magic items that completely backfired

[@ZacSpeaksGiant]

Download the game now to fight side by side with DND heroes in Dragonheir! Click the link to download the game: www.inflcr.co/SHJaP

[@adamloga3788]

Those cultists fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never hire Adventurers to do a job discretely," but only slightly less well-known is "Never let a captured Bard speak!"

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

*discreetly, meaning in secret or without disclosing to anyone else. Discretely is closer to exactly, or in a measured manner. But yes, it's a pretty common trope in fantasy that if you capture someone who casts speech-based spells, you never EVER take their gag off lol

[@BrandonSwinney-j2v]

another is "never let the bard talk to the dragon". As soon as I heard it was a bard in the story, my first thought was "he's gonna seduce it, isn't he?"

[@nathanielbass771]

classes you should never let speak: bard, rogue, sorcerer, warlock, wizard(wizards tend to run diplomacy due to high intelligence but not always, so you could pretty much barter your way out of a situation XD). I think there was at least one more but I do not remember.

[@rifflerunderhill7006]

I thought the most famous was "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known was: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!

[@adamloga3788]

@@rifflerunderhill7006 I was giving the Dnd version.

[@ovni2295]

Ring of Miner Invisibility. Everybody thinks it's Minor Invisibility, but it only turns you invisible if you are carrying stones and ore.

[@aralornwolf3140]

_Don't_ give that to Kobolds!

[@dragonprotection]

@@aralornwolf3140 GIMIE IT!

[@cymikgaming1266]

not to be confused with the other ring of minor invisibility, you are only invisiable as long as you are under 18

[@SoCoSelectSoccer]

​@@cymikgaming1266 not to be confused with minor invisibility were you're only invisible to children

[@ked49]

@@SoCoSelectSocceror the one that makes all creatures under the age of 18 invisible to the wearer.

[@trivialsaga4846]

The flail made of aloe will just hurt but you will never die... there are uses for things like that. Like getting people to talk.

[@Unknown.EXE115]

"Where is the secret entrance located?!" "I aint snitchin" *Gets whacked by aloe flail* "Jokes on you, I don't care if I die!" "Oh, you ain't dying. You're just gonna get hurt many, many times."

[@miketyler7179]

There's a rule anyone in a fantasy world should stick by "Never piss of a healer"

[@andrewengnell6004]

Also it would really burn the undead. I mean it deals damage and it deals more damage.

[@Tjalve70]

@@andrewengnell6004 That was probably the intended purpose. A flail of undead-whacking. Double damage to undead.

[@elysianblues]

hurting but never dying is great for the other type of dungeon master

[@diegonhathanielagrielabalc2504]

The bow that shoots when you're blackout drunk is a sacred treasure of the Dwarven people

[@ossus1977]

Not because of the bow, mind you, but the fact it's located near some booze that would actually make a (real - I have to add this in since they're looking over my shoulder) Dwarf wobbly.

[@walkingmarshmallow6895]

Well I would say a Dwelf could use it pretty good huh?

[@silverdandylmao]

It gives major Venti energy and I love that

[@personmcperson4440]

"I don't have a clue how they accomplished it, but the fucking dwarves turn the bow into a life-seeking missile launcher." -prominent knife-eared philosopher.

[@Hello_World_not_taken]

The Bow of Rai Cho!

[@owenmaleski2203]

The one guy in my group I swear is a psychopath. He tried to take apart a mirror that was fixtured into the wall and used it as a trap since anything that touched the mirror got stuck inside and died. And he found a journal that if you ripped out the pages, they would reconstruct themselves making an infinite amount of paper. So he tried to find ways of exploiting this like tearing apart the book to make walls of journals or making someone swallow a page to see if a book would grow inside them. Our DM had him lose the book after he suggested tearing apart the book and letting it float in space to see if it would just keep repairing itself infinitely to the point that the weight fell in on itself to create a singularity.

[@E.b.9970]

I just imagine an archer with the bow that only aims when he's drunk panicking and asking his companions for booze in a frenzy at the start of a fight and them asking why he wants to drink now, not knowing the bow thing 😂

[@molittr]

This guy needs a jug of alchemy.

[@leyrua]

I have literally done a Halloween campaign where you discover your stats as you go. The idea was that the players lost their memories due to some lovecraftian stuff going on. They just woke up around some kind of ritual circle with no idea whether they had caused the problem or were trying to fix it. All they knew was that everything in the manor was trying to kill them and they really needed to find an exit.

[@raisaloyana3694]

I was in an dnd campaign in which a villain died because of a joe mama joke. Basically our whole group was fighting, he's almost dead. Bard was screaming, because she had a curse and was a half goat (dont ask...) and our posh vampire-wizard guy (don't know how to say it in english) killed him by saing: "Your mother enjoys time alone with mature gentleman-goats which seem to have enough gold for everyone." Basically he called the mother of the villain a golddigger and a sugar baby... And the villain died because of it.

