Ferengi Rules of Acquisition - Complete List*

*Remember Rule of Acquisition #239
This is all the Rules of Acquisition that were given numbers on screen, except for #45 from ENT, which was a duplicate of #95. Also not counting Neelix's Rule 299, because he made it up himself.
0:19 - Rule 1
0:31 - Rule 3
0:38 - Rule 6
0:46 - Rule 7
0:52 - Rule 9
0:59 - Rule 10
1:02 - Rule 16
1:05 - Rule 17
1:10 - Rule 18
1:17 - Rule 21
1:26 - Rule 22
1:30 - Rule 23
1:39 - Rule 31
1:47 - Rule 33
1:58 - Rules 34 and 35
2:10 - Rule 47
2:16 - Rule 48
2:24 - Rule 57
2:37 - Rule 59
2:42 - Rule 62
2:46 - Rule 74
2:53 - Rule 75
3:04 - Rule 76
3:14 - Rule 94
3:17 - Rule 95
3:27 - Rule 98
3:35 - Rule 102
3:45 - Rule 103
3:55 - Rule 109
3:59 - Rule 111
4:06 - Rule 112
4:12 - Rule 125
4:17 - Rule 139
4:26 - Rule 168
4:32 - Rule 190
4:41 - Rule 194
4:56 - Rule 203
5:06 - Rule 208
5:16 - Rule 211
5:26 - Rule 214
5:31 - Rule 217
5:38 - Rule 223
5:45 - Rule 229
5:52 - Rule 239
5:58 - Rule 263
6:04 - Rule 285
6:11 - Rule 286

[@CaliMeatWagon]

"When I clicked on this I thought it was the compl..." "Rule 239, never be afraid to mislabel a product"

[@Slydeish]

Ha! Genius interpretation.

[@TheCubecrafer]

the pharma industry takes this adivice to heart!

[@rickcoona]

Latanum!

[@Lanceawright]

Well observed and played. You might have some Ferengi in you.

[@ACIDJAZZZZ]

The fact that the character winks to is just the cherry on top

[@hisdudeness8328]

"Good customers are as rare as Latium. Treasure them." That's actually a pretty good rule.

[@cphtfluke7565]

Repeat business is good business.

[@DinsRune]

Shockingly sentimental for Ferengi, too. It's pragmatic, but I think there are also some things even the Ferengi hold sacred.

[@demi-fiendoftime3825]

It's the one i consider the most important

[@sanghelian]

Quite a few of them were good rules, it's just that they are framed in "greedy and scheming" context. The best thing in DS9 specifically was how much effort they did humanizing the comically evil one-dimensional villains. And comical one-dimentional worf.

[@CBT5777]

The best customer is the employee. But capitalism doesn't treasure them.

[@MemeticMutant]

#31: You forgot the rest. "Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... make fun of something he cares about instead."

[@ShineyFaceJr]

Lol

[@LeeBotton]

Wow thanks for pointing that out. I had actually missed that when I watched.

[@narutohuntmendemon6354]

So they don't care about their mothers you are saying?

[@bimapringgo]

@@narutohuntmendemon6354 it means not all Ferengi care about their mothers.

[@mattstorm360]

@@narutohuntmendemon6354 Ferengi were pretty misogynistic until they reformed.

[@simplyincorrigible7708]

A complete list of the rules of acquisition can be found at the corporate HQ of Electronic Arts.

[@alexanderward5286]

Not many people will get what you’re saying here be when I read it I literally laughed in a middle of a subway

[@buckrodgers1162]

Naa EA is far too corrupt. The Ferengi would never allow short term gains to rule over long term sustainability.

[@NinjaSushi2]

If signed into the agreement contract that every employee signs when they join. Then they recite all the acquisitions every morning before work. Then the acquisitions play in the background ominously while they work throughout the duty day.

[@antoncasciano8747]

@@buckrodgers1162 true

[@astarteswillum5259]

Knowing how they run things, they probably added on to the rules.

[@SeanMusicFreak]

"Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own." Sensible advise right there.

[@BelmontClan]

Which I don’t trust religious leaders cause they wear better suits than everyone

[@Th3M4k40n]

In Mass Effect something similar was said: "I don't trust anyone that makes more (money) than I do." lol

[@alm2187]

47! Come to think of it, wonder if there's a supercut of 47s in Star Trek...

[@thebluedragon07]

very much so.

[@warlockpaladin2261]

Very good rule!

[@RockinRhinox]

Some trekkers speak Klingon, some study ship design, I learned the Rules of Acquisition.

[@JeremeDavis]

batlantern Oh so you learned how to be a car salesman

[@RockinRhinox]

No more like they thought me how to watch out for the used care salesman.

[@mr6johnclark]

+batlantern Some Rules of Acquisition is actually good business sense!

[@altha2008]

I looked at the Klingon Women in their outfits

[@Jukrates]

I study ship design

[@wrath2501]

Forgot Rule 299. "When you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way it's easier to exploit them the next time."

[@JackMacLupus]

That one is made up by Neelix isnt it?

[@ShaunCheah]

@@JackMacLupus Rule 12: "When no appropriate rule applies, make one up."

[@favioferreira8921]

My favorite rule is "If you're good at something, never do it for free".

[@kevn107]

You mean rule # 13? Anything worth doing is worth doing for money!

[@tattoorocker]

I like that rule

[@prophetzarquon1922]

Then again, anything worth doing is worth doing for free. (... I'd make a terrible Ferrengi.)

[@renard6012]

I don't want to prostitute myself.

