My Family Wants Me To Reconcile With A Sister Who Tormented My Childhood r/Relationships

[@cynicalblossom3191]

You don't just live under the same roof and NOT notice years of physical abuse. I call bullshit on the mother.

[@nicksuazo4377]

She's in total DENIAL! She's trying to mend a bond between her daughters because she knows if OP leaves, M will continue to abuse them, and the parents will refuse to abuse for the sake of not being abusers. OP should run. Just RUN! I'd also tell her that maybe she should reconnect with her cousins family in PR because they must have known what was going on in the house. And after hearing more about the PR story, I would have figured they would have suggested OP would stay with them for. . . EVER.

[@forestcrow5491]

Literally. Especially since op mentioned her sister tried to drown her in ice water as a baby? Like there’s no way she remembered that, a parent must have told her, so why was that not enough to correct the behavior or seek help for their child??

[@karenrickert9430]

How the h*ll did the parents miss the cigarette burns when CPS was called? All the signs were there, Mom shielding OP from her sister, the list goes on! Mom seems like a gaslighter Extraordinaire.

[@katrinawendel2647]

There is absolutely no way the mother did not know OP was in danger and the abuse was very high. The mother was gaslighting OP to relieve herself of guilt and to make OP stick around out of a sense of duty. Poor OP, to make it through that he'll to realize your parent, who was supposed to love and protect you, would rather sacrifice you to a monster (sister). Dad is just as bad, being complacent (even if he was working 3 jobs), he knew something wasn't quite right. Heartbreaking story.

[@Iflie]

There is a huge number of parents who seem to have repressed any memories that make them feel guilty, the victim remembers but the perpetrators think they were great parents and why is kid so anxious and depressed? Must be something wrong with the kid....mom knew, dad knew too but they closed their eyes until they "forgot". While enabling the sister.

[@nmknomad]

OPs mom gaslighted tf out of her. What an awful woman. She is no better than her psychotic older daughter

[@user-blob]

Agree 100%. Vile people.

[@greenbeacon394]

The apple 🍏 didn’t fall far from the tree

[@daynechastant]

Mother: "What do you think of me while you were growing up?" OP: "AIDING AND ABETTING."

[@9lQF2r6m]

Psychotic older daughter must've got it from somewhere.

[@pastelroswell]

Please don't use the word "psychotic" out of context. It is a medical term that refers to those who suffer from hallucinations or delusions- that's what psychosis means. Think, schizophrenia. You're probably thinking of "psychopath", although I'd be careful using any disease as an insult towards someone, especially when the person is just straight up evil and there's no such thing as a disease that makes you evil, just ones that enable bad people to become worse people, such as addiction or clinical narcissism. That being said, she DOES sound like a psychopath. Not all of them are bad people, but the condition does impede their sense of morality and if a psychopath or sociopath is also a bad person, they'll be completely shameless and unabashed about it.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

Let's pretend for a moment that OP's mum didn't know about the physical abuse (she totally did). Mum still remembers OP having to endure increasing levels of poverty due to Marilyn's behaviour. Yet they still expect her to forgive even that?!

[@devegas4910]

Exactly. It’s been too much that Marilyn has done over the years to them for them to expect op to just forgive and move on

[@marshawargo7238]

They Knew‼️ Who pulled OP out of the freezing bath water? All of the screaming from both girls? Bruises? Cutting herself in front of Mom & Saying it's OP's fault? Telling OP nobody will ever love her?😵‍💫 Mom was there for all of it & blocked it out‼️ Now OP is Pretending it's Possible that mom didn't know‼️ Mom wants OP back because it cuts down on the abuse that she herself has to endure‼️😡🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@WolfgangDoW]

Don't forget the sibling sliced the mother up too

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

And how could she see such a terrible relationship between the "sisters" and not try to communicate and get to the bottom of the issue? It's so clear that if she didn't know, it's because she didn't want to.

[@tranquility1967]

​@@DragonbornMike-ym2erexactly, she wanted to keep blinders on. Much as they kept blinders on to getting Marilyn help... she needed committed elsewhere.

[@HackiePuffs]

It’s always the victims in these situations who everyone wants them to “be the bigger person and make things right” and not the one who victimized them smh

[@sheilaclemett4353]

"Be the bigger person" translates to "Be a doormat for your bully because you are the weakling."

[@jackspring7709]

True - cowards and enablers always go for the easy targets - and they can pound sand because OP is already the bigger person.

[@x_beatsperminute_x1232]

I know right? If anyone told me that regarding a bully who targeted me I would consider them as bad as the bully.

[@vykcryptid]

YUP, It's maddening

[@brianbarber5401]

Of course, because they know the AH won’t do anything real to make things right.

[@helenlewis2510]

Before the update: Op, you parents have consistently and repeatedly failed you. They will never change. Leave and go find people that won’t abuse you at every turn. After the update: your mother is a LIAR. Just like my mom when she claimed she didn’t know my (now former) stepdad was abusing me for 12 years, your mom knew. It’s just easier to blame the abuse victim than cutting off the abuser.

[@kevinnaranek6649]

Sounds as though for any and all practical purposed the father's only family involvement being largely absent was that of a financial provider.

[@SunnyD74]

When my sister was 20, my mother said to her “there’s something I always wanted to ask you but didn’t want to out ideas in your head. Did your dad abuse you?” My sister just flat told her yes, he did. My mother knew. She just figured that if she didn’t see anything and my sister didn’t say anything, it wasn’t happening and didn’t need to be dealt with.

[@WolfgangDoW]

Don't forget the sibling sliced the mother up too, she fully knew

[@a.m.1528]

And then OP ends up consoling her enabler mother instead of focusing on the wrongs committed against OP. Mom successfully shifted the attention and victimhood to herself. These types of people make me sick.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: There is no way the psychiatrists didn't find anything wrong with OP's sister. You don't get committed - twice - to a psych hospital unless the staff think you need it and authorities have been called more than once by the neighbors. Since the mother appears to be the source of the info about the sister's commitment, it appears she is lying about it, just as she is surely lying about not having seen the physical abuse. I think the parents just brought the sister home and ignored whatever therapies were recommended, while gaslighting OP into believing it was all normal.

