Love Is Blind S3 #28 - (Confronting Bartise) - Therapist Reacts

[@lucylohan8894]

I'm a radically, honest person and I'm here to tell you that a lot of radically honest people just use it as a means to an end to hurt your feelings and to get away with it. There's a certain point where your radical honesty has to meet the respect of the other individual. it's past the point of radical honesty and you are just hurting somebody.

[@moralslinky]

Yes you can be honest while still being considerate and kind.

[@lucylohan8894]

@@moralslinky 💯!!!!!

[@johnnywalker9856]

Yep radical honesty aka ass

[@levantineking98]

Yes to this! Also sometimes not everything that comes into our heads needs to be said either

[@dazedconfuseds]

@@levantineking98 very true, hope. Bartis has learnt this

[@applepie3276]

The fact that he really thinks he’s a head turner😂😂😂

[@sarahsmith3682]

YUP good god lol

[@CaptTrylaScott]

The Bert and Ernie hair really sells it 😄

[@eh1126]

Exactly! He’s one of those ugly guys who went to the gym, got some muscles and then all of a sudden they think they’re hot. Newsflash, the gym does not work out your face 😂

[@chrissy4803]

He puts himself automatically in the league of Raven without any evidence 😂😂 my eyes rolled out of my head when he assumed people see him that way. Gag me with a spoon.

[@Kathyyyyy123]

@@eh1126 😂😂

[@nfenestrate]

I think it’s less about the show demanding it from him, and more about his need for control. He was so ambivalent about Nancy until she started saying “alright, I’m gonna dip outta this”. All of the sudden he turns it back on and charms her and she is like “oh, things are good now”. He just didn’t want to get rejected by Nancy, he wanted to be the rejector.

[@jsm9792]

💯

[@petrachase2165]

I dont understand why Nancy went after Cole but thanked Bartise for his honesty. 😂

[@zari2662]

Right!? Where was that same energy with Bartise?

[@alexisthomas9479]

It might have to do with Bartise telling Nancy how he felt that night but then being told Cole didn't apologize to zay for over a week after the pool scene.

[@Porcelynnn]

Stockholm Syndrome 😂😂😂

[@gusbulni]

I think she didn't dare to say much to him because he wouldnt accept her to attack her, but Cole was an easy target. So she could take it out on him. Which is a cowards behavour. They bullied him

[@Halbmond]

@@alexisthomas9479 Cole talked with Zay about it the same night and confirmed that he did find Zay attractive. I don’t know if he actually said I’m sorry, but he sure as hell didn’t proudly say “and then here we are!”

[@dariasmeh]

The problem with BRUTAL HONESTY is not the “honesty” part, it’s the “brutal” part. He seems to have just added the word “honesty” in there so he could get by being “brutal”

[@rethinkcps2116]

@@dariasmeh - 🎯

[@mandi4794]

i busted up laughing at that "and now here we are!" line too. like dude what are you saying 😂

[@frankieloves7078]

Is everyone just waiting for the cuties scene? 🤣 Also Nancy now being blonde 😅

[@Eddybaby01]

Yes! He’s blue balling us with these other reactions lol

[@eh1126]

I hate the fact that she changed her hair like that. It doesn’t suit her and it seems like she only did it because she knows Bartise likes blondes. It’s so sad, Nancy deserves better!

[@fittomakeup9890]

@@eh1126 my exact sentiments!!!

[@lynnd5342]

There’s a 29th video in the playlist that’s hidden. Maybe it’s him reacting to it. Please open it up to the public Dr Honda 🙏 I really wanna know your thoughts 😩

[@eh1126]

@@lynnd5342 it’s probably hidden until he’s ready to post it

[@Halbmond]

I’m surprised how well you’ve received his apology. 1) He apologized to three people. The first and only one he mentioned by name was himself. 2) He used passive language: “I shouldn’t have let it get that far”, as though he was just a bystander. 3) He didn’t elaborate at all. 4) The second person he addressed directly was SK when he turned to him and called him “bro”. When did he mention Nancy or Raven by name? 5) I just have to iterate that the first person he apologized to was himself. This is Bartise in a nutshell.

[@connermcintosh4322]

Thisssssssssss

[@AudreyMealiff]

Great comment, very well stated. You hit the nail on the head.

[@OohlalaHolly]

It was an appropriate apology. You can send him an email for the apology you think you need lol

[@centroid]

I didn't get that he apologized to himself? I interpreted the three people as SK, Raven and Nancy. He does say he disrespected himself after he mentions the three people, but that's more likely to be an additional thing than him being one of the three people.

