XFM The Ricky Gervais Show Series 2 Episode 31 - Muttley

The Ricky Gervais Show Broadcast 22nd March 2003.
Thanks for all your support, it's a privilege to be able to document these shows for other like-minded people to enjoy.
MECHant: www.man-moth.com/
(Incase you're in the market for some Rock Buster prizes. Full disclaimer, I quite enjoy making things so I'll be adding to them over time and I also get 3-4 English pounds when someone actually buys one. Hope you don't mind and as always, I'm massively grateful).
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[@ManMoth]

Hey guys, sorry for pinning this comment on all videos but I want to give you an update on the channel. I've been slowly adding a show archive to the videos including a full transcript added as sub titles and a full track listing (with links to KZbin videos for each track). Pilkipedia archive link has been added as well and I've been having fun illustrating some of KP's best bits, I'm adding these to a shop incase anyone is interested: www.man-moth.com/ It's taking me a while to update the archives, especially as I don't work Mondays so please bear with me as I chip away at it. Lots of love, Man Moth.

[@TheDGNB]

Uyiui in uiuuiiiiiyy uhh I highly uhh hyi out I I'll uhh isjki hi io ok oi oi oi juiiiiiio

[@TheDGNB]

Ukuuujju ty law of the week ok oi

[@RodOfRassilon]

"Rick, I should tell you now, there has been a flood of - Oh, no there hasn't." Quite possibly my favourite Steve moment.

[@WollongongWacko]

likewise

[@TheOssumPawesome]

+BigJamook Smerchy didn't ruin the joke. Just sorta fizzled it out

[@gtrrs71]

Oh so you're an armchair comedy expert now, BigJamook? Piss off, you dunce.

[@TWisM009]

+BigJamook Did Merchant fuck your missus or summit.. You have So much hate for him as it's not the first comment I've read of yours. Whether you like it or not these shows, podcasts etc wouldn't be the same without him. It'd be like the beatles without George Harrison, it wouldn't work!

[@23tboz23]

steve is the only reason either of them made it. ricky is lazy as fk and karl just rode a wave. theres no radio show without steve. nor office or extras. ricky is a talented lazy fkr who likes to fuck around. steve is the only reason the office got finished. ricky would still be filming. dont get me wrong. love ricky. steve definitely isnt a comedian. but hes the sensible side ricky needs

[@erizzle67]

I love how Ricky was violently against Karl playing his changed up Songs of Phrase, and kept fighting and fighting, but then was rewarded once he finally gave in. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaars! Bar bar bar.

[@kyleblindell1330]

I’ve never hated Karl and his DUMB as FUCK ideas so much!😂

[@mothmothmanmothman1541]

The fact that Karl can, with a straight face, compare his creation of rock busters to Newton's discovery of gravity.

[@Aalborg42]

How did Graceland start?

[@waltermontiel4405]

MothMothManMothMan See, I think he doesn't get enough credit for joking. There are a lot of times where I can tell Karl is joking and even Ricky doesn't pick up on it or calls it stupid.

[@waltermontiel4405]

Tom Oliver mabey

[@Sightation]

“fit ‘em on your cat feet.. walking around the kitchen mopping the floor."

[@studkickass513]

@@waltermontiel4405 LOL!!! *Maybe* he was joking in later series - like the podcast, perhaps. However, he was truly this ignorant at this time. In his defense, he was just gullible from day dot due to his upbringing and his parents. Then comes along "accessible-to-all" internet that was full of inaccurate junk yet paraded itself as fact... What am I saying? "- internet that *was* full of inaccurate junk"?!?! No, "the internet definitely still is"!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@eddydyer2997]

Steve singing the baker street sound at 10:36 is now my text alert

[@GuyIncognito_]

Is it stil? That's great lol.

[@butcherax]

This episode is like being in the trenches with these three. Raging conflicts followed by periods of quiet solemnity and hushed conversation.

[@Scallion_D]

Yeah. This episode was pretty poor because of this.

[@Christoff070]

@@Scallion_D every episode was pretty poor to be fair. But still hilarious

[@MrMongoose221]

Yeah I often wake up to Ricky screaming or laughing.

