Madame Web - YMS

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[@YMS]

We streaming. KZbin: www.KZbin.com/@YMSPlays/live Twitch: www.twitch.tv/ymsplays

[@alberto.jaramillo]

This was good, i can wait for your synecdoche review now.

[@CaptianDerp69]

i thought madam web was a old blind woman , idk who that lady is supposed to be?

[@wombatjack3995]

@@AmazingLucasExposedstfu and go protest black on black gang violence like a good usual suspect

[@Lesley_RedRhody]

@@CaptianDerp69 She’s Fifty Shades of Miscast.

[@tombielecku799]

You gonna make a vid on the holdovers 🥺

[@AlexWebb101]

My favourite part of Madame Web was when the villain was heroically defeated by Pepsi

[@kerobop]

technically it was just the "S" from Pepsi

[@comixproviderftw_02]

Ezekiel dies via Pepsi sign. Specifically the letter S. This represents that Spider-Man starts with S.

[@DOOMStudios]

Can’t wait for your future video: “how the internet turned Madame Web into a meme.”

[@AdahnFlorence]

You're confusing this with Pepsi man, the corporate hero.

[@ahmadkaien]

​@@comixproviderftw_02 *Yells* SYMBOLISM, IM SMART

[@Imgema]

"I'm giving this a 1. It's closer to a 10 than a 2".

[@donovanjoseph737]

integer underflow

[@hakancarlsson2881]

He should have used that line!

[@ajford3973]

The reason why “he was in the Amazon with my mom where she was researching Spiders right before she died” went viral is because it’s the perfect example of delivering exposition as awkward and unbelievable as you can. She sounded like she was in a Nathan Fielder show.

[@guyanomaly]

To be fair, DJ always sounds like she’s in a Nathan Fielder bit.

[@Dyrnwynn]

​@@guyanomalyIts weird. She's been quite good in a few movies, including Suspiria as Adam mentioned. The other stuff I've seen her in, she was either somewhat wooden or outright terrible.

[@Kango234]

Not just that, but it feels like they stuck the part about spiders in at the last second to remind everyone this is a Spider-Man movie.

[@TheZigzagman]

​@@Dyrnwynn Maybe the directors on the movies you like are better than the ones you don't.

[@gyromothman]

I’d compare it to the “THIS IS KATANA” line from Suicide Squad but that wouldn’t sell how much worse this movie is than SS 2016

[@MM-jc7uv]

This movie was a waste of madame time

[@iamthewizardwhoknocks2845]

👏

[@erinford4267]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@versaillestheeverything]

Underrated comment afffff 😂

[@CERTAIND00M]

"Be the cringe you want to see in the world." -Adum Web

[@mpeanut5066]

Adame Web

[@unseen289]

Madum Web

[@carter_lovejoy]

mAdum Web

[@milhouseaintnomeme]

Madumb Web

[@bluechalk6275]

Dakota Johnson seems completely jaded with the film industry and is now passively trolling everyone around her. Welcome back, Marlon Brando.

[@ross6789]

She’s truly in her Island of Dr Moreau era with this one.

[@debodatta7398]

>Dakota Johnson seems completely jaded with the film industry and is now passively trolling everyone around her. Welcome back, Marlon Brando. Genuinely so cringe, you know she's an advanced nepo baby right, so advanced regular nepo babies complain about how many connected family members she has...

[@dobtoronto]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@debodatta7398does her having connected parents discount her being jaded?

[@rensenwaremp3]

nepo baby who still somehow manages to have godawful management booking her on projects like this, i'd be jaded too! ​@@debodatta7398

[@hope-cat4894]

​@@debodatta7398The fact that her connections hasn't gotten her into a good movie shows those connections don't mean anything. It's not advancing her career for one thing.

[@KachZz]

My favourite part was when villain said "It's non of your business" and she said "I'm gonna make it MADAME business"

[@DingbatToast]

Now that's a catchphrase

[@MooMooCow95]

I’m here for this fanfiction nonsense

[@AnoNymous-dh2sv]

> "I'm gonna make it MADAME business" and then she stabs the villain's neck, with her high heel.

[@manboy4720]

@@AnoNymous-dh2sv and then everyone clapped, and the director got an award.

[@OokileyGMR]

✋ 😑 🤚 Absolute cinema

[@NatsumiMovies]

This entire movie feels like it was scientifically engineered for an Adum & Pals video

[@koenvandamme6901]

I'm not sure, does it have furries?

[@winterzealot]

Hell yeah

[@TerrenceNowicki]

I'm looking forward to the inevitable Madvomovies release.

[@frederickshaibani5655]

I can't WAIT until Scoot comes in with some spicy takes on it lmao

[@shawklan27]

"He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died." Is one of the most inspired lines in movie history. Truly moving stuff.

[@lakegroce685]

I saw the memes before the trailer, I was like “ There is no way this is a real line. There is no way a real human could write and listen to that and think that is good.” And then I watched the trailer and remembered life is strange than fiction. Like did a scalper who worked during the strike write this?

