604]

I think I’ll keep trying. (For me) it is better to love and lose than never to know love at all. 🌿I can’t retreat into myself for the rest of my days and call that a “life.” I need people. I can’t 😞

[@madelinealicea2044]

Got tired of greeting people in the morning and/or saying thank you and get nothing in return. Not even a smile. So... I go above my business. I mind my business and keep it moving.

[@bengalboypaco3140]

Same but dont let them change you keep that good energy

[@mariahg.6251]

Exactly!!! Keeping my cup covered and pour from it when necessary.

[@apara2005]

​@@mariahg.6251love this saying. I'm going use and live by this.

[@Shaolin91z]

Peace in Christ surpasses all understanding. Peace negates loneliness. Bible study class gives you peace. Thanks Lord for your peace

[@mimipan9290]

💯💯💯​@@mariahg.6251

[@bunny.elixir]

Ppl think you’re weird for talking to them or wanting to make friends and it wasn’t even totally like this a few years ago, they’ve just gotten so much weirder

[@Goddess_Infinity]

This!!!!! It’s like we are all so weirdly in fear of one another . Like everyone is our opponent . I just had a conversation about this . Something changed after 2020 . The last 4 years has felt like a big “you’ve been punk’d “

[@hopeh1095]

Exactly, if you try to get took close to ppl they think it’s weird especially women.

[@07ikkin]

Yess, or they think you're toxic or trying to be manipulative when you are asking them genuine questions about themselves. So people are lonely but yet nobody wants to talk and make friends....🤷‍♀️

[@Shaolin91z]

Thanks Lord for bible study class Thanks Lord for your peace Bible study class gives you peace

[@mariemarlene7658]

I agree! Since the pandemic, people have gotten worse and so mean. It's like a demonic spirit has been unleashed into society.

[@tiffanybrown368]

Foreigners must understand that their definition of friends and friendship is completely different from Americans. Americans consider ppl they can benefit from as friends and I find that weird. Friendships here come with way too many agendas, it rare you find a genuine friendship

[@a.m.9993]

EXACTLY. All for gain and based on superficial attributes.

[@Goddess_Infinity]

Everyone is in competition with each other

[@VinylSkillz]

Wow you said that precisely. I guess thats why i never made friends in this country.

[@theconcealedmistress]

Not necessarily true.

[@tiffanybrown368]

@@theconcealedmistress are you an immigrant??😂🤣

[@taranatarana714]

You're lucky if you have a true genuine friend who doesn't backstab you. A life coach may be better!

[@ricosally6734]

You must be from Detroit 😂

[@joosfake]

Yeah. Most Americans are FAKE. Some of the biggest @$$wholes in the world.

[@slavvalb3933]

When I was attending University , most people were sticking to their own. Indians to Indians, Koreans to Koreans, etc. If u happen to be not from their league you are totally alone.

[@apara2005]

What the girl said people just have you around for a reason is so true. .also the girl who said the word is thrown around without meaning. People are only your "friend" when it benefits them, as soon as you offer no benefit you are disposable (even if you knew them and interacted with them for decades). Nothing is worse than thinking you had a friend and finding out when you are in dire need that the person was just an acquaintance!

[@CodyCole80]

💯

[@ryder4508]

It was way easier back in the 90s and even the mid-2000s. Something happened with the invention of the smart phone and it got even worse after Covid, too.

[@Justanothercog24]

Hard agree. I'm a bit of an ambivert... introverted at first, extroverted when comfortable. I rarely had a hard time making friends before covid. Now it's like ppl are looking for an excuse to be combative or see kindness as a thing to exploit.

[@kolyxix]

Thank you so much for bringing up this topic of loneliness. The hyper-individualistic culture along with capitalism and social media is responsible for this mess. It is getting progressively worse and unbearable every year. It requires a collective action

[@Shaolin91z]

Peace in Christ surpasses all understanding. Peace negates loneliness. Bible study class gives you peace. Thanks Lord for your peace

[@kolyxix]

@@Shaolin91z I dont think this has anything to do with Christ

[@taranatarana714]

No one has time to make friends with all these bills and survival fears and that's how the system is set up purposely. Along with the system trying to sell you processed foods and doctors trying to prescribe you medicine with the knowledge of bad long term side effects. You have to figure everything on your own in USA. It's difficult to trust everyone too and then you may be nice and others may not reciprocate at all so you learn to just keep to yourself and pay bills. And it's not healthy. 🧿 but let's talk about envious people and backstabbers and you need money to relax and socialize

[@BREEZYM6015]

Hi Tarana.

