Luke, did I ever tell you about Jango Fett?

Luke watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett. Did I ever tell you l fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senators room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms not the robot in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us up with a rocket or something then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s diner on Coruscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.

[@boeingnz]

"Is it possible to learn this confusing chain of command?" "Not from a Jedi"

[@LintWizard]

I dunno: I think he explained it pretty well.

[@hafor2846]

It's not confusing, it's just dumb.

[@russianoverkill3715]

Jedi are better than this

[@babbisp1]

​@@hafor2846 So for the purpose of assassinating Padme, Nute Gunrey hired Jango Fett, who in turn hired a shapeshifting assassin, who in turn bought a robot, which in turn bought bugs? If you dont find it confusing you can explain it to me

[@hafor2846]

@@babbisp1 It's not confusing, it's just dumb.

[@TomH2681]

"Also Padmé was your mother. That completely fucking slipped my mind. I'm old, Luke."

[@wellesradio]

There needs to be a Princess Bride framing device for the prequels with Old Ben telling Luke these stories and Luke totally calling him on the implausibility of it all.

[@cameleopard42]

@@wellesradio I would watch the Prequels again if someone did that.

[@Adz2]

And she was murdered by your sith father Darth Vader

[@CleverGirlAAH]

And Darth Vader made C3PO back there. Say hi, Threepio!

[@jamesbutler8821]

And don't kiss your sister!

[@mattlavine]

The bugs actually used their payment to buy a very slow-acting poison which they successfully introduced into Padmé's body. Three years later, she was dead, seemingly for no reason (or an incredibly stupid reason), but actually it was the poison. Another successful mission for Jango Fett!

[@orochifire]

"idk, I guess it was a broken heart or something, I'm a doula, not a doctor. "

[@nintendianajones64]

She died cause she got her period She was a good friend

[@TheRealKaiProton]

That could of been a great twist of the plot, that pushed annakin over the edge, feeling like his failure caused her death, giving luke and leia an immunity to the poison

[@shmazy86]

😂

[@Silly_Illidan]

Jango fett 'head' no idea he already 'head' the high ground

[@g0nk_droid]

“She could have been a good friend in disguise” fucking kills me

[@Sehon13Ultd]

Wait why

[@manu_val]

@@Sehon13Ultd because she wasn't a good friend, but could have been, duh

[@Sehon13Ultd]

@@manu_val yeah I don’t get the joke

[@manu_val]

@@Sehon13Ultd "he was a good friend" is a meme, a catchphrase if you like. so saying "she could have been a good friend" is making fun of that.

[@bigol9223]

​@@Sehon13Ultd because if she can change her form then she could have just changed to imitate a friend Padmé trusts and then wouldn't even have to sneak around, just go straight to her and kill her.

[@tcoi1872]

1:25 I like how he says "or blowing us up with a rocket or something" it's so casual and so passive agressive upon Jango's intelligence

[@customsongmaker]

More like George's intelligence, and the fans of the movie

[@paulp9274]

As the Joker says 'when you're good at something, never do it for free.' Jango wasn't being paid to kill Anakin or Obi-Wan. Not to mention, Palpatine may have explicitly ordered Dooku not to harm Anakin, since he was going with the whole 'corrupt him to the Dark Side' plan.

[@JoeNasr123]

Actually he said “blowing us” 😅

[@Studiosmediamilk]

The "and he was a good friend" gets me everytime.

[@emperor_ivan]

The good friend in disguise thing was brilliant lmfao

[@hameed]

It’s the gift that keeps on giving

[@mikeexits]

It's literally true too, because of the clones and all that. Jango was innumerable good friends, indeed.

[@daniellipko710]

The only thing he ever did was try to kill us and we cut off his head. And he was a good friend

[@jimmyzhao2673]

Whoa ! Plot Twist

[@Galamoth06]

I love the cut to Luke looking genuinely distraught upon learning that Jango Fett escaped with his tiny jetpack. He was so invested in that story.

[@mark9294]

He looked more shy I would say

[@fryliver4953]

He looked more bored than anything wanting to get away from his crazy Uncles stories

[@howdypartner8326]

It looked like he exhaled out of his nose with amusement, as if Jango taking off with his tiny jetpack was funny to him.

[@russellelliott8097]

I interpreted that as him laughing cuz he couldn’t take the man seriously.

[@sethjoyce]

I took it as "okay, good story, I'm gonna get back to the house- shit..."

[@jozefmasny8349]

The senator was your mother, Luke.

[@Hasbola1709]

And she was a good friend 😉

[@AscendingGuru]

I guess someone knew how to take advantage of the lazy security

[@aurex8937]

@@Hasbola1709 Sometimes more than a friend.

