Making a Dwarf Fortress fit for a (short)King

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If you make something in Dwarf Fortress impressive enough for the king to show up and ask for a bedroom in it then it's probably pretty good. That's what we'll be doing today, making a massive (and valueable) home full of artefacts that's grand enough to attract some royal attention.
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Dwarf fortress is basically the daddy of all colony management games, and whilst at times it can be frustrating and arcane, it's unparralelled in the depths of it's simulation.
Grab Dwarf Fortress on Steam -
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Some people say that using a key word or string of words three times in a video's details is good for SEO, so here's 'Dwarf Fortress'... steam version... one more time just for the robots out there!
00:00 Intro
00:34 'Starter' Base
05:12 Assign a Militia
06:15 Displate
07:20 Muthkat's Mandate
07:50 Strange things
10:35 Guild halls and temples
13:33 From the caverns
16:00 Grand hall time
18:15 Finding Magma
22:20 Cavern Tavern
25:06 Itchy feet
26:46 Royal visit
#dwarffortress

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

Thanks to Displate for Sponsoring this video! Get an even higher March deal using my link displate.com/hazzor or my discount code 'Hazzor' at checkout.

[@SomeoneYouDontKnowOfficial]

Thank you for choosing the best poster to demonstrate Displate (the duck), I might actually buy something from them after the countless sponsor reads I've seen (the one I'd buy being that immaculate duck)

[@1..1..1..1H]

Go for it! too pricy for me@@SomeoneYouDontKnowOfficial

[@nickn.332]

"His head is Dented" Maybe his parents drinking booze out of lead barrels has some conscequence lol

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

naaaaah it's probably something else causing all the birth defects.

[@Dundere_de_Duke]

@@HazzorPlaysGamesProbably those darn phones.

[@Ser_Matticus]

Nah it’s the Minotaur that dents heads, he was coming back to dent more, the child was just the first

[@HighPriestessGabagool609]

@@HazzorPlaysGames the gnomes are striking back at dwarf supremacy by weakening the young

[@1Crowmen]

In one of my fortresses I had a ton of lead, so I also turned the lead into barrels. But rather than let lead poisoning infect my dwarves I exclusively sold lead whiskey to elves.

[@ZeroFormLak]

+100,000 social credit fellow dwarf

[@voin5371]

Deep Rock Galactic Management would like to invest into this business of yours to satisfy their employees from unionising.

[@CouscousEnjoyer]

... I've found him ... The polymath of all Dwarvenkind ...

[@Greatduck777]

Elf hate is the only hate I condone.

[@lechking941]

even though a dwarf is immune to lead posioning... thoes elves shure aint tho.

[@pedrotbird5426]

This is how anyone under 5'8 sees the world... crazy...

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

on the bright side it means they don't have to mine the fortress walls so high

[@undercover9515]

Grrrr…

[@1..1..1..1H]

"I'm average I swear"

[@cta742]

Can confirm

[@collinclohessy5173]

Something something, ROCK AND STONE!

[@michaeltalpas]

The fact your Dwarves keep being attacked by giant birds is so funny.

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

And none of them had eyelids, the monster generator was really on something for this one.

[@duketired]

@@HazzorPlaysGames the dastardly bird farmer who eats eyelids has strucken again

[@TurboSpaceKitten]

Seriously tho, those birds suck. I had a fort where the beggars would *open doors and hatches* and would fly around the fort terrorising everyone. I had a squad on eternal patrol up and down the main stairs to try catch them but they would just zip by and eat another traumatised dwarven child

[@michaeltalpas]

@@TurboSpaceKittenWon't someone think of the children?

[@mirzarazak6170]

Those birds are actually normal size

[@1..1..1..1H]

no "-3 ate without a table" thank god

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

oh it's actually much more granular than simply lacking a table, the negative thoughts just aren't as visible as they are in Rimworld. If you dig into it you'll see that they're often 'embarrased' by having to drink without a cup or other similar things.

