Husband Asking To POSTPONE Our Wedding The Day Before Because Of His Brothers Health r/Relationships

[@MarkNarrations]

Just a warning to all about some replies to comments on the channel. I was made away on Twitter this morning that there's been dodgy replies to comments using my pfp and using my name within their user also attempting to get you to message them for "prizes". Obviously don't respond to them or get in touch with them as this is not me of course. Any I find I will be removing and reporting myself but please be aware if I miss any as they will come back daily and it's a constant battle in the background with these types of accounts. Thank you and much love you cheeky of the cheekies!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Can you word filter your comments so they get filtered?

[@TsukiKageTora]

You and every other channel on KZbin. KZbin has this issue and people report it and they do nothing, sitting on their butts as kids and teenagers get scammed. Hope someday the higher ups are held reliable

[@DoomChibi99]

I always report those types of accounts. Don't worry, Mark. We got your back

[@actuallynotsteve]

This is a really common scam on KZbin right now, I win prizes from channels I'm subbed to almost daily.

[@CarlottaHall]

❤️❤️❤️

[@TsukiKageTora]

If this was such an ongoing issue, why are you marrying him? He’s going to put his brother before you and your potential kids for the rest of your life or until/if you wise up and leave him. It’s fine for him to worry about his brother and cancel plans, but this is YOUR wedding where he is supposed to marry you, the one he plans to start a family with. Just nope ETA: no… this dude legit tries to take OP’s medication and support animals and triggers ptsd from her past where family take her things for the “more important” family members just to give to his brother cause “they’re mine since we’re getting married” She is marrying a guy who is exactly like her family members, OP run and dodge the slow moving bullet

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

My thoughts too. This isn't a surprise or new, wake up now before kids are involved.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@janedoe885]

The medication and pet stealing attempts alone should have been dealbreakers imo. Really don't think OP should have gone through with the wedding.

[@pippo17173]

Ya like the husband is playing into the brothers hand and knowing what their father is like, I guess we know where he got it.

[@UnderTheTableGremlin]

@@janedoe885 100% same here. That’s such a twisted and disgusting thing to do. Dude is a walking red flag.

[@Joe-lb8qn]

I was gobsmacked when they got married. This woman has voluntarily enrolled herself into a crapshow. I doubt it will end well. People generally dont change and certainly not at the drop of a hat. They'll come back from honeymoon and it will all start again. I sincerely wish them well but i think experience is against them. I cant believe she put up with all that crap for so long in the first place.

[@TraceyBoyland]

YESSSS. Why did she continue in the relationship waaay before the proposal

[@curtisalex456]

She chose the crapshow!!!!!! No sympathy from me!!!!

[@ivorynk752]

I want updates.

[@TraceyBoyland]

@@curtisalex456 me too

[@lyranorthernstar3802]

I can imagine he will call them all the time while on honeymoon

[@TopazFire15]

I would’ve broken up the moment he started taking my medication to give to his brother, like of ALL the things that can be manipulated into a positive light, that’s the one that can never be forgiven

[@kentario1610]

I get voluntarily giving your own medication, but _taking someone else's_ is... I can't imagine it. It's abhorrent.

[@Pyrieltmj]

Right. Why is she with a guy who doesn’t value her? I feel for any kids they have because husband will drop them for brother in a heartbeat. I give them a year tops.

[@RequiemPoete]

Honestly, that part was the least issue for me. Everything she said was OTC, so someone else taking it, isn't really an issue so long as it's replaced. However the cats are where I draw the line, as well as banging on the door during sex.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Taking other people's medication is so messed up. She needs to leave him, she's not his main priority and he's stealing.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

I couldn't believe this was only slightly mentioned in the comments

[@michaelwoods3651]

Wow! The brother has issues and is manipulative. Their relationship sounds incredibly unhealthy and co dependent. OP shouldn’t have to deal with the brothers issues for the rest of her life.