[@geniosityfilms]

Joker was a secret Ferengi

[@beastwarsFTW]

57th rule of acquisition: Good customers are as rare a latinum, treasure them. Sounds like "Don't kill the golden goose" which is a good rule.

[@cunningsmile4166]

Quark values his customers

[@thegrimcritic5494]

That’s an extremely noble rule to have, and one more companies should follow.

[@DinsRune]

"He always paid his tab on time" is the Ferengi equivalent of "he was a saint in every respect."

[@wolvie90]

"What's the 34th?" "WAR is good for business, it's easy to get them confused" What a fantastic line. I generally think the Ferengi is all in all a wasted opportunity in the Star Trek Verse but man Quark was a good character.

[@Keemperor40K]

Before DS9 and Quark giving them a fresh hypercapitalist minded make over and more nuance, they where a subpar addition. At one point they where slated to be primary antagonists, but that never clicked. After DS9, the Ferengi are far more nuanced and interesting in great part thanks to this "code of honor" as it where, but also because their greed is directed and utilized for both moral storytelling and as a medium to explore both the Ferengi and our own hypercapitalist society.

[@Speedkid]

Hear all trust nothing!

[@shiningarmor2838]

If you ever forget that one, just look up "Ferengi Rule 34"

[@johntucker23]

Rule of Acquisition No 0...Ignore all the following rules where convenient.

[@Sjimmijim]

That's more like a universal rule for rules.

[@Yonkage]

Barbossa: They're really more like "guidelines"..

[@agiar2000]

Well, yeah, I mean no one would buy a book title _Suggestions of Acquisition!_ ;)

[@giantpotato3]

That's also the first rule for the Prime Directive.

[@MrShaneVicious]

Sounds like christianity

[@cathaloriordan271]

"Dignity and a sack is worth the sack." Great

[@SantomPh]

Dignity In A Sack

[@jamesrudolph6159]

Seems like that goes against rule 112 (never sleep with the boss's sister) and a couple others.

[@bobosims1848]

Actually, you forgot a word: "Dignity and an EMPTY sack is worth the sack." I agree it seems like a minor detail, but I wouldn't risk a misquote.

[@icecold1805]

@@bobosims1848 actually, that word is essential "dignity and empty sack is worth a sack" is basically an insult to those who opt for a simple life, and philosophies like stoicism. It claims that having dignity while living disposesed it's worthless. Dignity will only have value if your sack isn't empty. It's a horrendous idea, truly an expression of capitalism: we will value your attributes, only as long as you don't have an empty sack.

[@William-the-Guy]

@@icecold1805 lol. You ever been poor? The only people who say money doesn't matter are the ones who've always had it. I believe I heard that on "the Boys" actually, but it's true. Now, once you have enough money to live a comfortable middle class life, then you can stop caring about getting anymore. That works pretty well for some people. But the idea that you could have NO money, ie "an empty sack" and still be happy is ridiculous.

[@MrBullterrier]

-Peace is good for business. RoA 34 -That's rule 35... -What's rule 34? -WAR is good for business. It's easy to get them confused... Just made my day. :D

[@KickyFut]

That's rule34 of the Internet... not of Acquisition!

[@JackDuripper]

Being at peace is good for business. Other people being at war is also good for business.

[@davidjacobs8558]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/npW0lHqwl9WBbdU Quark solves the problem of War with Economics

[@xhag1x]

basically when it is convenient for them

[@Reach1335]

It's so true as long as you can flip-flop between them. Lasting peace and war is extremely detrimental for business. If you don't believe me about lasting peace look at the Western Counties since the fall of the Soviets. China's going badly as well and Japan has gotten stagnant after the late 90's early 00's. There's no real threat anymore except sand-people blowing themselves up randomly along with civilians so no one really wants to focus war efforts except US because they know what happens when there's peace for too long where industry and production are concerned. Not to mention people becoming lazy and decadent in such times, which is and always has been a recipe for disaster. But maybe our smartphones and pcs will save us this time, if they don't enslave us first.

[@Mrjohnnymoo1]

"War is profitable." "Peace is profitable" "Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemy." This is the way.

[@hisdudeness8328]

The Federation should have done that when the Dominion was kicking their asses. I'm sure it would have confused the hell out of the Founder and Weyoun.

[@myriadmediamusings]

Lower Decks has given us the 8th Rule of Acquisition: Small Print Leads to Large Risk. This was actually one of the apocryphal rules from an old real world reference book of the rules released in the mid 90's.

[@onedaxster]

Lower Decks also gave us 91: Your boss is only worth what he pays you

[@CaptainJZH]

@@onedaxsterdamn that's actually a good rule

[@markuscriticus8278]

Fun fact: The first rule was actually 162. Grand Nagus Gint did it as a marketing ploy to create demand for the previous 161.

[@85set05]

Markus Criticus wasn't that part of some sort of dream and thus non cannonical.

[@msbcheet6041]

I remember that being said about the Rules!

[@Rhyusfox]

You know, Yogurt would either get along well with the Ferenghi, or just not be able to stand 'em. Who knows, one day the universe might just see Spaceballs 3: The Search for Spaceballs 2.

[@ralphremo2406]

@@Rhyusfox this comment just made my night and deserves more likes

[@SydneySininen]

Oml that's amazing

[@DarthCipient]

"The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife" is my favourite.

[@SSSpider23]

well i remember when some start attack me while he smile :D so i think thats really right :D and is not nice (its like bluff "i dont have problem with u " and then boom...evrythink is up side down :D

[@jakep1979]

DarthCipient That's why I'm always worry when I see politicians smile cause I know they are profiting which means most likely I will be losing.

