Love is NOT ENOUGH in Marriage

The title is a little cumbersome in that the statement's validity is largely dependent on how you define 'love'. If love is a feeling, then the title is slam dunk truth. If love is action (and not feeling), then I'm not quite as thrilled with the title, but regardless, I think it is safe to say that loving marriage needs wisdom if it is to survive. Here is some of our story, what we have discovered, and how some of you may be able to benefit.
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[@Howitsdone1213]

“If you raise your kids, you can spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your kids you will raise your grandkids.”

[@berniestraight126]

Very well said a man with great knowledge you are

[@isaacbrown3340]

Yeah that's one way to put it

[@read_old_books4351]

Friendly amendment: If you're an idiot, you'll make kids with an idiot. And no amount of wanting to raise your kids right or growing up afterward will undo that. So Trust in Christ and allow him to work in you on being Christlike in your gender role before you even think about marriage. Then, exult Christ in your home. But it's not guarantee that it's your fault if they turn out to be crapholes. It's more complicated than that in a broken world. It's not my fault my son is a rapist. His mom didn't help. She didn't support me trying to help him choose a different path. But still. It's on him. I get what you're saying. And I agree with the generalization. I just know for most of the people I counsel, there's a lot more meat behind that door. Cheers, friend.

[@shawnbruce6934]

Very True.

[@alandaniels6394]

Wow thought provoking, but true.

[@Bubba2Guns]

I heard an old Jewish saying, "The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

[@SharyffDaniels]

Ephesians 5:28-29 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church

[@Jaceymg42]

That's because of the natural order: The kids receive love from their mother, the wife receives love from her husband, the husband receives love from Christ, Christ receives love from God; God is love.

[@stevemcrichards8768]

....as long as he has authority in his household.

[@Jheckard85]

I agree... I can't say I do this, but I know that children play the game monkey see, monkey do... So if your loving your wife then the kids will learn that... When your stressed and and your about to blow your top. Take a minute keep your cool because your children are watching... They learn it all and yes every second of every day you're working because your the "show" that your children are learning from...tough stuff... I love that you guys are right in the same boat I am... But one thing is a little crazy is the difference between girls and boys and how each role of the parents is different from boys to girls... Crazy

[@joylopez2735]

Ultimately, love is a choice. Grow it with lots of love--on purpose. And yes--the best gift an Abba can give his children......is to love their Ema, imo.

[@Anamnesis]

Brothers, if you can get a woman to look at you the way John's wife looks at him, hold on to her and never let go.

[@wesleybullock814]

I agree

[@suboptimal2019]

I had this. I fucked it up.

[@arnoldduronag6248]

Ranger Chad

[@KP-Pro2A]

Amen!

[@Clancydog99]

Our best best man gave the best toast. "May today be the day you love each other the least."

[@DavidGutierrez-nt7ov]

Very well said! Very eloquent words and toast by the best best man👍

[@brianedminster7556]

That's good. I'm stealing that one. ;-)

[@NoNo_IStay]

That's good stuff. Powerful.

[@johnrambo2876]

The husband must be on her list of priorities as well. The kids will leave the house.

[@WarPoet-In-Training]

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” ― C.S. Lewis ps, showing this to my fiancee. I'm sure she will enjoy it as much as i did.

[@markmadsen6828]

You Both really nailed it when you named the success of your Marriage being based on your Faith and Foundation in God.. If you honor God in your Marriage he will Bless your Marriage...

[@Bhallmed]

My wife approves of shooting now because of this video.

[@mrspoet9907]

Bhallmed yesssssss so glad!

[@wyominghomesteader5063]

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home" David O. McKay

[@GrizzlyIsRippin]

Agreed. It doesn't matter what promotion you got, or what you drive or how much you make a year. If you go home and are completely miserable and emotionally drained because of your significant other you don't love anymore, none of it is worth it and could ever replace that happiness.

[@stevemcrichards8768]

Failure in the home starts with undermining male authority and wrongfully thinking men and women are equal. -- Me

[@marklishman3860]

@@stevemcrichards8768 Yes; men are held more accountable for the spiritual success of the family.

[@stephenrobinson5346]

Your channel is hitting on all cylinders now. Tough subject but America needs to hear this for sure. Including me.

[@mrspoet9907]

THanks Stephen

[@stanleyphillips2515]

53 years and counting. Couldn't be happier.

[@peterk8909]

Stanley Phillips God bless you and your wife. 53 more.

[@Jahmal4]

You look like ham.

[@p.johnson9502]

Wow

[@billrom795]

42 and damn happy 👍😎

[@5jjt]

Are you giving the number of a man with your hand?

[@jimdoner3443]

There's an old Christian song by Don Fransesco that says "love is not a feeling it's an act of your will"

[@stevemcrichards8768]

It's an act of man's will.

