Answering VERY SPECIFIC Questions About Lolita Rules

[@papkinn]

Western lolitas: Noo you can't wear this it's ita nooo Asian brands: Haha animal ears cute

[@sarinabina5487]

ahajsksjsh

[@amberscrafting148]

Actually right now a Taobao Lolita brand collab with a furry ear brand with a dress called Hunter & Thistle. The furry ear brand comes out a wolfy ear which is a official head piece for the dress. The dress is a non print hunter style dress and Asian community gives 0 fxxk about that.

[@raccoonchild]

I guess you mean 痛い itai (cringe in this context), right? It doesn't make sense to call something 'ita'... Is this bastardized/westernized Japanese?

[@abimayoii572]

@@raccoonchild no ita is a slang in lolita that's basically like "painful to look at

[@raccoonchild]

@@abimayoii572 That just proves my point that it's butchered Japanese...

[@theletters9623]

I think the black shoes with the white dress works for Alice because she has a black ribbon in her hair, so it balances it out a bit better

[@olivia6252]

With the ears question, I feel like if you have a nonprinted main piece and you want to add a theme in you could do like bunny ears, a bunny bag, and shoes or socks with a bunny theme and that would balance it out well.

[@pinkyflavor9107]

I actually did that lol it was super fun but I got criticism for it. However that didn't stop me from enjoying the day I dressed up.

[@ysodora8030]

Honestly, I have seen plenty of kawaii fashion pieces that use animal ears on hoods for like a bunny poncho or bear hoody or something and that makes me associate ears with really warm and fluffy fashions. I can totally see a cohesive coordinate styled with animal ears and a theme of warm fluffy and wintery vibes working really well.

[@TI3RU]

i think with the balance for black shoes in a pastel outfit, there’s a “rule” in character design called the “60-30-10 rule”, where colors and shapes etc should be balanced into 60% of the design (the main “base”), 30% (details/companion colors), and 10% (the highlight of the design). usually it’s best to save that 10% for the focal point of the character (usually that ends up the hair or the eyes), but can also work here for focal pieces (wig/hair color, jewelry, makeup, etc.) if you want to add black shoes to a light design but don’t want them to stand out, consider adding enough black in other areas to remove it from the 10% category and into the 30%, through adding a black wig and black purse or something.

[@satunbreeze]

Omg this put into words what I was already thinking! Thank you so much!!

[@nanamiharuka3269]

i don’t know if this would work, but even adding a bit of the main coordinate color to the shoes would probably help in the form of shoe accessories like ribbons, buckles and shoe laces if possible.

[@sasak369]

I always feel like there needs to be a sort of balance between the top and the bottom half of an outfit, if that makes sense? Like if there's a high contrast color in an outfit, I always feel it's best executed if it's somewhere in the bottom half of the outfit (elements of the skirt, socks, shoes, maybe purse, etc) and the top half (blouse, headpiece, elements of the bodice, etc). That's usually what just makes me feel like the colors are balanced in a coord.

[@Rileyw239]

This! She even mentioned the Alice and wonderland reference and you look at the character design for her, she does have black shoes with a light dress BUT she also has the black ribbon in her hair to balance it out so that the yellow of her hair ends up being the 10% rather than the black. And I think it works perfect having them on opposite sides of the body because it brings in some balance as well.

[@talithacrow7530]

Would it work with black hair and perhaps black buttons on a blouse? I just got my first lolita piece and I'm so excited to style it but I don't want to buy shoes I won't wear outside of Lolita

[@honokakirigava7930]

I guess cotton dresses are preferred because cotton itself is comfortable to wear. Even in normal fashion I tend to prefer cotton over any other material.

[@insertacooluserhere_8829]

Same, where I live it’s a hot place and polyester for example, is uncomfy to wear so we wear fresh cotton stuff :)

[@Ilsezwarts]

About being ita or not; so I dont wear make up in lolita. Theres a lot of people who classify it as ita and I understand why. But there are a lot of reasons why I do not wear make up, but the most important one is that I just dont want to. There are too many cons with it for me, but that doesnt mean i want to give up lolita. I love the clothes, not the make up. It does influence the way I coord my outfits; I am overall more casual and I tend to avoid wigs, since your face can get lost if you dont wear make up with those. But in the end I dont care if people find me ita bc i dont wear make up, bc I wear lolita for me, not for them.

[@mizushimma]

I also don’t usually wear makeup in lolita, mostly because I wear lolita just about everyday to work and ain’t nobody got time for that lol. I don’t think it’s ita at all, especially if your doing casual looks and no one has ever told me otherwise when I was in a coord.

[@olivia6252]

Not wearing makeup is totally valid esp if youre someone who wears lolita in your daily life to run errands. I personally dont feel comfortable without at least some eyeliner and concealer, but there's no need for it if you don't want to

[@Ilsezwarts]

@@mizushimma oh I have definitely gotten ita comments before lol xD

[@LookingForFrogs]

Noone will force me to put make up on when I wear a several hunderst dollars outfit that's really streasful to wash, I cant trust myself with not getting in transfered everywhere.