[@1..1..1..1H]

I will check it out!@@HazzorPlaysGames

[@lechking941]

@@HazzorPlaysGames thus is why i started making cups early game (also a half decent way to start ya trade empire) once i got better materials or just a LOT of clay i just moved to that and used ash to make pottery

[@Tony-qz5ee]

Compensated by the +10 waterfall right in the middle of the main starcase.

[@Zeus-xy8ft]

children often are unhappy because they haul corpses, you can disable that in the chores tap in the game

[@Gilbert_gang.]

This game always surprises me

[@SirBalageG]

But why would you do that? Let the younglings get a hang of real life, it’s a slope going down, the earlier they realize the better

[@1Phase1]

For anyone like me who had to look around a bit to find this: it's Labor→Standing Orders→Chores, then uncheck "burial" in the list of chores on the right.

[@chemolcalico6792]

@@SirBalageG1 you are a tar pit 2 real life shouldnt have to be a downward slope

[@Mangaka718]

was hoping the closing remark would be "Please, remain indoors. There are garden-variety birds out there, and it's nesting season." :P great video regardless, I'm vicariously proud that the base flourished lol

[@yjlom]

not to spoil the fun, but those giant sparrows mass 200 kg a piece

[@CosmicAggressor]

I had sort of forgotten that dwarf fortress exists again. Good to know that dwarves (aka anyone under 6 feet) live in constant fear of giant birds.

[@Argyle117]

You seen an eagle stretch out its wings in person? Those fuckers are giant, and you don’t fuck with that.

[@Zebo12345678]

Thorgrim Grudgebearer: "SHORT!?"

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

Short.

[@juicy342yt4]

@@HazzorPlaysGames alright you're going in the book now

[@ZeroFormLak]

​@@HazzorPlaysGamesthats goin straight to the BOOK

[@nachos34961]

@@juicy342yt4 Fuck-screw the book! Kill-slay dwarf-things! For The Great Horned Rat!

[@alexkaplan6581]

​@@HazzorPlaysGames"That's it, no alliance!"

[@josephbeckworth7339]

I’ve been watching hazzor since like video 3 and I gotta say. As enjoyable as AA, Sseth and Mandalore. Super happy you’re blowing up your content is great.

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

Much appreciated!

[@jacethejackal2475]

That foodgate named after its creator is quite special, its a 1% chance for a dwarf to name the artifact after themselves and it has to be a fey mood, not any other kind.

[@shadeitplease7383]

I wonder what ancient danger was powerful enough to take the eyelids from all these forgotten beasts lol

[@tortex1]

Something so specific, powerful and fitting for DF? An eldritch horror from the beyond the realms, not even Armok can fully keep it out.

[@PedroMM193]

Taxes. They kept them up and awake, making eyelids shrink throughout the years in endless streams of coffee and cigarettes, their eyes developing a poisonous and infectuous ooze keeping their eyes humid enough, same ooze that sent many dwarves to the hospital beds.

[@blarg2429]

They removed their own eyelids to watch Hazzor's videos better.

[@The_Avarage_Communist]

A little part of me feels good about this channel growing so quickly.

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

What does the big part of you feel?

[@Ischemiaa]

A fondness of ginormous perpetually staring avian compatriots, most likely.

[@CouscousEnjoyer]

​@@HazzorPlaysGamesHey if you see this I just wanted to say, keep commenting on other comments on your videos. Being able to talk to and interact with a creator directly on KZbin is great, especially when their content is as good as yours. Plus, it shows that the content creator is a person just like the rest of us. Keep it up! ❤

[@The_Avarage_Communist]

@@HazzorPlaysGamesbloodlust.

[@cryhavocandletslipthedogso1873]

@@The_Avarage_Communist Should have gone with "anger at eating without a table"

[@Joseeduardogsoares]

13:40 - ah yes, an illustration to rival Kruggsmash's forgotten beasts, hahaha. Awesome video, btw, love your channel

[@pendantblade6361]

The new RimWorld update adding z-axis looks great!

[@-w-.]

Is this misinformation?

