I Told My Husband He Has To Choose Either Our Family Or His Playstation r/Relationships

[@emasters8619]

She says his love language is 'acts of service', and he is putting none of himself into the marriage. It's clear that he is done with her.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

His wife tells him she wants sex and he says no and guilts her over her porn. If you aren't going to satisfy her, at least buy her something that can and don't give her a hard time about it. Acts of service, my butt!

[@RisetoStrength]

If she ever treats him that way again, he will be.

[@mamabear1394]

​@@RisetoStrength He's the one who's in the wrong here. Stop defending the man just because you hate women and think that all women are the devil.

[@Maestrosendgame]

@@RisetoStrength or him for not even being there

[@RisetoStrength]

@@Maestrosendgame Would you want to be there for someone that diminishes your contributions like OP does at 2:05, trashes your appearance to strangers whilst talking themselves up like she does at 4:15, and fails to recognize that she's the one causing the problem at 6:05? I wouldn't.

[@MarkNarrations]

Sorry it's late my ducky ducks, car went pop. It's in the garage now though but just on catch up :)

[@YuumiMa1n]

Sorry to hear that, hope it gets fixed quick!

[@Brizlebird]

Not good Mark. I hope it’s not too expensive a fix!

[@Mamakaymmkay]

Sorry that happened!!! Hope everything goes smoothly 😁

[@englishclasschaug]

Sorry about the car!

[@FlamesofJagger]

Hope you can get it up and running again soon.

[@Batmanapplejax]

Love languages are how you GIVE and receive love. If your partner’s love language is “acts of service” and he does nothing for you, you’d should be questioning things

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

Yeah, that was my thought, too. It doesn't sound like he actually has a love language because he doesn't show love

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Aye, he's definitely not showing her any love. I bet he thinks making the money to pay for like 75 percent of the bills is "enough acts of service" when he's really just doing the bare minimum as an adult with a child to fund his own life. 😅 That's not working on his marriage at ALL.😅

[@davidlionheart2438]

That "love language" nonsense was belched up by a rabidly homophobic, misogynistic Baptist preacher called Gary Chapman in a garbage book he wrote. It's empty-headed trash.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@SakuraMoonflower She was sure showing him a lot of live when she trash talked him to internet strangers at 4:15. Also showing him a lot of love when she said that his 60 hour workweek is the "extent" of his contributions, when she's only putting in 40.

[@rainmeh4255]

I thought that meant you like recieving acts of service and she likes touch

[@sandeesandwich2180]

"He says all I want is sex" because asking for sex more than once a year is the sign of a nympho. /s

[@freedomcat]

Only if your Sheldon Cooper or Amy Farrah Fowler

[@Bijecarli]

"My husband is a good person and a good dad" *proceeds to detail awful behavior*

[@RisetoStrength]

Whilst exhibiting all of her own awful behavior for us to see. 2:05 puts down his contributions whilst elevating her own, the lack of gratitude has to make his 60 hour workweek tough. 4:15 puts down his appearance whilst elevating her own, can't blame him for being checked out of the relationship after this one.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

​@@RisetoStrengthyou really need to do better to hide how nonsensical you are.

[@catsncrows]

He's checking out women online who aren't part of the household problems. If I were op I'd tell him "I can't compete with someone who doesn't need anything at all, doesn't say anything. Perhaps your next partner should be inflatable"

[@carolsimpson4422]

@@RisetoStrength she does express gratitude for what he does- but all he really does is make money. When he's home he's locked in his game room. As to her discussion of his looks- I think she was just trying to tell reddit that she hadn't let herself go, she took pride in her attractiveness, and she longs for sex with her husband even though he has let himself go. She loves and appreciates him, but does not feel loved or appreciated by him.

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

@@RisetoStrength Typical blameshifting here. She's saying these things out of frustration after over a year of no intimacy and being ignored for videogames. Men do it all the time when a woman isn't interested in them.

[@TheBlueDsc]

I always annoys me when a person is like "They're a good parent" and then immediately after say something that shows the opposite. I understand you gotta provide for the family, but if you're spending all of your time working and none of your time actually doing anything with your family, sorry, but that's not a good parent. Parenting involves more than just the bare minimum of providing for them.

[@RisetoStrength]

It's simple. He's a good parent but she's a bad wife. She downplays his contributions whilst elevating her own at 2:05, puts down his appearance whilst elevating her own at 4:15, and recognizes that her relationship has become a pissing contest but not that it's her fault at 6:05. He's spending time with his daughter, just not with his tyrant.

