Mad Men: The Tragedy of Betty Draper

[@thetake]

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[@orsonwelles4254]

Peter Cambell

[@KittyCider]

Sally Draper

[@brlj2546]

Could you please make a video essay about the movie Her plisssss

[@ZANZANMANMAN]

subscribed after this. thank you

[@woodlandhamilton4348]

Like to see a video on Roger Sterling who is my favorite character on the show.

[@swifty1147]

I've always thought that Betty should never have become a mother. Not because she's a bad person like people seem to claim, but because it just wasn't for her. She should have had a life of travel, glamor, socializing, not suited for the prim, crisp, dutiful housewife. Betty thrives when she and Don go to Rome, and she gets to escape her suburban life and kids, and for a moment be that stunning woman in all black, ordering drinks in Italian, adored by men, and picking up the charming stranger. She is college educated, had a modeling career where she was a designers muse and had custom outfits made for her, is fashionable, stunning, can be the charming hostess and socialite. That was the life she should have had, even the marriage to Henry, a politicians desirable wife and proud to be on his arm with others admiring her. Gene tells her she fucked up by settling for Don, and she had so much more possible for her, and I've always thought he was right. Betty isn't the evil witch mother, she doesn't really know how to be a mother, that's not who she was meant to be.

[@ginao6810]

Swifty I’ve always felt this way about Betty! She’s just not maternal. She had children because she saw it as her duty and it bought her status. My grandmother was the same. She fell in love at 18 and that resulted in 2 babies in two years. 5 years later, the love affair was over, she left her two children in an orphanage and moved interstate to be a socialite. And the thing is, she thrived in her new life. Aside from the partying, she had a brilliant career and won many industry awards. She remarried a famous football star and they lived a glamorous social life. And I think Betty could of as well. Like you say, she made the perfect politician’s wife for Henry. Even in her later years, my grandmother didn’t have a single maternal instinct. She was an awful grandmother, she had no idea how to interact with children (like Betty). My grandmother should never of had children, and same goes for Betty. Without Betty’s children, even if she still married Don, they could of lived in the city and had a far more colourful, less isolating life.

[@ingriddubbel8468]

Betty is an awful parent. Betty is an awful person.

[@SO-jc9bp]

Yeah or mabey one daughter to leave all her of glamorous lifestyle and wealth too.

[@lin2thez341]

Betty reminds me of my mother June. I always thought my mother shouldn't have had children, yet she had 5. She was blonde and pretty and college educated. She remains a mystery to me - what did she want and desire from life? I do know she craved (and received) attention from men. She died 36 years ago.

[@sleepyburr]

@Rosamund Powell Abusive parenting vs. absentee parenting? They can be equally bad, in my opinion. Happening to be there and doing somewhat parent-y things (often while neglecting their safety and emotional well-being) is not intrinsically better than not being there at all, especially if the present parent is outright abusive or neglectful. They're both pretty bad as parents, and I don't know that you can say either one of them is categorically better or worse than the other.

[@blatherskitenoir]

I've always felt Betty is a hedonist forced to live the life of asceticism. Which seems odd, considering her wardrobe and jewelry, but not really. In her own words, she "likes hot dogs". She likes to eat, she likes to drink, she likes to try new, foreign foods. She loves to travel. She wants attention, admiration, and praise. She craves Don's time and loves the carnal side of their marriage. She loves being in the midst of the city. She adores parties, extravagance, and company. She thrives on vacation. But, she lives her life in a little glass box out in the suburbs, touching nothing and being untouched. People come by occasionally to tap on the glass. And she just wastes away, starving, behind the glass in her empty, boring box, unable to get out.

[@masonz7162]

Yeah but what did she do you earn those happy things.... By solely thinking about her looks... Ehhh doesn't seem like a good plan to me. Ascetics also found great spiritual value in intentionally depriving themselves, she is just a sad story

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Remember when she tried on those Italian fashions? Look how she barely kept up that dolce vita after getting back to the suburbs, imagine if she did keep up the Pucci in Ossining and her new town, maybe could have been the key...

[@clementineparker2918]

She really is such a complex character and this video doesn't do her justice.

[@taragallagher]

This was beautiful accurate and poetic. Great insight!

[@Gnasheress]

How can someone change this about themselves, I feel like this...

[@annalenihan7729]

I think we saw a glimpse of Betty's true self when she and Don went to Italy. She was extremely proud of her ability to speak another language. She is the kind of woman who should not have had children and become a housewife as early as she did, if at all. There are many "if only's" when considering her tragic storyline. I love the complexity of her character.

[@debbylou5729]

Complex? She’s the most shallow character on the show

[@B2Roland]

​@@debbylou5729that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

[@paulinegallagher7821]

@@debbylou5729 She was shallow in certain ways, but she was a very complex character; all the Mad Men characters were, with the possible exception of the optimistic yet straight to the point character of Trudy. She threw Don out of her life, not knowing how she would cope without him in S2, which showed integrity, courage and independence. She took him back when she fell pregnant with his baby because she knew she would need him. From S3 onwards, we see this complexity deepen as she struggles to go back to being the devoted, dutiful wife and seemingly at the same time, looking for a way out. She was fantasizing about then started an emotional affair with Henry, something that never would have happened before Don cheated on her. Finding out about Dons true identity was the closure she needed; she wasnt in love with him anymore and we knew that when she found his key, opened the drawer and smiled. No anxiety, no nervousness, no 'Maybe Im better off not knowing'. She WANTED him to give her a reason to leave him once and for all, and then she found it.

[@Saber23]

@@debbylou5729 exactly she’s just another ungrateful bitchy stereotype of a “suffering housewife” as if that’s the worst thing in the world to be it’s pathetic that women nowadays actually sympathize with her character 🤦‍♂️

[@Saber23]

@@B2Roland what does it it mean then? 😂

[@emiliel4539]

I adore her and the saddest thing for me is how no one took her seriously, ever. Throughout the show she's treated like an hypocondriac (and she is to some degree because of her anxiety), she even has a cancer scare, etc. And ultimately she's proved right in her fears. She dies young, killed by the one thing her ex-husband pushed on society as "harmless". Brutal.

[@MysonEggAndHisbrotherCheese]

God this comment hurts me so much, i hate Don.

[@gotpmf]

Didnt she die of lung cancer?

[@IndiGeaux]

It pissed me off that Don wouldn’t let Betty wear that adorable yellow bikini, but had no problem letting his vapid second wife wear whatever the heck she wanted.

[@carriemcclure7253]

I thought it was odd too.

[@studiostyx7075]

For men who innately don't respect women, it's all lateral--they'll serially cheat on the same wife they'll in turn shame for choice of swimwear, seeing neither the correlation or almost laughable hypocrisy.

That's the thing about second wifes, specially when those second wives were originally a mistress. My dad does the same thing with the woman he left my mom for.

[@thatblvckhippie1911]

@ that's so sad 😔

[@itsrajaz]

@ been there, seen that. Our poor moms.

[@2cleverbyhalf]

For some reason the ending that Betty Draper received made me cry when I watched it. And I do not mean a few tears, I mean actually cry. Sure, she was a horrid person in many respects, but there was something about her I understood on some level. And I felt sad for her at the way Don treated her while they were married. The life he had with Megan was the life she actually wanted with him, and he stuck her in the country and isolated her, taking her out of her packaging when he needed her to entertain professionally.

[@lenisemicolon]

Originally she wanted to live in the country. In an early season she and her friend are talking about their marriages and say that their husbands are "better out here", as in they behave better without the temptations of the city around them. I think she got what she wanted, then realized she didn't like it.

[@saltamontess100]

She never knew what she wanted in life. She just spent her free time as a housewife plotting evil things, like fucking Glen's mom or being mean to her riding partner in the country club (nobody says nothing about this horrible behavior). Stop romanticizing this woman, who is much more than "a woman of her time".

[@lenisemicolon]

Her riding partner did comment on her behavior and no one else knew about it. Outside of the show people talk about the terrible things Betty does all the time.

[@wantsomecoffee]

It’s understandable that you cried. I did too the first time I saw it.

[@k_a_y_l_e_e]

that phone call between her and don had me sobbing. i was almost ashamed at myself for crying so hard but, as an avid fan of the show, i felt it so deeply. it was a tragic yet beautiful television moment.

[@jessicafaur422]

No one ever mentions how much Don cheated on her and she is aware of it. That wasn’t helping her any

[@concontech343]

True. And how controlling he was, that he did not talk with her at all, she did not know anything about him. Also, he never took account about the kids. He was terrible, and I feel bad for her

[@DeeDiamond2981]

Yea. S1 ep10. We see her discuss the cheating. I FELT SO BAD FOR HER. My gosh...

[@unrelatedpopcornfire9823]

Or the fact that he never actually apologised.