[@franciscosariles]

@@-w-. Can’t tell, only at Dabbling Judge of Intent

[@acesharp3210]

@@-w-. he is making fun of the fact that Dwarf Fortress is sort of like Rimworld

[@Xenirath]

@@acesharp3210 it's not "sort of" like RimWorld, RimWorld is directly inspired by DF. The game style is literally the same, only lacking z-axis.

[@MakotoChalfant-xw7eg]

Drg crossed with rimworld

[@shadeitplease7383]

I got sucked in to this game hard after the steam release. Unfortunately I only have a little gaming time these days so by the time I have time to play again I’ve forgot how to play or what I had going on lol in games like this and rimworld. But they are so fun so I just live vicariously through you sir

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

I'm glad I can provide that service

[@Proriya]

I'm in love with the animation.

[@rowanparmelee3618]

Hell yes, more Dwarf Fortress from my favorite monotone Dwarf enjoyer. Cheers Hazzor!

[@hostergaard]

Tips on making a secure fortress: There is only two things that are naturaly immune to destruction by beasties: raised bridges and hatches *from below* (And anything build from artifacts tought you don't have a reliable source of those). I usually make a system of raising bridge - cage trap(s) - weapon trap(s) -door - raising bridge between the fort, the caverns and the outside. First bridge is to stop any big building destroyers that might show up and seal the fortress. Cage trap(s) to catch any interesting creatures for fun, breeding and profit, the weapons to kill anything trap immune and then another bridge if everything else fails and so I can potentially trap anything between them. If I am feeling extra fancy I set up several paths with bridges so I can control which path is taken have them filled with weapons traps or cage traps as needed. If I have managed to catch a web spitter of some kind I can make a side entrance like that filled with cage traps covered with webs that will catch anything, your dwarfs included hence it needs to be a side path that you open to catch trap avoid beasties. Oh, and I like to post some guard animals somewhere in the system to catch any hidden beasties that might wanna sneak in. If you put artifacts on pedestal, have guards or guard animals posted near it. Use hatches to cover water sources connected to the outside or the caverns to prevent destroyers from coming up trough it, they can't destroy it from bellow as long as you lock it up. Better yet is to dig a corridor with a raising bridge system and fortification that leads to a cistern so you can store water and seal up the fortress.

[@user-vh5rh2jd7m]

The dwarves using lead barrels reminds me of the ancient romas, who used lead pipes for their sewage system that supplied the city with water. Despite them knowing it would poison them, it was alot cheaper than the alternative.

[@TheHorreK2]

I cant state enough how much i love this mess of a game! So much fun memories at reanimated Lobster Shells, drunk Cats, Mood-Rages and the strangest of Artifacts.... theres simply not a single game that comes close to it. Rimworld maybe

[@austinclements8010]

8:07 yeah, that guys definitely on a few lists

[@andreasottohansen7338]

God, i really need to get into Dwarf Fortress. If nothing else, so I can go Kobold camp. Love those little scamps.

[@Brand-eo8gv]

Lmao the first parley with goblins in my most recent game, I had the exact same thought "we don't negotiate with terrorists" and proceeded to slaughter them

[@jrizzelli]

19:24 it appears that you got your wish, with the axe lord ending the gobbos rightly with his pommel.

[@merpymerpington9175]

"Alesuppers the Bearded beards" is the most stereotypical name for a group of dwarves I have ever seen and it gives me life.

[@CosmicAggressor]

I hope you do more dwarf fortress in the future.

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

Adventure mode comes out soon, excited to check that out

[@jabz1582]

I'm gonna steal that stockpile next to workshop design. That is very clever.

[@cloveroverdover7318]

I would love a part 2!!! Or another dwarf fortress video! I have never actually seen the game before - I had just heard of it - and now I am excited for the steam spring sale so I can try it out!

[@ovo2332]

"High king, this is not the time for short sightedness" "SHORT?!"

[@madakthetruepaladin]

Have been waiting for another one gameplay from Dwarf Fortress.

[@ManeShaker]

You made me go back to Dwarf Fortress. Thanks :)

[@aethertoast4320]

Birds are always the menace of anything. Those feathery bastards.