[@Plaprad]

That or lying through their teeth to the shrinks. It's one thing for a random neighbor to say something happened. But then the parents come in a say "Here's what really happened" and talk the sister through it. Doctors and therapists are humans too. They can screw up just like anyone else. A buddy of mine who actually was a licensed therapist once told me there was a study done that showed mental health professionals, when confronted by an actual master manipulator, are some of the most easily fooled. Some have a "I've been trained, so no one can manipulate or fool me!" attitude. Not sure how true it really is, but I believe it.

[@jillimi]

@@Plaprador she was not taken to a real therapist or psychiatrist, those parents, specially the mother, are not reliable persons.

[@Plaprad]

@@jillimi That was another thought I had. Op mentioned they were Catholic. I was curious whether they took her to an actual shrink, or a church "Therapist.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Therapy only works if the patient is open to it. Sister clearly isn't. Sister went from spoiled and center of her parents world as an only child to an older sibling and she has never gotten over it. OP's parents admit to spoiling her and enabling her but they didn't do so for OP. Her sister never learned to or wants to share their parents attention, love and money with OP. This will never change. Parents need to realize this. There will be no happy family reunion or peaceful coexistence because sister won't let it happen. OP needs to walk away from them. As much as it will hurt, her life will be 1000% better without her sister and her enablers aka parents in her life. OP can't save them from her because they don't want to be.

[@podunk_woman]

Pretty sure you have to be considered a danger to yourself or others to be committed.. US

[@paulagoeringer9466]

The mom only protected op because a dead kid is hard to explain. It wasn't because she cared.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Agreed. Because then the neighbors would KNOW she's a terrible mother if one of her kids died on her watch. That was the only reason she stepped in at that point: to hide the evidence. She's still in that mode of being determined to hide all evidence of her being a terrible mother. The neighbors additionally would figure out something was wrong if one of her daughters mysteriously disappeared, never came home, but was clearly still alive That's the only reason the parents are pushing OP to "forgive" her abusive sister.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

@@SakuraMoonflower 💯% 🎯

[@ronhall5395]

Very possible she protected her because she did not want to see her first born in jail.

[@mamm7223]

Exactly!

[@beverlyarcher546]

The daughter should have been punished by being put in a mental asylum

[@AndyyWithAY]

WTF!! The mom didn't know OP was repeatedly abused?? The sister locked OP AND the mom in rooms, physical violence is too far in her mind?? OP is giving the parents way too much grace. They were the adults and didn't protect her. Then the mom says OP can't leave and demands OP forgive her. Then uses OP as a crutch. Her behavior is so manipulative and vile. Don't think it's intentional, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[@bellasmom2597]

The only way they didn't "know" would be because they were intentionally blind to it

[@bhart3321]

There'll eventually be an update where Marilyn murders her parents & goes after OP Michael Myers style. Hopefully she gets put down like a rabid dog by either the cops or OP (who needs to adopt the stay strapped or get clapped rule) cuz Marilyn is absolutely the type of person to violate a PRO by trying to finish the job she started when OP was a toddler. OP needs to start extensive fight & firearms training cuz I see this only ending with one of them 6 ft deep.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I think the mum is scared to be left alone with her psychopath child. Dad's permanently off working, OP is going no contact, so she's trying to keep OP in het life. But OP is an adult now, so she'll run fast and far. The mum deserves the cold shoulder from OP. Ultimately, it's not the sister who ruined OP's childhood. It's the parents for keeping the kids together, giving OP no protection against the bullying and not treating/diagnosing the sister properly.

[@nicksuazo4377]

@bhart3321 Yeah, I fear what she would do to her own child. And it's no wonder the mother is so desperate to make OP forgive her sister. She's not ignorant or willfully so, she knows what comes next if she's left alone with her eldest daughter. I don't know about the dad, considering he's nowhere to be found on the reddit post and updates, but yeah, if Marilyn shows up on an episode of Forensic Files one day, the mom is the first to go on her list. The mom is handicapped and old anyway, she has no chance.

[@BenKonosky]

Well, when op's mother said she remembered the time when op hurt her sister, that's when I knew mom was lying about not knowing what was going on.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Fun fact about terrible people. That rabbit hole goes down further than you think just when you thought you've met literal Satan it just keeps getting worse

[@LunaP1]

Even Satan wouldn't approve of that thing (can't call her human).

[@madambutterfly1997]

​@@LunaP1Satan just gets pissed at the idea of there's somebody being worse than him

[@ValirianDefiance]

were do you think the myth of Satan comes from?

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@madambutterfly1997Literally this lol

[@DemonAngel]

People blame Satan and Demons for their deplorable behavior when they should blame God. Lucifer/Satan didnt do a thing except punish sinners. God is the one who did all this BS. Flood? God. Kill the first born? God. Tower of Babble? God. Creating adulatory and incest? God. God created sins so Lucifer would have a job and Heaven wouldn't be over crowded. But then again why would you believe in a deity that allowed sinners to repent and be welcomed into heaven alongside their victims? Some forget God was a vengeful deity and there is a lot of missing texts thanks to the Romans. And countless versions. Dont blame the devil for the deeds of humans. We are deplorable enough without him.

[@artistwithawanderingeye908]

First Story: There isn't anyway OP's mom didn't know Marilyn was hitting OP. OP had wounds and anxiety, and they didn't notice? And after all that explanation, they still want OP to forgive her? OP needs to go NC immediately. Edit: After listening to the edit, it sounds like OP's parents assumed she repressed the memories of abuse and the fact that OP still remembers what happened ruined the plan of "reconciliation"

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Exactly this. The parents just ignored it to try and use OP as a punching bag again so they wouldn't get hurt

[@nicksuazo4377]

Sounds like they were hoping she would. But even if she did, MARILYN STILL ABUSES HER! She's a grown ass adult abusing her adult sister and parents. They're trying to make excuses so OP doesn't leave them with their monster of a daughter.

