Lub Kua Muag Poob Vim Yug Ua Neb Tub. 12/31/2019

Lub Kua Muag Poob Vim Yug Ua Neb Tub.
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[@yahookv15]

I’m a divorced Hmong woman, but my kids live with me and I support them all the way. Their father left all responsibility to me, but I have no qualms. Divorce is not a bad thing. My kids and I are a lot happier without him in our lives. My kids future in laws have no problems with us being divorced. In the world we live in now it doesn’t matter if you come from divorced parents. You and your spouse make your life the way you want it. Divorce is not inherited, it is a decision.

[@shuavheu2992]

Loser parents and elders! You and your wife keep on living and loving each other. You two have proven your families’ elders wrong. Love those who love you unconditionally and are there for you. Even though your parents gave you life, they don’t deserve your love because they’ve never been parents to you. I’m happy and proud of you and your wife. Your wife and children are the only people who deserve your love.

[@maomvanglo]

Preach it brother! I agree with you because I am in the same boat but remember that at the end of thr day it boils down to you and your wife. Love each other and don't walk down the path our parents did. Stay strong because us that comes from broken homes are the strongest people. What I mean by strongest people is we learn from our parents mistakes and make our life better for our kids and ourselves.

[@dub2465]

I understand how the families r feeling but everyone needs to stop judging. It’s not the children’s faults. Support instead of giving judgement all the time. Shame on the parents who neglected their own children for their own selfishness!

[@maivang8072]

Zoo kawg nebtsis yuam kev kiag li nawb tsis2 hlub xwb kom lawv khib2 xwb

[@YajMorey81]

OGs are so small minded. I feel sorry for kids whose parents are divorced and how people look down on them. Blame should only be on the parents not their kids.

[@mali8590]

Make sure you both hold onto each other. Life isn’t easy and ppl will never make your life easier. Love each other and make it best for yourselves. If your parents don’t love you, they don’t deserve you guys. Many of us children still live this life and struggle. I hear it everyday, even though I have married a husband who has his parents still together. Nothing is ever perfect. Just taking it day by day.

[@Gosinyanglee]

Tu siab ua luaj li os hmoob..

[@yeebntshachannel9254]

Tej Laus no twb tsis xav hais tias yus niam yus txiv sib nrauj sib tso tag es Luag tej muaj niam muaj txiv khov khwb kho es lawv puas yuav yuav yus thiab na Los !

[@bluewhisper5008]

Yup. My parents always tell us don't go and marry cov menyuam niam txiv sib nrauj vim lawv phem tsis muaj neeg qhuab qhia.

[@siavang5637]

Tej laus ces lub paj hlwb tseem nyob teb chaws nplog os. Tsis muaj kev kawm tsis paub txhawb tej menyuam lub zog. Peb txheej menyuam no yuav tau hloov tus cwj pwm nawd, thiaj muaj kev vam rau lub neej pem suab.

[@annevang-lo3015]

I agree that our Hmong elder and even the first generation in America still judge harshly. Being from a divorced family or have been divorced regardless of age, they still judge and make up lies about those divorcee or children from a broken family. Looking forward to changes from our younger generation. Such a sad story.

[@xelor1592]

Tej lus uas niam tais thiab yawm txiv thiab pog lawv hais yog ib qho uas yuav ua rau neb lub neej ruaj khov xwb txhob tu siab txhob ntxub nawb kav tsij zoo siab xwb os

[@neejkhuamsiabyang2944]

VIM neb 2 tog niam tej txiv tag kev cia siab rau neb niam nej txiv coj tsis zoo ua ntej yeej muaj tiag 80% cov niam cov txiv coj tsis zoo ces tej me tub me nyuam yeej muaj tus kwj pwm ib yam thiab .

[@LM-755]

Welcome back May! I've been waiting for your stories. Love listening to you! Two day is too long for me. 😉Haha...Thank you for your hard work.

[@HmongStory]

Thank you for being supported my stories.

[@lalalalavuuu69]

Same here! Every morning and afternoon, during my commute to work.

[@katlee2297]

Nyias muaj nyias kev xav. Nyias peem nyias thiaj muaj nuj nqis. Kuv cov mes nyuam tsis muaj kev tus siab thiaj tsis muaj kev khws. Marriag is no one’s responsibilities but one’s own responsibilities. Better to divorce than to end both parents dead.

