Will an Open Marriage Save Us? feat. Bayleigh and Swaggy C | Lovers and Friends Ep. 66

Lonely during the pandemic Bayleigh came to her partner with a question: can I get a girlfriend? Years later, they are still trying to answer that question.
Open relationships. Now, you can clutch them pearls and raise those eyebrows all you want to, but this conversation is not going away - especially not in America.
Using two separate samples based on the U.S. Census, researchers found that one-fifth of the population in the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives and if the trend continues, the only place this number is going is up. So… are open relationships the bandaid, the cure or the curse of our generation? And furthermore, how do you actually start one? Like for real? Let’s talk about it on this episode of Lovers and Friends.
We have a loaded conversation between our starring guests on this episode, Swaggy C and Bayleigh. A married couple with a new baby, but an old, inactive desire to explore consensual non-monogamy within their marriage. There are a lot of themes to pull from this interview like: what happens when non-monogamy is one person’s yum and the other’s yea I guess if that will make you happy… OR the dangers of using non-monogamy as a punishment for unfulfillment… OR the joys/ struggles of having a partner who is supportive of your desires, but not all the way cooperative. However what stood out to me in this episode is how to go from being curious to actually being actively open...for real.
FOLLOW THE GUESTS ON THIS EPISODE
Follow Bayleigh:
/ bayydayy
/ swayleighgang
/ bayydayyy
Follow Chris “Swaggy C”:
/ swaggyctv
/ @kingswaggy
Follow Dr. Monica:
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[e-mail]
THANKS TO THE SPONSOR OF THIS EPISODE
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Follow Shan:
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[e-mail]
Open relationship reading list From Dr. Monica:
IG Educational Pages
· Evita Sawyers | @lavitaloca34
· Chanee Jackson Kendall | @chaneespeaks
· Jhen | @monogamishpod
· Kevin Patterson | @polyrolemodels
· @polyamouraousblackgirl
· Leanne Yau | @polyphiliablog
Books
· Pre-Order | A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-monogamous | Evita Sawyers
· Love is Not Colorblind | Kevin Patterson
· Polysecure | Jessica Fern
· The Ethical Slut | Hardy & Easton
· More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory | Ricket & Veaux
· Polyamory & Jealousy | Ricket & Veaux

[@ilovefefi]

This man is obviously monogamous and got married to have a traditional family. He’s in love and understanding to his wife. He deserves the same back.

[@hustleman8797]

So he should find someone that matches that

[@KingSwaggy]

Just some clarity for those confused. We've been married for 5 years. The first year & a half was amazing. But I didn't have much money. I was making maybe $2k a month and sometimes, she'd cover rent. But we were still happy. Spent 24/7 together. Her family didn't think I was good enough for her and wanted her to leave me for someone who was making 6 figures or who could provide. That was drilled into my head for months. It really messed me up. I remember one night being emotional about it at 24 years old. She stood by me. So I locked myself in a room for months, (I was already a trader but my wins/losses equaled, so I was breaking event for most of the time), but locked myself in a room for months and just studied as if there was no Plan B & traded. Within those months, I hit a hot streak and made 6 figures. That made me more happy with myself and more confident that I just did that. But now at that point, I had trauma from what was given my way the past year + my childhood, that I didn't wanna stop making money. And even though Bayleigh was happy with the 6 figures, I set out for more. And I became obsessed. And 6 turned to 7. And I became a millionaire. At this point, I wasn't spending much time with her. I wasn't cheating. I was literally in the living room where she could see me, just working. Which was a form of neglect because there was no time for Netflix or if we wanted to ice skate/movies/spa, it would be once a week. So we went from spending 24/7 together but broke, to spending only every morning & night together, but for 14 hours out of the day, I was working. We'd maybe do a dinner on the weekend. But we were rich. That wasn't what she wanted but I still had this strong desire to continue to prove her family and others wrong even though I already did it. That was my own fault. $1 mill turned to 2. Then 3. Now we're at $5 million dollars/annually (at that point in time). And with this same schedule, was when she finally proposed the open relationship. Because of the amount of time I was spent at work. She was NOT asking for guys nor has ever asked for one. It was females as she wanted more from the emotional side. So at that point I had a wake up call that it doesn't matter how rich I am if I'm not spending as much time with my wife. The balance got better with work & spending time together, I ended up making 8 figures, (so now we're at $10 million) - but since we brought it up and seriously looked into it a year prior, it never left our mindset. So it's always brought to the table and in our heads even though we're in a much better spot now. For me, it was just hard going through that rough patch, and not a lot of people believe in you, then you became a multi-millionaire and all of a sudden, you're everybody's best friend. I still struggle with the thought of being complacent now, vs scaling up as I have goals of $25million in 2024. It's tricky. But I hope that provides some clarity on how this all came about. She's perfectly right & I understand why she asked - because I wasn't spending enough time with her. And I'm perfectly right in my viewpoint of trying to not only continually provide (she hasn't paid a bill in 4 years), but want more for myself. It's a battle. But we both take care of each other and love each other very much as the balance of work & our relationship has benefitted dramatically & we now have 2 beautiful kids. Not a fan of the title of "save us" because we never looked at it as that and felt it was click-baity as saving us in my opinion means without us, we're done. More so looked at it as "will it help us." But we understand social media. Just wanted to give my thoughts as I never commented in these past 8 months.

[@thedebraddogroup]

Swaggy, I'm praying for you. I pray the Lord God that you have prayed to several times even in your Secure The Swag series provides you wisdom, direction and clarity. To whom much is given, much is required. And heavy is the head.....yea. So. Praying for you and Bayleigh. And the children (we never mention the kids enough though they also get impacted somehow by these type of things)

[@brooklin_bernek]

I have to say, I do think even with you working if you were with her every morning and night that should of been adequate. Me and my hubs go out literally every few months , because we have 5 kids. He works 10+ hour days … I would never ride him or nag on him! No matter how rich or poor - it’s all about give and take. Sacrifice! And you even added this comment to help her not look as bad as she does in this video, but dang can’t lie it kind of made her look worse because of it (of course IMO) . But NMW as long as your happy that’s all that matters .

[@kaygene9771]

I have read your full explanation and it all does make sense, but I want to point out that you may want to realize instead of adding a scapegoat to the issue handle to issue which is your need and obsession with money and what people think have caused you to neglect your wife emotionally and instead of making changes on your end your excepting something you really don’t want to your going to so you don’t have any harder work to do. I hope it all works out for you but there is a lot to unpack there.

[@marlanicole8175]

Screw the haters, Swaggy you don’t need to explain s*it to nobody. If you’re happy then that’s all that matters

[@tanyaprice5169]

I’m glad that you responded. No offense to you, but she seems a bit flighty and confused of what she really wants. We’re no longer in the pandemic and she still back-and-forth about what she desires. She wants to party and turn on and do all these things and you seem much more grounding than she does.I think this will cause heartbreak and she’ll live her very happy life with your money in her pocket. Just my opinion of wisdom.