[@thibaud1832]

"I saw her vagina, Luke. I saw it as you and your sister came out of it. I think about it quite often. And she was a good friend"

[@eagleowl833]

Luke, did I ever tell you about padme amidala?😏

[@user-vq3kw3ze3f]

Luke almost walking out of the room mid story is priceless

[@gibsonchomar7428]

That was the best part😂😂😂

[@iczev]

I can only imagine Luke being like" Okay, but tf is a 50's diner??"

[@dermond]

"cheeseburgers? Malt shakes??

[@craigrussell3062]

"The 50s are a decade that will happen a long long time from now in a galaxy far far away"

[@Rowebot15]

You pay in 50 Dollar bills, boy. Der.

[@gobblox38]

It's a diner where everything is just 50 credits. It's a good deal in that part of the city.

[@PelicanOfDeath]

Fif-Tee's Diner. It's a franchise.

[@sherrifdan8621]

"But it already bought the bugs" just kills me

[@the_koschi]

Best line!!

[@lnsflare1]

But not Padme.

[@FrithonaHrududu02127]

That's the funniest line

[@SeanFlaherty]

an example of the sunk cost fallacy

[@Rhiorrha]

I swear, that assassination mission became nothing more than subcontractors subcontracting subcontractors of progressively declining levels of competence.

[@durrclips746]

Didn't this happen in real life? Like in Mexico or something. Where a hitman got paid and hired and cheaper hitman who hired a cheaper hitman who hired a cheaper hitman and they all got caught?

[@bobbodaskank]

What you didn't get to see because they got killed too quickly is that the worms were about to hire some yet smaller evil bedbugs, who had some contacts with some gangster nanobots living in her pillow, who ironically typically hire Jango Fett for assassinations.

[@VelaiciaCreator]

@@durrclips746 Somewhere in Asia, wanted to say China but it could have been elsewhere.

[@MiningForPies]

It’s a tax scam.

[@feenix219]

@@bobbodaskank this needs to be an episode of Futurama.

[@JiisTube]

You know Lucas tried to hire a real shape shifting assassin to consult for the script but they got shot with a poison dart before they could explain how it really goes down

[@stark_harshly]

I love how Obi Wan and Anakin are just as incompetent as the assassins in this story.

[@aurex8937]

I absolutely adore the idea of the flying killer droid actually having received some sort of compensation instead of the worms in a canister, and having to going around Coruscant to try and find a poisonous worm merchant, only to use the money to buy aforementioned worms and use the same canister in which the money was to store them. It's hilarious.

[@Jonassoe]

The robot used its payment to hire the worms

[@aurex8937]

@@Jonassoe It's like poetry

[@classarank7youtubeherokeyb63]

The robot actually bought the worms with a loan a while ago hoping to make big money on assassination. He was just a few days away from being scrapped by collectors when a contract miraculously came in. Perhaps by fate, this particular contract was entirely compatible with a poisonous bug murder setup. I'm now realizing I don't remember if they killed the droid at some point during the movie.

[@syckles]

Worms had to use their payment for the posion.

[@EddieVH77]

​@@classarank7youtubeherokeyb63I believe Zam shot it while Obi-Wan was holding onto it

[@dasallmaechtigeJ]

I hands down never thought about how immensely stupid the assassination attempt on Padme actually is.

[@Cortesevasive]

Because it was not meant to kill her but to push her into removing chancellor valorum. the whole tragedy of darth plagues was targeted at anakin and it relied on Padme being alive.

[@hellstrom4209]

​@@CortesevasiveValorum was already out of office by this point. Palpatine had been chancellor for 10 years. The plot seemed a little too complicated and relied on everyone doing EXACTLY what Palpatine needed.

[@botten4187]

@@hellstrom4209 the reason was probably more than Palpetine needed to guide the Jedi to Kamino to get the Clone Wars started

[@ryancols]

This is why I roll eyes when someone tries to say star wars pre Disney was great writing 😅

[@ryancols]

​@@Cortesevasiveyou don't need to make excuses. It was just bad writing. It's cool.

[@Glajioul]

Imagine the whole prequel trilogy being framed as Obi-Wan telling Luke his stories and most of the time you're wondering is this real or is this just some bullshit Obi-Wan made up?

[@colemacgrath2005]

imagine if cringe scenes like "i don´t like sand" never actually haçppened and that was just Obi-Wan trying to make Anakin sound like a whiny idiot lol Obi´s final revenge against the man who destroyed the Jedi Order lmao "Luke, your father was the biggest crybaby i´ve ever seen... and he was a good friend."

[@AquaFan1998]

"Did i ever tell you the time qui gon jinn told me why jedi were forbidden from love? It was dumb but ill tell you anyway... Old ben has alot of stories and it feels like my last chance to share them and the crushing boredom realy has me in a massive story telling mood"

[@Сайтамен]

@@colemacgrath2005 I mean, yeah, Anakin was an awkward desert slave. Doesn't contradict them being friends.

