Ep. 005 | You NEED a Tribe. Here's how to get one. | JLS

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[@tedgentry3669]

"Won't find your band attending church, but serving in the church" fully agree! I run our church security team, and those guys are becoming my tribe.

[@inertiallychallenged]

Exact same scenario for me as well.

[@thefreedomwarrior]

Unfortunately we have a Fed on our church security team🙄. Therefore I cannot be involved. I do not allow feds of any kind in my circle of trust. They are not family or freedom safe. I do have a tribe but it’s more like the last of the Mohicans. Too few of us.

[@imprendit0re]

@@inertiallychallenged #METOO

[@timunderbakke8756]

Same here. My church team is my tribe

[@johnzeigler5130]

When he started talking about developing a tribe with people at church this is immediately what I thought of. I have noticed a tribe developing in our security team. The only thing I wish is there were more people around my age. The average age of people in that group is probably 20 years older than me.

[@learningtorah1439]

This episode made me brake down. I have no band of brothers, my wife dose not have a band of sisters. Our family is struggling, and our marriage is falling apart. my family, my wife, our marriage need some serious prayers. as well as my self.

[@Syntax_Error_404]

For me, participating in the church, just like they said in this video really helped. Attended for 5 years but it was first when I actually started to help them plan events, renovate the church etc, that I started to get friends.

[@elizabethy2912]

I started going to church in the past few months, and have found a good and faithful tribe. God led me and my schizophrenic daughter there. I have been isolated for 2 decades, no friends, no fellowship, but God led me there, and I KNOW He did. I have no other family but my daughters, and one of them is estranged from me bc of major family dysfunction and narcissism . I'm separated from my husband bc of his personality disorder!! God miraculously gave me a wonderful support system- to be blessed by and to bless!! God Is GOOD!!😊❤

[@9er..]

Hope you’re hanging tough and finding love of your God while finding love for yourself. You’ve got brothers right here.

[@dillonleverette307]

Just sent a prayer up for you man. I don’t know you, but the Lord does. I don’t know what’s going on in your life, but the Lord does. Find a spiritually alive church. If you have question reply here, and I’d be happy to talk. God bless!

[@Dozer111]

brother, no it's not. It only stops when we stop trying. Gather strength, focus on health. Rest is a must. But i feel you. I feel like finally me and my wife are starting to get over our biggest speed bump and looking back, i see how easily we could have broken up if i succumbed to defeat. You got this!

[@NunYaBiznesz]

"Men connect side by side doing something together." That's correct, in my experience. A family friend of mine and I are super close because we do construction together. Although I'm 30 and he's pushing 70, I enjoy the time spent learning from an older generation man and shooting the breeze as we work side by side. We don't hangout and talk outside of work, but we sure talk a lot when we have tools in our hands. It's a positive experience I wouldn't give up for the world.

[@MovieNerd1994]

I haven't had friends since 2015, I NEEDED this. Gonna go to a boxing club tomorrow and see how it goes, I have nothing to lose. Thank you John.

[@paddypibblet846]

Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Sorry to sound so blackpilled, but the majority of people out there won't even risk their social media account for you, let alone their job or even life. There is no such thing as tribe in the modern world, with the exception of your children. Even your woman is likely to walk in today's world. The only actual successful tribe out there, are the elite's of the nations, and the small rebel groups out there, like the Taliban.

[@c3bhm]

Jiujitsu, or general MMA (which will include jiujitsu) would probably be better. It's a softer/friendlier practice, and people tend to get together at house parties for watching UFC events.

[@MovieNerd1994]

@@c3bhm I do actually have a few Jiu Jitsu clubs in my town so maybe I will check them out instead, thanks for the suggestion man.

[@francisdavis1271]

@c3bhm Now, now.. you can't be suggesting alien philosophy to John's tribe. Eastern martial arts brings the wisdom of the Tao which I compliment you for attempting to save the young men from these Nazis. John's philosophy is that you have to worship Big Daddy in the Sky to be a Good American. John probably thinks that Taoism is a Communist invention. Don't you be indoctrinating his followers with any of those ideas... makes it hard to turn them into stone cold killers.

[@memags]

Same boat brother. I have cigar shop friends, gym acquaintances. A few dinner couple friends. But I don’t really have a one and one friend and havnt had that for about 30 years

[@archangelmichael1978]

It's odd. Here's how it went down for me. I come home from war and go to the VFW that my grandfather was a member at. Get carded, proof that I'm legit, they let me in. I get a beer at the bar and watch tv for an hour or so. Not a SINGLE person said a word to me. A room full of old vets. No younger guys to be found. I leave. Welp, so much for the VFW. I go to the VA and they're awesome. BUT STILL, it's like the old vets keep to themselves and it's just the younger Desert Storm and 9/11 vets that buddy up. Even then, it's just a doctor's appointment, so no deep or meaningful bonds are being formed. I decided an office job wasn't for me and wanted to get back into uniform. I used my GI Bill for Law Enforcement. I loved it. Very close knit and I'd like to think that I (and others like me) made it a bit closer. I was an FTO at the end and every rookie I trained, I drilled it into his/her head that everyone in the "First Responder Community" is our family. That firefighter over there, he's your brother. That paramedic, she's your sister. The 911 call center, brothers and sisters. That CO. Brother. Nurse. Sister. You get the picture. Most of these first responders are all veterans of our past 20 years of war and the "family" sentiment has run much deeper. We even have a first responder flag now. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. Before I retired, I hung the flag next to our time clock. The ritual goes like this. Punch the clock, slap the flag (like tagging into the fight like a wrestling match, but also, it connects you to all of the other first responders under that flag), and then enter the gates of hell (at the jail) and go to work. Last time I visited, that first responder flag was still there next to the time clock. 🥰

[@TheInfantry98]

Oh hello this the real world. In the real world veterans don’t care about each other one bit

[@jrussell76]

As a fulltime firefighter I'm very happy to hear that you taught the rookies that. I do the same with my rookie firefighters. We are all a part of the first responder family. You don't pick who is in your family like you do your friends, but they are your family, and family always needs to be there for one another.