[@spicysalad3013]

hemomancer?

[@thekoifishcoyote8762]

Do you think you could describe it? Vampire might be the right word since they're usually fancy in western depictions, but I vaguely remember that word being used more generally for undead in other places so I'm not sure.

[@koda_1]

I gave my players a really funny item called "hors of horning" wich just gives advantage on oportunity atacks, then they got into a fight in a really small hall (about 25 ft wide) and the druid casted enlarge on the barbarian with the horns and the artificer used its magic item that let it cast "gust of wind" wich made all the bandits generate oportunity attacks like, 3 turns in a row. The encounter was suposed to be hard and it ended up lasting less than time it made me make the fucking item.

[@coreylemon]

Although fun, forced movement usually doesnt trigger opportunity attacks. Im not going to poop on your party because the situation sounds hilarious, but yeah, for next time if it seems too OP keep it in mind.

[@koda_1]

@@coreylemon Ur right, I looked it up at the moment but i just thought that it was super funny so I let it slide and told them right after.

[@coreylemon]

@@koda_1 Nobody likes a rules lawyer when it ruins the fun, so I don't blame you for your ruling. Also, gotta give respect for giving an item that gives advantage on opportunity attacks when there are meta builds based nearly entirely around it. The fact that your players haven't tried to exploit it beyond having fun in a wind tunnel tells me that they're good eggs lol

[@koda_1]

Thanks!

[@ShiningDarknes]

4:11 reminds me of the classic: "Surrender!" "You wish to surrender to me? Very well I accept."

[@randomsandwichian]

Twin bagpipe of resonant invisibility! To gain invisibility, both have to be: • played together • played by equally competent musicians • played in a specific harmonious chord Muting debuffs invisibility

[@elysianblues]

or muting it grants everyone in the vicinity invisibility, even the enemies

[@randomsandwichian]

@@elysianblues oh shit

[@Cortanis001]

I did a play on the deck of many things once. It was the deck of many thing. Yes you read that correctly. The deck of many THING. I intended it to be a joke item for camping and making camp fires. Players could draw from the deck as many times as they wanted but it only produced one thing for the draw. You can have it produce whatever you want as the DM but I had it set to produce only fatwood tinder for starting camp fires..... That was a big mistake.... welcome to the arsonists deck of cards. On more than a few occasions they just drew until they had an unholy amount of fatwood to set on fire for unsuspecting victims, homes, ect.

[@highdriver100]

I gave my party a deck of many things with a partially custom set of cards. In the 5 years we played, not a single bad card was drawn by them out of the 21 cards the deck had in total. there were 9 good, 3 neutral, and 9 bad cards and every single time they drew a card, they got a good card, but whenever they managed to get an npc to pull from it, the npc got the bad card, and no, i didn't pick the cards for them, they were physical cards that i just put on the table for them to pick one at random.

[@steelsquire2153]

I remember this dragon born mage I made once yes I know, but work with me on this it’ll make sense. So anyway the dragon born I made specialized in fire, and ice. He had the good aspects of one, and the really messed up aspect, and half decent aspects of the other. Being a dragon born didn’t really help him much in being anything special other than having really strong affinities for fire, and ice. Well anyway one of the weird things that wasn’t my idea the dm being a jerk because I had really high charisma, and because of my spieces made me a great dragon detector because anything with draconic blood would be attracted to me for some odd reason. One of my team mates used me as a deterrent for other stuff because one of the perks is that I had a high body temp making me great for cold weather, but had one place not saying where that earned the named blue balls. And anytime someone would hit on said team mate, or fought an enemy I was forced to cast the spell blue balls leaving enemies retreating with their ice cubes.

[@ladyofthemasque]

The flail made from aloe leaves... I played an alchemist, convincing my GM to let me make clay spheres filled with various potions, which I would sling at my companions to buff them. Yes, you WILL take an automatic 1 damage to HP from the pot hitting you and breaking, but you can get a 1d8+3 Cure Light Wounds effect! And since I was an ally and usually slinging them from behind, I always got to hit them flat-footed!

[@blitsriderfield4099]

I will now perform John Cage's 4'33" on the bagpipes of invisibility

[@phasein5413]

HA!

