I Played the Worst Map in Dwarf Fortress History.

[@BlindiRL]

New Video in this format! kzbin.info/www/bejne/h4bTeWWmoNKBrpI

[@theysangha746]

bonk

[@jadelynnmasker]

Hey, Blind, just noticed you were naming the dwarves nicknames that included their first name. If you want to see their first name, you can go to the game tab and go to nicknames, and set them all to "centralize". This will put the nickname between their first and last name.

[@BlindiRL]

Huh.

[@XpVersusVista]

@@BlindiRL this video was [BONK]ing amazing! first video of dwarf fortress i ever watched and i bonked the whole thing.

[@BlindiRL]

Glad you liked it! I'm deep in editing the next video in this style.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

Imagine your parental grandmother heads off on her usual trade route for the season, and never comes back. You hear word that she was last seen leaving for a new fortress, and decide to investigate. Upon arrival you ask around and the locals go: "Oh, you mean The Strangler?"

[@masterzoroark6664]

"She's been strangling the undead weasel over there ever since she turned"

[@mirdordinii5783]

​@masterzoroark6664 "Meemaw was always very stubborn, I suppose."

[@rpgcraftsman520]

i'm suffocating my lungs won't stop laughint call an ambulance

[@UMCorian]

"He strangled a weasel for 9 years" is not a sentence I've ever heard before, nor do I expect to ever hear again.

[@rathing101]

You haven't been choking your weasel for almost a decade?

[@ratwasnotbad4230]

You’ll hear it in my obituary if I don’t manage to last longer

[@natewoods4566]

Sounds like a euphemism tbh

[@BlindiRL]

@@natewoods4566 Many many many jokes have been made.

[@Xezian]

Forter Simpson

[@DrakonPhD]

"I've been wounded. Thats very annoying." Such heart wrenching last words.

[@hazukichanx408]

Indeed so. Most indeededly.

[@sir_fuckwit]

I hope those are my last words.

[@KhorneBrzrkr]

So very stoic. So very dwarven.

[@jffry890]

Cassius Clay after barely surviving an assassination attempt by like 8 dudes: "I felt the utmost indignation."

[@BlindiRL]

I love the writing zach has sprinkled into dwarf fortress. Makes it feel like a loony toons episode at times.

[@XlightninX]

Legends tell of an old man standing vigil at the gates of hell, with a shield in one hand and no blood in his veins.

[@Alex-d3l9b]

And a strangled squirrel in his other

[@Gustoberg]

Sweetfeet's marriage story sounds like a boomer joke "Ya know, I used to get very angry and yell at the woman in charge of the fortress, now I get very angry and yell at my wife!"

[@emmettraymond8058]

Honestly, shutting yourselves into a months long communal detox shower is a very understandable response to being surrounded by oozing zombies and putrifying rain.

[@Stone_SeashoresWall]

"Let's settle in the very, very dangerous place." "Why?" "... Because we can." "Fair enough."

[@agentblue4310]

when dwarf fortress is a sandbox that Blind can easily rig to win with mist generators and minecart shotguns sometimes you need to rig it to kill you instead!

[@arthurbarros5189]

Somehow, the persistency of the migrants makes a little more sense.

[@KaizarNike]

"because losing is fun" "fair enough"

[@gearandalthefirst7027]

"We do this not because it is easy, but because it is [FUN!]"

[@Religion0]

Sounds dwarven.

[@brianjones6282]

The blockade, surrounded by enemies, missing everything but a leg and his shield: YOU'RE UP AGAINST A WALL, AND I AM THE FUCKING WALL!

[@Xsomono]

When you come to it and you cant go do it and you cant knock it down you know that you found THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL. The demons are walled in with him.

[@toddoverholt4556]

*MAKE WAY, FOR THE DOOOZEEERRRRR*

[@Orlkorrectt]

bonk

[@alexhoughton3305]

@@Xsomono *_NO MAN ON EARTH CAN MAKE IT FALL_*

[@ZakalweFeragh]

bonk

[@strikermodel]

The blockade having one leg and still perfectly dodging everything is amazing. He would make an excellent roaming legendary creature of myth.

