Love Expert Reveals Why 80% Of Modern Relationships FAIL… | Esther Perel

[@johnevemerton]

Challenges in relationships are a normal part of life, but there’s always a path forward. My marriage encountered major difficulties, but with proper guidance, my wife and I managed to resolve our issues and deepen our connection. If you’re willing to put in the work and collaborate, solutions are always within reach. Keep hope alive; there are answers out there..

[@sherryanderson-y2p]

I’m facing serious problems in my relationship and can’t stand the thought of losing him. I love and miss my partner greatly and am willing to do whatever it takes to have him back. Any advice or guidance you can provide would be deeply appreciated.

[@johnevemerton]

Saying goodbye to someone you cherish is consistently difficult, yet in my case, I received support from a spiritual advisor who kept my marriage intact. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@sherryanderson-y2p]

I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for him deeply.

[@johnevemerton]

Yes. You definitely should

[@keevancrawford6708]

People treat their friends better than the people they are intimate with, which is wildly reflective.

[@amc3964]

Lying is the biggest issue

[@tanmaychauhan4155]

Because friends prioritise understanding.

[@keevancrawford6708]

@@tanmaychauhan4155 something to think about

[@R12-x3z]

My relationship. He was ok leaving me for months and going out on his dates with his “just” friend.

[@hshfyugaewfjkKS]

People STRONGLY underestimate the importance of attunement and tiny bids for connection.

[@maartenvz]

In relationships the little things are the big things. Being kind, giving each other a hug or kiss when you see each other, take some time to check in with each other. Thats what gives the relationship its beauty. If thats absent you cant fix it with bold things like expensive gifts

[@lindatannock]

I'd rather have that kind of emotional connection than a gift anyday! A hug can mean SO much, and make a huge difference to your day. Make time to actually connect with each other in a meaningful way, rather than using a gift as a solution to what's missing in a relationship.

[@icysnow57cold64]

I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. It seems like it's impossible for men and women to emotionally connect with each other. Women do emotionally connect with other women, better than men do. Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone. Women tend to be more emotionally intelligent, more caring, more empathic, more compassionate, more affectionate, more loyal, more nurturing, more understanding, more sympathetic, more sensitive, more kind-hearted, more peaceful, more calmer, more gentle, more selfless, more expressive, more intuitive, and more outward than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can’t with men. Men, on the other hand, are not that emotional, and thus can’t bond with other men in a special way. Women regulate emotion better. Women are more comfortable being around with other women than they are with men. They have a type of bond that usually men with women won’t really have, or with men and men. Also, girls that are friends touch each other in ways that guys just don’t.

[@jimmysmith736]

All bollox, women essentially want to be dominated, and when you act that way around her, it takes away that sexual dominance, if you act emotional then she will stare at other non emotional men when she’s out and want the other, women will never know what they want. Therefore it’s better to stay non emotional to not look like a complete twat when you are out

[@3308redar]

​@icysnow57cold64 it doesn't sound at all like a question, more like you want confirmation for your rigid beliefs about men and women.

[@trapkat8213]

That girl Esther is very articulate and very good at getting her point across. I am supersensitive to being ignored, and I consider it very rude when somebody suddenly whips out a phone and retreats into their own world in the middle of a conversation. I don't really understand how anybody can do something like that without being aware of how it is perceived. I am old though, didn't grow up with mobile phones.

[@pauldavids7167]

Unfortunately not all are consciously awake, at this time. Plus younger generations have not been taught correctly what respect is.

[@AverageAngel]

the death of a relationship is when people take each other for granted - Esther Perel. Great quote!

[@BQ900]

That’s why I put my phone away and really listened to my friend. That’s how we fell in love. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@opiniwise]

Platonic love, or....?

[@BQ900]

@@opiniwise what is platonic love? No Eros

[@opiniwise]

@@BQ900 Like friendship relationship or romantic relationship? What were you talking about

[@BQ900]

@@opiniwise you don’t know what Eros is? He’s not looking for a friend. He’s got friends.

[@jameslourens8691]

It is so refreshing to find an expert who condenses the problems and solutions down to the essentials. Esther is amazing. 🙌

[@rgw5991]

the problem is that women are mean.

[@GhislaineBeauce]

I really appreciate Esther Perel! And whilst most people take relationships for granted, it's our interpersonal relationships that offer the greatest opportunities for personal growth. So yes, make the effort!

