Mark Simmons: Quip Off The Mark | Full Comedy Special

Thanks so much for watching my first stand-up comedy special. If you enjoyed it please do me a massive favour and like, comment & share.
I loved touring 'Quip Off The Mark' around the world and chuffed everyone can now see it here for free. This show is for people who love jokes, one-liners, word-play, puns and good old fashioned switcheroos. There are also some of my trademark improvised gags on random topics and a couple of heckle put-downs too.
Come see my new “Jest To Impress” Tour on sale from 31/01/25 here: www.marksimmons.co.uk/live-dates/
Follow Mark Simmons…
Instagram: jokeswithmark
Facebook: jokeswithmark
Tiktok: www.tiktok.com/jokeswithmarksimmons
Filmed at The Forge, Brighton.
Editor - Charlie Milner.
Director Of Photography - Yannick Hausler

[@nigelrushby9839]

Mark has a really unique low energy style and it works well because the crowd warm to the understated jokes where even if it misses it hits. He doesn't leave his audience behind, he picks them up and carries them with him throughout the set. A master of his art, impossible not to love him.

[@MarkSimmons]

@@nigelrushby9839 thanks for taking the time to comment Nigel, glad you enjoyed it 🙏

[@Rhythm24inch]

You do know he's here don't you 😂

[@babyfishmouth]

Best bit of British stand up I've seen in ages 10/10 Look forward to seeing more

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks so much, come see my new tour show here marksimmons.co.uk/live-dates/

[@mickyovy2633]

Never heard of him.... BLOODY BRILLIANT !!!! Absolute genius - 👏👏👏

[@MarkSimmons]

Love to hear that, give me a follow, lots of clips coming your way 🙏

[@JackRhodes]

Pure class from start to finish 👏

[@MarkSimmons]

Cheers Jack, come see me in tour

[@sKitZoBonKa]

Never felt so relived 😂

[@sandravalence9328]

Why am I only just discovering Mark?? He’s absolutely hilarious! So funny and very clever, brilliant delivery. I will be looking out for him from now on.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks so much for watching, my new tour has just gone on sale marksimmons.co.uk/live-dates/

[@gibboman]

Loved this. Very funny but also a lot of thought went into the whole show, you showed real respect for the audience's time. And your ability to linger in the awkward moments / pauses was quality. First class Mark! Thankyou 😊

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much, they are my favourite bits actually 👌

[@ElizabethHAGERTY-j4u]

Brilliant show and absolutely loved seeing you live too.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks Elizabeth, and thanks for coming, my new tour is now on sale here: www.marksimmons.co.uk

[@knickerlover1974]

That was brilliant. These days it's almost impossible to make me laugh, but this guy has me in stitches.

[@MarkSimmons]

Love that, thanks so much for watching

[@crumdog]

Always Be Comedy podcast brought me here & I’m all for it! Superb gig 🏆🏆🏆

[@JaywalkingEZ]

Seen loads of shorts from you so its nice to see a special from you. Did not dissapoint. 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks so much Jay, come see the next tour live, on sale Friday 🙌

[@MrTrig84]

@@MarkSimmonshow much are they on Thursday 😂😂

[@Rhythm24inch]

That round of applause was roughly deserved, genuinely bloody brilliant! Funniest bloke I've seen in a good while, possible genius to some of the thinkers definitely, I'm going to be fishing some of these out as a pass it on thing, there you go, inspiring! Clap clap clap claping

[@daveunderwood7669]

I showed this in an old people's home. They all pissed themselves.

[@MarkSimmons]

Classic 👌

[@bkinsey69]

Phenomenal!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks for watching 🙏

[@andy2950]

I love his sense of relief after every joke.😅

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks goodness they worked

[@joerogers1417]

So happy you’ve released this on KZbin, love your clips, long form even better!