[@saykaomee]

The parents are hypocrites. What made them think well off and stable families would accept broken families as in-laws? Neeg tsis ntshai thiab thuam cov mi nyuam, lawv ntshai thiab thuam nej niam thiab thiab txiv.

[@kenxiong1899]

peb cov hmoob mas txawj txawj ua saub kawg li nawb yog koj niam koj txiv quav yeb los yog raug nkuaj lawm ces koj txawm yuav kawm tau ua doctor los lawv yeej tsis nyiam koj kiag li nawb no yog peb hmoob ib txwm xav li thiab tsis txawj xav

[@seelee2592]

Yus yuav tus txom nyem li yus es thiaj li hlub yus os ob leeg mam li khwv thiaj li yog ob leeg li muaj nqis rau neb os li os. Sib tau lawm ces sib2 hlub xwb ces zoo lawm os.

[@skydive110]

Beautiful story sister

[@beeyushon9788]

Good decision to finish school n back to a family by yourselves. Parents love to bring problems to children 4 their own problems. Stay away from these problems makers. . Why giving so much $$$$ to this homeless father. Let him work hard n struggle 2 get his own $$$. He will learn gd lesson n appreciate u all. Should I be fair 2 both parents by giving equally whatever 2 both parents.

[@myyearmouanoutoua6908]

Koj kuj phem ib yam koj niam thiab koj Pog lawv thiab

[@minecraftboy2676]

May, thank you so much. I miss your telling stories. I have been waiting for you these couple days and it seems like forever!! Welcome back. Thank you!!!

[@xiameevang9131]

Happy New Year to you and your family May, I wish you all the blessing come true with lots of prosperous .

[@user-wy9us9vq9n]

May God bless you and your family. Don’t believe Hmong people’s mouth. Believe who you are. Focus on your life. God bless!!

[@beaxiong5260]

peb cov niam txiv hmoob tsi txawj xav. the parents dont know how to bless their children with love and happiness. why blame the divorce on the kids? it's not the the kids' fault. Peb cov niam txiv hmoob yuav tau hloov lub siab kom loj thiab dav rau tej menyuam txoj kev hlub thiab. dont feel sad brother. do what you gonna do. May God bless u both.

[@vamtxosyang8069]

Neb ua tau ib tug zoo qauv rau txoj kev sib hlub rau tiam no. Yog hais tsis yog neb ces ntshe twb sib pus mus noj tshuaj tuag lawm. Cov hluas txheej niam no yuav tau muab neb tus qauv no coj lo sib hlub thiaj yeej tej niam txiv txoj niag cai qub2 75 rov hauv.

[@2009SUJU]

Tsis pub menyuam sib yuav es pheej yuav kom menyuam nrhiav tus muaj niam muaj txiv khov kho xwb no es lawm hnub lawv sib ceg ces lawv saib tsis tau yus tus menyuam os thaum ntawb lawv yuav cem mob tshaj nawb

[@jervang6706]

Lub Apple yeej poob tsis deb ntawm tsob ntoo kiag nawb koj poj Niam neb nas. Neb los yeej tawv kawg nkaus txog qhov mus yuav tsev ua ke lawm mam sib yuav tom qab. 27 years ago Hmong culture is more stricted than now and you two doing all you did 27 seven years ago.... you better prepare for your kids; one of them might turn out to be like you!

[@tsis-k-koj]

Typical hmong way of thinking. So 19th century 🤦‍♂️

[@pvp503]

So true, you are right son..this is how hmong likes to judge other people, always criticize but the end always claim the credit. That’s so mess up parent.

[@ugahua2096]

Niam laus koj cov neej neeg hais tau zoo tiag

[@caaspasvang7427]

Me tub nawv neb khaus lawv cov lus cem ko rau neb lub hlwb es sib2 hlub nawv mog

[@monmikaysai8574]

Wow you look extra beautiful today, happy New Year’s Eve!!! 🥳🥂

[@minecraftboy2676]

That's why, never force anyone to marry just anybody and not only that, but closed relatives, that's too just too close. That is what my mom told when I was younger.

[@naabsas1]

Tug tub hab tus ntxhais kws muaj mam muaj txiv, mam txiv yeej tsi kaam yuav mej tug tub hab mej tug ntxhais.