[@Highpoweredwig]

So pretty much basically money is your friend

[@tricieb.5921]

​@@Highpoweredwig Basically

[@taranatarana714]

The fun you had as a child is hard to replicate. Everyone is your friend when you are a child. I don't like revealing my business to everyone.🧿

[@cbreeze123]

I’m starting to think that if I was rich or even super wealthy, I still will never be as happy as I was during my childhood.

[@VinylSkillz]

Yes.....wherever you grew up at...those were fun times!!!

[@brl0522]

@@VinylSkillzI still live in my childhood home and it’s both a blessing and a curse

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

There are a few things I noticed with the loneliness epidemic: 1. Everyone wants to blame everyone else. 2. People don't really want to change for the better. 3. Too many people are selfish and unwilling to compromise or adapt. Then they give themselves "outs" for their bad behavior. Think toxic positivity and therapy speak. 4. Also, most people don't know what kind of friend they actually want. 5. People are unwilling to take the time to build a relationship. 6. People are often unwilling to consider friends out of their social group or peers. Different age groups, backgrounds, ethnicities, socioeconomic status, ect. There is SO much value to be found in these differences.

[@AWBR_777]

You're a therapist? Step outside your limited Greco-Roman mindset.

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

@@AWBR_777, since you like my list so much and OBVIOUSLY need attention. This is for you. 1. You sound ridiculous. 2. I have to be a therapist to be observant and have real world experiences? 3. Are you a therapist? 4. Did you just feel the need to use big words today or show you understand different worldviews? 5. Now, I don't go back and forth with Internet strangers so you can respond if you like, you need to hear yourself talk, you feel like you have a point to prove, or it'll help you sleep better at night. I however, won't be responding no matter what you say. So, if you like leaving comments for yourself, be my guest.. 6. Have a day!

[@MutedMinimalist]

You forgot to add people don't have time or the money. Hard to make friends if you work full time and go to school or work a 2nd job just to afford things.

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

@@MutedMinimalist, thank you for your comment. However, I didn't forget those people. That hasn't been my experience dealing with people. It's not time or money they lack. It's the things I listed. In my experience, people have time as well as money for things and the people that are important to them . I'm not rich or wealthy by any means and I also have chronic health problems, but I don't have issues figuring those things out when necessary and I want to. It's a matter of priorities and what people deem important.

[@salamandah69]

I hated myself in the US because I couldn’t make friends. Then I learned that it wasn’t me but people in the US that are weird AF in the US. Moved out and now I have friends who like me for me.

[@DialloMoore503]

Where do you live now? I’m glad you’re happy and fulfilled now.

[@jefft8597]

Sometimes I get really lonely, then I watch a couple of "Your co-workers are NOT your friends" videos and then I find a good horror movie on YT to watch, and I am completely cured. Amazing!!

[@marissa._]

😂 I feel the same way sometimes. Like, I won't even go searching. It'll literally just pop up on my feed based off past similar videos I've seen that popped up on my feed. That's just how the algorithm works I guess. I'll see: - childfree content, - no-contact with relatives content, - employees aren't your friends content, - inflation content, - "the girl with the list, free birth control" content 😂 and other different types of content and I'm good. 🤷😂

[@Shaolin91z]

Peace in Christ surpasses all understanding. Peace in Christ negates loneliness. Thanks Lord for bible study class 😊

[@AWBR_777]

That's just masking the problem. You people are done! 😂

[@slavvalb3933]

Individualistic approach is what makes people lonely. Having supportive family is the only blessing. People here only go for friendship if they can get something from you.

[@ambivertical]

But not many ppl wany families

[@slavvalb3933]

​@@ambiverticalpeople who have no good families or their own, feel lonely. Having strong family or community is a blessing

[@ambivertical]

@@slavvalb3933 i agree. I’m very greatful for having a decent family who supports each other. But i know MANY who don’t have dads or moms. I wish I could connect with these ppl.

[@scottandrews947]

@@ambivertical People should be getting married and having kids. If they aren't doing this, they have no one to blame but themselves for their loneliness.

[@ambivertical]

@@scottandrews947 They are not taught by enough good examples, they are flooded by content that is selfish and enjoying single life. That is the default in western society currently. Not like in the pas.t. Ppl are deceived.

[@MegaJohnnycage]

It's the same in big cities in Australia like Melbourne , people already have their group of friends from school/uni etc and most people are unwilling to make new friends , it's really isolating for people who are not connected to a network. what is the saying, that is so true. "People are nice but not kind". feel like that is so true for big western cities.