[@maximumbeans9310]

@@MrMongoose221 So he really is a terrible neighbour, Steve was right all along.

[@ant3978]

someone needs to equalise the audio

[@odw_99]

R: “You’ve annoyed Steve ON AIR” K: “…...sorry about that” Gets me every time😂😂

[@KirkWilson86]

That's the only time that Karl has apologized on air lol

[@ReachForTheSky]

@@KirkWilson86 He apologised a few times to the listeners, either for screwing up rockbusters clues or for the general quality of the show, but to either of them yeah I think this was the only one

[@FEARYOYOYO]

@@KirkWilson86 he did apologize about his idea for the queen mom

[@studkickass513]

​@@ReachForTheSkyIt my fault.

[@rumbleshakeskin]

8:39 And you neeeeeeever see an ol'man eating a MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS BAR BAR BAR!

[@tate3777]

What kills me is hearing Rick and Steve laugh at the "MAAAARS" but then laugh even harder at the Ba Ba Ba because they didn't see it coming

[@FIELDSbass]

I've just heard it for the very first time and I'm in tears, hahahahaha!

[@Christoff070]

If only someone had wrote a song about a Twix bar.

[@jotunmarty]

One thing that always irked me when Karl first made his feature me in a film - the twix sense , and Ricky keeps saying it's one of the best things we've come up with, and I keep thinking which part of that did you edit or write ? And I know he probably meant we as a whole but the way he says it makes it seem like he is taking half the credit for all the work Karl did

[@lilme7052]

What if songs are made like this in the future?

[@dickyanders8138]

Lmao at 6:46 "there has been a flood of ... oh no there hasn't"

[@MrFoodAndDrink]

I love how Karl just starts playing music if he can't handle it

[@Christoff070]

Play a record

[@JasperOosterveld]

Play a record!

[@Owen-wc1wr]

Don't worry about him, he candle it

[@amie3529]

@@Owen-wc1wr niche

[@kevinquatman4068]

@@Owen-wc1wr lolol i was gonna say this

[@kris4247]

love the names of the episodes mate your clearly a fan x been listening for countless years now and they feel like old friends . when alone or miles from england these boys give you a slice of everything thats great with the U.K and our utter ignorance of all world affairs . thanks for the uploads mate keep them coming :)

[@ManMoth]

+Kris Hewson Absolutely Kris, instant homeyness in an audio file :-)

[@leeroyjenkins5754]

Well said mate 👌

[@guscox9651]

Excellent comment haha

[@TheJames208]

Been listening for these for so many years. Probably since 2011. Literally got me through my school years as these guys do such a good job removing you from your surroundings. Been all the way to new Zealand with this playing the entire time. Thanks again for the uploads

[@jiayojames]

"and what exactly is a pinhead?" "ahh... if you've seen it you'd know"

[@lilme7052]

god this made me laugh. Pinhead was a character in Neighbours once.

[@re20bt]

Can you imagine an argument on air in 2021 like these guys had😂

[@studkickass513]

They'd be fired immediately 😂

[@ferise1]

Stop talking in terms of years they go by so quick talk in terms of decades

[@a_b897]

"Arrgh, the boat be mine now or I take your son." "Let me think about it."

[@emilyj9497]

"I need a new bed." LOL!

[@jotunmarty]

Look at the gleam on that - thing about this is it's an investment , it's like gold rope Ricky: the gleam! I haven't heard that word in 20 years

[@laurabowes8702]

🤣🤣🤣

[@AA-hg5fk]

Haha we see where Steve gets his miserliness from

[@TheOssumPawesome]

I kinda used to think paralympics had something to do with the word paralysis until i heard this episode the first time...

[@jackoenglish2711]

So did Steve by the sound of his reaction.

[@WollongongWacko]

I'll admit I did as well

[@MetaphorInVain]

And I actually think Ricky didnt have a clue until someone told his friend he was wrong.

[@lorenioooooas]

actually Paralympics was based on the "para" in paraplegic/paralysis etc. It was retroactively changed to parallel. Do your research.

