Man With Cerebral Palsy Recalls First Experience At Gay Bar.

www.ImFromDriftwood.com
Andrew, who has Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair, remembers the excitement of going to a gay bar for the first time and the reality that sets in once he arrives.
(Gay | Cerebral Palsy | Disability | Bars) [TV-PG]
www.imfromdriftwood.com aims to help lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people learn more about their community, straight people learn more about their neighbors and everyone learn more about themselves through the power of storytelling and storysharing.

[@Semerson1021]

The man of your dreams is out there Andrew. He just has to be lucky enough to find you!

[@slayerette86m]

@Zingtron You'll answer to someone in the next life.

[@dawgeral333]

I'm kind of speechless. He's adorable. I wish him the best.

[@hhjames9139]

What a beautiful smile.

[@Andrew_Warden]

I hope this guy becomes an advocate for the disabled in the gay community. We need to see this visibility to keep learning.

[@justine4353]

That's crazy that the bar was not wheelchair accessible! you absolutely have a place in the gay community!

[@kenh9681]

He is gorgeous and that smile is infectious. I would fall for that personality and that smile within 5 minutes.

[@enigmatic9118]

I remember just how uncomfortable I used be with physically handicapped people. What forced me into understanding and knowing how to work with it was when my sister had a sudden onset complete physical dependency. She was away at college, and in the middle of a class she collapsed. For a month nobody told us a thing. We had no clue where she had gone. One day they called my mom to fly in and pick her up. For the past 3 years I have taken care of my sister, and it has given me a chance to become best friends with her, as well as understand how to work with it... I wish this man everything bright and lovely in life. While it may be hard it will be beautiful in the end. All he needs is a man to learn to understand what it means and how to work alongside it

[@antoniokinsey4041]

I’m gay, “fit & strong”. I don’t have gay friends. Last time I went to a gay bar was when I was 22 years old and I had the same impression of those places then as this gentleman did.

[@creativpassion]

Stories like these are why I love KZbin. To connect with people on the basis of a story is powerful and sometimes life altering. I so appreciate you telling this story.

[@mikekimber3695]

Your smile is infectious. I’m listening to you,r hilarious story and grinning like an idiot as I recall my first time at a gay bar.

[@ted1091]

Dear God. I'm here sobbing because of how cruel even our own community can be. And also for taking for granted being able bodied. What a powerful story.

[@davidangus8127]

Aw he seems such a genuine guy - and handsome too! A shame he lives so far away 🤣

[@AngelOrtiz-fm1ln]

Thanks for telling your story :) If I ever see you in a bar, I'd like to dance with you ;) Cheers!

[@FloorEncer]

In Montreal bathhouses, I saw a blind person, one legged person on crutches. I topped an amputee with a leg prosthesis. Now that I think about it there was a guy who had a motorcycle accident. His ankle had lost flexibility. Walked with a limp. The talk and sex was good.

[@TheFreakyOfficial]

Having Cerebral Palsy and being LGBTQ is something interesting!I am married nowadays but back in time, when I was single It was kinda funny when people saw me walking and asked "ARE U OK?" I used to reply like: "I'm kinda thirsty, but I'm gonna get a juice and It'll all be perfect!"I knew what they were talking about. Whatever. Just live your life. When you love yourself your spirit shines!

[@jojofc88]

I think this guy is brilliant!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@Andres-tv9go]

You´re the kind of man I would like to have around at all times. You´re great and have a killer smile!

[@ABC_DEF]

Gay bars are not welcoming places. If you are disabled, or older, or not good looking, no one wants to know you, and they will shun you. You see humanity at its worst in a gay bar. Hopefully this lovely man will meet decent gay men in other contexts.