[@TheBreaker996]

Truth is too painful, so they decided to ignore the reality. "They are siblings, there is no way they fight or something" turning blind eye to all, and mom shielded herself in the denial. Explaining all the traumas as "she just clumsy" or her behaviour around the house as "she is just like that" It can be truth - her "not knowing" - but still a load of BS

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@TheBreaker996 That is very true. Many people deny reality to not get hurt, but unfortunately in the story it more sounds like the mom did it intentionally to gauge if she could still make OP her own scapegoat to not get hurt by the child she raised

[@xegin1572]

@@lovelysakurapetalsyt In my opinion the actual reason her parents want OP to reconcile with her sister is simply because otherwise it force them to face the reality they've been denying. As long as OP isn't putting up with her sister's behavior, they cannot be in that sweet, sweet denial that doesn't require them to do anything about the situation.

[@katsthename989]

I'm glad she realized her mom knew what was happening. Her sister has a history of verbal and physical abuse to her parents, but it's too outlandish to think she abused her sister in the same way? All you had to do was use is context clues to figure that out. There were even a couple stories they talked about her mom having to defend her and her mom was still surprised? Evil people.

[@nicksuazo4377]

That's such a weird thing, too. You were abused by your own daughter, but you don't believe she would abuse her sister? The mom is full of shit and is trying to win OP over, so she's not left with Marilyn. I imagine the reason the dad has 3 jobs is just so he doesn't have to come home.

[@mercurialmelody]

I feel like the mom either feigned surprise or was genuinely surprised all the gaslighting didn't convince OP everything was normal/didn't happen that way.

[@calico_queen8976]

Also, some of the accounts happened when M was a freaking adult. Imagine a 20 year old choking a 12 year old. The parents cry about being abandoned when they allowed this monster to torture their daughter.

[@Acesspaded]

The mom is a piece of garbage in this. There’s no way she didn’t know op was being abused by someone that would physically hit the mother. Like didn’t op say the mom would “protect” her from the sisters rampages? Like the mom is deadass a piece of garbage. She has to either try and gaslight herself or her own daughter just so she wouldn’t be a parent. Disgusting.

[@moshigal156]

As soon as OP said her mom “had no idea”, I literally said out loud to myself “That’s bullshit and that egg donor knows it!” The mom ABSOLUTELY knew what was happening; she maybe didn’t know the full extent, but there’s no conceivable way she didn’t at LEAST have an inkling that something was terribly wrong. She’s not upset about what happened, she’s upset because she KNOWS that she was a terrible mother and doesn’t like having it pointed out. She failed both her kids; she failed Marilyn by not shutting her behavior down and getting her the SERIOUS help she needs, and she failed OP by allowing her to be exposed to Marilyn and her poisonous abuse. I hope for OP’s sake she never has to speak to any of those three again.

[@WolfgangDoW]

Seeing as the sibling sliced the mother up too, she definitely knew

[@videofan1010]

She knew because the oldest daughter locked her and the mother in a room and put a knife to her wrist... the mother knew. She may have repressed and down played it to obsolve herself of guilt.

[@ZombieSazza]

My mother still to this day likes to pretend her “perfect and precious” son (31) never did anything to me (33), yet she called me dramatic for asking 999 be called for an ambulance due to suffering concussions and/or having strangulation marks around my neck, I’d be forced to walk a couple hours dizzy and disorientated to get to the local hospital (what should’ve normally been a 40 minute walk), how she ignored the black eyes, how she would turn her music up louder to drown out my brother violently abusing me. But if I stood up for myself? Oh she remembered that, because it made me the “aggressor”. Safe to say after years of being no contact both are utterly miserable because they don’t have me to abuse any more, he’s gone off the rails and she’s burnt more bridges than soldiers in WWII. Parents like that ALWAYS know, they just don’t ever want to admit it because that means acknowledging they’re a complete failure, they’d rather live in delulu land.

[@scheneli000]

And literally the mom was hit by the sister while protecting OP from her?? Like what?? If you had to protect one daughter from the other, you KNEW it was happening all the time you weren't there to physically get in between them

[@TheIronwil]

When I was young I had step-brothers who were both wildly misogynistic and psychopaths. They performed tests on me they called “woman tests”. First was scalding hot water on my hands. They escalated to pinching razor blades with their thumb and forefinger, so they could make long, shallow cuts on me, after which they’d poor alcohol on the cuts. They finally amped up to drowning me. Repeatedly. There’s no reason for forgive someone that does these kinds of things.

[@kaykay8855]

I’m so sorry that you went through that. If you don’t mind me asking but what did your parents do?

[@Passions5555]

That's horrific. I am so sorry that happened.

[@TheIronwil]

@@kaykay8855 I was 11 at the time. When they first started cutting me, I went to her for help. All she did was ask if they'd done it and they denied it. They said we were riding bicycles and I fell into some barbed wire. My mother never had my back, and just sent us away. The things they did to me later that night are so horrible that I only told my wife about it in the past few years. But it marked the last time I ever asked my mother for help. My dad was out of the picture for the most part. My mother was also extremely violent and an alcoholic, and my dad did nothing about that either. They divorced when I was 7. It's OK though. Today I have a wife, my own house, and the best pack of dogs on the planet. I stopped waking up screaming several years ago, and was able to sleep soundly, something I lost when I was 8. My mother got really drunk and told me she'd stood over me while I slept for hours, intending to "shoot me in the head and then shoot herself". I didn't sleep soundly again until I was almost 40. But it all worked out in the end. I didn't speak to my father for the last decade of his life, and haven't spoken to my mother in about 5 years. She and I are done. I tried giving her another chance after she finally had to give up alcohol, but she tried starting trouble with my wife, and I won't tolerate that for a second.

[@_nikolas_3464]

Some people just shouldn't be allowed to exist in a society or at least have access to it and I'll die on this hill. Examples are OP's sister and your abusers.