[@ayonalovecoaching]

True words

[@laurag6879]

Well said❤❤

[@compugab]

I think that there are 3 key component of this video: 1. The ambiguous loss. It explains why somebody might feel that they lost the connection but might not do anything about it because of the ambiguity. 2. The concept of bid for connection. A relationship is like a string. That string is made up of a lot of little threads. Each thread is to successful connection. Therefore if somebody tries to connect with you, bid for a connection, they try to increase that string between both of you. It applies to all relationship. 3. The small thing. It makes me think about the book "The tipping point." We often think that change comes from big things while in fact it's the little things that accumulate and become big.

[@draneesahmuhammad]

Putting creativity, attention, and effort into the relationship, as she says, goes a long way!

[@Zenji93]

9:40 "She's absolutely right!" Steven: "Fuck" 😂

[@fredwaneket]

Nice catch

[@addormitus]

🤣🤣

[@benascg-ll7sq]

She makes me proud to be Belgian...rule#1 to feel loved you must feel seen and not in competion like with a phone for example

[@user-cs4fg7bh4r]

Parents polish lol

[@shoutatthesky]

Isn't she Jewish?

[@damo9961]

Or a child

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

And in competition with who they are perving at on their ph 😂

[@chrisjenkins4035]

Esthel is by far the best relationship expert there is! Many coaches have shared and followed her wise words.

[@Georgemoore-hl2ff]

Hi chris🌹🌹 How are you doing?

[@ITT2023]

Esther and Terry Real, Stan Tatkin, the Gottmans...

[@ahmedjarttu5013]

100%true ,i watched her videos are lot

[@razarraz8276]

Yup exactly, a lot of people take relationships for granted! I used to believe in true love but I don't anymore. I do not think you can truly love someone unless you are able to communicate and work through not only the good times but the hard times too. I saw my great granny devoted to her husband and even after he died she prayed for him every night before bed until she died herself like 16 years later. Their life wasn't easy, they had 8 children and a small 1bed house in the Caribbean, but they obviously worked through their issues and had a big loving family as a result

[@martakeczek6476]

I can understand your point of view, I've been there for like always (thanks, parents...); to me love is like my other important word with many meanings: passion. It's not just a feeling, it's not just a statement of what I've done right or wrong... it's not just potential. It's a mix of being aware of the potential, cultivationg it and facing what's wrong and trying to fix it thoughtfully. I think ppl in general take for granted also other relationships, like friendship. True AND unconditional love is just not taught, not talk about enough, so it feels like it's easy, given...granted once you "find" it in pure(?) form. Ppl misunderstand it's something to be created, like art.

[@dusklvr]

Through many years of therapy and meditation I have learned that love is a choice and a feeling and a verb. Love is care in action. I live my life very intentionally. I have checked my ego, my entitlements, the way I have used others, and I reflected on how I've been used. I've been dating a fella for a little over a year now. We've never fought. I treat him with a lot of respect and he is reciprocal. I have learned to identify disrespect more easily now and I do as much as I can to protect my peace. I will walk away from those who disrespect me.

[@mizuslayer]

esther is so so beautifully poetic and allegorical in how she explains her advice; i absolutely love learning from her

[@8888barb]

I did a gratitude study of my clients once. The ones that are liked most universally are the ones who always made time to be grateful and acknowledge the person helping them. They didn't find fault all the time. It is a huge boost to someone who is doing an arduous job to just get a little acknowledgement. It goes a long way.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

Are you a therapist?

[@Theuntalentedmrpitman]

Phones are not just relationship killers. But they are also destroy relationships with peoples children

[@claudiaclutch1958]

Her Ted Talk on infidelity, Cheating is so insightful.

[@debbiesday8270]

I fully agree with the half thereness. I only have one person in my life who even takes the time to listen to me. My ex husband didn't listen to me, my son doesn't listen to me, my mom doesn't listen to me. Apparently I just don't matter to most people at all. I feel so starved for deep connection and I'm an agreeable person, but it just feels like everyone is somewhere else and has no interest in me at all. My Ex husband not only didn't listen, he went out of his way to block communication, he gave me the silent treatment, he gaslit me, he would fall asleep during a disagreement when I was trying to express my feelings and hoping for some cooperation from him. I made so many bids for connection and got ignored over and over. It hurts to be ignored over and over, by people I love so much and I feel like none of them know me at all and worse, do not care to. I'm so tired of having to compete with a smart phone for attention from people who are supposed to care about me.