[@TheAxe4Ever]

Man! I feel like the oddball out now. In my 57 years, I’ve had tried multiple times to have a band of brothers in different aspects and activities in my life, but they have always let me down. I though we were tight, then either someone or a few of them have always let me down and made me not want to hang out with them. It makes me think “friends? Who needs them?” Because when you have friends and it always works out to where they want something from you. They get needy. And if you turn them down for a hang because I’m spending time with y family or just to relax by yourself, they get jealous and pissy like a chick and get mad. I’d be happy in a small cabin in the mountains somewhere far away from everyone. That’s my idea of happiness. I guess I’m a loner.

[@victorygarden556]

the gym is the only place I think I can find quality tribe. Gotta work hard by yourself and show up, then you’re on the table as an option.

[@ItsAMbutyoutubechangedmyname]

After moving country it’s been hard to make friends that don’t just use you for there purpose for you to be there for them but not if you need them I think it’s easier to say who need friends so I miss friends yes 100% but I don’t want fake ones either

[@MovieNerd1994]

Suffering has made you seek solace in your own company, its only an issue if its an issue. Acquaintances make the best friends.

[@mtnbound2764]

i hear ya man

[@Heartwing37]

Same

[@NickBlazer-cf1vs]

Camping is a great way to find a tribe. Clicks lots of boxes… Getting along for long periods of time. Cooking and planning, elements/weather, sharing resources.

[@WildCelt130]

I thought that was a really weird comment until I realized that most people don't associate camping with solo backpacking.

[@amberd8219]

This is all so true. Our men absolutely need a band of brothers...and has brought to my attention we women need a circle of sisters of like minds as well. My husband and I need to work on this. Thanks for this guys. Good stuff here. Blessings to you all.

[@mikefarmer4748]

I've heard it from my wife more times than I can count. Try to engage in conversations about certain topics, "you need a boyfriend".

[@bluedoggal4408]

It's important for us as wives to encourage our husbands to find a good group of male friends. Also, I would love to hear from the wives how they have found their 'tribes' when moving to a new location. Love your channel!

[@glockguy4127]

I'd give you two thumbs up if I could.

[@horustwohawks]

This would make an excellent thread over at the WPSN forums. Appreciate your comment here.

[@eldanno5970]

There’s a saying, happy wife happy life and that 100% works the other way too. It’s in a relationships best interest to encourage your partner to have a solid group of friends and a few outlets that don’t always involve our partners 👍👍👍

[@helenkessler6012]

We got adopted in by our new neighbors. Been to lots of feast meals with at least 45 of their relatives. They've helped us build buildings pour concrete brought us free pipe water tanks fences welding jobs. Best move ever! Growing big love for my village.

[@taxat10n1sth3ft]

My man's band of brothers moved all over the country last year and I have been telling him he needs to find a new group but he refuses.

[@PatriotOutdoors]

my wife and I went to church regularly for about 10 years and we didn't meet anyone. we forced ourselves to go to Sunday school as well and I (nearly) instantly had 3 lifelong friends. so important to get into those small groups that facilitate actually speaking to each other.

[@zahktuthalxalyrion6364]

Your story is a common issue in churches. Our own church (I work on staff there) has talked about how some people attend for a long time and was never greeted by a staff member. So we're actively working on creating that community mindset and get to try and make everyone feel welcome as they come in the door!

[@markrobertson9558]

It’s easier in smaller towns and more rural areas , my band is small but it’s a mixed of family and friends that have similar interest from the church and work . Guys and gals who enjoy hunting , fishing to shooting and bring prepared to help each other . Getting our entire families together to not only enjoy each others company but to build the trust that we will be there for each other no matter what!

[@tedcarl5382]

Unless you are a refugee from a state that’s not favorable. It’s easy when you are from the small town and have built in family, etc. Interesting times.

[@phild8095]

@@tedcarl5382 I have to agree. Been in this town for 16 years, retired 3 years ago and started walking my dog. I still get people assuming I'm some homeless guy walking through town. ($1500 purebred hunting dog) I didn't have a kid play sports in town, I did go to a local church, but left when I was found to be too conservative in my biblical interpretation. (Imagine expecting elders to support tithing.)

[@mtnbound2764]

this hits home very much for me. as an adult in a city i didnt grow up in, its very hard to build a band of brothers.

[@ambilaevus7607]

Same here. I'm thinking of retiring early just to go back home (no jobs except local hospital & old folks home) but I get along with most everyone when I go visit .... even ppl I didn't grow up with and don't know well.

[@michaelapplegate117]

Found my band serving with team rubicon. Many other veterans, common purpose helping others and doing good in places that need it. Great show guys. Keep it up.