[@_zigger_]

Based Don

[@MysonEggAndHisbrotherCheese]

It's literally another kind of mental abuse in marriage and people were still glorifying Don while hating Betty all the time when show aired

[@Mr.-Roybot]

I feel like you can explore Don's relationship with women on the show. Basically his only successful ones were with Peggy and Anna Draper.

[@SKULLKR3W]

also he had a good relationship with rachel but he couldnt commit

[@broadwaygodess630]

Roy Thingamajig And I would also argue with Joan. He wasn’t as close with her, but he had a strong camaraderie and respect for her

[@tyke2026]

And Joan

[@shrapnel77]

and what is the one commonality that he had with all three women????

[@lizzy__brock]

hddd I’d argue dr faye Miller is what he NEEDED but never could commit to. She would have kept him straight while making him a better man & he knew that but instead he went for Megan Bc she was new flavor and better w kids/easy in his eyes to mold / fit where he thought he needed her (as a mother figure) for his children. Faye would have been way better long term he just never gave her the chance

[@write2pras84]

If the comments indicate one thing, it is that Betty was a complex character. She was not one-dimensional. Kudos to January for portraying her, I think she did a phenomenal job. Her voice, her eyes, her expressions were all subtle and great in delivering the nuances of who Betty was.

[@animalfinatic9366]

Exactly.

[@stray-wolf]

She wasn't shooting the birds because she was angry. She was shooting them because her neighbour, the bird keeper, walked up to Sally Draper and threatened to kill their dog. It was an act of retaliation, not wanton aggression.

[@AdrienneUnae]

Correct

[@chichipotter4487]

Symbolism: Why should those birdies have freedom when I cannot

[@jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj178]

It was Betty fully embracing her fate as a mother, after her modeling dreams were dashed. "If I can't kill it as a model, I'll kill the birds belonging to the asshole who scared my children."

[@laurenr7545]

Poor old Betty. She's super aggressive though.

[@Kelbell805]

I just watched this episode last night. This happened after Don said probably one of the nicest things he ever said to her: he wished had a mother like her. She woke up feeling a renewed sense of purpose as a mother. The shooting of the birds was simultaneously a way to be a "good mother" since Sally was so upset about the birds AND Polly and a symbol of letting go of her "flying away" dreams of being a model. Great moment. Probably one of my favorite Betty moments for sure.

[@LottieTheLurker]

For once I'm going to have to slightly disagree. The tragedy is that she did change, but it was too late. And that killed not only her own growth, but the probability of a good relationship with her children, Sally mostly. Yes, Betty was very much a product of her own time and, just like the other women, at the beginning of the show she didn't know her own value. But unlike Peggy and Joan, who grew self-confidence through interactions with other supporting men in their life, nobody encouraged Betty in that way. She was always just a pretty little thing who should sit back and stay quiet. She always showed signs of introspection and depth, but had no way of displaying that. The fact that she discovered herself soon before her death is what's tragic. The other part is her relationship with Sally. Betty inflicted a lot of damage on Sally throughout the years, to the point where Sally ended up hating her. Towards the end, as Betty opened up more and Sally matured, the daughter could not only see that the mother was just as damaged as anyone else, a product of her time, but also that she had a lot to teach, that there is value in being level headed, knowing how to take care of issues and people, etc. Growing up, Sally rebelled against all those "old" values, but towards the end of the series she saw that not all of them were bad, just like Betty saw that it is sometimes necessary to let go of the old and embrace the new ideas and beliefs that come with the changing times. Finally, the two were at a point where they could have a conversation as opposed to just screaming at each other and misunderstanding. That's the tragic part. Anyway, this was a great video, would've like it to be a bit more in-depth, but it was good nevertheless. I really love Betty as a character, even though I often didn't agree with her, it killed me how misunderstood she was by the people in her life and some of the viewers, but I loved seeing a complex character like her on-screen.

[@LarryOfilms]

LottieTheLurker I think you nailed it. In the letter to Sally when she said that

[@LarryOfilms]

She finally realizes that Sally marching to the beat of her own drum is actually a good thing just shows she has accepted the progressive movement but too late to join the bandwagon. It definitely brought me to tears.

[@1chienandalou]

Good points. I think part of her always knew she had made choices that made her feel trapped rather than content, the way it was supposed to be; and how she continued to make them, with the world (and women's options in particular) rapidly changing before her eyes. She didn't have the emotional maturity to deal with the situation or even acknowledge it, nor with her feelings (e.g., fear of the unknown, anxiety about letting go of the familiar, resentment that the way of life she had bought into for so long didn't bring contentment, and even anger, some of which may even be justified. She could have been a lot more mature in facing and dealing with the times a'changing after she played her cards right to succeed (i.e., marry well) and made the necessary sacrifices (e.g., giving up on modeling and moving to the suburbs into loneliness), but she also was seriously betrayed by her husband, who was not only a serial cheater and emotionally absent, but the entire time she had known him had basically lied about his life and did she even know this man?! I think people (rightfully) disliked her because of her narcissism and problematic aspects of her parenting, especially towards Sally. But she was suffering and did not have the tools nor the help (in the form of colleagues, close friends, family,... she really didn't have anyone in her life with whom she could be genuine, perhaps not even to herself...) to properly face her feelings so they manifest seemingly isolated and incoherent ways, like the famous bird shooting scene, or her strange friendship with a child from the neighborhood... As the show went on and she went through more experiences, and with more cracks in her facade and in her self esteem, those parts of turned into a sense of general resentment and bitterness, and in the end even though she was always reluctant at some level, they reached her awareness more as well. In the interim she did have conflict with Sally, partially because parts of her were unconsciously jealous of Sally's resilience and ability to choose her own way. Such dynamics between mother and daughter are not that uncommon but Betty, sadly, due to a combination of the times she lived in and her specific circumstances could only grow up enough to deal with them in a more productive way at the very end. So I mostly agree with you OP, in my own long-winded, writing via voice dictation way. I never was all that focused on Betty but I did think seeing (and hating on) her as a cold bitch/refrigerator mom was too simplistic a view of her. This video brought up some good points to draw a more complex picture, but as you and others commented, it still doesn't address a lot of the subtler yet important aspects of this character and the tragic aspects of her life, for her and for others.

[@Aster_Risk]

They mentioned that by the time she goes to college and tries to change it's too late.

[@LovelyMiss90]

Wow! I couldn't agree more with you. Great analysis.

[@letiziacovets1945]

You missed something crucial about Betty’s transformation. In her letter to Sally it stars off superficial with how she wants to look in her casket, but she very clearly tells Sally she no longer worries about her because she has realized that because Sally travels to the beat of her own drum she will not only be okay but that her life will be a wonderful adventure. Sally isn’t going to be caged like in any of the ways Betty was. Despite it being too late for herself,Betty sees that the stifling cycle of conformity that guided her life into an early grave will not have a hold on her daughter. Betty knows Sally be okay because she isn’t like her. That is a huge insight from a character prone to being as narcissistic as Betty was. It was also very telling that when Sally’s stepfather tells her that Betty is dying he tells her that it is okay to cry he promptly starts sobbing and for a moment she is so reminiscent of Betty quietly trying to figure out how to react to human emotion. However she doesn’t make a scene or become critical like Betty often did. She looks uncertain but she knows the right thing to do which is to put her hand on his back. It was so impactful that the child once left ignored and sobbing in grief over her grandfather was now a young woman choosing empathy.

[@deelighted]

Letizia Covets 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@sjceezy]

I know this is old, but what an insightful comment!

[@realisezmoi]

yes yes yes to everything! bravo!! :) the relationship between betty and sally is so wonderful and complicated and heartbreaking. i swear i only have to think of that letter scene and i get a little misty. god, and when sally's standing there doing the dishes... 😭 MY HEART

[@ShushaSofia]

@@realisezmoi I'm sure in real life all those Sallys would've taken back the nose comments and all other insults towards their mothers once they found out they were dying.

[@AC-ze1nh]

I'm seeing so much I didn't on my second full rewatch of Mad Men. I used to think Betty deciding to have Bobby and Gene live with William and Judy was cruel. She was actually being kind. She knew Don couldn't raise them and if left with Henry, Sally would become too much of a mother to her brothers. She wouldn't have the freedom Betty wanted to give her daughter. Bobby and Gene would also be surrounded by other children in a happy home, rather then a big, empty house full of sadness. She thought it all through and came up with the solution to help each of her children be as happy as they could be after her death. Betty was such a misunderstood character, even by most of us. But finally, we're all seeing beyond Don's charisma and realizing how abusive he actually was.