[@tomaszjurczak7256]

I`m more of a fan of #214

[@MrHatoi]

#112: Never have sex with the bosses sister Really raises some questions about what they were doing when they made that.

[@emperorconstantine1.361]

MrHatoi #113 Always have sex with the boss! I laughed till I couldn't breath once I heard those two in order!!

[@PaperbackWizard]

"You can't free a fish from water." The Ferengi are so wise, in their way.

[@jakep1979]

PaperbackWizard I am sure there is a rule that counters a human rule cause of profit like " give a a man a fish and he becomes your customer for the day, let him rely on you rather then teach him how to fish"

[@TheNavyShark]

"Sell a man a fish, and he can eat for a day, teach a man to fish, and you lose a great business opportunity."-Karl Marx aka the OG Ferengi.

[@DClatterbuck]

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life. -Terry Pratchett.

[@altha2008]

A lot of people thinks that is a Christian saying but they are wrong. It is Buddest ... Jesus never said that. Jesus said that he will make you fishing of men... He did not say that he will teach a man to fish

[@tifforo1]

That quote actually has an unknown origin, although it has been incorrectly attributed to Confucius and Laozi.

[@FrenziedFury]

I'm kinda partial to some of the non-canon rules such as: "If they can't be bought, get ready for a fight!" - Grand Nagus Rom #16: "A deal is a deal until a better one comes along." #27: "There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman." #29: "What's in it for me?" #40: "She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum." #43: "Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it." #97: "Enough is never enough." #98: "If you can't take it with you, don't go." #108: "Hope doesn't keep the lights on." #189: "Let others keep their reputation, you keep their money." #242: "More is good, all is better."

[@Mautar55]

WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?

[@thesenate5291]

@@Mautar55 Lobes....not the lobes

[@TwoStageTrigger]

If no existing rule applies, make one up.

[@canrex7540]

Ah rule 98 must be how we get dragons.

[@Emanuela9]

There's always room for another 0.

[@Kerorofan1990]

"Latinum lasts longer than lust." Well said.

[@endingman]

Disregard females Acquire currency

[@LordVader1094]

@Taramafor Haikido What are you babbling about?

[@howtoappearincompletely9739]

Beautiful alliteration.

[@cunningsmile4166]

But lust is a lot more fun

[@TheNightOwl11683]

​@@endingman"Females & finances don't mix." Rule of Acquisition #94

[@Vaxthefennec]

Rule 48 is my favorite, cause it actually saved me a business proposition in RL... "Bigger the smile, the sharper the knife" Someone was super nice and polite and tried to scam me, I thought of that rule and said no thanks. Don't take these rules for granted, some of them are damned well useful.

[@MichaelGroesbeck]

They're all true for the moment, but not all true & moral for all eternity.. In fact, the entire list is full of contradictions that require judgment for the situation....for the sake of profit. Profit is a false motivator, as it is freedom/independence & good company which prove to be the greatest attractor of capital & opportunity....or power & relationships. Both of which originate from serving PURPOSE before power. Basically, if you scam someone, it hurts your reputation...& a damaged reputation scares customers away.

[@Vaxthefennec]

Michael Groesbeck Oh will you just shut the hell up and recognize a TV show spoof when you see it? Holy shit.

[@BenHughes81]

Michael Groesbeck If you pay attention to the show, Ferengi culture is based on profit. It's a work of fiction.

[@MichaelGroesbeck]

Ben Hughes The way they look is fictitious. Their ethic & logic is not.

[@snailofkale]

Are you a furry Vax the Fennec

[@anon1257]

Some of these rules are actually good advice and quite wise. Others, well.... not so much.

[@Xerock]

Some of it comes from Tsung Tzu's The Art of War

[@butcherboy2008]

The 59th Rule is very good advice.

[@xvdvn2216]

48 is a perfect rule.

[@jakep1979]

heargote if the bosses sister is really hot, only do it if you are willing to accept the cost of being fired from your job.

[@janinemiller288]

# 48. It is just so true. Especially when these phone solicitors call.

[@TheSheiban]

Every once in a while, declare peace - it confuses the hell out of your enemies...

[@NextLevelCode]

Rule number 2018: don't include the good parts when you can sell them as DLC.

[@victorselve8349]

It's interesting that there does not seem to be a rule that deals with the importance of making customers dependent on *your* product.

[@MushVPeets]

@@victorselve8349 That wasn't as big a deal at the time, I guess. In hindsight, that ought to be in the first 10. It works brilliantly. :D

[@mikegallant811]

Rule number 2019: Never put Online Weapons and Vehicles and properties in Story Mode!

[@barrylucas505]

Brovo

[@beastwarsFTW]

@@mikegallant811 Rule number 2020: Listen to complainers there wallets, not there words.

[@jokervynehahaha5568]

When i was a kid, listened to a book on tape of every rule with stories, read by Quarks actor. Been searching 20 years for it again

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

Find it yet?

[@alm2187]

Huh? I had the pocketbook by Ira Steven Behr. Didn't know there was an audiobook with stories...

[@kalel1805]

I'm extremely late to this conversation, but are you talking about the Legends of the Ferengi Audiobook?

[@comentedonakeyboard]

Well you could ask an AI of your choice to read them, in whomevers voice you like. But beware: free advice is seldom cheap.

[@SkepticalChris]

I don't know why, but am I the only one who is particularly impressed when non-ferengi quote the rules like Sisko and Dax?

[@nicholasregan6526]

Not to mention Worf, of all people? Lol

[@juandiegosapotec]

Skeptical Chris Rule 74 :)

[@gamesmaster35v2]

+nicholas regan I know if any rule he would have quoted I would have expected it to be like Rule of Acquisition 282 : Business is like war; It's important to recognize the winner or something like that but not the exploitation of family one.