[@WollongongWacko]

Round here, we'all say play a record partner

[@existentialape]

I love scrolling through the comments to see how many people have picked out my favourite part of the show. This episode: “You go - that’s a wig. “

[@deltaframes-os4km]

that person is banned....from....the comp

[@existentialape]

@@deltaframes-os4km Karl’s mannerisms make him so likeable it’s unreal. Like why shorten to ‘comp’? Not necessary at all yet we all know what he means and it makes us love him even more

[@tetsuoshima7385]

One of my faves too and one of the many that Ricky recycled for his stand-up😂😊

[@grease_monkey6078]

I miss the early 2000s so much, these shows take me back

[@alexiscondit898]

Paddy's Pub was not the original home of, Kitten Mittens, Xfm was.

[@ConCon75]

That mars bar bit has me laughing my arse off like a maniac on the ferry

[@ThePontiacBandit911]

Buy-on Ferry?? ⛴️

[@Martin-88]

Hope there was no Christ de burgh!

[@alandodd3184]

smoking stunt your growth what a great response from Ricky does anybody else listen to these just constantly even when they're all finished move on to the audio books and the guy Tues and the podcast and then back onto these or am I the only one

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

Guy Tues? x

[@lyzzlyzzy1023]

Currently on my 2nd go-round this month

[@camille79]

Freaks is now available on HBO Max. It's actually a very sweet movie!

[@davidlewis4162]

The best part of this show is when Karl slyly has a go at Stephan merchant and Ricky loosing he’s shit 😂 this show is great always come back to it every couple of years

[@wanalikdemfeet]

"Keep the flavor up, keep the flavor up" Never fails to kill me LOL

[@alandodd7195]

Bruce Willis saying ..... Oh it's not good is it?

[@bourneultamatum]

2nd hour of this show was great. No arguing just hilarious chat with Karl's invention banter!

[@capnhawkins]

19:40 Daddy Gervais babysitting two children haha

[@dalemcmahon4130]

Karl asks Steve how deep the water was because he was definitely planning a tall joke when Steve is telling the boat story but Steve didn’t give him a chance to get it in lol

[@vividdylan400]

I don't get Karl making fun of his height and Steve genuinely getting upset by it. Being tall, even if way too tall that it looks awkward, is still not an insult.

[@bigman25plus25]

I love how Ricky heals the wounds after the fight... so subtle but capable :)

[@ufoash440]

Shame Ricky can't do anything subtle nowadays. He was at his best here.

[@maxcohen13]

'Oi! Muttley!

[@BoManton]

put the time stamp

[@greglynch391]

I make it *32* seconds non-stop that Ricky laughs for 😱 That’s an incredibly long amount of time to laugh!

[@Kendo121e]

@@BoManton 18:01

[@Dickie2shoes]

Boo not freakish enough, Boo

[@WollongongWacko]

ooh you've got bits of legs boo!

[@linnea7255]

You're brilliant for uploading these, mate. I've listened through them probably 5 times or so since I was about fifteen - though I still haven't heard a single one of those without Karl...

[@ManMoth]

Linnea Markström :-) They're on KZbin I think, usually called something like Series 0. I'll get to them myself once the rest are up.

[@linnea7255]

Oh, I was actually just referring to the occasional episodes in these series where Karl is off, haven't bothered to sit through them even though I love Ricky and Steve as well. But that would be absolutely awesome of you! :)

[@GalacticAstroparticles]

Linnea Markström most of them are pretty good, there is interesting chat between Ricky, Steve and Claire Sturgess, and there is one of them (I think it's midway the 2nd season) where Karl is sick and they get him to call up in a very funny way.

[@linnea7255]

orestisDisturbed yeah, I think I'll give 'em a go, they're probably just as good, even though I skip them almost automatically because of some fear that "it won't be the same". (Like ur avatar of the great green arkleseizure btw :) )

[@GalacticAstroparticles]

Linnea Markström thank you and bless you!

[@MelancholicEcho]

"I know you're alright, I-know-you're-alrighttt. Never mind these youngsters shouting at you, and knocking your cap off".