[@jesustovar2549]

Like when he said that Vader killed Anakin, when Vader was actually Anakin? I think why you say would make a lot of sense.

[@memestealer2561]

the funny thing is, technically all the movies are supposed to be stories told by r2d2 to "the whills" to write in their journals very much like that. r2 always struck me as a sassy, petty shit but seemed to like anakin so i guess it's a wash

[@Revan-1466]

“….a 50s diner on Coruscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes.” 😆

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

Johnny Repulsor Lifts 🍔🍟🍦🍰☕️🥤

[@lingricen8077]

“But it had already bought the bugs” this is comedy gold. I love how Obi pretty much trails off into absolutely slagging off everyone else even remotely associated with the story.

[@sauercrowder]

I know what you're thinking, Luke. If I only cut him in half and watched him fall down a bottomless shaft, how could I really be sure he's dead? Well, you're right, because he came back later with robot legs and then I killed him again.

[@dustinjones7458]

There was no pits this time Luke. I made sure to hold him close and look straight into his crazy murderer eyes to make sure that he died. That's a lesson for you boy. No one's dead unless you're close enough to see it happen. If you don't watch really close, they might just slip away and show up a few years later. If you ever meet Darth Vader and kill him, be sure to finish the job.

[@hafor2846]

@@dustinjones7458 Also, I buried him in your backyard under your garbage disposal unit. So if you're wondering where that terrible smell came from sometimes after your 10th birthday, that's why.

[@SegmentedOdin]

And he was a good friend.

[@elgusaniiiodeljuego6823]

Somehow Darth Maul has returned 🤷‍♂️

[@pleaseenteraname2745]

Great, now i need a "Luke, did i ever tell you about Darth Maul?" video.

[@obambagaming1467]

Nute Gunray asks Palpatine to kill Padme Palpatine orders Dooku to do it Dooku orders Jango to do it Jango orders Zam to do it Zam orders a droid to do it The droid leaves it to the Kouhuns The Kouhuns leave it to their venom

[@9Dunk]

If that isn't efficiency, I don't know what is.

[@michaelbread5906]

If you think about it, that chain of command is probably identical to the one you operate under when you type on a keyboard at work.

[@walrusArmageddon]

You gotta admit, at a certain point you forget who tf is in charge of this scheme. It fell completely apart but at least no one was like "hey, is palpatine involved?"

[@meat-hook]

The lesson is that you don't swallow the spider to catch the fly. You cram your own hand down your throat and add catch that fucker yourself!

[@burningphoneix]

That's pretty much how criminal organizations work. You want as many layers between you and the triggerman as possible.

[@thibaud1832]

I am so glad this didn’t go the Ashoka Tano route.

[@retroking59]

It would have been surreal 😂

[@getajobmate1281]

The things he could do with a vibroblade, Luke, words can't describe it.

[@nathanpierce7681]

The jedi are homophobic so sorry no gay Jango nsfw today

[@outbackgearforu]

Yeah that Ashoka Tano stuff is just to x rated to fit in to good clean ,honorable ,non sexual assassination so glad some boundaries aren’t crossed ,Disney already crossed to many ,that Ashoka Tano stuff is for days when your feeling horny and you wish the missus had an orange pussy

[@therealspeedwagon1451]

@@nathanpierce7681well then why was Obi Wan gay for Commander Cody?

[@monmothma3358]

Love Luke's little smirk at "his tiny jetpack" 😂

[@onekthmatt]

"Also when I tracked him back to Kamino, I found out he was also part of the clone army conspiracy that saw the Jedi overthrone. I told Yoda and Windu about his involvement in this super secret army we got, but none of us ever really questioned it after that. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, you know."

[@nahor88]

Yoda likely did question things when he went to Kamino himself. Had Sidious not been dulling his senses, he likely would have seen through everything. They simply think their ability to use the Force for foresight has diminished.

[@wegner7036]

@@nahor88It doesn't take being a psychic to use foresight; basic intelligence would have easily prevented Papa Palpatine's victory. Unless the Jedi were so totally dependent on clairvoyance that they couldn't predict cause and effect like an intelligent person, which is somewhat poetic.

[@SalemGreywolf]

​@@wegner7036to my understanding, that is at least the common perception of what happened, if not confirmed canon. IRL, tho, it's probably just George being....well, George

[@MALICEM12]

I love how he just casual says "who owns a 50's dinner on Coruscant."

[@Nickelodeon81]

along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes

[@88skisupreme]

that's where I get all of my Death Sticks

[@warrenlewis4349]

Elvis Presley was singing "Love Me Tender" on the jukebox. Just like K said in Men In Black. He went home.