[@spookymadeleine]

Upon rewatching Mad Men, I thought it was alluding to her inevitable death in the last season. It's significant Birdie is smoking while shooting down the birds, this symbolism can insinuate she's essentially killing herself due to her incessant smoking (which gave her lung cancer). Also, has anyone else noticed how much Betty is surrounded by blue (even when not wearing blue, her very blue eyes are showcased)? Blue, of course, is always associated with sadness. Betty is honestly one of my favourite characters - due to her tragedy. I will always defend Betty because it speaks to the societal lack of acceptance of very complicated women

[@DjJooze]

Madeleine Acton "societal lack of acceptance of very complicated women" haha are u fkin kidding me

[@spookymadeleine]

Jordi El Niño Polla• the fact there is a niche category on Netflix called "strong female lead" shows how patriarchal our television shows and films still are. Female characters are *usually* not alloted the room to be deep, tragic, complex, etc etc. It's rare to see a female character act strictly on her own accord and isn't the product of some backstory with some male. We have Tony Soprano, Walter White, Nucky Thompson, Omar Little, Dexter Morgan, etc etc (just to name a few...) who still have fans despite their heinous actions (the above mentioned are antiheroes) but it's seldom for women to be antiheroes - because there is an aversion to complex females. So, no, I'm not "fkin kidding"

[@anishinaabae]

especially because betty was entirely created by the times. women today still struggle with being shaped and molded into something they don't want to be, something they're told is "the right way to be" in order to achieve certain life goals, like finding a husband, having children, etc. so whenever people totally disregard her character cus she's "mean" or "cold", i'm sitting there like did we even watch the same show? she's a great character. you don't have to find her likable of course, but to cast her aside because you fail to understand the sort of pressure she (and every other woman) was being crushed under is ridiculous.

[@111jkjk]

Compared to Joan and Peggy, actual strong women characters, Betty comes across as a vapid, self indulgence spoilt, parasitic, child creature, at best a volatile ornament. The real tragedy is that she didn't get old and ugly to learn that to be human is more than appearances and be given the opportunity for some self reflection, if she was even capable of it.

[@DreamEatingBaku]

Joel Kim when people say "strong female character" they usually mean well written or complex female character. like, strongly written, I believe. But the term has been over-simplified

[@bluebear473]

I think you missed a key point about Betty's modelling: Don forced her out. Had he not interfered she probably would have continued. There's a very telling scene at the end of that episode where they discuss her leaving modelling, she looks very wistful and almost sad. Yes, Betty was weak, but she was manipulated heavily by Don. You can even see this where he rings up the psychiatrist and uses what he says against Betty: "I'm living with a little girl". The man was resentful of her potential career! I think Betty had a lot to fight against like many women in the 50s and 60s but she gave up to easily, whereas a lot of other women persevered e.g. Peggy and Joan. Having said that I absolutely love these video essays! Please do Sally Draper next!

[@FernandoTorrera]

Peggy had to give up her baby for her career and Joan was practically forced to sleep with disgusting men for the advancement of the company. Maybe Betty wasn’t willing to pay that high price.

[@FernandoTorrera]

I think Betty took the Middle road, she dumped don and became a socialite for her political husband. That isn’t nothing and something she enjoyed doing looking good organizing events and getting favor for her husband. I think she would have flourished as an organizer for political events.

[@fernandarabelo8472]

She was sleeping with the enemy...

[@chercher4679]

Actually Don turned down a job which is why she didn’t get the Coca Cola modelling job. Had Don accepted it then she would have been booked, the reason she got hired in the first place is because they used it as a crumb so Don would work for them. Remember how Don has been chased by this company since season 1, and then finally in season 7 he works for them? Don could’ve accepted the job but he wasn’t about to leave Sterling Cooper for his wife just so she could have some happiness. He never cared about Bettys dreams, he just wanted to fuck other women and keep her tied down to be his slave and raise his children and to be his arm candy.

[@19TAURUSGIRL91]

Yesss! I feel like nobody talks about that episode. Don knew she wanted the modeling for her own and it’d be something to uplift her and give her some purpose and happiness but he had to crush that for her. And then talking sneakily on the phone with the doctor, he only called her a child bc that’s what the doctor said.

[@jeffreytripoli]

I think one of the important points that maybe got glossed over is that Betty was symbolically collateral damage in Don's quest for glory; that indirectly he was responsible for her death, even though she'd left him and tried to begin a new life without his influence. From the get-go Don was a glorified cigarette pusher, and Lucky Strike remained Sterling Cooper's bread-and-butter. The fact that Betty died from lung cancer while Don built his career on marketing the very product that killed her is more than coincidental, I think.

[@Alloniya]

Yeah right. Don is such a jerk to me.

[@lrlrch8351]

Yes, Don is also indirectly guilty for JFK murder and global warming >:v

[@ydontubegray]

@@lrlrch8351 I mean technically he did killed Betty, it does take 2 to tango, but with neither party being honest with one another and expectations being different back then...don and betty were contributors to how her death set up.

[@supercitizen2021]

Haha 😂, Don is a something else

[@cyndimoring9389]

my partner did this with his first wife. He was a workaholic and she took care of everything at home. He made millions, she left him and took him to the cleaners. He was shocked, confused and heartbroken. He differed from Don in that he was loyal to her but more loyal to his company. She died shortly after their divorce of ovarian cancer. heartbroken in her own right.

[@KaylaNoelle1]

Her life is pretty much my personal nightmare so I wasn't surprised that it ended in tragedy. The way she's been taught that her only value is in her looks would drive anyone a bit loopy.

[@christophersuswal9544]

The problem with that is we're so quick to take on these fake roles of ours and pretend we ARE these people. When Betty did encounter anyone who wanted to know more about who she is she played scared house wife for them, worried about what her husband would think. It wasnt all of society that treated her like a Barbie doll. Betty's mom messed her up good on that one

[@JayJay-nc7pr]

Betty was a personification of the 1950s, interestingly Joan who is slightly older than Betty manages to survive the 60s, why? Because Joan was a product of the 1940s, an era when women had to take control because the men had gone to war, interestingly we never hear of Joan's father, yet Betty's father is a domineering presence in his brief tenure on the show, The 1950s died when Kennedy died, Don and Betty's 1950s marriage also ended just a couple of days later, Betty was slowly dying from that point on long before she had the cancer, going back to Joan, she was very much a 40s femme fatale, cool, 100 % certain of her sexuality and its effect on men, and forward thinking, she looks to the future and embraces the 60s, While Joan made it past 1969, Betty was living in the year of nineteen fifty nineteen (195-19)

[@katakisLives]

I think the show ended in 1971, I would have been interested to see how they would have looked in the eighties but it never went that far.

[@JayJay-nc7pr]

katakisLives well the 1980s would have focused on the next generation: Sally, Glenn, Bobby, Gene Jnr, Tammy (Pete and Trudy's daughter), Roger's grandson and his own son with Joan; Kevin, Joan and Peggy would be at the top of their careers I would imagine thanks to 1970s women's lib, further more on Betty look at the first image we see of her in the models area, everyone else is wearing early 60s clothes yet even by the standards of 1961 (still a few years away from the swinging sixties at this point) Betty looked beautiful but woefully out of date with that big circa 1954/55 dress she was wearing, I love Mad Men for this reason because of little subtle moments like this 😊

[@katakisLives]

I'd guess that Roger Sterling would have probably died by the eighties and Don Draper would take that role in the story in terms of age, an older Pete Campbell with shoulder pads having to grapple with desktop computers like the old IBM's one thing about older people is they tend to stick to the look they had when they were in their prime but the eighties was an age of bold colours and design so i'd imagine some of the ladies fitting in quite nicely.

[@fujitafunk]

I think it also has more to do with the tides of change and the archetypes they embody. The Stay-at-home Housewife (Betty) was becoming a thing of the past and Betty was literally on the tail end. Whereas the Working woman (Joan) was less prevalent in the past and became more and more accepted in society as time moved forward in the show.

[@ggff3761]

Jay Jay but was Joan really any happier than Betty at the end of it all or throughout the show If not for the cancer they’d both be just as sad, Peggy and Trudy are the only female characters on the show to get a happy ending

[@papl20]

I was so prepared to dislike Betty but I never did, I was always rooting for her, and in all honesty I thought that she was happier in her relationship with Henry and it was showed in how differently she was raising Bobby and Gene. The last step was to get into college, it wasn't "too late", I think she was accepting the passage of time. I'm just happy she got months to live the college experience yet again

[@lauraflowers5385]

I watched mad men twice I never knew how much I had in common with Betty until I watched it again after living with an emotionally abusive husband for 6 years. I realized I am more than a door mat, I’m more than my looks, watching Betty made me realize i had to leave my husband and i have to make more of myself. I was made to think like her that woman care for the family woman have to look and act a certain way but now I realize that BS. This type of thinking didn’t end in the 60s it’s still passed on generation through generation

[@stark976]

❤❤❤

[@yolandafernandez7725]

@@michz9304 you are writing my history, same too. I really understand you.

[@zexoman430]

Women should care for the family but so should men.. and i believe everyone should act on certain ways.

[@i90ent]

What's for dinner?