[@evat267]

same!!

[@renhyde1447]

I actually think the realistic wolf/cat (not sure what they were supposed to be) would look really nice with a fairy tale inspired coord. I realize you were speaking more for sweet which is why you showed more sweet lolita accessory examples for ears but with a coord that maybe has a more realistic art style for the print I think a like "big bad wolf" look would be really cute.

[@devinbaggs7542]

That's a really cool idea

[@kagitsune]

Omg that would be so cuuuute. Or even a Red Riding Hood inspired coord, except *she* is the wolf 🐺😍

[@jerrypie1230]

yes this!! also for gothic lolita like a black cat coord could be very cute imo i get that lor wears a lot of sweet herself and probably therefore mostly sweet comes to her mind with things like this but there are soo many styles to lolita that i find it a little sad that she doesn't at least mention them sometimes :/

[@arriannaniv]

I have a skirt that kinda screams background character in wonderland. It’s cream with desaturated rainbow stripes (1-3 colors then cream. And they alternate direction.) nice cotton fabric. Even has a hidden zipper. and I fell in love with it. It feels like since that world is so whimsical and talking animals are everywhere.. how mismatching artfully suits it. I personally feel the realistic cat ears could work if they have a whimsical flair. I got some recently in lavender (my favorite color and I’m pretty much throwing it on every outfit that doesn’t clash.) they also have little lavender flowers that look like they are growing out of them. Seems like a perfect whimsy match.

[@gooses7315]

I feel like every single EGL 'rule' has a ton of exceptions, so basically do whatever you want as long as you're not buying from Milanoo.

[@noface2252]

For the black shoes / light dress question, wrt visual balance: all of the models in the examples you showed are wearing dark hair with their coords. Even Alice is wearing a black ribbon in her hair to balance out her shoes. I think this can be a good rule of thumb for pairing dark shoes and light coords -- visually balance shoes with something dark on the head or shoulders, like hair or a headpiece, or a blouse or cowl.

[@emiwy_]

its unfortunate to be afraid to post coords online. there's a lot of fatphobic people in the community and it's just non stop lately so I wish fears of looking ita was my only fear. even if it's on your own comm page people find it and then make their own hate thread it's just really disheartening

[@LookingForFrogs]

That's so sad to hear, I love to watch cords by plus size lolitas, that's the look of real determination, you need to be much more resourceful and smarter than if you happened to be a size that fits into what most brands offers.

[@mangogo44]

Personally I think that true "ita" is when you don't do your research and don't follow the "lolita silhouette" (as in not having a right shape and length of a main piece). As long as you fully understand what you are experimenting with and why, it's not "ita" it's a style. But that's just me. TL;DR: "ita" is not about not following the rules, "ita" is about not wanting to learn about them/not respecting the fashion

[@TaylaKrueger]

I just personally like neko ears, the well made ones that are almost art pieces (air brushed and all that jazz) but i feel scared to wear my nice ears with coords because i dont want to be seen as an ita with cheap cat ears. Its a hard line to cross and the only lolita 'rule' im afraid to break on the internet.

[@WhattheBeck]

same ;-;

[@devinbaggs7542]

I hear you. I think lolitas (not all, just in general) just really want to avoid being associated with anime neko-maids, and then there's the whole thing where everyone looks down on furries :( I love high quality neko ears (or other animals!) though, and I wish they were more accepted.

[@ThucNguyen-si2rf]

honestly if the internet has taught me anything, its that there will always be asswipes trying to bring anyone and everyone around. From what I see, lolita and other fashions are supposed to bring you happiness! So please do not listen to people who have the fashion equivalent of the 95 Theses and do what your heart seeks out! Lolita fashion was never supposed to be a fashion with stringent rules. The pandemic's hit everyone, might as well dress for yourself ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ dress up in things that make you confident!

[@SaraTen]

I made a pair of bear ears to match my dress. I folded them a bit more than I had originally wanted so I'm making a second flatter pair. But I still have fabric/fur left over so I could make more ears too. Probably to gift/sell. BUT THEN I thought WEAR ALL THE EARS!!1! lol Like some Foureyed multi-eared Cthulhu like creature...yes.

[@GrayeIra]

Beautiful

[@AnnaMorimoto]

I would love to see this. My imagination is going wild.

[@FrancyKanae93]

Personally, I associate shiny fabric with Party City, I can't help it. But I would never try to convince anyone that cotton is better than polyester, because cotton fades over time. There are downsides to that as well, you can ask Sugary Carnival enthusiasts about their ghostly-evanescent jsk's

[@naurrr]

dude yes I had a 2011 I think second release sugary carnival, it was lavender. I think I owned it back in 2014 and even back then it was hella faded for some reason. I was pretty disappointed but I did pay a good price for it at least and I managed to resell it for about as much as I paid. oh well. edit: I just remembered I owned daydream carnival tiered JSK in lavender and even though it was only five or six years after it came out and it wasn't worn very much, it was still hella faded!!! wtf

[@sillyveevee]

I personally really like the look of the black Mary Jane styled shoes with pastel Lolita fashion 🤷‍♀️ I think it gives a really classic vibe, maybe it is because of Alice in wonderlands influence? Idk I’ve always thought it looked really cute since black Mary Jane’s are a very classic and innocent looking girls shoe that you see in older fashions in Europe etc, although I do think darker hair with this look would tie it together nicely

[@NoiseDay]

I LOVE black mary janes (and Alice), so I fully support the shoe with pastel or really any style.