[@annalubenow1233]

Couldn’t have said it better myself

[@denniskillin9853]

Well done here's hoping we can as gay men learn to find the gems beneath the surface veneer . I believe self acceptance is where gay pride begins.Who we love is our choice and should not be influenced by image

[@donbsea]

Dude, it Feb, 24, 2021 now, (seven (7) years after the posting date of this video), and I just ran into you here on YT. This is a great story! You, in MHO, are a hoot! I love your sense of humor, and your grin/smile while recounting this one evenings adventure. It is freaking priceless! I've got to hit up your channel to see if you've posted more recent updates. I hope so. Thanks! Enjoy yourself.

[@angelojones6493]

My brother has autism and he bugged me to take him to the gay bar . He was over 21 and I told him it would be loud and dark which bothers some people with autism . But he insisted on going so I took him and at first he was fine . But after awhile and him relaxed that's when people started noticing he was different and after that he was ignored .

[@connieabc]

Hi Andrew, it’s Connie. I see you’ve been busy living your life your way. Good for you! I just saw your video and I thought is was good. After all these years the students that I drove are still embedded in my mind. Living with a disability is a struggle for all but you have taken control and gone with your heart’s desires. I think about you often and wish you everything good. Hugs

[@Eltoca21]

Great story and thank you. While I don't doubt or disagree there is an element of truth to what Andrew is saying, I would like to add that not being called back also occurs to most other people and I think in one sense its also just par for the course.

[@danfrost3043]

He's got the best smile.

[@nyc88s]

Isn't he so adorable!

[@83perth]

You seem like such a fun person to chill with

[@tenorchazz4274]

Thank you for sharing this. I realized a few years ago at a cultural diversity and inclusion workshop how invisible and asexual most able-bodied people think those with special needs are. It opened my eyes to something I'd never considered. So I admit I've been guilty of the stereotypical responses in the past. I truly wish to be better but I've not been informed on what a proper response is. We automatically want to move out of the way in an attempt to make passage easier, not due to any ill will. So, what should able-bodied people do in such situations? Open dialogue is a great place to start 🙏🏾

[@markwpatterson]

You have truly & sincerely inspired me & I'm not disabled. Thank you.

[@cretintendencies]

What a great and amusing recollection, Andrew. I remember all those feelings.

[@spectaclereplication]

I love how I can relate to all these stories even though we're all so different. Awesome !

[@ij0511]

So true every single word .I've hard to wesr bilateral leg braces since I was 5. Guys always see the braces before thru see mr

[@wondercub]

You would be a blast to hang out with , this is the coolest story and your joy is infectious

[@tomlavelle2333]

Now that it has been over 6 years since you posted this, how is your life going now in 2021? I hope it is wonderful news you have to share with me.

[@DavidMillsom]

You're really attractive and you have a lovely engaging persona. You'll meet someone, don't worry.

[@lotusbraxton9200]

He's awesome.... his spirit, his courage... just awesome! I work as a bartender and we all get several numbers by the end of a shift(bud light goggles). I've learned that its best not to respond. Trust, it has nothing to do with the person. But at my bar, people with disabilities are VIP.

[@Mr123Gibson]

He has a podcast called Disability after dark

[@garyjsimm]

Wow! This is the best driftwood video I've seen. Touching. Don't know what to say. I loved it. Certainly hope you find or found love

[@benw9949]

Great video and a great guy. I had to chuckle at his excitement about that first visit, expectations, and then yeah, what he said about the realities of it is so true. It's strange that two communities who get misunderstood so much don't always know how to see and accept each other, but it's so true. There are many good people out there who want to be nice and don't have experience with handicapped folks, and there are some who just have never tried to understand and have bad preconceptions. Yet there are gay handicapped people, and we do want love and a partner too.

[@Mark-xh6qc]

Wow! You can sure tell a story.... Thank you for sharing...😁

[@fxbear]

Omg Andrew is adorable. I would have dated him in a heartbeat. His personality is infectious. Being awfully cute is a bonus. Now I’m an old fart and struggling to find my place as well.

