Do NOT Make This College Essay Mistake

I'll edit your college essay! 📝 nextadmit.com

[@boomjelly.-.]

“Thinking about working hard, makes me hard” A true legend made that quote

[@vinh8022]

💀💀

[@trajictempr8574]

💀💀💀

[@catherineb6889]

💀💀💀💀

[@Someone-ry9di]

💀💀💀💀💀

[@gungungun9yago]

💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@x3rtus746]

YOU are telling ME that "thinking about working hard,makes me hard" DOESNT CAPTURE YOUR ATTENTION

[@TLB-2.0]

😂

[@wildbeast1016]

Ayo 😳🤣

[@nikki1275]

they’d get that acceptance letter real fast

[@StealthBomber422]

Facts 😂😂

[@jaimeivantamayo]

That was the best one right there.

[@shoogvs]

“thinking about working hard, makes me hard” is a pretty engaging hook to me

[@railx2005]

Yeah that hook was solid

[@careca_3201]

yeah that hook hit hard

[@016_]

On god that sticks with me

[@Majestic469]

@@016_ 😳

[@Badass_Skull]

@@railx2005 That wasn't the only solid thing...

[@dracosol4415]

“Thinking about working hard makes me hard” ACCEPTED

[@carbonari0]

Hey the voice who was speaking the essay was Gohar

[@crypticfairy7930]

I think they are brothers

[@shivamvaze8509]

Yes

[@GatikRaj]

@@crypticfairy7930 yeah, he confirmed it in one of his older videos

[@crypticfairy7930]

@@GatikRaj ohh okay I probably haven’t seen that video yet then

[@GatikRaj]

@@crypticfairy7930 it didn’t have that many views, I was kinda surprised that it didn’t

[@j0ndav1s]

Use the most engaging hook of all... "my father made a large donation to this school"

[@yawningcat3129]

💀

[@equinox2655]

Or “I’m black and disabled”

[@_Pesty]

@@equinox2655you’re accepted

[@Some_Stranger1]

I love how they stopped every sound so the “Just thinking about working hard makes me hard” would be so clear

[@TalkandListen902]

Definitely Gohar khan doing the voice over

[@crypticfairy7930]

I’m pretty sure they are brothers, might be wrong but they have the same last name and look somewhat alike.

[@selvamantony5711]

@@crypticfairy7930 yeah I’m pretty sure they are brothers/ cousins

[@collateraldamagegaming6985]

@@crypticfairy7930 they are brothers

[@aegontargaryen1848]

“Thinking about working hard, makes me hard” Is that david goggins?

[@zoff18]

😂😂😂

[@Youneedsomemilk16]

"Stay hard”-David goggins

[@sushmit6415]

whos gonna carry the boats??? that should be his hook

[@boobenshnozle691]

@@Youneedsomemilk16 people with erectile dysfunction: am i a joke to you???

[@Zedblitz6002]

WHOS GONNA CARRY THE BOATS - david goggins

[@Trimarkovich]

“Just thinking about working hard gets me hard” Guess what’s going in my college essay

[@gradypoole5366]

To be honest if you have at least one prestigious you might not get in out it on there.

[@Trimarkovich]

It worked, got into SUNY Binghamton

[@askredditstudios8055]

Romans 10:9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.1

[@ErrorNumber404]

@@Trimarkovichwait you actually put it in? If so that’s wild

[@midnightwitch3847]

@@Trimarkovichno way-

[@mandad8442]

my cousin wrote about why kanye was her favorite rap artist for her harvard essay back in 2016. she was accepted lol

[@mastertrey4683]

W

[@RRJ_the_fake]

Did Harvard revoke the degree or something

[@greekyogurt5014]

Lol

[@VikkieEule]

This reminds me of the dumb greentext that talked about "I throw away half of the resumes I get, I dont want unlucky people."

[@Namster05]

LMAOOOO

[@NyikaWachira]

did he say “just thinking about working hard MAKES ME HARD?” Wtf 😂

[@tayar3797]

Ok they're so obviously brothers, no cap

[@sh1lezh262]

yes they are

[@askredditstudios8055]

Romans 10:9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.1

[@notnat2]

@askredditstudios8055 Umm look I'm Christian too but I feel like that's kinds irrelevant to the video?

[@jaredrains]

I used to do this on essays anyway but High school English class squashed my confidence in it...

[@insta_artists.support]

Don't Give up..

[@absolootdisaster1060]

There's a certain convention I've learned after taking an English class that focused a lot on using creative writing. English classes teach us every possible fundamental tool for using English. Creative writing (which would apply to these admissions letters), by nature, breaks those fundamentals up for the sake of narrative flexibility and immersion. Creative writing is a whole different world compared to what most English classes try to prepare you for. For example, no author has a grammatically "perfect" style. Most people that would stick to "proper" English usage would make boring stories. Don't let the technical stuff bog you down. Just understand the advantages to using it in certain situations.

[@Ttyumbra]

@@absolootdisaster1060 is there some sort of class or video that can show me an example of that?