[@brianmagsipoc8718]

This is why I appreciate WPS so much. John's not just a tactical guy, he's a how can I improve all areas of my life guy. Keep it up!

[@marklishman3860]

Tactical spiritual warfare.

[@DerekGranquist]

I like the word Courting WAY better than Dating. Dating has a connotation of cheap, careless, sampling that leads to promiscuity whereas Courting has the idea of purpose or intent driven by true love.

[@homesteadishdad]

I agree!!!!

[@BB-wj8dv]

Derek Granquist I think John nailed it on the head, we do need more old fashioned today. Courting, not just the word, but the action of a persute of purpose, in this case, for marriage is something I find is almost entirely lost in my generation.

[@michaelblacktree]

Derek that's a good point. When you're courting, the goal is usually to find a spouse. But when you're dating, the goal is usually just to have fun.

[@danbyers8462]

After 42 years of marriage and 3 kids. Trust is what is the glue in marriage!

[@ryanjones4917]

That is a great description, I agree.

[@jimwagner6260]

Wow a rock solid Christian couple that loves each other I'm surprised KZbin let you on the air

[@continuouswave34]

MI’ve been married for 20 years and if there’s are any suggestions I can give it’s these: First don’t fall into “yes dear” mode to shut her up. You need TWO way communication, and i’m not just talking about men. Women also fall into “tell mode” aka nagging. Say what you don’t like, but try and do it with compassion. If you don’t it will explode. Second, don’t slack with staying in shape. It is so easy, as you get older, to get fat. In reality there’s no reason a 50 year old can’t have a six pack. Workout like your sex life depends on it, because it does. I’m 50 and since I dropped the 40s fat, my sex life went through the roof. Set physical goals not just pounds. This year I dropped enough pounds to start doing 10x3 sets of Dragon Flags, and last night I knocked out my first bent arm Planche in 25 years. This matters for health and for quality of life.

[@WarriorPoetSociety]

You rock. Great advice

[@Murphator]

yes

[@PaulAmerican]

You let her program you. I'll pour one out for the homie.

[@benhur6211]

@@PaulAmerican oh no, he’s bettering himself for the sake of his marriage to the woman he loves 😐😐😐

[@PaulAmerican]

@@benhur6211 I'm only busting his chops. Its the tale of a wedding ring box and a mouse trap, different design but same outcome.

[@johnandsolehuntley-loomis1767]

I just watched as I have recently discovered your channel, but I love the "Poet" in you. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Preparedness as a married man is not just defending your family from physical harm or intrusion, but service. Serve your partner. Service is sacrificial and a denial of self. Men: Do the dishes. Wash and fold the laundry. Clean. Wash her car. Never ask for accolades, do it because she IS you, and what you do for her you do for yourself. Give to your wife with no expectation of return, and regardless, you'll feel better. Train at these things. Hard.

[@jim687]

So true. I wish I had done more of that.

[@TheRooftopSHOUT]

When my kids talk back to her, it’s not “Don’t talk to your mother that way,” but rather “Don’t talk to MY wife that way.” They understand that my highest priority is her. And that adds a level of security to their world they couldn’t have if it was all about them.

[@Jaceymg42]

You and 43 other husbands don't put Christ as their highest priority? You cannot serve two masters. Order of God explained: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYa8qHmQptJ8fMU

[@philalcoceli6328]

@@Jaceymg42 The context of TheRooftopSHOUT's comment is talking about KIDS being disrespectful to their mothers, NOT about the whole context of life, where Christ should always reign supreme. In a man where God reign supreme, he will not tolerate unprovoked disrespect for the central woman of his life and mother of those being disrespectful. Those under God don't enable or tolerate sin or the early beginnings of sin. Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." JUST LIKE CHRIST DID!! Even though the Church, like men and women in matrimony, are imperfect sinners, Christ fought (1 John 3:8) and died for us. 1 John 4:20, "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen". In a real Christian matrimony, no HUMAN that we can SEE is closer than a spouse. It's our Christian duty to love and stand up for them as Christ did for the Church. Your comment is way out of base and context, super narrow minded and only makes us Christians look like fanatical, fundamentalist half-wits.

[@jaceydurland9098]

@@philalcoceli6328 You think the notion of putting Christ first makes Christians look bad?

[@philalcoceli6328]

@@jaceydurland9098 Amazingly and shockingly, it also totally flew over your head that that is exactly what I am talking about. When Christ is first and foremost above all, you totally love your spouse as CHRIST loved and loves the Church and gave His life for her, as the Word says. Why did the God of the Bible choose the relationship of matrimony so many times in the Bible to show the relationship between Him and us? Why does He exalt it so much while you pretend to be more god than God Himself and totally ignore His Holy Word? You can preach what you want to sound super hyper-spiritual, "holier-than-thou", superior or whatever, but: "We ought to obey God rather than men", Acts 5:29.