[@loridarkpool3631]

I'm in the black goes with everything camp and find black shoes with pastels super cute. Also I would wear animal ears with prints with no animals on it. I would balance it but... I personally don't see a problem with it.

[@citrouille6642]

I definitely like the black shoes with pastel coords, though I’m a gothic lolita., so.

[@Bicth97]

Not sure what is meant by it being ita. like does it mean it doesn't fit the rules of sweet lolita, or it looks bad and is cringe?

[@lemonoujia4534]

I feel it's about the balance of black to the rest of the outfit. Too much black on what's supposed to be a more pastel fit can offset the vibe, but accents can do wonders

[@raccoonchild]

@@Bicth97 I'm guessing it's butchered Japanese. 痛い (itai) means painful but also cringe/embarrassing.

[@JalleLive]

I'm transguy who tried to do lolita back in the days when I was still guestioning my identity. I was definitely ita, I couldn't afford actual dresses or proper accessories. I got more information and if I was to come back I would have invested by saving with time and such but dresses are not my thing anymore. Now, I'm interested of trying out ouji style but I need to collect even more information when it comes to it. I don't really have friends or mutuals from the community anymore (I have like one lolita friend who isn't active anymore) so I need to start from zero. But in the future, after saving money and getting proper information I would want to do it! I definitely see my style having the realistic animal ears (specifially maned wolf ears, and tail, see my icon) as it's part of my persona of how I would see myself if we had no limits, and then I would try to make the colour pallette work on the clothing and accessories. I agree with it looking more natural if human ears are hidden but.. I don't think I could be able to hide them lmao Good video, Lor! Keep doing amazing content 💜🏳️‍🌈

[@boogla5424]

I literally just turned on notifications for Lor and I immediately get notified w a new Video LMAO

[@ArchaeologyMonster]

The more I dip into today's EGL 'community' the more I miss the EGL as it was when I got into it in the 90s. It was so inclusive - nobody gave a crap if you were wearing a brand, and in fact it was much more prestigious to make your own. Today it seems like a collector's club where all focus is on the designer brands and those in older or handmade dresses are mocked. There were no rules - you wore what made you happy. Here I am, just a grumpy old EGL pining for yesteryear. Having lived years in Japan and known the original culture that EGL grew in, today's community is daunting, toxic, and inaccessible. This 'ita' concept is utter garbage; when you wear what makes you feel perfect, you're doing it right. I cannot imagine someone calling me 'ita.' I would put them on blast so hard. A community that makes a special word for mocking or insulting seems terribly unfriendly and daunting. I'm not attacking or anything - the video actually echoes a lot of my "so what makes you feel right" sentiment. Like I said, I'm just a mid-1990s EGL lamenting the good ol' days. XD

[@AKA253]

“Ita” seemed to also just start out as a term for beginner and now some people use it as an insult... I think Lor put it well, everyone starts somewhere. I’m only 18, but I always love dipping into the history of trends- Lolita fashion and style included. You’re right, it seemed to start out inclusive of different styles. I think it might be becoming a hierarchy to certain lines of lolita clothing, not to mention trying to find a plus-sized yet quality petti, lol.

[@ArchaeologyMonster]

@@AKA253 I can see that! The problem I have with 'ita' being used at all is that it's an expression of pain. If I stubbed my toe, I'd yell 'ita,' it's like saying 'Ow!' The interpretation in using it as the EGL community does is that you look so bad it hurts to gaze upon you... That is not the community I grew into EGL/EGA with. It shocks me to hear it come from what I knew as an inclusive and welcoming community.

[@noellebartley]

Love this video! Covered concerns I had as well. Something that would be awesome to touch on in your guidelines video is calling out how those in Japan are definitely more experimental than the rest of the world at this point but the movement to preserve the original fashion is important as well. I would love to go blouse-less for some summer meets but I cannot help but feel I would be judged or seen as ita, even though it might actually be more acceptable in Japan.

[@PunkHime89]

With the large amount of shots by designers wearing jsk's without blouses, I would think it should fall in the same category as animal ears... now acceptable for certain cords.

[@biguattipoptropica]

I'm sure you have but have you considered a chemisette as a compromise? They don't have sleeves but they're cooler than a blouse.

[@FrancyKanae93]

I feel that most of the niche sub-styles within lolita and general alt fashion were born because someone in Japan experimented with various elements. Experimentation often leads to trends and sometimes to a whole ‘nother sub-style. That is ultimately the reason why people still care about street fashion snaps and the Japanese scene: if they can come up with new ideas and be this creative, heck, I think we are allowed to own the fashion and play with it.

[@HaldjasHelina]

Interesting video idea. I feel like this could be a series, because I feel like there are plenty of very specific questions like that that actually come up A LOT in places like Rufflechat and Big Sisters of Lolita.