[@yeethao7700]

Koj hais dab neeg zoo kawg Tab sis thaum koj kiag koj no koj muab hlo dhau lawm tib neeg txawb nqa koj Tab sis muab hlo dhau lawm os

[@bliathao5878]

koj ua tau zoo kawg lawm os mog koj ob tog niam txiv tsi tsim nyog los sib thuam zoo los zoo ib yam phem los phem ib yam es tseem los sib thuam no txaj muag pob ob tog twb sib nrauj ib yam naj yom

[@zongyang779]

wow this is the 1st hmong man who i actually heard and tell his wife that he love her in public

[@touyang8040]

I think u have been in the dark for too long, don't label all mans just because ..

[@Not_Piro]

Fisrt wow! You've been sleeping

[@gabrielleyamblia4597]

👍👍👍👍 ua tsaug ntau hais tau zoo

[@Loves_DuckSR]

Wow. Just wow. These parents.

[@drkashmedicalandlife]

Our elders do not know how to choose their words. Parents from both sides mainly focus on the negatives, rarely praise and expect the world from their kids. There are many good parents who would gladly give thei lives for their children however there are an equal number that are self seeking and all for themselves. Sad world.

[@nkaujhmoobtojsiab2603]

yog lawv hais li ntawv mas lawv cov laus yeej ua neej zoo mas lawv thiaj li muaj cai hais li rau neb cov laus twb tsis tsim txiaj es lawv hos xav kom neb tsim txiaj no lawv ua tsis yog lawm neb lub neej thiaj li sib phim hos vim neb niam neb txiv twb tsis tsim txiaj es luag tus tub tsim txiaj luag lam pub yuav koj na luag tus ntxhais tsim txiaj luag yeej tsis pub yuav koj na neb sib xaiv tau sib phim lawv

[@neejkhuamsiabyang2944]

Cas kuv hlub ..kuv cov me nyuam tshaj peb sib nrauj mas kuv txeeb ..kuv tus me nyuam niag txiv tsis pub rau kuv mas kuv hlub thiab nco ,, tshaj nim rov qab mus xyuas ntau los lawv cem...kuv kawg li. Vim li cas ib txhia poj niam es yuav ua tau siab tawv kawg !! li tej tug poj niam siab tawv .yug me nyuam tsis mob plab li.

[@mayyang4756]

I hope you will be happy and bring joy to your children. Good luck!!

[@sayhau1157]

Tu siab kawg os tij laug aw

[@hliyaj1220]

Brother, yog koj muab ua zoo xav mas yeej yog li tej laus hais koj. Vim tej laus hlub koj es thiaj li hais rau koj thiab txiav koj. Yog tej laus tsis ua npaum ntawd, koj lub neej yeej tsis zoo txog li no thiab.

[@aleelee1229]

Cov laus no lam txwv2 yus lub neej xwb, tus lawv xai2 rau lawv tus tub tus ntxhais twb ua neej tsis kawg ntsis thiab ne. Lawv lam yog neeg laus xwb, lawm yeej tsis yog saub, lawv yeej tsis pom tom ntej 100%. Yus lub neej yuav zoo yuav tsum yog los ntawm yus thiab yus tus poj niam ob leeg txiav txim siab yuav los sib hlub sib xeem sib kho nrog luag leem leej leem tus kom kawg mus nto ntsis. You just have to prove them wrong. As for you, you did very good and should be proud of yourself.

[@xeevyimvaj4618]

niam ntsua fee yaj lo yo mev vaj ua ca tu siab hee li o nyob zoo xyooj ntsia no ko sas daw noj nyob zoo mu ya to te naw mo

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

Yus xaiv tsis tau los yug tiam sis twb xaiv tau yus lub neej hnub no mus rau yav pem suab es cas pheej yuav hais qhov tu siab tu siab tu siab. Tu siab dabtsi na? Twb hais tias tsis care leej twg no nev? Los yog lam hais xwb es yeej care tib neeg tej lus tej opinions heev ma.

[@kellyvue974]

Peb hmoob yeej tsis txawj hais lus bless nws cov menyuam. Ua yog nyiaj hlub hais lus foom xwb.

[@chungsouher4022]

Lub neej tiam no tsi yog keeb kwm los yog caj ces lawm, tus yuav xav nrauj ces yuav nrauj txawm yuav nrauj xwb. Yog li ntawd yog tias neb khub nkauj nraug sib hlub lawm kav tsij npaj lub neej kawm kom tiav es cia li sib yuav xwb tsi txhob mloog tej niag laus ntawd tej lus lawm os mog. But keev in mind don't divorce that will make their words became true.