[@TylerBrown-te2xn]

Mace window 😂

[@RichEdwards]

But it was a long time ago, so it was nostalgia for the 1850s, so the menu was all cornbread and beef tallow and frontiere crap that Abe Lincoln ate growing up.

[@aldayalnite]

Being a good friend of Obi Wan seldom pans out

[@Vikashar]

Maul was definitely a good friend

[@JGlennFL]

@@Vikashar ? Maul killed his true love.

[@VelaiciaCreator]

@@Vikashar I mean, in a way Obi-wan came to understand that Maul was as much a victim of circumstance as he was. The scene in Rebels was heavy.

[@VelaiciaCreator]

@@JGlennFL It's just a rehash of Siri Tachi tbh. We just never truly got to experience their past. We were simply exposited to.

[@lockerracing7121]

​@VelaiciaCreator I'm surprised someone else remembers her story! Those books were good....

[@jaredcraig7701]

The "and he was a good friend" at the end really caught me off guard 😂

[@MysticMike]

I like the part where he remembers things he never saw and wasn't around

[@fryliver4953]

The Jedi probably concluded that after the fact in a CSI-type reconstruction.

[@GripTheWolf]

"How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?"

[@Lemon_Inspector]

I know about some things I never saw and wasn't around for. It can happen.

[@u.v.s.5583]

It was in the archives. Everything is in the archives.

[@Hawk_of_Battle]

@@u.v.s.5583 Except Kamino.

[@dareka9425]

Now that explains why Luke wasn't afraid of Boba Fett. Everybody else talked about how fearsome the legendary bounty hunter is but here Luke listened to an honest analysis by the very person who actually survived Fett's assassination attempt.

[@Ale-dd3ek]

Boba Fett Is a more competent Team Rocket In the games he sometimes shows up in the middle of the game, bullies you a bit then you kick him away until the next Adventure

[@Unknown-hb3id]

And that same bounty hunter was hired by the Jedi-turned-Sith that led the Separatists. Not only that, the bounty hunter was also the genetic template for the clone army - the clone army that was ordered by a long-dead Jedi Council member and was unknown to the Jedi Council. Pretty funny coincidence, eh? The Jedi-turned-Sith leading the Separatists also told me directly that a Sith was controlling the Republic, which we naturally did nothing about.

[@jashensalagoste7444]

"........and, she was a good friend." 😂😂😂

[@Jonassoe]

"And the whole assassination attempt was just a setup to a big treasure hunt laid out to lure me to Kamino to discover the clone army, because the Kaminoans would only deliver the army to a Jedi, because the original customer was a Jedi."

[@bingisboy]

and they were all good friends

[@TokyoXtreme]

The Jedi who ordered the clones was named “Sifo-Dyas”, which is very similar to “Sidious”, the Sith name of the Emperor - but that was just a red herring.

[@dutchboy729]

​@@TokyoXtremeyes, hello? Is this kamino? Yes I'd like to order one clone army. 200,000. Oh there's a price break for bulk? Yeah throw another million on there. My name? Uhhhhh

[@realQuestion]

those worms were two days from retirement.

[@herbert46lovecraft72]

"And he was a good friend"

[@viralmasquerade]

I love the idea of Luke sitting around with obi wan listening to his stories

[@remyetiennelebeau8364]

Try “Larry” series by Auralnauts, it goes around Obi Wan’s adventures being told to Luke by him.

[@hallamhal]

I lost it at "luckily it didn't have a self destruct function"

[@daniel-zh9nj6yn6y]

Reminds me of a true story: A business man in China hired a hitman, who hired another hitman, and so on, until it was 5 hitmen. The 5th asked the target to fake his death, but he went to the police instead, and they were arrested.

[@differentlystill1846]

Hahaha

[@Louis.7493]

theres simply no way that is true a true hitman would do it himself in behalf of his name

[@lithobreak3812]

​@@Louis.7493 you really have a very romanticized view of hitmen, most are probably in it purely for the money, and there's no better way to make money than getting someone else to do the work and paying them just a fraction of the money, it's what capitalism is based on

[@Statsy10]

@@Louis.7493That absolutely happened and you can look it up. It was in China where subcontracting is heavily embedded in their business culture.

[@darthkek1953]

@@Statsy10 Everyone in China wants to be the middleman. The "tall blade of grass" gets cut first. And they don't like being the one who works. They like being middlemen.

[@redsol3629]

One can never have too many good friends.

[@My-cat-is-staring-at-you]

I can't tell if Obi-Wan is going senile or is just so lonely that he honestly misses the company of folks who tried to him on multiple occasions.