[@mastertrey4683]

Its high school english. 98% of the time the teachers themselves cant write a decent composition or know what one is. They ask kids to read books, then occasionally assign an essay because they have to, and they are bad cookiecutter essays

[@askredditstudios8055]

Romans 10:9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.1

[@Adam-pv4qn]

Essay: "Prestidigitation, P R E S . . ." Admissions: "BORING!" *throws away* Essay: "Thinking about working hard, gets me hard." Harvard: "Bro, want a scholarship?"

[@therickestroller]

😏

[@016_]

Ong aint nobody wanna read some dumb spelling bee shit

[@Ryuisdragon]

​@@therickestroller 😳

[@hawkeye171]

🥵 ​@@Ryuisdragon

[@nunyabiznez6381]

My admission's essay started out like this: She lay their naked screaming...

[@Mysterious-Night]

Can’t even use the correct “there.” Smh 😞

[@user12name34]

there*

[@ientity8259]

did you get in?

[@ValiantDoesStuff]

@@Mysterious-Night She got you engaged though so...

[@ivy-ql7uz]

What was the essay about

[@EliteGamerRanger]

“Thinking about working hard makes me hard”💀💀💀

[@thespiritqueen983]

“Just thinking about working hard gets me hard” Nah this is staged, no one would flip past that one 💀

[@monietheory2493]

As a Guatemalan just pro tip NEVER start an essay with mission trip to Guatemala

[@barbararecinos7466]

I am from Guate and was going to do that :')

[@stuartsheppard321]

Thinking about working hard gets me hard, I was cracking up

[@andychen7016]

My college essay started with “Humans on this planet are quite interesting.”

[@lifeangular62610]

did u get in

[@ArdyneusTheGod]

@@lifeangular62610 Yes

[@Y_KM]

Goddamn i got you and gohans vids one after another while randomly scrolling

[@therickestroller]

gohar*

[@stanis_gaming]

Picks up last page, it says: ‘Ligma’ And he’s like: ‘What’s ligm…

[@JustBozen]

"Create an engaging hook" they said, "capture their attention" they said, now I'm in federal prison thx man..

[@shmevanriceballz2857]

Honestly those “personal engaging hooks” are boring to me. They are also just cringe. I would never read the last essay tbh

[@allaccessentertainment4755]

Your brother Gohar was definitely the person who dubbed and probably wrote the all of the essays 😊!

[@robloxgameshowsasmr]

“There once was a boy.” Was my personal quote for an essay I wrote. It was weird talking about myself in the third person.

[@akileshyelchuru8382]

The collab we needed

[@daablurg3482]

“Just thinking about working hard gets me hard” ?

[@aestheticcookiecrumbs446]

Not me thinking he was gonna write prestidigitation on the paper 💀

[@GetDuckRolled]

“Just thinking about working hard, gets me hard” This had me laughing so HARD

[@daakshadhaanvi7469]

The collab I didn't know i needed! How did i see this so late????

[@egg8795]

What? Thats how much home works we got in goddamn 2nd year highschool

[@kingkoba5618]

“Just thinking about working hard makes me ha-“ 💀

[@InevitableJake]

If every opening is engaging then none of them are.

[@xiaofanxia78]

My essay : im hungry give me food

[@alexandersperrazza3901]

Dude my college essay was literally about my mission trip to Guatemala

[@theonewiththegoldentouch]

Ok but how can I make my essays better? I need serious help because I am in the process of applying for scholarships but I'm afraid that my essays will just be weak and not good enough to even have a chance at being considered.

[@kraiter8895]

I swear I heard “working hard gets me har-“

[@eugenekey7876]

Yep same

[@henrytienhung9023]

Gohar really going over the voicing

[@treycoble4331]

“i hate the letter-“ immediate throw away

[@vaderiscool7395]

bro literary just said what all my english teachers told me

[@lamar8245]

If this is legitimately how college boards read their papers, I feel every single one of them should be fired and exiled from any college campus.

[@yuvrajsingh099]

They don't have full days to spend and read 1000 each day.

[@resurrectedpa]

Ok. These essays are supposed to distinguish you from a bunch of people by showing your true self. If you're not making full use of that, you're not gonna stand out. It might even hurt your application chances.

[@JustaNilbody]

I put in my grade 3 assessment sheet asking me to draw what I would like to be when I was older on the first page of my essay. I think its part of what got me in to University.

[@slopely]

Yesss being a good narrative writer is an important skill

[@Niky.demina]

Great explanation 🔥

[@Jblast252]

When he got to the last one the writer put the reader in there shoes instead of a reporter style essay where you just list what you did

[@user-sm4sf4ff2i]

Cheer~~~a short piece of writing on a particular subject.😊

[@ryann9026]

if i had to make my admission paper catchy, i bet it would be, “aight bro, ima cut to the chase. read my shit rn boy”

[@RahilAyush-xp6km]

the goal of all life is death sounds like a cool opening

[@iminyourbasement283]

Being too philosophical in your college essay will make you come off as quite obnoxious so try to avoid those topics unless you’re going into philosophy

[@M42-Orion-Nebula]

That's a verifiably terrible opening.