[@pippo17173]

Hearing their dad is very manipulative, it explains where he got it.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@pippo17173 yep. She shouldn't have agreed to marry him. This is a pattern of behavior so like I don't really feel like she gets to be upset about it since she's KNOWN this is how it is. She's KNOWN all along her boyfriend/fiance / husband will always choose brother over her. I think she's one of those women who truly believes that once she's married the man is going to change completely and everything she doesn't like about the relationship will be completely fixed. She either needs to accept this is how it's ALWAYS going to be or don't accept and leave. She can't change him she can't control him and he will just resent her for it if she tries. Does she really want her husband to miss the birth of their kids, and be an absent parent because every time the kids needs something the brother does too and he chooses brother? The husband is weak and co-dependent and the brother is manipulative and co-dependent. But the only person she can control is herself. What did she think would happen?

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

I feel like the guy is too nice. I really get the feeling she emotionally manipulates him the same way the brother does. It was weird how she downplayed the brothers panic attack and then goes "while he was out i was having a panic attack!" I've had 2 or 3 panic attacks in my life and I genuinely thought I was dying so I wouldn't downplay anyone having one. Everything she says about the brother, the brother says about her and they're both right lol

[@bellasmom2597]

The BF has a serious issue in his relationship with his bro. This is doomed to fail.

[@sfsin3380]

@@Aaron-kj8dv I think OP was trying to make the opposite point. OP has a panic attack no big deal his brother needed him more. Brother had a panic attack everything needs to get canceled because brother needs him more.

[@ArcaneNim]

Oof. On a relisten, the brother is ten years older than OP and Fiance. I had assumed this was a YOUNGER brother who hadn't finished physically maturing, but nope. This is someone who displaying manipulative behavior and distance is needed. I hope the brother receives mental health help. Well everyone, really.

[@dimitritucker1077]

I think the brother doesn't *want* to change.

[@bautistalover]

Yeah he definitely has mental health issues

[@theduckylady1012]

Agreed. I'm also concerned about them wanting to buy a duplex... How long before nightmare brother manipulates younger brother that he HAS to live next door to them, and for free, of course...

[@PrimateProductions]

What does _physically_ maturing have to do with anything?

[@carolsimpson4422]

@@PrimateProductions the brain isn't finished developing til early to mid 20s. Since he's well older then that,he's not still developing, growing, changing-he's set in his ways

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

OP: **describes father** Me: Okay, yeah, I get that...troubled, but sounds like he at least took responsibility for himself to not inflict his issues on OP...hope he gets it together someday OP: My mother was good but **proceeds to describe horrific abuse** Me: .......NO. NO, SHE IS NOT GOOD, OP, WTF No wonder OP married this man...holy hell...

[@pebble5478]

I was thinking the same thing! Poor OP…😢

[@meganjones2093]

I wouldn’t have forgiven her for that and for the anxiety that follows…. That’s just incredibly shitty of the mother

[@pebble5478]

@@meganjones2093 Yep, I wouldn’t have either. It’s the saying goes, “All kids deserve parents but not all parents deserve kids”

[@salt7625]

Yeah, honestly...op deserves better, it doesn't feel like this relationship will ever help build them up, only tear them further down

[@meganjones2093]

@@pebble5478 I agree with that saying

[@alg94]

op just screwed herself. honey, your husband will always care about his brothers issues more than he will ever care for you. whenever he is given the opportunity to choose between helping his brother or his wife, he will choose his brother every time.

[@BNezzy]

The replies on Story one i thought were wildly harsh and insensitive. Did no one thought what it would be like to be in the fiancés shoes? Having to take the burden on instead of his parents, being what sounds like a good person who does want to see people suffer get taken advantaged of by a manipulator or what is really sounds like a person who has several major mental disorders. Sounds like a lot of repliers have not been around people like that and have no idea how insensitive and mean they are being. Been bombarded by his most obvious mental disordered brother, getting his heart yank and pulled on by him, put in the middle, left with not knowing what to do, while also being most likely scared to being this up to his fiancé since she to major mental issues too. I honestly felt bad for him through the whole story. When you recognize your partner has a hard time setting boundaries and is a obvious too good of heart person, she needs to step in as the person in the relationship that sets boundaries. Its a partnership, this whole, its your family your problem is wrong.