[@MarshasJourney]

Make sure your values align before you get married. End of story.

[@Iheartyt5596]

That’s it. Point blank period!

[@Aniexo_]

Period.

[@esikazemese]

10000000 %

[@drmonica2k1]

That's the take away.

[@timiadetona]

Love, alone is not enough and will never be. Alignment in goals and values matter.

[@VanishaRD]

After watching the full episode, I am more so stuck on the tension between these two. There are a lot of chilly moments-body language, lack of touch/eye contact, side eyeing and discomfort. It makes me question the longevity of their relationship. Having said that, as much as I love couples navigating whatever works for them… I don’t think opening the relationship will be the solution here.

[@lunar3n]

honestly esp from shaggy towards bayleigh imo. there was tension and some weirdness thru all of it but i feel like bayleigh was trying to be affectionate towards him through the whole thing and he just wouldn’t receive it

[@angelbeauty816]

To continue this on these ideas between Vanisha and Luna. His gestures may highlight that he's not really aware of how uncomfortable he actually is of the situation. He may be trying to be supportive but there may be other emotional hiccups he's not fully resolved. To be told that your unworthy (by people around you), and to focus all your time to become worthy, and still not be considered enough, even after you've realized your issues and are actively working on it may affect anyone - consciously or unconsciously.

[@Khadijah_time]

@@lunar3n More like trying to have her cake and eat it too. I’m not going to sugarcoat it at all. Bayleigh is simply trying to f$@k other men/women whenever she gets an itch whilst being a married woman with a young child. Simple as that. She wants the lifestyle her husband affords (at his own detriment by not having a healthy work/life balance) and that quite literally takes him away from her and their child which makes her want to “love” on others because of the void. Now what exactly makes her this prize that their circle of people were in his ear about how he wasn’t providing enough for her in the first place? What exactly was she doing in that regard? What was she bringing to the table in the partnership of marriage? This man now has a complex around providing financially which makes him not present emotionally and physically. This whole situation is sad. How were these people they spoke of so up in their marriage in the first place? I don’t know them, none of us do, but the lack of emotional intelligence/availability was strong in this small glimpse into their relationship. Frankly, it was painful to watch. Seems like some individual therapy would be helpful at the very least. Because it’s clear they have inner work to do separately before anything else. Moral values should at the very least be aligned when two people are considering marriage. It’s quite evident that conversation was not discussed in a meaningful way (maybe not at all) prior to them making an emotional bond.

[@pryncessdi9358]

@@angelbeauty816 This!! I think he has really worked hard for where he is despite every obstacle and to give his wife everything she wants for her to say it's too much to be a wife and mom. I just want to pretend I'm single for the weekend or a week and screw other men if I'm feeling froggy. Like what about a girls weekend or trip. Why do you have to screw other people or engage in a situation with another guy? She seems so happy about doing this and selling it to him like she already has someone in mind. Now granted I'm all for women empowerment and sexual liberty and it's usually the man that wants to venture out. But idk about this one

[@lolaispure4296]

​@@lunar3n why would he? She is basically telling him he is not enough for her. He accepts it and tolerates but surely is still hurt and maybe even resentful.

[@derekmars1344]

I could not be in relationship with someone that willing to switch up so quickly. Saying if she isn’t satisfied automatically wants to bring up opening marriage.. that would not feel safe to me.

[@loveafrica97]

Safe is the word. Woo

[@Image8O4]

She's definitely not leaving him and I think he knows that. 💰💰💰

[@dukeandmary2578]

It doesn’t seem like Chris is really interested in the consensual nonmonagamy but I think he will do anything to keep Bayleigh happy. He fell in love with her quickly and proposed within such a short period of time. He became a workaholic after people made him feel like he couldn’t adequately provide for her. He will do whatever it takes to keep her happy, even to his own detriment. Bayleigh seems to be giving mixed signals which would be confusing to me if I was her partner. When things are good she’s no longer interested in exploring other relationships, but when she’s feeling in a rut, that’s when those feelings resurface. It would be difficult for a partner to not feel inadequate when she flips back and forth.

[@2toosexE]

Agreed and a woman out there right now and is ready to go after her man.

[@christiel4302]

Agreed.. It’s pretty eye-opening to find out that it was outside pressure that was making Chris feel like he wasn’t giving Bayleigh the type of life that she deserved initially… I wonder who it was that was in his ear? That’s kind of crazy to think, considering they’ve already seemed financially comfortable for a while, and he still felt like he needed to up the ante. Clearly, someone or several people were giving him the impression that whatever he was doing for her wasn’t enough… This caused him to go into work overdrive which left her feeling isolated, thus pushing her into the idea of non monogamy, even more so because it sounds like it was something she was already open to. It really is crazy how peer pressure and outside influence can affect a relationship…

[@esikazemese]

I would dump her.

[@gregorytaylor8635]

I agree she is manipulative, when she gets old she will not be saying this same thing

[@kiara19902000]

I agree it's just too inconsistent. I personally couldn't deal with it

[@jessicahill7476]

Bayleigh comes off manipulating. Saying things like “if he doesn’t want it I can put this side away forever and just suffer” like saying stuff like suffer when you know the man who loves you would never want you to suffer. It’s like Do what I want if not I will suffer

[@ParamoreFAV3]

I just want to say as a man, thank you. Because how many women would come out and say she’s out of pocket for her behavior; and not even just behavior, the things in which she says. Like the first thing she said was “I just feel like he would do whatever for me because he loves me”. That’s not love.

[@jessicahill7476]

@@ParamoreFAV3 yeah she seems narcissistic and all about herself, she knows she has the upper hand and uses it to her own advantage. He works hard for her and gave her a stable life. Meanwhile she tries to step out on him cause she’s bored. She should find her own job or passion. She clearly has nothing going on for herself if she’s so bored

[@NicoleParker9]

Bingo!

[@ParamoreFAV3]

@@jessicahill7476 yeah, I truly hate peoples like that. You don’t wanna lose him but you’re willing to step out to seek attention from others in any aspect; but you know the man you have is a great man if you’re afraid to lose him; why ever put yourself in the predicament to ever lose him? I don’t get people. Some people don’t have brains.

[@HereInMyVerona]

She doesn’t deserve him. I wouldn’t put him through this if it were me.

[@zoecarter3646]

A man that just wanna WORK and not seeking other women is a rare find.. idky they seem to end up with unapreciative women.

[@lolak.9275]

This..

[@lionelluva]

Agree and that’s so sad. I feel like Bayleigh will regret being with Swaggy C when he’s blessed with someone else.