[@TheBlueDsc]

@RisetoStrength I've seen your blatant sexism in the comments of previous videos enough that I don't give a single toss about what you think on any situation.

[@Vida7354]

​@@RisetoStrengthdude only because you bring money it doesn't make you an good parent/spouse at this point there is no difference between their relationship And divorce with alimony

[@annem7806]

They have to say that out loud, to convince themselves & others.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@TheBlueDsc Then be ignorant. I backed up my comment with timestamps, so you don't have to take my word for it.

[@polydactylblackcat2218]

I'm glad things turned around for OP, but the fact it took a medical scare on her end for hubby to wake up is absolutely tragic

[@RisetoStrength]

He's going to leave her in the future. The medical scare doesn't weigh up to how she mistreats him.

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

@@RisetoStrength What about this post has you so triggered? Why are you trying to make up reasons to hate her?

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

I think seeing him be a better husband to another woman after the divorce would ve been much more painful on OP. It happens alot, lazy husbands learn from their 1st marriage and better themselves for another woman which sent their ex wives reeling while people judging them for not making them better husbands and praising the new wife.

[@TheSergio1021]

​@@SvarogAristaeusAllen to play devils advocate, a valid criticism of OP is that she is trying to "compete" with him. No man is ever happy with a nagging wife. It also could be depression. OP mentioned that his dad was never in the picture, meaning the fact that he's a dad now it could be bringing up buried unresolved feelings. Porn addiction is an awful thing too so having that as a factor is not good, and OP also engaging in it is like living with an alcoholic and still having drinks yourself. However, Ristostrength doesn't ever seem to explain any of these issues and somehow thinks that OP is treating him poorly despite the husband being so dismissive of her concerns. So I dont know what they're on about or how they reached that conclusion.

[@valivali8104]

​@@SvarogAristaeusAllen Riseto is pathetic attention-seeking troll, willing to say any horrible 💩 if people react.

[@RuthieAA]

That update at the end was not the one I saw coming. I did not think that husband would ever come to his senses. Sleep is so important, holy cow! Between his sleep apnea and his obvious revenge bedtime procrastination, he had harmed his health and almost wrecked his marriage. Wild.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

No almost about it, he did wreck it. He just fixed it before it got too bad to do so.

[@Riftdancer527]

@@samoanjoseph1457and all it took was a health scare, dude was ready to let it end and wanted to wait for OP to say the word which is wild to me

[@TwozySauce27]

"revenge bedtime procrastination" I F-ing love this I do this all the time because I'm so tired all the time and by the time I'm not anymore I need to go to bed so I stay up. Thank you for stringing together the words to describe this.

[@LA-mz1dd]

If his love language is acts of service, that means HE does the acts of service, not OP. Sounds like he does nothing to show love to OP.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

I think he reckons his acts of service *is* him working 60 hrs a week. Maybe they should scale back the trappings in order to have less pressure, i.e. get rid of the Tesla and buy a cheaper Honda or Toyota. He should also consider changing jobs if he's not being paid well above the average, given that he's working 50% more than normal.

[@that.ll_do_pig]

It means he does acts of service _and_ probably feels loved when others do acts of service for him as well.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@that.ll_do_pig except, he doesn't do the acts of service. Hence he doesn't love her enough to show her love.

[@davidlionheart2438]

That "love language" nonsense was belched up by a rabidly homophobic, misogynistic Baptist preacher called Gary Chapman in a garbage book he wrote. It's empty-headed trash.

[@miamiare9642]

He sounds like another child. Thats a divorce

[@CareyBilley]

He wants a mommy and not a wife.

[@marshawargo7238]

The way she wrote the original post almost made me think, sometimes there is a good reason to cheat, Almost! She's doing everything even trash & yard work, while all he does is work! It seems that his excessive over working is either because they both live above their means or it's an excuse to not be home with her & to not do anything for her or the household. My comment was made before any updates😂!

[@RisetoStrength]

@@marshawargo7238 Housework for two takes me 17 hours a week. I personally benefit from all of it, as does OP, so I can't compare it to compensated labor which benefits nobody but her employer. I would never expect someone working 60 hours a week to do any of it. I know how draining it is. Wife is completely out of line.

[@dream6562]

@marshawargo7238 if it's the first, than best advice is to live below your means, have the need covered first, everything else is secondary

[@WobblesandBean]

Most gamer guys do.