[@sylviajones6745]

My GOD, these people sound like future Hitlers and serial killers.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

She needs to get a restraining order against these people. They're abusing her in multiple ways and never will stop, the only way to make it easier to get them away from OP is to get a restraining order due to the multiple instances of attempted murder Edit after update: it's not that the mom didn't realize, it's willful ignorance to prevent having more trauma. They intended to ignore the abuse so they didn't get hurt themselves, and then think that lying is the best way to protect everyone when it isn't, and they damn well know that. They want to use OP as a scapegoat so that they don't get hurt Edit after comment update: they couldn't find what was wrong because the sister is a sociopath, which is VERY hard to diagnose due to them hiding it to others who could stop what they're doing. It's an unfortunate fact, but it's very hard to diagnose sociopathy. Depression is MUCH easier to diagnose, but not sociopathy

[@tcrpgfan]

Also. Imagine this... you have to admit to yourself and to others that your child is dangerously unstable mentally. That.. would be hard for any parent to actually do. They can and a lot admit it, but it's still hard to say out loud.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

The mother has been downplaying the abuse for the last 20 years. I doubt the sister will get diagnosed when both sister and mother lie about how serious the behaviour is.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Yep, unfortunately that can also contribute

[@itme154]

@@tcrpgfan Both the parents are failures. It's no wonder they protect their abuser daughter. Stop defending them, they're worthless trash.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

Worse, she might be a psychopath Psychopaths are born psychopaths, sociopaths develop it during childhood

[@darkmask5933]

As far as the sister with the therapists go, I see two scenarios, that the sister was such a great manipulator that she was able to convince them she was the victim and her behavior was normal (possibly with mother being disabled and father working all the time), or that the therapists did offer recommendations and the mother ignored them. OP needs to go NC with her entire family. Sister is just so sick, she doesn't want OP gone, she wants her victim back. She can't stand that her favorite abuse doll got away and is actually living her life.

[@lindah3803]

Yes,sister wants OP back. Simply to take all her aggression out. The problem is that it will never be enough. Sister will keep ramping up the abuse until she finally kills OP. For OP to go back in that house with her sister,OP has to be willing to kill her sister the next time she attacks. Mom has proven she won't call the cops and press charges,even OP won't. We already know OP won't fight back,she won't kill her sister. She will let sister kill her. OPs only option is to stay out,never go back,never let her parents know where she is living. They are stupid enough to tell sister where OP is. OP definitely needs a lifetime of therapy. Someone needs to make OP understand that the therapy she needs is nothing like the institutionalization that sister should have gotten years ago,still needs. Reddit seems to be treating OP well. Maybe Reddit can convince her.

[@aaroneisenman6873]

My son has been committed in many different wards. The first couple of times the doctors and nurses raved about how well behaved he was. After that we always warned them to expect that...once they understood that, they started see him as we saw him.

[@bhart3321]

I'm almost guaranteeing it's the latter. The parents either willfully turned a blind eye or actively chose to enable the child in hopes they could stay on her "good side" can't wait for the inevitable conclusion where Marilyn murders her parents & goes after OP Michael Myers style but gets taken out before she can. Regardless OP needs to adopt the mantra of stay strapped or get clapped by starting intensive fight & firearms training ASAP. Hopefully she gets to be the one to put her rabid dog of sister 6 feet under.

[@nicksuazo4377]

@aaroneisenman6873 Thank you for seeing the abuse and violence for what it is. Too many good people get used and get killed because they're too nice to the people around them, friends and family alike. Especially if you don't see those red flags waving from a distance. I'm sorry you had to deal with a similar situation as OP, though.

[@aaroneisenman6873]

@@nicksuazo4377 We got fortunate enough that not only did we get people willing to listen to us, but also it helped that our son actually wants to do better. I sympathize with OP a lot, as I also grew up with an abusive older sister. While not to the level that OP suffered, I have had to cut contact with a large portion of my family do to her manipulative actions. My wife has also lost contact with some of her family also due to her.

[@mellowmallow4855]

OP's mom in the first story DID know. Note, OP mentioned her that she shielded her. Her mother is trying to absolve herself of her own guilt by lying. That's disgusting. OP needs to cut her whole family off and reach out to her family in Puerto Rico before her crappy family twist the story to make her ou to be the abusive one.

[@BurntWeeny435]

I'm terrified for any children that awful sister might have. How do we know she wouldn't torment her own kids? OP deserves all the love, safety and kindness that didn't receive growing up.

[@FreijaVanir]

She is going to make Casey Anthony look like Mother Of The Year, blue ribbon and all.

[@talesfromatiredmind4785]

She'd either torment her kids or turn them into mini versions of herself

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

Story 1, Mom knew. Denial and ignoring the obvious can be strong. My mom did the same thing to me. She remembered so many stories of my past but mom just turned it into none abuse.

[@meadowsong8560]

I know several people that have had abusive childhoods and their parents do not seem to remember the abuse! One actually said “ Aren’t you glad I never hit you kids?” It was shocking! I truly wonder how they can not recall that.

[@dimsufferer9951]

She’s absolutely trying to guilt trip OP “I keep having to console her, which feels weird” because it *is* weird! OP finally gets out and refuses to come back and mom “conveniently” doesn’t know what happened? Bullshit. She knew and she’s trying to guilt OP to come back

[@nicksuazo4377]

It's sad to see kids grow in abusive families. It's absolutely AGGRAVATING when the abusers feign ignorance and say, "I don't remember that." or "Stop being dramatic. It wasn't that bad." Yeah, sure. But then they'll be wondering why no one wants to talk to them and then throw a fit.

[@wmdkitty]

@@nicksuazo4377 next up is "Yeah, I hit you. But you deserved it."

[@nicksuazo4377]

@wmdkitty We already got that from the sister. The mother is really like, "I know you were abused, but I didn't realize it was THAT bad." It's like OPs mom thinks that abuse to a certain extent is OK and will only speak up when it's gone too far. She's the worst kind of enabler - the one who steps in when it's far too late! And then she goes on a holier-than-thou mission to "unite" the sisters, as if they had a relationship to begin with. OP should go NC with the lot of them. There's literally no benefit even having contact with the mom. And don't even get me started on the dad. "I didn't know she did this to you and your mother. Why didn't you tell me?" Better question: WHERE THE F HAVE YOU BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?! I only ever heard the mother having to deal with the sister in the story, and we know that the dad works 3 JOBS and did, in fact, spoil their eldest daughter. What had he been doing the whole time? Avoiding his family? Making up an excuse not to come home every day?