[@Cyynapse]

i love the thought of a zombified torso being airdropped into hell and managing to bonk satan to death with nothing but a shield

[@Yourbluetoothdeviceispairing]

It's funny to imagine an angelic being of untold power just hiding away until some 4 ft tall cave gremlins drop a fucking rock from the ceiling

[@KaBoom-i2l]

BEHOLD, THE POWER OF AN ANGE-

[@goosmane]

@@KaBoom-i2l bonk

[@mossy3565]

Just the idea of an unwilling Zombie being this fort's hero, thrown out into battle like a Dark Souls boss, gradually losing pieces of himself until he's just a torso and a raised shield is incredibly unique, and honestly really inspiring It took the forces of hell to finally BONK him into his resting place...

[@Just.Kidding]

"...like a Dark Souls -boss- protagonist" Fixed

[@martinkrauser4029]

Dark Souls player characters are technically all zombies

[@travanoid]

Eternal respect to that poor weasel that was strangled for nine years straight. Remember the Blockade. BONK

[@supersaiyangplays7842]

Just picked up the game myself and I gotta say there's a huge learning curve. This video is both entertaining and informative. You're a great storyteller.

[@BlindiRL]

Happy to help! Yeah it can be a lot at first. I've also got a ton of actual tutorials if you need help with minor things. My discord also has a rather active questions room if you need help.

[@ragingfurball5419]

Dang. I just watched an hour and fifteen minutes long story about a game that I know nothing about and will probably never learn how to play. And it was somehow better than any movie I've watched in the past 20 years. Thank you for that grand tale. -Bonk

[@CouscousEnjoyer]

Learning Dwarf Fortress is easier than ever nowadays, I implore you give it a try. We need new blood lol

[@majikthise110]

The legendary zombie makes me think of creating a Dwarf Doomslayer, fully trained with the best possible gear before being zombified and sent to Hell

[@Zorothegallade-rpg]

Tempered by the fires of hell His iron will remained steadfast through the passage That preys upon the weak He set forth without pity And hunted the slaves of doom with barbarous cruelty Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding None could stand before the horde but the Doom Slayer For he alone was the hell walker

[@flotnar2512]

Better yet make him a vampire and control him. Or both?

[@strongerthanever2039]

Doomslayer if he was short.

[@Zorothegallade-rpg]

@@strongerthanever2039 Doomshortking

[@Kemuja]

He was John!

[@calar8]

Im just imagining a one-armed zombie with a shield slowly crawling towards you in a Fromsoft game, one arm massively oversized. He just constantly rolls to avoid your attacks before crushing you under his battered wooden shield. Classic Bonk.

[@trulyinfamous]

Like Knight of Artorias but with a shield.

[@atlanderwrites]

I can already hear the boss music.

[@sorayaprotera]

'spending 9 years wrestling a ferret' feels like something out of mythology. The Strangler might be one of my favorite dwarves now. Loved the video, and I like this new format a lot!

[@nothawkeye5073]

you have no idea how hungry i am for well told dwarf fortress stories, thats peak content for me, a game i'll never play but one i have endless time to hear peoples stories of.

[@mihai3882]

Yeah

[@gamerguy247365]

1:13:13 could you imagine the blockade in his prime with a sword and a shield, bonking his way through hell he was such a legend

[@johncameron1935]

bonk to honor the blockade bonk to honor the noodles bonk to honor the expedition leaders bonk to honor those who dug greedily and deep

[@DavidSchmitt]

Bonk!

[@entity447b]

One more bonk for the fallen ones.