[@ErnestReddit]

same here

[@angelwhitenight1456]

I don't think I like the fact that a cancer scare was what he needed to wake up on how terrible he was...I hope she is happy but I don't think I could forgive my husband for all he did for months just because he finally realized he f-up

[@diamcole]

Seemed like a wake up call for them both. He was completely checked out of their marriage but was still fully willing to support her and their child in the event of a divorce. Doesn’t seem like the reaction of a man with little to no regard for her, just someone who had fallen out of like/love/or attraction with her. Stings like hell but it certainly happens.

[@angelwhitenight1456]

@@diamcole Yes that's true, I just hope they either work things out or divorce but on friendly terms, it's just really bad for the child to see that kind of marriage

[@RisetoStrength]

@@diamcole All that while being treated this way, too.

[@annem7806]

Stop doing ANYTHING for him. Let him see tomorrow morning he has no lunch or clean clothes. Pack those blank divorce paper on there. Start gathering finances info. Banking, pension, profit sharing, taxes. You see an atty, YOU name the guidelines.

[@RisetoStrength]

Yeah, stop supporting your husband's 60 hour workweek when you've got an unpaid Tesla. No. Unless he stops doing his 60 hour workweek, making sure he has clean clothes and lunches ready for when he *PROVIDES FOR YOU* is your job. If you don't do your job, you lose your position.

[@KorGarrot]

​@@RisetoStrength did you miss where she is working full time too?

[@RisetoStrength]

@@KorGarrot He's working full time and a third extra. Her shifts are only 66% of his and she has the most time in the home to do these tasks that need doing. I do all of the housework for everyone in my home, so you can't fool me into thinking that it comes close to the stress of compensated labor, nor can you claim "mental load" to me. Life is mental load.

[@AutumnFire1414]

I wouldn't leave the blank divorce papers out where he can see it. I completely agree on getting their ducks in a row with finances and lining up an attorney. If he's warned, then he might empty out the bank accounts out of spite. I'm not advocating OP empty out their account, but to take legal advice so as to not bite OP in the butt when the divorce goes to court.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@AutumnFire1414 This is why men aren't getting married. You people are sneaks.

[@skyelindsey687]

It wasn’t the cancer scare. It was the fact she didn’t tell him about the scare. I fully believe that if she had told him he never would’ve received the help he needed to get better.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Maybe he thought "oh crap, if the wife's gone I'll have to do all this stuff on my own" and miraculously changed.

[@cynthiaholland13]

Why?

[@aphelion4616]

@@user-wr3vt8uq4s Exactly.

[@skyelindsey687]

@@cynthiaholland13 because she literally told him hundreds of times what she needed out of the relationship and he didn’t listen. It was when she stopped talking and didn’t tell him about something as serious as cancer, you know the thing that can kill you if not caught on time, that he realized she was done with the relationship.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@skyelindsey687 It doesn't matter if she tells him thousands of times. When you compete with your spouse over them not contributing enough when they've got a 60 hour workweek, resentment forms. It is absolutely reasonable that he put a lock on his office door to get away from her. 2:05, 4:15 and 6:05 are not easy to reconcile. She'll push him away again if she doesn't learn not to do all of those things.

[@nutty77]

I wonder what OP's sex life was like before she had the child? Some men are turned right off by the fact a baby has emerged from 'their' pleasure area. It sounds like he has totally booked out of the physical side of the marriage, and he complained that the baby was in their bed, but he refused to move her to her own room because 'she wasn't ready'. Sounds like he used this as an excuse to avoid intimacy.

[@RisetoStrength]

That could be the case, but I think it has more to do with her personality. At 2:05 she tries to measure up to his 60 hour workweek like she's another man. She's likely competing with him in his own home, that'd put me off as well. At 4:16 she drops the "he's overweight, short and balding." She clearly doesn't admire him or appreciate him. That 60 hour workweek has got to be tiring without any gratitude. (edit to correct timestamp from 2:55 to 2:05.)

[@nutty77]

@@RisetoStrength there is that too.

[@maryjanedodo]

​​@@RisetoStrength ugh - you missed the whole point. Where's her gratitude - she's doing way more than 60 hours of work since he does zero housework or childcare + the mental load is all on her too. He just goes to work & goes home & games. He has everything else provided for him.

[@philwill0123]

​@@RisetoStrengththing is, he's basically not attracted to her and she's saying, she's making an effort and making the sexual initiative. So Essentially if anyone had the right to be put off sex, it was her.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@philwill0123 Would you be attracted to someone that trashes you to strangers by saying "I don't look bad, but he's short, fat and balding"?