[@grawakendream8980]

they should say that the prequels weren't real, but a figment of obi-wan's senility, so they can make a do-over

[@joebuckman]

Who tried to WHAT him? Don’t leave us in suspense. Are we supposed to fill in the missing word? I’m going with “eat”. “Folks who tried to eat him.”

[@memestealer2561]

@@grawakendream8980 if you trust modern disney to do-over the prequels you're one of the bravest people i've ever met

[@grawakendream8980]

thats real@@memestealer2561

[@Henkibojj]

​@@memestealer2561The phrasing is "that thing?You're braver than I thought".

[@dreamwalking]

0:45 "It could have just lasered her too after that... But it (had) already bought the bugs," sounds like something straight out of _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy._

[@AD25076]

The dark side is a pathway to strategies that many consider stupid

[@arc7818]

"And then we found out the bounty hunter trying to assassinate Padme was also providing his genetic blueprint to provide the Republic with a clone army. Strange, isn't it? It almost seemed like the clone army was an obvious trap, however the Jedi Council thought it best to simply use the army to fight the robots. You know, the robots from the Trade Federation's base on Geonosis, which, coincidently, was the enemy with whom the bounty hunter was allied. To this day, I'm still trying to puzzle it out... It must be the dark side clouding my perception, because it almost seems as if-"

[@kuunt6065]

"now I see that dooku may not have been lying all along. maybe I should have taken him a bit more seriously. in fairness I did fight a lizard in a coliseum a few hours later. later your father cut his arms and head off, but I was taking a nap at the time. and he was a good friend"

[@charlottecorday8494]

​@@kuunt6065To this day I will NEVER understand why Lucas wrote that scene where Dooku was straight up telling Obi what was going on and Obi was like "lalala I'm not listening". Like ... WHAT?!?!?

[@thee_master]

​@@charlottecorday8494 George Lucas was trying to depict the jedi as very arrogant, I mean they had the chosen one right infront of him and refused to train him

[@gunsharck]

@@thee_masterCause he’s too old. Jeedai select force sensitives at 2-3 years old and Anakin was TEN

[@gunsharck]

@@charlottecorday8494Would YOU believe your enemy? Also what’s with all the “likes?” Where’s your lexicon

[@hfreyse8931]

This makes it sound like a Grandpa Simpson anecdote 😂

[@hbdragon88]

We couldn't get blue light sabers...because of the WAR.

[@pnutz_2]

so we hired some poisonous worms, as was the style at the time...

[@garfieif8187]

I wore Tattooine moisture farmer garbs, which was the style at the time

[@jmlaw8888]

"Im in a hurry just give me the short version....." The short version:

[@rayanderson5797]

it's less than two minutes, how much shorter do you want it?

[@sand5527]

​@rayanderson5797 I think what they're getting at is that the short version is still needlessly convoluted. It's a two minute explanation but it feels like ten 😂

[@Tjd1982]

Lets be fair R2-D2 is the real hero here. Taking down shields, opening doors, shutting down security systems, throwing lightsabers at jedi's, calculating numbers, sensing stuff, being an X-wing wingman, delivers the death star plans - Never gets its credit.

[@blddemn6645]

"Luckily it didn't have a self destruct function" 🤣🤣🤣

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

Or taser EDW probes ⚡️ or a DV cam the assassin could see.

[@TheScarletSlayer]

They hired an assassin who hired another assassin who hired a droid who hired some bugs who are self employed.

[@dankcraft7386]

Why does Luke look so sad when Obi Wan said “Instead of just blowing us up” as if he wanted them all to die 💀😂😂

[@ukaszmozejko9984]

Luke could'nt believe how stupid everyone was during Clone Wars.

[@afmghost1759]

You forgot to mention how the shape-shifter decided not to shoot Obi-Wan while he hung on the robot. She could have blasted him and killed him, but instead shot the robot (which could have been reused for other assassinations) and left Obi-Wan to die via gravity. She also didn't watch him fall, assuming that being several thousand feet in the air was enough, and he couldn't possibly be caught by his apprentice in another speeder during his two minutes of hang time

[@VelaiciaCreator]

I think it was a matter of poor relative distance. The droid was moving at speeder speed and was a good distance off. Even with target assistance, even hitting close to him would have been tricky.

[@frankficcle7081]

To be fair, if someone fell several thousand feet onto a sidewalk, I also would assume the fall would kill them. But then again, he is a space wizard.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

​@@frankficcle7081Sidious did not seem concerned when he blasted Windu out of his office with lightning....

[@mc4ndr3]

Confirming the kill ruins so many plotlines. Fever dreams are more consistent than movies.

[@Ranstone]

A body mangled from fall damage is much harder to trace without a physical bullet inside it to trace. And before someone comments, yes Zam's KiSteer 1284 shoots a physical bullet. learn your star wars newb. If you spent the same time coming up with explanations instead of inventing potholes, you'd enjoy life a lot more guys.