[@helena.555]

I really like his voice. It's so soothing 😌

[@vincenttavani6380]

"Prestidigitation. A cantrip that allows minor magical tricks and effects available to bards, sorcerors, warlocks, and wizards at first level. Prestidigitation."

[@darcash1738]

You cant tell me “just think about working hard, makes me hard” isnt a great opener

[@sirainilawal]

To be honest, I have nothing eventful to write about

[@lil_tourette]

This couldn’t have popped up at a better time.

[@MuhammadSalarAyub]

But the admissions officer also gets your rest of the profile with the essay too right?

[@LezzRL]

yes

[@rhdgt6551]

Its funny im watching this while in university and i didnt have to do any of the shit this guy and others have been telling me i needed to do for the past 3 years. Ofc it isnt harvard or Cambridge but trust me only one semester in and i fully acknowledge that wont matter once you have a couple of years experience under your belt. I learnt one of the most important things to learn other than academics is the art of talking to and charming people. You can get very far with just the way you talk and present yourself.❤ dont stress, live a little.

[@benbugger7792]

Plot twist, he wrote "absolute garbage" on the paper

[@joshuapark7]

You actually don’t have a few seconds to catch their attention. Each essay gets read if you meet the requirements. Multiple people read your essay before it gets a decision.

[@DctorSkillz1]

“I’m a donkey, Shrek.”

[@Penguins459]

I took a class called career research and decision making and the way they did there essay was exactly how it teaches in that class by doing what they called the sandwich method and it works great

[@Laittth]

that guy should be fired

[@vanshika2912]

thank you for this tip :)

[@philliplopez6993]

Honestly up to perception

[@isaactroyer5689]

Tbh that opening was more of a beginning to a book rather than an application

[@makenziereynolds2117]

It's kinda supposed to be that way

[@zack4527]

Damn I wish I won a spelling bee so I could steal that for my essay

[@diegoflores3831]

This is definitely how they check your essay

[@Rattlsnke]

My college advisor told me not to make puns about Hitler’s mustache, when my college I was aiming for asked who we wished we could dine with in history, but honestly I think it is one of several things of what got me into my college. It certainly stood out. Haha. I am definitely an outlandish girl who had great grades. It certainly would not have worked out for me in this day and age though.

[@jamesgraydon556]

I already knew that I needed a good hook. My problem is my complete lack of literary skill in crafting engaging hooks

[@clubsillyness5687]

I don't know dude, that trip to Guatemala kinda got me hooked

[@Dukz125]

Best crossover of the 21st century

[@Twink474]

Bro went to White Castle after this

[@RayUtsav69]

The fact is @Gohar Khan video was right above this video and it was about college essay to lol

[@JasperMay]

This reminds me of that one scene from a Christmas story

[@paramdrall]

What are you doing Step-Gohar khan !?

[@hisenaoki9172]

Kinda sad you have to rely partialy on your ability to write essays to get to college and not just your exam results

[@jasonvoorheesv1nce904]

This is why I'd rather go to a college that requires no essay or not go to college at all, i cannot write essays to save my life

[@cringy7-year-old5]

My essay began “Ants are pretty stupid”

[@kiradripkage]

So good collages are a “who’s got a better personality contest to get accepted”?

[@bransonharned4221]

Nah just thinking of working hard makes me har-

[@HopperYTRealChannel]

So to get into Harvard have knowledge and be able to create high viewed shorts and TikTok’s and have a min of 100k followers

[@FREAKZilla-420]

Me whose in a debate team: 🪦

[@CowBoy_Anthony]

Everyone Gangsta until they realise that the voice was gohar

[@bluejay9638]

Hooks are the most important part of any essay. How kids applying to top schools will forget that I'll never know 💀

[@gavinsgameadventures8784]

You know what’s crazy is if you in an English class and that last one is your first sentence most teachers would instantly take off points

[@divano1014]

Rhis feels like an ad for quiting smoking or smth

[@goldenbutter999catzrkool5]

Im starting with 4 random words like fukin spaghetti hdmi cable bag lettuce or sum

[@byFiscus]

My admission letter was less than 3 complete sentences: I’m [insert name]. I would like to come to this school. I was also auto accepted in Tx cause of my HS ranking and I knew that they couldn’t tell me no

[@Nikblor]

I don’t think they will throw out your essay after them reading a few opening words.

[@Adam-pv4qn]

The "good one" is so bad. Unless I know what prestidigitation is and care about it, and spelling a word is meaningless and cliche at this point. Tbh, I'm actually way more interested in the "the thinking about working hard gets me hard" applicant.

[@iloveurstyle]

giving me PSAT flashbacks bro

[@YoungPhysicistsClub1729]

This video made me have a good belly laugh

[@meghantang672]

Just thinking about working hard-

[@codingvio7383]

How i open mine: "My dad has money, and is willing to donate a building..."

[@thorstmixx]

I knew all those years of D&D would pay off

[@NguyenReactions]

Yoooo it’s a crossover!

[@prwrecords5038]

So you’re saying, make a good narrative and you’re in?

[@pareman456]

This woulda been helpful when I applying for colleges years ago lmao

[@sean7135]

Me: "Starts writing like William Shakespeare"