[@mbagwell2607]

i know so many people that complain they don't have friends but won't do the work to have friends. Its a lot of work to maintain any relationship

[@shanes1112]

Tribal church team member here too. I’m the Senior Pastor there. I have guys I’ve done high risk/3-4 man team mission work in North Africa and other areas with for years. We are very close. We like Jeeps, Tacomas, guns, motorcycles and so we all connect on that level too. Time spent in-person with this small group is not constant because we are all married and have been for anywhere between 7 and 30 years depending on the brother, and we actually like our wives lol. We do stay in contact almost daily however by text etc.

[@cubancavalier3051]

The key to community is intentionality. You can have all the desire in the world to build a community but if the other people are not wanting to put forward the same effort there’s nothing you can do to change that and you’ll fight a futile battle. Intentional community building takes mutual sacrifice to spend time together and take time away from other things. And in todays American culture we pride ourselves in staying busy and it makes it difficult to unplug , slowdown, and connect with people

[@livesmartconstruction9463]

23:49 “someone who would risk their relationship with you to tell you something you don’t wanna hear” Straight GOLD

[@gisellesbikeseat]

Yep. Just recently cost myself a relationship doing this. But the right people appreciate the honesty and use it to improve. Truth is power.

[@kevinl8103]

Oh, man. The timing of this video. I recently sold my house in Nevada, and am moving to Tennessee. I have no family or friends there. My wife and I just want a change of pace (country living). The thought has crossed my mind about leaving the people I know in Nevada, to living in a place where I have to start over. This video made me realize that I'm not alone in thinking it could be difficult, but it's doable. I am a church person. I play drums on my worship team, and hope to join a worship team wherever I land. I LOVE playing drums, and hope to connect with members of a new team. I just found that people in church can put on a "church face" and be different in church than they are outside of church. It takes time to weed those people out and find the people who are straight forward and real on Sunday as well as the rest of the week.

[@DANIELHWANG1]

I feel like I can relate to John in so many ways. I’m an introvert but I’m in sales so my job is talking and meeting with people all day. After my job is done, I just want to crawl into my own space and that’s why I enjoy eating alone. Gives me time to rest and regroup. The rest of my time is spent with my wife, family, church, hobbies, and dog. It’s hard to free up time for the brothers esp since were all spread out far now.

[@Drew-v2f]

I am introvert as well. I do the same thing just differently. A big problem is that the world gets bigger it is more tough to have that group. It seems like we like the world smaller or everything is being moved around too much. I think there is a John Denver song Rocky Mountain High that is in the begging. Was JD an introvert?

[@justinhorrell2251]

It is so encouraging to hear other men be true men warrior and poet

[@Warhawk76]

Man this hits home for me. I have three friends that I have known since the late 80's and went to school with, but we live all over the country. We get together weekly to record a Star Wars podcast, and that is a lot of fun, but I don't see them often. I could really use having them be near. It's tough as an adult...

[@blkdrgn1347]

automotive tuning and aftermarket hobby is another one to meet friends. Everyone, from racing, to street, to off road, to everything in-between.

[@gan5045]

My friends are part of my network but to be a real brother you need to live with that person. Even if it's only one week a year on a camping trip. I've moved a lot and what I do to meet new people is attend things that interest me (farmers markets, volunteering at a food bank, pole dancing class, stuff like that).

[@Warhawk76]

Pole dancing class huh? Sweet!

[@teamja1088]

Thank you for this. After taking off my uniform in 2006, I have not made real friends - tons of acquaintances yes, but I do not believe any of them would stand with me in righteousness as my uniformed band of brothers did all those years ago. This is because all of the people I know now have never served anything greater than themselves (they are all civilians). Updated: I agree with the sentiment at 10:45 - One of the reasons I believe my family has with not being able to truly connect with civilians is they do not champion work or work ethics. Since 2006 I have worked 6-7 days a week for 10-14 hours each day because I enjoy work. My neighbors do call and ask what my family is doing ‘later today’ as they would like to come over and hang out. We say “Sounds great, come on by! We are building furniture, or we are cutting down trees, or stripping the kitchen walls and installing new wiring - always work related things”. The neighbors decide they are not into work and towards the end of the phone call they say they are just going to stay home and watch TV or play video games. My family does not enjoy watching anything on TV (because TV is an indoctrination tool nor do we wish to waste time playing a video game because there are so many productive things we could be doing with our limited time on Earth. We simply do not connect with the civilian populations we have moved into. We too have moved 7 times across 3 states since 2009’s planned economic crash and it is the same story everywhere we go. I always offer my knowledge and skillset to rebuild their crumbling deck, or I offer to help them gut a room and redesign in but that is always too much work the civvies we move next to in every community we move to.

[@sonnytrotter6435]

One thing I am lacking after I retired. THE TRIBE! Need to work on this! Thanks!

[@TheTruthTheWayTheLife-i3h]

Amen brother keep up the great work and honesty I as a man can assure you that most of us if not all love the truth you speak and can fully relate. Much more good done than "harm"

[@bogan4009]

What a great video! Lots of us guys need a tribe.

[@jeffmcentire3779]

John, I need to start spending time with my Christian brothers again. During and after the covid shutdown, I just stopped seeing people. It was like a switch was flipped and I could not flip it back. Thanks for the encouragement to spend time with my friends again.

