r/AITA UPDATE Called Out Brother-In-Laws Toxic Masculinity Whilst A Guest In His House

[@CharlesGriswold]

Story 2: "You could have just said no." Uhh... he did. And then he kept getting badgered about it until he got "rude". NTA.

[@EverlieS505]

My favourite sweater is a man-sized xl sweater I got from a fellow traveller in New Zealand (who didn't have enough room in his backpack ). I've had it for about 6 years now. It's so cozy!

[@utatanepiko7087]

And it's a lovely souvenir too! If I got a gift like that, I'll probably remember that traveller forever too

[@MarkNarrations]

Oversized clothing is just awesome. When I was a bit younger I had a huge Red Wings hockey shirt that basically touched the floor when I wore it. Was just the best!

[@EverlieS505]

@@utatanepiko7087 yeah I met him and a few other people in Auckland and we travelled together for about 4 weeks. I have really fond memories of that time 😊 I did borrow that sweater a few times throughout the trip so he new I liked it 😅

[@EverlieS505]

@@MarkNarrationsThat's a really nice memory! It's perfect for this season 😊 When it's cold I can just disappear into it!

[@utatanepiko7087]

@@EverlieS505 I think it's just because I'm sentimental too. I still remember a specific comic book worker that gave my mom a discount on a Toon Link plushie I really wanted out of his own pocket. I was 9 and I still remember him

[@mikek694]

Story 4: your husband was dead on right in taking back the tip. What the server did is borderline assault and deserves nothing. You should report the server’s behavior to the owner of the restaurant, too.

[@laurdiane]

story 4: the AUDACITY of that man to follow you out of the restaurant after getting a $50 tip on a $150 receipt

[@suzanneholmes8612]

That young bride is so much the entitled AH. She isn't entitled to any money from her brother!

[@HackiePuffs]

Story 1 update: honestly I kinda feel like the sister went on that whole rant just for sympathy. She knew what she did was wrong but now she’s back to being a horrible mom?? Yeah she IS failing her kid. I would’ve said that to her face. Glad Justin has some positive support in OP.

[@Davtwan]

“Oh no, our son isn’t being rude along ya anymore. Now I actually have to consider being a good person!” - -Both parents- Dad because he might as well say this. It’s hard enough for people to change their ways even during their formative years, and parents like these aren’t helping. I have half a mind to spit in dad’s face especially for putting his wife and double-especially their son in such a difficult position. (Mom needs to seek mental help regardless though; she needs to learn to bite the bullet and stand up to her husband.)

[@dionysus_adores]

The nerve of her to ask for sympathy points after what she did is disgusting. Like your Justin's mom so act like it. Op did well

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 2: NTA, no one is entitled to a date/sex/relationship for any reason just like OP is not obligated to force himself to go out with someone to “help them get their life together“

[@Mapache095]

lol right? OP isn’t a rehab facility.

[@fzyelf]

Addressing the future FIL story. Apparently my opinion differs from everyone. The first time, she did the correct and respectful thing... she canceled long standing plans for a snap decision wedding. Good for her. Now with only a few weeks notice the future FIL springs another wedding date. Not only on short notice, but also on a holiday weekend. If I had anything even closely resembling plans, I would say no. Does it seem like an Ahole move, yes it does, but there's a legitimate reason behind it. First the father plans a date, then cancels with no regard to how it impacts anyone else. Then last minute decides on a holiday weekend date, when it's reasonable to assume other people may have made plans. I have zero reservations saying the father will likely continue to just keep dropping things on them after they get married with no regard for what they have going on in their life. After doing this a number of times it's going to boil over and become a major issue between her and the son. The son won't understand why it's a problem, because way back here she didn't set boundaries about the disregard the father has for other people. So I don't see it as being the Ahole, I see it as setting clear boundaries to head off being run over by someone that makes huge impulsive decisions without thinking about how the decisions impact others.

[@momotaro1236]

It’s still probably go for part of the wedding but I wouldn’t cancel the party

[@lsilvaeditor]

Honestly, if this was around Christmas, it would probably be a different verdict. Everybody's holiday plans last year got thrown out the door, so this year people want to go ALL out on the celebrations. So, for someone to have a wedding so close to a holiday THIS YEAR with only a few weeks notice - doesn't matter if it's the 4th of July or Halloween - it's just really rude all around.

[@thefriendlyfool]

People are also glossing over one of OP’s comments. That comment being “We’ve been together for 8 years already but stuff like this keeps popping up”. Seriously Reddit once again demonstrates it’s lack of reading comprehension. FIL’s shit planning is a recurring thing it seems.

[@krism8335]

@@momotaro1236 I would reschedule the party but I wouldn’t go to the wedding you need to give me reasonable notice or I’m busy I’m not rearranging my life for a flake

[@momotaro1236]

Story 4: NTA Staying 10 minutes late is rude but 50 bucks is a pretty big tip. He should’ve just taken it and moved yelling customers after they’ve already left is so rude.

