DOES THE NARCISSIST REGRET ANYTHING?

[@andersdottir1111]

I suspect that they regret they hadn’t treated us even worse when they had the opportunity before we escaped.

[@pamaylward]

Spot on!! Taking them back signals full forgiveness, full permission to pick up where they left off, and less respect/more abuse.

[@susanauger3758]

Getting caught

[@kellithomas9080]

Yea my ex said “I should’ve just lied” after I displayed anger and sadness. He never saw a problem with the actual offense and he even justified why he did it and said he did whatever he had to do in order to get over me and be able to function. He was mad at me for my reaction and told me I needed to get over it because it happened a long time ago. What an evil person he was. I sit back and replay so many different things and the more I study this disorder, the more I understand what happened. It’s like he had me under a spell and he would abuse me in a subtle way, but then give me intermittent reinforcement and show acts of kindness and tell me how much he cared and loved me. The actions never matched the words and even when it did, it wasn’t for a substantial amount of time. He would be a certain way for maybe a month and then when I’d hold him accountable for something, he would shut down and justify it saying “I can’t do anything right. I am giving you my all and it’s still not enough. So I tell you what, let’s just be cool because this isn’t working for us” it would hurt me to my core and I was sooooo confused! It’s so many layers to this, it makes me sick. I’m thankful to understand what it’s been all these years, but I’m extremely disappointed that I now have a 7 year old with this guy who I thought at one point was the love of my life and a decent human being. But for now, I am focused on healing and I don’t communicate with him unless I absolutely have to and it’s thru email. I miss my Son when he’s with his Dad, but in order to protect my mental health, I don’t reach out at all. I just wait until I get him again and love on him as much as I can. I know it’s probably not the best situation but I realize I must do this in order to heal. I don’t think we will ever have a good coparenting relationship because I just don’t trust him or his acts of kindness any longer. He still finds ways to irritate me and then when I react, I am labeled the crazy one. I just decided to stop playing his game altogether. My Son won’t be 7 forever and I’m hoping he won’t develop certain issues from this, but I have no other choice.

[@dramafan08]

Good analogy with tripping the bully out of reactive abuse.

[@dramafan08]

They also vomit your exact words back to you.

[@jayjo77144]

One statement I despise is ‘I don’t know what you mean ‘ After you have explained what your boundary is Another good. Video I like your channel

[@pixelteriyaki3320]

I'm guilty of the "vetting people better regret, in the form of "I wish I had stronger boundaries / self respect", it's from ignoring red flags and hoping that things will change, i tend to allow a lot of things to pass until it becomes an issue which is probably unhealthy. I didn't realise this was a form of blame shifting or avoiding accountability :(

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Don’t get me wrong. There certainly are situations where you could legitimately say “I should have vetted this person better”. But narcissists will say this about someone that was only reacting to the narcissist’s abusive behavior. It isn’t always a way to blame shift.

[@drlarrymitchell]

Only if it cost them something.

[@bradmcewen]

Lucy had no regrets. I saw Charlie Brown take the bait every single time. He knew it was coming but thought maybe, just maybe this time would be different. Then had to pay her 5 cents for psychiatric advice. What a racket....

[@hissyfitz7890]

Great analogy! It’s bad enough that we were conditioned & indoctrinated by our home never mind the external exposures.

[@darrellewhitby5899]

Every video, every clip and post on social media is 100% spot on. You are doing great work.

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Thank you. Thanks for watching!

[@april-mo8tj]

I look forward for your videos!! Thank you!!

[@Truth-matters-v2z]

So interesting. My husband began saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” which I told him was dismissive which of course he denied. Then one day I used that line on him and he called it a lame apology lol.

[@shaykosovac8722]

My former narc cheated for 4 years and lied of course. Then got angry bc i filed for divorce. Then became more angry when i started dating. 4 months into my new relationship, she tried to hoover me back with classic love bombing.

[@danovangrinnell4479]

Had her daughter lying to me which blew her chance going to College I dissapeared 😆

[@karenangel8922]

Well you do do and say horrendous things to the narcissist, reactive abuse, I did plenty of it, I certainly did not suffer in silence, I said things I would have never thought I would say to anyone.

[@redpilljesus]

Huge regrets about that. We treat them like children and think we just have to be clear - more clear than last time - except they _don't want_ to get it.

[@debbielighthall9671]

He has no empathy So his saying he takes responsibility for the pain he caused me while we were together was total bullshit He is the most evil and cruel person I have ever know

[@shaykosovac8722]

They only regret their loss. Not because they hurt anyone.

[@danovangrinnell4479]

All i did was to call her out my she went off the chain Just sat back n watch her spin like a top 😆

[@bradmcewen]

That is when unbeknownst to you, I did the same thing, when more plotting and skeeming is occurring than we possibly can imagine. Idk your situation but mine did this literally dozens of times using womanly wiles as a business attractant. First encounters with this type not knowingly their existence vs. an experienced predator is no match. But once knowledge is gained the tables are turned. It always but always takes a self preservation decision to get out. Their joy is in someone else's pain.

[@RickP-y2w]

They would rather lose you and everything in their life than take any responsibility. Then totally blame you as the problem. Huh???