[@MatthewOlson]

I know I'm a stranger on the Internet, but your comment hit me particularly hard, and I feel for you. I hope that better days come your way soon.

[@knightheaven8992]

Im sorry to hear this, truly, i really do wish things get better for you, best regards

[@echase416]

Sounds like emotional abandonment.

[@debbiesday8270]

Thank you. all for your kind comments. I wish you all the best as well. ❤️

[@debbiesday8270]

@@MatthewOlson Thank you.

[@yassfitlife]

Sometimes i lost the conversation because she is so beautiful! One time she said I feel more beautiful now rather than my younger age she was right .

[@DotyP-j3q]

I've always been a big fan of Esther ever since I saw her on a TedTalk. She vocalized and put a name of everything that I've analyzed and realized about my relationships with people. I am a very thoughtful person and I've always found myself bidding for some indication of a shared connection be at a friend or family or a significant other. But to this day I still cannot find anybody who's aware enough about this connection loop. At times it gets quite frustration because the established intimacy I have with past relationships, it's just difficult to show them or make them understand that it's just not me that's changing...because I change as a reaction to another person. They are changing me without them knowing..and vice versa. People just don't find it important to connect anymore in a more fundamental level.

[@jstanders6973]

This is very profound and I feel the same. Great comment..

[@Venus-gn5oi]

From all the relationships I know the only one who just happened it’s been going strong for the 24 years is my sisters. Everyone else I know worked very hard to make it happen and they’re either divorced or still struggling and working very hard on a daily basis. There’s no recipe for a functioning relationship. You’re either lucky to meet the right person or you’re not. It’s as simple as that. It needs to be mutual attraction, respect and commitment which most of the time is not and is one sided. That’s why people end up frustrated in hard working relationships.

[@oeckstei]

I think a scary idea or reality for many is do we have time for love anymore? To slow down for ourselves and with our partners? Especially in our fast paced economy.

[@kalilavalezina]

This is helping me understand the beginning of the end in my past relationships. Thank you, Esther.

[@katepollock5408]

Thank you so much, Steven. Your vulnerability and interviewing skills are second to none. Please don’t loose your practice of connecting, authenticity and vulnerability.

[@misstd158]

I was with a truck 🚛 driver married 16 y I finally filed for divorce I could not take the distance and when he was home we were still distant no need in me being with someone like that I felt more alone in a relationship then when I was by myself so he had to go

[@beefyogurt]

I'm tearing up watching this because I feel that my partner is withdrawing and it's eating me up inside because I don't know how to tell her without the risk of demoralizing them further about their life circumstances. The comment about being drained after work and not having any energy to be an active participant is heartbreaking because on the one hand you sympethize with them, give them the benefit of the doubt that watching a program on the television is an acceptable "activity" to do together, and hope it'll be better on the weekends where we can do a creative project or go out into the world to explore. Laying in bed with the hopes of cuddling and being intimate but they choose to be on their phone instead, from habit, doom-scrolling long enough to fall asleep with their phone in their hand and/or the television illuminating the room. How do I set a "good" example, one that promotes good sleep hygeine? It's difficult to find the right time of day to bring up this that would make her upset, realizing their normal behavior is making me feel unwanted and lonely. I usually resort to typing a text or writing a letter because the emotions brought about while in the moment speaking makes it difficult to articulate all that needs to be said while also activiely paying attention to their body language and softening the blows that are anticipated.

[@ShadaeMastersAstrology]

Express your feelings in whatever form you best are able to do so, clearly as possible. Fight for your relationship in this new tech run system, we all must in order to reformulate our new balance. Survival of the fittest are taking on a new challenge. Balancing artificial intelligence and the natural environment. C-19 switched everything right up underneath our noses.

[@seraphir4662]

the thing that has always kept my relationships going strong ties into this very well... always always always reach out, every day, even in the tiniest ways, you must make gestures for giving and receiving attention from people around you, and do them with a deeply considerate empathy

[@TheCherrytree123]

I think the most important things is emotional security. When I become more emotional secure. I care less about the small things and relationships will be rational and healthy..there is no one take care you all the time. You can care about yourself.

[@carpediem4226]

Everything she says makes sense. It’s about self-awareness, other-awareness and emotional intelligence.

[@audreyflett8719]

Esther Perel is my hero!

[@victorabundis8923]

The sad part is as a high school teacher I see so many students living in the “ambiguous loss” phase. They’re lost & adults let this behavior slide because they too are on their phones! I left my phone at home when visiting family for Christmas & they thought I was weird.