[@Ambidexter143]

A 30% tip is extremely generous so the waiter was extremely entitled. NTA.

[@dagnytheartist]

The fact that it was only 10 minutes late and it was after they were finished with dinner makes me think that nobody told them or put any pressure on them to leave and the waiter brought it up as an extra point to be mad about the tip. But I could be wrong.

[@momotaro1236]

@@dagnytheartist yeah 10 minutes really isn’t that long when you consider the dinners can be hours

[@jmarie9997]

The ten minutes was because the food was late. I had people stay two hours after closing.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 5: A doctor in their twenties, married to another doctor, presumably around the same age... Where do you think all their money is? It's in their education. Yeah, they likely have about half a million in combined student debt. They're not banking much at this point.

[@janicewilcox8590]

If you want someone "to not be 'rude'" then you need to take the polite no when you get it. How about that, hmm?

[@nobinary2296]

Uhhh, story 1 is breaking my heart. It seems when he was little he was acting out. If his Dad was like that now imagine how hard it was as child? With no way to properly describe these feelings. The Mom seems to be enabling her TOXIC husband and doesn't want OP rocking her boat. Justin seems to be being emotionally/mentally abused and now OP has finally been able to peek in. I hope OP extends an olive branch and keeps a bed/couch open for Justin if he should need it. I have a Father like this and know personally how it can effect someone growing up. EDIT TO ADD: I don't feel sorry for the Mom. She's failed as a Mother. There is no shortage of battered women shelters and they even relocate you if it's serious. She could have even sent her son to stay with someone she trusted if she didn't want to leave her deadbeat husband. There's so many ways she could have left. But she chooses to not only perpetuate the abuse but enables it.

[@FoxExcess]

The wedding replanning at last minute multiple times without even asking anyone before setting is definitely stupid, and no I don't think someone is an asshole for not wanting to commit after they've already had plans ruined the first time. I don't know why everyone magically thinks an ill-planned wedding should change that just because it's a wedding. Cool, if it's that important don't make it so rushed and ill-planned in the first place. If you're having a small "last minute" wedding, then ask some people what their schedules are like especially when the day that you originally made everyone cancel everything for (the date that actually said had significance) didn't happen anyways. But her plans are a halloween party, so there's likely a good chance the wedding will be over just in time to get home and still do the hang out. I wouldn't be trying to go to a halloween party before 8 anyways. NTA but should just try to make time for both things in that day

[@1978honore]

Story 2: NTA "All you had to do was say no!" He DID 3 times

[@alderart3992]

Wow the audacity in story 5. In a nutshell, OP is like "I demand you give me alot of your money because you're child free and don't deserve it". This person is so entitled and dilusional that it phyaically hurts 😂

[@TonySamedi]

Well, now that waiter knows the difference between actually being stiffed and getting an over 30% tip. I'd say maybe they'd learn but they probably won't. Also that last story, exactly what about the consequences of your own decisions makes you think other people owe you for a thing you just want for vanitys sake? Like if you and the kid were starving, I could go yeah maybe other family should buy you food, but you want it for a wedding? I'm not a Brit, but I believe the term "Sod off" applies here.

[@carolroberts4614]

Indeed it does! Jolly well sod off!

[@rolandhansen812]

LOL - I'll say taking back the tip is a bit of a dick move but that AH waiter deserved it. 15% is standard, 30% is a VERY generous tip. I generally tip 20-30% depending on service and how much I enjoyed the experience. I've tipped as much as 102% but that was quite unusual

[@francesa_loca6920]

Story 5: YTA, the biggest spoiled one ever. Jeeze Louise, the entitlement is strong with this one.

[@robertx8020]

But the family even seems to support her in her entitlement by paying up? Normally (well, I am not sure about all of the UK) when your VERY lucky the parents will pay for (part) of it! But here the whole family is paying? This is insane! I alse see a bridezilla in the making!

[@throwawaydiscourse5072]

Easy game of “spot the communist”

[@bangeryun94]

​@@throwawaydiscourse5072yeah that has SO much to do with a fucking wedding story.

[@zachf748]

Story #5 - I refuse to believe that anyone could be _that_ obvious, entitled, and selfish…

[@cardwitch91]

Nevermind someone who lacks an understanding on the value of money. £20,000 would be a lot of ask of a well-established doctor but OP’s brother is 28, meaning he’s very likely still a junior. He probably doesn’t even have £20,000 saved in his account!

[@sorinsilverheart3200]

Story 2 makes me wheeze. 'how dare you not just say no?!?' Ignoring the fact that he did over and over again but the mom refused to listen.

[@EllieC130]

Story 5: I could have spat out my water. He offered you 5 grand and you were like “nah mate can I have 4 times that?” YTA you cheeky bastard. Not only is OP spoilt, she has no clue how to haggle.

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@juliorodriguez4954]

I think op you never liked him, because he wasn’t yet mature. Maybe this is what make you bond with him. I think as Justin gets older, you have closer relationship. Remember not all kids remain bratty forever. They grow up, and become great people. Be there for him, because one day, that boy would say thanks for having his back.