[@JoJoGranum]

First story: good gods just when I thought I’ve seen the worst in my 54 years I’m hearing this. OP is so right in calling her soulless. It sounds like the parents are drinking the koolaid the sibling is putting out. I hope OP gets themselves and their cat out and save themselves from drowning in this toxicity.

[@mriddley]

And she isn't diagnosed with anything I guess sime people are jus born evil

[@WolfgangDoW]

Straight up psychopath, she should be in jail

[@WolfgangDoW]

@@mriddley some people are born with no empathy yes, but that doesn't inherently make them abusive. Just they have no feedback when they do hurt others, so easier to fall down that route

[@jackspring7709]

Wow, OP, amazing how your parents are suddenly so determined to intervene but had nothing whatsoever to do or say to her when it really mattered. Time to go low to no contact. These are willing enablers who will do nothing but drag you down. They've chosen that for themselves, they don't get a right to demand that from you.

[@AkaneTenshi]

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd surmise that either they repressed as much as they could manage to make themselves think they were actually not-horrible parents (low chance), or more likely, they want OP back in their lives to take some of Sister's attention off of them.

[@satansecretary665]

@@AkaneTenshi better her than them. the family punching bag. disgusting people.

[@LunaMane]

The ugly truth of the matter is that OP's mother and father did know. But they didn't want to acknowledge it, or realized how bad it was.

[@madambutterfly1997]

It's absolutely pathetic how much happened and the mother just didn't know. I get the mom was physically disabled but was she drugged out of her mind on painkillers that more than half of this shit flew over her head after all these years

[@viciantonia]

the parents just decided to not see it because they didn't want to deal with it. I mean she literally threw a tantrum at 7 that she doesn't want to go home and they didn't even ask why she didn't want to return. Or how she was always scared and the mom answered I just thought you were like this, that may be the case but to not get suspicious when you have another child at home that behaves violent and aggressive like come on.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

She did see it, she and the father just ignored it to use OP as the punching bag so they wouldn't be hit

[@veezopolis]

She saw it and participated in it. It's just convenient to pretend she never saw it

[@izba5747]

I think parents are not completely there in the head. They gaslight OP with such sencerity, it's messed up!

[@jackspring7709]

She knew - and, like the father, she's a coward and an enabler.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

yeah there's absolutely no way that OP's mom didn't know what was happening, she was lying. i'm glad OP realized this. that her mom was full of it too.

[@emileeweir7773]

"The reason why I fight to makes things better for other people is because... no one fought for me..." Gah, that one line hit me so hard. I have no words beyond I relate so strongly to it.

[@shrubman3422]

Be the hero you needed.

[@emileeweir7773]

@@shrubman3422 Exactly.

[@Buff_Helpy]

She did all that they want to forgive her? Yeah im calling BS. Between that and the amount of evil stuff sis did its just to unbelievable. Though i will say its an entertaining read.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

I work with abused children. I have seen families with similar issues.

[@x77punk77x]

To root commenter: You are naïve and/or grew up too virtually (online) and loudly choose not to believe things because they make you uncomfortable &/or you want to assert egocentric-based order over the universe. Believe me, those of us who didn’t f’ing grow up online don’t trust individuals like you reciprocally; you cannot f’ing trust people who reflexively hide behind technology and are extremely proud of not having/showing compassion and of eschewing information that they arrogantly choose to reject. I studied tech over 20 years ago and I swear it’s horribly ruining humanity and rewarding inhumanity. I am so bloody sick of ignorant comments like the “i don’t believe this” b.s. - if you are a lying troll or hang out with them, don’t f’ing project on the rest of us.

[@DhyanaV-r8p]

I am hoping OP updates more. I am concerned how her sister was tackled as the mother “promised” Kudos to OP for going to college and making something out of her life. Way to go OP

[@kaykay8855]

I found the original post and the update was made 7 years ago. I doubt we will get a another update.

[@DhyanaV-r8p]

@@kaykay8855 oh ok

[@karenrickert9430]

This was heartbreaking! Given the abusive behaviors and the sisters history there is no way they couldn’t come up with a diagnosis for whatever mental illness!

[@SCP01986]

There is a diagnosis = evil!

[@beverlyarcher546]

Single child illness look at their age difference more then likely the brat was spoiled because of the mom being disabled and the dad always working

[@midnightblue1975]

Flagging that Dud working 3 jobs is a great way to never be in the house with feeble useless Mom and rabid Marilyn. He knew.

[@momo382844]

I agree. It was really telling that OP said he was one most of Sis, yet knew nothing about the abuse? Yeah, right.

[@davidnash8208]

He was working 3jobs becuase his daughter stole money etc. I know it's hard to not always blame men but sometimes they are gaslighted too

[@beverlyarcher546]

More likely why he had 3 jobs

[@significantlyinsignificant9925]

Those parents didn't want to "know", but they knew. Why else would they not ask questions like, "Why are you afraid of your sister?" or "Why did you slam the door on your sister's finger?"?

[@monicacurtis3986]

The mother was lying through her teeth about EVERYTHING! There's no way she didn't know what Marilyn was doing and there's sure as shit no way that psychiatrists didn't find anything. I'm not even fully convinced that Marilyn ever saw any mental health professionals. OP needs to change her number, block emails, move, and do whatever else she needs to do to completely sever ties those people. They're in a hell of their own making and OP deserves nothing but peace and happiness.

[@beverlyarcher546]

Hope OPs parents don't OP to take care of them in the future and knowing that witch she will abuse them they better just put themselves in a retirement home

[@Midgetbear-nk1fe]

I could relate so much of having the rage of having you're childhood being ripped away from you and then all problems in your adult life stems form that. The "family" needs to be cut off. They are truly evil

[@gelibeanzcantrell7192]

the parents absolutely knew what was going on but were too scared to do anything about it. there's absolutely no way they didn't know because they were terrorized themselves. good on the mom for shielding OP the sibling that one time, but she should've kept that same energy. where was the dad in all this? did he ever try to protect his wife and daughter from this monster? why did they never punish M for any of this? edit: my guess is that M was trying to get rid of OP so that she didn't have to share the attention of their parents. she wanted to continue to be spoiled without having a sibling to also be spoiled, and her selfishness spiraled out of control.