[@jennifersmetanko6631]

I miss all the hugs I used to get when I was a kid. I Miss hugs so badly now as an adult. Yes everyone here in America is so distant and yes conversations tend to be superficial I can definitely confirm that. And everybody doesn't always smile and wave at you all the time or try to start conversations but there are people that do. And yes most people here in the Midwest of America will hold the door open for you everyone does it.

[@jiri6691]

I used to be sad about this trend but now I just accept it. When you know that everyone else is struggling in this area too, it is easier. :

[@stryder909]

On top of that most people in America have PROBLEMS. Issues you don't want to deal with, past traumas, personality issues, dietary issues, addictions, strange beliefs, on and on and on. You really have to make friends based on interest groups and not depend on general society. It's funny I had this Cuban neighbor that lives with his girlfriend who I hung out with sometimes and wants to hang out again but he never txts me. There's something in America that causes social withdrawal and flakiness.

[@bobbie31]

Yes. I often feel fooled. Although i was born in the USA, my parents are immigrants and raised us mainly as their culture. Friendship being so flimsy was a serious shock to me the older I got. I stopped trusting people. My brain needs consistency to trust. That lack of consistency quite literally scared me.

[@taranatarana714]

Everyone is not your friend. Especially other girls who don't like it when you are smart. A lot of smart girls here though. And you need to schedule your fun time around bills.🧿

[@candy2325]

The social media aspect have changed the dynamic of friendships. People just want to communicate online and not offline. When it’s someone’s birthday and people post about another’s birthday and the birthday person repost what everyone else posted about them and I feel like this whole thing is so performative. I fell into this trap before and I stopped doing it because if I want to wish someone a happy birthday then I reach out to THEM privately. I have their number, so there’s no need to be extra. Grand standing and putting on this show in front of all these people online to show how much of a great person I am acknowledging someone’s birthday felt so forced and it feels like it’s not really for them, so I completely stopped doing it. I’m being super intentional with my communication when handling friendships and not having this social media barrier blocking everything.

[@WTangoFoxtrot]

This is an important video. The woman at around minute 4 or 5. Is so right. I lived in Turkey for almost 2 years and they culture and friend to friend affection was beautiful. I wish we were more like that in the US

[@HellORhighwaters]

In the Uk, it’s next to impossible as an immigrant to have friends among locals. I used to think it’s cos of skin color but I see it’s not necessarily that. It doesn’t matter how nice and outgoing you are, it’s like they have an Unspoken rule to not bring you into their fold. After 3.8 years trying, I no longer bother anymore too. I just make friends with older people who are more receptive mostly because they are probably lonely too but at least I’m not completely alone that way.

[@Brenda-ny1gw]

That's smart. Maybe consider making friends with people from your same ethnicity who have more years than you in the UK

[@AstroBaby91]

This isn't a country for friends

[@noble604]

How strange since the American image and media are based on it and THE most popular tv show ever in 🇺🇸 Is literally called FRIENDS

[@AzetheReal]

​@nobleits its all an illusion my guy

[@AstroBaby91]

​@noble604 that's because everything america sells is fake. People see the US one way, but living here is knowing the truth

[@MBMB-rw3rn]

It’s the same in AFRICA!! Literally outside this country… in Africa it’s SUPPPPPPPPER EASY TO MAKE friends. Western society is just different, sometimes u don’t even know the person living next door. Then u gotta act a certain way so they don’t think you’re weirdo!

[@slavvalb3933]

In America that is. People live years next door, yet they do not know each other. Don't even say hello. Mainly because u are white and they are Afro Americans. The only way u know something happen to the neighbor somewhere when u smell putrefaction, and they neighbor discovered dead.

[@dinhos2000]

That's why I literally cry every time I return to the US from Africa.

[@Nwakaego_]

I’m retiring back home to Africa. America is so depressing and lonely.

[@DialloMoore503]

You’re very beautiful.

[@WTangoFoxtrot]

I think it is pretty hard to make real friends as an adult in the US. My closest actual friend I met because she is my sister in law. She is a blessing. But I wouldn’t have met her otherwise. Another close friend I met was the wife of my husbands friend who wanted to come over to our house with her husband. He husband and I mine talked about cars and she wanted to see the new kitten we got. She and I ended up getting along so well and became good friends. It’s hard at work because it’s hard to know who you can really trust.