[@jaceydurland9098]

@@philalcoceli6328 Do you have anger?

[@gordonwybo898]

“Love is a verb” & “Love is a choice “ are the best quotes I’ve ever heard!!

[@Jaceymg42]

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing. Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

[@danieldunn368]

Thank you John. I just discovered Warrior Poet Society about a month ago. I love all the extra stuff just as much as the Guns & tactics. It is also nice to hear someone say "God" in the Tactical community without it being used to swear.

[@KLP99]

My sweetheart and I will have been married for 42 years May 2019. We are more in love now than ever. We've had tough times. Like me not really understanding that women Must Have Girlfriends! She was so eager to please me that she didn't spend time with her girlfriends because she thought I didn't want her to. I didn't know she was not doing things she wanted to for nearly 20 years. Then the light came on. We've done better since, and our marriage wasn't bad. Now it's exquisite. But until you have a rebellious teenager, you don't know how hard life can be, especially if one of them leaves your faith. Finally though they came back, like Proverbs teaches. We're now empty-nesters... Life's great, except for our health.... That's another story. But we home schooled, and covenanted with God that I'd work my backside off to support our decision for my wife to be a stay at home mom. It's been the best for us. Traditional family life is the secret to happiness. But it has to be unanimous.

[@mrspoet9907]

Karl Pearson thanks Karl for following, glad you’re here.

[@andresmedina4986]

Wow! Congratulations! Millions would envy you guys! I wish America was composed only of families like yours. We would be really great and improving as a nation. God bless you.

[@KLP99]

@@mrspoet9907 I so much appreciate your comment. My sweetheart and I just watched part of this video together and she said, "She looks so young! Are you sure she's not his teenage daughter?" I thought I heard somewhere you're about the same age as John. It's not important and maybe it was in my own head... But, it's in both your eyes that each of you absolutely adores the other. It's so refreshing to see. Thank you for sharing that gift of unity and loyalty. Hollywood definitely isn't America!

[@jacksman7]

After being married for years you two have this eye contact that I instantly picked up on and it tells a great relationship in just that. Y'all have something special and keep inspiring us to reach for that.

[@nmr6988]

A sincere "I'm sorry' works miracles. Truly forgiving and not keeping score of all the times you hurt each other's feelings is REALLY important.

[@rvondersaar]

Nancy M-R 7

[@user-ss6zt2mo1l]

Nancy M-R it’s really hard to say “I’m sorry” when you are not sorry 😐 and you just want her to shut up. 😉

[@timokimm]

And beware of the use of words like "always" and "never"

[@Pinksalmun]

My favorite thing about this is their reactions. Watch one while the other is speaking and you can see much they still deeply and genuinely care for each other.

[@j.p.thearmoredchef]

I remember meeting both of you at the uscca show in Pittsburgh. I was talking to John. One of your kids got sick. The way you two worked together was truly inspiring.

[@DerekGranquist]

You're exactly right. The thought that love is at its highest when new and fresh is fueled by lust and desire and NOT by Love. True Love grows and matures over time and through trials and hardships.

[@DerekGranquist]

... just as metal is tempered in the fire.

[@mrspoet9907]

very Poetic there Derek, thanks for your support

[@drewschlosser26]

You can see the sparkle in both of your eyes even after years of marriage

[@jonathanaslack]

Very good topic, I love that she says "we're INVESTING more INTENTIONALLY on each other" hearing you all talk about this reminds me of my marriage preparation through the church. I wish more couples openly talk more about this and gave guidance on for younger generations. A marriage always takes three; God, husband, and wife! Thank you for sharing valuable information!

[@backdoor5993]

Wow, you nailed it! "When I'm good with her..." I can do ANYTHING. When we're not so okay, I'm lost and feeling rudderless and angry and self doubting. That's not to say that my dependence upon her approval is an addiction, but rather a validation. My wife is wiser than me in MANY ways. I'm good with being productive and protective and doing research and planning for the "what ifs", but she is the guru of making it happen. I whole heartedly respecct and appreciate her abilities. But, I'm the doer, adventurer, "adapt, improvise, and overcome" kind of guy (SemperFi). We butt heads sometimes, but we always try to listen to each other and look for the wisdom in what the other is bringing to the table. My wife is the most important human in my life, even above me. I would die for her without hesitatiion. And, I'm thankful to be able to live with her!

[@ryanyoder8458]

“Wisdom for every Season” that’s some strong Christian vocab there. :)

[@mrmom22]

it is amazing how brutally honest you guys are

[@bldlightpainting]

Yep, and that's a very good thing.