[@LovelyLor]

I no longer use Facebook and I wouldn’t want to take anyone’s topics from groups since they might not want to be in a video even if anon BUT if anyone wants to email me more specific questions I’d be glad to do more videos like this! [e-mail]!

[@anotherdepressedbottom8659]

Semi related, I remember in the Loveless anime/manga all the nekos had human and cat ears because apparently in that universe you lose the cat ears later in life

[@katja3120]

From my understanding they lose the cat ears when they lose their v-card. I think they joked about the teacher still having her ears a lot, but I watched it many years ago so I'm not 100% sure.

[@thatonejellifish1563]

@@katja3120 HELLO???

[@Tenko72]

@@thatonejellifish1563 Katja is right. Only virgins have cat ears in Loveless.

[@raccoonchild]

@@katja3120 Love these kind of premises that give potential for so much social conflict and trauma, the writer side of me finds this stuff so much fun to play with and as a reader it's even more fun to observe the psychological mess unfold 🙏

[@aldaramosqueira3749]

Hello Lor! Have a nice day!

[@Stink3rz]

When marine was there such a great movie

[@pinkyflavor9107]

I remember showing my first coordinate with a lolita community and they criticized me for not wearing a wig but my natural hair 😶

[@Pauleypauley7]

Wow, what a bunch of losers

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

3:11 for me, I think it depends on the undertones of the black but also more importantly what’s available. If you can only afford one pair of lolita shoes, something like black is usually a safe bet cuz “black goes with everything” but also it won’t be as easily stained as white or pink. I think it would just e something that dependent on how much it clashed or not

[@brayermoth]

The more I learn about Lolita the less attainable it feels. I was in love with it when I was younger

[@devinbaggs7542]

It doesn't have to be. Lor's other vids have some great advice for starting out. I don't fit in any standard-size dresses so I had to save for several months to get my first piece, but if your body shape is more "normal" then you can find full sets on lacemarket for not terrible prices (unless it's Angelic Pretty, that stuff is going for big dollars right now :P)

[@lumiepop5049]

Lolita is more accessible than ever! If you want advice I'd be happy to give some!

[@brayermoth]

@@lumiepop5049 I loved it as a little girl and now as an adult man I struggle. It's just hard to reconcile drifting away from something I fell so in love with. It's not that Lolita isn't accessible. I'm just not that little girl anymore. I still love it, just feels more like a thing kids dream about not a thing I can actually do. I'm sorry to everyone if this was a horrible place to say this or if it's uncomfortable in any way.

[@brayermoth]

@@devinbaggs7542 I'm big and transmasc. I tried to explain a little more in the comment before this one. I've followed Lor for a while now so I'm no stranger to her beginner oriented content. It's hard to describe I guess. Sorry for the inconvenience

[@devinbaggs7542]

@@brayermoth Ah, I understand. Thanks for explaining!

[@millie209]

I feel like I'd be called ita no matter what because I refuse to follow the rules to a T with a fashion unless I like all those rules. I'm not going to hold my style back because it "breaks rules". That feels extremely limiting and constrictive. If I want to wear a lolita inspired coord that breaks the "rules" . I will.

[@NoiseDay]

I'd either make a new term for my sense of style or reclaim "ita" with pride. It's like making fun of people who call things ita when they personally don't like it. Feels a little like lolitas never heard of decora or other fashions that honestly overlap a lot in taste.

[@OliviaMadelyne]

I don't wear Lolita, but found this video super interesting and informative! I love fashion and learning how people style Lolita pieces, textures, colours, prints, and themes, so more specific videos like this are great!

[@hollischeblume6393]

oh, I watched one random Lor video I got on my main page and now I'm wondering how to convince my mom into letting me buy stuff from other countries

[@lynndoesntexist]

I just saw this! Wanted to let you know that you’re so pretty and precious and I love your dresses!!

[@yli386]

I love this kinda circus lolita coord

[@naurrr]

sometimes I wear like those higher quality cosplay ears but in colors to match my coord. 🤷🏻‍♀️ im a veteran lolita of like 8 years at this point. i am cringe but i am free lmao

[@vanillabananacrepe]

i have a pair of brown mary jane kind shoes, it was my mom's, it's my safe lolita shoe. and a grey classicism era siluette, it will look good with other elegant styles like mori orlight academy.

[@Arcuied]

Since you’re touching on the topic of cotton vs polyester/other types of fabric, please touch some day on the Xianjiang cotton controversy. Long story short, Xianjiang cotton is sourced using slave labor. Many brands sourced their cotton from Xianjiang (including Chinese Lolita brands) but some decided to stop due to this controversy. I feel like some lolitas too easily complain about polyester and want cotton back without reflecting how or why a brand would change and where the material they want actually comes from.

[@hel117]

I think the black shoes work, but it might help to pair them with accessories that bring a bit more of that black up into the rest of the coord, to help it look more balanced.