[@CanyonALynn]

I can attest to a CPAP machine making a 180 in your life. The tiredness before having a CPAP is REAL. It's like having a pressing weight on you that causes a lot of other issues that you don't initially think are caused by sleep apnea. In my experience, after a month of being on it, I had a lot of energy that lasted all day, better sleep, my mood improved, my appetite improved, etc. It's like you're a brand new person.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Yup, higher blood pressure, nodding off, weight gain are all possible with apnea. If only we had a decent healthcare system.

[@shadowkissed2370]

My husband was put on a cpap, it cut down on a LOT of his migraines.

[@YellaBellaReno]

I’m going to show my partner this comment thread. I’m 99% sure he has sleep apnea, but he is not sold on the idea of a CPAP. He is definitely not getting good rest.

[@CanyonALynn]

@YellaBellaReno To be fair/honest, starting a CPAP treatment is hard at first because (in my experience) finding the right, most comfortable mask/nasal pillows and tube placement was key. But once you start, you *have* to find the right fit. Once that happens and you spend at least a month on it, you'll start to see the benefits... sometimes a little sooner. But trust me, my energy levels lasted all day, I wasn't eating/snacking/caffeine drinking much, if at all... and my depression/mood improved a lot.

[@YellaBellaReno]

@@CanyonALynn thank you. That’s very helpful information to have.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

So his love language is act of service, yet he doesn't do any service for her to show it. Looks like he's showing her that he doesn't love her.

[@RisetoStrength]

Of course he's not going to do any service for her. She calls him short, overweight and balding to strangers whilst saying she isn't bad looking. She competes with him in his own home and tries to control him when he escapes her mistreatment. 2:05, 4:15, 6:05.

[@shells500tutubo]

@@RisetoStrength Who hurt you? Get some therapy for your incel-ness.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@shells500tutubo Do you have anything to say about her behavior?

[@frozezone2947]

​@@shells500tutubo Way to prove his point

[@aphelion4616]

"I love you and shouldn't have to prove that after 24 years'. No no, you need to continuously show that. There is a saying I love to described this. "The grass isn't always greener on the other side; It's greener where you water it, and nurture it." Relationships are constant work and maintenance. You can 'be comfortable' after a while, but that doesn't mean you stop showing your partner how much you love them.

[@boneymeroney2674]

It's heartbreaking sick people have to work more to pay their medical bills. 😢

[@lostshadows768]

5:40 Maybe I'm misrepresenting this, but isn't "acts of service" that you express love by performing those, not having your partner do them for you?

[@RisetoStrength]

4:15, is OP speaking about him like somebody she loves?

[@tomatosoup4618]

​@@RisetoStrengthis he treating her like someone he loves? I don't think so.

[@BootyCrusader]

@@RisetoStrengthyour takes on this story have been really off, man

[@RisetoStrength]

@@tomatosoup4618 I'm going to say it outright. If my spouse elevated their own appearance while trashing my own, I'm going to stop loving them. I'd love to hear the opinions of the women that upvoted your attempt at a "gotcha".

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@RisetoStrength what spouse? You have lamented that you wont get married because women are not women who will sit in the kitchen, clean your house, drop to their knees when you want them to, and be the mommy that you needed in your youth. We all know you don't even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

[@nadirimyers6643]

He didn’t see how being awake all night made him tired?? lol. Glad they good now hope it sticks but damn. I’d resent him personally but again truly glad they are in a better place

[@maryclaar4629]

Did I hear correctly? The SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD has slept in the marital bed for Six And A Half YEARS????????? WHY are there No Comments on this?

[@huinismith]

Yeah, right? That's not healthy for any of them.

[@monkeynumbernine]

Ya- That's just creepy.

[@DanielCharlton]

I literally paused 90 seconds into this story looking for THIS comment. WTF?

[@RisetoStrength]

@@monkeynumbernine It's not creepy, get your head out of your backside. It isn't good for the child's development, but you're way out of line. EDIT: Turns out it's good for the child's development and self-esteem.

[@streamerssaymyname]

​​@@RisetoStrength probably don't have kids or forced kids to sleep alone since out of the hospital. Anyone who has coslept/is a parent knows that 5-6 isn't all that old in the long run, and by OPs comments - whenever she tried to change the cosleeping situation her husband would argue against it. He used his daughter as a reason not to be intimate with his wife for years and wanted to keep it going he even used it AFTER she got her own room.

[@lauracottom7425]

Op please leave. Stop letting your daughter see this and think it’s ok to be treated this way. So it took a possible death scare for him to be aware? Wow. Nti

[@RisetoStrength]

Right, teach the daughter that it's easier to be single in a world that's increasingly hostile to single women. Harder to work, harder to rent, harder to survive.