[@justiceman7]

Have been watching and recommending your channel for awhile, and so many times I find myself thinking, "Dude, I need to share this with the guys in my young adults Bible study!" This is one that's relevant to the whole group and hits things we all really need to hear. I'll be showing it to them this Monday night. Thank you both for caring about stuff like this enough to share it with those of us who need it.

[@WarriorPoetSociety]

Thanks Edwards!

[@Cor430vette]

I told me wife that when we got married I would bring her flowers every month for the rest of her life. I have not missed a month yet....and we are going on 23 years. We disagree on things and quarrel sometimes but have never fought like you mentioned. Also we never felt anything was really" allot of work" or hard as you mentioned. Maybe if you implement the flower strategy....??

[@1980tiffani]

I think constant effort is a good way of putting it... bringing your wife flowers every month for 23 years is a wonderful way to show the effort you’re putting Into your marriage..

[@jaydunbar7538]

Your perception of your arguments and effort does not change the validity of the statement. This is the age old "enjoy your work and you never work a day in your life", your applying it to your marriage. I enjoy plenty of things that are factually a lot of work, we need to get away from the negative connotations of what work is.

[@psycomutt]

Good job sir. My rule is to tell my wife she's beautiful and make her laugh at least once a day, no matter what's going on. Being a good husband (and wife) is something people don't appreciate enough.

[@chaddjames5105]

You two are what people should aspire to be! Thanks for being an amazing role model

[@derosierm1]

Chadd James Agreed!

[@JacobMcandles]

Gotta have respect and faith in your spouse too... my grandfather was an OTR truck driver and he gave my grandmother full access over the family finances because he knew she was level headed and frugal. One day he calls home and she tells him “I bought us a house”... sight unseen his answer was “ok”. ❤️ I have been on dating apps for years and not once did I ever find a woman I could trust like that, most were barely smart enough to make good financial decisions. 😥

[@BOOZEFIGHTER]

13 years and a lifetime to go. I love the hell out of my wife. This is the best tour of duty I’ve ever had, but it takes communication and a constant self awareness of the love we share. My wife keeps me squared away, the best c/o I’ve ever had. 😄. We’re a work in progress for sure, but a solid faith in god helps a solid faith in each other. Love y’all I hope my little piece a knowledge helps anyone out there.

[@sammanning6178]

Amen. Thank you sure. I'm 19 and I think I've found a traditional God - fearing woman.

[@henryseven5895]

Cool. Possibly homeschooling. My wife and I just completed 28 years of schooling our five children. A great benefit of this is the kids are all best friends. That makes family gatherings a real blessing.

[@ManVsChip]

My wife is a psychologist (marriage and family therapist) and a very good one at that, We have a 4 yr old daughter and its even tough for us often. Timing of this video couldn't be more perfect for me. Thanks John and Mrs Poet for this.

[@mrspoet9907]

THanks for following Ric

[@jeremyluebker2055]

nice to see the family involved in these... and high-five on the homeschooling decision. I was homeschooled k-12 and thank my parents constantly for that decision.

[@JONWAMBO]

As someone who has only been married a little over a year, I really appreciated the nuggets of wisdom in this video. Rings very true for me.

[@samuelmichalcewicz7852]

I came to this channel originally for the weapons content, but this... This is bar-none one of the best channels for not only weapons and training, but also for life advice from a traditional perspective. As a Christian, this is not something I see all the time. So, to see this (on KZbin of all places!) is just awesome! Keep doing what you guys are doing on this channel. It has more of an impact than you realize.

[@bldlightpainting]

You're right John; "courting" has the connotation of getting to know someone for the purpose of a life-long marriage, whereas "dating" has devolved into just sexual immorality as in animalistic "mating."

[@fantastichamp]

This stuff is gold, I love the unboxing reviews, the training videos, the warrior poet profiles, but tieing in some real life marriage advise with your 12 years of experience is excellent. Don't stop all that you're doing with these videos.

[@mrspoet9907]

thanks for tuning in

[@42t40]

"Be the person you want your kids to be" James Taylor

[@TheArake07]

This was awesome! My dad always used to say to my sister and I that he loved us very much, but if it came down to it, he’s choosing our mom 100% of the time

[@nunyabidnessanyway7013]

This kind of content is what makes WPS the most complete, most applicable, most honest channel I'm subscribed to. Thanks for sharing this. We could all use this kind of information. Not only does it help my shooting it helps me love my wife of 35 years even more!!

[@Kaio7]

22 minutes in and I had to pause to let you know that this may be THE best video you've done so far. Thank you so much to both of you for putting yourselves out there and sharing your experience and accumulated wisdom over the years. PS: of course I love your regular content (that's why I subscribed years ago and hardly miss a video) but this was an excellent change of pace. Hopefully you feature Mrs poet more often, her insights are truly appreciated.