[@fernandomatos2053]

@@i90ent that killed me 😂

[@Brian_Boru]

Despite her fractured psyche and her sometimes cruel parenting, I felt empathy for Betty. She was often compelling and always interesting. A great character on a show filled with them. January Jones did a superb job bringing Betty to life. Her ultimate fate was heartbreaking.

[@amatya.rakshasa]

I totally disagree that Betty getting her degree was too late. It was critical that she studied towards her degree, despite the fact that she was dying. Betty had finally seized control of her life and fighting to do what was meaningful to her in whatever time she had left. That’s admirable, especially since most of us may be falling apart with a terminal cancer diagnosis. Betty on the other hand was finally becoming her own person and had agency towards the end of her life. Betty, like Don, turned it around and finally started to grow up. Her story is one of hope and human resilience. Like Kevin Spacey’s character in American Beauty. Sure he died but what’s important is that he managed to grow up and change. There is hope for the Bettys and Dons among us. There is hope for you and me. Whatever time we have left on this planet, we are still capable of emotional growth, may yet become better humans, and may still be able to turn things around.

[@christincrawford2729]

Beautiful perspective.

[@Micolashcage1]

Agreed

[@kois196q]

I love your perspective on Betty’s decision. and You are absolutely right

[@denisela105]

Thank you for writing this. It helped.

[@nonokranendonk5812]

Beautifully written

[@EASTNSIM9454]

I always hated seeing how poorly she was treated and taken advantage of, specifically by Don. so loving and compassionate yet naive, that she gets destroyed by don's sociopathic behavior.

[@maddipage1347]

To say she sucked at parenting is harsh. The concept of being great parents is relatively new and certainly in the 60s there wasn’t all the information. I honestly think she parented in the only way she knew

[@popmashups6568]

Ron Garvin she adored Don while he lied to her face several times.

[@mjj7781]

@@maddipage1347 yes, the concept was not there but it's no excuse for her fail. And bc the concept was not there does not mean it's ok to treat your children like that

[@OG-zc2zj]

@Ron Garvin I don't think either don or betty are narcissistic... They do have narcissistic tendencies that most normal people also have (okay, maybe it's exaggerated a bit for television). But they do not seem to be narcissists to me. I feel like most characters on this show are the way they are because of their upbringings, and in the end I can empathize with both don and betty on their actions (doesn't mean I support those actions).

[@mankytoes]

"So loving and compassionate" bloody hell that's a stretch. Do you remember how she fired Carla- "what are yours, doctors and lawyers?". People make a lot of excuses for her but she was a horrible person so often, especially to her children.

[@KW-vy1rf]

Thank you so much for doing this. Betty gets SO MUCH HATE from a lot of Mad Men fans but I've always found her to be such a sad character (and I'm not arguing that she was a good person. None of the MM characters are good people, really, but you still care about them and want to see them change for the better.) Truly a product of her time and feeling so desperate and trapped because of it. Her death in the finale really hit me. Tragedy coming full circle. If only she had gone back to school earlier.

[@samringwald]

Mad Men fans hate Betty because she is a realistic expression of our view of the 1950-60's in the modern era- beautiful, unobtainable, but ultimately disappointing when examined closely. She was a poor parent (by today's standards), treated people of color poorly (she fired her maid unceremoniously and refused to let her say goodbye to the kids she raised) and often said extremely cruel things with little motivation aside from frustration. This is made more complex by the fact that the patriarchy forced her into a certain mindset, so she's not really fully responsible for who she is. Thus, she is both a perpetrator and victim.

[@jasonlefler3456]

K W I think if she had stopped smoking that would’ve been best.

[@tr5947]

On other message boards you can read January Jones being savaged for her acting, but she was perfect as Betty. The reaction to her portrayal reminded me of how many people used to react to the femme mals on daytime soaps (a callback Weiner took advantage of with Megan) in the '60s. People treated those actors like they were real people and their shows were documentaries. To me, there always seemed to be a hint of some type of sexual abuse in Betty's background, but, to his credit, Weiner never went there with fleshing it out, but it seemed to be one of the answers to her character's disturbed personality.

[@jasonlefler3456]

Timothy Rosier January Jones nailed this part to the wall.

[@joshbourdeau4895]

I feel like Betty gets a lot of hate from people who don't understand her. She's perfect on the surface to hide what she's actually feeling. She's probably the most complicated character on the show, and a lot of people can see her for more than a stereotype.

[@salamander8301]

I feel like Betty with her strange friendship with children and the way she flaunts and takes pride in her looks indicates some kind of trauma that happend to her in childhood. Trauma freezes you at the age it occurs, and the focus on her looks points to possible sexual trauma

[@garland522]

Out of all the characters on Mad Men to me, it was Betty Draper who I really felt for. I somehow understood and liked her. Don Draper with all of his constant lying and cheating walked off into a glorious sunset while Betty gets terminal cancer and prepares herself for her ultimate demise. Although I do feel she was very brave for refusing cancer treatments, dealing with her illness on her own terms in her own way, she still deserved better, she deserved personal fulfillment and a happy ending.

[@jodie2294]

She’s very similar to the character of Nora from A Doll’s House - having moved from her father to husband with little transition, childlike in many ways and deeply unhappy. A lot of her actions are for appearances.

[@bennyton2560]

That's my mom too

[@yuffiekisaragi2242]

One of my favorite book

[@mimi9192]

Loved this video. Betty Draper is my favourite character of Mad Men and one of my favourite TV characters of all time. She is written and performed so masterfully and it's a big shame that all her nuance is overshadowed by some of the other characters on the show. Very under appreciated

[@dawngrrrl]

OML I love this! I have so many feelings about Betty Draper aka one of the greatest characters of all time. I just vibe with her on a spiritual level. Thank you for exploring how tragic she is. I only wish this was twice as long.

[@Hendrixdh]

In the words of Bertram Cooper, "Hear hear!"

[@bathasleftthecave]

"I just vibe with her on a spiritual level" - that is such a great comment and one I never thought I'd hear someone say about Betty haha. I feel the same way about Roger Sterling. I've never been as emotionally attached to any TV show in the way I was/am with Mad Men. The writing hit me deep.

[@dawngrrrl]

Danny Hendrix Lol hell yes 👍

[@dawngrrrl]

bathasleftthecave Haha thanks 😀 Ugh I love Roger so much too! So many unforgettable moments with him. Such a fantastic show.

[@joshbourdeau4895]

I completely agree. She's a fantastic character. I don't like that people dismiss her as shallow. She's not that shallow. Her superficiality is a veneer. She's not overly interested in whatever petty problems the people around her have. She has her own interests, her own ideals, her own goals. She does what's expected of her on the surface, but also does what she likes.

[@cyndimoring9389]

I was born in 1955. My mother saw children as an extension, expected perfection but had no time for our emotional needs. I can't get over Betty's treatment of Sally after her grandfather died. This may have been pervasive for the time--these women were all raised during the depression and children's feelings were ignored. My cousins had the same kind of mother, as did my sister-in-law, so I wonder if this was just how it was. In those days you didn't play with your children or have heart to hearts about their feelings. Who else noticed this?

[@AngelinaX23]

I was born in 1947, the eldest of 5 children. My second brother is your age. My mom was just 22-1/2 when I was born, but she always seemed very old to me. She loved me, but because she was also an oldest daughter, she made me do all the same things she had to do: babysit, clean house, take responsibility for the behavior of the younger children. Her main concern for me was that I wouldn't get fat. My parents were the children of immigrants so it was important that we be seen as clean, well-behaved, and have good manners. Appearances very much mattered to the women of the mid-century. Even though their backgrounds were much different, Betty helped me understand my own mother a little better.

[@oooh19]

@@AngelinaX23appearances still matter even now of course; it’s a timeless thing

[@jamezkpal2361]

Betty is a dark empath personality type.

[@cyndimoring9389]

@@jamezkpal2361 probably. All I know is she went the wrong way. My mom was so much like her and now that's she's dead, she comes to me in my dreams as a totally different caring person. She must have been an empath because now she's there for me.

[@cyndimoring9389]

@@AngelinaX23 my parents were always about weight. My dad's brother teased his daughter who has lived with bulimia her whole life. My brother has an obese daughter and I wonder about the subliminal messages sent her way. But yes, it's always about the daughter being able to snag the husband.

[@ArchdukeOfBelgrade]

I watched this brilliant show two times, second time I actually understood the depth and who she was her background etc and liked her character mush more. I was more critical to Don the second time. She was not a bad parent. She seems to be a bad parent to todays standards. Back in the days it was normal that you dont spent time with your dad maybe on weekends to play catch for an hour. Betty was there, and with all she knew and got she tried her best, she was alone, oppressed and controlled by every man and society in that time, she took care of the children, cook, wash tuck them for bed, and still cheated on and lied. SAhe wanted career, she wanted so many things but on the end it wasnt for the that period of time ok.