[@kristelneedtoknow3207]

Don't cancel anything break up with him have a family party. Take a friend on the honeymoon and leave his ass. She sounds young enough to find someone else, someone who will treat her like a partner who considers her first. Op doesn't understand it's already over. Honestly she should be happy that they don't have kids and can walk away from this train wreck.

[@TraceyBoyland]

Facts

[@poohbear4515]

I read about a bride who I think fiance ran off, or something, but she had the most epic and amazing party, showing that even if she didn’t get married, she had a great time being around her friends and family.

[@jennifersmith-clark6418]

It's what I would have done too.

[@scottbrowder8304]

goodness gracious that first story. it's obvious her fiance's brother is trying to prevent them getting married and trying to break them up. he's using histrionics and over-playing his anxiety based hypochondria to disrupt their plans, and that's his established patterns. he obviously doesn't like OP and doesn't want her marrying his brother.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

I honestly think OP has a chance of dragging her fiance out of the FOG. A slim one at that, but I root for her. I feel like she will grow the spine in the moment of need. I know, I know, but I like to hope.

[@RedCeltay]

He doesn't want him to marry anyone. If they break up whoever he dates next, the bro will treat the same. I can't help but think of the moms that are like this.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Yep exactly my point! He's "in therapy" but I doubt he'll accept he needs serious help for the issues he has, he can't use his issues as an excuse to break his brother up

[@GMAMEC]

This was my thought too. It’s mighty convenient that he wanted to physically attend the wedding immediately after a “brain tumor” or other major medical issue.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: OP, run fast and run far. Fiancé has shown you over and over and over that his brother will always take priority and that’s never going to change. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if it turned out the brother was sabotaging the wedding. Update: yep, the brother was trying to stop the wedding.

[@katwiltz1134]

Oh he absolutely was picking times and places of jealousy that he could break up. And whether his Panic was real or imagined it really doesn't make a difference it all shows up as a panic attack. And there was definite patterns to what his brother was doing that anybody with one eye and bad eyesight in it could have seen except for when you both grow up and dysfunction.

[@BNezzy]

The replies on Story one i thought were wildly harsh and insensitive. Did no one thought what it would be like to be in the fiancés shoes? Having to take the burden on instead of his parents, being what sounds like a good person who does want to see people suffer get taken advantaged of by a manipulator or what is really sounds like a person who has several major mental disorders. Sounds like a lot of repliers have not been around people like that and have no idea how insensitive and mean they are being. Been bombarded by his most obvious mental disordered brother, getting his heart yank and pulled on by him, put in the middle, left with not knowing what to do, while also being most likely scared to being this up to his fiancé since she to major mental issues too. I honestly felt bad for him through the whole story. When you recognize your partner has a hard time setting boundaries and is a obvious too good of heart person, she needs to step in as the person in the relationship that sets boundaries. Its a partnership, this whole, its your family your problem is wrong.

[@madambutterfly1997]

I’m not convinced fiancé genuinely feels remorse for putting Op on the back burner their entire relationship right up until the wedding.

[@ergotempusvernum]

All parties in story 1 sound absolutely exhausting.

[@Faith12996]

Im still stuck on the fact OP's friends paid for their wedding and honeymoon! That is wild to me. Clearly, I need better friends 😅

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP is a 3rd wheel in her own relationship. There's some janky foolishness going on with the brother. I don't even think it's incestuous, but it's f**king weird

[@itsjustmaddisen]

It’s co-dependancy between the brothers and weird as fuck.

[@lorifiedler13]

His bro needs to call for ambulance if he needs help. Or call someone else.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

Emotional incest is a term that describes this perfectly- it’s not sexual but is bad enough to damage romantic relationships

[@samurailevi49]

I get panic attacks often, it’s a weekly occurrence for me, and *NEVER* in a million years would I force somebody to postpone their wedding. The brother needs anxiety meds and if he refuses that, then the fiancé should stop babying him. You can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

I get it a lot. I would take medication and likely sit in horrible anxiety to try and not even cast ANY pall over a wedding. I would never ever EVER let someone postpone a wedding for my anxiety. That would make me feel awful.