[@terrythornock6468]

As a 100% Disabled Veteran and Above Knee Amputee, I’ve really struggled over the past two years. I had my 3rd Hiatal Hernia show up in Sep. 2021. It took 18 months to get surgery for it through the VA and the University of Utah Hospital, because they chose to do a Gastric Bypass to fix it permanently this time. My surgery was March 6, 2023 and the head of the Bariatric Program, Dr. Volckmann said my diaphragm had a hole the size of a softball. He had many complications with me and I was in the hospital 5 days. Now Brother, let me tell ya, when they bypass your stomach and give you a new stomach the size of a chicken egg, your life is about to change and I’m still trying to figure out if it’s for the better. I weighed 230 lbs. before surgery. I’m almost 2 months out and I weigh less than 190 lbs. I’m lucky that I’m not in love with food. I’ve always said I’d rather take a pill that gave me all my nutritional needs than than to sit down to a big meal. However, I dearly miss my ice-cream and I miss my sweets!!!! I’m convinced when I die, if I make it to Heaven, they will hand me a nice, 5 lb. bag of those caramel cream candies that have a caramel ring around a cream center!!! Yes Sir, Heaven will serve those right at the gate!!!! Anyway, my health has been so bad, I had to stay home from Church and now I’m just starting to get my carcass going back. I had foot surgery on April 6th to fix a broken metatarsal that healed funky and with this darn boot on my only foot, I can’t drive anywhere. My boot comes off this coming Thursday, so I plan to be in Church next week!!! I feel like I’m hanging by a thread, but it’s still holding my carcass up!!! My clothes don’t fit anymore, so as soon as the boot comes off, I have to go buy some jeans and a couple of shirts! It’s really weird only eating 1/2 a cup of food for a meal!!! Anyway, I agree with you all on this topic!!!! Man is not meant to be alone. We all need a tribe or a Band of Brothers!!!! John is so correct when stating it is so hard to adjust to civilian life. No more structure. No more orders to follow. No more belonging to something bigger than ourselves. No more being part of a team!!!! I’ve been out of the Air Force since 1990 and it still gets to me at times. Like we used to say, the only easy day was yesterday!!!! Excellent briefing John!!!! Keep up the great work!!!! Tango Over and Out!

[@NavyCopMA1]

Retired in 2010 and moved into the civilian world and it has been difficult.. Separated / Divorced in 2013 and have been alone ever since. I have work acquaintances and try to get out a little bit here and there, but haven't found the same level of friends that I had in the military. It's been 10 years on now and I am in my mid 50's now and don't know how to do it anymore so spend a ton of time feeling alone and in a void and, on the flip side, can only handle civilians in short periods... Sucks pretty much...

[@bullheadedgideon1673]

Damn man, I'm sorry to hear that. For whatever it's worth - I'll pray for you 😬

[@minorityvoice9253]

Do a christian retreat for men. Youll find brothers.

[@johnbarron1494]

I'm sorry Stephen, you have got to have a church in your area with a church family that would love to talk with you, feed you, shovel your snow..... I have one that I can't believe how much they love. Please seek the family 🙏

[@TroubleActual]

Same here brother! Handful of bros i talk to but not regularly. Seems like people have checked out of brotherhood. Check out Mighty Oaks Foundation, Chad Robichaux

[@NavyCopMA1]

@@johnbarron1494 I appreciate the responses.. Happen to not be a religious person myself, so not really my scene. I've found that people just aren't invested in others as much as they used to be and I am sure I hold as much fault in being that way as others.

[@Renigade16]

I found my group playing tabletop boardgames every weekend. Now we play games, go to the gun range, go hiking, or go out to lunch every weekend.

[@scottnufer3632]

I'm going to start saying that to people I haven't talked to in a while when they say "How's it going?" Me: "Everything is a disaster. Carry my emotional burdens!"

[@skipsmith9692]

Former military, traveled most of my life, involved most of my life in church, train tactics all the time, my Band of Brothers are who I train with and the men at church. I read the Bible everyday and in spite of all I do I do much alone. I know who I can depend on and those who call on me I am there. I am comfortable being alone, besides not many guys my age can hang. I thoroughly enjoy watching your videos…happy for your success. Keep up the great work and thanks in more ways than you know for sharing the gospel.🙏😇❤️😎

[@donvasquez8789]

Funny thing is that the older I get those are the things I value the most. Having good people that you can depend on and the privilege of having them depend on you.

[@cmcer1995]

Now days I really am rather disconnected since I do not attend church. At one time I must say my church was a primary connection with others. Going to Sunday school, and church services, singing in choir, with occasional get togethers, was on the church security committee for month establishing a security/medical team and eventually served on it. Part of that was also going shooting, eating out, and the in-services were all great activities. Went on mission trips to Mexico. Had a mountain bike group of men that we went out riding 1-2 times a month, went on weekend retreats with men from the church with outdoor activities shooting, climbing, obstacle courses, zip lines, Bible studies, hiking. I also was a member of a mountain club going on hikes, taking courses on climbing ice and high angle rock, cross country skiing, and being in Colorado climbing 14ers and 4-wheeling, high lake fishing, big game hunting, camping. Yeah, that was all good, but then when I had a falling out with one of the pastors at church that was supervising the security team I eventually left the church as well. But church was a great connection, just can't find where to fit in anymore. So here I am commenting some great ideas that are out there. BTW, I needed to see this video.