[@joaolima7131]

I have a theory, maybe Justin was trying to prove his "masculinity" by being rude and obnoxious like his father, and was trying to repress his feelings, I mean, it's not out of the table with a family like his, when he started dating he may losened up a bit, until his father made him repress everything again with this comments, I know how it's like to have to walk on eggshells to appease your family

[@juliorodriguez4954]

@@joaolima7131 Yeah I agree. I had a friend with almost the same problem. But he wasn’t as lucky as Justin. It’s sad he didn’t have a mentor. But Justin does, op could save this kid. Not end up like my friend,,and give Justin hope.

[@cynicalminion]

3: YWBTA, however, if you've been w/YOUR partner for 8 years, and this is a recurring issue, i'd make sure he's VERY aware that you're doing this BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO HIM. start establishing the groundwork that his dad doesn't get to dictate your plans at the drop of a hat...

[@krism8335]

I’d reschedule the party’s but I wouldn’t go to the wedding I’d tell my partner he can go himself his dads poor planning on his part doesn’t constitute an emergency on mine unless I get proper notice I’m unavailable if he doesn’t like it he’s free to leave

[@JR-zi4bj]

Final Story - OP: "Am I missing something here?" Um, how about your grip on reality, a moral compass, any semblance of human courtacy or decency, and obviously, the ability to feel shame? I could go on... an understanding of concepts like "gratitude" and "personal accountability", a soul,... but basically OP, you seem to be "missing" everything but a massive sense of entitlement for shit you've neither earned, nor deserve.

[@LunarisArts]

That story had me honestly mad.

[@TheNormExperience]

Seriously! I wonder what color she thinks the sky is if her view of reality is this warped...

[@rolandhansen812]

OMG, Really? OPs brother generously offered 5,000 but that's not good enough. And just how is it NOT OPs fault he/she doesn't have a lot of money. Did brother force you to have children young. Did he make you not go to college? OP made his/her life choices and it's not brother's obligation to fund those choices regardless of how much $$ Bro does or does not have.

[@janet6421]

Brother could go petty and send her 5,000 pounds of something else to her wedding venue. Does she want another 15,000 lbs of organic fertilizer delivered or is 2.5 tons enough BS?

[@shaylynnejones1725]

Story 5- Holy SHIT. I'm a single mom trying to do a rent to own on a $27,000 trailer. $20,000 is life changing money for a lot of people and it's just part of your wedding bill?!?

[@SuperSpecies]

20000 pounds is a lot more than $20000

[@ineedhoez]

Don't do it. Unless the land is included. You will get screwed. You own the trailer (depreciating asset) but you don't own the land. If they raise the rents to 5000 a month, you will have to move your trailer. Moving a trailer is expensive and most people lose the trailer because they can't make rent. Please look into the naca program. It is a pain in the ass but you can buy a home with no down payment, no closing costs, no pmi. They do manual underwriting so your credit score is not a problem. You also need to find a new skill/education. 27k is just not enough to live.

[@bangeryun94]

​@@SuperSpeciesno it's not. Twenty thousand pounds is equivalent to roughly 27,000USD

[@SuperSpecies]

​@@bangeryun94 that's 135%

[@trilbynhiss]

@@ineedhoez I live in a 2003 "trailer" (I prefer manufactured home) that I bought seven years ago for $47K and it's doubled in price on the local real estate market. Also, she didn't say she only makes $27K, that's the price of the trailer.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I think OP not liking Justin is just _more_ reason to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. OP doesn't even like him yet they're standing up for him meanwhile instead of doing the same and standing up for _her son,_ Sister just tells them to "fuck off". I think I'm starting to understand where Justin got his behavior from. Story 2: "You could have just said no" Oh you mean like he did several times just a minute ago but you ignored him and kept pressuring and cornering him until he finally snapped? "You acted like a snob, you could have been nicer" he _was_ nicer, you stomped all over him as a result. Don't stomp all over a person and their boundaries and expect them to be a saint afterwards.

[@sarahsbakingcreations]

Second story: as a type A person, I'd be reasonably PISSED at my partners father for REPEATEDLY putting me and my partner in a position to cancel our plans on even just two occasions! OP is justifiably annoyed. He should still try to make the wedding, but is NOT the asshole!

[@lorifiedler13]

Postpone the Halloween party to the 31st and let bf know you will not alter your plans again.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 5: yes definitely the AH. Takes no responsibility for her life choices and says it's not her fault she doesn't have a lot of money.

[@jas1007]

Story 4: One twist of tip culture is that waiters in expensive restaurants can earn so much more than those in regular restaurants, they can even earn more than the manager if they get the right customers. But 30% is on the generous side by any measure, even if he was used to picking up bigger piles of cash. The "tipping is optional" mindset is usually a butthole's mindset, but the fact that legally it IS optional means that rare instances of trully bad service can be punished.