[@jonlcfc1]

Haha thanks for the upload. I love Karl's cheeky comment at 43:45 about the depth of the water, alluding to Steve's height even at the age of 12 or 13 lol

[@Christoff070]

i never noticed this good one

[@capnhawkins]

Haha never caught that before!

[@6guns431]

How did you even hear that?

[@jotunmarty]

I caught that but I've listened to them so many times, like when they are talking about the bodpod on celebrity fit club and Karl gets in a joke no one hears when jono gets in the bodpod does it say one at a time please ?

[@aakashsunil7913]

These old shows prove that Karl isn't scripted for. If you follow through with him to even his relatively recent TV shows and fb stuff, he's so consistent with his ideas and personality. I remember him bringing up the mops on the cat's feet when he went to Japan in The Moaning of life.

[@AA-hg5fk]

None of us thought Karl was a scripted character!

[@LifeOfRy]

@@AA-hg5fk There are actually a decent handful of annoying little contrarians/overkill sceptics who still comment saying Karl was "given lines" and he dumbs himself down or goes out of his way to seem thick. I always stress: he really is *that* gormless.

[@ChimozuFu]

22:14 little races

[@WollongongWacko]

R - "Imagine Newton coming up with that. IMAGINE NEWTON coming up with that, Karl, think about it."

[@PaddyRoon7]

I wonder what Karl's mind is perceiving when he's thinking about weird people. The fact he says "it" instead of he/she makes me think he pictures them as animals lol. My favourite one was his hypothetical argument with the woman who breastfed her 8 ysar old son, when he said to put the milk in a bowl first. Not a glass, a bowl.

[@billyconley1515]

Yeah well the episode previous to this one he refers to a gay man as “it” as well 😂

[@xFoozle]

Karl is actually right about the E.T. costume thing...

[@Christophee1987]

Yeah, but his track record and lack of details go against him, so they automatically don't believe him.

[@kevinflemming5928]

Ages ago...

[@MrSmithy5]

@@kevinflemming5928 17th century?

[@guyledouche7939]

Olden times?

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Once upon a time, he means

[@justinkline8437]

"It's a cleaner place, and you haven't got stung."

[@DavidMcmenemy]

"If she's not hungry, she looks normal"

[@Raven-Claws88]

"I've never needed mc² (sic) but the fella who made the video recorder... I watch one a week". Weirdest critique of Einstein I've ever heard!

[@Christoff070]

His mam also thought he was mental as a child

[@omikronweapon]

@ady nails completely this. Every whine is something that directly inconveniences hím. Birthday presents? Great to get, but when hé has to thínk about getting one: let's stop this silly tradition. Inventions, new words? "Pointless, I have all I need". Doesn't quite realise that old inventions had similar periods of development.

[@notmyname9261]

I have to say though, I find it weird that Rikcy gets hung-up on him saying MC² rather than saying the full thing. He's being brief. It hardly matters.

[@gdafydd4]

the greatest 'songs of phrase' ever!

[@nick0is0ace]

For the record: there was a little fella with no legs inside ET. This was used for the scenes where ET is walking around the house, etc. Spielberg actually went to the amputee ward of a hospital to find someone with an "unhuman" walk, as he wanted ET to walk in a unique manner.

[@Scallion_D]

Man when they talk about the Iraq War protests it hits home how old these are!

[@HookedonChronics]

cat mops reminds me of kitten mittens.

[@WollongongWacko]

that's fair

[@Benfamir]

I love hearing these again. I loved them when they aired in 2004

[@MrPeterhemm]

Maaaaahhhhhhzzzzzz ba, ba, ba!

[@rickewilde]

Lol. Love that your comment has Translate to English underneath it 😄

[@robertanderson2552]

Really hope these guys get back together someday.... Chemistry is brilliant. Miss it

[@wra7h]

Thats 2 things ive heard inbetweeners take from RgS. 'Clunge' and 'friend'

[@Christophee1987]

Cammy The creators of The Inbetweeners are friends of Ricky, so I imagine they all had a similar sense of humour and use a lot of the same words and phrases, rather than taking things from each other's shows.