[@Jennifer-nz2ss]

I'm a woman and feel I have only "work friends "that are not reliable or really there for me. They would not come to my aide if I needed help. So I guess I'm a true loner. It's OK. I trust myself.

[@DrTech-pw2cu]

I don't talk about many off limit / taboo things at work, so how close can they really be?

[@YaYa-ke1zr]

I’m the same way. Somebody should get all the people in this situation together in different regions.

[@BrianOpdenkelder]

Another great video - and I whole-heartedly agree with your perspective on this. Over the course of my life, my best and closest friends have come into my life through CrossFit and martial arts. Any activity that pushes you to be better tomorrow than you are today, helps you become comfortable being uncomfortable, and introduces you to healthy, industrious, like-minded folks, is worth undertaking. “Steel sharpens steel.” I’m not a church-goer, but I grew up in a Christian home, and have always appreciated the strong emphasis on family and community invariably found in Christian congregations. Keep up the excellent work, Warrior-Poets. Your message is both important and timely. Cheers! 🍻

[@davidward6600]

My Church family is also my tribe/band of brothers. Always there for me as I am for them.

[@Kyletamblyn]

John, Kyle here from South Africa. A fellow brother in Christ and a minister of the gospel. Excited for what the Lord has done in WPs but I feel compelled by your own words to call you out as a brother when things are not in line. Your language has gotten progressively less controlled and less Christlike over the last year. I love you brother and so I hope this message reaches you. Let no unwholesome talk come from your mouth brother. May the Spirit help you in this as you continue to walk with Him In Christ Kyle Tamblyn

[@yokomortel6479]

Hopefully I can find a tribe. I’m a single parent, Asian Mom that’s into guns. It’s just hard to make friends, in general. I find that I can’t stand most people 😂 But honestly, I need to make at least 1 friend, to take to the range, because that’s the rule lol

[@rickysand1900]

Is there a local ‘Girls With Gun’ organization/chapter near you? Like minded people most likely.

[@huwhitecavebeast1972]

Should be easy for you, if you will date a white guy. If you only accept Asian men....well good luck lol.

[@yokomortel6479]

@@rickysand1900 Hi Ricky, that’s a good question- I haven’t even thought to look into that. I am having a hard time finding any kind of gun club near here. I’m in Northern CA. Thank you for your suggestion, I will make more of an effort 😬

[@freebirdw6187]

I can't help you, but know that you are AWESOME!

[@g.backwoods2216]

Blatant honesty is as rare as actual Bigfoot footage.

[@WardenWolf]

My band of brothers is scattered across the nation. I have a couple local, however. But these people would stand by my side against all comers.

[@Tokue91]

Here in the Southeast Mississippi, we (my parents, siblings, grandparents, neighbors, and friends) live by a drop in culture. Just show up and walk in. We knock while opening the door. Very involved with our people. As well I can't see any of my neighbors as they live through the woods.

[@huwhitecavebeast1972]

I knew my best friend was trustworthy when I asked him "what would you say if you knew I killed someone?" and he replied: "What do you want to do with the body?"

[@WarriorBongSociety]

WTF? You wanted to sleep with a dead body?

[@johnbarron1494]

I have a church family that is absolutely amazing.

[@StevenPaulFrancen]

Great topic. As we get older it definitely gets considerably more difficult to make new friends that actually become close and highly trusted. This is certainly something we all need to consider in our personal quests to take care of ourselves, our families, and our communities.

[@allenflud]

I have self taught, via KZbin flint knapping, woodcarving, gun safety, and am working on pottery now, but I would love doing it with others. Like I wish I had a group to camp and work on survival skills, shelter building, and cooking out doors. Foraging, gardening, and hunting, are some productive things, that are practical and interesting.

[@reaccionapuertorico]

I saw your tribute Yeager on a different channel. I used to like you a lot. Now I must say, I love you brother.

[@johnkeck1025]

I've never had a tribe. I am also deeply introverted as is my own family, who I haven't spoken to in over 3 years. I have a coworker that I go to the range with on occasion but that is sparce. So to interact with other men feels bizarre and I overthink every little thing and end up being to uptight or to laid-back. To a point where I'm not my self for fear of upsetting my friend and having them ditch me. So I pretty much just avoid the whole tribe thing.

[@chrisbohanon403]

Wow!! I've lived in the same apartment for 17 years!! Most of that time I had a band of brothers. But now I've noticed after the past few years they moved on and the neighbors now just move in and are gone in less than a year! I miss the way it was here!! I mean it was amazing!!! Very small place and we slept with doors open andall trusting with are space!! We could walk in to each others place without even knocking. But now it's so horrible that I won't even take my trash out without being armed and even dry fire a couple times!!!! I live in Portland and what's happening here is absolutely destruction of all that's good!!! I wish more people would realize this is a spiritual Battle of Good and evil! it's not really left or right!! I can't believe how destroyed my city is!!! What I see everyday is just sad!! All beautiful things are under attack now! Such a shame!

[@bendarnell8916]

“If you don’t say no to your kids, you’re a horrible person” YES!!! Thank you for stating the truths that people don’t want to hear.

[@danculleny3761]

John I love your stuff! You should come out to Branson sometime! I work at sight & sound theatres. We do epic bible shows. I know you're into the arts. Would LOVE TO bless you and your family with some tickets.