[@DetectiveNyx]

i have a couple of shiny wa lolita dresses in my wardrobe, but the shiny fabric is definitely not low-budget-y costume fabric. it's definitely satin, but it's not a cheap satin, and the dress is proper lolita (i think? most lolitas i've shown the dress to have agreed it fits the style but im very much new to the fashion still). plus there's cats on it and i love cats lol (dress in question is Falling Sakura Normal JSK in the light pink and black colourways by Garden Cat)

[@blake7400]

AERIS???!?! You're a lolita???

[@maritamussner1230]

I am desperately searching for cotton bouses in pink. I don't like to wear polyester blouse e.g. chiffon directly on my body. I also want some with simpler designs that I can wash normally and wear in a casual style.

[@InvaderKayla24]

try searching specifically for cutsews! theyre usually like a t shirt material :)

[@biguattipoptropica]

@@InvaderKayla24 if only cutsews came in plus sizes

[@InvaderKayla24]

@@biguattipoptropica its def one of those things where if you're not a size small you gotta rely on indie brands!

[@fury5500]

@@biguattipoptropica They do if you get them from maxicimam

[@starshine1185]

If you're getting cotton, dyeing a white one is absolutely an option, though you might have to switch out the buttons.

[@str4wberrybunnie612]

genuine question, why are there so many rules? why is it looked down upon to wear animal ears or black shoes? I thought lolita celebrated uniqueness and wanting to dress for yourself instead of for others. can someone explain why there is so much gatekeeping and so many rules in a hobby that's about self expression? I just wanna wear bunny ears and whatever makes ME happy. am i not lolita if i decided to break these nitpicky rules? :(

[@spacekatart9927]

It's mostly westerners who decided to make these rules so strict- it's also westerners who act classist and ableist when someone can't afford a brand dress or wear makeup due to sensory issues. Rules are far less judgemental and strict everywhere else. Wear what you want and if people make fun of you- that only shows that they're too insecure to stray from heard mentality! People should not be shamed for just wearing fun clothes how they want- like if I buy a $300 dress I'm going to wear it however I want and with whatever I want.

[@BecxyBoo]

Is it bad that I think that a lot of the rules for lolita are unecessary and are keeping a lot of people from wearing the fashion in the first place? Obviously there are those rules that are necessary for the fashion such as wearing a blouse a jsk or one piece dress or a lolita skirt and wearing socks/stockings but there are also those rules that I think are just other lolita's gate keeping the fashion so that they can seem like a better lolita and bully those who they see as an Ita.

[@meep7144]

Ok but how about elf ears with lolita?

[@SweetMimicofficial]

i personally think its really cute

[@emiwy_]

if it matches the coord PLEASE WEAR ELF EARS

[@rhearoyality]

That would be classy with a flowy empire waist 😃

[@emiwy_]

You know what even if it doesn’t I think it’s charming tbh

[@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount]

Yes. Especially for more mystical prints like forest prints, but it works for a lot of other things too

[@srbulloa813]

Speaking of shoes ... after having a child No shoes fit me anymore and I can't find cute Lolita shoes that's like a 9.5 /10 my feet went from 8 to 9.5/10 . Anyone have any idea of a website for this big feet?

[@kilometersmorales]

Cotton Candy Feet makes big shoes, and if you’re willing to use Taobao there’s Antaina as well! (For antaina you need to know your Chinese shoe size though.)

[@srbulloa813]

@@kilometersmorales thank you 😊

[@karlina9550]

Angelic Imprint shoes come in bigger sizes. I'm an EUR 40/41

[@Francescosplays]

I think black shoes won’t kill sweet lolita but it’s best when you have black in the print or some black accessories like wrist cuffs

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

9:39 I’ve seen some really good coordination of animals ears, horns, etc in lolita so I think a lot of it has to do with styling and coordination

[@rottenblue5049]

serious question, but how much of being labeled an ita is based on the criticizer's tastes verses guidelines that make or break your coord? In my understanding, if it looks complete , good, and has the general silhouette of lolita, it should be acceptable.

[@goddessneptune]

Bear doll isn’t a print dress but it’s called this as there are bear ears on the bodice and there’s a detachable bear tail in the back. Actually for me it’s the perfect level of bear, and I haven’t worn it yet but have my bear ears ready for when I do!

[@Bunihime]

If i can’t wear bunny ears as an lolita then i don’t wanna be one

[@maryecho9215]

My go-to shoes are brown because they match my hair & I'm mainly country lolita I only have one pair of shoes tho, theyre so hard to find here! I can't order any shoes because I need to make sure they're not gonna kill my feet and flare medical issues. I'm really focused on shoes right now because honestly, if I don't have cuffs or a headdress or accessories, I can just make them yk? not like in a braggy way i just mean if i have an accessory in mind and cant find one locally, ill just like... crochet or sew something simple that gives off the vibe. i cant make shoes tho

[@alexwillis-paulsen4597]

My opinion on black shoes is that whether it comes off as "ita" or not will come down to intentionality. If you're wearing them because you're new and it's all you have, it might not work with the coord at all. If you're wearing them because you like them with the coord and you incorporate them with intention, they'll probably look good. This applies to all sorts of decisions about what can go together. Rules are for people who don't have intuition. edit: I paused the video to write this right before Lor says the same thing. Should have finished the video!