[@bloonh8tr619]

Hi Mark. Thank you for being so open about your life experience and parents. Your last video with the story about the parent hiding their condition hit home for me. This week last year I lost my grandma to Covid and the last I saw her was a video call and what I wouldn't realize be her death bed. You opening up about how you would accept being the AH about pushing your mom to tell you what's going on. You are strong and I am grateful to have found you because it's been a rough week remembering her passing, thank you again Mark for sharing your life experience with us, you've helped a lot. Also, it's almost Christmas, maybe it's time to watch the movie you and your father loved. Thanks Mark

[@MarkNarrations]

Ah Bloon much love to you my friend.

[@yukirenzu4777]

You i

[@JUMALATION1]

Story 4: I would have to work 2.5 hours extra in my OFFICE job to earn that tip (provided he got to keep it all himself). I am somewhat unfamiliar with the tipping culture, but still, the *AUDACITY*

[@michaeldowson6988]

I don't frequent restaurants like that, but 30% seems excessive.

[@vagrantmessiah]

Story 2: NTA, how many times was OP expected to say no? I very much doubt he's Bob the Builder, so why should HE fix that woman's daughter?

[@mericawillis2338]

BOB THE BUILDER! CAN HE FIX IT?! 🤣🤣🤣

[@anthonygilmour6236]

Yeah but he would remove rotten wood not build a house with rotten wood 🤷 lol

[@cheskydivision]

$50 is a big tip on a 150$ bill. Glad op got their money back

[@LunaMane]

In story two, OP is not the arsehole and once again I make the argument of imagine if the genders were reversed. Everyone would be shouting no is a full sentence, the person is a sexual predator to be, ect. No is a full sentence for guys too. And honestly OP was being super nice trying not to bring up how the daughter has addiction issues. The mother should have taken that and left it alone because I know other guys who would have torn her and the daughter a new one in their self esteem.

[@aleiah.]

belive i'm a woman and if genders were reversed will be the same crap, i had to live this time and time again even in differents countries i'm so angry for this, i' ve been stalked at work the guy even stole my info when he search throu the rrhh, and everyone thought it was "cute" because he was in love, he opened my locker with my stuff, he try to follow me home and i was so scared when he try to do that, at some point i was rude with him and i was the bad one because "look he brings you chocolates!", i threw everything on the nearst bin but no he didn't understand, the only way he stopped was when i just quit my job, now i'm an imigrant working alone till few weeks ago where this guy saw me and now every time i finish my job at 11pm it's waiting for me and trying to hit on me and what my mom said??? don't be rude with him he just have a crush on you he is not a bad guy, i was so angry it's like i have to pity every man who likes me even when they don't understand the NO. were are adults this crap it's like teen age crap, and i'm too old for this. i totally can understand a no but it's amazing who ofter men can't or won't accept a no. they think a no it's yes and fu** off, i'm all yours. this is so commom most of my female friends went throu this and one it's in therapy for abuse, so yeah not just because genders were reversed will be better, also people who see this situation and think it's "romantic" are even worst

[@LunaMane]

@@aleiah. Mother Mary on a millwheel, that's terrible. I'm sorry you have to endure that crap. I don't suppose the police are any help? Keep track of all this so there's a paper trial so you can get a restraining order. I'm not saying that women don't deal with this or downplaying what they deal with, of course. I'm saying that the mother, her friend and the daughter should take that same energy and learn to accept the no OP gave them. Why OP's mother would let a person with addiction problems get involved with their own son is beyond me too. And it doesn't matter if they're pretty because the dope will make short work of that.

[@aleiah.]

@@LunaMane nah police took it like this isn't enough and "that's how you flirt and get in love" , i lost the trust on police since a while ago this is kinda normal and when i was almost kidnap by a creep they never even came. later a found out that man thought i was a minor and he already molested (you know what he did) 3 girls. specially now that i'm an immigrant (even if i have the nationallity) it's like "you don't have enough right to do this." meh mothers often are like that just for the gusto of "shipping" and "grandkids", just an example my parents and my family that they just want to see a a grandkid with that look like me, often parents sees you like a puppy to breed, it's awful but it's normal even if the prospect isn't really good like in op's case. and in op's story he have the plus that the mother and the other woman are close friends so they also might want to be family with their kids getting married and her son taking this "Poor girls and save her like a hero, so romantic"

[@LunaMane]

@@aleiah. That's terrible. I'm truly sorry. I don't suppose you have relatives or friends who could scare this creep off - or a way to report to the state about the molester? I'm sorry that this is such lame advice and I wish I could help. Ugh, that's beyond stupid. The whole "grandkids" and "make the boy rescue the girl" gusto. Girls aren't owed a prince charming, nor are guys owed a princess. And I don't get what the grandchildren obsession is. The parents often push up daisies either before a kid is born or after they reach elementary school.

[@aleiah.]