[@dylanwillmon5672]

Faulty magic item: the lute of silence, enchanted to cause silence when played, cursed to bind to your hands when played

[@patricfriberg2678]

critical failed roll when playing curses you with silence or the binding curse is transferred from hands to lips making you unable to remove it from your mouth

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

I wasn't playing DND this was Star War RP ten years ago. We heisted our part jedi party member, our party's ship out of imperial impound, and I stole a imperial troop transport ship to boot. It was flawless, too flawless. We started paying less attention to the game in front of us and started talking about stealing cars IRL from the car lot down the road. It was getting serious until I completely bombed two consecutive Pilot Ship checks and one Use Computer check and smacked my ship straight into the turret I was blocking shots for the party's ship with the big ass troop carrier I stole. I crashed and died mostly because the party RPed that it looked like I deliberately crashed into the turret and "it was what he (me) wanted" laughter and gameply ensued and IRL crime was avoided. Just saying, maybe those hijinks on the table top are a good thing.

[@chrisschoenthaler5184]

1:06 “Yer a lizard, Harry.” “I’m a what?”

[@Enkidone]

The Book of Shouting: Found on a pedestal in a Warlock's den. Had each player roll for 'reasons'. When a stealth check is rolled for, if the individual die are the same numbers that they rolled after they found the book, it SHOUTS AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE to alert nearby enemies. The Warlock deliberately left it out to be taken because it had been giving him a headache, and the players spent a few weeks trying to return it to him.

[@ProjectIceman]

The bard doing the reverse Uno on the six cultists will live free on my head from now on LOL

[@Abimations7]

We had some kind of leather canteen that could produce any liquid that we wanted. We never used it for any real purpose other than spicing up our breaks by saying that we use it to produce chickfila sauce

[@crazyjack3357]

Bagpipes of invisible I have a strat to good *Bard* (enters enemy keep while playing boss music for the other members of his group) *Enemy guard* Welp look at that time for my break.

[@MC-from-Hell]

Assuming there was some guy who didn't need to breathe (probably not likely, but imagine for a second that it is), then they could play the bagpipes of invisibility and make any enemy think they're going crazy. And you could also probably just give the illusion of a real life soundtrack to your party fighting, if they'd rather do that.

[@endarus6053]

4:55 that dragon is me. Thats something i would do if i was a dragon with a cult. Unfortunately, i dont have a cult, so i cannot do this.

[@twobladedswordsandmauls2120]

That implies that you are a dragon.

[@endarus6053]

@@twobladedswordsandmauls2120 *Was

[@MaxwelloftheClocktower]

knowing my dnd group with heists it's more like "BFG Division" throughout the entire session

[@SeraEMS]

That dnd game would've been dangerous to me as a kid lol. I really wanted to play DND as a kid and my parents had found some online game that was like similar or something in like world building or maybe it was actually DND idr honestly. What I do remember is I was dying constantly because I was like 8 I was no help and my parents I think had told me to stay in one town so I didn't get lost lmao. Cue me logging in all the time when the couldn't play And just walking around. I even had favorite areas that because I wasn't good at remembering routes one of my favorite things was to remember the route to some random spot that I loved.

[@noahrubin5444]

Bartender: Species and age? Kobold: I’m a kobold and i- Bartender: Get out.

[@Toratchi888]

Bagpipes of Invisibility would be TERRIFYING! Imagine you're in a forest or glen, minding your own business, and you suddenly hear wailing music coming from NOWHERE! And as it gets closer, it gets louder, and you STILL CAN'T SEE THE SOURCE! "The pipes have their uses: they rally the men and spook the foe."--Brin Milo, _Gaunt's Ghosts_

[@BlueBerry20071]

I said this in the shorts version, but it bears repeating. "Look, a dragonborn!" dragonborn: "WHERE?!"

[@WolfDarkrose]

a bards ultima move ' NO U " anyone in ear shot dead and just out of reaches ear drums explode.

[@MrNtlman]

I played a Tabaxi monk in a one shot and while exploring a dungeon I accidently set off a boulder trap... I out ran the boulder trap straight across the map into an ambush of goblins or orcs or something (I forget what they were), out ran them and back to the party... it was definitely a Benny Hill moment lol...

[@unionjakass6589]

“Jesus fucking CHRIST” My exact thoughts

[@LilyRoseGames]

Gotta love his "Jeeeesus CHRIST!"

[@creeprvictor]

"We will defeat you evil bard!" "No u" *dies*

[@robertk1701]

Oxventure did a take on the "blank character sheets" thing. DM made the character sheets and put like scratch off stickers or something on them. As they needed to role or use an ability, they would scratch off the respective sticker. Caveat wa instead of spell slots you could use each spell slot or ability twice but once you scratched it you were committed to using it. They did cheese it a little bit by targeting a tree and using several abilities in hopes of finding a healing spell for a severely injured party member.

[@coylettemagleby9772]

I had made a joke about a goblin having a dagger that becomes a sword, not some sort of transformation, just it slides out. Like one of those cheap, plastic lightsabers. The players loved it so much, that they grabbed it. Now the bard has that as his weapon, but he doesn’t have any other weapons.