[@melancolielupine2023]

Same. I suffered from daily tachychardia attacks for YEARS. I just stood up trying to breathe and waited for it to go away. I never let MY panic attacks make any drastic impact on others lives. Wtf

[@johnjr7070]

​@@melancolielupine2023 same here, also i need to be alone during the process, no noise. Hungry as heck when it's over. Anxiety is just one part of the brothers behaviour imo.

[@katiecakesl4691]

I asked my husband what he thought of this story. He told me there is nothing short of death that could even remotely make him consider postponing the wedding the day before. He and I both agree it seems like a sign of cold feet and not actually caring. OP is going to have a bad future ahead.

[@b.f.2461]

I mean, it's horrible to have to go through, but people have gotten married literally the day after a loved one has passed away.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Can we start an appreciation thread on what a smooth and mellow voice Mark has? 😍

[@MarkNarrations]

You cheeky so and so!

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@MarkNarrations By the way, your laugh is everything.

[@leeburke723]

Love this idea, this started as the only reason that I was listening 😂😂

[@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan]

Come for the stories...stay for the narration and warmth of character for sure!

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@leeburke723 Yes! Other KZbinrs either use those robotic obnoxious narration voices or their voices are not very pleasing to the ear. Not only that, Mark actually gives his own reactions but reads comments from other redditors. That's what I like. The interaction.

[@destinedtogame]

You don't always need to be nice. Some times you need to be cruel.

[@shaskenka]

Getting married was so stupid of OP. The red flags and issues were in her face the whole relationship.

[@johnpexton3614]

It sounds like the brother doesn’t want his brother to be happy and keeps sabotaging anything and manipulating him. The one getting married needs to evaluate this relationship with his brother.

[@paulastiles5507]

Fiance: Throws off more red flags than a pirate ship on fire. OP: But he's wonderful otherwise! I'm gonna marry him, anyway. The only ones I feel sorry for in this situation are the cats. Those poor cats. I sure hope the crazy brother doesn't hurt them out of spite. Like, girl, the brothers in the show Supernatural are *not* an example of a healthy relationship. If you see that dynamic in real life, for Chuck's sake, run in the opposite direction. You are the recurring guest start girlfriend who's hated by the fandom for interfering with their ship(s) and will get fridged in the penultimate episode of the season to generate manpain for the leads. Take those poor kitties and RUN.

[@historictruecrime5119]

I am so sorry for OP, but this becomes a matter of either fiancé shows up for the wedding or he never shows up again.

[@jgw5491]

Unfortunately he did show up. OP got married, and she is still wallowing in the crap with both her fiance and his brother. What they all really need to do, OP, fiance and brother, is get some serious hardcore therapy about all their own issues.

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@jgw5491 The brother and fiance need to both be double-tapped in the back of the head and declared a self-deletion.

[@Ventura574]

From my personal experience, panic attacks felt more like I was dying, than the couple of times I was close to actually dying.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Same. I once had a doctor command me to get an ambulance because I was SO anaemic that I could have had a heart attack any moment. The ANXIETY while the ambulance was coming made me think I was going to die.

[@amilikestea433]

The nicest way to explain things is for husband to tell brother "Things have to change because that's how life works. Nothing stays the same and we all do our best to accept and adapt to life's changes."

[@OmneyasWISH]

This was starting to give me that Pee-Gate story vibe where the peeing brother was so attached to OP's fiance. Obviously, it is not the same but the neediness of the brother is brutal. I wish OP had done some more homework on healthy relationships and boundaries before all this but she had her own personal issues from the way she was raised. She does deserve better though. I hope her, now husband, can keep his brother in check in the future or it may escalate... Hopefully, he won't pee on her stuff

[@schimpletin8423]

If this was a sister, we would definitely be saying emotional incest. This is deep enmeshment and lack of boundaries.

[@shaloamstrooper5081]

Pee - gate was crazy.

[@aljones6012]

I give it a 99.999% chance the husband quickly backslides now that they are married, and she will be in for years of emotional pain until/unless she divorces him eventually.

[@jessicawolfe5861]

Boundaries are how you create enough space around your heart so you have compassion and love for yourself and others. No boundaries mean you don’t have enough space to hunk or breathe.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

We're going to see more of this OP. The only reason her husband showed up to the wedding is because she threw an ultimatum in his face. Is she willing to do that every time they fight? They're going to have this argument again, I guarentee it.