[@MarkSimmons]

Glad you like it, come see the next tour, on sale Friday

[@NathCarp]

Loved this when I saw it live!! Even got to meet the man himself afterwards!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@NathCarp pleasure meeting you 👌

[@BLew657]

Stumbled upon this tonight. First time hearing and I'm in tears. Hilarious. Very original jokes. I like to change my password from time to time 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

That’s what I like to hear, glad you enjoyed it 🙏🙏

[@Billydraw101]

Brilliant!🎉 I’m watching this again and again! I love one liners and this is up there with the best.

[@MarkSimmons]

That’s the Spirit Billy

[@openmike239]

Great special. Loved it all - nice one!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks for watching 🙏

[@RailingMedia]

It's the pace of his delivery I love (I love the jokes more). You're trying to figure out where he goes but he's just that bit faster that you get to feel surprised and amused. Great special, you deserve a great deal of fame (would have been perfect for MtW)! Love from Australia.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much, I actually did a couple of episodes of MTW before it was cancelled (I don’t think it was my fault) I’ve actually got a video on hear of my highlights on it

[@s73vey]

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT ❤

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much for watching ❤️

[@mantanna2]

The first time seeing Mark. Such original and well crafted jokes, and his delivery is magic. Laughed all the way. Well done sir! Will look out for more from him. Just brilliant.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much, you can join my mailing list here so you don’t miss any live shows coming through www.marksimmons.co.uk

[@parkhilton]

So good Mark thanks a lot

[@MarkSimmons]

No thankYOU for watching 🙏

[@badgoat666]

So many brilliant jokes, delivered impeccably 😂 thanks for the laughs!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks mate. Spread the word 🤘

[@badgoat666]

@MarkSimmons yes sir. Shared with about a dozen people. 👌 told them it's ed sheeran unplugged.

[@leicestervintagetoyshop]

As ever a superb and well crafted set. So many favourites in this lot 😂😂

[@MarkSimmons]

🙏🙏🙏

[@JacobEdgington124]

I'm glad I finally got to see a full set from you, Mark, as it was utterly hilarious! Thank you for uploading this :'D

[@MarkSimmons]

You’re welcome, come see the next tour, it’s now on sale here www.marksimmons.co.uk

[@Dazzzzzzzzzzzzz]

Wow this brighten up my day

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks great to hear, thanks for commenting 🙏

[@jenn6341]

11/10, absolutely brilliant! Can't wait to catch your next tour.

[@MarkSimmons]

Too kind, thanks for watching

[@eclecticjon1019]

Never seen you before but had me laughing all the way through 🔥🔥🔥

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏🙏

[@stewarthodgins6020]

About time this was released, saw the tour couple o years back. A cracking set, one of the best at what he does. The anticipation of the punchlines are brilliant. 👏

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks Stewart, new Tour coming soon

[@opalbeetle1981]

Love the little chuckle after each joke! We saw this at Slough, was such a brilliant show❤😂

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks for coming and for watching again here 👌

[@BryanCooperOfficial]

This kind of comedy is right up my street. My hobbies are songwriting and candle-making. My friends wax lyrical about them. Am I doing that right? No. Fine.

[@MarkSimmons]

Great work Bryan 😂

[@MaxMalenko]

​@@MarkSimmonsI don't get it

[@djsteveadams]

So pleased you uploaded this. Saw you live in Canterbury Kent and was in stitches and great to be able to watch the show again. Thanks, can't wait for your new tour, look forward to it...

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏

[@videomyrace]

love this. Listen to the jokes with Mark podcast and its always a pleasure when he comes to the Crawley Comedy Club.

[@MarkSimmons]

Love that club! Thanks for watching

[@ajt22]

I saw this show live in Edinburgh, and I'm so glad I can see it again! So funny and so clever.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks for coming to that show, new tour coming soon, will be back up to Scotland on a Scottish leg

[@yorkshireroy]

Absolutely superb! Very clever writing and so funny! 👏👏😂 Looking forward to seeing you live

[@MarkSimmons]

@@yorkshireroy thanks very much, my new tour goes on general sale Friday, pre sale tomorrow to anyone on my mailing list 👌

[@rbmcomedy3040]

Looking forward to this!