[@carter_lovejoy]

1990: “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.” 2024: “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.” Truly an evolution of film for sure… 😬🤦🏼‍♂️

[@bananasinfrench]

And that, folks, is why you always read your drafts aloud before calling them final

[@robotrix]

And Nepo Baby Dakota finds nothing wrong with that She's her mother's daughter for sure.

[@PrimmsHoodCinema]

3:49 I like how the actress acts like that line is normal lol. It's not. It's robotic and amateurish.

[@thejesuschrist]

thank you

[@hanifarroisimukhlis5989]

omg it's jesus herbrand christ!

[@kimorayn1733]

Many blessings on this Morbumiss day, m'Lord!

[@kikosawa]

i haven't yet sinned today, which one should i commit?

[@J-Pow]

Jesus knows what's up

[@manboy4720]

hey, i'm glad you got out that cave!

[@WackyJack322]

You can't convince me that these Not-Spiderman movies aren't some sort of "Springtime for Hitler" fraud scheme.

[@thunderpantz]

From my understanding, Sony has a 5 year grace period to make a picture with the property before the rights revert back to Marvel.

[@nagger8216]

​​@@thunderpantz^This. That's the only reason these movies exist, that and Sony trying to hop on the cinematic universe train (like 5 years after that trend faded away). It's the same reason we were going to get another Spider-Man trilogy not even 10 years after the original trilogy concluded. These Sinister Six (or whatever the fuck) movies are very similar to those shitty Amazing Spider-Man films in almost every aspect, from the corporate side of it to the final product being a giant piss-take. We're basically getting spin-offs of those two movies right now.

[@Rebazar]

Really all corporate IP fuckery is fraud if you think about it for a second

[@sandequation2653]

It's got to be. They are stacking the rosters for each one with the most obviously poor crew choices. They must be sabotaging the scripts too, because we know from Lady Ghostbusters that they test these movies endlessly.

[@Maxisamo1]

​@@thunderpantzRight, so they basically HAD to make these pieces of shit (though they could have put more effort in) in order to hold onto the rights

[@seanb.6793]

Teens needing an empty theatre to be alone with your date? Here’s your movie.

[@thunderpantz]

Popcorn surprise with the Dune 2 sandworm bucket.

[@jesusramirezromo2037]

Somewhere out there, A baby has been conceived in a Madam Web screening

[@legochickenguy4938]

@@jesusramirezromo2037 his name? adolf hitler jr.

[@cosmosofinfinity]

@@jesusramirezromo2037How do I shot web?

[@morgangunning30]

I'm not a teen but I did drag my boyfriend to see wonka with me last week and the theater was entirely deserted. it was actually a wonderful time

[@Deepfried_duck]

The main villain in the movie gets hit by a vehicle twice and dies by a falling Pepsi sign

[@kimorayn1733]

As you do...

[@donovanjoseph737]

Don't drink soda kids, it'll kill you...

[@russellhunter363]

Death by Pepsi

[@jareththegoblinking3191]

Id say it was because it was his fate to die that way abd not by anything else but that sounds dumb

[@bleach00101]

My favorite part was when the teenage girls asked Dakato Johnson if she would protect them and she said “I missed the part where that’s my problem”

[@luiginastro8831]

Dakato 💀

[@pond0479]

Bully Johnson.

[@turnipbeybladespinner7836]

"You'll get your protection when you fix this DAMN DOOR" - Bully Johnson

[@gazem_3211]

And then she says "see ya chump" before driving away.

[@TheTrueChuster]

Then she proceeded to dance around them while the hit-song "Had Sex Pooped my Pants".

[@brendo7363]

Dakota Johnson is an absolute personality vacuum and the best possible choice for a character nobody could ever possibly care about.

[@kimorayn1733]

I couldn't escape the Madame's Web.

[@14funnybunny1]

She’s a bad actress to me. Nepobaby

[@TheGatita990]

you're so wrong

[@yurilouback6331]

Gotta agree. I don't usually pay much attention to acting, unless it's out of the ordinary good/bad. At one point watching Madam Web I noticed Dakota's character didn't really seem to have any kind of personality whatsoever. She was just...There. Felt like a robot trying to emulate human feelings

[@star-rock6466]

​@@14funnybunny1 wtf does nepobaby even means ?

[@lanzer22]

That's the highest praise I've ever heard for a 1/10 movie

[@nagger8216]

Excuse you, you missed a '0'

[@thisisnotaustin1]

@@nagger8216 1/100

[@devilmaycrysarockingdontcome]

​@@nagger8216 1/100?

[@unquestionableexistance8704]

​@@nagger82161/100 Yeah that makes sense :)

[@chexmixkitty]

@@nagger8216 1/100 it is then!

[@kingsleycy3450]

Just like how La La Land is a masterpiece because it got every filmmaking decision right, Madame Web is a masterpiece because it got every filmmaking decision wrong. Also, big up Adam for being one of the few KZbinrs not treating Madame Web like it's the end of the world

[@celphiro9372]

The only way to get every answer wrong is to know which are right 💯 🔥

[@DerpASherpa117]

It honestly takes talent to make the WRONG decision every single time. Bravo, S.J. Bravo.