@@LunaMane don't worry it's life and it's quite common, at least I have it better than other friends or girls. I try my best to protect myself. Yes it is stupid!! Parents complain about their parents doing the same but they repeat the story, they see their kids as an extension of they self and with the authority to dictate what they want as they own us and our life because "I'm your parent" and "it's time to do what I want because it's what I did when I was your age". As I said probably mom is day dreaming with her friend and op and the daughter are their toys . Terrible poor op but at least he mark his boundaries so I'm happy for him. I truly hate people shipping real people trying to play cupid.

[@lisakaz35]

Story 1: is Justin being bullied and abused? Maybe he avoids them for a reason and OP should talk to him? Edit: Glad I picked up rightly. WooHoo -- Radar is working.

[@Digitalfairy]

Yeah, too many people are being way too dismissive about BIL's treatment of Justin.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - OP's mom AND Carla are the absolute a-holes here. OP DID try to say no, several times, but this woman refused to take it as a polite declining of her offer and kept pushing. After that, whatever OP said was perfectly justified. He tried to be nice 'busy', 'not interested', etc but that wasn't good enough. Tough beans.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

And with a mother like those two OPs the only same one involved in that post.

[@darlieoneeleven]

Shifty waiter: I would leave a bad review and call his boss. This is NOT acceptable.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

“You could’ve just said no!” He DID

[@AntisocialclubSJ]

Waiting for story 5’s op to say something that would make her NTA only for her to dig the hole deeper, hilarious.

[@Lisapizzza]

I've caught a cold and been drinking a lot of tea for my throat and listening to your video makes it feel like I'm at some tea party gossiping with guests

[@memorysdancer]

I love this 😀 I feel the same!

[@gaxalee7392]

“None of your business” does not apply when someone is being abused, harassed, bullied, assaulted, stolen from, etc., and Justin was being bullied/emotionally abused by his father while his mother just watched. It absolutely is Op’s business since Op has enough heart and guts to stand up against that asshole BIL.

[@Digitalfairy]

Yeah, and those who say that it's harmless teasing and "toxic masculinity is ahoax" are idiots like that Axe Pagode is claiming.

[@wplains]

Oh boohoo Justin will be scarred for life. Grow up! 🙄

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

@@wplains He's being bullied by homophobes for having interest in men and maybe feminine things. That can be damaging as hell. Sounds like you need to go read up on childhood development

[@wplains]

@@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813 Homophobes? I thought he had a girlfriend? People are such snowflakes nowadays, everything is offensive. 🙄

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

@@wplains Yes. Homophobes. They've been mocking him for having a crush on a guy. Did you even listen to the story or were you busy being a bigot?

[@AnymousScreams]

Nah. Story 3 is NTA for me. FIL did this twice. Let fiancee go to the wedding and have the party anyway. Fool me once, shame on me, but fool me twice, shame on you. FIL has a pattern.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. So the bully didn’t liked being called out and doesn’t think he’s funny. Op, good on you for standing up for your nephew. Story 1 Update: still NTA. Thank you for letting your sister vent and giving your nephew a shoulder to cry on. Hopefully your sister will leave the pos that’s her husband. Story 2: mom: ‘you should have said no.’ Op: I did you choose not to listen. Story 4: I was tempted to say YTA, but he chased you to your car and demanded more money! NTA. Story 5: YTA. YTA. YTA! You’re not entitled to his money. He doesn’t owe you anything for your life choices.

[@brigidtheirish]

Story 4: And they left a *fifty* as a tip when the service was *terrible!* I wouldn't have tipped at all. Yeah, I know how tipping and wages work for restaurant staff, but *that* staff *didn't do their jobs.* You don't do the work, you don't get the pay.

[@fredferd965]

I think its funny when people bagger you into doing something you don't want to do and you keep saying no. Then they go "but why?" If you lie to spare there feelings they get mad that it's a lame reason and if you tell the truth you're mean and didn't have to be so harsh. If you don't want to know why someone said no then: 1) Don't ask repeatedly and 2) Don't ask why they said no.

[@jakeand9020]

Story 1: Holy sh*t, BIL sounds a bit like my brother years ago. His, at the time, seven year old son liked "girly things," and raised concerns about that meaning his son was gay and mentioned forcing more "masculine" intrests on him. After just staring at him for a couple minutes I finally told him: First, liking "girly" things doesn't mean sh*t. Second, "so fuc*ing what if he is?" He's either gay or he's not forcing anything won't change that. Then I asked if he wanted a relationship with his son or who his son pretended to be until he didn't have to be around him anymore. For context my brother's favorite song around that time was 'I hope I'm' "half the dad you didn't have to be" because it really reflects his veiws on our dad, or, more precisely, my dad, his step dad. If you're not familiar with the song, the title sums it up. Turns out my, now 24 year old, nephew is bi, him and my brother still have a decent relationship. Though I did have to threaten to beat some sense into my brother a couple times over the years, but never actually had to.

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 5: As soon as she said "magical moment" my brain immediately goes "yep, bridezilla". Such entitlement!

[@kytrensol9777]

"You're the man in a relationship"? So what does that make me? A damsel-in-distress? I'm perfectly happy loaning clothes so long as I get them back in mint condition, and I don't care if the one borrowing it is a boy or a girl.