[@beefyogurt]

I feel that it is common sense, looking around at so many void of verbal conversation, that the intellegint ones should realize that these electronic devices have been strategically programmed to addict us and if we don't wake up to this realization, we're doomed.

[@sidneyboo9704]

This woman speaks only the truth. Little things build into mountains.

[@EmilTheoneandonly]

She is brilliant

[@Ana-s3i6k]

Take a walk together, yeees!! So nice and so easy to do!!just a walk people!

[@crystalcutch5569]

"But that's just boring!" (Not to me)

[@Dezzz241]

Omg she is amazing. She is absolutely Right about all the things. Relationship/ Marriage means put in the Work

[@earthmamma85]

She just described my marriage. 😢

[@TheOne-jg7fd]

😅 getting there if not there already

[@Lealinchen97]

The "She's absolutely right" "Fuuck" got me :D

[@totmirmis]

That guy is a fucking moron if he can't figure such a simple thing out! He even thought the girlfriend was weird. Seriously, that is complete lack of logical thinking, reason and emphathy. I really hope that girfriend dumped him and found an adult

[@ColetteBasley]

Whether viewers here are in a relationship or not, go watch the full podcast. Esther is superb and knowledgeable. So true what she says about being present and to put the phone down. No doubt Steve will have had a lot of takeaways from this podcast. Superb, nice one Steve and Esther 👏

[@jstanders6973]

Yes I agree, I think Steven will have some takeaways from this like we all did. It's so important to get this message out about these small things. I will watch the full episode for sure..

[@dreas9236]

Thank you for the incredibly great insights that I can hear here. It becomes a lot clearer why relationships fail because of these little things that people don't recognize in everyday life and wonder why nothing works. These things have always been important to me in relationships, but I would be accused of "hypersensitivity" because committment is important to me.

[@texfromro]

Everything boils down to respect

[@TheRexTera]

There is just so much in the modern society that demand attention that relationships just get the lowest priority.

[@akwasiboy1]

This is deep….‘Is there a difference between me and a sofa’..

[@MariaLopez-hc2nm]

😅😅😅😅

[@pippastar1606]

Absolutely love Esther Perel. Genius lady.

[@chayoluna1351]

Esther is brilliant! So happy to see her on your show ❤

[@zedmanZ9]

Outstanding interview showing that internet is not just full of crap. Esther is so on the money but I do have to give thanks to the hosts for giving her the space to voice this.

[@stellarhope6954]

so sad. my husband did that to me for decades. broke my heart

[@blackeneddove]

Are you still with him? I am going through this with mine as well and have been for over 10 years. I can’t do it anymore.

[@stellarhope6954]

@@blackeneddove he finally admitted he was on porn and told me he was going to divorce me. i was devastated and had a nervous breakdown. but Jesus healed me. the tragic truth is that before my husband could divorce me he died. i feel much better now

[@blackeneddove]

@@stellarhope6954 I am sorry you had to go through that. But grateful to God you are better now. I hope to be doing better too one day.

[@A22208]

There is something about comfortable silence as well and just having a body in the house. But I do agree that you have to put in energy and effort and not put work or tech first all the times. Hugs are important or walks even in silence works

[@claudiaclutch1958]

I have been waiting for Steven to bring her on.....she is amazing!!!!!!!

[@mirandap3522]

Is there a difference between me and the couch...comfy..." WOW. Yep. I've left a relationship in which i've that felt that lonely together. This is HUGE! Thank you Esther. Thank you Steven. Both amazing as always!!

[@lsf71]

Esther is the BEST of the best!

[@katechenney]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved him so much i can’t stop thinking about him and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss him and i wish i could get him back.

[@jack-gx]

I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.

[@Jose-lz6cw]

Really? How do i find one please?

[@jack-gx]

Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@katechenney]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@sethtenrec]

@@katechenneyappreciate the scam

[@Lil_Hondo]

I think dinner without phones or tv is a good idea as well, especially if you live in an area that isn’t safe

[@jungersrules]

In the past, marriage was a necessity, especially for women. It was a given that if you find a suitable husband you get married and start having kids pretty quickly. I mean, look at Jane Austen's era. Just one meeting and if chemistry is there (or not, like Charlotte in P&P) you get engaged/married very fast. This notion of marrying for love (or lust) is a modern day phenomenon. Sure people fell in love in the past, but the option of choosing marriage exclusively for love is new.

