Lorelai Gets Mocked on Her Birthday | Gilmore Girls

“I can’t blow out my own candles?”
Season 3 Episode 18: Happy Birthday, Baby
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[@queencleopatra007]

I think Emily blew this all out of proportion. I understand her being worried, but this would've been a good time for her to just be honest and express that she just wants to spend time with her daughter, no strings attached.

[@aph1976]

Plus instead of been forced to attend Friday night dinners maybe Lorelai might have been willing to see her parents at other times during the week.

[@duangjais]

I think Emily overreacts because Lorelai wasn’t in their lives at all until she needed the money for Chilton. It’s the hurt that was buried that came up uncontrollably. Lorelai actually did not say that she would continue to come to dinner as she returned the money. Emily needs that assurance.

[@StewNWT]

except she never does that, and NO ONE calls her on it. Just like Lorelai always does sarcastic escalation instead of genuine deescalation. They both lash out at each other in their own way instead of talking shit out. It's incredibly immature of both of them and on repeat watchings of this show it becomes progressively more annoying

[@rachelmartin5187]

She did, but unfortunately, despite shading and trying to talk down to each other, constantly, the Gilmore were BAD at communication. Like the time Emily gaslit Lorelai after Trix was planning on giving Rory millions of dollars in tuition money. She could've talked, but they didn't. She and Richard had many chances to reconcile with Lorelai, but they never did. The fact that it took 8 seasons to get Lorelai and Emily in therapy says ALOT.

[@GibbyCat]

I’m 100% on Lorelai’s side. She told them from day 1 that as soon as she was able to she would pay them back. On top of that, Emily lorded the loan over Lorelai’s head to control her and force a relationship with her. I understand Emily’s feeling why she needs to feel the need to take the choice from her, but that doesn’t make it okay.

[@sarahnour5561]

My parents grew up in a culture where family members give each other money all the time, with no expectation of getting paid back. I remember my mother being appalled at Lorelai's behavior here. She said Lorelai was mean to deprive her parents of the pleasure of paying for Chilton with no strings attached, Rory being their only granddaughter and all. As a teenager, I sided with Lorelai here, but as an adult, I recognize that her hyper-independence and stubborn refusal to swallow her pride or be in debt to her parents for ANYTHING are signs of unresolved trauma that she should have addressed in therapy long ago.

[@Hellooo-lc9dr]

@@sarahnour5561very interesting Way of thinking

[@kylewilkins6149]

This woman had a cake with candles lit for her daughter’s birthday and she doesn’t even allow her own daughter to blow out her own candles and she calls her childish for wanting to? This woman is toxic as hell

[@citydweller99]

I see both Lorelei and Emily's point of views.

[@cassie1560]

Lorelai 100% in the right here

[@TheInvisibleGiraffe]

I’m actually a bit disappointed how this plot point panned out because it was such an amazing opportunity for growth from both Emily and Lorelei. Emily needed to learn how to have a relationship without strings and without control with her daughter, and it would have been AMAZING to see Lorelei actually want to spend time with her parents. It is instead solved by the basically the original agreement being put back and place and no development at all. It feels wasted.

[@StewNWT]

exactly

[@cfinley81]

Lorelai should have known how her mother would take this. She should have done this in private, not at the birthday celebration.

[@aph1976]

Are you saying Emily would have been okay with it even if Lorelai had told her in private about paying back the money?Plus Emily sort of started it since she's the one who put the condition about Friday night dinners as part of the deal she made with Lorelai for the money.

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

How is with your daughter (the reason it all started) and her parents (the one they're getting the money from) in their house, not private? 💀

[@cfinley81]

I didn't stutter. I said what I said. Deal with it.

[@NeverEverAlexEver]

Omg. I’m Lorelai’s (and, arguably, Christopher’s) age. I can’t imagine having a Rory. Would love a Star’s Hollow though.

[@amaz3624]

Emily’s fear of rejection

[@rustjones385]

I understand the feeling of hating borrowing money from a person. Lorelei was saving up every day towards paying them back. It was never her intention not to. Even if she has a "good relationship" with her parents, I feel like she would still not want to owe them that much money because she is an independent person and she will always hold a grudge against them. Emily wants to actually feel like a mother and grandmother. She doesn't want to "loan" her family money. She wants to be seen as an equal that can provide for her family without strings attached like some stranger. That's what hurts her. Both sides are wrong. Lorelei should respect her parents more but she obviously has some kind of trauma. If richard and emily are truly older and wiser they should find a way to have a heartfelt talk with lorelei and correct the past, but they never do. What I'll never understand about Emily is that she treats Lorelei like shit but values her presence so much. If my mom talked to me this way every time I saw her I would avoid her too. It's not like lorelei is some drug dealer. She's just a little quirky and got pregnant at 16.