[@Jazzy869]

Exactly… Many women are yearning for a man like him

[@Blissedx]

I think it’s because he just wants to work. A man that actually is emotionally mature enough and wants to be emotionally invested in his woman would want a woman that’s the same. But when a man is more into material things he is usually with a woman that’s the same way. It just manifests differently due to their gender. Bailey isn’t bored for no reason❤

[@bobjayboxing3804]

​@@Jazzy869cap until yall get him

[@imo.124]

It's very dangerous to me to explore an open relationship. What if your husband agrees to the open marriage but then decides the Woman he's seeing is a better match?? You've just opened up Pandora's box in your marriage. Be careful what you ask for is all I'll say.

[@mleekahh]

You missed the beginning of this episode

[@BADDGRLWRLD]

Her husband is boring to her and she only values what he gives and discards him when he’s not fitting into that. He loves her and would do anything to keep her happy

[@bhp000]

That's a cuck bro 😂

[@user-xd2nx9mh1j]

Sad to see played out but I knew someone was up when she was hugged up with that girl on MULTIPLE occasions

[@falgod82]

THIS IS IT!

[@Xoxo_m7]

@@user-xd2nx9mh1jwhat girl? Kaycee on the challenge and bb?

[@Joseph-kd1zz]

yeah he is a sucker he doesn't have self respect

[@PeukinsPoint]

They just aren’t compatible. It’s that simple. He checks all the boxes as a man but fundamentally they are misaligned.

[@davispatrick2093]

Bro needs to free himself. She is manipulating him into something he doesn’t seem comfortable with. He looked so uncomfortable. He rich and young go find a woman who Has your same outlook on marriage. don’t let her trap you with another baby.

[@jada43226]

He doesn’t look happy at all. I hope he overcomes low self esteem and gets with someone who shares his same values

[@Amber_Aviva]

Yeah, she’s an adulteress and he is sick to his stomach

[@gcshaniya355]

Facts

[@Blissedx]

I honestly thinks he’s too young for her.

[@Mstechgf]

I see he has issues he needs to get away form her

[@MadisonPettway_]

“We get one night a week to have fun, I’m gonna choose you.” Love that Jared

[@Maybejada]

Wanting an open relationship solely for the times your partner is busy. And now you feel you need someone else so they can give you attention and fill some void….. is interesting. I wonder if she realizes that ppl aren’t just there to please her. Aren’t just there to make her happy. To fulfill her needs…. This is why ppl in open relationships scare me. Sometimes they just want to use ppl for the times they aren’t feeling “fulfilled”. She wants to be able to go off and not “feel responsible for anyone” sooo that other person she’s w/ is almost just an object there to pls her. Someone she doesn’t even have to care about if she doesn’t feel like it. I couldn’t deal w/ someone who is off and on like that. One second they’re happy w/ me so now only want me. The next they didn’t get enough attention or didn’t get enough this or that. So wants to be off w/ the next. I feel for him. Probably feels like nothing he does is ever enough then. “I still want to keep him but want more too”. Ppl are not her pets.

[@esikazemese]

And then some people dare to say "childless people are selfish" LOL . When this is how parents act.

[@Maybejada]

@@esikazemese I mean I’m a parent as well. There’s just selfish ppl everywhere.

[@digthewarmth]

Yea she'll get a rude awakening when it's hard to find people who are down with her arrangement, like Shan and Jared are finding. People don't want to sign up to be your pet lol.

[@T.H-v4h]

I don't think it's too selfish. Many couples do this. Like couples in the military. If you are non monogamous it's of to find others to fulfill your needs. Wether it be a sexual need or a need to connect with someone emotionally. The important thing is she talked about it first

[@Maybejada]

@@T.H-v4h I think that’s the definition of selfish. To seek ppl for the sole purpose of having your own needs fulfilled. Being only concerned w/ your own pleasure. Whether a lot of ppl do this or not. Still comes from selfish intent.

[@mizzhelloo]

Yeah.... I don't see this lasting unfortunately.

[@m-adeey1292]

can you explain why you think its it not lasting ? what are you seeing that i dont see?

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

@@m-adeey1292 they just don’t seem compatible. I definitely think they love each other, but that’s not enough to sustain a relationship long term.

[@cosmicconnect7772]

I think it worked really well for Shan and Jared because they were two people who were very confident in themselves and in the situation. There was also transparent communication and a resonance between them

[@ncokeke1958]

They both wanted something unconventional. This couple clearly doesn’t align in the same way.

[@mieskaarendorf8247]

Are they still in an open relationship?

[@relotamagdalena3871]

​@@mieskaarendorf8247 i guess to an extent but Jared said they don't have time to engage with someone else

[@thefreebabe]

Actually, not true. I rmr they did a video where her husband admits he knew he already loved her, but she was set on being open, etc.

[@Khadijah_time]

@@relotamagdalena3871 That’s the issue. HE thinks that. But Shan was clearly quiet about it and even brought up the scenario of them being each others “baby sitter” so they CAN have the time to f?$k other ppl. That is always going to be the issue. Each person can and will feel different at different times and the other can feel some type of way about it. This whole open relationship theory rarely works out, because the other person almost always will feel some type of way. Not to mention that people are free to change their minds based on new experiences with whom they’ve chosen as their “person”. It’s complex and extremely problematic at the very least.

[@laetitian1542]

She's being selfish and leverages his love or his fear of rejection to keep her happy to her advantage. The relationship has sooo many red flags! As a Christian, I feel this video adds to a list of why to avoid this type of messy situation.

[@banginzaza]

Yes! She wants to get her cheeks clapped by other men. And keep a successful and driven man as her main one.

[@falgod82]

🗣🗣🗣

[@juliette13101]

I really enjoy the content in your podcast but the way it’s so edited and different people talking and jumping between you adding commentary can be really difficult to watch. It feels a little hectic and overwhelming at times, no hate at all just some feedback ❤

[@dukeandmary2578]

Agreed.

[@shanboody]

Yea that’s totally fair I felt that on this one too

[@charityratcliff5149]

The content was great just a little jumpy! I loved listening to the professional’s definitions! Added another layer of credibility to the pod.

[@tsunamimami1]

Agreed!

[@Rooby673]

Agreed

[@Toni3Chill5]

As soon as I heard they got engaged after 23 days that told me everything. They loved what they THOUGHT they knew about each other but people are creatures with many layers. You definitely need more than a month to decide if you’re going to dedicate your life to someone. You need time to see if your values align

[@kayzzzjayyy]

This conversation is uncomfortable to watch and I am someone that respects different relationship styles. But this does not look sustainable.

[@MrsNgoma]

Agreed 😂

[@user-xd2nx9mh1j]

Swag, go find someone with similar values & let B go play. She LOVES attention and that was seen in the screen. Coparenting is fine!