[@Kojara_SC]

Bards using viscious mockery would really up the ante at rap battles.

[@imperfect_ten]

One of my old DMs gave one of the players a "bucket of infinite shi-." Dealt poison damage and brought the charisma of whoever was holding it down to 1. We ended up using it to not only attack but also make enemies slip and fall.

[@imperfect_ten]

Oh yeah, we ended up essentially isekai-ing our characters to another campaign when the first DM decided he was bored of DM-ing, and the bucket ended up being used to hide a talking, fortune-telling zombie horse head, cursed scrolls, and valuables from guards and townsfolk. No one's going to look through a bucket of shi-. The perfect hiding spot.

[@fiendfi7119]

upon seeing the thumbnail I thought you had to play the bagpipes to use invisibility but the sound echoes around and while everyone's confused about why there's bagpipe noses coming out of nowhere, they can't pinpoint you based on it

[@devonhappe]

I've done the "tell dragons you brought them cultists as a sacrifice" before. The dragon began to make demands of the party. I'm ashamed to admit we went through with quite a few of them.

[@espage2811]

5:22 , I have reached a conclusion The mission impossible theme plays when the party or group is making the sneaky entrance into whatever fort/lair/castle they’re sneaking into The pink panther theme plays when they’ve gotten past all the guards and traps and probably are having some banter (or any conversation) with someone high up who doesn’t know they ARENT supposed to be there, whilst trying to get to the tresure (or an object they need to retrieve) The benny hill theme plays the the party has secured their treasure, but something went wrong and now they are making a run for it while every one of the guards is chasing them down the hall

[@aricovert4923]

Amnesia style is my favorite way to introduce players to new game systems so they don't have to worry about building a character or learning everything before play.

[@pandamaster1138]

The brass knuckles are a closeted masochist dream. The flail is the best torture tool. The frostbite ring protects you from a fire enchanted sword. The scythe is a weapon you "mistakenly" allowed your enemy to steal from you

[@GuhnomeArt]

It just occurred to me how vicious pop singers could be (as bards) to their exes

[@RurikDankil]

A common joke item in campaigns I play in or DM is the Healing Shiv, it deals 1d4 damage, but heals 1D6 so in an emergency it can actually be a lifesaver, and has been once or twice. As well as a life ender, obviously. We actually keep it in because of it's exploit potential. Kind of a "Do you trust the dice that much" situation. One game, the team was running a serious risk of a TPK, and the cleric was out of healing spells. Well one of the players had a backstory with them as a prisoner and used a regular shiv in combat because the DM allowed them a unique weapon proficiency that if they could grapple their target (with disadvantage) they could shiv them up to four times in a turn. Well this guy knew the cleric had the healing shiv and grabbed it from his bag and started stabbing the crap out of the other players. Since he was visibly attacking his own party the enemies left him alone as free help. It was an obvious exploit, and expected to happen eventually. Though he did take out one party member with it.

[@destroyeverything5388]

So, I was in a crypt fighting a skeleton Hydra with another player. Earlier in the crypt we got a reward of a necklace of fireball and a sun blade. I took the necklace and it had 7 beads, i went "Fuck it" and threw the entire thing at the skeleton hydra, doing something like 130 damage, i think more, yet it didn't die.

[@SilverWatercress]

Have a story from my second session ever playing D&D A trap had sprung on one member in the party leaving his shoulder injured. The only issue was that the player IRL misunderstood and thought that the injury was way worse than it was. He was talking about it and the DM just went ”Buddy, you’re fine, You got the wound on your shoulder bandaged and everything” and the player awkwardly laughed and went “Wait i thought my arm fell off”

[@urbypilot2136]

The end result of everything in D&D will always result in the Benny Hill Theme

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

My DM once gave me a Rod Wonder. Dick jokes aside, it turned out super useful, but also super destructive, as it derailed the plot by turning an NPC into a squirrel and nearly killed the party when it fireballed a gelatinous cube. The party members kept having to take it away from me, and the phrase "I use the Rod of Wonder" became a PTSD trigger.

[@Mninja888]

It just shows how innocent i think that i didnt realize what the actual joke was the first 6 times i saw this short.

[@greenhat8978]

I had a friend who would only let us use vicious mockery if we could actually make a pretty good insult.

[@rudelwolf1591]

fun fact, one of my character ideas was a bard who only found out that they were a bard because they accidentally killed someone in a fit of insults. And now they try to understand the rest of all this " bard stuff" like music and arts, but they only really know how to insult someone.