[@TheSkulleh]

@@celphiro9372 or just be colossally stupid. Source: my math results throughout my highschool years.

[@aSimpleTailor]

Is La La Land honestly Masterpiece good?

[@HE13272326]

Moonlight was a masterpiece for sure

[@peachyladybird5314]

the writing was so funny 💀 "NO MY SPIDERS!" "Can we- at least- get sandwiches?" "I don't have a neuromuscular disorder!"

[@MM-jc7uv]

Please tell me those lines are said chronologically in one scene

[@Spyrotastic141]

​@@MM-jc7uvSadly, no. But they all made me burst out laughing in the cinema

[@Spyrotastic141]

Me and a couple friends saw this movie on opening night and we've been non-stop quoting it to eachother ever since. It was a beautiful car crash of a movie

[@boybutch]

WHERE IS MY SPIDER!

[@marianokaz1503]

"WHAT the HELL."

[@billygreggory7899]

I love how the main villain didn't have any web powers to swing from building to building. So I just imagine him diving a car waiting on the lights to turn green in full costume

[@redwaytoo]

The promotion for this where Dakota Johnson passively shit-talked the movie was hilarious

[@Jonah-720]

Missed that. I only keep hearing how she doesn’t see any problem with the golden line from the trailer haha

[@SquadPoop]

Like how she's also said in interviews she hasn't watched the finished movie and has no intention to.

[@DerpASherpa117]

I think she wants to strangle her agent after this. She's by no means an A-list actress but she still has talent. For this to be part of her filmography is cringe incarnate.

[@heliopyre]

@@DerpASherpa117 I had heard she fired her agent after this.

[@Eidlones]

​@DerpASherpa117 She's basically confirmed that she thought she was joining the MCU, and fired her agent.

[@rotkev]

I’ve watched a lot of movies too, including The French Connection, a Christopher Nolan movie, and American Psycho 2. With my vast experience, I feel I am the right man (or woman if need be) to direct the Flash Thompson movie.

[@casualkitty1381]

Dakota Johnson has now been in a movie that makes 50 Shades of Grey far less embarrassing.

[@vincenttapia2037]

At least thoe help get her career started. This could honestly kill it.

[@mallios13]

Any actress can build a career out of being in shitty movies. Not every actress can do so with such a high profile. Dakota Johnson: High profile shit.

[@coveruplies]

Yall need to watch susperia Amazing movie with Dakota

[@hanifarroisimukhlis5989]

FU i like 50 shades (was teenager at the time)

[@nerddoctors]

True true haha

[@forrestfire101]

Adum complaining about people’s voices is actually pretty funny 😂

[@GigiBranconi]

Ikr. Like, Adum, my dude, you're funny, but... Pot, meet Kettle

[@2doot]

Of all people, ofc it's Tina Belcher's voice double that has a say in this lmfaooo

[@PraetorianMan]

TBF Adum isn't starring in a multi-tens of millions of dollars budget hollywood production.

[@BlazingOwnager]

My favorite past project from this director was a Game of Thrones spin-off. Because it got considered unwatchable and sealed in a vault.

[@bondfall0072]

you can't drop this knowledge bomb and not elaborate.

[@Alexfilmdude]

Really? Which game of thrones spin-off? I heard about one with Niamoi Watts that I was interested in, but was it a different one?

[@beethewasp1206]

Im going to need a full break down on that asap

[@Longshanks1690]

@@bondfall0072Before HOTD, there was a prequel series planned about the first Long Night called Bloodmoon, and… we basically know nothing about it save a couple of leaked BTS photos and that black people were to be the Children of the Forest before they got cursed to look like how they do in the main series. But whatever else was in it, it was considered so bad even GRRM himself wasn’t allowed to see it.

[@dalek--ck9oy]

Commenting incase op elaborates

[@CringeRat]

At the risk of sounding petty, S.J. Clarkson looks and sounds like Kristen Wiig parodying a film director (in these promos, at least). The SNL Sketch thing was an apt metaphor.

[@soulknight5330]

This is violently accurate

[@JustStop]

I loved the part in Madame Web where Dakota Johnson said 'Oh my god, there's a bang at the door!'

[@Luke-ep7zk]

“Oh my god there’s a bang at the door!”

[@lo.lo_marie]

One of my favorite soundbites😭

[@penguinjay]

Yo, you gave me a FRIGHT MONICA, skee yee

[@kimorayn1733]

It's... Doctor Michael Morbius, at my service?

[@MillywiggZ]

She really do be webbing. The first ‘Strand Type’ actor, she only wants to be in roles with string/rope/spider webs just look at her previous roles: ‘50 Shades of grey’ (rope stuff) ‘Susperia’ (rope costumes) ‘Madam Web’ (web stuff that looks like rope) Can’t wait to see her in the next ‘Death Stranding’ game.