[@Amethyst_Friend]

Don is a terrible person compared to Betty, lol

[@tmofficial1164]

Like you I did not get Betty until the second viewing. Those calling her a terrible parent haven't been paying attention to Don. She was even mindful about picking her second husband ensuring that he was willing to be the father Don wasn't. Her parents were well off so she was raised to see little of her parents and expected to raise her children the same way. Despite the fact that Don was apparently a millionaire she did household chores as well so she wasn't the princess others thought she was either.

[@dianevanderlinden3480]

I'm not a radical feminist and don't even know how to define feminism nowadays. But anyone who doesn't understand why feminism had to happen needs to watch this show.

[@MENTION-IT-ALL]

💯

[@azugirl111]

It took you a second watching to realize that don is not a good character? Man moment

[@rewer]

She’s a very complicated character, she not a person that only value beauty. She is a person trying to find her true self, but never get it. If she only happy with look and marriage, she would be a happy person with Don.

[@jshepard152]

rewer She's probably the least complicated major character on the show.

[@camillelemmens1745]

I think that is what the video is saying. That she was taught to only value her beauty and her role as a mother, but that she was never happy in this old fashioned ideal. Yet she was never able to let go of it and pursue what would have made her a more happy and fulfilled person. In my eyes, she always stayed the child trying to please/become her mother. The early death of her mother meant that she was never able to either gain her mother's approval or at one point see her mother as a flawed human being (as we all are). It is this looking back, that made it impossible for her to really give her children what they needed. It is only imminent death that forced her/ allowed her to break away from the old fashioned ideals given to her by her mother.

[@ingriddubbel8468]

I think Betty would be difficult to portray because of her character. January Jones worked with little and still did a great job. The character is repellant; she is the ugliest character on this show. Which is of course why she is the most physically beautiful character on Mad Men.

[@ingriddubbel8468]

I have a scarf more complicated than Betty Drapper.

[@ferindies8606]

Ingrid Dubbel uglier than roger?

[@Leosalejandro]

"Everything is going to be ok, birdie" -don draper

[@boringself7275]

:(

[@SarahRamsingh]

Oh, God, stop. I'm at work and I'm gonna cry.

[@MissVintage789]

Why you always lyin'

[@proserfina21096]

it's his last word to her : birdie

[@jeannefrye2128]

"I am here with them all day" Alone and outnumbered....best lines EVER.

[@victoriahale5254]

Jeanne Frye I was like ho one kid is in school for 7 hrs.... chillllll

[@Freshprince0619]

she had Carla do everything... just because American woman are horrible mothers on average doesn't mean you get to sympathize with her. The scene where she's at the top of the stairs and the kids are leaving without her she realized she aint shit LOL

[@lyricistanonymous8126]

GOD forbid a woman has to actually put forth effort& raise her CHILD. How selfish can you be🤦🏾‍♀️😒😒

[@raelowe1034]

@@Freshprince0619 Oh piss off. There are millions of good and bad mothers in the US, no different from anywhere else.

[@cupknee]

@@Freshprince0619 you have the same mentality of those gross men who talk sh*t about american/“western” women then go to asia for sex tourism, get a young impoverished teen girl pregnant then flee the country and never take responsibility

[@bluesummer3075]

I always though that Betty was not a “child” more than any of the characters in Mad Men, yes she did petty and inmature things but the almost the rest of the cast did so too. For me it was a way to infantilize her, to control her and make her less. Don who was very emotional abusive to her say that, the psiquiatric that didn’t respect her and go on to tell her husband the things that she talk in the sessions say that too. Betty for most of her life has been control by men, and make her feel like she is dumb and childish

[@christianone6611]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You NAILED IT!!!!!!!

[@nstar1372]

I agree!

[@sexyblackcharlery]

Exactly

[@PatriciaPerkowski]

Betty's attitude isn't just something of a bygone era it is something many women still feel and deal with today. As women we may be able do "whatever" we want but the ideal of the more beautiful you are the better your life will be is still of major importance. Look at the idolization of the Kardashians. There are still articles about the envy and competition between young mothers. The argument of wheter it is better for a woman to work in or outside the home still rages. As women we are told we have made strides but are still held to the ideals of the 50's - 60's of how a woman should truly be.

[@barbarasmith7663]

Patricia Perkowski Betty has more class than all the Kardashian’s put together

[@janitorthrow2588]

The more beautiful you are the easier your life is, regardless of gender. It is what it is.

[@FernandoTorrera]

No it’s worse to be an ugly woman over an ugly man.

[@issecret1]

Gery A yeah, but you don’t also experience bias in other areas. You have a respite in some part of your life

[@cmg1819]

@@issecret1 You need to grow up

[@john-lukedurham1430]

I do like this analysis but I think it ignores something crucial to Betty's character. The video assumes that Betty is entirely shallow with only an interest in keeping things looking perfect to the outside world. It's true but that doesn't mean she doesn't care for the people around her. I think about season six when Sally buys beer with a fake id and gets suspended. "The good is not beating the bad," Betty says. This says to us that Betty does love Sally, that she wants her to be a good person and is scared that she hasn't succeeded as a mother. Betty wants things to be good. As we all do. And, yes, she has a distorted image of what good looks like but that doesn't mean she doesn't try like the rest of us. She's always trying to solve her problems. Marrying Henry was supposed to be the solution after Don. Binge eating was a solution until it ruined her image and caused more problems. Taking Bobby on his field trip was a solution to her feeling useless as a mother. All in all I just don't see a lot of empathy for Betty in this video and I don't see a lot of empathy for Betty in talks of her character.

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

John-Luke Durham but even as she does this, she is still unhappy.

[@carbonsiren]

exactly! I kept thinking of moments like Betty presenting the idea of seeing a psychiatrist to Don and him instantly gaslighting her over her concerns with happiness, or how every housewife was openly mocking Hellen when she first moved in, and Betty being one of the first to show empathy (even though it manifested within her own moral system as "pity" of "how lonely she must get"). Her attempts to advance beyond her social role were always met with opposition, and I think that the real tragedy of her character was how, up until the end, she suffered while seeking good/self-worth in the limited values which were available to her, such as diligence and properness.

[@gloryglorifikus7428]

I do like this video but I agree that there were under-recognized flourishes of the modern woman in Betty's story that were significant and noteworthy. For example, her behavior in Rome is contrary to her typical demeanor because she's in her element, this setting tapped into an independence and ownership she was once in possession of. She also rebels against Henry rather frequently is far quicker to do so than she ever was with Don, she also has this sexual rapport with him which was completely absent in her relationship with Don. When she chooses to sleep with Don once again while they're both visiting Bobby at camp, the dynamic between the two is entirely different with Betty holding all the cards. She's not entirely crushed by her life.

[@hnyflvr]

John-Luke Durham I

[@VestaRose]

I agree. When she insists on her dad coming to live with them so that she can look after him, that was entirely out of love for her dad and goodness. I think the way she dealt with her diagnosis at the end showed her to be very brave and selfless and that she had grown a lot as a person over the series.

[@stephenmason1028]

I adored her, all the way through, and I don't give a damn what anybody says.

[@isobel64]

same

[@priscillakhapai3623]

Yeah me too

[@eduardovega3406]

Ditto.

[@territ7952]

I felt such emotion for her, trapped it a cage....in a era where beauty got you places and a husband. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, but I think she wanted more, but knew if she stepped out of her cage, people would view her poorly. Because Joan abd other strong female characters, fought tooth and nail to be independent. But were they truly happy???? Joan ended up alone in the end, so as females, it’s about finding balance of things in our lives, true purpose. Be it our families or our careers.

[@moonbeeps]

I felt really sad for her, I kinda related at sometimes, but most of the time she was a real bitch, horrible person. But on the other hand, Don was worse, at least in their relationship.

[@estopasowner]

Mad men is my favorite TV show and I love your essays about the show. Please try to make more Mad Men videos.

[@afonsolucas2219]

They're gonna make one for each main significant character. Be patient. Quality takes time.

[@feyrol42]

Mad Men is so well written that Screen Prism could make so many videos exploring the characters, themes and the era just from this show. Honestly, one of the best written shows ever.

[@estopasowner]

I hope the make a Peggy Olson video soon enough

[@estopasowner]

and a Sally Draper of course

[@abramsullivan7764]

Yes please do a video for Peggy Olson for MAD MEN fans.

[@karaa7595]

Until you've been a stay-at-home parent with a spouse who works 50+ hours a week, don't even attempt to judge Betty.

[@janetpelletier1238]

It was also very sad, how at the beginning, she was so happy with Don. When she realized she was being duped and used - other women, work accessory - how depressed and angry she became.

[@juliannehannes11]

I'm not a stay at home wife and mother and even I know the job is two full time jobs packed in one

[@AkireMaru]

@@juliannehannes11I don’t think that’s the problem. The issue is being an intelligent human being and being confined to a life of monotony.