[@Christophee1987]

+Jack G I'm English too, and I've only ever heard the word in this show, Extras and The Inbetweeners.

[@grantmorgan5271]

hahaha

[@jakewallwork907]

The use of the word “brilliant” from Ricky is often repeated on the inbetweeners

[@DeathcoreDashcam]

There's another Inbetweeners scene from these shows, when Karl says he likes "young Zane Lowe" Ricky and Steve's reaction is used in the show lol

[@Rossboe1]

"Ive never used penicillin, but Ive used nurofen and benylin." Penicillin has saved hundreds of millions of lives, including mine multiple times, nerofen might numb a headache slightly.

[@AA-hg5fk]

Are you trying to say that Karl isn't very well informed? Thanks for clarifying that antibiotics have saved lives!

[@chester6514]

I am not interested in facts, Rick!

[@AI-tc8fv]

50:40 "Steve's coming with me to an idea" 😂😂 listen to how Ricky mimics him off so slyly

[@jamestaylor1445]

How selfish is karl at 49:10 just because he hasn't used penicillin and then the arrogance to think rockbusters is better than "even the telescope"😂

[@erizzle67]

As a North Carolinian, much of this discussion is pertinent and in the news here... 25:28

[@capnhawkins]

If you ever need to give someone a quick impression of what this show is like, just play for them this episode's Songs of Phrase. Pretty much sums up the hilarious outlandishness of this show.

[@bencheshire]

I lost it around 18:00 one of the funniest bits ever

[@BoManton]

49:07 Karl’s offended that Ricky thinks the telescope is a better invention than rockbusters.

[@nayf7682]

I've never heard anyone say cigarette like Smerch!

[@ThePontiacBandit911]

And ‘salad’. 🥗

[@AA-hg5fk]

​@@ThePontiacBandit911yeah he says "sa-lid" - a strange West country thing I think

[@rumbleshakeskin]

35:10 I always nod at police if I'm walking past them but never when I'm driving because it's too much of a hint to pull me over.

[@johnhill2176]

I know you're alright...never mind these youngsters shouting at you and knocking your cap off

[@mikethompson10]

Thanks for the uploads. Amazing

[@reddragon4482]

I love Steve & Karl having a go at each other lol.

[@danieldouglas2131]

About 17:20 when Karl rips right into Steve absolutely killed me😂

[@lelandb123]

Ricky’s stifled laughter kills me. He loves it.

[@johnnypocketrocket]

thanks for uploading, I literally shit myself laughing 😆.

[@TheHogg92TM]

***** keeps it there for a week then he can join the hells angels.

[@TomFry]

johnnypocketrocket taking a leaf out of Auntie Nora's book.

[@Owen-wc1wr]

Has anyone seen Steve as Caliban in Logan? I hadn’t seen it before and just burst out laughing. I would love to hear Karl’s thoughts on it

[@williamsmith666]

"...s'a'right."

[@drake128]

There was an interview somewhere where Steve had sent Karl a picture of him in the makeup with the shaved head etc

[@vividhkothari1]

I felt really sorry for Karl when in "Moaning of life" he got this hair tupe that he really liked but Suzanne didn't. He has to go to the shop the next day and take it off.

[@PikeBishop1]

Who if I remember correctly used to cut his hair blind folded with garden shears.

[@mAcroFaze]

54:08 - Anyone else bothered by how Steve pronounces, "Cigarette" as "Seegrette"?

[@YaBoiMaxito]

Salid

[@lilme7052]

Its his accent , I dont get the problem

[@chester6514]

As a matter of fact, I’ve been in therapy for the past year trying to get through it.

[@I_V_X]

That link after Bob Dylan is an outrageous way to start a radio show

[@jackmundy2131]

I always crack up at the old man eating a mars bar bar bar

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

"Dint mention nuthin' about Pin'eads!!!" x

[@WollongongWacko]

Thanks for the upload

[@ManMoth]

WollongongWacko You're very welcome

[@WollongongWacko]

Dude you interacted with The Moth!.. Play a record.