[@on3_z3r09]

Love it

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks 🙏

[@pm12321]

Very funny set! I've subscribed and added you to my list of favorite stand-up comedians 😀👌👍👏

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks brilliant 🙏 Who else is on the list?

[@ianwhatmore3184]

You were recommended to me by a friend. Loved every minute and cant wait to see you live. Great work. Oh wait........now I've lost my place in my book, Mark 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

That’s brilliant, word of mouth is the best 👌

[@danielbuttery7073]

Omg this made my day watching this , was at work and I repeated your jokes to my colleagues they all laughed it’s brightened the day up 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

Amazing, tell them all to watch 🙏

[@ActuarialTutor]

After seeing this live with my wife, it was lovely to relive these jokes together. Though why this is not monetised or on Amazon pay to view beats me. You're a funny man, let us support you. :D

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much, I just want as many people to be able to se with as possible. Maybe I’ll add a link in the description

[@sallycanwait22x]

Love this. ❤

[@MarkSimmons]

@@sallycanwait22x thanks Sally ❤️

[@angusmctwangstick4079]

Bloody brilliant. 👏👏👏

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks Angus, come see the new show marksimmons.co.uk/live-dates/

[@DjMessiahUK]

Just as good as when we saw you in Teignmouth, and great to get to hear all the jokes I'd forgotten again! Thanks, Ed!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@DjMessiahUK that’s good to hear, thanks for watching 🙏

[@ashfly]

Absolutely brilliant set.

[@MarkSimmons]

@@ashfly cheers 👌

[@matthewprice2667]

Has anyone else already watched this more than 3 times? It's so funny, I have to keep watching it. So pleased to see the 2026 tour go on sale, I'm so there.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks, glad you’re enjoying it

[@charliecoutts3003]

Bloody brilliant! End of 👍😁.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks so much 🙏

[@suta007]

Dude, first time seeing you and best laugh Ive had in ages - love your style!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏 Come see my new tour

[@Billythebudgie]

Absolutely fantastic!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@Billythebudgie glad you enjoyed it

[@matthewclarkson9829]

Brilliant, loved it!! 😂😂❤. Look forward to seeing you live again in the future 🎉

[@MarkSimmons]

@@matthewclarkson9829 thanks mate, I’ll be coming to Norwich with the next one 🙌

[@zantas-handle]

Wow. Masterful AND Original!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏

[@mattslade1633]

This was so funny. Love the puns love the pace love Ed Sheran!

[@MarkSimmons]

Perfect combo 💪

[@tonydavid3190]

Loved it on youtube, and also when we saw the show in Diss last November (also enjoyed Danny Ward as well, we still have our toast tongs!). Top man to chat too as we did after the show. Looking forward to Jest To Impress!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks Tony, cheers for watching

[@Channelnem]

All Simmonsed all after watching this yesterday, listening to the pod on my commute home and then ordering tickets for his new tour (407 days and counting)

[@MarkSimmons]

You’re the best 🙌

[@sKitZoBonKa]

Love the sap😂😂

[@MarkSimmons]

🙏

[@paulstewart8392]

Saw this show in Hemel Hempstead. This brings it all back as there’s so much top class comedy crammed in, its difficult to remember it all! Thank you for uploading. Looking forward to the next tour.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks for watching Paul 👌

[@tomproctor5075]

Haven't laughed so much in ages, great stuff

[@MarkSimmons]

@@tomproctor5075 thanks Tom 🙏

[@josh8455]

😂😂😂 class 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@MarkSimmons]

🙏🙏

[@eggbeatz]

Absolutely incredible

[@MarkSimmons]

@@eggbeatz that’s the spirit! Glad you enjoyed it

[@andrewglidden]

Absolutely brilliant, Mark! We saw this show in Edinburgh and it is just as funny seeing it again (and again!) No spoilers but loved the twist at the end! Favourite (amongst many belters) was “Asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go out for a meal tomorrow night…..” Genius!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much, glad you enjoyed in second time around

[@coisital]

Ah man, this is brilliant =) Watching for the second time, lovely stuff. Love your energy, your timing, the thinkers, really fresh, keep it up!!!