[@hilaryc3203]

Op shouldn't worry too much about her daughter. When I separated from my ex husband, a short time later my daughter remarked how happier we were in the house and that there was more laughter. Kids see and know; separating is often a good decision for your kids.

[@damien678]

When my mum separated from my dad when I was 6 I knew intuitively why it was happening, didn't complain about it at all, and knew we were both happier.

[@epicXtrollface]

I totally get that for kids, divorce sucks. What's worse, however, is for kids to have parents who SHOULD be divorced, but aren't. If divorce is the best option for the parents, it's the best option for the children.

[@sovereigncrux]

Story 1: I woke up and made my breakfast. I know it sounds silly, but over the last six months or so it has become ritual to listen to these reddit stories while I eat breakfast. It's Sunday so my life partner is home, and he hears the redit story of this knobhead's indifference towards his wife's needs or feelings and contributes zero effort to the shared residence. Without a word, he stood up, did the dishes, refilled some spice jars I left on the counter for myself today, started the laundry, and I heard faucets in the bathroom but no idea what went on there. All while I was sitting here waking up with my breakfast. This is the exact opposite of how he used to be. He was the checked out guy like in this story, who put all his attention on porn and video games and had nothing left for me and I did 100% of the cooking and cleaning. It took years of counseling and personal growth for him to become the super helpful and considerate partner he is today. I'm just saying that change is possible, but the person has to want it for themselves and for their partners. The guy in this story is not there yet, and I can only see him pretending to put in an effort when an ultimatum is tossed at him but not caring in the long run because there's no real longstanding consequences to his action. OP doesn't carry through on her ultimatums and he can slide and he knows it. I was like OP once upon a time, I am not anymore. Realize that if your partner treats you like this and they don't make the steps to adjust their behavior, values and priorities on their own, they won't change. But if you see them trying, give them a moment to catch up and maybe you will be surprised that change can happen if a person really wants it for themselves. Edit after updates: He is trying for himself now after her health scare, he adjusted his priorities and what matters to him. He also worked on becoming healthier which will usually aid in mental health, so I am optimistic for the update. So long as he remains present and open to his family and partner's needs, it is possible for them to find a happier groove for them all. Best of luck, OP.

[@RisetoStrength]

Did your man not hear the bit at 2:05 and 4:15? I'm concerned for his wellbeing now.

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

People really said she just wanted sex? How many of those responders could deal with only having sex with their SO one time a year? But it's not only about a lack of intimacy an̈d time together. Her roommate doesn't care if her needs are met or not. As long as his needs are met, he just doesn't care. She'll be better off coparenting with him and finding a new, engaged and present, SO.

[@Shadow1patin]

My mom has sleep apnea. She is like a different person if she doesn't have her machine. It can really put you into a fog from what I understand.

[@rebajoe]

17:46 It's not just you, I'm feeling it too, his response ignores everything else and it's just him making arrangements. Kinda iffy. Update 2: I spotted a couple comments below that pointed out that it wasn't until he learned op hid the cancer scare from him that he finally shaped up.('if op's gone, I'll have to do everything myself')

[@cattyanamontes5724]

Still owing 33k on a car is wild to me. But I ain’t got money like that. My new SUV was 30k.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Yeah, I think they need to cut back on the expenses. That car is probably costing 600-700/mo at 4% int rate plus insurance, which is usually higher on EVs since they can be totalled so easily in an accident (the battery pack replacement is 11-14K alone).

[@shadowkissed2370]

Exactly. Our new SUV cost $10,000, and we only bought it when we had the entire thing saved up. If you can't handle it and have to ignore your family and kill yourself working to pay it off, then it's not worth it.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

@@shadowkissed2370 "Oh but the prestige!" Teslas aren't even worth it anyway. You are not even supposed to get them wet because they rust out! If the electrical system goes out, you can't even open the doors or windows. People have had steering systems or axles just give out while driving on the highway. Absolutely not worth what he's paying for it.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 Never, ever buy an EV of any kind. They have no resale value and a very short life.

[@soogymoogi]

I will say that some people aren't into doing things with a partner but are into solo stuff, if you know what i mean. Either way it sounds like the husband has checked out of the relationship.