[@2toosexE]

I have a few friends who were in open relationships and marriages. They all eventually ended things. It always seems like one party is compromising to another's needs. I think some people have issues with monogamy because they are looking for outside adoration, someone to make them feel whole as a person, the addiction of being revered. They all also seem like they don't have it together and is somewhat immature. Ultimately one parter starts to become very empty and things come to an end. Surprisingly enough in all my friends the husbands were the ones that walked away. Left for someone they met while they were "free". One of my friends was left with a young baby and her husband said to her " he was tired of "sharing" he wanted someone who was just for him". What hurt her most was the arrangement was HIS idea. I never judged my friends lifestyle to each their own, some will say they are brave enough to act on a feeling a lot of us may want to do. However, just from my observation these relationships are often not sustainable.

[@christiel4302]

Very interesting take.. I do agree that in a lot of these situations, one or both people are still “searching” for something that the other person is not able to give them, under the guise that another person will. Although there are plenty out there who say they just have more love to give, I would like to believe that, but it’s hard for someone like me who just doesn’t see themselves as polyamorous or “open.” I just don’t think I would ever be OK with a boyfriend or husband being intimate with anybody else. I think a common problem in a lot of these relationships is that one person is usually not getting their needs met by the other, as is clearly the case between Bayleigh and Swaggy. He’s obviously a workaholic which leaves her feeling alone. I wonder if the idea of an open relationship would have even come into the picture if he wasn’t like that.

[@anonanon7553]

@@christiel4302 yeah it seems like she’s really dissatisfied. I feel like she’s is looking for another guy, but is too afraid to leave him because of how caring he is and how fast their relationship developed

[@ilmari23]

This is so sad to me about the men being the ones who ended things bc they found someone else during their other trysts .This is why for me it was difficult to want to open mine with someone bc they were pretty much like if someone else comes along we just let each other know and its time we end things with each other. Like wow i just couldnt handle that callous ass thinking of being detached :/

[@Jazzy869]

Ive heard so many people say that polyamory never works out

[@kayallen6122]

I think I’m hearing that in moments of boredom, she visits the thought. No relationship is on a constant high and it seems like she needs that. He’s content with just them versus her needing that attention from multiple partners. I also wonder how fulfilled she is outside of their relationship.

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

Seeing that Chris is the one who isn’t really interested in non-monogamy, the boundary he’s set in terms of being ready, set, go has been communicated. Bayleigh hears him but still just wants it to be spontaneous. That’s not fair to him. I agree with Shan about the back-and-forth could start to feel like she’s punishing him.

[@anonanon7553]

She says she waiting for him to say okay, but he’s already said okay. I think she’s the one that’s more scared that she might leave him and this will be the end of their relationship.

[@leahdrile398]

On big brother bayleigh came off as a spoiled brat who thinks everything revolves around her, and seems like that hasn’t changed. Poor swaggy!! Swaggy you deserve BETTER! Her excitement saying the ball is in her court .. She loves controlling everything.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

But as they met on Big Brother, he saw who she was and still married her.

[@Kaibyrd1]

I initially listened to the audio version of this episode and had to come back to see if the tension and intensity was just as evident in Bailey and Swaggys body language as it was in their voices. I’m always intrigued to witness unconventional love and sometimes it’s admirable, but this is not the case. I don’t see how they will be able to sustain the relationship because their needs in relationship are so drastically different. At some point, resentment will start to grow if you start to feel extremely closed in or misunderstood by your partner.

[@Christine-wu9tx]

Same- I was hoping to get something different from their body language, but they seem like separate entities instead of a unified team. I've been the partner who was satisfied while my partner wasn't, it's not a good feeling and doesn't generally work in the long run. Hoping for the best for each of them though!

[@Amber_Aviva]

Yeah it’s visibly sad and unsettling. Why did he even come on the show?

[@nolabae]

​@@Amber_Avivahe's trying to save their marriage. Becoming a mother change her and him being so into getting financial wealth pulled him away from their union. Opening their relationship on shaky ground like this will only make things worse.

[@Amber_Aviva]

@@nolabae I agree that it’s a bad idea to open their relationship I also don’t think their relationship is stable enough for them to have interviewed about this topic

[@ShneiceB]

This was VERY interesting...I got the feeling that the guy does not want this to happen...just from his demeanor...I feel that he does not want to lose her so he is going to do what she wants him to do...many blessings to them...enjoyed...🤗

[@cosmicconnect7772]

There’s so much nuance in the relationship. what I receive from watching this is that she has the sense of needing to explore and carries more instability within herself, meanwhile he seems to uphold more traditional values. I don’t think hes able to voice what he truly wants without being judged though because there’s a lot of judgement coming from how Bayleigh is speaking on how she views traditional roles. His demeanor in this episode is that he’s trying his best to compromise and keep her happy by being indifferent. Ultimately I think that the foundation on which this topic stands for them is really shakey. It seems CNM works best if it’s between two people who are sure of it or if not that, someone whos willing to completely compromise and are certain that they can handle it. I wish them the best though

[@loveafrica97]

A thought - I remember Swaggy sharing about his experience growing up, very unstable and chaotic for him and his brother. That non-managomy sounds like that would be awful for him. Also, I think it would’ve been interesting to exploreSwaggys relationship with his mother and from what I remember, it was very unpredictable.. I’m sure that affects his people pleasing/tolerance

[@TheLadsonsLife]

I truly appreciate how you truly take the time to understand everyone that comes onto your podcast! You are always giving a very educational insights on whatever the topic might be. 🙌🏽 without making them feel less than. Your podcast never disappoints no matter the topic 🥰

[@Erinblank462]

I don’t have anything against open marriages, I mean I support Shan and Jared because it feels authentic to them and seems like a choice they both wanted. This relationship with bayleigh and Chris doesn’t seem the same, it seems she wants it and he doesn’t he visibly looks uncomfortable. Body language says all.

[@zoecarter3646]

I feel sorry for her after he reads this comment section lol😂😂

[@HOPE.TheresNoPlaceLikeHomeClub]

Open relationship?!? Yes, I clutched my pearls and I'm judging. So, Baleigh is letting her freak flag fly, and Chris is trying to be okay with it because he loves her. I'd be mortified having this out in the open, but this alphabet generation knows no boundaries. Baleigh, Baleigh, Baleigh. You knew who you were BEFORE you married and you should have owned up to it. She considers monogamy "suffering". I'm not for divorce, but this is sexual shenanigans. Leave Chris and find someone who wants YOU!