[@americaspal3165]

Thank you for bringing this up. I have a best friend that’s been there for decades but life changes. I married a family and once my family was getting older he married and now has young kids of his own. They moved 40 miles away and we don’t hang out like we used to. The shoulder to shoulder thing and feelings might fall out along the way perfectly describes our relationship how we let life get in the way. Thank you for this episode and your introverted experiences

[@TereLynHepple]

This is the way. Our old neighborhood has kids playing in front yards & each other's back yards, and several neighbors gather out on one driveway where there's always music, soft drinks & other drinks being shared, sometimes BBQ, footballs tossed down the street, swings on tree branches. We're in North Texas near an elementary & several churches, one of which has an amazing community garden. Another neighbor around the corner manages donated books in a Little Library kiosk on the bike path. Ladies on our street used to gather for "Book Group" which turned into wine night of course. Garages are often open while old friends help with repairs or building things. But we are in the process of moving farther out where we can have a bigger yard with more chickens, homestead stuff. So we're between churches. But we will do what we can to keep getting to know our new neighbors, share BBQ, play music on the patio, and explore local shooting ranges, martial arts, farmer's markets, feed stores, libraries, airsoft, hunting, fishing, 4-H clubs, local festivals, local school board meetings, local town hall meetings, local elections. What else can you do in the country?

[@michaelcummings8744]

The top 5 you hang around. That's your tribe. Period. For better or worse. Choose wisely. Be proactive and keep good boundaries 👍

[@chadmorrison5094]

I agree! Times have changed alotin my 46 years. The right church can be your tribe! My wife and I have that here in southwest VA. I think the hard part of a tribe at church is the inability to recognize that generation gaps can be great.each generation helping the other grow. A great way to fix that difference and come together is getting a prayer warrior group together. An hour of praying one for another or really gathering around and praying forthat person needing help goes along way!

[@ahmedhegazy3716]

John, God bless you brother. What a great topic, that so may people are struggling for not having a tribe. That’s why God created us to live in community and serve one another. You hit the nail on the head.

[@darbovision2672]

I'm a 68 year old, divorced, many years ago, male still working 40. Lived in this area of FL. for 40+ years. I have 1 friend, that probably doesn't count as a "band". :-) I know it's largely my problem but I trust so very few people these days. I don't see many earning trust or anything for that matter. Thanks for the video John.

[@paulpalmer5264]

When I hang out shoulder to shoulder with the other guys it's nice to be in prayer it's nice to be on outreach reaching others for Christ appreciate your video John and all the other guys that are there keep making great videos

[@johnknox6779]

I've moved throughout the south. In every move the one thing that found me friend was driving old VWs or Chevys. Greasers are generally pretty good folk.

[@petesmith147]

Especially hard for me to find a "band of brothers" as a nursing student. There are 19 people in my class, and 18 of them are female. It's next to impossible to find guys, even at a Catholic college. I am part of a group of guys from church, but I never have time to spend with them, and the last time I did see them, the de facto leader of the group basically spat in my face and told me I'm a horrible person because I did something he didn't like.

[@SN00PICUS]

I remember those days. I worked as a male RN for about 15 years before I had the chance to get into the PA program. I've also had some trouble with other men not liking what I do for a living. My advice would be to ignore them. They don't pay your bills and they can't argue that your income isn't good. I have had much better luck making friends with Doctors and Surgical Techs since becoming a PA. My best friend now is an Old Vietnam DevilDoc that's about half crazy, lol. The Doc has been teaching myself and a few others how to handle medical emergencies in sub-third world conditions with very limited modern resources. We all figure our medical skills will only be useful in a SHTF situation if we are actually able to apply the skills with whatever resources are on hand. Just keep yours eyes open man. Ignore the asshats and you may have fewer friends, but you will have higher quality friends. Best of luck

[@carissacantwell9355]

Realize it may not be the same but don't discount female friends. Granted, if married, must be aware of the dynamics but some of us ladies enjoy shooting, hunting, etc the same as the guys.

[@jeremyrobertson3752]

Join the knights of Columbus

[@redrustyhill2]

​@Carissa Cantwell ypu are right about one thing, its definitely not the same.

[@petesmith147]

@@jeremyrobertson3752 I actually just did last Sunday. I am now a third degree Knight

[@joeb2526]

John mentioned it briefly but it’s something worth noting. Being the boss or in any type of leadership adds more difficulty to this equation. Everyone knows that leader ship is a lonely place because you don’t want to get too close to people you might have to discipline or not discipline, and be accused of favoritism. The higher up in whatever organization you belong to you achieve the fewer and fewer peers you have, and in today’s society if we spend a large portion of our time at work. I think that’s why being involved in organizations outside of work especially the church is so important. This was a great episode. I hope you continue to put out content like this.

[@Fireworks_are_Awesome]

I’ll have to watch this one a few times. Too many good points to absorb in half an hour. Very very well done men. I appreciate all the insight, and the way y’all communicate in a meaningful way. Thank you !

[@BirdDogey1]

I retired in my late 50s and moved out of state. It is very hard to "make friends" . I'm active in some things but these are people I'm friendly with but not friends. I lost my work friends. This created a huge void. Very involved in church but my denomination does not lend itself to socialization. It's an odd place to be in life.

[@mean45acp]

Don't feel like you are alone in this. I am in the same boat. Left the Marines decades ago. Retired, moved back to my home town. Have people I am friendly with, but NO FRIENDS. My BROTHERS from the Corps are few left. My BROTHER is my youngest son.