[@rahulmodi8706]

Sister is evil. The parents are gullible but also horrid human beings. People who bury in their hand in the sand are enablers OP should give them a reality check. If they want the sister, they can live with her and face the consequences

[@dakotasan8719]

“Blood may be thicker than water, but that only makes it easier to drown in.” -the world’s most disgruntled Squirrel.

[@geckokid8265]

A version I like is "blood means relation, loyalty means family" (or something to that effect) said by QuincyLK

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the first story I'm surprised that the original poster is even believing her parents BS. Let's be real here her parents failed to get her oldest sister helped the moment they knew that there was a mental problems going on with her way before the original poster was even born. In addition they knew that she was abusing this child from newborn all the way up to 15 plus they just don't want to admit that they failed their daughter both of them really and now their daughter who's been to the abuse is making her mother choose between her and the abuser. At this point she needs to go no contact with all of them because they're guilty for enabling and just allowing the child to be abused. Not to mention the fact that your mom has been abused by your sister so much that she may have some memory damage. At this point she needs to get out of the family go no contact with her parents and sibling and way more the anything else. In addition and let's be real here you're 19 your sisters 30 and she's been doing this from the age of 11 or 12 to you all the way up until she was Twenty-One and the fact that your parents did not press charges against answer tells me all I need to know. Not to mention she's been doing in continuing this since she was 26-27

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

it's scary to think the people who loved us didn't protect us. When I was first getting into therapy, I was convinced that my mom was just as much a victim as I was, and that may be true, but she's also an agressor. That's a hard, scary thing to conceptualize. That mom/dad could have helped and chose not to, that hurts. Real real bad. As humans, it's our desire to avoid things that hurt, but if we do, then we never really heal.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Saying "I didn't know" is not an excuse

[@wickedamoeba8719]

I’m so sick of abusers and enablers pulling the “family” card. Family isn’t supposed to hurt you like this. OP, you didn’t abandon your parents. They abandoned you.

[@NakaidaBeauzec]

Acknowledging the abuse would mean the parents would have to admit that they raised a monster and were utter failure as parents

[@beverlyarcher546]

Seeing age difference the brat was used to being an only child and spoiled why else act the way she did?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I feel so bad for op i hope they get the best they never deserved that

[@SpookiCooki]

Wow this was dark... It sounds like the sister is a psychopath. They are hard to diagnose because they are good at pretending to be normal.

[@tailsimp]

OP's final message to reddit legit made me cry. Suspecting that they did deserve everything that happened. Crying that people are telling them that they deserved to be protected. Just... Holy fucking shit.

[@astronautviolet153]

Op needs to go no contact with those people. There's no way to the parents don't know about all of that abuse, and they all sound super toxic.

[@videofan1010]

Oh dear God. The first story is insane 🤯😳. Her parents are terrible people.

[@Acatandanomad]

Op's mom is lying. Lying liar who lies. Screw OP's family. Run kid, run!

[@oritreuben2184]

Story 1. A therapist didn’t work for the sister because she is a sociopath. But he/she will help you deal with trauma. Try looking into PBSP therapy. Ops mother has selective memory or is in denial.

[@J2982able]

Mom knew, she chose not to see it. My older brother was exactly like this and both parents acted shocked when I refused to attend his wedding ... "We didn't know ..." bullshit, you heard me screaming, you just chose not to intervene.

[@kateemma22]

No! No! The mom’s playing the victim is bullsh!t. ‘I won’t stop you if you never want to come home’. If she really just learned her eldest was a psychopath she would get the b-tch into treatment. The sister isn’t the only manipulator in this family.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

Figurative hug to OP. Poor girl.

[@AceAviations2]

That sister sounds like a psychopath, the fact that she seemed fine to therapists is kind of telling of that, knowing when to hide the monster that she is and when to show it. There's some sadistic intelligence to the behavior, and the sooner that thing is purged from this world the better.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

How in the world did the parents never know oh my holy hell

[@LunaP1]

They were willfully ignorant and would rather let it happen than to send her to a mental hospital.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@JoJoGranum]

Thank you. Needed that .

[@Goldenxbih]

No

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

​@@JoJoGranum🤗🤗💜💜

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

​@@Goldenxbihight

[@babydoll8182]

You know what I came here to watch the latest episode and try to wind down. And seen your comment. It made my day. I have been under a lot of stress lately with work. And your message made me smile. Bless you ❤❤❤❤

[@fuilli]

just heard the beginning, and all I have to say right now is that the only way to save your parents is to let them suffer. eventually, the suffering will become too much, and when it happens, free them. when will it happen? maybe tomorrow, maybe never

[@fuilli]

wow, those parents are soooooooo attentive... as a parent, you must always keep your eyes open, no matter what.

[@bunbun20203]

Story 1: When it comes to the therapy thing, therapy sometimes doesn’t work well with certain cluster b personality disorders such as narcissism or ASPD because they are excellent manipulators. They can trick therapists and sometimes can even use therapy to learn more manipulation tactics. This doesn’t mean OP wouldn’t benefit from therapy when it comes to working through her trauma

[@TheLodjur]

I always wait until the end of Mark's videos just to hear him say "take care and much love" 💞 It's so heartwarming and brightens my day.🥰

[@becauselifts9913]

That update: "they didn't know." No, no, no. You fucking knew, and you allowed it.

[@TexasSpectre]

If the parents really didn't know, it's because they were the most oblivious people in the world - or they didn't *want* to know in the interest of 'happy family'. Either way, Mom and Dad were absolutely awful and *are* terrible parents.

[@candiebarr6745]

I have a sister 9 years older than me. She had a lot of issues while she was growing up. While some things that happened could pass as accidents or her being too young to fully comprehend what would have happened. My mom still got suspicious and when it started to become obvious that she knew what she was doing and that it was on purpose, my mom got her mental help, despite how taboo it was at the time, and when it got to the point our mom couldn't protect me, she sent my sister to live with her father thinking it would be good for both of us. And I remember once, my sister had randomly shown up and was clearly on something. My mom convinced her to have a bath, mom took her clothes so she couldn't run, then called the cops. At that point, largely to protect her from herself although I don't know all the details about that point in time though. All of that put a huge strain on their relationship. Eventually, my sister put the effort in to better herself. Apologized for some things she did to our mom and myself, and at this point, out of my 5 sisters and 2 brothers, she's the only one I have any sort of relationship with.