[@EllieC130]

Erm no it makes you the Wilson volleyball, duh.

[@kytrensol9777]

@@EllieC130 why?

[@jackspring7709]

Story 2: and of course let's not forget what a complete AH OP's own mother is in all of this, too.

[@clairebear-96]

Lmfaooo normally i’m all for tipping and would never take a tip back but who tf does that ?? that waiter is ridiculous nta at alllll 30% is great and the husband’s reaction was hilarious and legendary

[@TheRedowl101]

Story 2: he said no, they just wouldn't listen until he was forced to be mean.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

And he wasn't even mean since he stated facts.

[@amilikestea433]

Years later OP will complain about how her brother doesn't want to support his nieces or nephews even though she has excluded him from her life starting with not inviting him to the wedding.

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

Pay For My Wedding Story: If YOU can't afford to pay for a $20,000 Wedding, YOU should not be having a $20,000 wedding!! Good Lord the entitlement of OP is off the charts!!!

[@Buff_Helpy]

Story 1: actually when you remember she doesn't even like the kid her actions become even more selfless since she still helped the kid.

[@Digitalfairy]

Darn right.

[@babybookworm003]

You can love someone but not like them. I have a neice with mental health issues I love her but I don’t like her I also wouldn’t let anyone bully her despite my dislike

[@t.matthies3049]

That's unconditional love for you. I'm glad Justin as at least one person in his life who can give that to him. He sadly isn't getting that from his parents.

[@allisoncastle]

@@t.matthies3049 I realllyyy hope the mom is truly getting better at dealing with this and starting to become more accepting… (obviously it seems to be a very slow process), because she failed him so fucking badly. Actually, I have no hope. I went back and listened to the update again, and it seems like she’s not gonna change, and is only “going along to get along” until OP leaves. And then it’s back to the same horrible shit.

[@angelajaime5155]

In my culture, is very normal for the entire family to pay for weddings, ALL the family contributes for all the little things, offering to pay for stuff is the norm, but ASKING for money, and then GETTING MAD is completely out of line, unacceptable.

[@wendyhadley2764]

Last story. I don't understand if it's a cultural thing for some places but I've been seeing stories about people asking others for money for weddings. I've never heard of anything like this before I started to read Mark's narrations. The bride and groom and maybe from the parents they saw how much money they could spend and that's what they spent going out begging was not done.

[@catherineholt1149]

reddit is only a very very tiny sample of people who get married thankfully

[@wendyhadley2764]

@@catherineholt1149 Good point! I was hoping it wasn't some new trend to have a ridiculously expensive wedding.

[@someoneintheshadow45]

The update shows it wasn’t just toxic masculinity, it was also biphobia.

[@jennilynne1977]

That last story, she is TA. What entitlement she is showing asking for £20,000 after her brother politely offered her £5000. Good grief.

[@louellacharlton4425]

WOOHOO Thanks Mark

[@lisakaz35]

Help pay?! WTF? How much does that OP want to spend on her wedding that she needs 20K quid as a "contribution"? JFC. Don't some weddings turn out fine with a lot less?

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 4 - Even nowadays, 30% is a good-sized tip. Further, in most restaurants, a waiter confronting a customer about the tip being "not enough" would be enough to get him in serious trouble, if not flat-out fired, if his boss(es) found out! Story 5 - 5,000 is a nice gift. A gift, NOT a God-given right. OP sounds entitled af!

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 2: She wants her daughter off her hands. She is hoping to pawn her off onto OP. That way she isn't responsible for the daughter's actions. NTA story 3: Firstly OP's already made plans, second, OP's plans are just as important as the boyfriend's plans. Let the boyfriend go alone. OP needs to stop letting him railroad her into doing only what he wants. NTA

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! Hope you're still doing well and I wish you a great night!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too🤗🤗💜💜

[@karenturner9423]

I was a waitress in college, and never EVER asked/demanded a tip. That's SO effed up I can't even process it.

[@paigeknight5844]

Makes my day feel great being called a cheeky so and so 😀

[@Mapache095]

Omg I teared up on Justin’s story!!!

[@FlamesofJagger]

That 🎶 Am I the buuuuuttthhhoooolllleeee 🎶 is literally music to my ears as I just got off from work. Hope everyone is doing well. Have a great day/evening/night to Mark, Poppy, and the family. Much love 💘 ❤ 💗 💕 💛 💙 💘 Waffle 🧇 Gaaannnnggggg!!!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗

[@kellypatterson8506]

My standard tip is 30% and that's a damn fine tip I were taken it back too just for the attitude alone

[@karendaniel620]

Waiting for a restaurant to cook my delivery order. Your voice is just what I need.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#4 - I would have been tempted to go back inside and ask the manager if they regularly allow or encourage their wait staff to follow patrons out to the parking lot and demand more money. that is just not done - especially in high-end steakhouses! 30% is for excellent service with no wait times and they were more than generous leaving that much for mediocre service.