[@michaeldaniels642]

That bow would actually be great for winning drunk bar challenges

[@66Roses]

That is a 100% patented Green Dragon move

[@dustyfilmsgaming1983]

Instead of “fantasy ….” We do “ye old typewriter” or “ye old pen” This was especially prevalent when our DM (who usually did modern-futuristic campaigns) did a medieval and kept accidentally adding in modern things like pens, or plastic, or in one case a knight wearing jeans.

[@sparrowflyaway]

I'm quite proud of my backstory for my Draconic Sorcerer Satyr, her mother is an artificer and was trying to experiment with a Bronze Dragon to harness their lightning powers into useable electricity, but the experiment went wrong and exploded, and my character was in the lab at the time so she got caught up in the blast, infusing some of the dragon's DNA into her and giving her the Draconic Sorcerer powers. She and her mother then spent several years experimenting and testing her new abilities, before sending her off to Adventurer's school at the start of the campaign. Also, the dragon decided that she has his powers so she is now his daughter too(which, good luck telling a dragon "no", so she's spent a fair bit of time with him as well), and since her father is still alive but away a lot due to being in the military, that means she's a very rare type of adventurer who actually has 3 living parents! 😄 She's so much fun to play, I used Lightning Lure to have her Spiderman her way across a river in the first session by grabbing onto a tree. The tree's heavier and more sturdy than she is, so when the Lightning Lure retracted, it pulled her towards the tree 😁 Physics!

[@AkumaOmni581]

Dnd is just full of chaos 😂 I played as an actual player ONCE and got banned from ever being a player again for ressurecting the tarrasque armor the bbeg armor and putting the ressurected tarrasque under my control using wish 😂 rolled a nat 20 for it and the dm at the time had zero f*ckin clue how to dm, so they didn’t even argue with it

[@th3auth0r44]

I have put in one of my campaigns a necklace of table summoning: as an action you can summon a table of any kind in a 9m range from you im waiting to see what my players will do with it.

[@NoName-ti3td]

Not necessarily backfiring but in my upcoming campaign I have a barbarian dwarf who hates gears. I play the "dragon of icespire peak" campaign. One of the magic items is a little pocket watch, which does have quite some gears in there. So whenever my characters would get that thing out, that guy would rage and might well just charge it

[@an_oracle]

I actually did the "species and age" joke for a cabaret bar my characters went to, since it fit the vibe of these guys being very new age. The joke hit most with every loud grunt and gasp i made for the bartender pulling out the book.

[@LittleZbot]

The bard/cultist situation being shared around everywhere despite being stolen straight from a popular Brandon Sanderson novel is proof that even Fantasy enjoyers don't read Fantasy Books.

[@fadeleaf845]

If I play a heist mission it'll be the 1812 Overture that's playing

[@StealthMarmot_]

6 year old: "It's not the Ring of Landing" *Eyes bug out* "Listen here you little shit..."

[@mathuraphael9196]

Actually, the blank character sheet with amnesia plotline sounds fun

[@looneynettey5765]

my dm actually did pull out a book and asked how old we were in order for us to buy drink only one of us was able to get an alcholic one

[@BrentHollett]

Drizzt's panther is "Gwenivere". It's just that Drizzt mumbles constantly.

[@djmooncheeks1515]

You can add in Mr and Mrs Smith and King's Men themes to the heist music. It's still all Benny Hill. Or Three Stooges.

[@gdragonlord749]

Honestly, that would be a green dragon thing to do. The like it when you deceave people.

[@DRAMAnSkribblio]

a boomerang with loyalty

[@aaronbredon2948]

While the Bagpipes of Invisibility isn't useful, the Bagpipes of Silence (nobody except the player can hear the bagpipes) are a boon to everyone.

[@williamaothecoronao9817]

I just walked into this video randomly, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, moltobene

[@goddessdeedeebubblesofimag7789]

Bards are f!cking something else, man.

[@mbm8]

3:42 any weapon (presumably a whip or sword) that you and the dm roll a percentile die and it's your score takeaway the dms score and that's the damage taken however if it is a positive number the sword will keep that damage till your next attack so if you rolled a 51 and the dm rolled a 51 you would absorb 50 damage then deal an extra +1 damage next hit on an enemy with the weapon but let's say you rolled a 0 and the dm rolled a 99 you would take 99 damage so you better hope you're tanky or have a reliable cleric

[@Cyrus_T_Laserpunch]

Blank character sheets sounds like one hell of a time

[@Watchinglisteningandnoting]

Literally saw all of these on Pintrest this morning

[@scoundwave]