[@Ashakat42]

If she plans on staying married, she needs to demand moving far away from the brother.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I was gonna say NAH, but it sounds like he's _always_ putting his brother before Op. Leaving them to have a panic attack to help brother with his? Wanting to take Op's emotional support pets to give to his brother? Taking away essential medications for Op to also give to his brother? (And yes, melatonin can count as essential. I have to use it myself now and then because regular sleep medication is _way_ too strong for me) Wanting to postpone the wedding that's literally _the next day_ despite the fact that everything is already booked and likely already paid for would honestly be it for me after everything else that's happened, and that's not even acknowledging that it would upset Op, who's _once again_ being pushed aside for his brother.

[@pippo17173]

His brother out right knows what he is doing. The spam calls sure shows it and the fact the two have a manipulative father, I guess you cam say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[@ratch-gadget]

Oh my gosh Story 1. As Op kept listing things off it got more and more insane! I can’t see how getting into a marriage with this man with how things currently are would turn out well. Her needs are constantly being ignored for the brother, who is not seeking out ways to cope with his issues in a healthy way. He needs support for sure, but mostly from a mental health professional at this point. His behavior is actively harming the people around him. As someone with mental health issues; he should know that bad mental health is never an excuse to treat the people in your life badly. I hope the people in his life help encourage him to attend therapy. And the poor girlfriend needs some support too. Her boyfriend needs to sort out his priorities if he wants a healthy marriage.

[@rhcpempire2278]

Honestly all of them sound exhausting to be around

[@tinak2576]

Did anyone catch how his friends said for months prior to the wedding, the fiancé kept bragging about the preparations? The bulk of which were donated by OP’s wealthy friends. Not that he bragged about marrying the woman of his dreams. Just the wedding. Wow. We’ll get a “Today I Left My Selfish, Social Climbing Husband” post within two years.

[@thebookofgenises]

"I dont understand" is a lie. he understands, he just doesnt want to actually back off. and even if he didnt understand why, he doesnt really need to, he just needs to respect his brother.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: Congratulations on your first marriage! 🙄I don't understand why OP and fiance didn't hash all this out long before the wedding, or even the engagement. What are we going to do if brother has a health crisis (sic)? Fiance needs personal counselling for his own neurotic reactions.

[@Garden366]

Multiple levels of mental illness here in so many people. And I thought my family was insane. This entire group takes the grand prize.

[@historictruecrime5119]

I’m kinda waiting on an update on how mother-in-law dealt with her bothersome son

[@kayemckeeth2301]

Yeah OP, this is on you now. You have dove head first with empty promises and will be dealing with this the rest of your life or until his brother says it's time to leave. He allowed his brother to hinder your progress. I wish I could talk to OP myself and beg her to run.

[@jenniferkay9789]

Should NOT have married him. He will change, for now, but he will go back to enabling his brother, guaranteed.

[@pippo17173]

I understand trying to be there for family but the more this goes on, the more I'm starting to wonder if the brother is using this to keep him in check. Hearing how their dad is manipulative, I guess I can see where he got it from.

[@cryofist]

yes he is, i had a guy use this method to split me and girl at the time up. faked health issues whenever me and her were spending time alone together or had plans till we just grew apart cause i couldnt deal anymore and she was sooooo sure he wasnt faking..the timing of all of his issues is too conveniant

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

4:24 I was done at boyfriend wanting to take the cat to his brother, but he’s taking OPs _meds?!_ Nah, that’s a non negotiable. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

The way the brother is just dismissing and violating boundaries.

[@RenEmell]

When I heard: “We got married.” I let out a guttural sound of distress

[@tinycrimester]

"i don't understand why things have to change" BECAUSE HE SAID SO. JEEZ.

[@avalineriley6809]

It's amusing seeing these and seeing a wedding that absolutely should never happen yet the woman being so delusional she can't just walk away.