[@meexiong9292]

Thaum tej niam tej txiv nyob tsis Taus ua lawm Los txhob tu Siab o hmoob .vim ntshe lawv twb UA neej Lwj Lwj Siab kawg li lawm o

[@nkaujhmoobthao583]

Tim cov laus Xb os vim yog cov laus tsis Txawj sib hlub Xb ntxub cov laus no dhau lawm os 😢

[@memeuuhang5443]

I agree with everything you say at the end.

[@kouthao4532]

Koj txiv tuag mus zoo dua nyob los hnyav av..!!

[@youwatchme3631]

Qhov zoo neb niam neb txiv tso tseg txhob hlub lawv. Neeg tsis hlub tub ntsuag tiamsis Vajtswv yeej tsis pub tub ntsuag tuag. Mus church brother

[@Phouavang123]

Ntawm yog zoo li no es thiaj ua tsi tau poj nrauj li Lou.

[@mnhmongtiamno269]

Cov laus los lus twb hais tias pob zeb tsis nias taub hau no nev. Vim lis cas tsis txhawb tej tub tej ntxhais es pheej yuav txo xwb??? Zoo siab tias tej zaj zoo li no yuav ua rau ib tsoom niam txiv thiab mog yawg coj mus xav saib puas yuav txawj hloov.

[@jokomo8327]

Man, everyone in this earth has different timeline. We each has a unique story. You already figure out and act on and the change, the twist the turn. There are good and bad but embrace them. Every journey always has a downside but your education, you have the core stability that make you unshakeable no matter what happen. You should be able to take the good with the bad. Everything happen for a reason so it is to you to maximize the reality of your situation. Everything is count so try not to compare it to anyone else. Accept it. Believe in it. As you go out into the world, don’t waste time on problem that already solved. Look for the rough spots. Those places that you will find your purpose. Turn your fear into excitement and change them. There is no beginning without an end, no day without night and no life without death. life is consists of the difference. Always bring things to an end to make the magic of new beginning. So don’t just love only yourself because you will serve only yourself and have only yourself so no winner. Instead, try to love others and serve others and believe it or not, you will find out those who you love will serve you in return. Today, live the life that you prepare to live but always remember those who had no opportunity as you do.

[@waffle9659]

Why do people so against divorce parents and always label them bad examples.

[@lyyang5779]

Happy New Year to your family May Vang😇

[@pntravels7514]

Do not take your mom maum dev and your dad txiv dev back in your life they were not there for you

[@tongyang6314]

Me tub aw...cas koj pog, koj niam thiab koj tus hluas nkauj niam yuav tsis txaj muag li es tseem muaj ntsej muag los txwv neb thiab na, twb tsis yog leej twg yuam kom lawv sib nrauj na, lawv twb paub li ntawv cas lawv tsis sib yuav twj ywm. Kuv mloog xwb kuv twb pab2 lawv 3 tug no txaj muag dhau lawm cas lawv tsis paub txaj muag li os....tim lawv cov ntsej muag laus no xwb ntag, kuv tsis qhuas lawv kiag li nawb.

[@younglee3915]

AMEN!!!!

[@leeher7961]

Happy early New Year to u May. Hope u have a wonderful life.

[@lisvajhuam3553]

Xaij npais dis pis maij 6 koj tsev neeg Sd nawb niam ntsuab teev txhua yam xav tau Kom tau txais

[@HiTuab]

og think they will shed skin every time they want. lol

[@nraughmoobmekas9111]

Ua cas kv tsis tau mloog kj tau 2 hnub no lawm no kj tsis paub tias kv to 2 kj no los niam ntsuab teev aw

[@oliviayang449]

Cov niag hmoob laus no mas cas yuav ntxim ntxub ua luaj. Lawv hais lus li lawv yuav tsis txawj tuag thiab yuav tsis txawj muaj mob es yuav tsis rov los tab kaum yus.

[@diannaxiong693]

YOG IB TUS NIAM TSEV ZOO ZOO CES YUS YEEJ PAUB YUS COV MENYUAM TEJ # TAG LAWM MOG...

[@MariaBaokaliaCha]

Happy New Year!!!!!!