[@mrspoet9907]

thanks for your support of the society Aaron

[@andyvu8513]

Aaron Swartz - Agreed. Change of pace is good sometimes.

[@psoren423]

Man after 10 years and thousands of dollars spent on classes and dvds my wife and I could have just watched this! Kidding but some truth in this, y’all hit a lot of it right on the head. Lots of similar conversations happened with us. Good stuff, Mrs. Poet and John.

[@jamesvogel1915]

Something that works for me is everyday I hold my wife in my arms and tell her I love her. Everyday. I tell her how wonderful she is everyday. I look for a way to help her or make her smile everyday. I tell her that President Trump and I have a lot in common, we both have supermodel wives. We pray together each day. We help each other with things that are difficult and say I am sorry often and mean it. My wife is a saint. Everyone loves her. I was unaffected and hard and then her example helped me let down barriers and let her in. I am in awe of my wife. I have been blessed.

[@1221vito]

I need this stuff more than anyone really ever should...lol. I've been backing off the gun stuff and trying to work on the poet more, but it's freaking HARD! ❤️

[@peterk8909]

Vito Griffin Nothing worthwhile is easy. Keep at it, the rewards worth it.

[@mrspoet9907]

Cheers to Poeting Vito! cheering you on

[@alallan7584]

God bless you Vito, I am with you

[@user-pv9pv4xf9c]

Vito Griffin same. Ive come to realize that God doesn't want me to be a badass warrior. God literally told me I need to sell all my guns except my Glock 19. But I'll nag him until he lets me also buy a 17. Haha

[@alallan7584]

I think is it is more of our attitude toward our weapons. Are they a tools or idols ?

[@iancornell141]

If more people had happy marriages the world would be a better place. I consider myself blessed that I have such a loving and caring wife.

[@peterk8909]

Ian Cornell Please tell her.

[@mrspoet9907]

THat's awesome Ian

[@noneya6334]

Remember, King and Queen. Its not Queen, King... you must be a man and take care of business to have a women. Also, a women must be more than just a hot piece of ass

[@Jaceymg42]

The world would be a better place if people understood this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q3nMdoh6rteaos0

[@Bhallmed]

Seriously I can tell ms poet loves John. When he speaks I can see she adores John! That’s love!

[@davenapier1164]

Mrs Poet is a great addition. She is well spoken and your chemistry is very fun to watch! I want to ask, encourage, and beg you to continue to talk about your faith and how important it is. So many men don't get the concept of being a "christian man". So many men are wired to be heroes/warriors/fighters....and then church tells them they have to be meek, quiet, and passive. There have been very few people that have truly taught men how to be tough for their family, but gentle and loving with their family. The church needs to learn how to cultivate the Warrior Poet in men. The Warrior Poet by John Lovell sounds like a great book. Or going to churches for a Saturday class on the range with a Saturday night or Sunday morning talk. Obviously, you should do what you are called to do, but if that seed is already growing in your mind I just want to encourage you to move forward. We need that in our culture today.

[@aqua.scape69]

I can relate to what you said when you were saying “ If your good with her your ok but, if your not ok with her your not ok and nothing else in the world matters.” That is so true in our marriage. She is my rock and my world always seems to spin off of how we are getting along day to day. Our faith definitely is the thing that keeps us together in the tough times along with our love, and respect for one another. Great stuff John, thank you both. My wife and I will enjoy this discussion.

[@thedoubleop]

This is something I have been actively working on. Great to here others knowing it's more than love.

[@therealpreparedhomestead]

EXCELLENT!!!!! As a father of 6 children I approve of this message. Sir, you and your lovely wife are correct and please continue with your great work in all the areas you are pursuing.

[@inquiringmind2710]

Just put the kids down and the wife and I are coloring listening to this video. Been married 17 years Soo nice to hear we are not alone in our struggles and approaches to marriage!!!

[@tessbenson7927]

I LOVE this, hubster and I have been married 15 years, we still like each other a lot. We homeschool, going into our 7th year. We put each other first before the kids, I relate to so much of this! THANK you for sharing this and being real! YES, TAG TEAMING after a business trip~! Works for us too! Hubs is AMAZING at it too!

[@mrspoet9907]

Thanks Tess, glad to have you here

[@e.l.thornton1286]

You two are way to young to be so wise. I thank you both for putting this together for everyone to see. My wife and I sure do need to try this, and find what works for us. We have fallen into that friend rut. And haven't worked on us in a very long time. Once again Thank you!

[@ncarson5117]

I've seen a few of your other vids. Thought to myself, knowledgeable guy, but there's already enough of them out there. After this video, I'm more compelled to follow your channel. Good, honest insight. Amazing how uncommon this knowledge is! This kind of info can restore, repair & eliminate divorce if people would listen & TRY!!