[@ij0511]

I think many disabled gay men have had similar experiences I have always worn bilateral kafo's They seem to be such an obstacle Great to hear you speaking Much to be admired xx

[@merizmawiz6233]

Omg I love this dude!

[@marquamfurniture]

/Andrew has a winning personality and attitude. Smart and nice looking

[@SpuktasticAudio]

Deserved a much longer interview.

[@billhawes2600]

Million dollar smile!

[@raulramirez2681]

Andrew, enjoyed your story very much. Very honest, sincere and somewhat sad. I love to be a friend. You are so transparent and quite unique. Good luck..............

[@kd1s]

Well Andrew - I remember my first job in I.T. One of the members of my team was handicapped like you and required usage of wheelchair. Me being a strapping young guy meant we had to practice getting Brett out of the office if power failed and lift failed to work. I got him up a set of stairs in that chair. Also found out he was a gear head like me. And now in my dotage I have trouble waling due to a janked spine. But it doesn't stop me.

[@samjones-gm9nu]

I totally would have called you back.

[@Bananadiva1]

He's a really handsome guy and he's really fun. I'd have asked him out in 5 seconds flat. That smile could melt the hardest heart ... well at least it should do.

[@tobelarson4821]

Thank you Andrew for sharing your experiences. It's been very interesting listening to your experiences and learning from you. I like your podcasts also. Hugs and tugs!

[@alfredbonnabel7022]

I am impressed by his courage. The Gay community can be very condescending to just the 'average' Joe walking into a bar. Keep the faith, love will find you.

[@Raphaelus13]

Oh those anxious and perspective-setting first moments. Giving the moment so much importance and symbolism I think was detrimental for his enjoyment. But I see why it happened; people (specially teens) who grow being looked at as different crave that sense of belonging/identity, which he attributed to his future "being a gay" side.

[@ralcst-1977]

Most gay men can not see "beyond the chair" so-to-speak.... But this applies also to other aspects of many other gay men.... think about it!!

[@noeyalap7710]

Im loving you. You're an awesome guy.

[@charleskesner1302]

Thanks for sharing, good story.

[@victorarroyo8478]

What a beautiful smile , gorgeous man ❤️

[@superoldblue]

Andrew thank you from the bottom of my heart! I get you and this I understand yes it hard being gay and having something worng in which you have no control over,but I as well wont to be loved as our brothers and sister in our world need to understand.

[@oak_meadow9533]

we make our own walls, i did it for years... I can see you are more than special, don't wall yourself off, love happens like local rain showers, totally unpredictable. the more you hang out at the bars the less your differences show. You are so fine a man, don't ever let anything bother you -- live life like a waterfall----- it works I promise, Billy Jon

[@pedromacedo7554]

So sweet! Wouldnt mind to meet you, at all

[@wallybeep]

Beautiful. Wish I had more, but beautiful.

[@JL-re1rx]

Thanks for sharing! Much love and like most people, you will want hang out with authentic friends, not fake ones. Hang in there and keep on keeping on! You are a great inspiration! Thanks again for sharing!

[@gavinmccune93]

You're sooo brave!

[@beratberat1917]

Such a strong story ❤️

[@SensualSolutionsVancouver]

Love you Andrew!

[@keithyoung4383]

Beautiful personally

[@PoetGorman]

I once dated a guy in a chair. He told me he was "functional" in all the right places. but he did have some internal issues that required him to wear an external catheter. He was embarrassed about that, but I liked him and I was just intrigued. When I saw it, I thought it was not that different from a condom, except he was taking it off instead of putting it on. To his horror, as he got if off, I got splashed. Generously. He must have said he was sorry ten times in a pained voice. He said later that he expected me to just walk out. Instead, I smiled at him and said, "Well I wasn't going to talk about my kinks this early in the relationship., but. . ." We laughed and carried on. You will find someone, Andrew. Maybe not as inappropriate as me, but you will.