[@AAA-ec4vf]

Exactly 💯 💯 💯

[@Toni3Chill5]

Her freak flag lmao that got me 😂😂😂😂

[@wolf9813]

Swaggy is smart. He knows Wasup he was just playing along with it cause he knows in the end he’s going to win. Lose bailegh ok he can find 10 more just like her

[@virtualcity721]

I know his blood boiling sitting there. She's hella disrespectful

[@MelissaAnne9416]

So she’s interested in ENM only when things get hard or difficult? That part of it was troubling. When she’s feeling discomfort in the relationship, that’s when she asks to seek another partner. No, that’s not how CNM or ENM should function. I agree with Shan saying that they interpret ENM as a punishment. That’s not how it should work. I don’t believe this girl is with the right partner or has any idea of how commitment or even polyamory works.

[@Sm84641]

I hate seeing good men mistreated because there are VERY FEW left right now.Thats all I will say. I am half way through and can't even endure the rest.

[@katarinaskinner1704]

They do not seem to be on the same page. This seems to be all her. I’m curious how this continues.

[@clAssIcAllymINdless]

I agreed with Jared’s reaction that Swaggy doesn’t want this

[@MrsNgoma]

Agreed

[@TriggaTreDay]

I have been following Swaggy C for years now, if dude didn’t really want it he would’ve never took it public. He was very clear about the fact that if she wants it he’s cool, but he personally doesn’t want or need it. And that’s fine too. Lots of people in the trading world can become very disconnected, I was there once myself, so I totally feel why he may be ok with it. But just know, if he gets uncomfortable he will talk with her.

[@user-xd2nx9mh1j]

@@TriggaTreDayhe’s doing this for her. He feels indebted to her & her family

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@user-xd2nx9mh1j why do you feel like he feels indebted to her? Because he was made to feel like he wasn’t worthy of her? I’m not sure, but what are your thoughts?

[@falgod82]

At all!

[@mlimrx]

I think Bailey needs to grow up, no relationship is going to provide you everything. I think Chris is wonderful, but also trying very hard to be in this relationship. Wishing them both the best.

[@NewCreationInChrist896]

Keep it closed, don’t sell your souls Swayleigh. Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

[@valeriesefatsa397]

Bayleigh > Personifies confusion , passive selfishness that comes off as i love and care for my man .literally that she want to eat her "cake" alone and not loose her man too!

[@3BandJ]

I honestly feel he has SO much more to learn about himself and who and what he is to the world I feel he gives detaching vibes . I feel naturally we are attaching beings when we are fully okay being our whole vulnerable selves, i think they need more time to have that rawness in expression through experiences. I feel we can’t know what’s inside both of their individual minds I feel if they stay true to themselves and continue to grow they can create whatever reality in the most loving pleasurable way👑✨ keep it on “what am I learning about self” rather than “what is right about self” vs “what is wrong about self”

[@3BandJ]

I feel they could have a doubled edge sword ⚔️ stabbed in between them and that’s a conflict of interest and they come off as two different people who want a different outcome in life which is bounded together by “unconditional love for each others essence”

[@esikazemese]

It amazes me how much freetime people have to be bored. And she should have think before getting married, because the only reason why other people's questions piss her off, is because she is lying to herself and the answers are lies.

[@Amber_Aviva]

Right, like she couldn’t just wait for him to come home???? 😳 that’s love…being patient

[@dinaisis2991]

😂 this couple is interesting, definitely opposites attract, he's more serious, structured, focused, she's more of a wild child, social butterfly, unstructured, spontaneous, flexible. Sometimes people see opposites as tension or negative, but it's beautiful. Love doesn't always look one way. I know they will figure it out but they'll have to adopt each others traits, she will have to adopt a structure to make him safe and he will have to be more flexible to adjust to her new mindset and that is growth ❤.

[@samuelediale6638]

Her mind set of what sleeping outside the marriage? 😂😂😂 she's a fool

[@jessicahill7476]

She’s saying it’s apart of her, I wonder if he knew that before marriage. I feel bad that he got into something he didn’t know full story to. They aren’t compatible I feel :/

[@ms.marimac]

This was a really interesting conversation. I understand the length of a couple’s dating period doesn’t directly correlate to how successful they’ll be long-term. But it seems this couple really could’ve benefited from dating each other longer - it would’ve given them more time to learn each other’s relationship and sexual needs and determine if they could really be in alignment with each other. They’re admittedly polar opposites in many ways & the guy doesn’t seem really on board with an open relationship.

[@lalittl]

Per one of my favorite KZbinrs, Kat Blaque, I don’t believe in polyamory to save a monogamous relationship. Issues between the couple don’t go away with the addition of more people.

[@paintitblack9712]

💯 agree, love blaque too!

[@RicoTheTeamster]

And this is why you don’t get married after 23 days on a reality show. I hope they make it, but bruh this was cringy af. Two people who just seem to be doing life together rather than living life together.

[@SalemK-ty4ti]

No woman that truly loves her man would never sleep with another man. Any man that allows his woman to sleep with another person is a simp. Note, the exception is if both people go into the relationship with the understanding it’s going to be an open relationship, then it’s OK.

[@cb3157]

She clearly has issues and it seems as if Chris is just going along with her bc he loves her. That is not what marriage is about. He should find another wife and let her go be “wild” as she said…smh

[@funshinebear4822]

There's so much happening here - she abruptly cuts him off repeatedly and seems contemptuous toward him. She's rolling her eyes when he's speaking and scrunching her face. I hear a lot of enabling of her needs from their circle. If he can't adjust to this, even if he allows it, he will become resentful. Hopefully they can find equitable grounds and work this out.

[@c.edales740]

He’s going to find another woman. He’s not for this.

[@passinmerrikan]

They just got married last nigh and she needs this? They needed more time to learn each other I feel. I love the way J and S have discussed the how and why of their open relationship. They are partners, lovers, friends and it does not seem selfish but rather something that truly satisfies them both and something they don't even focus on like this girl. This girl is for the streets bro! Don't be a simp! This man is going along because he was working hard and she felt bored. Girl bye! She seems like she was married too soon, a family too soon, while he is committed to the family structure. She said monogamy is "heavy", she wants a break from wife and mom, it should have been something to think about before marriage. I know what she is saying because I feel the same way but i think people who feel this deeply about it should not marry, you need to be single, you need to be alone. She's giving selfish and that does not work for a solid relationship.

[@gregorytaylor8635]

Also it’s funny how she wants Swaggy to feel the same way about this as her and he clearly doesn’t , he obviously wants her but she obviously wants more than him , seems like she is more in Love with the stability and lifestyle Swaggy gives her than she is actually in love with him , I can almost guarantee her opinion and beliefs about this subject will change when she gets old 60+

[@falgod82]

She can’t stand this man. Like her spirit is to make things difficult for him. But the lifestyle she’s not trying to give up.

[@jasonhenderson6846]

and shes pregnant hmmmm lol

[@falgod82]

@@jasonhenderson6846 that doesn’t mean anything. Lol.