[@celestialblue7229]

I've noticed even my oldest friend has become increasingly competitive with me lately and it's become so annoying. She's always had that streak and I always forgave her for it but it's almost like she's a frenemy because anytime I think something is going well, she has a way of putting me down and gloats about it. It's sad because I've known her for many, many years since high school. Also, I used to give out hugs to all of my friends in both greetings and good bye's and it was very normal until I met a girl from Sweden who thought I was a total weirdo for even trying to give her a slight hug on one shoulder lol. She proceeded to make fun of me after that with a fellow Swede and I got the message that it's not in their culture but to me it was just normal behavior. I also found it sad that they both came here to this country and thought making fun of my genuine attempt at innocent friendliness which was so normal to me was something to be so mean about so I became much more cautious after learning the hard way that not everyone wants even a slight hug or anything like that in greetings, not even a hand shake. That experience changed me that day and now I don't easily greet people the same way as I grew up, instead I wait to see if they want to hug first or if we mutually want to at the same time. Then there are people who just simply don't like to be touched at all and that's okay too and I respect their space. I just wish I had learned that boundary in a nicer way lol.

[@sonoio3631]

😂 come to Italy! We always hug and kiss each other on both sides as a greeting. Nobody will think you are a weirdo 😊

[@mariahg.6251]

@@celestialblue7229 I'm a hugger 1000%.

[@highlovevibration]

​​@@sonoio3631 my daughter said that Italy was her favorite place to visit when she was in the Navy, she bragged to me about how kind the people were towards her. She said how they loved her name and pronounced it so beautifully ☺️

[@BREEZYM6015]

I'm looking for someone to hang out with a few times a month to maybe go to lunch, a movie, or just sit and chat about life.

[@AHundred-ec5yq]

Keep looking lol your asking for someone rich 😂😂😂

[@A.D.I.I.D.A]

Cool 😎

[@Highpoweredwig]

Tinder, hinge, bumble, POF

[@07ikkin]

🙋 that's really all I want too

[@07ikkin]

​@@HighpoweredwigI've only tried bumble bff. Everybody there is " looking for friends and fun!" Yet doesn't respond to messages or request to meet up in real life. It's sad really

[@deandre22]

Once I got married a lot of my friends changed. I don't do bars or clubs and don't wish to be a wingman for your latest fling.

[@Shaolin91z]

Your friends are doing what single people do. They are who they've always been. Their situation didn't change. Yours did. You changed. 😂😂😂.

[@deandre22]

@@Shaolin91z true

[@OlutosinOjumu]

The lady at 25.00 is describing exactly why church has always been such a great place for me to meet people and make real friends: meeting the same people regularly, ie once a week around a shared interest of faith. Unfortunately many churches these days have turned into hard-nosed businesses so it is no longer values of kindness, gentleness and sincerity that are promoted, which also provide the right soil for good friendships to grow, but rather hard-nosed values to maximise profit. In some churches pastors do not even seem to care that people come to their churches to find community, and in my experience a certain pastor even vetoed my wish to build community, in the interests of "growing the church". However when church is done right, true friendships can flourish, which is probably why churches and other places of worship are often at the heart of different communities.

[@sarahprice3070]

Lonely because everyone is embarrassed to be broke

[@mrshelby4682]

the US is a crowded room full of lonely strangers, all just trying to survive. like a "holding cell"... or "concentration camp"... 🤔 or maybe America is just an "open air prison" where the "minimum security yard" is confused with "freedom"...

[@owatransportation]

You re on point. You do need a beer.

[@sonicleaves]

Truth

[@thesilentdiva]

Agreed

[@JapalekeFlybirds]

What a description!!! colloquial to say the least....

[@highlovevibration]

Wow, that looks like something I would've said, kindred spirits 😅 but yea, that's really the sad reality of it all isn't it..

[@nvr5490]

Of course you can't make friends on survival mode where everything is about counting who paid for what and splitting bills. You have to give to recieve , it's the law of attraction.

[@apara2005]

Great point!!!!!

[@remora8829]

this is western problem. other societies have the opposite problem, oversocialization. in my 3rd world country, companies and gov't always complain about people prioritizing their social life over work. people miss work to go to social events, and don't worry much about risk of loosing thier job. cuz they know they can depend on their social circle. but the sad part, its slowly declining due to 'civilization' aka westernization.

[@trydowave]

I thought this. Even though were constantly told how lucky we are i imagine we are indeed the poorer ones. In every way apart from financially.

[@theconcealedmistress]

Americans do the opposite. We're going to work and ditching the social event.

[@melinatedcreature202]

AMERICA AKA "BABYLON" IS OVER!!!!!!!!

[@Chase-g7s]

Yep.. but people hear you say that and the next minute forgot what u said... I guess let the Anti Christ tell them...I'm 4real

[@dinhos2000]

Your eyes are widely open bro. Sadly many can't see it

[@TheGuniverse2k]

💯

[@Shaolin91z]

Peace in Christ surpasses all understanding. Thanks Lord for bible study class. Thanks Lord for your salvation. Peace negates loneliness

[@AWBR_777]

Babylon is everywhere 🏛️👈

[@Joce123]

Friends take so much energy..