[@StevenSenile]

Even worse about 2:30 is that Madame web is actually an old woman in the comics, that barely has super powers. No one would've known who this is 🤣

[@evanrussell4211]

A version of madame web is an old women, but a lot of time in the comics she's not. Her most popular iteration is definitely the 90s animated spiderman show tho.

[@Moonhermit-]

An old blind woman, literally stuck on a life support throne shaped like a web. Basically the Spider-man version of Professor Xavier, except vastly less powerful and somehow even less mobile. A supporting character that only shows up in some of the comics and adaptations, never had her own story arc, never had her own comics, pretty much just a character to be used as a plot element in much better stories. Kraven the Hunter at least had his own comics. In fact, I was gonna make a joke about this being the same as making a movie about Jimmy Olson, BUT JIMMY OLSON ACTUALLY HAD HIS OWN SUPERMAN SPIN-OFF COMICS!!!

[@StevenSenile]

@@evanrussell4211 interesting interesting. Still very obscure through

[@nagger8216]

Even as someone who's a Spider-Man fan, I've never heard of this character in my entire fucking life before this movie, and if I did I sure as hell don't remember. I mean, you can easily make the case that Morbius and Kraven are D listers, but at least I know who those guy are. I have no clue who Madame Web is.

[@Crabgar]

​@@nagger8216probably misremembering, but she was part of a weird storyline that dealt with spiderman being a special non x man "mutant" and how there is a whole multiverse of these spider mutants and psychic vampires hunting them or something. Idk look it up and also Kraven is not even close to a D list.

[@ColonelCorson]

My favorite part of the movie was when Madame Web said "It's time to surf the web".

[@garysanders7935]

This comment hasn’t been funny in 2 years.

[@yuzmanito]

Not without a word from our sponsor...

[@iamarabicandiloveamericanp7137]

​​@@garysanders7935well judging from the amount of likes people found it funny

[@unquestionableexistance8704]

​@@garysanders7935This complain hasn't been impactful in 2 years

[@Dyrnwynn]

And then she grabbed Marc Webb, director of the Amazing Spider-Man films, and used him as a board to catch some bitchin' waves, bro!

[@pikaus]

Madame Web is Morbius for women

[@glorygloryholeallelujah]

Hmmm. Would that be called *Shebius* or *Morbishe?* I like Shebius, personally.

[@ThisUsernameSystemF-ckingSucks]

​@@glorygloryholeallelujahmorbsheus

[@diromiz]

loved when she said "it's webbin time" and she webbed all over the place

[@0TheJigsawKiller0]

morbius is for women

[@axiss5840]

Girl Morbius

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

A origin story without an origin? Sony, you incompetent bastard.

[@nerddoctors]

They did it to just keep the rights without having to do any work

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

@@nerddoctors Disney is like: is it mean to laugh at this point?

[@MrProg-ey3tl]

There was an origin, remember? He was in the amazon with her mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.

[@janthran]

it had the origin just not the story

[@samantharushing6827]

He tried imitating the vocal fry from the movie but I heard no difference from his normal voice 😭

[@ezgames6925]

Can’t wait for the Morbius, Madame Web, and Kraven the Hunter crossover movie in a couple years from now.

[@lpj2216]

Dont forget venom

[@carter_lovejoy]

The Morbvengers. Coming 2026 (likely never).

[@trevorhock8442]

I’ve always wanted to see the three of them on screen together. Ever since I was little it’s all I’ve wanted

[@dr.2335]

Madame Krabius: There will be a carnijj

[@kimorayn1733]

"I'm Kraven some Morbin Time with you, Madame" - Venom

[@sarahmcfadden8990]

The only reason I knew who Madame Web was is that I'm a 90's kid that watched the animated Spiderman cartoon.

[@kreuz7sieben]

I loved the 90s Spiderman cartoon and I don't know her at all 😂

[@Wingedmagician]

why couldnt we get that madame web

[@Fluffy6555]

I know her from that and the Shattered Dimensions game

[@RenegadeVile]

I watched the hell out of that cartoon, but can't for the life of me remember Madame Webb being in it.

[@Eidlones]

​@RenegadeVile She's nothing like this. Look her up and it'll probly come back to you

[@Armentitron]

There was a line of dialogue that went like "he was crawling on the wall... like some sort of Spider... person". The bad guy also literally sounded like a bad anime dub from the 80s

[@matthewcrome]

That's on the level of Suicide Squad title drop

[@CaptainGinyu]

"was it a movie? debatably sure." comin out the gate swinging

[@thsudy]

My favorite part is when they said “it’s morbin time” and they all pulled out their Pepsi

[@kimorayn1733]

And gave it to the cop.

[@fuqumang]

that bit when the director was talking about what movies she likes it genuinely sounds like after she found out she got the job she was like "oh shit i'm directing a movie, i guess i should watch a few to prepare" like what???