[@NeoMatrix77777]

I was just rewatching your older DF videos and out of nowhere you upload another one, hope you do more!

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

I'm in your walls. All of you, I'm the black mold.

[@armakree3370]

He… he did a smooth transition while saying smooth. Pure genius

[@eudescardozo3395]

You forgot to do the end quest the king gives you that lets you become the mountain home instead of just the capital it is very fun

[@anthonyaiello2098]

Always love your Dwarf Fortress videos.

[@filthycasual6118]

I wonder if they patched out the Dwarven Dynamos from oldfort. Those babies were perfect perpetual motion machines.

[@tobiastheblueman]

Dude, From Mars to Sirius is my favorite Gojira album! You got good taste, Hazz

[@ser997]

Short?!? That is going in the book

[@SmonkTheGreat]

This is what me and the boys are doing inside the mountain on our free time

[@HermitRunner]

Why does his fortress look so much better than mine, and I’m on the start of the video

[@jefferyjefejeffy]

I cant believe Hazzor had a Head Brothers sighting Lucky Hazzor for surviving that

[@sicksock435446]

I like to imagine that the flood gate is just a statue of him pissing and when you open it water flies out like a fire hose.

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

This is my head canon now, thanks.

[@aerothallji6514]

The fact that a Raid ad played before the sponsor part had me dreadfully confused until I realized it was an KZbin Ad.

[@jacobislucas]

That was thoroughly entertaining. Hoping for a sequel.

[@MouthfullOfBees]

Imagine having your heart ripped out of your chest for stealing a flute XD

[@johnathonroberts8200]

As an ambassador from the land of the giants, this is hopefully going to be good instruction to how the shortkings work! :D

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

They're a complex hivemind organism who's customs can be confusing to outsiders.

[@jamesleo6604]

Man I'd just like to say that your voice and the way your content flows is such a relaxing experience. Thank you for making such wonderful videos for us to watch!

[@user-zv7sz1kr9k]

I like the new little hat man. Very nice and neat gentle man

[@clint4527]

You can keep your childrens happy by managing their chores. They don't like hauling aunty mangeled corpse to the nearest tomb. It may have some impact on their own moods.

[@rsspinal]

Yes! More dwarf fortress content. Love these videos.

[@flufffluffer3517]

I hope this is the start of a wonderful series, this is really fun

[@xXxpromorte]

"welcome to the future"... man machine the fusion

[@daneanker8865]

The "end him rightly" bit had me cheesin 😂😂🤺🗡️

[@Yimm3]

I just discovered your channel, the flashbang warning at 1:44am genuinely earned my sub doing gods work kekw

[@svenabel2987]

Rock and Stone, Brother

[@Techischannel]

Thank you Muffcat for granting Hazzor that unique offer.

[@Yummierdog117]

very enjoyable to watch after work, hope there more coming

[@Shuro2005]

Man i love dwarf fortress, just joined because of it. Hope there will be more in the future.

[@Kodiac]

I watched this live and also as a video. Amazing work hazzor, top notch content !

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

Glad you could enjoy watching it both ways.

[@zZzZzyxel]

That hematite joke left me literally speechless... Had to spend a minute just sitting there, reflecting, thinking about how there had to be an unbroken chain of offsprings all the way from the primordial soup, industrial revolution, two world wars and all the other frankly ridiculous events that had to happen for me to hear it. Life is truly something else...

[@roguevariable8367]

Let’s go shortie

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

it's someone's birthday, shortie.

[@saksi6249]

So what's next? SmOoTh... I concur. It must all be smooth.

[@decado7]

That was very entertaining, well done :) Those birds - lol

[@the_commander3414]

Love the content Hazzor helps me get through the pain of chem work

[@torrent6181]

Love your narrative style

[@BirchMonkey857]

If you come back to this, I'd be interested in how you handle the byproducts of "confectioneries," shall we say. [Entry of the Gladiators begins emanating from deep below the bones of the earth]

[@CRTeeny]

my guy, i cant be the only one who has mentioned your voice carries the same calming cadence as that Ahoy guy. great time watching your vids, a good relax.