[@momotaro1236]

Story 3: I think you should show up for part of it but up for the whole thing. They’ve already shown that they’re prone to canceling events

[@Lix88]

About the tip one, I once had a similar experience. My brother and me were in New York for a two week study trip, and one night they let us roam free, so we decided to have dinner at Planet Hollywood. After the dinner, we were running late, so we just gave them a 50 for the tab and the tip (the tab was around 40$ I think), when they stopped us to tell us the tip was too low, and even though I told the waitress that we weren't familiar with tipping culture and that we were in an hurry, she kept insisting (with two obviously foreigner teenagers) that the receipt said that you had to tip a certain percentage, so I just gave her another 5 dollar bill (because the difference was of like, two dollars) and rushed out. Still pissed

[@JUMALATION1]

Story 5: HMMM. 20,000 for a wedding? If getting married is that damn important, pop down to the magistrate and have the janitor and the cleaning lady as witnesses. A "dream wedding" could most certainly be arranged for the very generous offer of 5,000 from your brother if you don't demand limousines and a designer dress. Jesus. I'm slowly starting my own wedding planning and sums like that for a wedding just blows my mind. (Also if you already have a kid, my own personal opinion is that the wedding would be more of a formality now than some sort of princess day.)

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story 3 have your Halloween party! You wasted a vacation for this wedding BS….just let fiancé go to wedding and have your Halloween party. Last story is hilarious, sister makes poor choices and can’t afford to be a princess on her wedding day. So she expects him to pay 20 grand for her day. What a gross greedy sister OP is. I wouldn’t give you a penny towards the wedding or anything else. Your having a kid doesn’t make you special and entitled to anyone else’s money.

[@lovesbriardi]

To the restaurant OP = I love your hubby for how he handled that entitled person who followed you demanding more money.

[@maurer3d]

Story 3: NTA,, you already have plans, this is exactly why you usually send out save the date cards a year or more before your wedding, and avoid major holidays when planning too.

[@cheskydivision]

No one is required to help pay for anyone else’s wedding. Op wants nearly an average persons yearly salary.

[@fate_clotho9596]

My wedding cost $700! £20,000! Holy shit! WTF! That entitled bridezilla needs a wake-up call!

[@Digitalfairy]

Story 1 NTA I applaud OP for being the 100% truly concerned relative unlike that hypocrite of a BIL, even if her nephew wasn't always the best person. People! BIL and sister all but confirmed to be blatantly homophobic, the sister even broken down confessing they moved because Justin got a crush on another boy and didn't want anyone else to figure it out in the update! And those who say that it's harmless teasing and "toxic masculinity is a hoax" are blind idiots like that cyberbully Axe Pagode.

[@jakeand9020]

Story 4: "30% wasn't high enough" NTA. Should have replaced the $50 with a penny.

[@Mewse1203]

"You could have just said no" He did...multiple times...very nicely

[@Josku2411]

Oop good timing while i finish up my Squid game mask making for the day(Basically one final sowing bit for today and then i continue tomorrow)

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Oooo cool

[@TNTMAN360]

I always seem to find your comment but I've never commented back I wish you the best with sewing I never was good at it

[@Josku2411]

@@TNTMAN360 Oh yeah i haunt this place alot bc well i dunno it's a hobby at this poimt and i'm not great at it myself but with a small blood sacrifice(aka pricking myself a couple of times) and a bit of struggling i seem to manage pretty well

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the second store you're not in the wrong here you pretty much told your mom's friend that you will not interested in dating her daughter and then when you gave out the reasons in the post no job College Dropout and a drug addict of course you're not going to date her. And when you finally told your mom's friend the real reason why your mom's friend gets upset with you and your mom is up there with you too. You're not in the wrong here and I strongly advise you prepare yourself to distance yourself on your mom's friend and maybe even your mom for a while maybe get your own place because let's be real here your mom is going to put her friendship before you and she knows that she would rather have have a son that's a pushover than to have a son with some backbone and you got backbone and she doesn't like it

[@jakeand9020]

Story 2: "If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question."

[@nikkid7838]

My daughter is a server at a high end steak restaurant and I can’t count how many times she actually gets stiffed! She’s would have been over the moon for a 30% tip. Here in the states severs get paid below minimum wage AND have to pay taxes on a % of the tips whether they get them or not. That server was way out of line!

[@alyzu4755]

Carla wasn't being nice, she was trying to push her loser daughter onto OP. He said no multiple times, and she wouldn't stop. She needs to take care of her own crap and not expect someone else to do it for her. I usually try to overtip, if I can afford it, because I know restaurant workers are severely overworked and underpaid. But a few years ago, when I was home alone with my very young kids, I ordered takeout and gave a cash tip. The delivery guy, who was very large, stepped into my house and said "Is this all I get?" Honestly, he was pissed off and menacing, so I basically threw more money at him, ushered him out, and shut and locked the door because I was scared. Then I called the delivery service and told them what had happened. I'm not usually a Karen, but I felt he was waaaaaay out of line. If he wasn't happy with the tip he could've told me. He didn't have to step into the house and get in my face. Anyway. Just 2 cents.