[@lilialobato2611]

I have a question! I love lolita dresses, like loooove looove them but I have wore them all the time without the petticoat cuz its more "casual" looking and it makes me less anxious about being in public, i feel more confident to use them around the office... BUT is that against lolita rules?! is it "forbidden"? or am i just missing some sub-lolita style?!

[@neighbourhoodegglet3231]

If you’re just wearing the dresses in everyday life, you can wear them however you want - your clothes shouldn’t be anyone else’s business, after all. When it comes to actual events, like tea parties, I think it’s a case by case scenario. For example, some older pieces have much smaller skirts or aren’t meant to be worn with a large petticoat (or any for that matter). There are also disabled people who can’t wear them due to sensory issues, having mobility aids, etc. With more OTT styles, though, the lack of a petticoat might be quite jarring or even ruin the “lolita” silhouette. I don’t have much concrete advice, and this is all just my opinion, but I would just say it depends on the situation.

[@moondrinker_]

Honestly the coord your wearing in this video is so cute and reminds me of a scarecrow (I like scarecrows

[@hello.krista]

I think animal ears are ok with non prints and select few unrelated printed dresses kind of like you mentioned about keeping a running theme. Like I would wear bear ears with chocolate rosette or Melty ribbon chocolate and probably pair some bear themed acessories/bag with it but I probably wouldn't wear it with bunny ears because it doesn't necessarily fit the theme (or maybe it would if I could find them in the right color..? 🤔)

[@Jolyneadventures]

I remember years ago i read your twitter that changed me "at 22 i tought i was too old for kawaii and lolita fashion, at 25 i stopped caring" or smt like that. I just turned 22 and i feel like i am too old to wear my kawaii childlike wardrobe ;( But i also feel confortable and cute at the same time dkskskaksjs aaaa

[@Froggiefairy]

I’m yume kawaii, not Lolita, but I totally understand the “getting excited and forgetting to buy staple pieces”. I’m over here with patterns on EVERYTHING and no accessories and nothing matches XD

[@justamediocrewriter3376]

I always wear some form of cat ears, kind of like a signature look? Happy to hear that it wouldn’t be unspeakable to do so in Lolita!

[@vanillabananacrepe]

the four ears thing annoys me too 😩✋ I've seen a lot of alt fashion on tiktok i think that lolita can similarly mixed with other things like animal ears im into animal hats i made bunnyhat, at least in my head it looks good with my coord plans.

[@punpun-3]

Thank you for your video! Due to your channel and your explanations i have learned a lot about lolita and I started dressing in it!

[@agostoangosto9442]

When u said how there's no real life Lolita guide book I laughed beacuse bibelot rose just opened pre-orders for "Lolita 101", a collaborative book on tips for coordinating and other stuff.

[@mashimoon5726]

Is it bad that I love frill monster pieces?

[@biguattipoptropica]

Nah, a lot of those are brand pieces from old school.

[@mochreach429]

I've never really understood the rule of having to wear a matching animal print if you want to wear ears, I don't think it looks bad and I can understand it as a personal preference but to me it feels like wearing clothes with pictures of myself on them.

[@LualaDy]

100% agree with the double ears thing!!!!

[@Kaleidosaur]

2:01 "It's important to not only consume my content, but consume other lolitas....' content" had me worried a moment there >.>

[@CreditR01]

I love your dress in this video, such rich and pretty colors!

[@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount]

Since Lor is answering very specific lolita questions, ask me anything in the replies about decora!

[@xAlecto]

No questions, just hope you have a great day too!

[@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount]

@@xAlecto thank you! Have a great day as well ^^

[@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount]

@Mars From Space personally, I have never been compared to scene. I have seen decora being compared to kidcore before and that does get on my nerves. For people wondering, here is a quick sum of the difference: Decora- an alternative subculture that falls under harajuku fashion based on the fashion. Usually seen in bright colours. Key defined is over the top of over the top accessories, busy and layered clothing. Kidcore- an aesthetic, nostalgic based. The themes are more similar to fairy kei. Usually bright and colourful. The fashion is similar to casual clown fashion. It is an aesthetic and doesn't fall under alternative fashion/music. Scene- an alternative subculture based on music and fashion. Bright colours with some black. Tulle skirts, invador Zim and big floofy straight hair are very key. So is Kandi, scene kids are the main Kandi wearers (other fashions wear it too though) Hope this helped to anyone curious!

[@WhattheBeck]

are there any rules to decora? or general advice for someone wanting to try it?