[@rogueryder3285]

Classic sign of how abusive of a mother she was. Lorelai has constantly reminded them sonce Day 1 that se owed the. They agreed to the arrangement because Richard and Emily were to be financially involved in Rory's life and pay for her prep school education. Even Emily, in the beginning, started to hold it over her own daughter's head to blackmail her. She didn't think Emily would get upset over oaying back a loan. The pain they inflicted on Lorelai since she was a child was too much for her to handle so she left. She was free of that pain. And for them to not once apologize for the way the treated her, it's intolerable. It took them fifteen and a half years to get her back into their house and begin a relationship with her and her daughter and every time she tried meeting them halfway, they clobbered her with this childish behavior. What is so wrong with being grateful for a loan and delivering on your promise to pay it back? That's how adulthood works. Emily was childish and selfish as usual. Lorelai kept her word and she resents her for it. Throughout these 3 seasons, she's come over to their house because she wants to, not as an obligation

[@patriciaramirez2982]

okay maybe giving them the check at the birthday dinner was wrong, but lets not act like if she had done it any other day or in any other way Emily wouldn't have been just as upset, I don't understand why they all just accept that they have to cater to Emilys feelings cus she"LL overreact like a child

[@lovefromwonderland]

Emily definitely felt holding that over Lorelai’s head was the only way Lorelai would willingly spend time with her. That’s why she freaked out like that. That makes me sad. She couldn’t have just said “Hey you will still come over and spend time with us, right?” She didn’t have to alienate Lorelai like this.

[@KIWIMADNEZ]

Why is everyone defending Emily? She’s incredibly toxic and loves to gloat when things go her way then throws a hissy fit when it doesn’t. Only toxic people like this toxic woman.

[@AB-mx1de]

💯

[@LabyrinthTaylorsVersion]

Emily is so controlling.

[@angeninetytwo]

I think Emily is clearly incapable of expressing herself and Lorelai is way too self absorbed to know that what she does has consequences.. match made in heaven lol

[@larina023]

I’m sorry, but how/when did Lorelai plan to pay back the money? She was about to open her own inn, travel through Europe for 2-3 months… Was she saving money? What was her plan?

[@RilianSharp]

Lorelai did nothing wrong, but i wonder why she gave the check to Emily. Richard was the one who gave them the money for Chilton.

[@halyketarrant]

Ok but for once I stand at Emily’s side. Her reaction is understandable, even if a bit exaggerated - but let’s remember who are we talking about. Remember her reaction when Rory spent the night out by accident? - since we know her pain for having a distant daughter. And Lorelai could have just chose a better moment to say something like this. RORY, the teen girl, knew it wasn’t a good idea. And look and the “for god’s sake lorelai” gaze her father gave her. literally everyone knew immediately how stupid of an idea it was, except for her. Her lack of tact always bothered me.

[@athirab6183]

Yes, Emily as usual went a lil overboard, but Lorelei saying she doesn’t need their help anymore is so funny. It’s literally her parents money that is going back to them. Not the money she earned.

[@tabbykitty994]

poor Lauralei

[@michaelobrien687]

I say Emily overreacted

[@freeinghumanitynow]

#TeamEmily4Life

[@joanclayton5212]

Lorelei was 100% the spoiled one. She acts like Emily is overbearing and abusive but her mom is just acting like a mom. The same way she treats Rory, Mrs Kim treats Lane, Shera treats Logan, She’s not some terrible monster. And It’s sad she had to give her child money just to be able to see her and her grandchild once a week. Even Rory was sad because she knew this would be the end of their relationship. So she asked for more money.

[@freeinghumanitynow]

Lorelai is an awful, spoiled brat baby mama. She's spiteful and immature and Queen Emily deserves better.

[@Bloooooooooooppp]

Paying back a loan is spoiled?

[@mikilacunningham6259]

​@@Bloooooooooooppp Emily is that helicopter mom/mother that wanted her kid to be a copy of herself & takes lil digs at her own daughter because she couldn't model her in her image. To not get her 💔 Lorelei just uno reverse her mom to not show the true hurt.... The money was a tool to control... Emily was so happy she was right & Lorelei needed needed to swallow her pride for the loan & she was smug AF about it... Lorelei was not she was gracious and appreciated Rory is guilty because she did the same thing and ran from them too.... And she had all the time in the world to ask her mom if they could continue w the family dinners....

[@RilianSharp]

Emily is trash

[@JoseDiaz-bs1jg]

Another example of ungrateful lorelai,,, The only reason she was there is money,,, enily though that if she made her come she will stay ,,,, Even rory can see ,,,

[@hillyplays29]

She did say she'd pay them back.

[@frenzelventura8910]

Lorelai… With the emotional inteligence of a child. She loved to provoque her parents to victimice herself and justify her childlike behavior

[@freeinghumanitynow]

Lorelai is awful. She's an awful daughter and an even worse mother. I just can't with this character. Anyway, Emily is Queen! Lol. 😀

[@zellanutellaa]

I don’t understand how lorelai is a bad person for this. She said she’d pay her back and she did Emily is garbage

[@RilianSharp]

Emily is trash. all she does is criticize and try to control everyone like they're her dolls.