[@Val_Benko]

Honestly, I can see how the CPAP machine would help him a lot. In my experience, chronic exhaustion isn't all that apparent to a lot of people, because it seems to present differently than normal acute exhaustion. As someone with sleep issues, who is always tired and has never woken up feeling awake/refreshed, that kind of chronic exhaustion kills you. I game a lot, in part because it doesn't require a lot of energy on my part. Chronic exhaustion plus ADHD (on my part) can lead to some insane time blindness. The exhaustion can also lead to some almost surreal moments, where you know you need to do something, you *want* to go do the thing, but your body just will not gather the energy to get up and actually do the thing. Hell even things like using the bathroom can get delayed a for while because my body decides not to stand. I often find folding laundry to be exhausting. And the mental fog that can come from chronic exhaustion can make it so hard to think. I don't agree with how OP's husband handled things, but if he was experiencing chronic exhaustion like that, I can totally see how he got to that point. If my partner came to me with OP's concerns, I'd really try to find compromises and work through things. But I'm also very aware of my physical health and limitations, while it sounds like he really hadn't noticed it yet.

[@sammieg8641]

How is chronic exhaustion equal playing games instead of contributing. The whole time blindness… I get it but that’s why I set alarms, it’s just not an excuse any of it

[@that.ll_do_pig]

​It's incredibly common for people with exhaustion to completely check out and do something that doesn't require significant mental *or physical energy. Like gaming, scrolling on the phone or watching TV. And _reasons_ are worth discussing; that doesn't mean they are then used to _excuse_ ​@@sammieg8641

[@lizthedisjointedzebra692]

​@@sammieg8641 It's unfortunately easier to dissociate and just curl up and play video games than to be active and engaged, doing chores and whatnot. I struggled with that before I was diagnosed with ADHD, and before I was medicated for it. Not saying it's an excuse at all, but it's true. It's definitely not an excuse for OP's husband's shitty behavior, but I understand the struggle, in general.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@lizthedisjointedzebra692 Curious, why are you saying his behavior is shitty, but completely failing to notice any of hers?

[@Val_Benko]

@@sammieg8641 it's definitely not an excuse! But it might be an explanation, esp since he wasn't always like this. Sometimes it's just easier to dissociate and lose yourself in a game than to try and power through and do what you should be doing. It's not right, but it happens

[@FreijaVanir]

Every time I hear "his love language is acts of service" I look to see what acts of service he perfos to show love. Often times it's just him getting and never giving. So, no. His love language isn't acts of service. He just wants you to serve him, while he strangles the snake in his locked room.

[@fatimamohammed5201]

He spent 7 years not caring about his wife and child. 7 YEARS refusing to sort anything out. He hasnt changed, the sickness was a way to get back in, and later when things go backwards she'll stay because he improved once, she'll believe he'll do it again.

[@RisetoStrength]

He was looking after his child, you salami donut. He was just fleeing from his abusive wife.

[@AndyyWithAY]

If it takes threatening divorce and a health scare for my spouse to get their head out of their bum and realize they want to be with me, that's just too much. That feels like holding someone hostage. I hope OP still leaves. What does this teach her daughter about navigating relationships--platonic and romantic.

[@KateKanenator]

It just sounds like their marriage is done. . . It really, really sucks. It sounds like OP's husband is unhappy with his life and isn't willing to put in the effort to change it. If he was depressed, the marriage counselor would have picked up on it and said something.

[@DiZoSoMom]

Yeah that was definitely my thought. I think Reddit is often quick to jump to the divorce card, but there’s just SO much to unpack in this one. This man is soooo set in so many wrong ways, lying, gaslighting, and flat out just treating her like shit. She’s gotta just cut her losses and move on. Honestly, TMI, but I finally left my ex hubs for similar. It was years of not being touched that drove me to my lowest self esteem ever… he isolated, then began drinking, then way more, and then the abuse started. Leaving is 100% the best thing I ever did for myself. Cutting that kind of dead weight is the most freeing thing in the world. And for the last 5 years I’ve had an incredible man and feel better than ever. Don’t stay miserable. She needs to run.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@DiZoSoMom He's just done with the relationship after all of her mistreatment. At 2:05 she tries to measure up all of her contributions to his 60 hour workweek like she's another man. At 4:15 she drops the "I look good, but he's ugly, he should want me." At 6:05 she recognizes that her relationship is a competition about contributions but not she's the one that made it that way. 60 hours a week for someone that trashes you and tries to compete with you in your own home is exhausting. You're right, he's best off removing her from the home and working shorter hours because of the reduced expenses. He needs to run.

[@louisejohnson6057]

​@@RisetoStrengthNow here is a good example of selective hearing. SMH.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@louisejohnson6057 Yes, you are a shining example of selective hearing.

