Malört Mixology: Ranch Water & Malört! AKA Sewer Water?

[@StAustin101]

Can’t wait to see the Malort Old Fashioned!

[@raultrashlord4404]

the Chicago Ipecac

[@mzmegazone]

The Mold Fashioned

[@brandtsnakenberg7327]

A Malort Bloody Mary or Malort and Tonic

[@kittykatmann]

Looking forward to the Malortini!

[@ignominious8643]

Dirty Malortini, even better

[@DanielVance]

You can always tell who wrote the episode based on who drank more, PV3 or Spittoon.

[@anderw2]

From the title I thought you were mixing ranch dressing, water, and Malort. Can't be any better that this was

[@unholyglee5306]

Same thought I had.

[@justintr4888]

Another idea for Malort cocktails: a series of Long Island Ice Teas, where you substitute one of the liquors at a time with Malort (ie, one glass has a normal Long Island but with Malort instead of vodka, one is normal except with Malort instead of rum...)

[@hammer911tube]

In the end, all of them are substituted with Malort

[@thefuzzman]

Nice to see Prescat make an appearance

[@LOWBORN-the-LOATHSOME]

1:50-2:02 I'll bet this was Prescott's face(s) when he realized Abby was going to take more than 90% of his stuff in the divorce proceedings. But holding on to memories of Abby is like drinking Malort and expecting the other person to die, as the Buddha would say.

[@viyanudawatta5329]

Haha, wow, never thought I'd see a reference in a KZbin comment to the hot coal analogy the Buddha made. Nice

[@unemployedwineguy]

The Buddha in me sees the Buddha in you.

[@davidp2888]

"This is Episode One." Well, how many episodes will you last, PV3?

[@unemployedwineguy]

An excellent question. I'm not sure if you mean 'quit' or 'death' as the end mark though.

[@davidp2888]

@@unemployedwineguy Don't die! We're all counting on you to tell us more about Abby, Chadwick and the rest of the gang.

[@JonReams]

2:01 Prescat just needed a sniff to know when to leave

[@DefconMaster]

Oh man this series is gonna be great. Even Prescat came to catch a glimpse of the action! As one of those freaks of nature who actually kind of likes Malort, this cocktail definitely isn't the way to go and it's not surprising it turned out bad. You gotta play to its strengths- use it where you would bitters and balance it with sweetness and acidity. I'd try mixing it with grapefruit juice, simple syrup, and seltzer and go from there!

[@tzejin]

Grapefruit juice goes really well with it. We found this out at a Malort cocktail making session

[@zenergetic_8299]

The facial expressions as he’s mixing were outstanding.

[@gamejar3349]

I wait for the moment these vids drop

[@Killajk123a]

I’ve been subbed to this guy when he had like 5k subs. Love the vibes of this channel

[@unchainthewolves]

I feel like PV3 is never going to come to Chicago just out of malort-induced spite

[@unemployedwineguy]

I would never hold the sins of the father against the children. Chicago is lovely!

[@truckinconvoy7312]

I feel like paramedics should be on standby for this one.

[@jojo1308716]

By the end of all these episodes, your gonna love malört!

[@papachef5106]

Don’t worry PV3 you’ll blow up any day now! Love you buddy

[@mdelles]

oh, this is going to be my new favorite cocktail series...

[@KellyJohnRose]

I fully support this series.

[@joeldgraff]

I live in Chicago and have never had malort. I can't tell if PV3 make me more scared or intrigued by this mythical spirirt

[@MrMoney331]

It isn't that bad, it is just VERY VERY Bitter. If you drink things like Campari on the regular you are gonna be alright. If you do want to dip your toe, make it ice cold. Stuff it in the freeze for a day. That takes some of the bite off. Cheers

[@unchainthewolves]

Swing by Nisei lounge, you pretty much can’t leave that place without having a shot of malort

[@cameronbatko]

It is bad. Only way to kill the taste is with grapefruit juice

[@kaylafroelich7323]

@@MrMoney331 also, chase with pickle juice

[@MrEpicface97]

It tastes like shit and people just drink it to meme

[@forevethegenius]

I look forward to that final episode where you retire the remaining contents of the bottle down the sink drain.

[@MrMoney331]

Wow that seems like a bad idea and I actually kind of like Malort....Can't wait to see the next one!