[@Eddybaby01]

3:42 I’m glad I’m not the only one who laughed at this 😂 Bartise was ready to skip off into the sunset after that speech 😮‍💨😂😂😂

[@sarahsterling7068]

I am going to be devastated if the “cuties scene” at the end doesn’t get a reaction video from Dr Kirk Honda

[@katerose9676]

Bartise seemed too immature emotionally to get married. He focused so much attention on looks/attractiveness, and social status (again, based on looks). Feels like he hasnt yet understood / developed the maturity level required for a long term relationship. --When Matt had the meltdown, Bartise made it about himself "I wish I had what you had". --When Bartise and Nancy had the difference about abortion, Bartise made it about "how could I be with someone like that" and involved his family, without thinking how that would land for Nancy. Yikes. --when he was losing attraction for Nancy, he didn't tell her (which is what someone with radical honesty would do) instead when Nancy tried to hug him he made a passive comment about her being needy dr Honda, I don't see him as differentiated at all. His empathy is only displayed when his view of the world isn't being challenged i.e. fragile ego.

[@Ninjaagentxx]

There’s brutal honesty, and then there’s respectful honesty; the difference is tact and empathy.

[@Billiedakid]

The true is this: they all talk a lot inside the pots, most of the times, you can know someone is hot by how they talk or what they do, fitness model, ballerina, Pilates instructor (there was a huge change that Raven was going to have a good body. He didn’t wanted to give up to that, he even mentioned once “I know she has to be hot” . And with Nancy, she is talks as a person that is financially stable, he didn’t wanted to give up to that neither. You could even see his face when she talked about her properties. He is a shallow dude, (not even attractive) who needs more time to experience life. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just as brutally honest as he is 😂

[@LaLaBlahBlahh]

I have to disagree with your first point that you can tell attraction from what a person does. I’m a yoga teacher (on the side) and I’ve done 2x200 hour trainings and the groups are very diverse. Many yoga teachers I met through doing those (out of ~50+ teachers) do not fit the stereotypical slim and feminine look of what a yoga teacher might be. Also, I have a friend who is a Pilates teacher and she is also a football and rugby player who also doesn’t match the Stereotype.

[@jeremysmith9694]

I knew he wasn't that cool the moment they showed his friends.

[@lavinder11]

I was cringing so badly when she said "we make $200,000 a year"

[@Billiedakid]

@@LaLaBlahBlahh i didn’t say you can tell attraction, or that any Pilates Instructor are attractive, all I said is that I can give you enough information that can make you assume that I am attractive and Raven did that, all the guys assumed that raven and Colleen where attractive , because of the way they talked. (Meaning the info they gave)

[@Billiedakid]

@@lavinder11 I know right!? For me that’s like putting yourself on a silver plate for a person to take advantage of you.

[@mmtstan9360]

Surprised you didn't say more about Bartise's "I disrespected myself too" line in his apology. I found it telling that he immediately made the apology about himself and then quickly pivoted to how having those feelings were valid. They were valid, but I wish he had spent more time apologizing to Nancy and Raven, especially Nancy.

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

I also thought it was super interesting that he led with that. Seriously, his image is everything to him, even when apologizing . 🙄

[@AudreyMealiff]

He is so mad about himself, it's all about him. Vomit!

[@xxBreakxxAwayxx3]

yeah self validation is important but it doesnt belong in an apology unless you want to erase everything you just said to the other person....

[@Ghastlyteaparty]

Bartise reminds me a lot of my dad in some ways. When it comes to outside of personal relationships, he is the nicest guy you'll ever meet. The social one at the bar, lots of friends, he'll give strangers the shirt off his back and always stops to chat to unhomed people and give them money. But to his partners and children, he is a terrible selfish man, almost like he wanted so badly to be a genuinely nice person but his insecurities made him defensive. He could never own up to brini at fault. I remember phone calls with him as a kid and even now, he never really asks how I'm doing and just goes on about himself. If I say something he did hurt me or was wrong he explains it away and goes into how he was hurt and how he justifies his behaviour, never once aknowledging my feelings. Being around my dad is accepting a supporting role alongside the lead actor and being at peace with that.

[@salamander8301]

My father is exactly the same, his narcissism has wrecked our relationship

[@DrLC.]

If anyone compliments me, “I look hot? Just hot? Nah, I’m the whole smoke house” 😂😂 My new line.