[@jamestown8398]

I'm reminded of the film Judgement at Nuremberg, and this line by Janning; "You didn't *want* to know." Basically, cowardly, willful ignorance.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

I feel this is denial. My mother pulled this crap. She can't handle that she allowed horrible things to happen to her kids and herself. I get a lot of "that never happened" "you must have been dreaming/misunderstanding". She refuses to admit anything bad that happened to me, but if it was her or my siblings, she remembers. I think that the mother can't believe that she raised a monster.

[@nancyadams9228]

Mom was in serious denial. I suspect the sister’s adventures with mental health professionals were portrayed by mom through that lens.

[@parkerabbott2189]

For story 1, I've just gone through something similar with my mom. My dad was the abusive one, so slightly different but still very similar. If OP sees this, here's some stuff that I wanted to hear when I was just getting out of it too: 1) You're probably gonna figure out that your mom does actually know for sure. She can't process it, which isn't her fault, but the behaviors she displays afterward are her responsibility. She might really struggle to take responsibility for them, though, and that can be very frustrating. You still deserve an apology, and there's nothing wrong with you for holding them accountable. Personally, I did have some grace with my mom, since she was a victim of abuse too, but grace can still require apologies. 2) Reconciliation with your parents can be difficult. In my opinion, though, the biggest gauge on if it will be worth it is capacity for change. My mom moved out after I left, and our relationship has never been better. My dad and I will likely never have a relationship. 3) As far as you and your healing, get a therapist - a good one. Look into different types of therapy and don't stop until you have one that calls you on your crap but doesn't make you feel like crap for it. It took me 7 years, but therapy has turned my baby steps forward on my own into full sprints. You might get to happiness on your own, but it'll take a lot longer and hurt a lot more on the way. That being said, you'll get through this the same way you always have. You'll survive cause you have to, and one day once you're out you'll realize you came a lot further than you thought. I was actively suicidal at 6 years old. Some of the doctors thought the thoughts might be part of my inner voice, as they never left. Now, as of the last 2-3 months, I no longer have those thoughts. Keep moving forward, and you'll make strides you thought you'd never live to. Good luck OP, I know it's hell. Hope life gets easier ❤

[@cyreneB]

with family like this you don't need enemies

[@mystikmind2005]

The parents should be in jail for child abuse, since they were the ones that sat on their hands refusing to protect OP when they should have damn well known better... and continued on enabling the abuse to continue for years... they are the ones that make me sick to my soul, not the mentally deranged sister... deranged is as deranged does, but what is the parents excuse??? Yeah.

[@trevorsreya8277]

When a person gets victimized, nobody bats an eye. When the victim defends himself, everyone loses their friggin' minds.

[@charlessaunders7061]

Her mother is trying to gaslight her. I mean; who begs someone to go into counseling if they think they're the innocent victim? She needs to disown them all.

[@trinitylane2202]

It sounds like OP's sister is a psychopath. OP said something about her sister trying to kill her cat a few times. Psychopaths can become animal abusers/killers.

[@avencree]

I have a feeling the mom isn't going to realize her oldest daughter is a irredeemable monster until she getting buried in a shallow grave in the middle of the night. Her claiming she "didn't know" has to be the biggest load of crap I've ever seen on this sub, and we've seen some doozies. I hope OP can one day rid herself of her sister's poison and that little voice in her head fades into obscurity.

[@ghastlyweather1750]

The mom didn't "not know," she just tuned it out. She didnt listen to a kid crying because she thought they were exaggerating. I know this, because also happened between me and my sister. She moved out, luckily, as she started getting more outright violent (locked me in rooms/destroyed toys to pushing me down stairs/selling belongings), but she definitely robbed me of my childhood.

[@madambutterfly1997]

In most families that's exactly what it mean the even if they are abusing you, you have to always be there for them

[@loganjoh1]

As soon as OP said “I can’t believe she didn’t know” I just went “you literally told so many reasons why that is an absolute lie she is pretending not to know that!”

[@mezzokitty247]

This whole so-called "family" is absolutely horrid. The "parents" are just as bad as the "sister", probably even worse since they heavily spoiled and enabled her, then the egg donor straight up gaslit OP into believing that she "didn't know" about all of the abuse OP was put through. It seems pretty clear the only reason the egg donor wanted OP to forgive her abusive pos of a "sister" was so OP could be forced to be the physical and mental punching bag for their golden child once again so that the "parents" won't be abused or have to suffer the consequences of their own actions. Also, the egg donor lied about not knowing about the abuse in order to relieve her own guilt from the situation and further shifting it onto OP by using her as an emotional crutch. I'm SO relieved that the redditors helped OP realized in the last update/comment that she was being gaslit by her egg donor with the "didn't know" bs and has decided to not forgive any of them. Hopefully OP will get help like she promises to do. Therapy may not have helped her "sister", but it can help OP since she is nothing like that hellspawn at all. Just the fact that OP is willing to accept help shows that she can be helped, since the key part of receiving help from therapy is that one has to want help.

[@roberthickman2907]

The chapters updated really quick today.

[@shrubman3422]

The parents knew. Do. Not. Forgive. Them. They are just as bad as the sister and do not make them feel better. They deserve to know what they did how they enabled it. Cut contact with them too.

[@alyzu4755]

The only thing OP can do is get out and take care of herself. Her parents and sister are adults, and have made their choices. Sister obviously needs to be licked away, either in prison or in a psychiatric facility, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. And if none of them will help themselves, that's on them. OP needs to live her life and get away from her family.

[@jameshutchinson2817]

Op's mother is full of shit, for her to miss that amount of abuse would literally be impossible. She is a neglectful awful mother who is looking to absolve herself of blame thru lying. This puts her on par with the sister as far as how terrible they are. Ghost the lot of them and never look back.

[@TheSeptemberSapphire]

From experience, she may have convinced herself that she wouldn’t have allowed that to happened.