[@skylerdickson2939]

this... wow im at a loss. I HOWLed with laughter when you silently held up your cowboy gun in response to the malort 1:59 theres the shot 😂

[@haywoodjablomi7375]

Oh boy. Been waiting for this

[@Chlorate299]

Looking forward to the white Chicagan!

[@bartlettmeeks]

Prescatt merch WHEN?! How about a tribute to the Sazerac? A Sazerlort? A Malarac? I leave it up to you, you beautiful, insane bastard. PS. When you go down in a blaze of Malorty Glory, Who will tend to Prescatt?

[@justintr4888]

Good ol' Prescatt. Sees his father in immense pain: flicks his tail and leaves. My cocktail suggestions: a cosmopolitan, and a Bloody Mary.

[@timer51309]

If you get tired of Malory, you could always switch to your next favorite liquor “EVERCLEAR” !

[@marvinericdelosreyes]

He did drank it from the bottle after all 🤣

[@daviduliana9950]

Great idea for brand expansion. Proud of you PVIII

[@grimcarnage4309]

Thumbs up for Prescat's catmeo.

[@AppalachianPatriot]

This brings back memories of making Hunch Punch as a kid. You never knew what was in the bowl.

[@dannyfrog]

'Dumpster diving in Marfa must be like.' ☠️☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣

[@mafiacat88]

Well that was a fun one. How about a malort jager martini? With malort in place of the vermouth. Sounds like a dream.

[@cameronbatko]

PV3 definitely coming up with the best series of all time. Malort sponsorship in the bag

[@lui5gif]

I wonder how it would fare as an absinthe replacement, given they share the main ingredient iirc. But, of course, I'm looking forward to a good old fashioned Malört & Tonic. Or even just an Old Fashioned

[@JoyMerten]

I'm from Chicago. The answer is no

[@nefariousyawn]

Thank you for your sacrifice.

[@JestaKilla]

Looking forward to the Malort White Russian!

[@KSCuberOfficial]

Malort old fashioned, Malort sour, Long island Malort iced tea lmao

[@raultrashlord4404]

It's so anxiety inducing seeing him clearly NOT want to drink it

[@justintr4888]

It's like watching a hostage video.

[@aymuhspunj]

It's that dark web soup video all over again.

[@axolotlkillingsquad]

i feel like i have to try this now

[@clifbradley]

Better you than me. Malort is what alcohol would taste like if you strained it through a football player's sock after he just played the whole game here in Florida on a 92° day, then took that strained sock mixture, strained it through used kitty litter, added some rotten fruit from the back alley of a fish restaurant, boiled it to kill the bacteria, but not the flavor, then pouring that mixture through a mixture of burnt coffee grounds and cement dust.

[@almightybeerman]

I think reviewing Kaoliang liquor would be a ton of fun

[@ZAshen117]

You could do other mixology with cheap liquors - a kind of "lipstick on a pig" kind of thing. How can we make "x crappy liquor" palatable or accentuate the few good tasting notes it does have?

[@nmarrs8539]

You should try this one cocktail I found on the back of a bottle of Anisette called “pure curiosity” it was like 2oz of anisette and 4oz of pineapple juice.

[@AllieKutrubis27]

Malört and radler with lime is actually really good. But also I like Malört

[@borisvandruff7532]

The Diane Chambers face twitch after that first taste. Woof.

[@lincalmighty]

Could have added a bit of saline, really helps to tamp down the bitter.

[@blahblahblah1234blah]

1:58 You look so much like Jon Hamm when you pointed at the camera after your first sip lol

[@Sainty-0]

Can't wait for episode 100.

[@verdatum]

hahahahahahahahahaha! This is genius! I look forward to more malortails.

[@masonbriar5511]

please review baby canadian or baby duck sparkling, not sure if you're a white or red wine guy but those two are in that order. or whatever budget sparkling you have out Chicago

[@username975312468]

I wouldn't mind seeing a Malort Sazerac, PV3!

[@VincentsVideoVisions]

I just drink Malort straight up with a pickle back after. It cuts 90% of the bitterness

[@exzyle2k]

Malort Mule! There needs to be a Malort Mule. See how the ginger beer plays off the wormwood.

[@KGiustOD]

I can’t wait for the White Russian episode 😈

[@squiremuldoon5462]

I look forward to the Malort Tai .

[@innocentoctave]

Now let's have: Malört and branch water (and NOTHING ELSE, PV3: no masking agents, such as neat bleach). The purity-enhanced combination for the classy connoisseur. Reckoned to improve good bourbon: let us see what it can do for Chicago's finest.