[@alaalfa8839]

Andrea Laing videos saying: childhood trauma, unresolved emotions of childhood subconscious mind Addiction to food addiction to sex addiction to alcohol Addiction to gossiping about people with coworkers in a bar, who have similar addictions addiction to codependency (despite certain financial freedom but no personal satisfaction with the job purpose) changing it to: meditation, practicing, love, empathy gratitude more than 50 or 70 percent a day creating a great change finding new purpose in a job by helping people gossiping addiction about people with coworkers in a bar changing to helping people to grow as a personal coach

[@wilyinfidel1091]

I understand bid for connection And acknowledgment of small attempts to share thoughts But I find it can get overwhelming with someone who expects you to validate their every mood at any time regardless of what you might or might not be doing? Sets up potential for conflict around allowing the other party to authentically prioritise their responses to a given invitation to engage.

[@d1na207]

“Love knows that nothing is ever needed but more love. It is what we all do with our hearts that affects others most deeply. It is not the movements of our body or the words within our minds that transmit love. We love from heart to heart.”

[@ahmedjarttu5013]

Esther is the best relationship expert, she's address generally based by cultural, traditional, ethnicity.She Is generalising man or woman like other people do.

[@rositahuff4858]

…this should be showing in schools!!! It is so right…100%!

[@jstanders6973]

I absolutely agree, we are all becoming so lost.. This needs to be shared 💯👍

[@vira1340]

Love Esther Perel. She is fantastic.

[@brianrichards3119]

Most people/clients I've come across prioritize work and financial security way, way above personal relationships. Being a nice person or a great spouse doesn't deposit money in the bank to pay the mortgage. Work and ambition does. Funny thing is, most people imagine they need far more than they actually do. And this clip is right, there is all too often an assumption that the relationship will just happen, with hardly any attention. I'm alway amazed when someone tells me they work sixty hours a week and yet they are surprised to discover their partner was cheating. I'd be more surprised if they weren't cheating!

[@anyanikolaeva9619]

What a wonderful lady! 🙏🏻💙 This interview absolutely made my day, thank you!

[@Serenity_escapes]

It's the little things that make us fall in love to begin with.

[@egysrac17]

That realisation at 9:40! I loved it. I'm going to share this with my partner. I hope the message comes across. Thank you for this video.

[@010101Be]

Love that “F*ck” sigh after she says “She’s Right .

[@pedromanafaia]

Incredible advice so helpful in these days. Great channel always bringing the best people in and great lady Esther Perel. Thank you

[@lsporter88]

She makes a lot of sense. Great video.

[@christoph1246]

Having kids has put a huge strain on my marriage. It’s become more like a competition; who has had the least sleep? The least food? Who is under most stress/pressure at work? Who has had the least free time? etc etc.

[@TreeofLife_111]

Do you think it's because you both work? So much of the modern design has pitted women against men and instead of having peace in the home, it's much harder. I think this was by design really. I hope you two are able to find ways to slow down and not make it a competition. Wishing you the best

[@booksquid856]

​@@TreeofLife_111 Both people work no matter what though, whether it is at home or abroad.. This has happened in my own marriage as well, and even though I chose the "traditional" stay-at-home path.

[@Hildred6]

@@TreeofLife_111very true

[@island661]

Kids are overrated 🤣

[@hollowedboi5937]

The instagram one though I think is just a conversation to be had saying "I prefer to speak with you over call or in person, I think a meme here and there is fun but truthfully when we're out and about doing our own thing I don't feel like seeing every post. If it were times seeing you every time you post I would be elated, a dozen memes I lose the picture. I will try and be more attentive but I just wanted to let you know this." and keep that communication for as difficult as it is I know. I got friends that do just that and I had to find that level of comfort in myself to say, "yes I don't want to be left out of conversations and groups, but I just don't like constantly being on my phone watching endless memes talking about the most random things. Fun when in person but not on my phone all day, I get restless not being able to focus on what I wanna do in the day." So I'll mention to them that I often do my own work during the day and I'll get to memes if can be, but I really prefer to do these things in person. I understand I won't get as much interaction as others and some, many leave because they are glued to their phones, but I just don't want to do those things all day. Same thing with drinking and partying, I know they do drugs I don't prefer that, its like just communicating what works for both of you or if either of you wanna compromise somewhere or not.

[@djmj1000]

Taking a walk with your partner is great way to be outside, calm and communicate without phone distractions and i like doing it regularly. If someone is on the phone on a date, unless its for a reason they tell and excuse themselves politely i am not interested anymore. Same with friends when having dinner.