[@mariahg.6251]

@@Joce123 no. Leeches and vampires take copious amounts of energy. REAL friends understand the meaning of time, value and boundaries. When you're a kid you can put friends above all else because you're being guided most of the way and relying on parents for the difficult things. When adulthood comes crashing in, that's when reality forces you to compartmentalize and place things into hierarchy. Most "friends" can't handle being on the lower rung of the hierarchy so then things become fragmented, true colors start to show, and their perception of you changes because they still want all of your time and attention and think that more of what you believe to be important shouldn't trump their needs.[ I hope this makes sense! ]

[@CodyCole80]

Negative attitude: You won’t feel that way if something dreadful happens and you need them.

[@missdesireindependance5194]

In other countries outside the United States people develop community just by going outside their home. People in the USA have trust issues due to past trauma and don’t want friendships.

[@KLuqman01]

I'm sick of the "past trauma" buzzword. So all of a sudden, everyone has had a traumatic childhood. gfoh.

[@swordsnorchids1997]

I live in a small city in the Netherlands and even here it's a struggle to make friends it's unbelievable.. 😢

[@sharonloveschocolate]

True,i live in the Netherlands aswell and i have no friends at all and my mother,father and brother died.Friends in the past only used me when they needed money.Very sad😢

[@dm-jf5uu]

This is terrible I hope u find someone

[@nothingspecific.8119]

Internet has allot to do with this loneliness thing! Life was not at all like this when I was coming up! At 52, I love being single and free! 😁

[@WhatUp-j2z]

P

[@crystalyn2855]

Yes. Just don't get anyone pregnant 😅

[@nothingspecific.8119]

@@crystalyn2855 I'm a Christian man! And fornication is a sin before God!

[@Shaolin91z]

Thanks Lord for your salvation Thanks Lord for your peace Thanks Lord for girlfriends Thanks Lord for your salvation

[@owensdaniels6244]

Thanks!

[@Deeafricanperspective]

Thank you so much 😊 🙏❤️

[@ThePetit1989]

I remember back in the early 2000s, we moved to the States and there were other Senegalese kids in town. We went to the same high school. We would nonchalantly just lean into each other as we talked. We quickly learned that was that gay behavior lol. America, The Land Of Pirates 😅.

[@highlovevibration]

😂😂 wow, atleast you can laugh about it ☺️

[@gorgeouslady5612]

People don't even say Hello! to each other in America!.

[@DialloMoore503]

We do. It depends on what part of America you’re in.

[@gorgeouslady5612]

@@DialloMoore503 Not in Texas!.

[@thmoney25]

I have been living in the US all my life. I would have to say that I used to try to make friends when I was younger but I did not know any better. As I have gotten older I realize that having too many friends can wreak havoc on your life. I have been stabbed in the back from friends, partners, and family members. My friend is God. The spirit of God is never changing, or stabbing you in the back. People are depending on others to much to lift them up. I am sorry but if you need that much help you need to see a counselor. I hate to sound so cold but my environment has caused me to feel this way.

[@Shaolin91z]

Ice ice baby

[@Nickm-w8m]

Yes! It be the ones closest to us

[@natalierich5191]

I feel ya im the same way

[@sapphirelane1714]

Phew, thank goodness I grew up as a loner! So used to this feeling. It’s just another day. Gotta stop relying on other humans.

[@venvnco6259]

In the last 5 years sadly America has really gone down hill.

[@amonzart2379]

A wise person once told me: We are not an actual society but just large pool of individuals that are only prevented to kill each other by the law. The only salvation we have nowadays is having a caring familiy (if you were lucky enough to grew up with one) I cant even blame capitalism because this only changes people at the grade they want to be affected by this one. Boomers are not different so modernity is not also to blame, Majority of my parents friends or grandparents friends also vanished at some point just forgot about them Most of relationships are build only from convenience, genuine friendship have always been rare. People can be nice or polit with you at your work place, supermarket and neighbourhood but does not mean they are your friends.

[@Shaolin91z]

Salvation is in Christ alone. Not family

[@gabydoncella4032]

This is just super sad😢

[@TheGuniverse2k]

That's why people are happier in other countries. Energetic exchange. My mom used to say you need 13 hugs a day to be normal and in middle school I had everyone hugging. Honestly through college hugs were normal from various ppl. Then outside the institution its DANGEROUS to touch ppl. Especially males. We are so energetically deprived here in day to day society & the rushing aspect is so embedded due to capitalism. I used to be walking away as i was finishing s sentence all the time then think why am i acting like I'm walking away lol. That's why ppl always assumed i was so busy. But yea someone said it exactly "AMERICA IS NOT A COMMUNITY ITS A BUSINESS" and there's nothing truer than THAT.