[@achgen]

+Skeptical Chris suspension of disbelief :P it's a show haha

[@Vertabraker101]

+Skeptical Chris Yea!! Especially because there 285 of them. Thats allot to know about one particular species culture, given how many alien cultures there are in the ST universe.

[@dragonstryk7280]

You forgot the final one, from Voyager. The unofficial rule: When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.

[@blkbrdmntrvimes6438]

Voyager had 2 The unofficial you mentioned and 299. After you've exploited someone be sure to thank them, ot makes them easier to exploit next time .

[@JayJayM57]

@@blkbrdmntrvimes6438 there are only 285 rules

[@liamwhite3522]

@@JayJayM57 Read the unofficial rule one more time.

[@Sonjaslostson]

Never thought any race could turn Capitalism into a religion.

[@timothycarney9652]

It is basically the financial art of war, for a species that favors merchantile pursuits over martial ones, but to be fair, when confucianism was popular in the east beuracracy practically became a religion at certain times and places- like Korea right before the japanese invasion. Though that example was fare less successful then the Ferengi

[@RobinTheBot]

Humans did.

[@crasher925]

Thelondonbadger bourgeois group*

[@KitKatHexe]

1 word... Corpus

[@skeley1546]

Hey, Crasher. We are on MPU together.

[@Chirpysemperboy]

I feel like "A fool and his money are easily parted" is somewhere in the Rules of Acquisition

[@simplyincorrigible7708]

That's probably rule #2

[@ariajohnson8107]

Rule of Acquisition #113: A Fool is easily relieved of his money, especially when he thinks it's his own idea.

[@scottwilliams846]

Yeah, that seems about right.

[@LordNumbnutsthe1st]

This one comes close, I think: Number 111: Treat people in your debt like family - EXPLOIT them!

[@andreasmichel864]

RoA #229 Latinum lasts longer than lust

[@personmcperson4440]

"There is no such rule" "There SHOULD BE" May the God of Capitalism bless that big eared conniving bastard.

[@alm2187]

Can't resist mentioning... Morn is an anagram for Norm from Cheers! ;-)

[@TheNN]

# 190, "Hear all, trust nothing" is my personal favorite.

[@scar445]

mine is number 47: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

[@josearias493]

Russians have this rule.. truts but always confirm

[@areszeuszoon4212]

The Nothing Nobody mine is 48: the larger the smile the sharper the knife

[@ThePathStrider]

Mine too.

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Which means you can't trust the rules of acquisition either

[@nuadathesilverhand3563]

76 is my favorite, sounds like something sun tzu would say -"Every once in a while, declare peace -It confuses the hell out of your enemies."

[@cammameil]

This show came out just as I was graduating high school and heading out into the world to make my way in it. The 109th rule has always stuck with me as being the most resonant. "Dignity and an empty sack are worth the empty sack." I love the double meaning implied by that statement. If you want to be rich, you will have to do some things you may not be morally prepared to do, if you enjoy having your dignity, you must also endure the hardships of being poor, but if your dignity means that much to you, no one is going to stop you from being poor. It is an interesting way of framing the problem as a double entendre.

[@HerrAndrusz]

cammameil That's actually quite insightful. I can totally relate to that rule.

[@Banzay27]

"Dignity in an empty sack is worth the sack; rule of acquisition #109." *

[@nicosmind3]

cammameil "if you want to be rich, you may have to do some things you may not be morally prepared to do" That seems like a bit of a negative way to take the rule. To me it just sounds like "its better to work at a crappy job and have a full belly, than be too proud and have nothing" If youre handing out leaflets on the street, babysitting some youngsters, washing dishes or doing any job which may cause embarassment, then you should not worry. Youre doing what you must do to survive. Dignity and pride can cause you more harm than its worth.

[@cammameil]

nicosmind3 As I said, there are many ways to interpret the rules.

[@frostythechimneysweep1171]

Of course you may end up losing your dignity and get nothing for it - or miss out a chance of accepting a profitable and dignified job because you already took the undignified one. In fact, you may even lose your empty sack....

[@daemonburns-waight2421]

76: "Every once in a while, declare peace.." "..It confuses the hell out of your enemies."

[@thepartydontstoptilliwalkin]

Number 299. "After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time." - Neelix (False Profits)

[@31Mike]

You're missing Rule #299 from Voyager. "Rule of Acquisition 299; After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time."

[@ShrekWallBee]

that would come under the unwritten rule "When no rule applys make on up"

[@MrAlexandersaurus]

Rule of Acquisition 300; Neelix is a garbage character and how dare he try to appropriate Ferengi culture.

[@seankelly6200]

31Mike no, that’s in there.

[@ireneparkin3360]

In the description, the uploader states that Neelix made it up himself.

[@Organous]

It could've easily been included here regardless, along with Kol's point that it's not among the known rules.

[@hermaeusmora345]

Originally I thought the ferengi made these rules up as they went along. just to sweeten their sales pitch. however after binge watching TNG, DS9, and Enterprise... I see I was mistaken.

[@weezact7]

No, the Ferengi didn't make them up as they went along. That was the writers.

[@Shard18]

they were in a later episode of Voyager to

[@bryanskscion2229]

I take it that they don't quote rules of acquisition word for word but just say the general meaning.

[@victorselve8349]

You aren't completely wrong, a ferengi would absolutely make up a rule to sweeten a deal or try to strengthen his argument. After all the unwritten rule states: _When no appropriate rule applies, make one up._

[@Emanuela9]

@@Shard18 I remember that episode of Voyager.