[@operatchick6486]

Bonk

[@wumi2419]

Bonk, for those who persevered

[@Bluecho4]

Bonk

[@Zetro_Hermit]

There's got to be special category of irony for the almighty champion of such an *utterly cursed* place, being a half-amputated zombie with a shield just bonk, bonk, *bonking*, his way through hordes of enemies, only ever finally slain by falling into literal hell. Even then, it was less the demons and more just gravity taking him out. What a Legend.

[@fdkugb]

Truly the Rasputin of Dwarfkind

[@watchbot7517]

Leave it to Blind to settle in one of the hardest maps DF can throw at you and then proceed to bonk the circus

[@Poiman64]

Historian: So you're telling me that your greatest hero and warrior would have ended your entire civilization if he ever was let loose in your society. The Founder: Yes. H: And you named him Bonk, the Blockade. F: Of course, for that is what he did. H: ... Bonk. F: ... Bonk.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

"On the item is an image of a diamond in pyrite." By Armok. What a poetic indictment of promises shattered.

[@whitson6777]

Blind, your commitment to just first-time pronouncing each of these dwarves and subsequent creatures is beyond admirable! An awesome video, thank you!

[@Renfii09]

"ive been wounded, thats very annoying" amazing final words

[@MrAmanox]

It reminds me of an outro cinematic from the first Myth game. "And you know how hard it is to strangle the undead" xD

[@celem1000]

The hard part of dwarf fortress is not having such awesome things unfold in your game, but being able to tease the story from the interface. Nicely done

[@TheRenofox]

Awesome story! I've never thought of using the insanely powerful husks to bonk the demons back to hell before. Fun fact: husks are insanely powerful even now, but in earlier versions just a skinned scalp of a crow could conquer hell by itself.

[@EmmaOzenne]

Q

[@deojnwedofuWE]

Personally I'm still terrified of carp

[@atlanderwrites]

@@deojnwedofuWEthey scare the carp out of me.

[@Catman_CM]

​@@deojnwedofuWE "The carp stands up."

[@ToonedMinecraft]

​@@Catman_CM That is such a powerful line to read.

[@antoniofarminster8024]

The PZ jumpscare noise upon the discovery of the non-zombified reindeer is gold. Love the effort put into this video.

[@atanarix5346]

I would like to imagine The Blockade just does a bonk with his shield and uses the force of the impact to rebound from the demons.

[@zellexy]

i imagine some baki or jojo's type shenanigans, where he bonks by moving the earth in such away his enemies fall into his shield and are eviscerated in a blink of an eye

[@Memelord-md5hs]

Bonk! I always love hearing dwarf fortress stories. when I was little I remember listening to the entirety of Boatmurdered when I was staying at my Tia's house for a weekend. And dwarf fortress will always be one of my beloved games even if I don't really play it anymore. its probably hands down the best story generator of all of them tbh Loved your video and I hope you make more! your a good story teller too

[@AtomicArtumas]

Eh, it's hard to say which is a better story generator - DF or Rimworld. Largely because modded Rimworld can get completely crazy with it's settings due to the default sci-fi pseudo-fantasy setting of the base game, combined with the completely and utterly unhinged community. Like DF will never produce something as chaotic as the time I had a Rimworld colony that was basically single-handedly protected by a drug-addicted half-sheep vampire cyborg necromancer and his immortal dragon pet.

[@oldmankatan7383]

The Bonk that poor zombie took after it couldn't walk was pretty nuts. Long live the legendary zombie!

[@jonathanmaher2718]

All that work shows! Totally worth the equivalent of a streaming rental. Bonk-a-donk. RIP The Blockade

[@chtulufhtagn1344]

Y'know this kind of seems like a dwarven apocalypse prepper shelter. In an inhospitable place, planned to be completely self sufficient, etc.

[@the1stwing]

1:05:31 Local Zombie Dwarf Literally Too Angry to Die

[@Drizztbc]

Here I thought Kruggsmash’s dwarf fortress play through in the tundra where anything that dies becomes zombie, even the hides of beasts couldn’t sit long, was a brutal scenario. I think this one tops it!