[@jbb2009]

The mother "didn't" know because she didn't WANT to know. This is the same mother who's eldest daughter tried to drown her baby sister?! She and the father are just as culpable as the sister for what she's become. Glad OP is cutting her out of her life.

[@ecos889]

Forgiveness is something you earn and is never handed out. If handed out without being earned means that you have not learned a single lesson and will perpetuate your awful past behavior. Also, giving forgiveness to your abuser is also not a requirement to personally recover from trauma either. Recovering from abuse takes therapy and time and not forgiving your abuser.

[@unchained_wings]

They absolutely knew, they just don't want to admit they turned a blind eye to it.

[@onurkneezb]

on update 1, am i the only one that believes the mom is lying through her teeth? Can't wait for update 2...

[@LunaP1]

Of course she's lying. She didn't send the future serial killer to a mental hospital and put OP in therapy for ptsd. Egg-donor didn't want to admit that she failed as a parent.

[@jacearmor5274]

Story 1: NTA. The mom and dad definitely knew. It's why they kept trying to force them to reconcile.

[@danielmarek4609]

The mother was ignorant on purpose. The mother, no matter what she says now, knew what was going on but just did nothing about it. I don't believe for a second, she "didn't know". OP needs to leave the house and never be around her sister ever again.

[@shartierrawalson4652]

OP mom shield her from the sister but now wanna say she didn't know about the fighting smh these parents didn't wanna know

[@impagain]

Man I was driving listening to this, and when the mom said "she beat you?" I fucking lost it. I yelled so loudly I hurt my throat, I was so pissed. I've said things a good Christian woman like me should never say. How could the parents not know unless they chose not to see??? Anyway I'm home now, calmed down, and am going to listen to the rest to see how they couldn't know. 😡 Edit after the update: how the hell could she not have known? She was shielding her from a beating, the cops AND CPS were called, she refused to come home from Puerto Rico literally SCREAMING that her sister would kill her. Like??? They were literally just living in Delulu-Land, refusing to see it. Convincing themselves it never happened. There's a 0% chance her parents didn't know. Maybe they didn't know how bad, but they knew.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

That egg donor deserves every bit of horror the monster she enables dishes out. I hope the monster and it's parents end up in prison where they belong.

[@CouncilEstateRach]

SHE FUCKING KNEW!

[@CouncilEstateRach]

She didn't link three stories together and thought ooohhh something must be wrong. She is a liar.

[@andersrkeness2721]

OP sister should be in a Happy Home with a Hug Me Jacket in a Nice Padded Room.

[@charitynordstrom5734]

The parents knew and are as evil as the older sister. There is absolutely no way they didn't know what was happening and should feel agony over their utter and complete failure as parents

[@66DoodleGal]

I’m shocked OP’s sister didn’t become a serial killer

[@janrandle2896]

There is always time

[@briansmaller7443]

The mother was willfully blind to what was happening. Her and the father are more to blame than the psycho sister. She at least couldn't help herself because she is batshit insane.

[@pelgervampireduck]

I don't believe for a second the mom didn't know. Bad parents curiously "don't know" or "don't remember" when confronted with the things they did wrong.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

I feel for OP in story 1. I want to tell them to just hit her back, but I know how hard that can be. My parents are extremely abusive, especially my mother. I’m still tied to them, but once I’m able to get a job and cut them off, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. The physical abuse stopped because one day I finally hit back. It stopped a few years ago, when I was about 18 or 19. It was at my little sister’s birthday party (yes, my mom got violent during a birthday party. She tends to do that, especially with my sister). She and my sister had gotten into a fight, idr what it was about but my sister definitely wasn’t at fault. My sister went up to her room with my friends, and I was helping my mom clean up or something. She kept bitching about my sister, so I spoke up in my sister’s defense. So, of course, my egg donor turns and slaps the shit out of me. And idk, I think something in me just snapped. I just started hitting her over and over until she was cowering against the wall like the pathetic waste of breath she is. And since then, she hasn’t attempted to hit me. Not even once. The worst part is that I feel so SO guilty about it. I HATE that I got violent. It makes me feel like a horrible person, like I’m just like her, even though I know it isn’t true. I really hope OP gets away from her awful sister and lives a safe, happy life. I’m trying to do the same.

[@julianmyvett1741]

That mother knew that her golden child daughter was killing the other one but she doesn't shun the golden child addict

[@madambutterfly1997]

I would think less of her based on how much of this she is ignorant of and how very little she did to stop it

[@MaseOne]

Story 1: Mother is a gaslighting liar to say she didn’t know

[@LukeStonePharmD]

The parents f’ing knew. Period.

[@sapphireraven5015]

Story one: that was my childhood, but worse. And it was my mom. Verbal, physical, emotional, financial, and mental abuse went on until I got big enough and emotionally strong enough to defend myself. Amazingly, she talks about narcissism and abusive people as if she cannot believe they exist. If it wasn't for videos like this one, Mark, I would have thought I had lost my mind a long time ago. There is a high probability that I would have. Listening to your stories reminds me that I'm not alone. I can relate to a lot of these stories. It has helped me immensely to realize that I'm not alone and also equipped me with knowledge and understanding on how to handle my situation going forward.❤❤❤

[@thecrowfather1919]

I'll be honest. Op's parents were pathetic. They didn't know. No they just chose to be ignorant to make it easier. The sister is evil and the parents are weak and truly worthless as parents.

[@LunaP1]

I bet sister would kill her own child in the same way she tried to do to OP.

[@nicksuazo4377]

​@@LunaP1Honestly, that's the update I'm expecting from OP 😔

[@momo382844]

Bingo.

[@wolfielawless1819]

This video made me cry. The last comment OP made me go. Oh sweety no you ARE worth the world.

[@hdeodh]

S1: Wow... The parents knew and were willfully ignorant and should never forgive themselves... OP will never overcome her sister influence without fighting back... even if that means physically. I learned to never takes any abuse, especially from family, without fighting back... Concept like being the bigger person and turning the other cheek just helps the abusers.

[@amandylyn3881]

I saw a quote that said “being the bigger person sounds a lot like accepting the disrespect”