[@mskada32]

smoke program

[@DrLC.]

@@mskada32 Or that! 😂 How her memory tried to recall smoke show is quite funny! ‘…Something to do with a building or a tv show…’

[@pinsandneedles3]

I love it when brains do this lol

[@CultmemberNr.28369_s]

I would do that to, but nobody ever tells me I'm hot. Haha

[@mskada32]

@@CultmemberNr.28369_s well let me be the first. You are hot like fire 🔥 🔥 🔥

[@antoniaalcala9064]

3:29 6:03 & 9:19 so satisfying. Radical honesty in relationships requires care for your partner. Nice to hear it said loud and clear

[@fittomakeup9890]

What stuns me the most is in the moment when bartise is expressing his feelings about seeing raven. It seemed that he isn't realising the fact the he is no longer in the pod period- dating and choosing who he wants. At the point of him being brutally honest- partners have been chosen. He acts as if he still has an opportunity to be with raven. He seriously was showing Nancy that he regrets his decision about choosing her.

[@andaredvex]

A well known Hungarian psychologist, Dr Kitti Almási put it this way ( - I'm paraphrasing / translating it as best as I can): "It's worth learning a useful golden rule that no-one really seems to remember nowadays: you don't have to say everything out loud. There are things best kept to yourself, or at least everyone should take into careful consideration how much and how they share. Not to worry, this act in itself won't make you dishonest - but tactful. In my experience, the two often gets confused or mixed with one another, although there's a clear distinction between them. Tact means that while delivering the message, we concentrate not only on the truth but also consider our partner's feelings and dignity as a human being. We don't lie to them or mislead them, we just put the emphasis and choose our words with the right emotional sensitivity, and, in some cases (referencing Sándor Márai, writer), we choose 'the gentleness of silence'. We can still be honest, as honesty doesn't equal truth being spit on the face of somebody else. In fact, honesty without sensitivity, empathy and tact is just sheer rudeness."

[@Bec_loves_Jesus]

Very well said

[@HiliBStern]

Wow!! Hol mondta ezt? Nagyon pontos leírás

[@andaredvex]

@@HiliBStern A "Ki vagy Te?" c. könyvéből származik :) ha rákeresel a Google-ben a doktornő neve mellett az "őszinteség, tapintat" kulcsszavakra, meg fogod találni a teljes idézetet. :)

[@Gunna5067]

Well said!

[@Eterna_Living]

Finally. The sheer amount of people who lack this understanding is astounding to me. And then the justification for doing the opposite after hearing this is just pathetic to me.

[@MB3lls]

I think he knew from the get go that he would say “No.” He saw an opportunity to stay on the show for more exposure not realizing he would look like the biggest lame ever for this season

[@sheila3936]

And they have to repay the show for their costs if they leave before the wedding. Sure is good incentive to drag things out unnecessarily.

[@cookiecookielookies]

YES! That's why he pretended to be nice towards the end. He knew he was being watched. It's so messed up bc Nancy wanted to break things off the night she met the cast members including Andrew & others. Bartise told her to give him a second chance and then she did. Moments leading up to saying i do, he called her his future wife and said they got this. Ppl keep insulting Nancy saying she's naive but look at his actions. He also got those forever bracelets too. He's so fake, superficial, and inconsiderate of others.

[@cookiecookielookies]

@@sheila3936 Wait where did u hear this? So Shaina and Kyle had to pay?

[@ashleybrandi]

I find it interesting that SK had something to add to that conversation when he was caught cheating while in a relationship with Raven.

[@Sydonnewarren]

He fooled us all lol

[@lav7161]

The rumor is that nobody got caught and that him and Raven were in it together for popularity and Raven benefitted from her company

[@Sweetieee]

@@lav7161 I wouldn’t be surprised with her narcissistic ass lol

[@STasugx]

She’s a self-aware mature gal whose blind spot happened to be Bartiste. And what was she thinking wanting to marry him when they disagreed on major issues such as abortion? She needs to reevaluate some of her own life decisions.

[@Porcelynnn]

smart people can make dumb decisions in love

[@AiSayuriChan]

I'm always so glad when I hear you talk about healthier ways to deal with difficult relationship issues/dynamics and realize I usually do these things. Not perfectly and not always but in general I do. I think that's awesome because my parents had a very toxic relationship and I've always been afraid of repeating their mistakes. I can actually be proud of myself

[@vulpitzza01]

In an interview with Bartise he said smth like "well, I was the villain but I appologised and then I was off the hook". Something about those lines. Maybe I was reading it wrongly but In Romanian we have a saying: No sword cuts off a bowed head. Made me thought of that especially that he didnt elaborate too too much his appology....