[@kylehurlburt6114]

"A decahedral decahedron." I certainly hope so, otherwise we're getting into Lovecraftian impossible geometry.

[@JakeTalksGamesYT]

God yes this is exactly what dwarf fortress needs more of on KZbin. Please do more. The Blockade was an absolute legend. And of course, BONK

[@Areanyusernamesleft]

The fortress was truly an example of how losing can not only be fun, but epic as well! Bonk! Bonk!

[@TheSuitedGiraffe]

Long live the bonk-ade

[@BlindiRL]

Hail the great shield.

[@PlantDaddyGaming]

Man what a fun video, interesting to see all the little pieces of the fort come together. Also loved all the zombies and such. I really thought it was fun how you watched the Bonk tear his way through countless zombies.

[@mitchellmcgoldrick7945]

Bonk! Thank you for the incredible video and amazing channel - I'm so glad I discovered you through this journey, and can't wait to enjoy both your catalogue and whatever you do next!

[@Witchlexis]

An absolutely thrilling tale. It reminds me of one of my own ambitious Forts, which was settled upon an Evil-Aligned Ocean, contaiminated with at least 12 Forgotten Beasts below the depths. I truly believed it to be Ry'leh.

[@fragsnake]

Somehow the zombie dwarf fighting a winged horse demon with his trusty legendary wood shield, gave me vibes as if Captain America from Aliexpress fights The Balrog from the LOTR. Lol.

[@mardigan4922]

“I’ve been wounded. That’s annoying.” Amazing last words from Moldath

[@CrossFortune]

I can only aspire to such levels of resilience.

[@FlashFahrenheit]

I love these sorts of videos. They're by far my favorite type of content when it comes to sandbox story games like Dwarf Fortress. Just a challenge, a story, bonks, and a lot of effort.

[@Mr.Derp8finity]

One of the only videos I felt the need to specifically watch while _NOT_ doing something else. Very awesome; will be subscribing!

[@Mr.Derp8finity]

Scout be like: "BONK!"

[@AdarColussi]

The Blockade deserves a castle named after him! BONK

[@basbarbeque6718]

Blockade being released into a cave system filled with dangerous creatures. "I'm not locked in here with you, YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!"

[@Edramon53]

One of my favourite things I ever made and got working in DF was a 'safe' emergency entrance. (Safe from the viewpoint of the fortress, at least) This was open whenever my main entrance was sealed, basically a room with a meeting place, and a minecart. The minecart had a job to ride it, and it would carry a dwarf into the fortress via an otherwise impassable route, drop the dwarf off inside and return to start. If bad guys got into the minecart room they'd probably kill the migrants but couldn't ride the cart. And I could seal it off and flood with my choice of magma, water or both.

[@Oneskelis]

Love these longer format videos. You're doing a great job man. Going to buy a few mugs. Keep up the amazing work.

[@BlindiRL]

Mugs for the mug god! (Thanks a lot)

[@Dracas42]

Great video, your storytelling is really good! You put emotion into your reading, and you craft narratives from the in-game actions nicely.

[@Connorses]

For those wondering, The Blockade's shield's name seems to translate to SoapConfine Autumn Confederacy.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

I made it to the end, and I’d like to share my bonk story. My “tutorial” fortress happened to be placed on the haunches of the rotten hunter Nek Quuenlord. We threw bodies at the problem and made quick work of her, but that didn’t stop her army from habitually returning. On one such siege, her minions, olive haired scorpions with two antennae called monsters of Nek, set up shop in my deceased baroness’s bedroom, whose only furniture was a legendary bed. The monsters of Nek, while hostile, had dozens of not hundreds of friendly children. I quarantined the entire area, and every so often we have to deal with gangs of scorpions desecrating our tombs. Still, I can’t get mad at the little green guys!

[@Vesol-kl7il]

The Pathfinder - Poor intuition - Good spatial sense "What about over there it's quicker *points at hatch not far from zombies" *sees zombies* "No! Follow me over this way!"