[@eval_is_evil]

She certainly sounds like a 'wamen' 😂 no but seriously I was stunned when I heard that

[@nerddoctors]

It is amazing that some people get hired. Sony really wanted the cheapest people in Hollywood

[@TurbopropPuppy]

sony does not give a single flying fuck

[@liam_pap]

And then saying Don't Look Now is the reason why Dakota Johnson is in a red jacket ????????????????

[@seen921]

True

[@Shades14]

Dear Sony, Give up while you're behind.

[@carter_lovejoy]

Signed, Everyone

[@Dionysian.Cryptid]

On the contrary I want them to keep going. We need more cringe in the world.

[@Dyrnwynn]

Sony should invest more in the animators and other underpaid / overworked people behind the Spider-Verse movies.

[@Sawolf151]

Unless it's animation but still yeah... we're good.

[@sophietwilight5051]

i think they should keep going

[@alexbrave9634]

I love how calm you sound, while other reviewers make it sound like this movie murdered their dog, you accepted the cringe and enjoyed. GOATed review as always!! Can't wait for the longer version.

[@bababababababa6124]

Charlottes Web (2006) > Madame Web (2024)

[@carter_lovejoy]

I remember watching that when I was a kid. It was cute and enjoyable.

[@bleach00101]

Charlotte is actually previous incarnation. Remember ”her journey started long before she was born”

[@carter_lovejoy]

@@bleach00101 was her mother one of the spiders Madame Web’s mom was researching in the Amazon before she died?

[@webbedshadow2601]

I remember watching Charlottes Web when I was little and I thought Charlotte was the name of the pig until I learned she's the spider

[@jaden_bricker]

Google corrected your grammar and called it a translation 💀

[@ModifyBankai]

My favorite part of Madame Web was when Pepsi-Man said "It's Pepsi time" beat the main villain to death with a pepsi sign.

[@kimorayn1733]

And the cop said "That IS, a tasty beverage" Wait, I'm sorry, "That is a tasty BEVERAGE" and sipped all over the place

[@52344]

Pepsi man IS a Sony exclusive. So it is possible we get a Pepsi Man movie or Pepsi Man remake for the ps5

[@norahfarber7001]

someone on Letterboxd said “this makes morbius look like the godfather” and I couldn’t agree more

[@robloggia]

If Morbius is The Godfather, then Madame Web is The Godfather III.

[@mohsenunknown]

In the director's defense in regard to the bad audio, I'm pretty sure she watched the Tenet for it

[@armchairbrain]

Thank you, Madame Adum.

[@trax72]

Madum?

[@HateshWarkio]

Adume Web

[@nagger8216]

That actually has a decent ring to it lol

[@WitchChangkyun]

Adum Web

[@TimmyMcGowan]

A professional big budget movie director bragging that they have watched “so many films all the time” and then just listing some movies she’s seen is so funny dude

[@comixproviderftw_02]

Between Morbius cutting their Spider-Man Easter eggs from the trailer out of the final movie and Madame Web showing the Spider-Women in suits in one scene and at the very end as sequelbait, I guess it’s tradition at this point for Sony to just lie to the audience. Which is appropriate given that they also lied to Dakota Johnson and Sydney Sweeney into being in this movie. Had them thinking they were joining the MCU.

[@DOOMStudios]

Sydney Sweeney doesn’t even realise this isn’t even in the MCU yet She said this yesterday: “That I can’t talk about it. It’s so hard because I talk so much … It was amazing, It was incredible, I’m so excited … I’m just really honoured to be a part of this.”

[@comixproviderftw_02]

@@DOOMStudiosEh, just give her a while. Let her have this. She’s got the “Tyrese thinking Martin Scorsese watched Morbius” moment.

[@overlookers]

Note: they are having Kraven being bitten by a lion in his movie and develop lion-esque superpowers

[@comixproviderftw_02]

@@overlookersAnd mutant Rhino

[@michaelm5542]

​@comixproviderftw_02 please don't remind me of mutant Rhino... I love comics Rhino. They can never get him right.

[@Domus_Maximus]

I had a real moment after the movie ended when I realised "Madame Web" isn't said in the movie ONCE

[@bianca31991]

I can't wait for this movie to come out on bluray. Not so I can watch it, but so I can watch Adum's in depth review.

[@penguinjay]

his video would be triple the run time of the film picking apart this PIECE OF SHIT. I hope he doesn't make the review. This one might be the one that sends him over the edge lol.

[@jmoneygreatestrapper]

Her stealing the most conspicuous vehicles possible with zero repercussions was so good. Like she steals a taxi in the middle of New York City, drops these girls off, drives BACK into the city, drives BACK into the wilderness, crashes that same taxi into a diner, then hides out in a motel with the partially destroyed taxi in plain sight, drives it to the airport, keeps it there while she flies to Peru, then drives the still destroyed taxi BACK into New York before ditching it to steal an ambulance from the paramedics. Incredible stuff.