[@Shaolin91z]

Thanks Lord for your salvation and peace. Peace in Christ surpasses all understanding. Bible study class gives you peace

[@TheGuniverse2k]

@@Shaolin91z what?

[@highlovevibration]

​@@TheGuniverse2k 😂😂 this person's posting that all over the place..

[@thebunker6350]

America used to be amazing before social media , its cooked now. Its so bad i'm planning on leaving

[@Ms.MD7]

I actually thrive in an individualistic society which thankfully America is. So many ppl are so weird these days; too dramatic, social justice warrior activists, scummy frauds, addicted to their phones, main character syndrome, etc. Lol I guessed to each of their own. I've cut down my close knit of friends down to 3 ppl whom I see from time to time and that's ok for me. I'm also pretty blessed to have an amazing, non toxic immediate family members and I truly cherish that coz I know not a lot of ppl are not blessed with that.

[@ellea88]

I recently became more intentional about making female friendships, and now I have a solid group of 8 very good friends. I talked about it in counseling the last couple of years, hoping to get more real friends. At first I had 3 very bad experiences with fake women friends, and almost gave up hope. In a couple weeks I’m hosting a Practical Magic themed house party with just my girl friends. We will make body scrubs and essential oil perfumes, midnight margaritas, a door prize for the best dressed witch, and dance to the movie soundtrack! And 3 of the girls even offered separately to cook the dinner for the party! 🎉 I’m so excited and thankful. Dont give up on it. I didn’t give up and it worked. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@duchesseebene1273]

Everything can be done online now, which reduces our need for interactions BUT healthy social (offline) relationships are vital for our wellbeing and survival! Yes you can work remotely, order everything to be delivered, check-in with family remotely if you haven't completely distanced yourself, take part in online communities, self-pleasure with your adult toys, and have one-player hobbies. But what an unfortunate life that is.

[@highlovevibration]

💯Perfectly stated

[@tuttuttut7758]

Get a hobby, go online to meet people with shared interests, stop with the constant social media. Get a side job or go volunteering. Maybe at a festival, win win. Look for free activities in your neighborhood. If you want to be lonely, fine. If you don’t, it needs constant work to connect with people. If you want community, be the community

[@JapalekeFlybirds]

Some truth to this rhetoric...

[@Jesse-or4ce]

If you want to see loneliness and distance come to Germany. Here is much much colder. Every time I go to the US, I’m so happy that people are talking to each other randomly. Americans are a lot more outgoing than Germans. I’ve lived in Germany for 10 years and I’ve made one friend. One.

[@highlovevibration]

This is honestly one of the most valuable videos I've seen on youtube, all these perspectives are so true...living in America can be so painful

[@lallana2882]

Ya, I'm good with strangers not touching me, thanks.

[@moneystrb22]

I swear some people in America solely have kids to have “mom friends” or because all of their friends have kids so they feel like they have to do it too

[@BeautifulLife000H]

I'm 62 and have no one I can call in an emergency for a ride, or health issue. I am a very friendly person. I don't want to have physical relations with a man due to health problems. Every man wants that, so I am single. It's too weird going places with women.

[@adriansteele7023]

I think qhen you realize that everyone else is just as anxious/awkward/scared to talk to someone new it makes it easier to approach people, because you can meet them on a level

[@notabolished1331]

Seriously!!! This is not the season to rely on others for support. The hearts of many have already turned evil.There's a much bigger Power you need to take away the depression that few are tapping into.

[@Shaolin91z]

Which is......😬

[@ronaldtrunk7944]

i have only one friend. he's from high school. otherwise, i've been friendless for so many years. everyone else is superficial and transactional

[@Theamandaa]

It could also be that maybe majority of people dont put in the work or effort to keep communication with their friends. Me personally, I try very hard to keep communication with my friends. Most of the time im initiating conversation or trying to hang out with my friends and its almost never reciprocated. I have two solid friends that actively talk to me. I still try to keep that communication but its exshausting putting in so much effort with little return. Or just maybe they have no interest in hanging out with me 😂😂😂😂

[@lynnharris9454]

I don't think you should take it personally. A lot of people are just mentally drained physically and spiritually from our everyday lives. We literally do not have time to interact with you everyday, it doesn't mean we don't like you.

[@vernoniqueomosanya8931]

I know the feeling

[@apara2005]

​@@lynnharris9454of you can't invest equally then you are an acquaintance not a friend.