[@Scallion_D]

Lol at substituting Twix with Mars Bar. 😆

[@eviticus5575]

One of my favourite weeks

[@HopeVJustice]

55:24 K : "Gerry & The Pacemakers.. Echo & The Bunnymen.... * *loses track* * ... Arghhhh... " R : * *Erupts* * 55:43 R : Who was that one you didn't knowo'izuz? XD *"Words are my tool!!!"* ;D

[@Livikyu]

Imagine telling him in a few years he'll be sat in a brothel in Thailand with a bunch of ladyboys.

[@lilme7052]

dressed as a woman

[@nonaplane]

My dad's two bits of advice were 'never ignore the obvious' and 'if you're got a choice to do two things, try and do both', only just realised why pilky is a genius

[@n0rdicwarking]

"I don't know why I keep spoutin' on with this drivel. It's the Guardian, I think, that's doing it to me."

[@luukeluketer1024]

So he changed twix to mars bar.......

[@owenrobertson907]

"As opposed to me walking around in my velcro suit."lol.

[@KSPF92]

Wow 20 years ago this was broadcasted

[@jianblundell6038]

When steve says he's going to slap Karl, you don't hear the slapping in this video, but on the xfm website he rapidly slaps him like a cat would, all the while Ricky laughs 😂

[@studkickass513]

Can you link us?

[@jianblundell6038]

​@@studkickass513 not sure if I can, but if you Google: "XFM Vault - the Ricky Gervais show" and go to episode 31, and go to - 38:50 timestamp you'll hear the glorious wrath of Steve!

[@WeirdSeagul]

I just had an ad for Ricky's new movie :):)

[@Aalborg42]

The ET skateboard thing is true

[@vinoandretti]

"Even the telescope..." Classic...

[@davidkglevi]

I can't understand how Karl missed the fact that the reason the woman in Freaks eats with her feet is because she has NO arms!

[@thedarksiderebel]

that always bugged me!

[@lilme7052]

he was thinking of Steve

[@davidkglevi]

@@lilme7052 When he saw the movie?

[@lilme7052]

@@davidkglevi yeah

[@davidkglevi]

@@lilme7052 Always thinking about Steve, unlike Ricky.

[@WhatsInTheFog]

I know that someone will have deffo written what I'm about to write but.......Karl is absolutely right about the bloke in the E.T costume.

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

Yeah they have, so don't talk shite twice😆x

[@WhatsInTheFog]

+BigJamook You're an idiot, play a record:)

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

+WhatsInTheFog Play two records! x

[@TheMayDog]

I would probably be drawn to you more...

[@Elitenuke]

51:07 "tell me more" 😂😂 perfect for dragons den

[@lisasou95]

The best songs of phrase.😀

[@Wagoo]

I wonder if Steve never learned to swim well as he could just stand up in any swimming pool?

[@Martin-88]

Steve is quick to dish out insults but he's so bad at taking them. He's so insecure.

[@ToweTiih]

Wish he wasn't, cuz he is brilliant ❤

[@nayf7682]

Can anybody swallow louder than on this show!? It's mental especially when they've eating biscuits or crisps.

[@KieranFuller17]

24:20 - I don't often disagree with Karl, but cats are very different. Of the dozen my mum has owned at various times, one of them is very different to the others. I miss that one, the others I'm less fussed about. Maybe, one day, Karl will have the kind of loving relationship with a cat he doesn't appear to have experienced thus far.

[@lunaalice7763]

Agreed. Animals have different personalities. Even sheep.

[@Meadowcroftsound]

Hidden Joke: Karl says how deep was it, implying Steve would be tall enough!

[@lobsterairsoft499]

Arr the boat be mine now

[@tommydeggerino4995]

So Karl thought up the original concept of dragons den....

[@blackfoot332]

Aw, I have to wait till episode 50 for the Galileo Songs of Phrase

[@MoRo1333]

hahaha Muttley :D

[@HopeVJustice]

I had to double take to check if your user pic was Karl or not :p

[@adamsubtract81]

I thought cigarette had more syllables Steve..

[@michae13james10]

“ A nice pair of bollocks in a jar” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@farzanashafique5521]

LONG LIVE SONGS OF PHRASE