[@megb7758]

Sure we can we should Betty showed herself to be immature and cruel to her kids. Don mistreated her and wasn't around enough, both things can be true.

[@anastasia10017]

in those days a woman was supposed to go from her father's home to her husband's home. so in effect, her father supported her financially and then her husband supports her for the rest of her life. that is how it was supposed to be. Not only did it keep women financially controlled by men, it also kept her in a permanent role of child. Some women were happy with that. It meant they could coast through life. Some women were unhappy because they had to squelch their ambition. some women were unhappy, but they didn't see any other way of life. and don't forget that divorce was not an option. In those days if your husband beat you and you ran back to your parents, generally you were sent back to your husband and told to make the best of it. Divorce was not socially acceptable. No fault divorce did not come into effect until the 1970's which coincides with the women's lib movement. Then all of a sudden, everyone was getting divorced.

[@davewriter100]

@Julia A Divorce may have been an option, but it wasn't popular. It was considered scandalous back then, and it was also the era that if a husband beat his wife, then she must have done something to deserve it. If a woman decided that enough was enough and left her husband, she stood a chance of losing everything she held dear with the exception of her children. Social circles turned on them in a heartbeat, neighbours began to think differently of them, they were criticized and gossiped about viciously, and they stood to lose things like the family home and a lot of money. Many women were made to think that it was better and more convenient to stay with the husband than tangle themselves in a web, even if they didn't have low self-esteem. Only if the wife's life was in danger was divorce the option, and even then, they had to go though a lot of hurdles, and the man's reputation doesn't get so much as a dent. It was a really conservative era, and I don't know how religious this community was, but this was certainly the case in many conservative Christian communities, and such attitudes still survive there even as we head into the 2020's.

[@mjohnson1741]

@Julia A Ah...you could get a divorce but it was a lot harder. Suicide rates among women dropped 20% when this happened. Even if you did get a divorce could you support yourself as a woman w/children probably not? So you had to quickly look to another man to marry.

[@mirjanamirjana2045]

Now woman can't be a housewife she doesn't have a choice because her paycheck is needed for 1 month expenses!

[@anywaythewindblows8912]

My grandparents were married in 1954 with 6 kids and made decisions together and the marriage was a partnership. He supported her and she supported him. They were married for 60 years

[@Me-mb1ex]

Julia A In the U.S. no fault divorce was not a thing until the 70’s. It could be done but both partners had to agree to it. My grandpa spent the better part of the 60’s trying to divorce my grandma but she wouldn’t allow it due to her Catholic beliefs. Once the law was changed he was able to get a divorce without her say so.

[@diamondsgal76]

Mad Men is such a well-written, perfectly executed show that no major character is one-dimensional and there are no moments where the story loses its track. Betty Draper is one of my favourite characters, not because of her beauty, but because of her multifaceted complexity. She was born and raised at an era where women were accessories to men and the definition of success was a good marriage. She is the archetypal Miss American Pie. It’s also mentioned that she has an anthropology degree from Bryn Mawr and speaks fluent Italian, and she takes up modelling. Nonetheless, she is treated as a gorgeous porcelain doll by her husband and pretty much every other man. I see her struggle between the old pre-feminism values and the changing world of the 1960’s as one of the most important storylines in any show.

[@Paul94096]

Thank you so much for this! I've always said Betty Draper is very quietly the most complex and interesting character on Mad Men. Such a well done character played BEAUTIFULLY by January Jones.

[@LordofBroccoli]

It was always hard for me to identify with Betty. I understood her, but moments like when Sally had the plastic bag on her head and Betty only cared about whether her clothes was still clean and folded made me shake my head. I will say however that this video gave me some deeper insight into Betty, which I appreciate for sure. Great video!

[@mimzwashere]

Marc Shanahan that plastic bag moment was more of an anachronism. They didn’t really know about how dangerous that was in the 60’s

[@AmericasComic]

I relate to her. I'd like to think that I'm not as toxic or out of control as she is, but I think she represents an amplified version of a lot of the insecurities and utter bullshit that goes on inside of my head. That little irrational voice that worries too much about appearance or how you stand with the world, or your value as a body. As a (hopefully) mature adult, it's a voice that I've learn how to ignore and mitigate, but it's also one that can never really fully go away. To me - I associate her with Pete a lot. Where as Betty has an out of control super-ego, Pete is all Id (this whiney, selfish entity; "why can't I just have it all at once?") and both are my favorite characters on the show.

[@tiyabear]

What got to me is when Sally's mourning Grandpa Gene and Betty just says to stop being hysterical and all the grown-ups just leave the poor kid on the floor crying and no one goes to comfort her. Neither Don and Betty are good parents, but even though I understand why both parties are damaged, Betty's a freaking refrigerator.

[@Paul94096]

She was by far my favorite character from episode 1. I always said, for me, Betty Draper was *the* most fascinating character on the entire show because for all her STUNNING beauty and grace, she was so broken, psychologically and emotionally. Her beauty drew me in, not in a sexual way since I'm gay, but on a deeper level. And as the episodes went by, I found myself inexplicably transfixed by her everytime she was on screen. Trapped in a house of cards of her own making but unwilling to move beyond it. I could see that in every frame she was in and identified so hard with it. She's just another great character in the pantheon of great great characters that is Mad Men.

[@lizzy__brock]

Marc Shanahan i almost despised her watching mad men the first time. I’m rewatching now, and have a whole new respect but sadness for her . As superficial as she is, the writers made so many levels to her.

[@ykMMD]

"Are you two sold separately?" lmao

[@belladalena2930]

Betty always gave me Lana Del Rey vibes that kind of sad girl persona which is why i think she’s a much more interesting character than most people give her credit for

[@jaymichelle8357]

My word another fantastic break down as always, I love mad men. that you did show and one of my favorite characters is Betty just because of the exact breakdown you gave, she is a tragic and beautiful story, it’s just so heart wrenching and how you guys broke it down was just phenomenal...keep up the great work

[@lilylikesmarkies]

I never attached Don’s nickname for her and her bird shooting scene before. This show just keeps on giving! Great video

[@Whatsinaname_]

I was waiting for this one. Thanks ScreenPrism and it was cool y'all put this up on Mother's Day

[@danam5272]

I loved when she puked in Don's brand new Cadillac. A brilliantly perfect scene!

[@moustik31]

Betty Draper has always been my favorite character in the series because I relate to her struggles. I was raised in a very Conservative environment where I was told to strive to achieve the perfect body, go to an elite college and have a perfect career. I was brought up to despise spinsters and that the most beautiful I was, the most "high value" husband I could catch. anyway, to cut a long story short. I loved my mother and believed that the future she had planned (and worked hard) for me was worthy. it took watching Betty Draper misery after getting all that to open my eyes: mothers don't know as much as they think they do and we mustn't let them live through our "successes". we are not born to heal the wounds of their own path but to carve our own at the best of our abilities. it's more important to be true to oneself than to conform to what our mothers expect us to be. it took me a lot of heardache to find that out and my relationship with my mother isn't as good as when she was proud of me and bragging about my accomplishments to her friends. I won't lie and pretend that I haven't lost a lot at a great cost but I'm ready to start a new chapter and I hope the relationships in this one will be genuine, deep and unconditional. that I will learn to love men, family and friends for what they are and not what they look like and that they will do the same for me.

[@adinace]

You forgot a crucial detail with Betty in season two losing out on her dream to become a model again: she was used as a bargaining chip by the guy from McCann to lure Don away from Sterling Cooper.

[@flightofthebumblebee9529]

And for once Don was right, that was a SERIOUSLY low class move.

[@sabrinafrni64]

What a great video. I truly believe Betty is one of the greatest TV characters ever, I think she gets her redemption at the end with the letter to Sally. The fact she finally understands her daughter, and is fully accepting of her is the most heartbreaking, bittersweet moment of the show.

[@AstrOlenna]

Yay Betty Draper. I remember feeling so bad for character. Peggy Olson next please.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

olenna natsu yeah and how she deals with the superficial world that the other three you've covered where enmeshed in

[@callumbrady88]

Elisabeth Moss is a genius. Peggy almost took over as THE main character

[@chelagenie]

The show should've ended with Don getting lung cancer and Betty meditating in bliss whilst she finds herself in happiness. Edit: ok how about this, they should've BOTH ended up with a sad ending. Betty was horrible to Sally, that's true. But Don deserved a sad ending also. But maybe that's the lesson.. Just do you, do whatever the hell you want. lie, manipulate, be a narcissist, just do you and nothing can get in the way of your happiness even if you're a horrible person. That was Don. But Betty, it's almost like she was the reason for her own unhappiness. Yes Don mentally abused her and she had to endure the pain of deceit and being treated like she was nothing, but she LET all the anger build up inside her and LET it turn her into an unfulfilled, abusive (towards her innocent children) bitch. It's all about esteem I guess. SELF esteem. How you see your SELF. Don was such a shitty person but he still had a happy ending, why? Because he felt he was deserving of it. High self esteem. Betty's esteem was crushed, she allowed herself to gain weight, she acted on anger, her esteem was low, therefore she had an unhappy ending. Sucks. But, just goes to show you gotta be STRONG. And you gotta have a HIGH SELF ESTEEM and see your own VALUE and SELF WORTH.