[@jasonhenderson6846]

@@falgod82 😂 Dna Diagnostics

[@banginzaza]

He's trapped now. He started building an empire with the wrong woman. Daaaaamn bro. You might win some but you lost this one. Ready to hear those Passport comments son! 😂😂

[@17Lramirez]

Very insightful topic, thank you Shan (and team) for bringing up these types of conversations. While it isn't for me, I can definitely appreciate a different relationship style and agree that these traditional roles/standards across a variety of areas are tired and do not work for everyone.

[@AshleyGoode]

I don’t see compatibility from my observation. Maybe in the beginning or with the baby, but these two seem to be complete opposites with no commonalities from observing this video.

[@c.edales740]

Agreed. He’s out

[@sophrosyne5900]

She is selfish and needs to lean into healing femininity . Life will serve her some humble pie , because majority of women want a Swaggy C type of man and she is failing as a partner , point blank.

[@ojvic7297]

“I have lots of love to give” BROTHER RUNNNN!!!😂

[@terrycrews1760]

After thoroughly listening to this video and respectfully taking time to gain a better understanding I realize this is CLEARLY not an area for Christians to explore LOL!

[@MrATLFalcon78]

This episode created a great deal of visceral emotional response. It took a lot to listen to the entirety of the episode, and not run from what made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I will sit with this one for a while. Just proud I was open to the conversation.

[@bellelooks]

I’m 20 minutes in and I’ve cried 4 times. I felt this comment

[@MrATLFalcon78]

@@bellelooks I am glad is resonates with you. 🫂🥰

[@BlackQueenA1825]

I've been a fan of Bayleigh and Swaggy from The Challenge. So I've always liked them both together but also as individuals (especially upon seeing a few of their podcasts episodes). It makes me a little sad that so many people are seeing Bayleigh as a selfish person because I haven't found her to be that way. That being said, I don't think that cnm is right for them. I just think that they need to adjust as a couple. The part that I think a lot of people are overlooking is that her needs were not being met in the relationship because Swaggy changed based on what OTHER PEOPLE said he should be. She made it very clear that she did not need those things and preferred his company more than money but he insisted on doing things based on what other people think. That doesn't make him a bad husband or person. He's just trying his best. And I think that she's trying to adjust to the fact that she can't control that her needs aren't being met because he wasn't listening to what she said. Her desire to open the relationship up is a reaction to his change. That doesn't make her a bad wife or person. They really just need to learn how to hear each other and focus on the relationship within themselves because the people around them (including their relationship counselor) are complicating their relationship, but only because the couple is (or at least he is) placing too much emphasis on the advice of others instead of navigating what works best for them.

[@specialmoments6076]

29 minutes Bro, he’s a hard working man. You’re bashing him cuz he doesn’t smoke/drink … many women would die for that. He wants to provide for you and the family. And you want to cheat on him? Lol ok

[@everleandodson1519]

They are so young. I don't say that to be negative or mean. As a 57 year old woman I know how much we change as we age. I hope they continue to talk and make the best decision for their marriage. Great conversation.

[@BaepsaeGen]

She will regret opening up that door. Quality man is gonna get scooped up.

[@Amber_Aviva]

Yep he seems to be a respectable man…but simpy

[@jazzybash1]

Also there’s a difference between self care and selfishness in a relationship. Marriage isn’t a one-sided thing. You can absolutely have periods where you need to refresh yourself but that doesn’t mean not considering your partner. Your self care, joy, peace should not infringe on your partner’s joy and peace and care negatively. Selfishness says it’s all about me and it doesn’t matter if it harms you in the process. Self care is saying that I need to take a breath so I can be a fully committed partner, mother, daughter, employee, employer, etc. it’s making sure you have the capacity to just be before you can give to someone else.

[@naushabarahman9276]

Let me break your bubble. A relationship is not just about sexual attraction. When you commit to someone in a marriage you are there for everything good and bad. You can not do that for more than one person in life. It's beyond one person's capacity to simultaneously be there for more than one person. Human life is not supposed to be always happy, there are going to be ups and downs and that is normal but switching sexual partners is not a solution to that. Modern human especially in the USA have become so self centric that they don't care about anybody else's happiness but themselves. If you're bored with your partner guess what? Try harder focus on your children or even better try contributing towards your community. Honestly this whole conversation just made me realize these people's minds are occupied by their sexual organs.

[@anewno6240]

I can't even find a decent man and this woman found a decent man who loves her but being ungrateful, unfair life

[@PeukinsPoint]

she doesn't respect him but she's scared to completely let go.

[@lalittl]

Lmao your tragedy has nothing to do with this woman. Women don’t have to act a certain way in their relationship just cuz you’re having no luck dating. 😂😂 the rest of that don’t have that issue so we can make requests to our partners. Focusing on figuring your ish out

[@anewno6240]

@@lalittl her husband is not happy with her requests that's sad if you want unhappy partner and being selfish just thinking about your happiness

[@lalittl]

@@anewno6240 if her husband is unhappy he needs to speak up. He’s a grown man and it sounds like they are communicating about it a ton. Anyway, that’s not why I posted. I posted because I hear women say this kind of thing a lot. The idea that because dating is hard for them or for whomever else, women that are partnered need to be extra extra grateful and make no requests or have no standards in a relationship with a good guy. I’m just here stating “um no absolutely not”. One has nothing to do with the other

[@sexyma12345678910]

​@lalittl thank you lord someone said it

[@rashayaboston]

I feel so bad for him. She’s selfish.

[@falgod82]

Very

[@JennJadeTran]

I totally understand his perspective. If my partner is telling me "i dont wanna see other people" when things are good and amazing. But when the high is gone, she wants to revisit the idea. Ofc he's gonna question her intention behind the reason she's bringing the idea up again and taking the idea away.

[@mariamakoroma7097]

He doesn’t want it and it’s not hard to see. She keeps saying that she’s so caring, but I don’t see it. This is all about what she wants.

[@amberts180]

Traditional monogamous marriage can have breaks from each other in the responsibility aspect of wife /husband and mother/father. There have definitely been breaks for decades. It’s VERY necessary for some people.

[@nanpabasico9932]

She doesn't let him get a word in edgewise

[@josinaa9638]

I love these two .. But I don’t think they are on the same page. I think Bayleigh misses her freedom and he loves her Not sure this is sustainable…

[@ariennesouvenance]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SWAGGY C However after seeing her character I am heartbroken for Swaggy. May everything work out in his favor.

[@user-xd2nx9mh1j]

I know! Poor Swaggy! He so wants to be a good man and husband.

[@1dyce2]

I find Bayleigh is flighty and inconsistent and unsure about what she desires. I could see it being very tiring having to deal with someone continuously changing their mind about whether they want a relationship to be open or closed . Bayleigh also comes off very selfish, her husband seems like he continuously is working to please her and she does not remain pleased for long . There also seems to be a lack of maturity or emotional intelligence as this should have been discussed prior to marriage.