[@firehawk0]

there is something about the word "acquisition" that is just so appealing, maybe its the way it rolls off the tongue

[@livedandletdie]

Very appealing indeed. I met a Ferengi once who said, Acquisition is such a good word that if it were able to be sold he'd at least sell it for his own weight in Latinum.

[@jakep1979]

Nathan Rounkles the Ferengie word should really be " Profiteering" but it's a such an ugly word it would scare away potential customers lol

[@dkupke]

Maybe. But "lust" can be a lot more fun.

[@joermnyc]

208, "sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer." The Negus then went on to invent the game show "Jeopardy!"

[@ryan4327]

There is a lot more wisdom and depth to the Rules of Acquisition than might be granted. That is why they are taught in the Federation Academy, as explained by Worf.

[@RJSRdg]

It also helps in dealing with Ferengi, to know how they operate.

[@sebas8225]

This showcases how the Ferengi are a alien species you cant deal with, without bringing up the Rules of Acquisition against them as a argument

[@yagsyags5694]

Despite Worf's comment, he didn't learn the rules at the Academy. He was already a lieutenant on the Enterprise when the Federation made face to face contact with the Ferengi for the first time, so Starfleet didn't know much about their culture at the time. More likely, Worf learning their rules was more of a Klingon "know your enemy" type of thing.

[@scl9671]

Rule of aquisition #286: When Morn leaves its all over.

[@DeamonMaim]

best reoccurring character

[@elishaandrewraley3318]

"recurring"

[@DeamonMaim]

Elisha Andrew Raley shhhhhhh shut the fuck up

[@elishaandrewraley3318]

No.

[@Troubleshooter125]

Morn could have had the last word ... but he never did! [grin!]

[@papahuge]

The unwritten rule - When no appropriate rule applies, make one up!

[@Chirpysemperboy]

And also "forget all Rules when appropriate"

[@commandercaptain4664]

Rule of Acqusition #223: Please, I haven't heard a Rule of Acquisition in seven years, and I don't want to hear one now! How did she know that rule? The irony.

[@NearlyH3adlessNick]

Why do you think there's gaps?? It's so people can improvise during negotiations!

[@WisamSafi1978]

And now you’ve written it... way to go for blowing our cover... you useless tiny eared fool!!

[@Damar158]

I find it amusing even Starfleet officers like Sisko and Worf know every rule

[@lawaern3474]

Starfleet officers need to know lots of things. Knowledge of Ferengi philosophy is useful in many situations, especially when ferangi are involved. But you are right, it's still amusing.

[@jackalope2302]

I you had to live with Quark it'd be handy to read them all once in the while.

[@parkinsaw]

Sisko not really seems like something he was warned about before taking up DS9 post. Worf though that was out of left field. But I guess learning about jadzias friends (Quark) was required.

[@terraclaiborne2088]

LOL! I'd say that with the Ferengi around, it's a downright necessity!

[@rbbecker73]

Not that surprising from Sisko. Given all the Ferengi living and working on DS9, and the fact that he met the Grand Nagus several times, he's definitely the type who would go out of his way to learn their culture. And Worf was actually a member of the Starfleet away team that made first contact with the Ferengi, early in season 1 of TNG. He then dealt with them on several more occasions before his assignment to DS9. It's not a surprise that he'd make a point of studying his enemies.

[@AGO339]

not exact quotes "what are you willing to do for peace" "anything it takes" "thats where you're going wrong, you have weapons, they have weapons, neither side is sure who will win, peace is as cheap as it can get right now!"

[@rgfs8881]

"That's the exact type of irresponsible expending that lead to so many failed business attempts."

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

Leave it to a Businessman who runs a bar on a Space Station to tell a Vulkan how to negotiate.

[@Cattactular]

I was hoping rule 34 would be, "if it exists there is profit to be made off it"

[@thevisionary2007]

Rule of acquisitions #34: if it exists, manufacture and distribute pornographic holograms about it!

[@who-ny5oe]

Porn and henti is very profitable.

[@SaltpeterTaffy]

I love how the 33rd rule seems to exist only to provide humor. Instead of seeing it as the Ferengi being written as comic relief, I see it as if humor is a fundamental aspect of Ferengi spirituality.

[@kingofsting19]

The best part about Rule 31 is that it's immediately followed up by Rule 32 (as stated in the video game Elite Force 2) "Insult something he cares about"

[@captain_hat6247]

I would've loved to have been in the writer's room when Gene Roddenberry pitched the concept of the Ferengi. GR: "...and they have ridiculously beady eyes, big ears, sharp teeth, and big noses." Other writers: "Okay that covers physical appearance. What about their culture/personality-" GR: "They LOVE profit! They're the polar opposite of the Federation so they're greedy." Other writers: "Interesting that sounds pretty straightforward so anyway- GR: "Yes, greedy like the filthy CAPITALISTS they are!" Other writers: "Ah (oh boy again with this)...I think we got the picture, Gene- GR: "And and since they're capitalists that means they're MISOGYNISTS too!" Other writers: *whispers to each other* "What does that have to do with-never mind. Okay Gene we get it- GR: "WAIT and they skulk around eating bugs like the animals they are! Beady-eyed filthy capitalist tricksters- Other writers: THANK YOU, Gene.

[@deez26788]

That should be a college humor sketch lol

[@essaboselin5252]

What's funny is when Roddenberry originally pitched the Ferengi, he was obsessed with their penises. He described them as walking tripods, went into detail on how they would have sex, etc., until someone reminded him this was a family show in syndication, not a porn movie.

[@thevisionary2007]

And then he made millions.