[@BirdDogey1]

@mean45acp Prior service too. My son is on active duty year 5. Told him to stay in. Don't think he will adjust well to the sudden loss of all friends.

[@mean45acp]

@@BirdDogey1 It is not an easy adjustment, that is for sure. Please THANK HIM for his service from my and my family.

[@paulkuzupas2993]

Bravo!!! I am a man who lives alone. I realized that I have a band of brothers. Truly. I will not take that for granted anymore. I will actually and knowingly engage better. Thank you guys!

[@David-hy9ni]

Love my church, but challenging to find my band of brothers. I thought I did but the pandemic exposed extreme fear and that armor of God had suddenly disappeared. I took my armor, (reluctantly) and moved on. Still loving my God and attending Church. Thanks John. God bless you and the Family, and the WPS Crew.

[@007Chancellor]

I feel ya, John. I love my horses. People not so much. And I live in a VERY rural setting, so I'm not bumping into anyone to make friends anytime soon. But I have made a few since moving here to AZ three years ago. The folks that own the local little gun shop. A gentleman I bought a horse from and go riding with occasionally. A handyman that I hired for a few odd jobs and now I go shooting with once a month. AND a couple of other cool guys that shoot a little local Defensive Pistol match. We don't "hang out" much. But you can pretty quickly judge whether someone is "band of brothers" worthy or not.

[@jasonwheat5242]

My dad always said friends and family will screw you first and harder than a total stranger and then expect you to forgive them! I have found that to be true!

[@paultiki9968]

I sorely miss my college buddies. I do keep in touch but it isn't the same. fortunately were older and have a lot of the youthful stupidity behind us, but it was good to know that I had friends who would, quite literally, smack the crap out of me when I was on a stupid path.

[@Brian_Combs]

As far as Church I have found as a Catholic that Men's Clubs, Knights of Columbus and such have good solid traditional masculine men with shared values. I also have found guys in a running club, crossfit and other clubs.

[@justincarwile1663]

Here in Virginia in 2020 with the pending AWB legislation, many counties formed militias. I am fortunate to be part of one of these organizations and we still over 100 members and have ~40 folks still getting together and training monthly. It was a great way to meet people of similar interest while training on firearms, medical, disaster response to give back to the community.

[@adamccurdy]

I agree. I am part of a tribe here in nc called mens alliance. Its a faith based mens group There are chapters all over the country. We do a weekly rugged outdoor workout followed by a devotion around a fire.

[@toneydavis9802]

I have a band of veteran sons and daughters helpfully raised by a prayer warrior wife. All led by the ultimate warrior..Jesus Christ! None will abondon and one has already died for me.

[@NHlocal]

"I am an introvert, severely introverted....." I appreciate you sharing that John. I am also extremely introverted. I admit that I am a bit jealous listening to you all talk about having a band of brothers. I attend a church that I served in and strove to have that "band of brothers relationship" you are describing. I "bared my soul" to a group of men but "stuff" happened(that nobody needs to know about) and I was completely destroyed spiritually. I am so very grateful I have a wife that deeply cares for and loves me. I really do appreciate you sharing that John, thank you.

[@crfogal67]

What you said. Church, martial arts, community gardening, side jobs, neighborhood watch group, shooting, ham radios, first responders, volunteer firefighting, neighborhood sports, and kids playing together, old crafts and trades that generate extra income and networks, symbiotic business relationships.

[@strongocho]

This is why I joined the Proud Boys. I am a USMC vet and since my EAS in 2010 have been missing the comradery and brotherhood of military and having people to your left and your right to depend on. I met some guys that seemed cool, went to a few meets, and here I am a couple years later with great men I can call my brothers and I know would have my back 8 days of the week and I would do the same. We are always running charities and community service and within the brotherhood are a safety net of thousands of men in almost every developed country in the world you can call on if in need. I have traveled the country and every state have dozens of guys to check in with and have instant brotherhood. I am going to Manila next week and hoping to link up with some brothers over there. Might even reach out to the tokyo chapter and have a beer with them on my layover 👌

[@dant1239]

How has it been after Jan 6th, I know the media has been trying to label the proud boys as terrorists, extremists... etc

[@thewordman6013]

My biggest thing about a band of brothers, and John touched on this but finding people I trust. My Brothers in my beloved Corps are the ones I truly trust.

[@bldlightpainting]

Throughout much of my life girls were my best friends, so I guess it's no big surprise I married one, who is my BFF, and that was 37 years ago, and we're only growing closer each and every day.

[@seansnyder6421]

i think it'd be great to touch on the different age groups. i thought of it myself as a 22year old straight out of college and working full-time(remote) and i see a lot of other comments touching on it as most of us are moving to new places, or back home and without families/partners. i genuinely don't think this topic is touched on enough though, but y'all nailed it on the head - church, training(gym/martial arts/shooting, etc), and hobbies that involve being side-by-side

[@hallejuahhour3348]

It's been quite sometime but bowling was a clean fun good way to meet with a group of men. You can look for a league to join or start your own, fishing and car shows. You don't have to by you have meet up groups online for people that are into collections and find out when they are having meetings.

[@dewaynehug1]

Awesome show… the only thing that I would add (even though implied). It takes intentionality and isn’t easy.