[@Jojo-tf2zp]

Straight off the top as a practicing nonmono/poly person in terms of "saving" a relationship Im saying Noooo. I highly suggest coming to it from a stable foundation first and not in a bad place. I think it'd make jealousy/communication issues worse and if it's hard to communicate with 1 person it'll be even harder with multiple. If you don't know what you're doing you can still start! But please tell other people that. It's not only about you, it's about the people you're going to be connecting with and they deserve that.

[@dranamane]

She needs some sort of reassurance…she gets bored easily. So if she wants to open the door to a new situation than they should go their separate ways. He looks like he’s not into it but yet wants to just make her happy

[@loveafrica97]

41:40 - 42:38 was tough. I’m glad Swaggy was able to share his heart. But Shan what you shared on punishment was excellent.. you’re a talent! Swaggy C doesn’t seem like he’s in a safe space. I feel like outside of that time stamp I shared above, he wasn’t truly free and I wonder if that’s generally the dynamic in this relationship. Also, is bay an only child ?

[@zoecarter3646]

It was literally chaotic. And that would drive ANYBODY crazy and she needs to work on her self awareness to see how chaotic and emotionally unsafe her behavior is to him

[@anyaangel1354]

No, she’s the youngest

[@newworldlord643]

u and jared make the most sense to me honestly and prove my point that THERES NO TIME MULTIPLE PPLE LMAOO WTH.. i used to be poly but i just feel traumatized by it. im bisexual and used to date couples but im scared by it, I WANT MY OWN FOUNDATION, BEING THE UNICORN is for pple under 24 that want no strings experiences. and honestly dont know how the average person working 40/50hrs a week got time, that man just wanna work and be with his wife lol he got no time for his wife as is. its crazy to me i feel pple who prefer monogamy never find each other.

[@Noise_floorxx]

I got asked this out by a couple recently. I ultimately never responded but I'm curious about what it would be like

[@azabache1059]

why couples scare you?

[@zoecarter3646]

​@AZA BACHE Oh lol I thought I put scar. I'm emotionally damaged by it. It was fun when I was highly narcissistic and attention starved in my early twenties. But once it dawned on me how these people were using me it was emotionally damaging and I would never subject myself to a relationship like that ever again . Because you realize you have no power and their unit will always be put above your needs or desires. All of us need a foundational relationship to be emotionally healthy.. being somebody's 3rd unless they are declaring to you that they will show up for you in the same ways that they show up for their primary partner there is no benefit in being in that dynamic you see Shan and her partner Prioritize each other and their family 1st as they should. I want my own foundation that's all.

[@zoecarter3646]

​@S S If you are curious that's totally fine boo! It's FUN! if you're looking fir FUN!!🎉🎉❤ IM just saying I want my own foundation at this point being somebody's 3rd is not where I'm at I'm 39 years old. I was doing that in my early twenties and recently had a situation ship in 2020 because of pandemic and I was lonely I was the 3rd and I'm damaged by that situation. But everyone was lonely in 2020 and so I give myself grace for entertaining that at such a lonely time.

[@zoecarter3646]

​@S S If you are curious that's totally fine boo! It's FUN! if you're looking fir FUN!!🎉🎉❤ IM just saying I want my own foundation at this point being somebody's 3rd is not where I'm at I'm 39 years old. I was doing that in my early twenties and recently had a situation ship in 2020 because of pandemic and I was lonely I was the 3rd and I'm damaged by that situation. But everyone was lonely in 2020 and so I give myself grace for entertaining that at such a lonely time.

[@kim_316]

This is sad for so many reasons.

[@TriggaTreDay]

😂 Jada and Will should have come on your show awhile ago!! I am surprised to see saggy and Bailey on here. Swaggy C reminds me of Will, where a traditional marriage was key for him and working hard to provide an amazing life for his family became his obsession. Bailey is very similar to Jada where she was more of the open butterfly type, ready and willing to love other people. So if Bailey wants to have a healthy long term relationship she needs to figure out what she really wants so that they can work towards that together. And maybe years down the line when he isn’t working as much he will be able to fulfill her multiple sides.

[@MF-pk2gf]

I agree with most of this. They gave me Will and Jada vibes too; the main similarity being between Swaggy C and Will wanting to feel validated as providers. However, I don’t think Will is traditional in the sense you’re talking about because he was having outside relationships as well but no one focuses on that. There were pictures of him going on vacations with a younger woman YEARS ago. Plus Jada admitted as much. She knew about this.

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@MF-pk2gf unfortunately for Jada, she slept with the wrong young man. I’m not sure about any of what people say that will does, because he is always traveling with a group of people, plus Jada’s brother has worked for him has his right hand man for a very long time. So I can’t say and I won’t say. But I have been following swagger c for a long time now and I don’t think he will last in this, simple because he is always trying to impress people. Very Braggadocious guy, so this is very shocking to me that they are even on here. The trading community can be very harsh if they don’t like you, and he has a lot of haters. They will just use this against him in all of the wrong ways. I hope they can handle any negativity that may backfire on him within his work community. People just don’t know how to keep their business to themselves at all nowadays.

[@pryncessdi9358]

You don't know anything about Will, his first wife stated that his ideology of marriage and lifestyle was something she couldn't handle. Will is very much non traditional, that's why their children are very explorative because he encourages non traditional roles. Will also has had and probably has still has an outside relationship from Jada. This has been spoken about when he was outed with several women including one of his co-stars. Jada and Will both want and live an open relationship. They both love their strong partnership and don't believe in divorce, although they do want that space to explore with someone else.

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@pryncessdi9358 you clearly don’t know what you are talking about, because his ex is very much in the church and you never know what a bible thumper means when they say someone has a different lifestyle. That could literally mean that person drinks too much or wants to party all the time, or they hang around people that they don’t feel their spouse should be hanging around, regardless of how good or bad those people are. Please open up your mind. The women literally married a pastor, that explains it all. Will isn’t big in the church space and that’s what she wanted for her life. But Will has always talked about how he loves traditional marriage and the traditional way of raising kids. Jada was the one that let them kids be so free spirited. Will never really understood it. He has spoken plenty of times about trying to discipline them to work hard and not give up and Jada always got in the middle of that. Where have you been??? Did you watch his series when he was writing his book? He talked about most of it there. But I had already been aware of this because I watch a lot of his past interviews before he started his KZbin channel. Also his behavior on the red table talk and the things that he said to her was very telling. He gave up on their marriage awhile ago, because she acted as if she didn’t want to be married to him causing issues for no reason. Even her own damn mother was speaking about it. It all boiled down to jada being ungrateful, unsatisfied, and unhappy, because of her own selfish desires. Mind you I love me some Will and Jada, but unfortunately she has been the problem since day one. Ask her mom 😐.