[@Gwendolyn21may]

Here everyday hope you have a wonderful day and night 😘 Love your singing

[@Joxman2k]

I would like to just point out that out of all Reddit/AITA type of channels you are now my favorite :) Other channels either constantly mispronounce common words or do voices when reading. In you videos you clearly have an animation describing when you are giving your opinion. Plus you have a great voice for narration. I am now subscribed :)

[@MarkNarrations]

An absolute honour, I'll try to not let you down :)

[@Joxman2k]

@@MarkNarrations I've watched many of your videos and I love the consistency of production, and agree with your opinions :)

[@elevin8858]

Knitter/crochet artist here: I love huge sweaters- my favorite sweater from the 80s was a royal blue oversized one that I wore until it fell apart. When I made myself another huge sweater, my husband loved to wear it around the house.

[@susanlayton2143]

The amount of money OP's brother has or makes is NONE of OP's business. Asking him to help with her wedding, then telling him that what he offered is not enough then saying he refused to help is some real entitlement on her part and it makes her TA.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 1: I have no sympathy for the sister. It sounded like she was making it about her, and was whining and complaining. She IS a horrible mom. She’s not standing up for her son and is letting him be emotionally abusive. She absolutely didn’t have a breakdown. She just was fishing for sympathy. She doesn’t feel like a bad mom. And op should call her out

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - since the party was not already arranged, just go to the wedding -- if it even actually occurs this time! but in the future, since OP said this kind of shit always happens, just make all holiday and special occasion plans far in advance so when their next hair-brained scheme to do something pops up two weeks before the event the excuse is, 'sorry, we've been promised to do XYZ for months now and cannot cancel this late'. make sure to put down those boundaries now!

[@raeishimura]

Last story.... WTF did I hear? Seriously "you don't have kids, give me this huge, life changing amount of money or you're selfish and I won't let you come to my wedding!" Ugh... Wow, what entitlement. It's incredible. Just, such a fantastic level of Karen from this post.

[@SylviaFey]

Story 4: NTA. The ONLY reason, if there's any at all, to chase someone down like that is to THANK them for the tip. I would have been way more than grateful if I got half that much. That's still a good-sized tip at half, for me anyway.

[@Nico6th]

who the heck would tip over 30% ?? I understand 5-10%, maybe 15-20% in a country where tipping is way more required. But 30%? nope

[@candicewaits9271]

The absolute GALL of this entitled woman asking her brother for that much damn money for a wedding. WTF. She's the AH.

[@willj24]

Story 3: absolutely NTA! It’s boy who cried Wolf territory, the OP already canceled plans and made allowances for the wedding, how many times are they expected to do that? Suppose the OP cancels these plans again, and then a week before the in-laws cancel again, will the hive mind continue to insist that the OP is TA if it happens a third time? A fourth? To me, this is like a wedding present. If the OP sent one the first time and then the wedding was canceled, they’re not required to buy another one. Same with this, the OP owed the social nicety of canceling plans for a wedding. They’ve done so. They don’t owe it to these people to do it repeatedly, especially since the betrothed don’t seem to have any problem with the idea of summoning people to a wedding on short notice. Live your life, you made allowances for their wedding, they didn’t use it. They got the one manners dictate.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Lol what $50 tip is pretty good.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Story 2: NTA- OP DID try to be nice about it

[@StormyPeak]

Bridezilla... don't have a lot of money...but wants an EXPENSIVE wedding? And they think everyone else should pay for it? I hope everyone backs out of paying for that wedding.

[@leegraves8878]

The tip story they wouldn't have been there that late if the service was better. And 200 dollars for a steak dinner that is two weeks of groceries for a family of three ridiculous. Last story that green eyed monster is a witch.

[@CooperGal24]

First Story is NTA. Just because Justin was a bratty kid, he’s STILL human. He was ALSO being bullied by the Step Brother and Father, so OP did the right thing by standing up for him! Said Step Family Members are the assholes here, SUPER toxic and SUPER cruel, not to mention a couple of vile masculinity bullies that needs a punch in the face with reality! Also, why are the other people saying “You’re stepping over the boundaries.” to OP! She saw two ADULT men bullying a TEEN BOY because of a SWEATER! MAYBE if everyone who told OP that she’s stepping over the boundaries thinks about the situation that both Justin AND the Sister were in, they wouldn’t scold OP for standing up against the toxic people that are vile and hateful! Also, Sister needs to get her head out of her ass and see that she’s not only a failure as a parent, but ALSO as much of a victim in this as Justin.

[@memorysdancer]

Good point but.... Where did you get 2 adult men from? It was just the sister and her husband. No step anyone involved. (Spelling)

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

It's the mom and dad though? There's no two adult men in this story.

[@memorysdancer]

@@SilverstreamPJ28 yes exactly

[@CooperGal24]

@@memorysdancer Step Dad and Uncle.