[@mpholicx2]

This is so true. We've been married 44 years. We raised 3 sons and she was alone with them for extended periods while I was deployed with Marines. Coming home from a year long deployment everybody had to learn everything all over again. Their teen years coincided with our transition to civilian life which was a new dose of stress. We have been empty nesters for about ten years now and I'm still "chasing her around the house". It is HARD work but definitely worth every second. We are at the doorway of retirement and I have my best friend to spend the rest of my life with.

[@kevinroberts9580]

Well John, you captured an extremely fine specimen of Womanhood there with brains and an amazing heart. They're not all that way, you done good

[@EWTHeckman]

I agree. He has managed to find a particularly wise woman, an excellent partner for a wise guy like him.

[@noname-ew9vg]

Kevin Roberts I thought so too.

[@torreyintahoe]

@Leo Peridot I can't tell if you're joking or serious.

[@bosun1908]

@@torreyintahoe -- Actually, Leo is the joke, can't you tell? Clowns are pretty easy to spot - and speaking of spots, all you need to look for are their Troll-Stripes or Troll-Spots!

[@jacobbcox1985]

I think a lot of people need this. People don't get told how to make life work by that children, marriage and life balance. If I didn't know this, cause I was lucky my grandfather and grandmother told me when I was a teen what and how to make it work. I just don't think they told my mom or uncle. But they may have never asked them all the questions I asked growing up. They were amazing why my grandfather is my hero!!!

[@alyssaihrig8859]

This is the best video ever. Extremely eye opening and realizing of being there for your spouse and survive through the life of babies and toddlers. We are currently going through the life and struggle of a year old boy and 2 year old girl and boy do we put up a fight. This helped us beyond what you could imagine and my fiancé and I are taking your advice and insight so graciously. Whole heartedly we thank you both and will be looking forward to more true content. ♥️

[@SeegerB52]

As a father of two boys, like you guys, I can relate. Which is why after having kids I gave my mom a coffee mug for Christmas that said “grandchildren are the reward for not killing your kids”. Thanks for the videos 👍🏻

[@singleguylifehacks626]

Don't just watch this; watch it with your partner so you both are on the same page. Unfortunately my ex and I suffered tremendous burn out from life and work and didn't communicate it well with one another.

[@type_s_tyler7547]

Maybe do a video for the single people looking for someone? “Dating advice with John Lovell” lol get all of Garand Thumbs audiance over here haha!

[@user-ie6ye5ls6y]

Garand thumbs audience is only worried about sleeping with garand thumb so i dont think the warrior poets have any advice for them besides pick up your bible.

[@fosatech]

@@user-ie6ye5ls6y what about flannel daddy?

[@user-ie6ye5ls6y]

@@fosatech what about him?

[@fosatech]

@@user-ie6ye5ls6y what about?

[@user-ie6ye5ls6y]

@@fosatech about?

[@gray460]

I watched this video with my wife, and to be honest we both agreed to this couple. Thank you for your advice John and Mrs.Lovell.

[@e25023]

Great video, Mrs. Poet and John. John hinted at this once, I did my "Warrior" stuff early in life (8yrs.- Rangers Lead the Way.) I believe that worked well for me. I have found that being a "Poet" is much more difficult than being a "Warrior." Now I'm 28.5 yrs. married, I have 1 son that married last month and soon to be a grand father. Can't wait to hear the podcast. Rock on, "THTS." Message Ends.

[@yuridelcastillo220]

I'm a believer that the husband and wife comes first. . The kids are in the back seat, so to speak. . The kids will learn that the parents hold a leadership role and that over time will provide good structure in their development. . .

[@BrockNessMonster1991]

Yuri Del Castillo - I wish my wife thought more like this. She honestly only cares about the kids

[@user-pv9pv4xf9c]

Brock Nasty my brother's marriage is awful. He basically has an extra kid to take care of with her.

[@TheManOWrath]

Very vague and generalizing.

[@rangersmith4652]

A lot of people lose focus on the spouse when children enter the picture. As a couple, you place your children's need very highly, but remember, your children cannot thrive in a toxic household. There's a reason why the flight attendant tells you to put your own mask on first.

[@user-vv9np5iq7n]

Brock Nasty Watch this AND LEARN: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jpK3p6WlbdOIe9E

[@nukembear2345]

Ya only married each other to propigate more people with great hair, i seen the truth.

[@clamum]

nukem bear rofl, awesome.

[@user-pv9pv4xf9c]

nukem bear John's hair is immaculate.

[@DavidMN-]

My wife and I lead marriage retreats in an effort to revive our town through marriage... massive thumbs up! You werd both spot on throughout this! God, then spouse, then kids!!!