[@babybookworm003]

Story 1 op needs to leave this relationship

[@HackiePuffs]

Alright I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt thinking that it’s hard to get out from under that kind of emotional string but he lost me at stealing OP’s medicine and pets because “it’s ours as long as we’re in love”

[@ukchanak]

1st story: Initially, i was getting "me me me" vibes from the brother. Like he wanted attention from his brother and was trying to ruin the wedding. But idk... Oh hell no, i have insomnia and getting those meds is difficult. Insurance won't cover more, and the doctor will be suspicious if you try to get more and pay out of pocket.

[@damiang888]

"there's a salmon sale? spam call" "apparently a grocery sale counts as important"... ... is the brother saitama?

[@caridadchang7895]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the brother is being manipulative because as soon as " I know your wedding is more important than me" was said I knew where this was going The fact OP married him anyway even if he kicked his brother out and blocked him... Girl he'll feel Bad about blocking him in a month and your life Will be hell again. I hope she takes care of herself because aside from her Friends no one else seems to look out for her.

[@DoomChibi99]

Sounds like the brother is trying to sabotage the relationship, like how a giga karen tries to do with their kid's relationship. At least the fiancé managed to wise up before it was too late.

[@MB-wq4fp]

Story 1: Dump the damn fiancé. He has been taking from you for ages. If he asked to cancel months in advance, I would maybe understand but the damn day before? NO! If he can't put up iron clad boundaries with his brother, put the relationship on hold until he does. As for you taking to the brother, NOT YOUR BROTHER, NOT YOUR PROBLEM! All in all, if he can't put you above his brother, he will never be able to. Dump him and find someone who will.

[@sukuna-]

Op’s fiance can marry his own brother if brother is more important than op in every situation possible. I can’t believe op is such a doormat, rather than breaking she postponed her wedding. Way to start a miserable wedding life..

[@Lis_Kid]

The thing with boundaries is that you don't need to understand them to respect them. Simple as that.

[@persephoneszeliga]

DO NOT MARRY THIS DUDE!!!! Why would she marry into this nonsense? OP is stupid. It’s like she’s asking for it. Get the marriage annulled

[@redconvoy]

OP, you need to leave that relationship if he is going to treat you like that!

[@kayburnett9492]

According to the introduction there is a difference of 11years between brothers,not just a couple of years. I dont think life for OP and husband ,especially since there was a duplex mentioned,will be easy.

[@fufufuaru]

a case of "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" huh

[@zariamoonfox5349]

You cannot be expected to cancel a whole wedding the day before. Unless there is an actual death or something.

[@DanglePunch]

Why on earth would you marry someone that required functionally breaking up for your partner to get their shit together for like one time and no evidence they can keep it up

[@jimdob6528]

This situation is where an ultimatum is needed. They should only be used in extreme situations like this.

[@LorienInksong]

Story 1- You don't matter if his brother wants something. YOUR cats YOUR meds YOUR wedding... THROW OUT THE WHOLE MAN. You can't have boundaries, you have your own mental health issues ignored and belittled... you deserve better and this relationship will only make your mental health worse. This is disgusting.

[@eldritchthorne]

I face palmed when I saw she married him. And to decline "No Contact" with the brother? OP is a doormat and can't put boundaries down for herself. Because of this, the brother is going to ignore everything and continue this behavior. She can't come back crying to Reddit in a year or so without being told that she was warned that this would happen when nothing changes. If Fiance caved to the pressure put on by his brother, he's going to allow this to keep happening unless he grows a pair.

[@koribeanOwO]

I haven't even finished the story, but I would have broken up with this man. I know family is a thing, but like the codependency and manipulation is bs.

[@jackchop1576]

The husband is codependent. He's actually selflessly selfish. Meaning he's more into being the martyr than he admits but he manipulates everyone because establishing boundaries makes her look selfish.

[@jmppodcast]

So the guy has an extremely emotionally needy brother and he's getting married to an extremely emotionally needy woman. What a terrible situation for all three of them.

[@AvyFerg]

I am only at the beginning of this story and I already feel like the fiance's brother is a narcissist who had a panic attack because now his brother is going to be putting his attention towards her forever. EDIT: She's proving me right. WTF 😒

[@dandotvid]

"My mother was good, but" then goes on to list many ways in which mother was *ASOLUTELY NOT GOOD!*

[@clarrie93]

I mean, she also said the fiance/husband is nice and then include a list of why he's definitely not

[@giginewbern5162]

This feels like the beginning of a pee gate situation

[@jojoone1099]

Stealing her, giving away her cat, not comforting her, asking to postpone the wedding --- these are red rockets, not red flags.