[@oksanaml9279]

I found his demeanor for the apology to be very cold.

[@Sough]

Cole like damn i wish i could've let down Nancy instead of Zey the destroyer

[@xxBreakxxAwayxx3]

I love that expression! how insightful. ty for sharing!!!

[@bigal1870]

Bartise on behalf of the academy I hereby present you with the heartiest Dr. Kirk laugh award 🏆

[@nitabonita09]

“And here we are now” bahaha 😂

[@acirehtien]

Egocentric or careless may be the word missing to describe Bartisse

[@unicornL]

I lost it when Dr Honda started laughing. Like thats bad!

[@jeremysmith9694]

Yeah that was the biggest reaction I've seen from him.

[@Sough]

Nancy able to rake cole over the coals but protects Bartisse. Strange

[@yelli801]

happy birthday Dr Honda!

[@legzfalloffgirl5148]

That man bun tho dude 🤣🤣

[@Sunset553]

That will his next flaw to realize in retrospect

[@Ola_Stawinska]

I couldn't focus because of that...

[@jinx724]

What Bartise taught me or rather solidified for me is that men will tend to throwaway a good woman who is good to them for someone who they see as "hot" and then they regret it. Nancy will make an amazing wife to someone and I'm not saying he should have shut up and just said yes because Nancy deserves more but the fact that what turned him off was Raven exercising while listening to him pour his heart out but when he saw her he went right back to hmmm maybe this could work. Heterosexual men have to do better when it comes to partnering with women

[@jeremysmith9694]

Or women should just be hotter. Love is not blind. Don't ever expect a man to love you independent of your looks. It's not real.

[@jinx724]

@Jeremy Smith and that's why men are dying alone in nursing homes while women have friends and family looking out for them until death 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@MayFlora]

Are you 12? What a childish conclusion to come to

[@jeremysmith9694]

@@jinx724 If men didn't have serious attraction to women they would never get married and have kids.

[@TheLightning995]

I honestly think that Nancy is one of the cutest girls in the season 3. She is so mature and reasonable, nice smile and positive energy…. He is an idiot!

[@tubbywumbkinsl3846]

I learned so much from this video. Thanks Doc! Empathy in Communication can be so important.

[@gdjwarren2]

The number of times he's gonna say "final two" 🤣

[@Simplyunashamed]

Can you please address how Nancy totally MISPLACED her disdain and request for accountability?! She came for Cole out of the blue when she should have come for Bartise all along, and she should have up for herself first before standing up for Zay. What was she thinking?!

[@Updog89]

Apparently they did also come for Bartise during the reunion but it all got cut out for time. Who knows, though?

[@dazedconfuseds]

The reunion was filmed over 4 hours, Alexa and Nancy said this in an interview . You should be addressing why they didn't show Matt all is aggressive scenes. Remember, they only show you what they want. This helps paint Cole as the good guy and Zay the villain. It's all a game for Netflix. If they cared for people's well being they would of intervened with Matt & Colleen and Cole & Zanab

[@Ola_Stawinska]

@@Updog89 that would be horrible if they would cut something important like Nancy standing up for herself but had time to include joke about Andrew that wasn't even there :[

[@Trewq79]

3:50 . If Dr Honda is absolutely laughing at a relationship choice you made, you know you messed up.

[@fay407]

Literally, i check your channel at least twice every single day to see if you upload the next video. I admire your videos and your work. Keep going. (I am from Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦 by the way).

[@Runa_idk]

Some people here didn't like how dr Honda reacted to the apology and that's mind boggling to me. I mean, as a therapist, isn't he supposed to be empathetic towards everyone there, even towards the guy who is apologizing? And this youtube channel is public, dr Honda has a platform, so wouldn't it be inappropriate for him to bash real life people here? I seriously don't get some of you commenting here and wanting him to be harsher on people you don't like bc it's not what his reactions are about, they are never like that lol We all as an audience can have a harsher inner reaction, but to comment about it to everyone online is a totally different thing. We shouldn't expect him to say something careless on his videos, but so many comments here are complaining about how he should've taken the apology and the fact that these comments are getting lots of likes makes no sense to me

[@kyo4338]

I like Nancy but she looks like when I went to prom 😭

[@szaszdor]

The accuracy 👆🏻😅

[@daisyo.6666]

She could definitely be the mother of a bride somewhere

[@Watchingvids01]

Yeah the hair wasn’t giving

[@Ola_Stawinska]

@@Anastasia11101 at least Ravens hair don't look like they got destroyed by wind...