[@tszhoso3289]

In this KZbin transcript, Esther Perel, a relationship expert, discusses the challenges in modern relationships and the reasons behind their high failure rate. She points out that people often neglect their relationships, treating them as an afterthought compared to other aspects of their lives, such as work and technology. Perel emphasizes the detrimental impact of constant phone use and the lack of presence in relationships, leading to what she terms "ambiguous loss," where someone is physically present but emotionally absent. She encourages small, creative interventions, such as taking walks and offering bids for connection, to improve relationships. Perel stresses the importance of acknowledging and appreciating each other in maintaining a vibrant connection. She addresses the tendency to take partners for granted and underscores the significance of continuous effort and attention to prevent relationships from deteriorating.

[@dorothyb.]

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction!

[@ShellyBroomes]

This issue of even looking at a video sent to your partner is something very significant...how can we know the same things to improve us if we both dont look at the info? Brilliant Esther...good to know that little things mean something

[@lindatannock]

The act of just saying thank you, I watched the video you sent, goes a long way! Otherwise the sender is left wondering if the other person even bothered to look at it!

[@duaneh1973]

He knew he messed up by saying f@ck! 😂It will be alright just tighten up sir.

[@missycee7819]

I had to go back and listen to it again. Came back to see if I was the only one to catch it . Lol I love the authenticity.

[@barbaradelilah1098]

Nice taster/clip want to watch the full reel …. Thankyou

[@Georgemoore-hl2ff]

Hi Barbara🌹🌹 How are you doing?

[@icucode]

Very simplistic explanation and nothing I have seen in my own relationships. Mental health issues is on the rise and doesn’t help building a stable relationship.

[@michelinekollmann868]

You will understand everything once she leaves you

[@JudyReilly-n3e]

She is brilliant.

[@trishbech9082]

Excellent advice Thank You for interviewing Esther ❤😊

[@KerryBlue72]

This was an incredible knowledge drop from Esther🙌🏼🙏🏼❤️

[@camchandler9238]

9:25 "It's even worse. The SEEN notification". Esther missed your double whammy point of thisss!

[@kevinwilliams287]

She is so right, as she explained things it was like she was describing me and my wife. wish id seen her earlier,

[@JohnSmith-nc6ul]

She’s bang on!

[@gregjon2260]

She is so right!

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

I like her . Good messages.

[@Mike_kopiyo]

"If you want to change the other, change you.." Ester Perel

[@BostonyCling]

Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can't stop thinking about him, l've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I'm frustrated, I don't see my life as anyone else. I've done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can't, I don't know why I'm saying this here, I really miss him and just can't stop thinking about him.

[@barbaraandrews5]

I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about two years ago, but I could not let him go, so I had to do all I could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back, now we are back together, and I must say I am enjoying every moment...

[@BostonyCling]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?

[@barbaraandrews5]

His name is fatherabulu, and him is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...

[@BostonyCling]

Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked him up online. impressive.

[@MariaLopez-hc2nm]

My home life , the love of my life has always been a priority. Jobs you can find another one.

[@StephenGrew]

Yes with everything you do, it is far, far better to be present and if you can't you change course. You say, sorry I need to attend to this or that or you make a stand with your asleepness and put your phone whatever you one side and be with that person completely or be with whatever you are doing, making fully!

[@DaveE99]

This makes sense, I always did feel the healthy conflict and emotion sharing that turns into coaching for each was the actual relationship. Everything else matters very little. So it was a question of how to Engadge in that and learn together to it

[@TheGinglymus]

I think this is such an easy way of thinking you understand what the problem is. There is some fantasy about the past that people used to have "proper" relationships because they didn't have phones. Before phones people just did other things. People don't want to constantly be interacting with people. Yes, we could maybe spend a bit more time in the moment with people. I think lots of people need to realise they actually want less interaction not more.

[@franc9552]

What a pleasure to ear you Esther. Even better if i can see you 🥰

[@truthwithes6690]

This was my marriage. The loniest I ever felt was when I was married.

[@Avocadoandsriracha]

Thank you, Esther!

[@peterlpool1387]

Common sense but most people fail in common sense. Put the phone down.

[@lizclegg7556]

I'm not sure Stephen wanted to hear what Esther was saying to him.

[@makeupwithmarianne1686]

she's amazing 🔥

[@clarisec1451]

Thank you I truly resonated with what was said.