[@theconcealedmistress]

Nobody has money or time for all these different damn events! People living off credit cards and shit! Go to therapy and find something to do!

[@TarahWolf]

Quite the opposite for me. I still commuted to work during 2020. I've discovered I enjoy being alone. The peace, quiet and truly getting to know myself and the things I enjoy without the social pressures and stigmas was like a breath of fresh air. Strengthening my spiritual connection and steering away from the poorly constructed illusion of this perfect reality America likes to shove in our faces daily. I enjoy my time alone, I don't have the desire to go out and meet new people. If it happens organically that's great, I've come to truly cherish the small circle of friends I do have, but even then I still crave my personal space. There's a video called "Happier Alone" that sums up the wonderful feeling of "isophilia.

[@Twinklestar932]

Have not had any friends in 17 YEARS NOW. Im 53. I'm actually very happy. No sex 17 YEARS NOW. No family my whole life. Been by myself since I was 10 YEARS OLD. My daughter is 17 YEARS OLD

[@Deep_Matter_Analyetic]

Very interesting topic but my problem is completely the polar opposite. I can’t work and pay my bills on time because of too much friends nagging everyday

[@Ms.MD7]

Lol same, I need these ppl to leave me alone

[@jerryburnett5469]

If you are chronically alone..... how are you able to have multiple miscarriages

[@kimjackson557]

Hmmmm

[@fewcusi]

I wondered the exact same thing.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

No one talks to each other at my church it’s weird

[@highlovevibration]

That is weird.. the one place you'd think that would be different, is the same as everywhere else...sad

[@kenswireart88]

If u human in america first thing people r gonna think is how easy you will b to fulfil their fantasies. I tried being human.with.a guy then noticed that he thought i was gay and started letting me know indirectly he was and happy he found me then i had to let him know i wasn't....indirectly by stepping away.

[@johndasilva2686]

The west is a rat race in a human jungle. England especially London is a cold hostile unfriendly place. If your single with no family or friends , it must be absolutely awful . Being on your own can be stressful, and it will effect your health. Like my wife we were both born in London of caribbean heritage . Both our sets of parents were also married. We're old school, it helps to have a family unit with both parents. The caribbean hasn't got the opportunity or money like the west but it's 100% a happier healthier place to live in. People greet and talk to each other.

[@PikaChu-uz4su]

21:30 Omg this so much. I’ve been feeling very conflicted and sad lately because I thought the reason I’m no longer close to my friends was because I was a bad friend. But I’ve been slowly realizing that these “friendships” I had were just us hanging out a few times a month and we only texted each other when making plans to meet. This was easy when we were all single and had free time but now that we’re married and some of us moved across the country and/or had kids, we barely keep in touch. It makes me realize that I was just a space filler at their parties. I always wondered why I struggle to keep in touch but it’s because we never there for each other during our hardest times. I can’t just call them if I want someone to talk to.. and these are people i’ve been “friends” with for over 15 years! I’m not saying it was only their fault but now I have no idea how to make and STAY friends with people.

[@RoyalBlood23]

Relatable to the third power -not nice to figure out the true power of deep friendship after your best years are gone ❤

[@xagonent4942]

It's pretty easy for me to make friends. I meet the most random people day to day, I have genuine connections with people throughout my life, and yeah I am not really alone. Gym, work, on the road...etc. I'm just a introverted social guy.

[@ChicVibz]

My day was entirely lonely at home in my building ,on my way to work, at work, on my way home from work and then lonely again when I got back home.. I legit had to hold myself back from screaming and crying out the pain and suffering from it in front of the hand full of people on the train ride home

[@RUSTY-A-L]

Pre-industrial society your faith & family and relations was your social circle until you married then you focused on your own family. Now money, materialism & social status all things superficial dominate modern life.

[@dbrown9495]

You have be very careful when trying to find friends. You can be polite but your good friends who are tried and true is who youll be more trusting of.

[@willieharris20]

Americans are all very different and the political climate being very hostile especially with the ME TOO movement killed all social interactions, everyone is basically suspicious of each other.