[@supremegoatleader7946]

John, I can't tell you how much my wife and I totally agree with you and your bride. Thank you so much for sharing your story. God Bless you and your family!

[@jrbullock]

So rare couples like this. Ppl always want the easy way out so when they talked about after they got married and the chart went way down most Ppl don't fight to overcome the hard stuff they just bail out and look for something better and easier. Grass is always greener on,the other side mentality which is not the approach you want to take. Relationships are always hard work regardless of what kind of relationship is.

[@nunyabidnessanyway7013]

Justin Bullock True. The grass is greener on the other side but you still HAVE TO MOW IT!! Tend to your own yard and yours will be greener, more satisfying and longer lasting. Having God in the marriage is the best fertilizer for your yard.

[@jrbullock]

Nunyabidness Anyway agreed. Having God at the center of your marriage is so important. My parents have been married over 40 years and growing up i never saw them fight. They had discussions and got frustrated but they never raised their voice or said hurtful things. God was always apart of our family growing up and my sisters and I when we still lived with them even in like high school after 30 years of marriage my parents would be cooking food and just start making out in,the kitchen and chase each other around. I was blessed to see what a truly good marriage looked like when I was growing up so i have high standards for what I want when I find my wofe. She must be my best friend and I think ppl miss that step. Being a friend as well as a spouse doesn't happen a lot in marriage these days. Ppl don't take the the sanctity of marriage anymore. When they say for better or worse when they get married they don't truly mean it anymore. It's just what you say.

[@JefferyT]

Beautiful, beautiful family. You two should be proud.

[@Mark_Spivey]

One word, AWESOME! Thank you for this video and I would love to see you do this on a semi-regular basis... maybe once a month. As for me and my house, we serve the Lord and make intentional efforts to keep Him in the center of our family. Great nuggets of truth and wisdom in this video. Kudos!

[@mrspoet9907]

Mark Spivey thanks Mike

[@YetiMama]

John, and mrs poet, thank you for this video. Y'all are putting out some serious wisdom and I appreciate it. My wife and I needed this.

[@battheman777]

John, I've come to love the poet stuff just as much as the warrior stuff. This was a fantastic segment! Thanks Mrs. Poet!

[@purtyboyfloyd2290]

You guys are spot on, love my wife very much but we don’t always get along and have to talk things out. Marriage is def a compromise between 2. Always make time for just the 2 of you. Never leave without saying I love you, old school does work!!! Good video

[@mrspoet9907]

sounds good Doug

[@hambone7777777]

Y'all are awesome.

[@bldlightpainting]

Yes, the more we mature, put our wives first and force sinful selfishness to take a back seat, the more we'll learn what true love is. "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!" 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

[@zzgamer17]

My brother watches your videos and sent me this. I am married, 7 years on Sept 10, and we have two kiddos, an almost 6 yo girl and almost 2 yo boy. This video was so good. I love ya'll and I love that you took the time be real and honest about marriage. Too many people think that at the first blow of difficulty they need to get out or marriage isn't for them. We planned to have kids but our first came way before we really had it planned out...as in one year Anniversary and then 3 months later we had our first babe. Can you say HARD AS ALL GET OUT!!!! We struggled, but we have made it/ are making it. You are so right. It is all a choice. And there are parts we are still working on and making right. What's love got to do with it??? Alot, but not all of it. And for us too, Jesus is the center. He has to be. Then us. Then errbody else!! Can't wait to watch more of your stuff!!

[@stoicodysseys6352]

Within the last few months Ive discovered your channel. As a Marine Corps veteran I was initially interested in your tactical/survival content, but as you've expanded your topics I've come along for the ride. Your content is detailed and your presentation is top notch. I am a fan. I sent my wife this to watch. Thanks for all you do!

[@mrmom22]

the Sound is so awesome, excited for the podcast

[@shojus]

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT video! I'm not married, and already have been through one divorce, so I know just how hard it is! Take your time and never choose someone based upon something that will not be there in the future! Great conversation!

[@donmarion8808]

You all are are awesome.. my wife and I have been married for over 20 years. She's a stay at home mom and home schools our 4 amazing kids. We rely heavy on our lord and savior for guidance. Your sir are very blessed as I am to have such an amazing wife. Keep up the awesome work with your channel . Thank you for all that you do. May the lord bless you and your family.

[@jessieluce912]

I can relate to Mrs. Poet on every level. Stay at home mom, homeschooler. Thank you for sharing!

[@nickb6162]

Love and marriage is like a triangle. At the base in the corners you have the husband and wife. At the top you have God. When you both pursue God to get closer to him you can't help but to get closer to each other. That's the secret to marriage.!