[@aBowlOfOranjes]

looking forward to the long island ice tea

[@hammer911tube]

Malort Long Island Iced Tea: substitute each alcoholic ingredient with Malort.

[@mattp8274]

i’m dropping a comment just to possibly help the algorithm. you deserve it after this one

[@LadyAnuB]

Malört and absinthe! When the green fairy wants to fight his dad!

[@dooty-mcDooty]

Well done Sir!

[@thatoneguy4396]

top ten anime betrayals in that face. godspeed man. lol

[@ringding1000]

PresCat is back Baby!!!!!!!!!!

[@Jade-pq9lk]

you deserve a medal for this. starting the chant PV3 PV3 PV3............ btw what is your costars name?

[@baconcrawfish1836]

Whose house did you borrow for this one ?

[@turkeysnot1]

Next episode is Malort White Russian

[@the_void]

When I first read the title of this video I thought PV3 was drinking Malört with Lester’s Ranch Dressing soda… & on that note, I’m so sorry that this may now be something your or anyone tries to drink.

[@KellyJohnRose]

I look forward to a prairie fire and malort. (Prairie fire is a shot of Tabasco and tequila)

[@Rob_1689]

I want a white Russian with malort

[@jsteiner16]

Best new series on the internet #algorithm

[@aaronwestlund1378]

“What dumpster diving in Marfa tastes like” 🤣💀

[@haphazard1342]

Paging @How To Drink, can you make this cocktail any good? Can you save "Ranch Water" with Malort?

[@threesixtydegreeorbits2047]

Love to see some with egg

[@drewe51]

Your like button is extra festive. I'm not sure how you did that but it's nice.

[@davidlofgren6358]

Malört Sour might be too much to ask, how about a Pina Colört?

[@Swoost]

please make a bloody malort

[@lweston71]

Please make 1 normal and 1 garbage. Please. Love seeing you embrace change. 👍✌️

[@al_4underscores_dente]

recommend you try a negroni (sub Campari for Malort)

[@ninjabreadman8166]

God save King PV3! 😱😱😱

[@PaladinLostHour]

You have experienced pain, but we can go far worse....the Mimalortsa! 3:1 OJ to Malort should be able to provide you the sweet pain you desire. Should you wish to go to the next level, might I suggest the White Malortian....a classic combination of heavy cream, coffee liqueur, and Malort.

[@dofrobaggins1883]

How about a classic, dirty Malort martini 🍸

[@GasparLewis]

Maloni (Easy?): Negroni, sub Campari. Maloni (Hard): Negroni, sub gin.

[@Gifer100]

You should do Manischewitz, it is Passover now :)

[@Savantrovert]

Oh lordy and I thought PVIII was abandoning his roots last episode by reviewing actually good wines. Malort timeline truly is the darkest one of all

[@TheTamally]

By the end of this series malort will grow on you

[@jdwilliams518]

Sounds like it would go well with jagermeister..

[@SigRho1429]

PV3, we all salute you for being the kind of man who will jump on a live grenade to save the rest of us.

[@lordlemmingman]

When I first read the title I thought it said Ranch Soda and Malört, I was positive we were going to see PV3 projectile vomit into the spittoon.

[@atlucas1]

That 2:28 face is meme material for sure. Call that 4chan guy.

[@CommanderScarin]

Whenever I see malört I just think about CowChop, rip

[@zch7491]

Wasting away again in malortaritaville 😭

[@xXZachrawXx]

What's next? Malörtgarita?

[@Darule514]

Is it this series sponsored by Jeppson himself?

[@TheFlacker99]

Malort and cola?

[@SneakyMacSneak]

Malort and Tonic. Malort Cosmo. Malort Sunrise. The Last Malort. Malort Daquiri. Malort Spritz. Malort Negroni. Vieux Malort. Malort Sazarac. Malort Russian. Malort Runner. Malort Sour. Malort Flip. Malort Alexander. SideMalort. I could go on, but that's a lot of pain I've already listed and Karma isn't a nice lady.

[@xredgambit]

I thought you were going to mix malort and ranch soda. OH I shouldn't have put that out there for a horrible cursed cocktail.

[@ajsparx4133]

At exactly 2:00, our hero fully becomes Zach Braff

[@b3dubbs72]

Hope the employment has gotten better “post” pandemic, Prescott

[@kjrose]

That should be their slogan: "it's like a brain eating amoeba... From Chicago"