[@astarteswillum5259]

@@essaboselin5252 I think he was trying to tell us something there. I don't think I want to know what, though.

[@ariadnefrolich7243]

@Essa Boselin I must admit I am morbidly curious by this.

[@smnoy23]

I’ve always believed that there’s an unwritten rule of sorts that says “when dealing with non-Ferengi, feel free to make up your own rules”

[@Caldoric]

"When no appropriate rule applies, make one up" is the actual phrasing.

[@RenjiAbarai777]

I love the 76th rule of Acquistion "Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies."

[@Mellowcanuck33]

I like 168 "Whisper your way to success." Seems so...Ferengi.

[@jkm7983]

What does that mean

[@TheN9nth]

@@jkm7983 It means climb the ladder of success, but do it quietly.

[@Emanuela9]

Not the lobes, not the lobes!

[@Mellowcanuck33]

@@jkm7983 Sometimes it isn't best to be The King.

[@garethwilkin5565]

Rule of acquisition 34 War is good for business rule 35 Peace is good for business, they're easy to get mixed up.

[@ShrekWallBee]

What Happened To Rules 2,4,5,8,11 to 15,19,,20,24 to 30,32,36 to 46,49(*) to 56,58,60,61,63 to 73,77 to 93,96,97,99 to 101,104 to 108,110,113 to 124,126 to 138,140 to 167,169 to 189,191 to 193,195 to 202,204 to 207,209,210,212,213,25,216,218 to 224,225 to 228,230 to 238,240 to 262,284 ? *Everything is worth something to somebody

[@NefariousVirtuoso88]

+FATBRUCELOL APPLEBEE you deserve a thumb up for that comment

[@Archetype000]

+FATBRUCELOL APPLEBEE Only doing this because I [somehow] found a paperback copy from 1995. Well, that, and all hail Quark. #8, Small print leads to large risk. #13, Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. #19, Satisfaction is not guaranteed. #27, There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. #40, She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum. #41, Profit is its own reward. #44, Never confuse wisdom with luck. #52, Never ask when you can take. #58, There is no substitute for success. #60, Keep your lies consistent. #65, Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff. #79, Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. #82, The flimsier the product, the higher the price. #85, Never let the competition know what you're thinking. #89, Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. #97, Enough.....is never enough. #99, Trust is the biggest liability of all. #104, Faith moves mountains...of inventory. #106, There is no honor in poverty. #113, Always have sex with the boss. #117, You can't free a fish from water. #121, Everything is for sale, even friendship. #123, Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. #141, Only fools pay retail. #144, There's nothing wrong with charity......as long as it ends up in YOUR pocket. #162, Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. #177, Know your enemies.....but do business with them always. #181, Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. #189, Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. #192, Never cheat a Klingon......unless you're sure you can get away with it. #202, The justification for profit is profit. #218, Always know what you're buying. #223 [The crossed-out one], Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. #236, You can't buy fate. #242, More is good......all is better. #255, A wife is a luxury....a smart accountant a necessity. #261, A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. #266, When in doubt, lie. #284, Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.

[@Archetype000]

Meh, it's all good. Damn Ferengi have to make everything so complicated, I just blame them

[@DeltaDestiny]

+FATBRUCELOL APPLEBEE Never be afraid to mislabel your product!

[@Archetype000]

Also, #19 :D. Memory Beta has more, I'm not posting all that madness here, because of Rule #280

[@cunningsmile4166]

Rule 287: When your customers are your friends, everybody profits

[@Taylor_Wolfe115]

I love rule 47: "dont trust anyman with a better suit then you're own"

[@SkepticalSocialist]

The "Anarcho"-Capitalists of the Stars

[@JH-xg1fh]

Snails40 selling poison to kids is ok! Just boycott the bad scam artist, that always works! /s

[@thewildcardperson]

Joe Howard hey it’s not like they aren’t already selling poison

[@TimDimNuderu]

"Gas the neighborhood so you can sell gas masks at a 400% markup" 96th rule of acquisition

[@forlorndream1400]

Rule 285 is the best for me. No good deed ever goes unpunished. Ever.

[@user-roninwolf1981]

This is one of the reasons why I nerd hard on Trek. I get a kick out of the Rules of Acquisition.

[@shanweeboy]

Nobody would listen to them if they were called "The Suggestions of Acquisition"!

[@CCJJ160Channels]

4:33 - Rule 190 is a personal favorite.

[@alpha3305]

My favorite: Rule#190 "Hear all, trust nothing".

[@GUMMRUCHK]

If there isn't there should be a real book we can read I want to know every single hilarious rule

[@hellvjumper]

www.amazon.co.uk/Ferengi-Rules-Acquisition-Star-Space/dp/0671529366

[@GUMMRUCHK]

Jon Shackell I was hoping someone would show me a link lol

[@Calimbandil87]

Oh, that one. I own it. Got it for birthday present a while ago. Not sure why, someone is probably trying to tell me something.

[@hellvjumper]

Calimbandil87 It was worth buying just to read about Quark's rules of acquisition the movie.

[@Gasoline85]

I think alot of online sellers live by these rules.

[@spasjt]

Really nice compilation. Must have taken you awhile to scan each episode to find them. Thanks for the upload.

[@fellowperson6406]

Quark is probably my FAVORITE character of deep space nine.

[@christianmccann9400]

And Q

[@Bormannator]

Recent ones from lower decks #8 "Small print leads to large risk." #91 "Your boss is only worth what he pays you." #289 "Shoot first count profits later "

[@tomatodamashi]

Any Star Trek post Enterprise/Nemesis is non-canon in my book. Maybe Season 3 of Picard but that's it. Kurtzman fan fiction

[@michaelmitchell338]

Rule of Acquisition #69: Always be wary when it is too easy to exploit someone. They may be exploiting you surreptitiously at the same time.