[@NawiTheCore]

After what we learned from SK post show, it's really disgusting to watch him preach maturity and honesty to Bartise. Take several seats, sir!

[@dazedconfuseds]

Well now you know why Dr Honda was so shocked they said they were together in the reunion. He was implying it was fake relationship

[@talkofthestage6053]

Still patiently waiting for his reaction to cutiegate. Hope he doesn’t spread it out for another week - imagine there isn’t much to react to for Alexa and Brennan.

[@eleanor1105]

I truly don't understand what's head turner about him or Raven or Colleen for that matter. Is this a cultural difference in beauty standards or preference?

[@Watchingvids01]

Both culture and preference. Halo effect/pretty privilege as well for example Raven is slim and lighter skin historically that for a black woman is highly desirable. Many people will try argue things have changed but these biases still exist and actually quite ingrained to society even just her having a 3 type hair.

[@Sunset553]

Some of it is presentation. Some people act like, “hey, look at me, I’m the good looking stylish one”. If everyone just simply wore a plain brown tshirt and sweatpants, hair natural, no styling, they would not necessarily be any different. It’s like they try the hardest to be stylish and presume they won the beauty contest.

[@Sough]

Ravens pretty gorgeous

[@melanieedgar7220]

C'mon now Raven is absolutely, to put it in Bartise's words, a smokeshow

[@karimmadueno3257]

@@Watchingvids01 nah Raven is just gorgeous period.

[@jeeither]

that scene at the beginning is when I decided I didn't like Nancy. Which I guess is unfair. But the fact that she stayed with him til the wedding really turned me off from her.

[@heavenleigh2463]

You don’t like someone who is so wounded that they suffer from this kind of worthlessness ? What a cruel comment.

[@jeeither]

@@heavenleigh2463 well, I did acknowledge that how I felt was unfair to Nancy. But I haven't taken it upon myself to fill in blanks and assume Nancy is wounded because of what I saw on this Netflix show. I also didn't assume she suffered from worthlessness either. I think that assumption is kind of cruel in and of itself. I can't help that her allowing Bartise to be disrespectful to her time and time again without any pushback made me dislike her. I think my reaction was valid though, maybe I have some subconscious things going on in my own head that made me feel that way? Neither one of us will ever know what was going on in her head at that moment. You assumed she's wounded and feels worthless, I myself got turned off from her. I think both reactions are valid.

[@xxBreakxxAwayxx3]

weird way to say "bartisse treats people so awful that it makes me fear for their self worth"

[@jeeither]

@@xxBreakxxAwayxx3 if a lame, awful guy you've known for 3 weeks is able to shake your self-worth, it's not about the guy. it's about you.

[@dariasmeh]

Look at all the men sitting on the couch at the 8 minute mark wearing their trendy short pants with shoes and no socks. 😂 love the triplets vibe

[@autumnlover5784]

Am I the only one that thought Bartise’s honesty came after the fact that he had ran off at the mouth in front of cameras so was trying to play it off like brutal honesty when its more like he knew the comments were going to come out so mitigating what he had done damage wise????

[@sagqueen1984]

That was hard to listen to him gawk over her as he was in bed with his fiancé. No person deserves that. I would have been done at that point because it's obvious you have a type. His approach was all wrong and the relay of the info to his fiancé was uncompassionate to her feelings. Nancy reminds me of Selma Hayek. She is such a beauty.

[@vanessabiggs4369]

Im halfway through- but why does it seem like B is getting more grace than Cole? Every time it came up it was bc Zaned asked Cole a specific question about it. I dont remember Cole just repeatedly throwing it out there like Dr H said he did, and that is what Bartise did repeatedly… he brought up the “looks matter.” Did anyone else not recognize Zay? I had to find all the other ladies and then realize which one she was- she completely transformed her look bc she was probably so insecure, she is beautiful…. But came on the show not feeling that and left the show that way- and its sad bc I think she probably still feels that way. Man, such a drastic appearance change!