[@MarkSimmons]

You’re a star, spread the word 🙏

[@stevenwaite3158]

To be honest Mark. Never heard of you. Well I certainly have now! You're absolutely brilliant. Haven't laughed so much for ages.

[@MarkSimmons]

@@stevenwaite3158 thanks amazing to hear, thanks Steven, come see me live some time 👌

[@gordongrant894]

Loved that Thank you

[@MarkSimmons]

Glad you enjoyed it, come see the new tour

[@briansewart5885]

excelllent, loved this whole show!!!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks Brian, come see my new one marksimmons.co.uk/live-dates/

[@adambrown8195]

A true master

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks Adam 👌

[@neeridge]

Can't wait to see the repeat!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@neeridge on KZbin plus 1

[@StilettoGreenback]

🎳 Ten out of ten! Perfect strike!!!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏

[@StilettoGreenback]

@@MarkSimmons Some of my pins have gone - can’t go ten pin bowling with two pins, it ruins the setup! 🤣 Seriously mind, that was a masterclass in timing, audience engagement, originality and being funny as fuck! Bright things await you! Bravo sir!

[@highimiioan9194]

Brilliant Mark!

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks 🙏 🙏

[@Super-op9zp]

Fantastic!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@Super-op9zp 🙏🙏

[@YTeldar]

Never heard of Mark before but absolutely loved it, will definetly be telling friends to watch 👍

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks 🙏 Appreciate you spreading the word

[@artserverpimp]

Thank you for being amazing at your job. I think your material is unparalleled. No joking, am so excited to run into a new name and know immediately that i had a new fave. No one writes comedy as beautifully as you. Genius and hopefully responsible for creating many future sets as great as this one.. Shit, ure real good. Lets just say I wouldn't be surprised if you blow our minds by how ure always blowing through ur previous records, every special and no one else gets close when compared to this one.. Lol. Wordy, apologies. But thank you! Great special

[@MarkSimmons]

Too kind! Glad you enjoyed it

[@JohnKelly-w8g]

Very funny, thank you!! Hope to see you live sometime

[@MarkSimmons]

@@JohnKelly-w8g so glad you enjoyed it, my new tour goes on sale Friday, hopefully coming somewhere near you

[@iauk1122]

Yeah he was great live, looking forward to the new tour

[@MarkSimmons]

@@iauk1122 thanks 🙏 it goes on sale Friday, early bird available to my mailing list subscribers tomorrow

[@debrad400]

Saw you in Darlington and ended up in the front row. I absolutely bloody loved it. Got ribbed a couple of times as I was slow on the uptake lol. Thank you Mark you are a class act.

[@MarkSimmons]

It happen a lot don’t worry. Thanks for coming

[@jameswalker5945]

Great work Mark. Saw you live twice and very happy to have watched the show again.

[@MarkSimmons]

@@jameswalker5945 thanks James 🙏

[@thorpyyy]

You always inspired me to write. Brilliant special. Have this x I'm better at brail now that I've gotten a feel for it.

[@MarkSimmons]

That’s a touchy subject! Thanks for watching. Spread the word 🙏

[@tim73639]

I'd love to see the stats on how many of these jokes people rewind... I had to listen back to two. Very impressed at how much he gets through, and loved the good natured feel of it all.

[@MarkSimmons]

Cheers Tim, some people came to see the live shows twice for that reason 😂

[@johnkneelad]

That was brilliant Mark 🤣🤣🤣

[@MarkSimmons]

🙏🙏

[@jennybrocking]

Saw this in Exeter. Great show. Hope you come back again👍👍👍

[@MarkSimmons]

I’ll defo be back to Exeter on the next tour

[@cotty03]

I saw this tour live in Sheffield. Hilarious, one of the best I’ve seen.