[@WorthlessDeadEnd]

It's like memorizing Bible verses.

[@Lupinthe3rd.]

+WorthlessDeadEnd except useful

[@altha2008]

Will not waste my time with the Quran... I do study Nostradamus

[@MichaelDerryGameitect]

The bible has 31,173 verses and plenty of devout Christians easily memorize hundreds of them. You'd think the Ferengi would have no trouble remembering the totality of less than 300 very short verses, given the central role it seems to play in their daily lives. You could probably read The Rules of Acquisition cover to cover every morning in 15-20 minutes. They should all be able to cite numbered verses to each other without quoting, practically talking in code.

[@longlostwraith5106]

+Michael Derry True but that would be bad for us viewers.

[@MichaelDerryGameitect]

WorthlessDeadEnd True enough. The viewer needs things spelled out. Then again, with the universal translator, there aren't many language barrier moments. Besides, it would be more like talking in code to each other. It could still be explained, on occasion, when two Ferengi are talking and whenever a Ferengi is talking to someone else and 'forgets' that not everyone knows all the rules.

[@josephschultz3301]

The fact that Quark still had moral scruples, even while being a Ferengi businessman, really made for a fascinating character. Episodes of DS9 that focused on him were always fun.

[@AtmonTheExectioner]

I am sure the actor would appreciate that. Originally he was only contracted to 3 episodes with more on the table if his character proved popular. He was a huge Trek fan since childhood and really didn't want to screw up. He remembered what Data's actor had once said "I wanted to take a character that was written mundane and turn them into something with serious potential." He applied that to Quark.

[@personmcperson4440]

"There is no such rule" "There SHOULD BE" Bless the Ferengi.

[@BastardOfTheNorth]

When no suitable rule exists,create one

[@BuildingCenter]

This is beautiful, and necessary. Thanks so much for putting this together. RIP Nog. Best character arc in the Star Trek Universe (I'm reminding everyone who might listen. Aron Eisenberg gave us a brilliant, yearslong performance that embodied the best of Star Trek. I'm grateful for him, and the writers.).

[@alphaphotoandvideo]

I think I was a ferengi my past lifetime

[@delluminatis]

+alphaphotoandvideo were you somewhere on Earth in 20th century? because you might have been Quark

[@ElizondoAbelardo]

Or your future one lol

[@thedarkmaster4747]

LMAO!!!

[@msbcheet6041]

I thought the same thing about myself.

[@cerebral3591]

I have a joke, but it's not politically correct....

[@bemasaberwyn55]

I love that Worf knows the rules

[@vollelektrolysierer5773]

He is a graduate of Starfleet Academy. He knows many things.

[@rbbecker73]

He was also there for Starfleet's first contact with the Ferengi, way back in one of the first episodes of Next Gen. He's definitely the type to study his enemies, to know their strengths and weaknesses when dealing with them.

[@PaulXPZ]

@@rbbecker73 Weren't there Ferengi in an episode of Enterprise? Since it's a prequel that would technically make that first contact, although technically Starfleet didn't exist yet.

[@anonymousone2843]

Worf is definitely one of my favorite characters. The writers and the actor himself really developed and matured the character concept throughout the deifferent series.

[@-..-_-..-]

@@PaulXPZ they also never use the word ferengi and nobody knows who they are

[@RothAnim]

"Oh right, what's the 34th rule?" "Porn. No Exceptions."

[@bobingabout]

That's good, but it's from a different rule book.

[@livedandletdie]

That's not a Ferengi rules of Acquisition.

[@RothAnim]

Yes, I know. That's just where my brain goes when she asks that line.

[@ManintheArmor]

I bet it must be, "If it exists, there's demand for it."

[@altha2008]

That is the 35th rule, The 34 rule is Peace is good for business, people get them mixed up

[@cloudedjourney]

The Ferengi were the best part of DS9. I think I cried when Nog got support from his dad to goto starfleet academy.

[@thesurvivorssanctuary6561]

Rule 79: "Don't let compassion get in the way of good business." Rule 262: "There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman."

[@MaximumStrategy]

I mean, say what you want about the rules of acquisition, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

[@marscaleb]

I love the fact that "expand or die" is the rule so important it is mentioned twice.

[@Deadpool_64]

Funny how that cute Bajoran girl Varis was actually 23 playing a 15 year old character, and Nog was 24 playing a teen character. Jake was the only real life teen out of them.

[@barbedwings]

Interesting, would not have guessed that, she looked amazingly young for a 23 year old.

[@altha2008]

Well they do age different.. look at Worf Son Alexandra. He was Born I believe the 2nd Season of STNG. By the 7 Season of DS9 5 years later he was an adult. Bajoran age fast as well .

[@Deadpool_64]

altha2008 Well that's because they kept aging Alexander to fit stories. I don't think Klingons age any faster than humans. It's common practice for adults to play teens, because they aren't inhibited by child labor laws, and are generally easier to work with.

[@Deadpool_64]

altha2008 Also, Alexander was about 12/13 in season 7 of TNG, not an adult. But again, the writers decided to age him up to fit the story better. It used to happen in sitcoms a lot too.

[@Janoha17]

@@Deadpool_64 Discovery at least used time manipulation for aging up a character for their second appearance.

[@seand.g423]

"Any gift of Gold-pressed latinum is worth the 'gold'" Recovered early draft of #109

[@darthnegativehunter8659]

every once in a while, make peace to confuse enemies ! this is my favorite

[@rushnerd]

I love rule 34

[@christoffelmiddel6663]

+Ｒｕｓｈｎｅｒｄ what about rule number 35?