[@pntravels7514]

Cov niag hmoov ruam li ruam tsis paub sib hais sib uv thiaj li sib sib nrauj. Ruam!

[@neeguazogchannel]

Ntuj dub ntuj txig xb os

[@laolao4713]

Twb paub tias yus xav kom yus tej tub tej ntxhais tau lub neej muaj niam muaj txiv thiab no cas ob niag dev laus ntawv ho txawj sib nrauj thiab ne

[@xeevyimvaj4618]

ສະບາຍດີ ປີ ໃໜ່ ເດີ້ ທູກ ຄົນ ຢູ່ ອາເມລິກາ ລືວ່າ ຢູ່ລາວ ຂໍໃຫັພົດແນວ ດີດີ້ ຕໍໄປເດີ້ ປີໃໜ່ນີ້ນະ ຢາກໄດັອີຫຍັງ ກໍຕອ້ງໄດັນາ ທຸກຢາງເນີ ໂຊກດີ ບາຍ ໆໆ

[@kiavang7862]

You so pretty here

[@user-wy9us9vq9n]

Txhob saib tsis taus tej hluas nim no vim lawv ntse tshaj peb lawm. Kev ua ntsuag xwb txhob ntshai. Ntshai tus neeg phem xwb. Txhob ntxub tej menyuam ntsuag.

[@pliayang783]

Txhob tu siab neb lub neej twb zoo2 lawm Kav tsij sib2 hlub rau lawv ntsia. Proof them wrong.Peb Hmoob txoj kev xav li neb niam thiab txiv lawv mas xav tau ruam tshaj plaws.

[@user-wy9us9vq9n]

I’m mad at both side parents. No love, no courage for the children. Don’t pick a face but pick a heart instead.

[@mailorvang4470]

Yog cov laus tsis hais npaum li no rau neb ces tej zaum neb lub neej twb tsis zoo li no tsim nyog neb yuav tsum paub es txhob tu siab

[@hmooblubneejic4703]

A couple married in a desperate situation and brace about eight in law and call it a good one. This is a garbage story. I call it a tragic life story of hmong people.

[@laolao4713]

Niag niam tais ntawv nws puas xav tias tsam nkim nws niam lub zog yug nws thiab no ne yus twb txawj2 hais yus tej tub tej ntxhais es yus ho tsis nco qab txaj muag rau yus tus kheej thiab ne

[@pntravels7514]

Cov niag Hmoob ruam no ua cas muaj sib nrauj sib tso coob ua luaj li os txhob yug me nyuam los txom txom nyem li no os Hmoob ruam

[@meemeezong1827]

I don’t understand Hmong people. So quick to pass judgment on others and they don’t know how to love.

[@leevue8868]

Cas yuav ruam ua luaj li os. Cas yus tseem yuav rov qab thuam yus tus kheej. Ruam tiag tiag

[@tfyyang3116]

hmoob cas yuav phem ua luaj os nej yuav muab nej cov txim pov rau2tug hluas no hais rau cov niam cov txiv sib nrauj ntawv tsim nyog nej yuav tau qhia nkawv ua neej nav es nej tseem yuav rhuav nkawv txoj kev hlub thiab txhob tu siab nawb tus kwv lub neej yog koj tus tswj txhua yam yuav tau ua lub siab ntev

[@kouavang5928]

Brother, divorce always happens. It is not same as your parents. Now many Hmong divorced parents understand; and many kids also don't depend on their divorced parents, as you do anymore. So your story is little out of date now.

[@lisvajhuam3553]

Tus niam tais zoo li ko ces tso paus 6 xwb os neb lub neej twb zoo niam tais twb tau neb kauv tes yaim lawm mam qhuas ces tawg paus rau xwb tsis Kay

[@maimoua4647]

Kuv xav ask koj tus niam tais your in law hais tias ua li nws puas yog poj nrauj es nws ho yuav mus cem luag tus sab nraum me niam tais cas koj g muab koj yav niag ntoo hauv qhov muag tawm tso mam mus muab luag daim blais ntoo hauv luag qhov muag meb

[@xuethao0repetition307]

Koj pog ruam li nrawv thiaj yug tau koj txiv ruam li koj pog thiab es cas tseem yuav vam cov muaj niam muaj txi khov kho na hos koj niag hluas nkauj niam los yeej ruam kawg nkaus thiab ua cas pheej vam luag lwm tus los txhawb nqa yus tus na yus yog hom twg ces nrhiav tau hom ntawv xwb las as tus zoo yeej tsis yuav yus li os

[@gaosayvu5611]

Tej niam txiv sib nrauj es ho muab lub txim rau tej menyuam ris, ruam tiag2 lau, ua neeg nyias muaj nyias siab nyias ntsws, nej twb tsis ua li nej niam nej txiv ua thiab nev puas yog?