[@Ola_Stawinska]

I agree with you about Cole here. I also was surprised when dr Honda would say that Cole would repeatedly talk about Colleen being more attractive, because i didn't remember him saying that out of nowhere, just to be mean 🙄

[@luca.desu.2590]

I saw a lot of people wondering why Bartise didn't receive the same level of vitriol from the cast as Cole, and I'm pretty sure it's because he was quick to apologize instead of getting defensive as we saw here, although he could have been more specific and remorseful in his apologies

[@SmashBrosBrawl]

i agree, i think in season 3 the producers really pushed the characters to be ambiguous about their intentions to build tension. I really saw characters that wern't interested in their pick like Cole, Bartise & Raven, suddenly 180 and "love" their finance and at the end everything falls apart just as predicted in the beginning

[@andaredvex]

Really liked you highlighting the fact that so many people tend to put the blame on these people for even having those feelings (like finding one girl more attractive than the other). That in itself is not something to be ashamed of.

[@Yararar]

Me too, you can’t help not being attracted to someone, it’s something mostly outside of our control. How they choose to handle those situations is where it starts to become a problem

[@tashaeddy3902]

I agree Bartise looks like a total dirtbag, but might not be that awful. Meanwhile SK presents really well....keep reading the news to see how that turns out...🤦‍♀️

[@kristinaboyce9297]

Both blah…SK really fooled everyone, though

[@xXheartszXx]

i was shook

[@amany8805]

The only reason Bartise didn't persue Raven is just because Raven has shut him down in the pool, he said in the interview after seeing Raven that he would like to pursue her, Nancy should be thanking Raven for how she reacted when Bartise talked to her in the pool, instead I got the vibe that Nancy is trying to make fun of Raven and thanking the person who was humiliating her the intire season!! He tried the whole season to make her dislike him in different ways and instead she offered him the hope of financial security and unconditional love which is scary actually.. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't value himself/herself.!!

[@pickledoe212]

*Patiently awaiting Dr. Honda to review the cuties scene*

[@brokencrayon83]

There is a difference between radical honesty and just being a jerk. Idk. I like that you go over the reasons that people do things

[@daria668]

oh pleaseeeee SK. *eye roll*

[@Watchingvids01]

Right!!

[@kindabluu]

Justice for Nancy lol

[@legzfalloffgirl5148]

Oooooooh gawd I can't believe we have to watch this scene again 😔😅

[@reflectsonlife]

Bartise telling Nancy - who is looking like Salma Hayek's younger cousin in that closeup - that another woman is preferable to her, is just such a complete mindfuck to the audience. And no, I would not notice Bartise in a bar, unless I were narcissist- hunting or kid-n-play flat-top hunting!

[@MiissJuliet]

There’s something about Bartise that gives me Andrew Tate vibes

[@blondinevloggt]

my theory is that bartise is just very unintelligent. he just talks, trying to sound like what he thinks adults sound like. i'm pretty convinced he's just 3 pre teens in a trenchcoat.

[@nnn9122]

When Bartise says, "I apologize for letting it get to that point", is he talking about what he said to Nancy? Or is part (or most) of the reason he was embarrassed and ashamed to watch that scene because he was completely wasted on camera?

[@rethinkcps2116]

Is the phrase "no filter" a code of sorts for radical honesty? Trying to sort this out... I hear the no filter phrase a lot, seemingly to excuse tactless or mean comments.

[@xxBreakxxAwayxx3]

"no filter" can be similar but it refers to a lack of awareness. It isnt exactly a choice, because the person isnt able to put up filters when they need one. instead, they treat everyone similarly (bartisse having guy talk with nancy about raven and not realizing it would be so hurtful to her and bad context). Radical honesty is a decision to be honest even when it's really hard. Though people use both phrases as an excuse sometimes.

[@connermcintosh4322]

I’ve loved the reaction to other seasons but this one felt like a giant miss. Between the constant theorizing about what the couples “should” have done behind the scenes, the giant misunderstandings (Nancy’s mom situation with this mishearing of “broken”), and in this case bartise apologizing to himself and anyone other than Nancy, this season was hard to watch the reaction to. Those are just a few examples. I think it would help greatly to not batch film everythjng before releasing any of it because you get no feedback that way. Opinions being shouted into a vacuum have no way to get feedback and there were multiple times this season I think feedback would’ve been helpful. Not just about the show, also about your betterhelp partnership when they have been proven over and over to act incredibly immorally in many ways. I say all this because I really enjoy this channel and want to see the best for you and it.