[@ChocolateChipGamer]

im glad you mentioned the shakey cam at the start, after you showed her previous credits it’s clear it’s from succession, it’s the same camera work as succession

[@luiginastro8831]

In Succession it works and it makes sense, though. In this, well...

[@wickermind6668]

My favorite part of Madame Web was when KZbin kept spamming exclusively Madame Web ads through my adblock thus making me not want to see the film out of spite.

[@monkeybench]

When your solely tv director says "I've seen movies" as an accolade to why they're a movie director...you need a new director. My favourite line in the movie is when they say "you're the madame of this web. You are Madame Web."

[@lamptrent]

the "From the producers who saw Shrek" of a new age

[@bbd121]

My favourite line was when the bad guy said "This is none of your d-mn business." And Dakota immediately replied, "I'm making it ma-dam business." It was amazing. The theater stood up and applauded. Then we all held hands and sang 'God save America'.

[@witchwaist]

we love to see a Madame winning!

[@kimorayn1733]

Dakota PWND-U-Son

[@RuinaLux]

"This movie is pretty high up there for Most Vocal Fry." I found this line hilarious both for the intended reason and because of the irony of it coming from Adum, who also constantly has vocal fry.

[@AdamRhodes536]

1/10 it's closer to a 10 than a 2

[@keithmichael112]

So Spidermaam got her powers from a special spider in the Amazon, then just happens to meet Uncle Ben, basically making sure Peter Parker will get bitten by a completely unrelated radioactive spider? A bit of a coincidence there

[@Jane-oz7pp]

web of fate type stuff

[@harliec2129]

Then designs himself a costume that looks nearly identical to the villains with no apparent influence from anywhere.... (and no, the costume does not look like a spider)

[@nagger8216]

​​​​@@harliec2129Yeah, he just randomly designs a suit that looks identical to the main villain. Also, wouldn't people bring that up? "Hey, you look just like that guy that terrorized the city like 17 years ago. Same powers and everything. " JJ Jameson would absolutely use that as a way to talk shit. "Oh, he might be too young to fit the profile, but all that says is that he's the SON of that MENACE!" or something.

[@Rusty_Spy]

cannon Evan

[@kingsleycy3450]

Pretty sure they didn't reveal the baby to be Peter Parker because they legally can't use him

[@scoutboo]

I appreciate Madame Web taking us back to the golden age of really bad but really fun superhero movies, like Daredevil and Catwoman

[@cjallin1119]

Honestly, with Dakota Johnson openly bashing this movie in interviews, I have to imagine the studio knew this movie was garbage and leaned hard into the "So bad you have to watch it! Go watch it now to laugh at it hahaha morbius lol" angle.

[@gameb9oy]

I’m pretty sure they’ll at best treat it like morbius where the meme is no one actually saw it that wasn’t a reviewer and/or couldn’t figure out how to pirate it

[@Jane-oz7pp]

After wasting the time to pirate and then watch Morbius... I want my money back. It was so bad it was bad, not even so bad it was good. If Sony expects us to trust the next one will be the good kind of bad, they're dreaming.

[@anomalyrrrd]

That's why we should all wait until it comes out on piracy sites (HD, of course) to watch it and make fun of how inevitably terrible it is.

[@luiginastro8831]

And it didn't work. It finished second opening weekend to the Bob Marley docufilm, or whatever that is.

[@lacriaturadekentucky]

Fun Fact about Madame Web: You know how Hideo Kojima (if you somehow don't know, he's the guy who made Metal Gear, and is quite fond of cinema,) gives a tweet-long amount of praise for the films he sees? Well, when he saw this, he said "Just saw Madame Web in cinemas." Nothing more, nothing less. This film was so bad, Kojima had absolutely nothing to say.

[@Accountnamehere1968]

"If there are no good performances to be found in a movie, that's the fault of the director." Thank you so much for that. My father and I have pretty much agreed that performance quality is the one of the easiest signs for good or bad direction for years.

[@robotrix]

See also The Last Airbender.

[@CharliePetricor]

The sad thing is, like you said, the movie has so many *GREAT* actors but the lines and the script are just straight up bad. It’s like a gingerbread house filled with rotten tuna.

[@lioninjawarloc]

a yugioh youtuber costing sony money will always be so funny to me. Thank God for Rata

[@Alice-me2qk]

Who's the Yu-Gi-Oh youtuber?

[@grunkleg.29691]

​@@Alice-me2qk​As I understand, "It's Morbin Time" was originally coined by Rata. The rest is history.

[@evilsheepmaster1744]

​@@Alice-me2qkRata [Rank10Yugioh]

[@nagger8216]

​@@grunkleg.29691Wait, so what happened exactly? Was it that Sony tried using/copyrighting that phrase, but the KZbinr came out and proved he was the one to coin it originally?

[@dima950795]

I guess they mean that popularity of "Morbin time" meme has made Sony rerun the movie in the theaters, costing them more money. I wouldn't say it's an accomplishment of a single person by any means, but it's still a hilarious situation

[@gthek9751]

Oh no, you're criticizing the director, Chris Stuckman gona be angy. Look out, you're gonna get Stuckmanized!