[@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount]

@@WhattheBeck there aren't rules other then what you think is enough accessories- it isn't! When I was starting out with like 4 necklaces and a few bracelets and 20 hairclips I thought "wow this is so decora I can't go over this ammount of accessories" but that's not true! Keep adding and making things. The most important things is that everyone, no matter age size race gender or sexuality can wear decora, and to keep layering! It's a very fluid style, the only consistent thing is the accessories and the layering. You want to do it in all black? Go ahead! Want to make a full pastel outfit and randomly have black fishnets underneath your adorable socks? Go ahead! It's all what you think is nice. There is one downside, often times the huge accessories that add like half a head to your hair can poke everywhere! Also changing clothes in decora is quite difficult, when I go shopping I kinda have to estimate djdksk Hope this helped a bit! It was kinda all over the place but oh well ^^

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

7:44 I think it depends on the material. If it looks and feels cheap or like a party city Superman cape, prob not the best idea to buy it as it won’t hold up over time and it looks tacky. So it’ll be a waste of money and you might hate how you look in it

[@supremeflagship8965]

I'm not a Lolita, but I think there is one (unofficial/unwritten) Lolita rule - knee length skirt/dress. I've never seen Lolitas with floor length, mini or maxi skirts/dresses.

[@pheebee6294]

I love animal ears, i wear them outside and inside of lolita :) personally prefer more experimental look, having the right siluette with a bit of a "zhuzh" 👌

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

1:51 I haven’t seen to much contradictions in the rules/guides etc for lolita but also I feel like if it feels like lolita then maybe it’s good to take a look at it and see why it feels that way

[@starlightrae1168]

Lovely video!

[@demonninetaledfox]

I have seen a lot of overtly shiny dresses being made by proper brands but I find super shiny fabric is much harder to coordinate and wear to many events. Very shiny material is either, in my mind, very cheap, or for only special occasions, so I wouldn't recommend still that newbies buy very shiny dresses as they might be stuck with dresses they don't know how to wear for most lolita things.

[@ladylibrum7145]

The "two sets of ears" thing I agree with.

[@CaraRowen]

I think ears are cute with coords. Wear what makes you feel joy.

[@dasgrauel]

I've been thinking about making a coord based on one of my characters from a game I play- not a cosplay per-se, but just heavily inspired from. Thing is that they only wear really tall (not in heel) high heels and long skirts. I know long skirted lolita is a thing, but the shoes thing, especially since most the shoe will be covered- would it be too much, or BECAUSE it's covered mostly, could I get away with it? I wanna be both true to the inspiration and try to also make it actually lolita and not 'weird'. I know cosplay isn't 'cheap', but I know lolita isn't 'cosplay'- is what I mean. So, would it come off as 'cosplay-y' or not?

[@jessicar3291]

Good morning, Lor!

[@blackstar3327]

Do you know if there are going to be any Lolita events this year?

[@StaringElf]

Weird comment but Lor lookin kinda fresh in this video 😳😏

[@sally98816]

Just my opinion, lolita at the end of the day is just a kind of fashion style, so there’s no definite right or wrong way to wear it. Taobao brands started to make “ita” dresses, sleeveless or meant to be worn without blouse, and they actually look pretty good. So don’t be afraid of being ita, its only about how you coordinate the it and how you balance everything. I don’t like being ita but I hate hearing people criticise being ita...

[@clownweaver]

to me the concept of ita is super... specific. mainly bc to me it is so strongly attached to being a weeaboo, like tacky animal ears, cat paws, hug me -signs, not matching anything, collars+leashes, over the top & arrogant attitude. basically everything from the 2010~ish con scene. 😂😂

[@jenniferhopesafe9742]

Are bloomers required underneath.

[@artydemon100]

It's recommended for modesty, especially if you go out when it's windy the dress may fly up. However you don't absolutely need them. They aren't too expensive though so I think it's worth the investment, especially since you can just have one or two pairs for all co-ords

[@ImLazz]

i actually learned a lot from this video !! tysm Lor ^.^!

[@alanyasimontacchi5639]

I have a major question, but I’ve never been able to find anyone to answer my question. I really enjoy both Lolita and cosplay, so would it be ok to cosplay as a character in Lolita? And before anyone comes for me, I know the difference between cosplaying and Lolita, I was just wondering if there was a way to mix them together. Like, I would make a coordinate that would work for a character basically cosplay as the character in a Lolita outfit. Is that ok or is that seen as Ita? I want to know so I don’t go an embarrass myself or cause people to get angry.

[@SodaVampire]

It’s not ita at all, a lot of people have done this! Whether it’s wearing an outfit inspired by a character or literally cosplaying as a character while also wearing lolita, there’s nothing wrong with it. :) There’s a tumblr blog called fyeahnerdylolita that has a lot of examples of this.

[@alanyasimontacchi5639]

@@SodaVampire I see, thank you for letting me know! That makes me very happy!

[@macpomeroy1166]

What is being banned from the Lolita community? How does it happen and what does it mean? If you are banned, what can you do and not do?

[@shannonleeann5643]

Most of the cords I see you in seem to embody circus.

[@bowie5580]

I love your videos lor

[@echeveriapsycho]

Wait can I ask what is the blouse you wear? Fell like this colour totally matches one of my coords

[@RUlNA]

It’s a Lady Sloth Shop blouse; it’s their elegant mesh blouse but I’m not entirely sure which colourway!

[@echeveriapsycho]

@@RUlNA thank you!)