[@rayl6901]

This is SO good! I love how Luke wasn't having any of it halfway through and tried to leave... Great work!

[@billtree52]

"Mace Window"

[@noisepuppet]

All through Clone Wars, I marveled at the level of VIP security they'd provide when there were assassination threats in the air. Standing around in locations with long sight lines? Oh yes, only the longest.

[@sauercrowder]

That's what the body double is for

[@D12345]

LOL. Obi forgot the part when Jango shot at his spaceship and captured Lukes's father so they could fight a lobster-spider-mantis, a four eyed rat-tiger, and a cattle-lizard-rhinoceros during a proto-storm trooper droid battle. That would have made for interesting discussion.

[@VelaiciaCreator]

"You see, the oldest and wisest master of our order brought in a whole fleet of star destroyers, and proceeded to not shoot at fleeing enemy ships, instead opted not only to a ground battle on foot, but one where the soldiers charged into the open while having blasterfire coming at them from all directions."

[@jcb3393]

​@@VelaiciaCreatorI'll tell you who that Master is once I'm dead. Luke: wait... What now?

[@gengarzilla1685]

"I could tell that your mother and father were kissing each other when I saw them being brought into the arena. They were always terrible at hiding it."

[@_Zaid]

The prequels make more sense if you imagine them as a massively derailed tabletop game where the players stumble through every questline.

[@mutantraniE]

Many bad movies can be explained as good tabletop RPGs. Many good movies can be explained as tabletop RPGs gone badly wrong somehow.

[@chrisa84]

Look up “Darths and Droids”: it does just that.

[@namebrandmason]

“Fortunately the tiny flying robot could support the weight of a grown man…”

[@philipsalama8083]

As a kid, I always wondered why the shapeshifter never used her ability for the assassination, or to get away. Now that I'm an adult, I'm still wondering that. Why introduce the character as a shapeshifter if they never use the ability? It's like the opposite of Chekov's Gun.

[@fryliver4953]

Apparently the argument is the shapeshifted didn't have the clothes of the people they could've shapeshifted into therefore couldn't do that on the spot

[@philipsalama8083]

@@fryliver4953 Sure, that's the in-universe reason. I mean the narrative reason, though. What was the point from a writing perspective of introducing an antagonist with that power, and never using it?

[@antonliakhovitch8306]

​@@philipsalama8083Thank you for providing a breath of fresh air. With Star Wars especially, it's common to see fans get into arguments about the unimportant things and ignore the more pertinent question of "why did the writers think this was a good idea?"

[@johannesseyfried7933]

Maybe Zam worried that the Jedi would read her mind? In general, it's not really stupid for a Killer eliminate her target from a distance....but you are right: it never occured to me that Zam could have shapeshifted into one of Padme's servants .

[@protonjones54]

Because George is only brilliant half the time

[@wanderlustwarrior]

Luke: "You mean Mace Windu was a good friend?" Ben: "I'm not sure who I'm talking about anymore, Luke. For all I know a good friend could've hired Windu to kill Jango."

[@maadtee6281]

Jengo knew shooting obiwan with a rocket wouldnt work because obiwan has the high ground always

[@Сайтамен]

Plus he would hear the sound and redirect the rocket with the Force.

[@iczev]

@@Сайтамен nah bro he ain't Starkiller

[@Сайтамен]

@@iczev Even Ahsoka did that.

[@miroslavkutak9430]

@@Сайтамен but got blindsided by a poison dart. Probably slipped under the Jedi radar or something. Maybe that's what the grunts should be using against these lightsaber guys.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@miroslavkutak9430 You should ask HK-47. He knows everything about Jedi-killing.

[@EnjoySackLunch]

Splicing Luke chuckling at 1:30 at “tiny jet pack” is a nice touch.

[@lisbon1492]

Whoever did that impression of Alec Guinness did a fantastic job!

[@Jdb63]

It's an AI voice

[@foobar83]

it was a robot voice hired by the video creator

[@jeroenschaafsma138]

​@@foobar83The robot voice hired a voice actor to do the voice over.

[@jukkaahonen6557]

... And he was a good friend 😊

[@sauercrowder]

​@prudent_rodent The worm hired a clone of Alec Guinness to do it. He could have just done it himself right then and there, but he had already bought Alec Guinness, so

[@alexsabre3219]

Somewhere JJ Abrams is seeing this and yelling at his screen “See?! I was just channeling prequels’ Lucas with all my plot holes and nonsense!”

[@HolyknightVader999]

It was a good thing for Palpatine that the assassin his apprentice hired didn't succeed. Without Padme's life to dangle over Anakin, he might've just killed Palpatine on the spot when the latter revealed himself to be a Sith.