Watching these videos finally made me realize how nonsensical and how crazy my dnd campaign is. Our campaign is just a hodgepodge of what ever we think of example: my character is a Blood ronin (a chaotic evil samurai with a blood mage sub class) who has Arséne from persona 5,a Kamen Rider buckle, the spider bracelet from Japanese Spider-Man, our base of operations is metroplex from transformers, and we all know spinjitzu from lego ninjago.and yes we have other players we have a Dire bear but due to some bull crap reason everyone sees him as a politician, we have a slime who is a bard who has done no musical powers and we have been using her as a weapon this intire 2 years, we have a orc rouge who is the loudest when it comes to our lore expositions (yes we have way to much lore) we have a sentient pumpkin where they talk to plants and do nothing, we have a shape shifting axolotl fire wizard (yes she is married to the slime), a monke person who dose nothing but get nat 1s and constantly get knocked out, and the leader of our party a cat boy who has a revolver and can get killed by one shot.

[@panthershadowwalk]

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.... So the game was Call of Cthulhu: modern and I had heavily borrowed from SCP. they were going after the metal boar god. 3/4 of the players were British agents of a paranormal fighting government agency called "the laundry" and their job is to neutralise weird stuff. the 4th character was an American from Delta green, an agency that does the same thing but in USA. They were driving from London to Liverpool and it became apparent that they were being tailed by a red Ford Fiesta. the Brits opened fire with their 9mm pistols while the US agent asks me "Hey man, is it possible to have brought a packed lunch?" as GM I saw no issue with the character having lunch and given the chaos going on it didn't seem too much trouble to just say "yes" so he goes "brilliant, I take my PBJ and throw it onto the windshield of the tailing car" I asked for a throw skill roll and he got... 001 critical success.... This guy managed to take out a car full of cultists... with a GD sandwich! Whenever this player starts asking seemingly mundane questions, whichever one of us is in the GM seat is now very cautious and careful in our replies. I love GMing for this player. they always come up with some fun twists and interesting ways of solving problems.

[@mukynas]

Boots of Springheel Jak > Ring of Jumping

[@Fyreflier]

Our party once got given the Gaunlets of Water Walking three guesses how they worked THAT'S RIGHT! They only work if you walk on your hands! Sucked for the DM that my human monk had expertise in Acrobatics

[@Teledabby]

faultiy magic items: the tingler google: the tingler ring meme :p

[@921tensazangetsu]

No joke that Blank Character sheets one actually sounds amazing. My only question is are the classes random? Like does the DM just give you a list of random spells you know and you have to figure it out from there?

[@nicholaskehler9169]

I am just saying if people boning dragons, demons, elementals, faeries, angels. genies, and random monsters causes Sorcerers; Does that mean Sorcery only exists because of Bards? On a related note have you tried instituting a rule where your players cannot play a sorcerer unless they have previously played a bard?

[@FantasKanal]

4:45 Fro unrelated reason I give you book recommendation: Tress of the Emerald sea, by Brandon Sanderson.

[@justa2919]

0:24 I don't get the "silence is one hell of a spell" part of that one

[@headlessharry40]

Never played dnd before but I am definitely convinced now, what’s a good starter thing? why does my friend keep insisting on seducing a dragon?

[@Irobert1115HD]

dwelfs being ugly... does that mean that they look like elon musk?

[@Mark73]

Hat of infinite chairs

[@Marskid123]

Nice Pathos

[@Riggbytheraccoon]

Since when was fireball not the first move?

[@redstonecasey4713]

The dagger of paranoia: It is a normal +1 dagger, but when picked up, the word "Doom" appears on the blade. The DM is then given free reign to ask periodically if the player is using/carrying the dagger of paranoia, ask if they're sure, and then roll some random dice. If discarded, the dagger returns in a day.

[@heianwood6119]

Y e e s let the mindgames floww

[@victhefoxygamer_6180]

For clarity, the Dagger of Paranoia is actually quite unremarkable in every aspect, other than the fact that it somehow always comes back in a day of being discarded and reads "Doom". It simply gives the holder a constant feeling of unease and that's it.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Cause of death? Dooooom! ....They have stab wounds! *hides dagger behind back* Doooom!

[@LoudAngryJerk]

I LOVE THIS

[@triblast9538]

It’s origin is it’s a common novelty toy for wizards.

[@nickdyer6082]

Oh no, not the faulty magic items, like the shield of fire protection, just a sprinkler with a handle

[@ZacSpeaksGiant]

I mean... I'll take it

[@xcreepercrafterx8016]

How about a rod of fish caching: just a normal fishing rod but the string is invisible

[@dexteritymaster]

@@xcreepercrafterx8016 invisible string by itself is great for traps and stealth stealing. I can't say it's faulty :D

[@thepinapple8829]

@@dexteritymaster Maybe anything hooked on it becomes invisible

[@kingmasterlord]

hey but Shape Water tho

[@Rathmun]

The bagpipes of invisibility have an obvious fix. Just have them stop working when the players cast silence. When they ask why, "You're invisible to anything that can hear the bagpipes."