[@radudancoroian5169]

He literally puts the effort in the update

[@JamesL.Wilson-pb1ry]

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised

[@beverlystephens6]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@JamesL.Wilson-pb1ry]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

[@beverlystephens6]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@JamesL.Wilson-pb1ry]

You wont regret it

[@storiesfromtheweb2]

This was such a rollercoaster! 😅 I hope they keep up the positive changes and continue growing together.

[@nadirimyers6643]

As someone who has worked 60 hrs weeks it’s a lot of work but op def does wayyyyyyy more than him. Like waaaaaaay more. Like it’s laughable and disrespectful that he says he does more cus he just doesn’t

[@ineedhoez]

Amen!!!

[@RisetoStrength]

Nope, OP does less. I don't think you've ever worked a 60 hour workweek, because you'd know.

[@diamcole]

@@RisetoStrengthHave worked 70 hour work weeks for the last five years - I, personally, would rather do that than manage a home and a child. Speaking in generalities is a quick way to undermine your point lol you’ll always come across outliers.

[@ineedhoez]

@RisetoStrength lmao... on average, When a woman marries she does seven additional hours of domestic labor. That's uncompensated labor. This woman works a 40 hour week job and completes all of the domestic chores plus childcare. She's easily pulling down eighty hours worth of labor. If she were a SAHM, there might be parity. OP literally out there mowing the freaking lawn!!!

[@RisetoStrength]

​@@diamcole I don't buy what you're trying to sell me. To OP's husband, working a shorter shift and doing more housework, which is significantly easier and lower-pressure helped him a lot. The only people that think a 60 hour workweek beats 40 and some housework are the ones that have never lived on their own.

[@eb8708]

This happened to me. I was wrecked from having a preemie and health problems, but he withdrew into his games. I gave an ultimatum, me or the game, and he immediately sold his character profiles. No hesitation whatsoever. Edit: typos

[@lalalachris]

It’s telling that “his love language is acts of service and mine is physical intimacy” He expects his wife to serve him and gives neither of the aforementioned

[@wiggilytaco7570]

It’s always a gamer. You never hear “my husband neglects our child because he spend all day playing the piano” or “I feel like my husband prefers his bug collection over his own family”. Nah, it’s always a gamer. I know that not all gamers are absent parents but damn. If you wanna hear about a father who spend every hour of his home life NOT with the spouse and child, it’s usually cuz they’re glued to a screen.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

13:31 Even if she did just want sex, so what? She’s doing so much for this man, and he can’t even give her that. There are so many men out there that would kill for a partner like OP.

[@RisetoStrength]

She's supporting his 60 hour workweek. What are you on? On top of that, instead of being grateful she has to measure her own contributions up to his like she's another man. If she doesn't get help, a cancer scare isn't going to be able to keep them together. He's going to get tired of her again the next time she calls him short, overweight and balding.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

@@RisetoStrength What are you on? “He works 60 hours a week.” Yeah, and yet he still finds time to masturbate instead of just having sex with the person in his house who wants to have sex with him. Yet he’s somehow able to get his shit together when she has a cancer scare. News flash, many people work 60 hours a week and still find time for their personal lives. It takes effort, I’m not downplaying that, but that’s literally what a relationship is. You support my needs, I support yours. The fact that you think OP should be grateful, sit back with a smile on her face while she’s miserable, is frankly insane. No partner should ever have to do that.

[@ineedhoez]

​@@RisetoStrengthshe also works 40 hours a week. She is not a sahm

[@RisetoStrength]

@@ineedhoez He's working 60 hours a week, meaning he has to be out of the house for 12 hours a day. If she stops holding up her end of the deal, his 60 hour workweek becomes impossible and the both of them crash because of their poor financial decisions. The absence of gratitude makes that 60 hour workweek soul killing, and his soul will be killed again in the future if he doesn't get help. Nobody cares if she's a SAHM or not if she's competing with her husband for status in their relationship. He's just going to escape from her and call it a day.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

​@@RisetoStrength OMG STFU and learn to read.😂

[@Othomqcpwr]

5:45 "my husband love language is acts of service, as in I'm his maid and he doesn't do shit for me to show he loves me"

[@JettSettingBengal]

I just couldn’t be bothered to do what op is doing. You shouldn’t have to convince a partner to participate in a relationship. OP’s daughter deserves better.

[@RisetoStrength]

OP's daughter is taken care of. You're way out of line.