[@chaivue4167]

The OGs in this story are a joke. Dad asking son for $ so he can get married. Asking kids for SSN to claim as tax dependent to get more money. All this after years of neglect and abandonment.

[@651LYS]

Peb Hmoob cov hypocrites ces coob li coob xwb los yus tsis pom yam yus ua tsis zoo li. Yog peb xaiv cov tsis nrauj poj nrauj sev, es xav tau cov zoo zoo los mus ua taus colonel xwb ua cas yus ho tsis sawv los ua kiag? Hmoob siab phem dhau lawm os.

[@alenalor1432]

Uag! Ua cas neb tseem mus hais rau lawv tias neb yuav them nyiaj rau Lawv no naj. Neb twb sib nyiam neb lawm, yog lawv kam thiab txaus siab ua neb rooj tshoob rau neb, neb mam them ,yog lawv tsis txaus siab. rau neb thiab tsis kam ua tshoob rau neb ces haujlwm tiav li ntawd lawm xwb. Neb tseem yuav mus lees them nqi ua dab tsi naj. Hnub twg yog lawv leej twg lees ua tshoob rau thiab phijpob phijcuam rau neb, neb mam them. Tsis lig, tsis li ntawd ces nyob taus taus tsis quav ntsej leej twg li xwb. Qhov nov yog txojcai uas ntug ntoob ( legally).

[@akulathao4654]

Brother! You need to talk back to those stupid old people’s! If you don’t talk back to them, them will never respect you.

[@mayxiong9749]

These old people are too evil. They only believe in their evil ways. They will not have a mind to understand the real happiness

[@wisteria4550]

Sib hlub sib sib nco, sib tau lawm sib sib hlub mas thiaj tsim nyog. Cov es tej laus tsis pom zoo es nws mas nrhiav txhua txoj kev kom mus cuag tau. Nws hais tias yog tuag muaj ntxa mas ntshe nws yuav niaj hnub mus quaj nyiav plhws ntxa tuaj tsis taus nyom kiag. Thaum tau lawm, ib los los ncaws, ob los los rho nrig hais. Stupid Shit. Cas Ntxwg Nyoos tsis coj mus dab teb es coj mus ntaus cov dab phem phem ne.

[@cocopha5778]

Cov niag laus siab phem

[@victoriacha3565]

Bad parents, and grandparents.

[@kongfue6185]

L]

[@acrnfrozengalaxy2338]

Twb yog tim cov niag laus pheej sib nrauj es lawv ua lawv teeb meem pheej muab los rau neb ris tsov tom hmoob ruam

[@liloallena]

Your mother and father are only blood, they are not even parents. Your grandparents and wife's parents are also worthless! Glad you're happy with your wife, it's love between the two of you that matters. Long live your lives.

[@franher4022]

So narrow minded and foolish of the grandparents. They don’t realize they are not divorced and end up with divorced kids and now punish the grandkids along with the great grandchildren. Talking shit about your kids/grandchildren is like talking shit about yourself!

[@meysaelee7827]

Son going to be like dad. Daughter going to be like mom. That's very true!

[@jervang6706]

Mey Saelee I agreed

[@mayxiong9749]

That's not true. You still have the mind of the real evil Hmong. Maybe you should have a more open minded. Learn to be like other race. Happiness belong to everyone

[@kouavang5928]

Brother you confused me. Koj hais tias txhob tu siab, tiam sis koj hos hais tias tu tu siab heev. Yog tu siab ces hais tias tu siab. Txhob muaj qhov excuse hais tias txhob tu siab. You are so stupid in giving your father $2000 for his own wedding when he did not even support you. Confused people will always going to do confusing thing. Make up your mind. You already decided to leave both your and your wife's family to live together and without a formal wedding, why the hack you keep going back to them for them to use you again and again. You are the victim and will continue to be victim, unless and until you forget these people, including your abusive parents.