[@_JackNapier]

When you're alone you should call this condition tranquility and freedom, and think of yourself like the gods; and when you are with many, you shouldn't call it a crowd, or trouble, or uneasiness, but festival and company, and contentedly accept it. -Marcus Aurelius

[@Renan064]

Here’s my take on this situation: I sense that we live in a society that inherently bullies people into believing they must be successful, and worse, that they must portray this success to others at all times in order to exist or simply to have something worth sharing. This constant pressure creates a lot of shame, because admitting to our current situation-our struggles, isolation, and burnout-feels like a burden or failure simply put. It’s easier to isolate than to confront this mess together; to admit to the hoax we must buy into in order to simply socialize in this society, specially as an adult. The very existence of this video (thanks for making it, Dee-love your content!) points directly to this problem. Your catalogue reflects so accurately the cultural landscape we’re all living in, where the background necessary for building or maintaining relationships (be it economical, professional, educational, political, etc…) simply doesn’t exist; Bottom line: there’s no horizon worth sharing; future prospects have been stamped out and the higher percentage of people out there feel unfit to participate. If encounters we’re to be remotely honest, most conversations would necessarily shift toward catastrophizing (I mean, seriously, look at the sheer amount of reports compiled in this channel), because that’s frankly the reality we are made to face. It’s no wonder so many of us, myself included, often need to socialize with a drink (or several) in hand. There’s just so much left unaddressed, so much we don’t know how to deal with and on top of it, one must pretend there are “things going for them” when the reality is that the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be, for real, an oncoming train at full throttle. We end up numbing ourselves, pretending to have fun, while everyone is in fact burned out from constantly portraying success and high spirits. It’s mentally exhausting. The dissonance between what we feel and what we are forced to display makes socializing painful. The “easier” option is to withdraw-to avoid facing the shame of admitting that this is the mess individuals have to live with, and worse, to share with our peers. This video also points to a pervasive loss of perspective and the fatigue that comes with being constantly overwhelmed by information. We’re tired, and it’s showing in the way we retreat from each other in order not to have to portray something or someone that simply just doesn’t exist or that we likewise can’t believe in any longer. Overall, most of us feel unfit to connect because we believe we "lack" the things generally deemed worth sharing, so we just kinda... stop altogether. Your channel highlights this very lack-videos filled with people of all walks of life attesting to the missing backdrop where connection and trust could flourish; or at least sustain the hope for it. Unfortunately, this video comes as no surprise to me as I sense isolation is a defense mechanism against the big hoax I just mentioned. We’ve been dealt a rough hand, my friends, and I genuinely wish us all the strength and fortitude to keep going. Sorry if this seems too meta, but I hope it resonates with some of you as it hits very hard for me.

[@thesilentdiva]

Rugged individualism​ is killing us

[@petalflower107]

I like physical touch but in a respectful and friendly way. I do it all the time with people in the U.S. and so far no one complaint. And also love the hug culture here.

[@yamuthaho]

Strangers touching you is a form of disrespect to a lot of Americans. Sometimes I have physical contact with friends but strangers is a no. Our culture is different and within it’s context this is what I believe as an American.

[@madisonm.2969]

I feel like c0v1d destroyed so many 3rd spaces and existing community cultural events. A lot of people got sick, moved away when things got really hard, friend groups and whole music and other cultural scenes completely changed as venues closed and bands broke up. As a musician this is a good reminder to start going to shows again. Its only going to get better if we start going out again and being in places that you dont have to spend a bunch of money in.

[@naamanmagnusanthony9035]

People forget that America is for professional growth and making money. And, there is nothing wrong with that, it serves its purpose. If you can cultivate a good healthy lifestyle for your personal life then you have figured out how to be a well rounded individual.

[@charlesmitchell5841]

Purple looks good on you!

[@Japhet_driver]

I do believe everyone is just not admitting they are lonely. Even with the ones on friendships

[@Thera-Bri]

Dee you have a good channel. I like how you use others voices to explain a certain situation or topic and narrate us throughout the story. I love watching your videos. Especially as a #Neurodiverse person

[@Maxed2]

I live in a smaller town we mostly get along around here and were diverse.I belive our problem is a lack of places to socilze in .

[@goat7844]

3:39-3:50 multiple miscarriages. Were you married? If not where was the man who impregnated you at? It seems like you continue to put yourself in unfavorable positions multiple times.

[@kazbah1217]

The decline of society hit warp speed the moment the internet was birthed.

[@chloemarzipan6770]

Your crochet fishnet top is so cute!!!

[@LuvSCole]

I’m an American I’m 27 and have 3 great friends from childhood and recently made 2 new friends 🤷🏾‍♀️ America is not a one size fit all ppl are different n things are different for different ppl … plus I don’t force new friendships we either click like that or we don’t n im very selective of who I let b around me fr … but I hate how ppl generalize America one this new generation doesn’t kno how to make friends or be friends n two we in a different age of technology that plays a big role but still u can make friends if u really want too .. a lot of ppl are too intimidated by society

[@clintoni856]

i no longer meet friends , im still hoping too ever grow close enough to someone that ill ever be able to trust well enough too meet for a second social date or fishing trip ive just never been able to trust many people in my life even family !