[@redclaw_raptor]

Bonk :3 I love how you translate your videos into storytelling bits. I'm very new to Dwarf Fortress, and when looking up a few adventure mode tutorials, I immediately found your channel... and subscribing to it ♥

[@Forallthegrandparent]

The blockade really did BONK a lot of threats with that crumbling shield

[@bugtank]

This was pretty rad. I liked this format. It's your very specific voice in a much easier way to watch!!

[@urjoyc1]

"Atleast to the puppy's benefit, it wasn't feeling stressed from experiencing trauma, I wish it would, I... do not like this pupper." Had me balling 26:45

[@cwynneth_celtia]

I love that you've added your own arm pointing at things. 😆Bonk!

[@BlindiRL]

😁

[@mirdordinii5783]

But is it ok?

[@ritabennett]

Finally got the spoons to bonk this video, and it was worth every single one. Love this new format - you're a wonderful storyteller!

[@dogmonkey94]

I love the beautiful symmetry of Gatekeeper’s story arc. A gatekeeper on the surface and in the caverns.

[@24JJ]

The video was amazing. I appreciate the massive amount of work you put into making this great tale. This was a great way of distracting me from being sick, so thanks for that ❤. Bonk

[@lainpracticoner]

I really enjoy this longer form content, that tells a story, I've been enjoying your shorts but this really scratches the itch of interesting and thought out stories the game makes. Bonkies

[@ericquiabazza2608]

You know, the idea if good/bad conflict zones sounds cool. Like the place where either by chaos or the forces clashing and keeping each other at bay causes both effects. Maybe call them edge, ridge, or zenit bioms.

[@lunyxappocalypse7071]

Kinda reminds me of Hallow and Corruption from Terraria hardmode.

[@buster234100]

Thanks for posting such a dense and fun DF playthrough. I love DF but it's intimidating to get into so seeing such long content about it is my favorite

[@tsumikiminiwa4603]

I'd like to point out this is the first truly long DF video I've ever been truly engaged in. Hell, this is probably the first DF video I've ever watched, since I don't have the game and never have. Bonk.

[@Zemalf]

Masterfully crafted and narrated video Blind - Thank you for putting in the mountain of effort of not only playing all this, but then compressing it into a compelling video and story for us to enjoy. Absolute BONKers 🍻

[@try2bchilledout417]

Your hours spent editing do not go unnoticed! o7 I love the long-form content, your forts translate rlly well to this “movie” type vid.

[@HannahKocher]

I saw this at work today and REALLY wanted to put it on to listen, but BONK my headphones are falling apart. The storytelling in this was honestly really stinking fun. I hope this ends up being worth the effort because it would be cool to see these occasionally.

[@robindoute7511]

Very interesting bonk gameplay ! Usually, I loose motivation when fortresses are getting too complicated to manage, so I'm glad when I see a playthrough going this far ! Thanks !

[@strategystuff5080]

Nice to see these kinds of videos getting you so much traction, pre steam release, you where the one of the only sources of actual Zack and Tarn updates :D

[@UMCorian]

Very excited about this new format. Looking forward to watching today.

[@kynelius]

Great stuff. I'd love to see more gameplay runs like this. I'm really not into the tutorials, but respect them. I just love a bonking good storytime like this

[@MrNanorex]

I do like this format quite a lot. This is my first time on this channel, but this is a great video to watch/listen while doing chores or something like that. Especially because it is about an hour long. Then you can be productive for about an hour while listening about some great dwarven stories. Awesome. That deserves some bonks on the shield!

[@Meow_Tse-Tung]

Absolutely incredible man. Still don't know what's going on for the most part, but the way your zombie super-soldier bonked everything on the head with his legendary wooden shield was very fun to watch!

[@ThatGuyorSum]

This is honestly the best video on Dwarf Fortress I've watched, possibly ever. I've found it hard to get into the game as I'm not sure what all I can do for long term goals and this video honestly gave me a lot of creative inspiration. Rip Legendary BONK Zombie and the Strangler.