[@darnellhenderson2170]

Powerful story

[@melvinnixon2378]

NEVER WORRY AGAIN ABOUT ADJUSTMENTS IN A WHEELCHAIR IN ORDER TO CO-EXIST AND/OR MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. I TRULY HOPE YOU HAD A SPLENDID TIME OUT SOCIALIZING WITH OTHERS. YOU'RE REALLY CUTE. YOU HAVE THAT ATTRIBUTE FOR CERTAIN....YOU'RE REALLY HANDSOME. NEVER EVER WORRY ABOUT YOUR HANDICAP. THERE IS 'IS ALWAYS' SOMEONE FOR YOU AND OTHERS. I THINK YOU'RE A LITTLE DOLL MYSELF.

[@gavinmccune93]

I might be able to sleep with them..or ALL of them ! 😂😂😂

[@rubenbustillos2454]

I completely understand what he is saying. Being a minority within the minority group sucks

[@DanGelston]

I have cp as well, and gay. However I hold myself back from meeting people for the very reason of societal stigma. Perhaps a "start" would be to have like-minded disabled persons meet in bars and invite able-bodied persons to join.

[@vudukid_run2018]

amazing personality.... I wish I were more like you

[@nelsonmunoz1759]

Hello. Thank you for sharing this really interesting video. You can tell that you are a very handsome and sensitive man. I wish you a life full of love and joy. Greetings from Barcelona, Spain.

[@3momokey]

I also have cp and try to act like nothing is "wrong", I don't know what to do

[@benw9949]

Try not to let yourself worry about how people perceive you. Sure, try to be your best, but sometimes, it's gonna show and so you have to let it be, just let it happen and don't let it bother you. And oh, yeah, do I know that's easy to say and hard to do. (I'm legally blind. Sometimes I can mask it, but sometimes not, especially lately.) Just be you and "let it all hang out." Man, I wish I could follow my own advice, you know? Haha.

[@itz_kale7791]

Just be yourself. You can do it !

[@cuteguy9358]

He seems like such a nice guy. 👍🙂

[@steves4639]

as his story progressed, I was getting more and more nervous as to how it was going to turn out. it could have been worse, I guess, but still I'm sure it was all very disappointing for him. Partly the chair, but partly also just being super young and not knowing how to interact with people. I was the same...reading things into situations that weren't really there. This beautiful man speaks so profoundly and eloquently about his experience...I hope he has many friends now. yes, the gay community can be dismissive of those who don't look like the ideal...I don't necessarily blame them as we as gay people are so dismissed by our families and society and denied opportunity, that the only way, for some, esp when I came out in the early 80's, to feel good is to look good and associate with those who also look good. all oppressed groups tend to be focused on appearance...its only the straight white guys who get a pass cause they already own everything.

[@BlondieSL]

I wonder which bar that was. I'd sure love to see him do an update for now, to see if things changed. It's been my experience that people with disabilities, in bars, are treated equally. Perhaps the bar he went to as his first bar, wasn't the "right" bar to go to. And my heart sunk when he said that this one and first time in a bar, "defined" how his life would be. I wish I knew him, because I would have said to NOT ALLOW 1 NIGHT to define who you are or how YOUR life will be. Whether in a chair or not, things may not always go the way we want when in bars or other events. Not matter the venue, there are nice people AND there are asz-sholes! Don't let some jerks define anything!

[@anneliseingram4276]

I'm disabled woman I'm pansexual I have found a huge discrimination in the LGBTQ community now that I use a electrical wheelchair there is no one who looks like me on TVs anywhere no KZbin posts it's very isolating I know how he felt there next to no access for disabled people in gay clubs where I'm from which is a capital of my country it's very sad.

[@HorizontalFilmes]

Uau! I'm speechless!

[@monica8833]

Great heart I can tell

[@ZoidutStudioz]

i love all these stories. hey, i have that bracelet! :D love/peace

[@alexking8610]

Wow I really take my hat off to this guy hope he is doing well , also he is very very cute

[@earth2indy]

you're awesome.