[@deelighted]

Ugh! 100% agree!

[@jam8539]

why though, she's a vindictive bitch who let herself get walked on by over people, she deserved exactly what happened to her

[@virtuaspeedone]

Who hurt you

[@beforeveryou295]

Yes!!!

[@65g4]

Dont be silly it had to be a happy ending for Don he had been through so much

[@ZombieInvader]

I've always had a complicated relationship with the character of Betty because, to me, she has been important in understanding my grandmothers. My parents were born in the early/mid sixties, so my grandparents are the generation of most of the characters (my father and his siblings even line up well with the ages of the Draper children). Betty getting divorced and immediately remarrying, her parenting style, and the way she views beauty, all have mirrors in my own family.

[@studiostyx7075]

Same, tbh. I actually think the character of Betty provides some valuable insight into the mindset of previous generations, what influenced or subsequently limited the choices women made, what lessons they passed on to their own daughters. I think there were far more Bettys than we realize, including in our own families.

[@janetpelletier1238]

My mother was Betty - presentation, not knowing how to be a mother, rules, roles and duties. I saw it as a product of where/what she came from...not necessarily who she was. Otherwise, I'd be slagging her like so many do of their parents of people my age. I know we were as hard on her as she was on us. LOL, I wore sweat pants to school for three years, every day, that took a long time for her to come to terms with. Not proper girl attire.

[@sexyblackcharlery]

Yes definitely relate

[@giuliadalterio3085]

I don't think we are far from the 60s because in this era appearance and beauty seems to be EVERYTHING

[@Juvia1998]

Giulia D'Alterio yes but back then it was only beauty, now beauty and smarts/skills are valued equally

[@Rita-ui5ie]

I so agree!

[@moonbeeps]

@Genevieve Giles But that's been that way forever. How many times have you seen a couple where one is ugly and the other one is really gorgeous? Almost never. People are superficial and if they are aware of their beauty, they will pick the most gorgeous partner they can get.

[@moonbeeps]

@Genevieve Giles I consider humor, maturity and intelligence the most important, but I feel the pressure of society too, even my mom has criticized some of my past partners for not being "too handsome", and it gets in my head :(

[@mjohnson1741]

More than just that look at workplaces in America majority of the CEO's are white men. The whole metoo movement...not a lot has changed. All women need to be aware of this but it's VERY disappointing that 60% of married WW voted for Trump, I don't get it and I'm certainly not being political at all.

[@bb1111116]

A bit of defense for Betty. If you had been alive & old enough to be aware when Kennedy was killed (and later MLK) you would have been shaken up too. As for the tragedy of Betty’s life, for people with average incomes / average skills, Betty’s life is pretty typical. Not everyone is a successful entrepreneur or is free to drastically change their circumstances & land on their feet with no serious negative consequences.

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

That may be true, but I am wondering if she would have been happy trying to get some kind of job or hobby. Occasionally one has to shake out of their comfort zones.

[@bb1111116]

Judy Johnsen; I’m trying to give some understanding to average folks who just do OK. As I recall in Mad Men, Betty tried to do modeling but she didn’t get a job from it. She was discouraged by the experience. In life the job/business may fall through. A mom can end up divorced + no child support. A 9 to 5 job can have no pension/benefits. There can be health issues. A person can end up broke. Not everyone is a big success or finds enlightenment.

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

bb1111116 you are right

[@sexyblackcharlery]

Exactly

[@angie-tq4ew]

I remember feeling so annoyed with Betty at the beginning of the series - saying constantly "What the hell, Betty!" lol As the show went on though, I realized that she was just a child in a grown woman's body - a beautiful woman whom people (especially men) will tend to coddle. So sad, but it happens more than we realize. Another great analysis, ladies. 😊❤️

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

And then they get angry with her when she acts like a coddled child.

[@angie-tq4ew]

Jessica Victoria Carrillo Exactly.

[@prefetchify]

Betty was the ultimate victim of Don Drapper. Anxiety attack from being ‘caged’ in a suburb, petty jealousy from Don’s affairs, and ultimately, cancer from Don’s advertising.

[@conversandoando]

God, this channel is so good at analysing characters. I've just finished watching the entire Mad Men series and I love all your related reviews. Great job!

[@jams4368]

This show was so well written! I will always respect shows that are not sold by their audience

[@chaostears]

i feel like i’ve known many women like betty growing up in my parents group of friends so it surprises me when people look on her so harshly. the approach to her character is much more subtle than peggy, but no less impactful

[@LSSYLondon]

My mother is Betty Draper. Right down to the second husband, the partial masters degree, and the mother that died of cancer. She is stunning - blonde blue eyed thin etc...Even some of her comments " if the clothes are on the floor of my closet you are going to be a very sorry little lady"- is EXACTLY how my mother reacted to me playing with the dry cleaner bags as a child. I'm not even 30 yet but I see how my mother became that way. The judgement and obsession with image. It is a very Nordic thing, deny you are unhappy, deny anything is wrong while having a mental breakdown, unhealthily treating food etc...She was a harsh parent- slapping me across my face when I disappointed her. Married to wealth but came from some money herself. Cruel. Jealous of her own child at times- would make out of line comments to me as a kid. But at other times she could be almost kind.

[@chaostears]

Lissy London honestly its not even a nordic thing, many of the asian parents i know, including my own, are the same. it’s a generational thing

[@bennyton2560]

@@chaostears My asian mom is the same

[@rawlespringer3917]

plleaseee pleaasee pllleasse do Pete Campbell..such a complex and rich character

[@helene02184]

Rawle Springer yes!!!

[@tr5947]

Not enough compliments could be given to Vincent Kartheiser for his performance.

[@ririschannelx]

Rawle Springer yesssss he was fascinating

[@brianstiles1701]

I despised Pete so much, at the same time my heart would break for him.

[@amityislandchum]

Lol Pete Campbell is the fucking worst.

[@BlkbirdM]

I'm beyond pleased with this video. Betty Draper was an outstanding character, quite underrated but equally magnificent. Her struggle was incredibly real and showed how important her story was. Great job

[@YouTuber-my2ky]

I am a working empowered independent woman that modern media loves to idealize. Honestly, the more I live this life, the more I long for a good permanent partner who can take off some of the burden of the entire world off my shoulders. Nothing is perfect! A wholesome life is a balancing act.

[@loveyastillthen8994]

Say it loud sister

[@halwaffles]

Say it louder for the people in the back!

[@mjohnson1741]

Yes dear, but it's also about CHOICE, choice for women to live lives that work for women on an INDIVIDUAL basis, that was part of women's lib. Some women are more traditional some women are not, there is not a right or wrong answer to that, that's a trap just like pro life vs pro choice. Whatever works for you when it works for you is the right answer there is NOT a wrong way to go about life.

[@mjohnson1741]

I'll add I don't think we culturally celebrate "independent" women, quite the contrary we condemn them. Old maid w/cats, spinsters, "hitting the wall" "independent feminist nazi" etc nothing really negative is said bout women who go the traditional route. How many times do you hear cruel things about Jennifer Anitston's relationship status very seldom do we criticize men's.

[@studiostyx7075]

@@mjohnson1741 THIS

[@jeanne_guitton]

Betty's friendship with Glen Bishop is among the more creepy elements of the show.

[@vickjr98]

Loool remember that scene in season one when he walked in on her in the toilet smh

[@ahhh4117]

a little over 10 years ago, when i was 8 my best friend was a 17 y/o boy. I taught him boundaries, and he taught me patience. Boy was a doormat, I was painfully impatient. He went to college and I never saw him again. In a lot of ways, he was still a little boy, and in a lot of ways I was too adult for my peers. It makes more sense now that I know we were both autistic

[@nkwari]

yeet my waffles - you need to write that into a book or screenplay!

[@goku8621]

It’s More sad than creepy

[@princessd3966]

@Wolfie If it was a little girl and a nice 30yo lonely man looking for friendship with that little girl , would it still not be creepy ?

[@МаринаСмаль-г4р]

She is my favorite character on the show. I mean I felt a whole range of emotions towards her during the series: from pity through hatred to admiration. I believe her development is the most interesting one.

[@reelmi7684]

More Mad Men essays pls!

[@Design____ByS]

I loved Betty. She's so tragic. I can't hear the letter she writes to her daughter without crying.

[@LeviBulger]

January Jones crushed this role. I think her performance was the best of all the incredible actors this show had. As much as I appreciated Moss and Hendricks, Jones should have been the Emmy winner in at least two of the seasons.