[@shalltear159]

it's almost like the point of the assassination attempt was to fail or something

[@HolyknightVader999]

@@shalltear159 But if it did not, things would've changed.

[@OGRE_HATES_NERDS]

the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs 😂😂😂

[@nikolajwinther5955]

Venomous.

[@razzledazzle84921]

Obi knows that there’s no anecdote that can’t be improved by the addition of Dexter Jettster.

[@dannylopez5976]

1:12 I like Luke's progressive disbelief at how stupid the events are getting

[@majorhatchback]

This reminds me of that one fun fact where Chinese hitmen kept subcontracting more and more until the payment was so little the last guy said it wasn’t worth it and told the target the plot

[@Enzo012]

That's what Red Letter Media pointed out, shape shifting would be the most advantageous ability a bounty hunter could ever have. So many uses it could have both for dispatching a target and for evading capture.

[@jeffgiaquinto]

Whatever happened to that Red Letter Guy. Those videos were hilarious. Early KZbin days.

[@comradetiki2970]

​@@jeffgiaquintoHe still covers movie stuff on a youtube show called Half In The Bag. ^_^

[@memestealer2561]

thank you for reviving this shitpost. it really deeply pissed me off that this style of meme died/got overtaken by the forced ahsoka pornbait fanfic version, i will never stop seething about that. this was one of my favorite memes on /tv/ just in general (not this specific post, but the whole style)

[@ThatOneRussianTank]

The amount of times Jango couldve killed every Jedi he met, but thanks to something called plot armour, he got absolutely ragdolled.

[@armaan1091]

That’s why I like legends where Fett at the battle of Galidraan killed 5 Jedi with his bare hands. He was a fucking unit. Now Filoni and Disney have screwed with his character

[@ThatOneRussianTank]

@@armaan1091 I mean they fricked with him in the prequels too. But yeah, he was a beast. Sad we never got to know more about him. All we have is Episode 2 and the video game.

[@Сайтамен]

@@ThatOneRussianTank He was created in the prequels, how could they screw him if he was original and only in one movie?

[@ThatOneRussianTank]

@@Сайтамен I- dont know. Maybe cuz they gave him a too brutal death which he didnt deserve? Maybe cuz his death traumatized young Boba? Or maybe cuz of how weak he seemed in his fight with Obi-Wan, as if he was playing with luck. They could've given him better tbh

[@armaan1091]

@@Сайтамен Because he got killed too easily by Mace Windu? Killing five Jedi with your bare hands just to get decapitated in one swing will do that.

[@ABCABC-o9s7j]

Obi-Wan has a lot of good friends

[@Bill_Cipher1995]

"He doesn't like you." "I'm sorry." "I don't like you either."

[@shepard77]

To tell you the truth, Luke, Jabba is your uncle… and a good friend.

[@kowboys1180]

1:14 Luke: “this old windbag and his stories”

[@AnnDVine]

If Alec Guinness ever spoke the name "Dexter Jettster" aloud I think he would have dissolved into a viscous puddle like the Wicked Witch of the West getting water poured on her

[@grawakendream8980]

LOL. "but they had already bought the bugs"

[@shepherd5234]

This gets funnier the more times you watch it.

[@guitaring4fun]

The disappointed look on Luke's face at 1:31 fucking kills me. "Damn, he got away on his jetpack huh? Darn, sure would've been different if you guys had jetpacks too I bet!"

[@lunondisposable5382]

"Ben I think you've a few too many Cervezas, let's get you to bed"

[@RioFordays]

'Mace Window' How ironic

[@gojirae.l.h.9431]

Luke, did I ever tell you about the tragedy of Darth Vader?

[@funkstication]

Darth Vader The Gullible?

[@jesustovar2549]

You know that's how one of George Lucas' original scripts was called, right? he confirmed it in an interview with Christopher Nolan years ago.

[@gojirae.l.h.9431]

@@jesustovar2549 oh damn, thats actually nice to know. George Lucas, the legend himself

[@gengarzilla1685]

"I thought not. It's not a story your aunt and uncle would tell you."

[@jukkaahonen6557]

And he was a good friend. Ironic.

[@thatrandomredengine9430]

I didn’t notice this until now. But as Jango is beheaded, you can see the shadow of his head flying off screen while his helmet hits the ground. That is some attention to detail!

[@tonypine3434]

Should have applied that to the script and the acting

[@deadpool-xr6dr]

​...for the sequels?

[@HOTD108_]

​@@deadpool-xr6drIf you seperate your fun memories of playing with the action figures and tie-in video games as a kid from the movie, it becomes very hard to defend.

[@thatrandomredengine9430]

@@deadpool-xr6dr *prequels Get it right lol

[@Сайтамен]

@@tonypine3434 Acting was great.