[@AugustusOakstar]

I admire your hutzpah, every man should try to have your bravery. Men at the bars can be very clickish, just keep chipping away, you will eventually break thru. God bless and keep you happy. Find a man thru one of the match services and be honest. Keep smiling my friend....

[@tomwilliams6768]

+Oak_meadow chutzpah is that even right the spelling

[@tomwilliams6768]

+Tom Williams I believe guys on both sides form cliques unfortunately that means people get excluded its bad enough we face discrimination in corporate americs or worse they try to put people in the same catergory of those that some say belong in a sheltered work shop I said bull shit on that I dropped vr vocational rehab altogether

[@Tyreeleslie]

Thanks for sharing. Typical Gay men is not something is inclusive.Im sorry that te bar did not have real access to the bar for you.Im glade you are sharing your story.

[@ralphlyda4545]

Andrew, you’re very good-looking, with a very nice personality!! Chaps who paß you over because of your disability are mißing out on a great bleßing!!

[@brildidge9523]

A nice guy. God bless him !

[@jamietoland3677]

It is so unfortunate that as a community that wants acceptance and equality. That the gay community still has such crazy hang ups about race,disabilities, effeminate mannerisms, and weight issues. I applaud this man 4 taking chances a lot of us neber did or never will. I'm hopung this narrative changes someday so that we all can feel like a real part of the lgbtq community. Instead of undesirable or a social inconvenience.

[@jamesdufner7302]

Handsome fella

[@4WheelerinMiami]

I had a similar incident Andrew... I can relate to your courage. Email me or facebook me...

[@arlosmith2784]

Given that we get discriminated against over our sexual orientation, I don't understand why LGBTQ+ people can go along with other discrimination based on race, gender or disability 🌈

[@travismaupin6617]

Handsome

[@justjacksmusic2106]

I am also like you dude

[@jako6214]

I have CP, and can "Pass" as long as I'm wearing long pants. I always try to be engaging with anyone I meet. It's hard to belong to a community that looks for the "Perfect Profile" I smile and hide the pain from some of the barbs from gay men in bars. They are looking for someone and don't have the time to notice imperfection. The line in the sand was drawn long ago as to meeting someone for sex. I did have a relationship with someone who gave me HIV, but that "Time Spent" was maybe the drugs he was using, or a pity f**k. Sadly at 69 chances to meet someone is limited. There not many that acknowledge that there are more of us "Wall Flowers" than they think. It's a lonely life but I stay positive, cheery, and busy. I'm not in the same boat as this young man with a chair, but I understand him. LOL, For all the guys saying there is someone out there for you...in my dreams!

[@ralphlyda4545]

Ja Ko, you seem to have quite a realistic view, a positive attitude, & a wonderful personality! I’d definitely love to meet you!

[@tomgreaney1]

Seriously handsome, funny, and adorable, although pink shirt and glow sticks! I would love to dance with you 😢

[@jmparks1982]

I think nobody expresses it or talks about it because the gay community is afraid of offending somebody in a wheelchair

[@fintan3563]

❤️❤️❤️

[@moisesrodriguez4150]

i woulda def danced with u!

[@GianniStella]

anyway I'm not seeing cerebral palsy, he can have full complex phrases, and very brave and wise ones too. I evidently don't know what cerebral palsy exactly is

[@mslaurondo]

CP varies from person to person. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_palsy

[@GianniStella]

Laura Larrondo Thanx!

[@tomwilliams6768]

+Gianni Stella cerebral having to do with damage to one area of the brain and palsy means a weakness on one side on a personal note to simplify thing I used to walk with a limp due to a dislocated hip unfortunately I now cant walk without the user of a rollator walker the ones w a built in seat Andrew can I get your your youtube id mine's [e-mail] and for the record I still question what iam at 46 years old

[@tomwilliams6768]

+Tom Williams I didn't walk til 5 years old

[@stumpydog87]

Sweetheart you are a honey.