[@TheMsToffifee]

Thank you Mark for helping me cook dinner every day and fall asleep every night :)

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww an absolute pleasure mate! What we cooking today?

[@OmniscientlyMe]

Let's be honest, we're all thinking the dude probably just said what he needed in the moment to get the OP to go through with the marriage. Only time will tell.

[@maggpiprime954]

The fiancé's brother claiming he understands (mid story) is a crock. He clearly does not. Or if he does, he clearly couldn't care less. I'm glad the kitties are somewhere safe. OP and her new husband need to move out.

[@ponymare1]

Yikes. Well, I hope the two brothers enjoy their marriage, because this is not a supportive or healthy relationship-it’s a codependent, toxic mess. It also seems funny that the brother’s anxiety seems to flare up any time the fiance is focused on another person. It makes me wonder if the brother isn’t living with undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder and the fiancé is his “favorite person”. I know that is an armchair diagnosis, but I’ve had experience with BPD people who act *exactly* like this right down to the panic attacks at important moments.

[@heatherv3417]

The brother is using him as an emotional support pet.

[@heididietrich9800]

Why is she marrying this man? He will never put his wife first. Cancel the wedding? Lose all the money? Walk away.

[@lrock48]

The relationship should've been over the moment the fiance steals meds from OP.

[@jaymel4691]

Boundaries mean nothing unless you actually ENFORCE them.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #1: NTA!! DROP HIM LIKE A HOT POTATO!! The brother can't go the shelter and adopt a pet? He can't go the drugstore and buy his own meds? Give him the ring and tell him to marry his precious brother.

[@LadyRavenEyes]

As some one who has panic attacks if you don't know what is happening they feel like hart attacks or strokes or something else that is killinging. They are th3 single most scary thing that you can feel

[@LadyRavenEyes]

That said this man is using them to game people and control them. I strongly suggest you make your husband to be go to therapy b4 saying I do.

[@maggieleroy3184]

Anyone else immediately thought of Love actually? The poor girl who finally ended up with her crush but was constantly interrupted by phone calls from her brother who was in some sort of care facility? I felt so sorry for her, but the only solution was enforcing boundaries but she wasn’t able to do that.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

1:28 - "Your wedding is more important than my health." Is it just me, or does that sound manipulative as hell?!

[@thedestroyasystem]

I wish more people would understand what setting boundaries means. “Don’t spam call me” isn’t a boundary, because it’s attempting to control what the other person does. “If you continue to spam call me, I will not pick up and lessen contact with you” is a boundary, because it dictates what you will do in response to the other’s actions. Fiancé isn’t ever going to set boundaries, because he isn’t willing my to do anything to show his brother consequences to his actions.

[@dawndoe11]

Since OP married her husband, she needs to get him into therapy. His brother needs help, too, but it seems like that's not going to happen anytime soon. Right now OP and Husband need to get counseling, and Husband needs to see a therapist to help with the boundary-building and unlearning the responses he has. After getting to the end of the video, I think *both* of those two need therapy, if they can find a decent therapist. OP and Husband both need the help with building boundaries and unlearning codependency (though that's more on the husband).

[@VadBlackwood]

OK, so everyone who's older that 31 around me grew up in soviet union. NO ONE DOES WHAT THIS BROTHER DOES, not even that one hypochondriac granny and that other granny that refuses to have any concept of personal boundaries. And what we did have and still have in out soviet/post-soviet space is the tale about the boy who cried "wolf" too many times.