[@connermcintosh4322]

For clarification: what I mean by what the couples “should” have done behind the scenes was the theorizing that they ‘had to’ have talked before and discussed their answers or that ‘no one’ really wouldn’t wait decide at the alter or that ‘there’s no way’ they were still genuinely considering being together. All of that is a differently worded opinion on what they SHOULD have done or thought because it didn’t make sense to you any other way.

[@laurelmackereth1308]

I think the producers must have told them to say they didn’t make up their minds until they were at the altar. There’s no way that was true for all of them. I’ve heard that once the couples make it to a certain point they have to gave a wedding. I honestly have a hard time understanding why Nancy decided to go all in on B.

[@allied4927]

"Smokeshow" is a term that's been circulating around the Bachelor universe for a little while now. It's not always considered a polite term to call someone. Guys get chastised on the show by other men for calling the leads that.

[@pinsandneedles3]

That's interesting. Can you elaborate on the negative connotation? I'm not a native English speaker

[@Sough]

Im a native speaker and thought it was only positive. Maybe i missed its linguistic journey though

[@JudgeJeana]

Radically honest and hurtful are two very different pairs of shoes. "They look good, so I wanna talk to them." WTF?? How shallow do you want to be Bartise? Yes! 🙄

[@dawntaylor8749]

People need to learn to speak with an instructed tongue. Not everything we think needs to be verbalized.

[@freedomdestiny8269]

Why does everybody seem SO afraid to hold Batista and Matt accountable? Yea. Cole's probably the most annoying person on earth but at least he doesn't look like a woman abuser (Matt) and isn't the definition of a "Pick Me" that insecure shallow (Batista) & Nancy is the pure definition of desperation. This girl really went & dyed her hair blonde to fit Batista "Ideal Type". This girl needs to love herself first before finding a man; ALL these women do.🤦🏽‍♀️

[@dazedconfuseds]

You should be addressing Netflix, why they didn't show Matt all is aggressive scenes. Remember, they only show you what they want. This helps paint Cole as the good guy and Zay the villain. It's all a game for Netflix. If they cared for people's well being they would of intervened with Matt & Colleen and Cole & Zanab

[@emmamcintee645]

Can you react to Darrel brooks court case/his behavior in court? He is a very interesting (for lack of a better word) person and would love to hear your perspective!

[@Watchingvids01]

I thought about this but there’s soooo much footage and his history too. It would possibly take a lot for him to watch it all

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

I think he doesn't deserve any more of our time or attention, let him rot in jail, the psychiatrists there can deal with him.

[@emmamcintee645]

Yes true..maybe just some highlights although that might not be a very good insight into why he is the way he is. Either way, would be very interesting!

[@Watchingvids01]

@@InThisEssayIWill... I actually agree. I don’t follow anything about him anymore.

[@ilovetosweetthings]

I wonder why you’re more triggered by Cole than Bartise 🤔 I feel like Bartise is far worse in the way he ridicules Nancy.

[@missincognito2666]

Bartise didn't want Nancy doesn't make him a bad person I think he was saying those things to make her wanna live he's pushed her away so many times during their time together. He tried to make himself be into her but in the end he knew things would never work with her on top of not having a physical attraction to her their were to many differences I think he couldn't get over.

[@mariarosemarie]

So...love isn't blind?

[@jeremysmith9694]

Of course it's not. Is that even a question. I think it should be called, Love is Blind... Until you see each other.

[@Alicewunderimland]

For falling in love you need be at least on one eye blind, that’s the reality. They should call the show “love is a decision”… not a feeling as feelings come and go.. but how I see how people struggle between love and lust… they have lusted after the other woman their body.. real perverted sorry but it’s just an animalistic impulse/ instinct…

[@user-rf6gq8vz5v]

It’s interesting to me that you are saying that Bartise is not lacking empathy. I thought he is pretty entitled and lacks empathy because in my view he just “faked” empathy to come across as a better person. All the reasons he played up to get out of the relationship were things that made Nancy look bad but seemed unreal for me. I thought he was really trying to control his image on tv. But maybe I am wrong …

[@Alicewunderimland]

He searched excuses and criticised her, there weren’t problems. I have heard only excuses excuses and excuses instead of just saying “I don’t feel body wise” but of course he couldn’t say this the complete opposite from the show agenda .. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ the switch into joking around and the glass flattering and his face changed and said “no”… it said everything! He was in love in the pods and after no more. The illusion/ idea in this emotion. In the person no.. same when we meet someone online and have an illusion in our head and than having a real date and realising the reality is another one..