[@Cheesecake337]

a Jerma and a Skallagrim reference? a man of culture

[@cassiosieburger4843]

Wish i could leave 2 likes for that flashbang part! hahahaha

[@holleau5637]

Hazzor looks exactly how I'd expected

[@Bimsham]

man you were able to do more in the first 2mins of the video then I have ever bin able to did in Dwarf Fortress

[@jayocaine2946]

Hazzor has been taken by a fey mood! Hazzor has created his masterpiece "Making a Dwarf Fortress fit for a (short) King" , he offers it to the neckbeards of KZbin

[@twanzai2218]

The floodgate symbolize the dwarves stopping the tide of alcohol by drinking it, in the great hall

[@eddaniels4731]

Good to see another DF video! I love the Steam version but my heart will always be set on the older releases- I suppose im just destined for RSI.

[@HazzorPlaysGames]

To be honest I think you're more likely to get an RSI from the steam edition, full keyboard controls are much more ergonomic assuming your setup is good.

[@trasen5626]

A Skal clip always makes me happy :)

[@InsanityCorner]

More of these, please!

[@Lex4122]

Hazzor and Dwarf Fortress is such a great match!

[@daddystoned2226]

I love you hazzor, you are one of my favorite content creators, I haven't been watching you that long but in the time that I have I have fallen in love with your channel, not only are your videos very high quality, but your voice is just so relaxing, ive never really had a comfort KZbinr but if i were to have one it would be you. Keep up the amazing content and we love to see you putting your heart in to your videos, I hope you have a wonderful career

[@AlbecoSound]

7:55 I love glitched like these, because they are caused by the complexities of DF. Whenever a character is generated, they generate with a random (or semi random) level of skin pigmentation. It’s possible, but rare, for a character to generate with NO skin pigmentation. And for children specifically, the game doesn’t know which skin tone/head to load, so it just…doesn’t

[@BahamutEx]

Funnily enough the moment you were talking about displate I got a displate ad... xD The skallagrim reference was appreciated as well.

[@planescaped]

Ahh, a glass floodgate with round chert cabochons, encrusted with limestone cabochons and quartizte cabochons... As you do...

[@EddieDubs]

Now I want to play Dwarf Fortress again.

[@InsertedCreativity]

"Slayer of many mighty foes... felled by pond... water..."

[@thesacreda9033]

Fun fact!! The romans actually used lead barrels for their alcohol too! They actually knew that it has very bad health effects, but the lead made their alcohol taste sweeter so they did it anyway

[@RuneTheRobot]

Love dwarf fortress, would love to see more

[@GamingCheeto]

More dwarf fortress dubby, thanks father

[@Lilyclu]

A most excellent starter base!

[@Knight_Ferris]

Hell yeah, more dwarf fort!

[@juanortiz69420]

Good to see Dwarf Fortress content

[@32BitJunkie]

Wow I've never seen someone not die immediately and actually play the game. There's a lot of content here

[@user-zs1dj8kc4z]

More dwarf fortress videos! Or, any videos for that matter, you are amazing mate, love your content, keep it up:D

[@EspressoStreams]

I adore your new little avatar dude. I want a plush to add to my desk

[@Tessicaria]

See, among the dwarves, the priesthood must prove themselves to be capable of more than mere words before the chance to be nominated is presented.

[@whistlingwolf5424]

DEAR GOD NOT THE DREADED NUTHATCH

[@samiamrg7]

All those bird forgotten beasts suggests a world where a few legendary dinosaurs survived from a prior age by sheltering deep in the Earth from the cataclysm that claimed their kin.

[@jackmaney4276]

Build (and zone) a Dungeon before creating a Captain of the Guard. That way, he'll usually just imprison dwarves instead of beating the snot out of them.

[@BlahBlah28126]

10.30 Tatlosh Ruthosh is the Dwarf name for Hellraiser's puzzlebox. Perfect toy for angry dwarf children