[@bsoc1977]

Obi-Wan explains plot holes magnificently.

[@PhattyBolger]

RIP Dexter Jetster. Gone but not forgotten.

[@Luke-ow9ku]

The only guy in the galaxy to pronounce Coruscant correctly.

[@vietnamd0820]

I was looking for a comment on the pronunciation of Coruscant and you did not disappoint…thank you sir! 😂

[@jukkaahonen6557]

Even Corus can't do it.

[@nickgreen4731]

"But he'd already bought the bugs." 🤣

[@justalonesoul5825]

Well yeah, Star Wars 1 to 3 are just absolutely horrifyingly riddled with plot holes. Good resume on that specific part, though 😄

[@SerpentorTheEmperor]

"Sir, this is Wendy's'

[@woyame1]

I'm still waiting for the one where Obi Wan says, "Luke, did I ever tell you how we purchased your father from slavery, but left your grandmother to rot and suffer because we were too cheap (or stupid) to pawn one our fancy space ships, ask our rich Senator friends for more money or just break her out with our vastly superior Jedi fighting skills?"

[@fryliver4953]

They had to respect local laws...

[@ginger-ham4800]

They only had the *one* spaceship at the time, Padme couldn't reveal herself AND they just couldn't break Anakin's mom out by force cuz slaves in Star Wars have explosives surgically attached to them.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@ginger-ham4800 Yeah, that's really the biggest problem with the plan. You cannot just take Shmi with you unless Wato deactivates the bomb. Not to mention that republic credits are useless to Wato.... So you have to get him something valuable enough that he would be willing to trade for Shmi.

[@jars7774]

This would be like George telling tales to his grandkids.

[@briantrevino9706]

"But he already bought them." 💀💀💀

[@nossenkanter]

"Did you ever hear the tragedy of George Lucas the Random?"

[@notovny]

R2-D2: "You know I'm a starship repair and navigation droid, right? Not some glorified nanny cam? You know what, I'm _still_ mad about my friends getting shot off the queen's yacht, let's just see how this bug thing shakes out."

[@blueshit199]

the fact that Anakin never minded fighting alongside exact copies of the man who tried to kill his wife

[@fryliver4953]

Aha just thought of that. 😂 😂

[@kuunt6065]

he never saw his face tbf

[@nemofunf9862]

The 50's diner also seems to be on the only road in Coruscant.

[@lemerdeposteur]

"Mace Window" made me laugh out loud.

[@samfromportadown]

Senile Obi-Wan vaguely remembers that a window was involved in Mace Windu's demise, and his addled brain mixes this up with his name.

[@PhilipReeder]

Oh this deserves a Robot Chicken clip.

[@MarcusHalverstram]

Legends noticed the "Mace Window" you slipped in there 😂

[@mrdavebot]

Sometimes - when I'm feeling down, or useless, or stupid - I watch this video and I feel better about myself again. I'm so grateful to you.

[@nolsee1176]

I’m surprised the worms didn’t then hire some assassination amoebas.

[@ElevenAce]

You know also hiring a security droid to be in her bedroom would of been smart 😂.

[@Christian-en6lk]

That’s what r2-d2 was for

[@ElevenAce]

@@Christian-en6lk but he's not really made for combat.

[@flash-fire117]

@@ElevenAceI’m willing to bet R2 has a higher kill count than most B1s

[@plumdowner1941]

R2 was literally in the room, sweeping back and forth. The bugs managed to give him the slip. That's why Anakin and Obi-Wan were outside, in case they sense something R2 couldn't find.

[@CrazyHorseInvincible]

​@@plumdowner1941 It takes a nimble and cunning predator to slip past a trash can with the range of motion of a cinder block on roller skates.

[@davindeptuck7905]

Honestly missed opportunity to mention how equally obscure it was for Dexter Jettster to have any knowledge on this obscure weapon at all much less that that scrap of info would let them find Jango Fett and start the Clone Wars

[@jaredschoon452]

I love when Luke tries to walk away from the very long story and Obi Wan doesn’t stop talking

[@wyldride]

"I get that you must assume that we Jedi were smart, Luke, but if we ever figured out that Jango was leading us on a chase specifically to get us to find and use the clone army, none of us ever mentioned it. Heck, not a one of us brought up that Jango worked for the Sith Lord Dooku, yet we were somehow fine with trusting a bunch of clones of him. As to figuring out that Dooku and the separatists we're working for Sideous/Palpatine the whole time, I'm still not sure we've truly processed that. Let's face it, Luke, the real reason for the rise of the Empire is our abject stupidity. Luckily, if I have an actual plan to ameliorate the situation at this point, it would be news to me because nothing I do truly helps in any way, either." - Obi-wan, probably.