[@xxBreakxxAwayxx3]

Bartisse has sensitive moments but i agree that he also shows a lot of self centeredness. He has a style of being very outgoing and charming/friendly with people, which requires some level of empathy. He is able to read the room long enough to find his own space/rhythm...then he stops paying as much attention to others because his goal seems to be his own comfort. Which is how he gets caught up in his own feelings and doesnt stop to check how its being taken. sort of like a kid who is happy to share until they run out of candy and realize they should have kept it all or steal some back...

[@user-sz6dg4fc4p]

Btw they already watched the show before the reunion.

[@makaylacollins6458]

It would be really interesting to hear you talk about Ye and his actions recently. I feel like you would have a lot of interesting things to say

[@LauraAnca]

I don’t watch this show outside of this channel, but aren’t Nancy and Zanab (spelling might be incorrect) also freaking knockouts? They’re both gorgeous! It just goes to show how much we still value skinny people over (slightly) heavier ones 😢

[@cleopatrasrevenge]

Everyone's talking about how Bartise's apology was stupid but no one's pointing out that freaking SK told him off in that 'I'm so much morally superior to you' way? Bartise is an idiot, SK, but he's not a cheater and a liar, so stfu. It's YOU who Bartise should be reconsidering 'being bros' with. jUsT dOn'T dO iT aGAiN tho, amirite?

[@Jess_cool25]

Dr. Honda, could you review the new Casey Anthony documentary? I watched it and I was wondering if you could corroborate or not the theories mentioned throughout it.

[@noemiidraaa5057]

Can you please consider reacting to the married at first sight series ?? It seems to be less staged than this series also

[@jennyfox1398]

Hey why don't you analyze that wierd Seattle freeze thing happening there.

[@Meganb1286]

All of this. I was not a healthy girlfriend at 25 at all..that came w/more time and experience. We are not all the same. And the way he showed up for Matt I thought showed he has it in him as he matures to be a good dude. Time will tell.

[@vanessabiggs4369]

Please get to the Cuties!!!!

[@dazedconfuseds]

Come back next week

[@kicikicikicikici]

Omg this awkward guy 🫣🫣🫣

[@LK-rt9cb]

I am no therapist and I do not doubt that Dr H is a very good one. Yet I am sometimes gobsmacked by how flat-footed some of these responses are. In another video, a clip was played where Raven said Nancy was the girl she’d avoid at the mall, and Dr H said, yikes, I hope that isn’t what it sounds like. Of course it is! A line is being drawn between Raven, the cool/mean girl, and Nancy, who is older, but somehow more naive. That dynamic continues here, where Nancy doesn’t even know the phrase, “smokeshow,” and Raven has to come in and correct her. To me, it’s a sign that the generational divisions are getting more contracted, so that a 31 year old woman appears like an old-fogey next to her 20 something compeers. In short, Dr H, appreciate you, but pls try to straddle these conversations in real time. I’m a 60 year old dramatist, but I feel hipper to the undercurrents, which is kinda sad.

[@katarinasinfamy]

I am a big fan of radical honesty. To me this is something different- just blatant tactlessness. Big yikes from me. ;)

[@elinaq750]

13:20 What a hypocrite...🙄😬

[@sunnypie2]

I’m going to go far fetch here, but I sense most of the guys are jealous of Cole, and they are helping Matt because they don’t want Cole to be with Colleen. So Bartisse said that because he wanted to keep Colleen with Matt, not CLE. But I think Cole really liked Zay anyway. I just sense jealousy of Cole. He’s the one all the women liked.

[@emiluontube-you]

Day 5 of asking Dr Honda to react to Change Days on Netflix 🥰

[@siobhanchristine-bligh183]

Lol he really thinks he is all that, he is not that attractive??? How is he that clueless

[@lizaking25]

I feel so bad for disagreeing with you on the Bartise analysis! 🥲 I think the character "Bartise" we've seen on the show is most likely a dirtbag, and it's complicated to say that only because i suspect he might actually be very self aware and knows what a caring person should say in a given scenario. But I'd posit that he's throwing those empathetic things into his conversations primarily because he's trying to control how he's perceived. You'll notice he's quite good with words and I'd even say he's been borderline glib on the show, but his actions have thus far been exceptionally selfish. I even believe him choosing Nancy had more to do with her being so overly "giving" in spirit than Raven, and the fact that it was obvious that he was striking out with Raven. I agree that he likely has empathy, but i'd find it hard to believe he prioritises any of that over himself.

[@nnn9122]

This is very insightful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.