[@GreyBlackWolf]

Thats also the secret to a beginning relationship. I made a girl im talking to mad many times and we both broke down. And then I called out to God and said "Need to be with you more" and everything started getting better from there.

[@santhony74]

You're right! And couples put way too much pressure on each other to draw happiness their spouse. That has to come from God. No person could possibly live up the expectations.

[@inshasha6217]

This is very nice my friend.

[@notverysur3rightnow145]

That's nice but what if you're an atheist and your spouse is

[@stefanbrezar8642]

God bless you

[@shojus]

Beautiful family! Full of smiles! Keep it going forever if you can.... :)

[@diverchaz9409]

As an older couple, past both divorced, kids out of the home, you treat your mate with utmost respect, do for them first, put them first, express your love and commitment everyday.

[@hambycustomknives2825]

Very well done! Praying we can make that happen in our marriage. Living with 2 stepkids can be difficult when they outrank me. Love your videos brother. Good to see your face Mrs. poet!! 👍🏼🇺🇸

[@poppopscarvinshop]

It takes each person giving 100%, not 50% each.

[@curtwhite876]

James White true!

[@poppopscarvinshop]

@R L Clark -- My Wife & I are both disabled. When she's down to 75.4% I do the best I can to kick in that extra 25.6%. And she does the same for me. I understand that mathematically 100% is all there is, but metaphorically, in marriage, 200% is a full glass. It's the goal of our marriage. And we actually talk about that goal being reached or not three or four times a week. That keeps the pressure from building up too much. I hope I've explained myself better & helps some!

[@brandydinsmore8214]

James White You know, I think those are two different things. I think day-to-day our effort level needs to add up to 100% if possible which means one day one person 75 the other day the other person 75. But I do think that it takes to kind of hold people to make a good relationship and if you’re an emotional mess and your spouse is in emotional mess, two halves don’t really make a whole. I think this is more like people who get into a relationship too quick after a divorce and they haven’t given themselves time to heal before they started up another one. But it also means you need to take care of your own mental status and so does your partner and then you have 2 much more complete humans. I don’t think it’s physical, like disability-wise, but I think it’s emotional and mental that you each kind of need to be whole or be striving to get there. And that means if you have a mental illness, taking your meds and getting your therapy or whatever you have to do to stay sane. It doesn’t mean being perfect mentally..

[@mrmom22]

so the famous line of John Lennon love is all you need is really FALSE John Lovell, you are a true example I want to look at my wife the way you look at Mrs Poet. absolutely amazing. They way you guys both (John to Mrs. poet and vise versa) the way you guys just (pardon the pun) drink each other in, is truly expiring

[@medina_jesse94]

Loved this video. Just got married 2 years ago we just had our second child, being a young married couple and now a young married couple with kids we are learning what works for us. I am definitely going to be sharing this with my wife.

[@bigugly1911]

Having a truly great marriage is not easy. You have to work at it. My wife and I will celebrate our 11th anniversary this year. No things havent been easy, but it has without question been worth it. On point with the view on children and marriage. They will fail miserably at life if they are always the center of everything (I'm not saying to neglect one's children in any way) I feel very fortunate to have a woman that has stayed by my side through really hard times. Times when we had no clue where our next meal would be from, or how we would keep the lights on. It's amazing how much being married to your best friend helps in times like those. Love your channel!

[@dans1891]

Thanks for sharing your life and keeping it real. May God continue to bless your family!

[@dewestmusic243]

In actuality all the good things that you describe are examples of love in action. Love is so much more that lust and physical attraction. Good communication is critical in every season and situation in life. You two are a lovely couple that encourage us with your transparency. Great video!

[@shayhenderson116]

The poet side is also new for me and balance in life with my wife and kids and work and fun but with John's advise I really have became a little more balanced than I was before thanks John!!!

[@newdad1236]

Excellent video, it seems yall are an awesome team! I'm in law enforcement and had to work nights years ago. I would have dinner made(or kids fed ChickFila :) ) and gave both kids a bath before wife got home at 6p. Like yall, we said Hi to each other, kissed and handed off duties. She was grateful that she didnt have to cook and wrestle with bath time. Worked great! I love the videos with Mrs. Poet because it makes the dialogue so much more entertaining and she gives a valuable perspective .

[@jamescameron1843]

Mrs. Poet is also very good with word and articulate (& more); yay for that! : )

[@rodscrivner7132]

They ooze with love for each other..Pretty awesome..

[@jrshumate4488]

Great video. Lol That kiddo was itching to touch something. Probably would have found the only self destruct button on the computer. hahaha

[@redbeard_outdoors]

Wow, I’m stoked about the podcast launching. Y’all are amazing, my wife and I are finding balance right now going through a new season of marriage. You’ve hit it right on the head