[@englishdragon1015]

Fantastic work - 'The Blockade' will live on in legends to come. Perhaps a figure to be remembered as we remember King Arthur of the misty Albion, time will tell... "In bello eterno pax invenitur - Bonk"

[@VoidGirlfriend]

Wow you got this together quicker than I expected! Super BONK-ed up for more stuff like this.

[@zefcookie4501]

Bonk, really impressed with the scale of this video, editing must of been insane on 50 hours of footage. Awesome work :D

[@Red_Oak.]

This was amazing to watch! Your narrating *bonk* was very cool; I loved the style.

[@Firespark81]

The blockade was a beast. Also bonk made it to the end. Great video.

[@TheMrTDrain]

Great video. I would totally love to watch more dangerous embarks

[@jonathanmaher2718]

Algorithmic reinforcements, all hail the algorithm

[@misterepf]

To the algorithm! And in spite of it,

[@PhillipLangenkamp]

A great point being made! Blind deserves even more!

[@Krushnow]

Great video! The Blockade's skill really reminds me of the diplomatic skill of former U.N. Secretary BON Ki-Moon.

[@thisdude4502]

Goodnight sweet Blockade, this was honestly one of the best long-form videos of dwarf fortress I've seen in a bit. You're among the best, bonk, and I hope to see a lot more from you. Not that it means much from one fan, but there's obviously many more.

[@richardarzdorf91]

Captured the storytelling concept of old DF. We don't play a stupid game, we tell epic stories based on simple framework and fabulously creative personal machinations.

[@ed01987]

Bonk bonk bonk bonk... Well done. This was one that I caught a few things, but good to see the narrative!

[@DrunkVic]

Playing Project Zomboid while having this amazing tale running on the side, only to be scared shitless by your use of the jumpscare-violin. Amazing video, thank you. We celebrate The Blockade!

[@Vlamyncksken]

Wow haha, that's a big coincidence, right? You playing the game the snippet came from? A game where you wouldn't really listen to things on the side? Haha, coincidence!

[@lavenderh4115]

Just got dwarf fortress recently and while looking for beginner guides found this video. Absolutely amazing and hope to experience my own silliness and watch more bonks :)

[@orunir7028]

The blockade was definitely an avatar of Gotrek Gurnisson. Great stuff! Bonk

[@alanalan6559]

Fuck yeah, Blind fort!!! Super excited to be able to watch this since I couldn’t make it to stream.

[@ArramzyChaos]

I'd love to see more like this, challenging playthroughs are already amazing but turning it into a narrative like this really pushes it to the next level. I loved watching The Blockade bonk his way through all sorts of enemies and now I almost wonder if it is possible to engineer the perfect terminator, great gear, legendary skills, all limbs still attached, undead, and release him onto your enemies to wreak havoc, just to see what the absolute most devastating combatant is one could possibly create. I'm not too familiar with the game I've seen quite a few videos on it but never played it myself, but if you can travel with a caged creature unleashing it in a large settlement of goblins or elves would be amazing. This was the first of your videos I've had recommended to me, and after watching it I definitely look forward to more in the future.

[@werderlork9056]

33:04 Into a pile of WHAT NOW!??

[@kaiserigorvonhabsburg1828]

Bait used to be belie- HOLY SHIT IS THAT THE RED MIST???

[@Maric18]

zombie bro bonking enemies with his shield reads like some sort of "i may not be able to control myself around the living, but i will still fight for dwarfdom" kind of dwarf stubbornness

[@heywhoisthisguy]

It's oddly fitting to imagine a gaggle of dwarves getting fed up with walking through some frigin fjord, and deciding to settle down in the most nightmarish, hell adjacent spot on the planet because they're too stubborn to reconsider

[@Alanssil]

Great stuff, the memory of Blockade lives on. Bonk!