[@genegene3348]

Moved many many times in my life. Made friends instantly, good friends, and still keep in contact with many. Death seems to be the main winnowing process. Unless you are very deliberate in your choice of where to live, your neighbors are never going to be your band of brothers or tribe. I have found if you become the neighbor everybody knows and becomes comfortable with; anytime SHTF whether it be natural disaster or gangs etc. You become that neighbor everyone looks to to stand in the line of fire assume the risk to protect the neighborhood. Thats why i live in rural TN. surrounded by family.

[@salninethousand2496]

I've made a few friends as an adult - it's started with a common activity, and then went from there. Have also done that a bit with jobs (of which I've had many). All told, made maybe 5 legit friends in 30 years, though many many acquaintances. I had a "tribe" of 6 from when we were teens (I'm now age ~50) but left that group a few years ago finally realizing that values and interests were not in sync (one of my best life decisions).

[@larrymartin4824]

That's exactly true. Serving together with others at church builds relationships.

[@frankbarbagallo9399]

Great talk guys! I found that serving in church with like minded friends is a great way to start. I have lifelong friendships and eat out with them and fish with a few. And enjoy the range together shooting the guts out of stuffed animals and Santas!😊

[@frankbarbagallo9399]

Ps. Love your talk show and guest!

[@prominence2826]

Man, I’m an only child and I’ve never had true real friends that I can count on for anything. However, I now have a boyfriend who is the best in the whole world, is extremely committed to me and would do anything for me. He has 2 brothers and many cousins who would all stand up for me and our family. He’s also a Sikh and I’ve learned about his religion, and now I’m known in that community a bit and have people there that I can count on. It feels so good to have a tribe that is full of the most solid, genuine, and good people that I can rely on for anything. So blessed to have a tribe, I used to feel as though I could do anything by myself, but now I know what it’s like to have strength in numbers. A lot of us are strong and can handle ourselves, so it’s nice to just be part of a strong tribe where you feel like you can take on any threat or any challenge.

[@bradwilliams1869]

Yup! Making excellence a necessity!

[@Renatiux84]

One of the things I miss about the military is the brotherhood and the tribe we had. Have been looking for it for a long time now.

[@jrussell76]

A band of brothers is different then a band of friends. Now your brothers can be your friends and should be, but the difference is brothers are family. And family is bound by blood, which should promote loyalty and commitment to one another. When you find someone who is willing to shed their blood and give their life for you if need be, and the same goes for you in regards to them; that is family, since you have that "blood" tie to one another. That is one reason why military and first responders consider each other brothers or family. You didn't choose each other, but you will be there for each other whenever needed, even if it is to the death. Knowing that you have their back and they have yours, no matter what, that is what binds brothers. Now if you are going to find these brothers, you have to be willing to step out and be there for others. You can't just be a receiver if this selfless act. Start with places or organizations who are doing things for others. Get involved. Find people there who are wholly committed to others, serve with them, and get to know them. Get to know their needs, help them with their needs, and be there in their time of need.... now you have another brother.

[@guardiangibbs2663]

I've gone to the range with this one dude at work a few times. That's a start.

[@nolanadler262]

The “typical male routine” but definitely hit the nail on the head. Also, the description of the friend that should be part of your tribe motivates me to to reconnect with a buddy that I haven’t heard from in a few years. He’s the guy that would tell me the hard truth and punch me in the nose to keep me from screwing up.

[@darrellmartin9803]

John and Guys. Excellent video, covers soo much great stuff! Our young generation needs to adhere to your points. Myself, I have been guilty of some of your points I have grown to be come a better person. Thanks so much for what you do at Warrior Poet. God Bless!

[@rangergreen1776]

I have thinking about this a lot lately. I had a tribe, but most of them have moved away the past several years. I’ve been realizing I need to branch out and make friends again. And I agree that church is a key place to do that. If you agree on the fundamentals of the faith and are both seeking to be better Christians, you are bound to agree on a lot more

[@Fallen_Prophet]

Some great points here. I live in a very densely populated area and I only have one neighbor I really interact with on a regular basis.

[@bldlightpainting]

I found the best way to make new friends as an adult is to get to know those who you attend church services with, because hopefully, they already share many of your most important values.

[@BTinc2572]

I had an incredible tribe when I was a patrol officer. My work squad was very close - we did everything together. Worked together, played together, laughed and cried together. When I got a new job with another agency in another city, that changed. Lost my tribe. Huge regret except that I met my wife after my move. I agree that guys develop a tribe side by side vs face to face. A common mission - especially a physical “doing something” works best to develop that tribe. I’m also an introvert which makes this harder.

[@Art_thr0b]

I'm in that family man life now, my kids 2 and I've got that mindset to come home close the garage and be with the fam. I try to hit the range for depressing on top of online activities but that's where it stays.

[@TheInfantry98]

Gotta suck to be that old guy that turns his back on his friends cuz he’s a family guy now

[@julianwatts9024]

Funny how we all have such similar experiences yet are somewhat isolated because of the modern grind. Ya have to participate in the local activities you enjoy .

[@008Birdman]

Here’s what I have done. One of my friends that I never hung out except once was talking about not having a BoB. We started a Bourbon, Cigars, & Bible Study. If it was cold no cigars but we always have a glass of bourbon. I’ve got 8 - 10 close guys now. We chose a night that worked and it has been great. Some have moved away, one passed away. But it has been a tight group for 4 years now. Each of us knew at least 1 or 2 guys we could ask that liked either cigars bourbon or the Bible. We grew our group that way.

[@brettelizabethspore]

Another excellent video. Enjoying WPSN with the full videos!