[@RUlNA]

@@echeveriapsycho 👍👍👍🖤

[@Francescosplays]

Why can’t we just make a substyle out of things considered ita and use that for the rules of the style cause it could turn out great

[@Francescosplays]

It could be no petticoat and no blouse

[@kirakiraclover7050]

Now, Lor, we all know you not liking animal ears is a lie. 😛 You own a bear-ear headdress that you’ve even worn in videos lol (unless you sold it by now. In which case, I stand corrected)

[@PocketDeerBoy]

I’d say with shiny fabrics, just stay away from polyester. It’s plastic.

[@chuchu00444]

I want to wear lolita but I just moved to another country and I'm still poor af 😭😭 I hope soon I can save enough to buy lolita clothing

[@rinrinring]

Beginner's that post their outfits online. Don't look at /CGL ita forum. It's a rank forum where people post your coords to ridicule them. Minors and all no consent needed they will take your pictures. - it's a place full of nit-picking elitists. Keep your mental health safe and dont look. This fashion is gorgeous but was too expensive for me personally - so now I am a decora and fairy kei girl ~ it's the J-fashion natural progression at this point.

[@LurkingAstronaut]

I really dislike bows.... help?

[@Miguelrirez-ne6kq]

you can try and play around with hairpins, clips, bonnets, different sizes of hats,, I’d imagine you can play around and incorporate it into your style, also different styles of hats,,, as for dresses, you can try tailoring your clothing, or search for different styles based on your preferences, one idea is to look for possible historical inspo styles, incorporating those into outfits, possibly embroidery,, Sorry if my advice is terrible tho!

[@Miguelrirez-ne6kq]

small accessories and hair done in different styles could also be a option, a bun, curls, twirly long hair,,all pretty,,

[@rigormortis7020]

If I´m a boy am I not allowed to wear lolita or try and be in the community?

[@dorianthekilljoy4092]

You can absolutely wear lolita and be in the community.

[@hollischeblume6393]

everyone can be a cute princess, every guy, gal and non binary pal

[@kayla4503]

You can totally wear lolita and there's also ouji style which is more boyish, masculine and prince-like

[@RUlNA]

I’m a boy and I wear lolita. I have a friend who is 6’4 and bearded like a viking and wears lolita. As long as you like it and you feel comfortable, you totally can!

[@wrentherainfalls2925]

Definitely! I’ve just rejoined the lolita community after a few years off so i don’t know if he’s still popular but, mana-sama was a extremely popular gothic lolita and j-rock artist who created the lolita brand moi-même-moitié! I think it’s part of the magic of lolita that you’re wearing something so extravagant that gender is no longer relevant. Also tbh I think godzilla could join the community and no would blink an eyelid, so you have nothing to worry about!

[@alienrabbit2905]

love this coord 😍

[@devinbaggs7542]

I feel like the "ears = ita" thing is some anti-furry bias. I know there's other factors in there too though.

[@hormiguitasenmicara]

i doubt that. i think it comes from late 90s early 2000s weebs wearing cat ears. i remember a lot of manga from that time had characters in maid outfits/ lolita-adjacent clothing w animal ears. the ears that furry use for their fursuits are much better looking and have a lot more personality than the ears typical itas are portrayed as wearing.

[@devinbaggs7542]

@@hormiguitasenmicara Good point, there's probably a desire to distance the fashion from neko-maid characters too

[@hormiguitasenmicara]

@@devinbaggs7542 yeah, although i wouldnt be surprised if some lolitas dislike furries or dislike being lumped together with them because both communities are seen as weird sexual communities by outsiders.

[@hormiguitasenmicara]

@@froxyanicotti ive been part of fandom spaces for too long to think that way. unless theyre actual zoophiles or weirdos into babyfurs, theyre just people with a hobby. just mind your own business and focus on yourself.

[@hormiguitasenmicara]

@@froxyanicotti sure bud whatever makes you feel better

[@brianmacy518]

Is ot a rule for Lolita that there can not be a Lolita outfit that is for Plus Size women?

[@Alishajoseph212]

Outfit so cute

[@selim666]

Is it bad if me and my friend dress up as lolitas at Halloween I don’t want to make people mad bc we are using the Lolita culture

[@WhimsicalNessa]

I’m sure it’s fine as long as you’re not saying you’re in lolita fashion.

[@liz8986]

Yay, i'm early.

[@Rilesjean]

"it doesn't make sense to have 2 ears" 🤔

[@Rilesjean]

Omg I just rewatched that clip and realized the video thumbnail at the end was covering up the correction oops

[@hormiguitasenmicara]

i was really into lolita as a tween, i recently got back into it now, more than a decade later and im so confused at the amount of lolita maid dresses ive seen. a decade ago i remember that being a huge no no a big ita red flag. im not interested in maid dresses so im not gonna wear them but like...are they no longer ita?

[@biguattipoptropica]

They were never really ita, it was a rule designed to help newbies who were usually weebs, aka western specific.

[@hormiguitasenmicara]

@@biguattipoptropica interesting thank you for your answer!

[@Gotherine]

Furry Lolita assimilation. Only the tallest highest of quality of ears so i can go full deco den to match mah prints.