[@MarkSimmons]

@@cotty03 thanks for coming and watching again

[@standupstuart]

Amazing! So well constructed! Looking forward to the next tour

[@MarkSimmons]

@@standupstuart thanks Stuart 🙏

[@maikharing4876]

Fantastic 😂😂

[@MarkSimmons]

@@maikharing4876 🙏🙏🙏

[@stevecrowley4566]

First saw you at a comedy event in Dereham in Norfolk and have been loving your act/pods ever since. Saw this tour a few times and looking forward to the next one.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks so much 🙏

[@samellam3956]

Didn't get chance to catch the tour when you came round so pleased that it's up here. Absolutely brilliant! Really enjoyed it! I'll be sure to make it to your next live show up here.

[@MarkSimmons]

@@samellam3956 thanks mate, where are you? Hopefully the new tour will come near by

[@samellam3956]

Manchester so I had more than one opportunity last time round just annoyingly couldn't get the dates to work. 100% will be at the next one.

[@matthewvalorsa3460]

The counterfeit money joke 😂👌

[@MarkSimmons]

🙏

[@cinemaspire7258]

At least we know you watched the first two minutes ;)

[@johngrant5749]

Excellent 👌 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

Glad you liked it

[@rob_isnt_funny]

I've been listening to the podcast from the first episode, and it's nice to see some jokes here that I remember you bringing up as work in progress on the pod.

[@MarkSimmons]

Amazing thanks for watching 🙏

[@johnnyrickard]

So good!!! 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

@@johnnyrickard thanks for watching buddy 🙏

[@johnnyrickard]

I mean, I’ve seen it twice already 🤷🏻‍♂️😂

[@MarkSimmons]

@@johnnyrickard that’s because you’re a damn legend

[@rainbowmam]

Looking forward to seeing you again!!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@rainbowmam thanks, new tour on sale Friday

[@FatRakoon]

I have seen small snippets of Mark in various KZbin Clips, but thius is the first time I have seen him in a full show... I have to be honest, but I have pissed myself and spat out some coffee and not had such a massive laugh for quite some time. Really funny stuff., Excellent.

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏 Come see the next tour

[@FatRakoon]

@@MarkSimmons You anywhere near North Wales? I have just subbed to the mailing list, so I bloody well hope so!

[@neave789]

😂😂😂 very funny a nice calm laid back delivery really works

[@MarkSimmons]

@@neave789 thanks very much, come see my next tour

[@VictoriaIzattLowry]

Saw you in Edinburgh, and been to see you every Fringe festival since! You are fab! 🎉

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much, see you again this year

[@richardmorgan793]

This is the first time I've have seen your comedy, this was very funny and written and performed to perfection 😂

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks so much, I post a lot of clips on here, give the channel a follow and you’ll see them when I post 🙏

[@ianwalmsley3296]

Yay! Booked tickets for the Lowry on the back of that.

[@MarkSimmons]

Love hearing that, goad you enjoyed it

[@natmeyy7590]

Great set

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much

[@moystickgg]

Great special, packed with jokes and puns, trimmed all the fat. Punch after punch. Brilliant

[@MarkSimmons]

Thanks very much 🙏 Tell your friend 😀

[@MarkSimmons]

That’s was meant to say friends but I’ve left it because it’s funnier lol

[@moystickgg]

@@MarkSimmons sounds like you know me well 😂

[@beesfoot]

Saw the show in Leicester Square a year or so ago , the twist at the end re his back blew my mind!!

[@MarkSimmons]

@@beesfoot thanks so much, glad it got you 😀

[@grahambretman4010]

So glad to see this video, I missed seeing the show and Selby

[@MarkSimmons]

You’re welcome, glad you like it

[@grahambretman4010]

@MarkSimmons Joined the mailing list so hoping I'll get tickets for the next time you're in North Yorkshire