[@lolaispure4296]

​@@MF-pk2gf i agree

[@imanikimm]

This was so awkward. They have a lot to work on before they open a relationship. I wish them both the best.

[@OGBlaka]

She threw him a bone and he never let go of it 😂

[@northjay3262]

One thing that gets to me is that these two keeps saying that pressure from society is the reason why Chris had to focus all of his attention into giving his wife the life she deserves but they’re aren’t bringing up the FACT that it’s BAILEY who actually tipped the scale for Chris . I’ve been a fan of Chris for a while now and I remember very clearly in one of his videos. he said his wife gave him a heated (but necessary) lecture/argument about getting his sh*t back together, the intensity of that lecture/ argument according to Chris is the reason why he had to neglect everything and focus solely on chasing his bag 💰 She’s the reason why swaggy turned into a workaholic. !!! she made him a distant introvert by design, she needs to women up and deal with that instead of finding external love & satisfaction to fill the void they created Link to the video bellow :

[@northjay3262]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/p5rSlJRqjcx5qpI&feature=shares

[@northjay3262]

@6:10 into the video he starts talking about the conversation. This is just evidence that shows that Swaggy didn’t care much about pressure from society. The pressure from his wife is the thing that triggered his “f*ck it, I’m going all in” mindset … Same way . That’s the same pressure that’s gonna make him to agree with participating in this THING his wife now wants But here’s the kicker, she pressured him into giving trading his all and as a result he fell in love with it more and gave it more attention than her !! She’s gonna pressure him into an open marriage and HE might also fall in love with it more and end up giving more love to his New Romantics than to his wife 😂😂 guess who’s going to get hurt & run to this podcast about it ? 💀🤷🏽‍♂️

[@laineychadbourne1273]

This girl really a master manipulator

[@armellebeautyofficial]

I'm curious as to what makes you say this?

[@illgiveyouthesun]

nah swaggy just lets her do whatever she wants….it’s like a partner who won’t choose what they want for dinner and is like “you decide” 🙄

[@c.edales740]

I agree

[@michilove6554]

I'm probably going to sound judgemental, but I feel that he's a selfless person n she's selfish. I relate to him being a person who's fine being isolated from others. It appears that he is truly not open to it but he's willing to sacrifice what he wants to please her. I just don't see this working out if he goes along with it. I'm a jealous person so this kind of life is not for me. I have had many friends n family members who were poly or CNM n I tell u it ended up being a bad situation. One of the ppl in the relationship always ended up hurt bc one partner started loving the other person they brought in to the relationship, n the other partner felt left out. For some of them, one partner left n ended up with the other person. I've seen too much negativity involved with these relationships. Had I ever seen them turn out positive, maybe I'd feel different. I know for a fact I wouldn't be involved bc I'm ending it as soon as the guy steps out. He better hope that's all I do lol.

[@skgsinc1833]

Damn never knew Swaggy was a simp, what a shame this interview really did his image dirty.

[@katarinabaez504]

Chris is a great man, I hope continues to let God lead his life and not fall into something hes not really into

[@teresamarie7460]

She needs to put this energy into learning how to become an awesome mother.

[@missbritt1986]

And wife!

[@sexyma12345678910]

This has absolutely nothing to do with her as a mother , annoying

[@lolaispure4296]

​@@sexyma12345678910 it actually does. Her lifestyle absolutely affects the family structure. Kids are not little dolls posing for a portrait. They have feelings and emotions. If their dad lives in denial and resents their mom, they will be affected by that dynamic. But whatever honestly. Its his fault for not telling her what he really feels.

[@teresamarie7460]

@@sexyma12345678910 Mothering takes time. IF you're mothering you won't have time to focus on another person who did not create this LIFE with you. Mothering (parenting) your own children will allow parents to hone wisdom, discernment, empathy, patience, and enthusiasm thereby instilling these qualities in your children. Placing your children as early as six weeks old in daycares and babysitters all day long is an agreement with yourselves that you will never master parenting to understand and predict your children's behaviors. Also, parenting is a career just like any other profession. However, you must learn it exceptionally so you don't put lives in jeopardy. #school, work place, club shootings

[@teresamarie7460]

@@sexyma12345678910 You have likes because these people don't realize the seriousness of mothering just like you and her...

[@babystrokessr]

It’s clear as day she run the relationship, which is why she wanna step out (probably does on the low)

[@Pam836]

People are sick these days Just be happy with one person And if you can’t ,get out of relationship

[@valerieg1980]

SHAN!!!!!! I just saw your episode of Catfish. I purchased the episode to support you GF. Luv you!

[@idi.h5460]

I feel sorry for him, she’s extremely self centred

[@ojvic7297]

Exactly

[@lexd9805]

Praying for a swaggy c type of guy in my life. Claiming it!

[@imo.124]

I hope she understands that she can lose him in this. A lot of us want a Swaggy type of guy. I hope she opens her eyes to what type of man she has and he seems like a really good. I just don't see a lot of these types of guys on the dating scene. I understand she wants to be happy but I hope she knows what the real risk is. He doesn't seem super excited about this but that can change if he meets a Woman he connects with and has a lot in common with.

[@bhp000]

There are plenty of weak men who would be cucks today. Not hard to find. Just walk outside 😂

[@banginzaza]

Plenty of soft men out there for you. You can't keep a real one 😂

[@selenagaytan2593]

I’m not sure if an open marriage is ideal for them and they may seem uneasy throughout this but they don’t owe us explanations or reasons so more power to them for talking about their issues

[@bubblebellaful]

To be entirely honest, it just sounds like Bayleigh is immature and bored. She has shiny toy syndrome. It sounds less like she is capable of loving multiple people, and more like she enjoys being loved, admired and enamoured by multiple people. This is why she's hesitant to open things up until she has someone lined up. Unless she grows up, she will always be seeking that validation from a new shiny toy. She doesn't need an open marriage at this time. She needs a job, hobbies, and/or some friends - to help her recognize that you can cultivate fulfilling relationships that are not necessarily romantic, which still fill your cup. I'm almost certain that if/when Swaggy begins to express sincere interest/admiration in someone else or begins to dote on another woman, her tune will change. My 2 cents.

[@digthewarmth]

9:23 exactly, in these examples, your job isn't enough for you. Having one kid isn't enough for you. Just be honest your partner isn't enough for you either. She's trying to sugar coat it, but it is what it is. She and Jared both agreed that at some point their partner might not be enough, and they are letting each other go after more to fill gaps.

[@zoecarter3646]

Yes Jared and shan just be so brutally honest and I love it bc I find when pple try to sugar coat shyt it goes down hill. I feel this couple needs to realize they got trouble ahead. All couples do tho

[@californiumcoati]

Oh honey…this was a terrible idea. Praying for Swaggy C because this is a nightmare. Once open marriage is on the table, it’s the beginning of the end.