[@aSingularJame]

6:45 - OOH! I think I know why that's a thing. So as you can see from earlier in the video, SJ Clarkson directed at least one episode of Succession. Succession is known for its unusual camera movement, and often has little punch zooms in the middle of shots, similar to an episode of The Office or something. Now, that's fine in Succession, because the show constantly and repeatedly has made it clear that that's the kind of camera movement to expect when you watch, and it plays into the chaotic tone of the show. But the director must not have really gotten the memo that you don't often film narrative stuff like that, and tried to apply it to a scene where there's no precedent for it.

[@KIager]

From Festen to Madame Web. Rest in peace Dogma 95 filmmaking. 1995 - 2024.

[@DaisyAjay]

​@@KIagerThanks for reminding me about Festen, that movie was so freaking good.

[@Pers0n97]

"This is a very good 1/10" - YMS, 2024

[@Longshanks1690]

Coming soon… Spider-Man: There He Is! Starring Erik Estrada.

[@donnydogpiss4533]

Darrre-eEEee-IZZ

[@peposo7]

is he riding a motorcycle?

[@ubermaster1]

Spider-Man: Here He Comes!

[@mixwidman5458]

@@peposo7Ghost Spider

[@Colddirector]

didja see that? the man kicked sand in spidey's face!

[@TheSupermuffin12]

1/10 but closer to a 10 then a 0

[@TheRealCarlBrutananadilewski]

This movie was filmed. The actors acted. The cgi was cgi'ied. The plot was plotted. This is truly a movie.

[@orcwordlaugh1360]

0:54 Most people are just waiting for the torrent? Sure, so I can not watch it harder...

[@grandaltis]

He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died Tell me AI Dungeon wrote a script without telling me AI Dungeon wrote a script edit: 69 likes lets go

[@willeeuhm]

My favorite scene in the movie is when Madame Web is having a vision of her mother’s past, and realizes that her mom was in the Amazon researching spiders before she died because there was a spider there that could cure a disease Madame Web was going to be born with. She sees her mom in the doctor’s office, and the doctor says, “your daughter is going to be born with a neuromuscular disease.” And then Madame Web says OUT LOUD, “but I don’t have a neuromuscular disease 😮.” This movie has never heard of the concept of subtlety and it’s incredible.

[@evaxephonfan9649]

This is truly "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" of Madame Webs.

[@kimorayn1733]

Mabean Web.

[@JayKayEllEmm]

Today is my 19th birthday. I watched this movie with my friends and I LOVED it. It was awful in all the right ways. Genuinely, I don’t know how it got made and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It was just phenomenal. I genuinely gave it a 10/10. I mean, ironically, but also genuinely. I gave a 10/10 to the experience and my association with the film. The film itself is a 0, but I loved it so.

[@eiriksundby]

I dont think anyone wanted to make this movie except avi arad

[@carter_lovejoy]

And Amy Pascal

[@KIager]

Avi probably farted this one out so he could focus all his attention on utterly ruining the Zelda movie.

[@SteeZy644]

@@carter_lovejoypascal left Sony after the leak 10 years ago. Outside of producing SpiderVerse, she has nothing to do with this universe

[@carter_lovejoy]

@@SteeZy644 She produced Venom, Venom: Let There Be Carnage and she’ll be a producer on Venom 3. She basically is the one that spearheaded this Sony Spider-Man universe during her time at Sony.

[@carter_lovejoy]

@@KIager Oh no! He’s producing that?! Fuck… Another beloved IP wasted for film potential. Nintendo should’ve just granted fans’s wishes and have Studio Ghibli do an anime film instead.

[@ron_ald323]

One thing that really annoyed me about this movie is that it takes place in 2003, and Britney Spears’ Toxic was released in *2004.* What the frick Sony

[@kimorayn1733]

She see in Future, DUUH! perfect movie.

[@07m07]

12:04 "A very funny 1/10." That's one of the funniest and most illuminating scores I've seen given in a film review.

[@thecinematicmind]

A Meme Movie. Kraven will be hilarious.

[@carter_lovejoy]

Imagine an actual movie called “The Meme Movie” that is an animated movie that ends up being this generation’s version of The Emoji Movie (meaning that it’ll be utter shit). Could that ever happen?

[@dima950795]

Delete your comment before Sony notices

[@KIager]

@@carter_lovejoy Patrick Stewart is just waiting for the call to play TOP TEXT BOTTOM TEXT.

[@jamesknapp64]

Kraven being worse isnt out of the question

[@CocomelonForMen]

​@@carter_lovejoyIt's been 6 years; this generation's Emoji Movie *is* The Emoji Movie. What we need is a movie to introduce today's kids to 2000's memes. Rage comics, image macros, every creepypasta from Slenderman to those Seeker ones we all definitely remember. This summer, all your base will belong to YOU! jesus cannot weep, for these tragedies are beyond his comprehension.