[@pinkesthibiscus]

Wowww. OP’s BPD (no judgement, I have BPD) and trauma are clouding the way she’s navigating this trainwreck relationship. I hope the promises the fiance made at the end are true, even if a full change doesn’t happen overnight, but I’m sceptical. She stayed because she desperately wanted to believe him but it’s an incredibly rocky foundation for a marriage. If someone tried giving away my cat and medication and then left me feeling abandoned and second place, they’d be out the door. Brother is desperately trying to control the fiance & keep him to himself… it’s weird. OP and future kids will ultimately always be second place, even if fiance outwardly starts enforcing boundaries with the brother 🙄

[@qnkendra1523]

On the problematic brother story- thing to remember with things like this- you can ask people to change but the only change you can guarantee is changing how you respond to the problems. People are saying talk to the brother- if he is as manipulative as it reads here that's just extra ammo for his illness. The only person OP should expect to respect the wish for change in this her fiance. But the hardest part is when they do good things and seem sincere but some how you are never first and always second fiddle to the problem person. But also someone tell her he is not a good person for her if he is taking her meds and other support items. I had someone tell me this after a "nice guy" tm relationship ended- everyone said the guy was so nice throughout the drama except for one friend who finally in exasperation of me beating myself up with "everyone says he's a nice guy so what about me made him treat me like this?" said "He wasn't a nice guy to you STOP". I know the american health care system invites creative solutions because of cost but you should never have your meds shorted for someone else- double if they are not getting professional help themselves.

[@katiecakesl4691]

"Outside of his brother everything is healthy" "Outside of the times he neglects me, steals my medications and pets, and emotionally abuses me he is great" No OP. Leave. Immediately.

[@HaliaStone]

She actually married him? Yeah… that’s my sympathy out the window. What she gets is her own doing at this point.

[@ivorynk752]

I WANT UPDATES! This is going to be a shitshow and I want to watch it! That's what I watch reddit videos for!

[@totorolover7444]

This entire ride reminded me of the pee-gate saga. I was so scared for op that the brother in this might become violent if they forced the boundaries and try to blame the op. 😖😰

[@artyamy7184]

Story 1: I really can't judge this story, but I can say that the husband is understandably distraught but he is kinda pushing it a bit too far. I guess it's because of all the hardships they went through together. But they all have to re-evaluate their relationships . Also brother sounds like he needs a lot of help (Ah I was almost the earliest but ohWell 3rd like is still good)

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: As someone with anxiety, that's 100% a panic attack. Sounds to me like the brother is manipulating the fiancé into postponing the wedding. OP should've been out of that relationship a long time ago. The brother is extremely dependent on the fiancé & the fiancé is severely blinded by that. Imagine if they do postpone & when the time comes for the "second" wedding date, the brothers just going to do it again! After Update: Okay, well, the husband sounds like he wants to have OP as his priority but the brother makes it exceedingly difficult. The fact that the brother wants more "examples" of the husbands boundaries shows he's got no idea what boundaries even are. The brother will never change. Hopefully the husband will at least go low contact with him.

[@andrewedmunds4583]

As much as I was ready to rip into the fiancé at the start of the story, I’m glad he chose his wife over his brother in the end. At least he recognizes that this isn’t right and is trying to reconcile.

[@ginapeadon4437]

The brother is a hardcore manipulator,he knows exactly what he's doing and doesn't care .

[@patriciahutton4313]

If you do buy a duplex, for heaven's sake, DON'T RENT TO THE BROTHER.

[@greendiamondglow]

Can't wait for op to follow up in a couple of years when she can't remove her BIL from her marriage and decides to leave instead. Hopefully, that will be before any children are put in the mix.

[@kateemma22]

'Except for this big fat weight on my shoulders and the knowledge he will always put his narcissistic and childish brother first, everything is perfect!' GIRL.

[@kimsandlin5286]

Story #1: IDK about anyone else but I'm getting Golden Child vibes from the "sick" brother. The fact OP's fiance can't see through his 💩 makes me think he's no better. 🙄

[@benmorley8812]

Story One - the OP should have either charged her fiancee and his brother the costs of the cancellations and broke it off, or set the boundary of low contact and screening all his brother's calls.

[@mihalybalint8969]

This whole story is a train wreck from beginning to end and I honestly don't have much faith in the marriage will be going to be a healthy one. Hubby will fall for Brothers manipulation again, Brother going to be a major Pain in the arse and OP will be too weak willed to admit her hubby is the kind of guy who seriously contemplated postponing his wedding because his brother throwing a sissy fit.

[@nicknitro86]

Ah 'my brother's keeper'. The dude straight up has munchausen.