[@creativeusername5535]

well now you have the bagpipes of the false hydra 😐

[@Rathmun]

@@creativeusername5535 "When you examine the bagpipes more closely, the bag is pale leather that's been dyed in the bright patterns you see, and the pipes are carved from the bones of some great beast."

[@AtrusOranis]

Even better if the pipes are carved like the heads of a hydra!

[@Rathmun]

@@AtrusOranis Ooohhh, I like _that._ Yes, I think we have an excellent item here with these tweaks. *Bagpipes of the False Hydra:* The drone of this set of pipes is carved in the image of a disquietingly smooth-headed hydra, bone-pale skin and obsidian cabochons for eyes certainly make for a distinctive appearance. _A bard who lost their whole party to a False Hydra comissioned these pipes from its remains when it was finally vanquished. If you listen carefully, you can hear the faint echoes of a dirge in the notes, regardless of what melody the current piper might be playing._ *Game Effect:* While playing these pipes, anyone who succeeds at an auditory perception roll to detect you, automatically fails all visual perception rolls to locate you. The False Hydra's ability to make listeners ignore its cries is beyond the powers of this item, so they still know you're present, they simply don't know your exact location.

[@MelusinaRose]

Silence the bagpipes of invisibility, and get a second set of normal bagpipes that you can have one of your other players play while running around the place as a distraction. You said "can hear bagpipes", you never said it had to be the bagpipes of invisibility. Then again, if I was a DM, I'd put an area limit to it - the bagpipes of invisibility ALSO have to be able to hear the other set of bagpipes. The soul residing in it/God who blessed it/sorcerer who enchanted it was a trickster, and so they put in a loophole that was somewhat obvious (to them), only for it to turn into a still very limited loophole - you get rewarded for the trick, but they still trick you.

[@alexisgrunden1556]

*Player:* But I'm wearing a Ring of Jumping! *DM:* It isn't a Ring of _Landing~_ ...Kid ain't wrong...

[@Arkayjiya]

Flashbacks to the scrolls of Icarian Flight.

[@nathanielbass771]

it's true as well. the jumping skill or athletics or whatever it's called only partially reduces fall damage, so if you're up high, you're still taking damage XD

[@Transformers2Fan1]

Order Of The Stick

[@ShiningDarknes]

@@nathanielbass771 Indeed, if you want to jump you had best go with monk or invest in ring of feather falling to go with your ring of jumping, sure that uses two of your slots (gag, I fucking hate how few magic item slots you have in 5e) but you won't take fall damage, that or get access to first level spell slots and make sure you save one for feather fall, at least it isn't concentration. Other options with a more lenient GM is to make some sort of easily carried and deployed glider so when you are up high you just take that out before jumping and as long as there is enough room to glide you are good.

[@nathanielbass771]

@@ShiningDarknes and feather fall is a very specific spell too compared to something like mage armor. It'd probably be easier to go on a quest to buy a level one item, a wand or ANYTHING of featherfall, than it would be to splash a multi-class just for that spell XD not to mention you have to make up various reasons to fit the lore of your character (ex, wizards aren't just born overnight, you'd have to find a spell-book or study for years) and then even if you do splash, you have to meet the class's casting requirements (no negative intelligence wizard orc XD )

[@rmartinson19]

Vicious Mockery is one of my all-time favorite spells, for the sheer meme-ery of it. Bard: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!": Rampaging Orc Warlord: * Fucking Dies *

[@divadfutch3433]

*turns to army* “Now go or I shall taunt you a second time”

[@majortom1155]

My friend play a bard that just wizard with a MLG sunglasses and a big gold chain of SWAG And he literally deleted a evil warlock by saying "You cring bro!"

[@Nike-gs8ig]

My disney princess parody bard told all the demons/devils in the nine hells how adorable/kind they were.

[@Qualman701]

I fart in your general direction!

[@partyponyz1239]

I blow my nose at you, you wipers of other people's bottoms!