[@sierrajohnson717]

I loved when Madame Webbed everywhere

[@Spectacular1103]

Kraven will be like: "He was in Africa with my dad when he was researching tigers right before he died."

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

There are no tigers in Africa

[@dandylionwine]

​@@ChangedMyNameFinally69yeah, because the bad guy killed them all when he was with Kraven's dad researching tigers in Africa right before he died 😢

[@cormoranstrike1544]

My favourite press interview for this is when Dakota Johnson said ‘yeah the 3 leads had great chemistry and were friends on set, and I wasn’t in on that’

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

I love how miserable this movie seems to have made her

[@Roseforever84]

After watching Chris Stuckmann’s review, this is a breath of fresh air

[@LyleVSXyle]

Ugh Stuckmann 🙄

[@This-Was-Sparta]

More like Stuck-up-mann, goteem.

[@1997residente]

Its funny how DC movies are bad because they reshoot a lot and they are Frankensteins Marvel movies are bad because they are nothing but Teasers for tv shows and movies But Sony movies feel like pyramid Schemes: YOU LOVED VENOM. NOW WATCH THIS...MAYBE SPIDERMAN WILL BE IN IT !!!! MAYBE MAYBE !!!!!

[@McRonald2010]

I felt bad for Dakota Johnson. Please woman, fire your agent ASAP.

[@alansteel]

Yeah, her agent made her soulless and wooden

[@RyanFloom]

It’s gonna make a Madamillion dollars

[@friendlypup5650]

Madame Webillion

[@blaisetelfer8499]

Does anyone else find Dakota Johnson incredibly dull? I've seen her in a wide variety of genres and she's never been terrible, but she's never made an impression on me at all, yet people hype her up like she's Emma Stone or something.

[@TengenToppaSalyur]

I legit couldn’t stop laughing when they kept zooming in and out at the beginning of the movie.

[@jamespagano4364]

I liked when Madame Web said “It’s webbin’ time,” and webbed all over the place

[@ShadowRubberDuck]

Ah yes, the new movie starring Zooey Deschanel!

[@EverGardens]

Dakota put that line of dialogue so much better than the hack writers of the show. 3:48 "He was in the Amazon researching spiders with my mum before she died"

[@Triplicata]

Madame Web is what would happen if Spider-Man became public domain and talentless hacks made it a horror movie.

[@hughjanos3992]

intellectual property rights and copyright laws are precisely why spider man keeps getting done the dirty by sony

[@KKarimTheDream]

Madame web just came out on Netflix. Can't wait for the full video!

[@_0______00__________0_______0]

Are we sure the director isnt Kristen Wiig doing a character?

[@wezzelinator]

Just assign negative numbers! The value is absolute enjoyment. A bad movie can be as enjoyable as a good movie, but for the wrong reasons. -10 -> SoBadItsAMasterpiece "The Room" Or Neil Movies -9 or -8 -> SoBadItsGreat, Madam Web -7 or -6 -> SoBadItsGood. -5 -> A bad movie but not impossible to enjoy. -4 or -3 -> SoBadItsBad. Trying too hard, Pandering. -2 or -3 -> Horrible Movie but at least it has something: anything. -1 -> Barely watchable. 0 -> the worst a movie can get. Nothing of value. Boring. Forgettable. Not even bad, just a waste of time. 1-10 is as normal.

[@thecollector427]

Can't wait for the next entry in the Movies Of All Time franchise!

[@ty_teynium]

Why isn't there a Spiderwoman or Spider-Gwen origin movie, though? That said, I'm surprised she mentiond the conversation; i had to study that for intro to film class; damn good dialogue! Made me appreciate noire films more.

[@jacksonheiniger80]

Dakota Johnson was right in that ad. I DID love Madame Web, and I WILL be seeing it again

[@rosssimpson4919]

4:00 - 4:07 I’m actually surprised at how many people have been saying that this movie is even worse than Morbius, or spreading memes like Thanos saying “perhaps I treated you too harshly” to Morbius, or even “Madame Web isn’t even funny-bad. Because I recently watched Morbius with a drinking game and friends, and yes the combination of the two made it enjoyable (and that’s the only way you can watch that movie). However during the final showdown, we paused the movie so 2 or 3 of us could go for a piss, and even though there was about 15 minutes of runtime left, we must have delayed it by an hour talking about stuff that was way fun to talk about than drunkenly making fun of an awful and bland superhero movie. Compare that with Madame Web. I was stone-cold sober, only had one friend, and the cinema was surprisingly a little more over half full with about a third of that being old couples who were taking it seriously so I had to hold in my reactions and laughter and other things that would make the experience more fun. Both me and my friend exited the cinema adamant that Madame Web was way “better” than Morbius! Even if you don’t like watching cringe, I fail to see what Morbius does any better than Madame Web, except maybe the villain I guess, because Matt Smith was having fun sometimes.

[@rejector7126]

Madame Web makes Morbius look like a masterpiece

[@thunderpantz]

At least that had Matt Smith having a ball.

[@katie2275]

Morbsterpiece