[@2flowers116]

This shit almost makes me uncomfortable. I mean all of it makes sense but it makes me so uneasy. I guess thats always how it is when someone has to change themselves, they have to do it for themselves, but it still hurts to see. nice video though:(

[@RPowell43]

[" I always believed Betty and Don were closer and more compatible than they think, if only Betty wasn't so uptight, let go and projected her quirky wild impulsive self more. "] Really? So, she's to blame for the failure of her marriage and not the cheating and emotionally distant husband who lied to her since they first met? Fuck that shit!

[@uncleterry1703]

She is a horrible person. Much worse than Don!

[@nstar1372]

Nope

[@blacjackdaniels200]

This show really makes you stop and evaluate your life. I’ve been around for over 40 years and never have. I looked in the mirror as hard as I did after watching this show. It really depicts how quickly things connect whether it’s your career, your marriage, or your life. You better handle each of those things in every aspect of your life with dignity, because in the end, that’s what’s going to matter to you. None of us want to die but not everyone wants to do over. Some people are happy and satisfied with what they accomplished. Several of these characters are living a lie. Some people get second and third and fourth chances. Some people don’t even get a second chance. None of us know how many chances we will get. Right the ship in your own life. To me, that’s the message of the show, or at least one of them. That’s what I got out of it anyway.

[@anastasia10017]

This analysis of betty acts as if betty decided to have this life and unhappiness for herself. She didnt. She was brought up by her parents and society of the time to be a wife and mother. A proper young lady was supposed to go from her father's home to her husband's home. That is what parents wanted for their daughters and what society demanded. That was the ideal. To be a housewife was a good thing. Marriage was her ultimate goal. Betty was doing exactly what she was trained to do. To not be married or to be divorced was a huge, huge failure. There were millions of women raised to be just like Betty. Being stuck in the suburbs isolated her. There are no job opportunities for her in the suburbs and she couldnt leave the home because she had to be home to supervise the children. The other women in the show lived in the city where they could more easily slip into finding other opportunities and they had no children to babysit.

[@kay8698]

She was unhappy because she had kids, kids take away your freedom, they are a burden, and make you vulnerable and dependent on a man,

[@Snazzy12341]

Plenty of women in the show are raised like her and grew up in similar conditions as her. But guess what, they took control of their life. They took risks that go against the status quo. And for that, they grew up and mature. They were able to adapt to the changing times, as said in the video, while she was not.

[@sexyblackcharlery]

Thank you, very true

[@danpatrick24]

Thank you for posting. Betty was always my favorite character. She was tragic (in the classical sense of the word), and I always felt she was more authentic than the other characters on the show.

[@enx2526]

Aaaahh i've waiting for this video for so long. I love Betty Draper, she's such a complex character. She's a victim of her circumstances, of her own context (and of the patriarchy, of course). I love this channel so damn much. Thanks for making these great videos. Greetings from Mexico!

[@RegalCandy]

I identify with Betty Draper so much and I too am a house wife. I wonder how she could’ve evolved. This video hit home.

[@haunted14]

Love this so much. Mad Men is so deep and nuanced that it’s perfect for these video essays. You should do one on Sally. I loved her character.

[@nativefraulein5801]

Back when I first saw the season finale I was sad at the conclusion of Betty's story. Now a few years later, the mother of a daughter myself, the letter scene in which Betty describes in detail the way she wants to be buried to Sally absolutely breaks my heart.

[@diorme7510]

This is still going on everyday for women....botox, plastic surgery, diets and designer clothes, cars, jewelry, homes and lives are still the goal for many women. It is a horrible illusion that advertising still perpetuates. I am glad I took the road of being myself and expecting to be loved for who I really am. I would be a psychological mess if I hadn't.

[@AFK-47x]

This is such a great analysis of character. I am the exact opposite of the Betty Draper character in every conceivable way, however the contextualization of this essay gave me a deeper understanding of her... and a sense of empathy that genuinely moved me. Well done!

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

I wonder how Trudy can be explained, aside from Trudy being more confident and actually enjoys and wanted to be a mother for something other than status.

[@dewismaximus]

I really hope you do a video on Pete Campbell. While he is terrible, he's my favorite character on the show.

[@__hjg__2123]

Pete is Don's mini-me.......

[@jashmodi]

Pete won the race at the end

[@cyndeepayton8068]

He was just creepy..

[@flightofthebumblebee9529]

Pete had an extremely sexy wife he did not deserve. I did learn to like Pete eventually.

[@emilythenormal]

Although I personally can't relate to her, Betty Draper is definitely one of the most interesting and well-written characters on the show! You hit the nail on the head regarding how she missed the opportunity to grow into her own person (removed from the identities of "housewife" and "mother") until it was too late. It something that most women of that era went through because, as you stated, they did not usually have the support of the people around them (friends, family, society as a whole) to encourage them to pursue their own dreams instead of (or in addition to) marriage and motherhood.

[@studiostyx7075]

I feel like this doesn't get stressed enough, that whether we like it or not we start out as products of our conditioning, and that the choices we go on to make either align with that or defy it. And to do the latter, Betty would have had to work even harder, risk more, and want more for herself than she was told she could have. And without the support base you speak of, that would have been a virtually impossible choice.

[@joepolise290]

Betty grew as a person, in quiet ways, throughout the last two seasons. True , she was a housewife, sometimes unhappy, but she died stoically, and took what the cards had in store for her with bravery.

[@Guy_LastName]

i just finished the series during quarantine , gonna give it a few months probably before rewatching it. it's my favorite show right now.

[@Dr.HouseMD]

I’m in my 6th watch-through of this series. Please keep these videos coming lol.

[@Tardis5005]

I would love to see a video analysing the character development of Peggy Olson!

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Nighteyes I would like to see Peggy as a Bridget Jones of her time only smarter than the film version was in the sequels

[@harryhipperson1280]

Its also a tragic irony that despite being beautiful and desirable on the outside. Her eventual demise is that she is literally rotting on the inside. Your beautiful appearance doesn’t save you

[@spitfire18]

Wow, you guys really opened my eyes for this tragic character! I watched the whole show about 3 times now, and after the 2nd time I caught myself skipping most of the parts where Betty shows up. Actually I couldn't stand her cold, uncaring appearance because she reminded me of my own mother and her selfish behavior. I think I've learned something about Betty Draper today - and maybe also about my own childhood. Thank you!

[@redfullmoon]

She reminds me so much of my grandmother. Even on her deathbed she was so vain and obsessed with how she looked. She only ever associated her value with appearance.

[@markduran8452]

Amazing. Completely changed the way I see Betty Draper.

[@thisaccountsucks5556]

I also like this video (minus the plug from the uploader). This explanation of Betty Draper makes me feel like the writers made her narrative sort of left-wing; consider the symbolism. Deep analysis of characters can be gained from really thinking about and comprehending things. Anyone can do it, but the thinking is already "all" done in some videos, textual works, etc. A baby sees merely colors from watching television, how much more meaningful it is to see much further meaning.

[@mimi9192]

Love these videos, can we get one on Pete Campbell next? His character almost has a similar tragic arc too

[@jengrenko]

I was relieved to see that he and Trudy were seemingly going to live happily ever after at the end.

[@Head_Turnah]

Lane Pryce, too. I felt like he was one of the few genuine guys in Mad Men.

[@mimi9192]

Omg yes, so tragic

[@bendalymckenna6271]

Mimi Pete Campbell is the worst character of Mad Men.

[@proserfina21096]

@@bendalymckenna6271 Harry Crane is much worst than Campbell.

[@mandala314]

I think Mad Men explained Betty perfectly in the first season: "Women want what we tell them men want." The whole point of media (paintings, illustrations, then newspapers, magazines, radio, tv, etc) has always been to convince people to buy things they don't *need* and as an afterthought, content was created to support the advertising.

[@jahimjauh-hey5653]

Thank you for still making these. This show had so many deep characters worth studying.

[@darlenev9988]

I love Betty

[@charles1964]

I could never understand all the hate either. Imagine being married to the kind of guy that skips out of his own daughter's birthday party, and all the other grimy sh1t Don did?

[@NataliaBiasi]

I've been waiting for this! I love her character, her death was so sad...but it makes perfect sense.

[@nzee770]

Betty was a prisoner of her times.

[@paisan8766]

I’m a 30 year old man, and I was think, 27 for the last season of Mad Men. Betty’s funeral letter to Sally made me cry my eyes out when I saw it

[@flightofthebumblebee9529]

It was Henry breaking the news to Sally and HIM bursting into tears (not Sally) that made me teary eyed. Henry loved her so much.

[@DodaGarcia]

One of the things I find most admirable about Mad Men is how realistic it is not only in the way people lie to each other, but also in how they lie to themselves. That moment when Betty says "I've fought for plenty in my life" is so obviously untrue, but it's also easy to see why she'd want to believe it. Justifying herself and her (avoidance of) choices to the very end.

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

I think her everyday was a fight.