[@adamsmith4192]

I was in a dnd game and the normal wizard in our party (we call him normal wizard because he claims to be normal) received a magical contract by a powerful wizard and signing it will grant you power at the cost of his soul. The powerful wizard - "You are destined to sign this contract and become ME!" the normal wizard *rips up the contact* Until the paper reconstructed itself powerful wizard - "YOU ARE DESTINED TO SIGN THIS CONTRACT". normal wizard - "omg! how did it do that?" powerful wizard "because its your destiny". normal wizard then - "Can I do that if I sign?" Powerful wizard - "well...no, its just the contract that does that" Normal wizard - "oh, how did you make it then?" Powerful wizard - "Destiny made it, it was destined that you will sign and the will of the world states you will sign this". Normal wizard - "So if I create a contract myself that someone was destined to sign, it will become indestructible paper?" Powerful wizard - "Er.. wait... no... This isn't supposed to be the area you focus on, its the contract itself!" Normal wizard - "So for some reason I tear it up and sometimes its instant and other times its not, why is that?" Powerful wizard - "In order to correct the mistake that led you astray from signing, no one must see it". Normal wizard - "So what your telling me is it only reconstructs itself if no one sees it?" Powerful wizard - "Correct" Normal wizard - "So its an auto detection device that allows me to know if ANYONE is watching me when it comes to any divination spell or eyesight?" Powerful wizard - "errrr I guess?" Normal wizard - "Neat" *walks away not signing*

[@mobgabriel1767]

Powerfull Wizard:wait a minute How did this happen we are smarter than this The Will of the worlds:apparently not

[@chezwizard]

plot twist - the contract was a cursed item that the power wizard need the other guy to willing keep on him for an extended period of time for it to work

[@Ttkwyt]

I once saw this hilarious video about this stupid item, The DM at the beginning of the game gives the players a magical sword that one shots any enemy, or so they thought. What it actually did is send the enemy to the final dungeon battle.

[@mobgabriel1767]

That IS unironically a Very interesting Idea to put It in the game

[@The_Redstone_Robot]

I think Johny razer had that idea

[@thalaseamyst3934]

Wouldn't it end up having the enemies kill each other?

[@Ttkwyt]

@@thalaseamyst3934 that’s up to the DM really

[@thalaseamyst3934]

@@Ttkwyt true on that but since when do the enemies have a single faction. Not to mention feral creatures. Please do note I didn't play DnD but I had fun listening to stories.

[@codofwar666]

Staff of Minor Wound: a long staff of smooth wood, capped with a knot of gnarled thorns. Exposed skin that comes into contact with the top of the staff takes 1d4 piercing damage. Also known as a pointy stick.

[@lucykitsune4619]

Brick of greater concussion: It's a brick that gives people a concussion if you throw it at their head

[@pablopereyra7126]

@@lucykitsune4619 Hey, guaranteed concussion no matter the strength is pretty good!

[@Puddingskin01]

Druids with Shillelagh be like:

[@ked49]

@@lucykitsune4619featured in the Percy Jackson series, excellent against people who can fly.

[@corvus_da]

​@@ked49 Hairbrush of the Oracle: This unassuming blue hairbrush counts as a thrown weapon (range 20/60) that deals 0 damage. When you score a critical hit against a titan, it is incapacitated for one turn.

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

Backpipes of invisibility sounds like a great item for a war-bard. Someone who needs to play music and keep up morale, but doesn't want to be seen by his enemies. Imagine a scottish ghost, haunting the castle, playing the pipes

[@jackscout14]

Yeah, imagine a rampaging army of invisible fighters, terrifying

[@envymordecai4429]

A Dwelf walks into a tavern and the barkeep just fucking quits on the spot

[@cymikgaming1266]

they would run out of liquor

[@LadyVineXIII]

I think for a flask of infinite liquor.

[@mishagaming1075]

@@cymikgaming1266but wait, if they're a combination of the worst traits of elfs and dwarves (and elves are known for not being that much of a drinking race) they'd pass out after one beer.

[@leo-hao]

@@mishagaming1075 A hard alcoholic who can't stomach any beer 💀

[@wumi2419]

​@@leo-haotoo little alcohol in beer. I wonder what can be done with a character that has a minimum alcohol content on all ingested drinks, othervise they pass out.

[@jamestrudeau6566]

I had a player defeat an army with a bag of infinite marbles. When the evil army started to siege the city, instead of fighting them off the walls, he retreated to the castle keep. On his way he successfully damaged the buildings around him without collapsing them. Upon reaching the keep, he simply waited for the army to approach and launched his infinite marbles at the enemy. Roll for effectiveness. Nat 20 Entire army slips and when the trolls go to grab something as they fall, they grab the unstable buildings, bringing the entire city down on the army.

[@thebrotatochip32]

I had a lot of fun with a bag of 1,000 ball bearings during a campaign once. needless to say I need a bag of infinite marbles

[@patrickhoover8501]

That is absolutely hilarious

[@pablopereyra7126]

"We did it Patrick, we saved the city" *entire city collapsed in the background*

[@patrickhoover8501]

@@pablopereyra7126 nice! Time to get outta here

[@Lilly_King]

It's funny how much a bag of marbles comes up in games like this. I know of an actual play podcast where a bunch of marbles in a bag of holding was used in the final battle at the end of the game.