[@johnnylb]

+Judge Dredd Its easy to mix the 2 up

[@HamanKarn567]

+Ｒｕｓｈｎｅｒｄ I see what you did there.

[@christoffelmiddel6663]

Haman Karn Rule 34: All fantasy women ever created in sex form. Rule 34: War is good for business.

[@AndyHoward]

If it exists there is porn of it

[@CenobiteBeldar]

I should seriously remember these by heart and use them against people....

[@288theabe]

I've forgotten how awesome Quark was to watch. Loved the Ferengi-centric episodes, especially the one where they were trying to rescue Moogie from the Dominion. lol

[@AtlasBlizzard]

I love how the Rules of Acquisition are common knowledge in the Federation, not just to the Ferengi. Sisko and even Worf have been known to quote it.

[@weezact7]

Isn't 256: "Deep down inside, everyone is a Ferengi"?

[@IAMANTWI]

Use this rule to counter rule 17!

[@themoagoddess1820]

@@IAMANTWI but not rule 18!

[@SKINWALKER]

Was JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER a ferengi?

[@qwsecrfvevrfvfr111]

no, but the rober barons inspired tehm

[@Scyllax]

No, a robber baron, a human with the business acumen of an Orion, and the ethics of a Gorn.

[@nk_3332]

Of course, e.g. he saved more whales than Greenpeace: by selling consumers his kerosene below the market price of whale oil for their lamps.

[@granddukeofmecklenburg]

@@nk_3332 he also crushed opposition, ruined the free market, by making it authoritarian under the rule of monopolies, and held most of entire generations way below the poverty line, by controlling almost all there employment options, along with carnegie, Morgan, and the other Authoritarian dictators of the totally "Free" market

[@Paelorian]

@@granddukeofmecklenburg Henry Ford had his flaws, but he's also arguably the single most responsible man for raising modern labour standards, to include such contemporary mainstays as the five-day work week. He treated his employees very well by the standards of the time, better than he had to. It actually paid off by making his employees more competitive and productive since workers really valued those jobs and worked hard to earn and keep them. It's also hard to deny that some extremely wealthy philanthropists have allocated their fortunes to more socially productive ventures than it would have gone to if it had been absorbed by the government as taxes. Plus it's a way that some projects governments won't go for get funded. Bill Gates got rich being somewhat ruthless, sure, but ultimately it was because he popularized personal computing. That was an incredible social benefit he provided, and his exceptional compensation seems fair to me. And then he's spent or agreed to spend most of the fortune he's earned on mostly beneficial and important philanthropic initiatives that no government was willing to fund. There's nothing inherently wrong with the concept of getting rich by providing people with a valuable service that improves their lives for a price they are glad to pay. There's a social benefit there, and usually another social benefit on the back end returning the money if someone become a billionaire, because then they have more money then they can spend on themselves and they usually decide to donate most of their money to change the world. Usually, but not always, for the better. They most often choose non-political uncontroversial causes, like improving and making more available education and preventing and curing disease.

[@Entias]

No one: Ferengi: mUsT i QuOtE tHe RuLeS oF aCqUiSiTiOn

[@OokamiKageGinGetsu]

"Rule of Acquisition 286: When Morn leaves, it's all over." *The Unwritten Rule* If no rule exists, make one up.

[@blackheart2728]

But that rule does exist. It's #57! "Good customers are as rare a latinum, treasure them"

[@Eyewarp]

That title + the description warrant a like by themselves. And the fact that you were willing to sit through all those Ferengi episodes to put this together? Wish I could like it twice.

[@Randomdudefromtheinternet]

I wonder if this rules have ever been mentioned during a business related class.

[@mkjirak]

Yep, I did this during my MBA. I even referred to my economics course as "Ferengi religious education."

[@Spystreak]

Rockefeller's intergalactic ancestors

[@MegaGeorge1948]

The Ferengi "Rules of Acquisition" are like China's world "Belt and Road" initiative.

[@minecat1839]

They got a new one in the newest Lower Decks episode: 8: Small print leads to large risk

[@capcrunch7838]

I started my own business and I am following the rules of acquisition 😀

[@joimumu]

cap crunch it’s less a rules and more of a warning, if you know the rules then you’re less likely to be screwed over :)

[@cunningsmile4166]

To quote Jack Sparrow. There more like guidelines

[@cunningsmile4166]

Hey cappy! How's business?

[@KvnDWr]

1:47 put a smile on my face... I love Quark!

[@RXdash78]

If never keep profit, a good smile honesty.

[@BeauDaltonJordan]

+shevegen Actually, it's from an episode of ds9. can't remember which one offhand, but basically the grand Magus wrote a new set of rules of acquisition that were all sappy and generous. Quark and Rom thought it was a code and tried reading from the first word on each page. who has two thumbs and an encyclopedic knowledge of useless information? >this guy

[@draco949]

Prophet Motive. S3 Ep16

[@BeauDaltonJordan]

+beau jordan *nagus

[@omikronweapon]

One of my all time favorite Quark moments. Licking the book excitedly then brushing it off as no big deal :P Never fails to crack me up.

[@LCTesla]

laughed out loud irl at "every once in a while declare peace, it confuses the hell out of your enemies."

[@vulcranstorm5609]

Rule of acquisitions 75 is my favorite, home is where the heart is but the stars are made of latnum

[@sim.frischh9781]

That line about confusing the 34th and 35th rule is just PERFECT. Shimerman made Quark such a perfect character.

[@butterflysnme724]

The Grand Nagus sure has some hairy lobes.