[@Figcity]

“He doesn’t seem to want me” NO SHIT LADY

[@persephoneszeliga]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Will you marry me? 🤣

[@RisetoStrength]

She doesn't want him, either. At 4:15 she dropped the good old "I look good, but he's short, overweight and balding. Why doesn't he want me?" I wouldn't want her because of her attitude.

[@Figcity]

@@RisetoStrengthright. And arguing about having sex isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac 😂

[@Figcity]

@@Clyde-S-Wilcoxyes

[@clarissagafoor5222]

Obviously the tumors and the cancer scare made the husband stop and think. And start to take care of his own health. Let's hope along with OP that this continues.

[@lizzykayOT7]

It's unusual to see people so close to a divorce change the mind. The husband's response to OP's message was clearly drafted after talking to an attorney. OP had a cancer scare and it made her more open to the changes her husband put forward, and made him actually try. Sleep apnea and internet/ gaming addiction can affect all aspects of one's like and it's not hard to see how a person can spiral into seeing their spouse as unnecessary. It's a bad headspace. Divorce is always an option, but if OP wants to work on her marriage then she should do so to ensure she has no regrets.

[@heymikey4025]

Anybody else worried that his offer to pay for her mortgage if she puts 100k into her new house would have ended with him not paying the mortgage and her possibly losing the house and the 100k she put in? I’ve seen it happen in a Reddit story a few years ago…dude in that story totally screwed his ex over just because.

[@nadirimyers6643]

Girl…. Leave him.

[@RisetoStrength]

And be single for the remainder of her life? Single moms tend not to have great outcomes.

[@TheSergio1021]

I think a smart way to go about this is this: have a talk with him and ask him "is all you want to be to this family just an ATM? Because if that's your only concern, then that's what you are. Otherwise you can be a father and a husband." If he sees the mirror you just placed on him, then he will have one of two choices. Either accept the fact that all he is to you is a money printer and not change. Or he can realize that there's more to life than money. There's bonding with your spouse through intimacy and love and bonding with the family as a unit. His answer will explain all you need to know.

[@jimmygarza8896]

Relationship started at 19F and 26M. This is already looking bad.

[@SenseiRaisen]

There is 2 things who here is happening: 1- his upbring shape a way he is. Something who paint that his values of relationship is diferent to OP 2- once again, ultimatums. Is not his PS5, is what happen with him. As he sounds checked out of there and not putting with her either, as she compares everything with what they do. I think both are in the wrong, but at different levels. OP for not understand that her husband probably is going through something she can't perceive while thrusting her relationship values who are NOT WRONG, and the husband to literally not listen to OP and believe that he always has to be in the right. NEVER do that on both ends, because the best you can do for a relationship and marriage to work out is to always agree, beyond that is a toxic relationship plain and simple if can't agree on something. In this case who has more blame is husband's stubbornness (unless you tell me he is from Germany and i would now understand WHY), and took a big scare to pull him out of his hole.

[@TheAlphaDingo]

sounds like he has depression or something - seems withdrawn and uses video games to escape his real life problems.

[@Whiteboi314kol]

Well that took a great turn glad everything is on track for OP and the family I hate when people get happy about people separating especially when it wasn’t some crazy thing like him beating or cheating on his wife

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

OK hold on. a f'kin' TESLA? That he still owes $33K on?? No wonder he's working himself to death! Sell the goddamn car (before it falls apart from rust - they do that). Save yourselves $33K right there. And yeah, he DOES "have to prove it" after 14 years because just paying the bills does not make a marriage or a family work. He hardly interacts with wife and child. What is there in that to make her happy? SMH

[@meretage5643]

My husband’s CPAP made him a different person. It’s a HUGE difference when you breathe all night instead of starving your brain of oxygen.

[@NosiphoFakudze]

Sorry Mark. Hope everything gets sorted soon.

[@MarkNarrations]

It's no stress, thank you though :)

[@DarkAvenga]

"I do love you and I shouldn't have to prove that"... Wtf bro

[@Maestrosendgame]

I don’t think op is a hypocrite he’s just an ah who doesn’t deserve a wife

[@RisetoStrength]

Wife doesn't deserve him. 2:05, 4:15 and 6:05. She doesn't respect or admire him, is willing to bash his appearance and recognized that her marriage became a pissing contest, but not that it's her fault it got to that point. It's over for her.

[@Maestrosendgame]

@@RisetoStrength throughout most of the story he’s made every excuse to not be anywhere near op and doesn’t sound like a present father and husband.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@Maestrosendgame Would you want to be near someone that says they look good, but you're short, fat and balding? I wouldn't. She says he's a great dad and I'm going to take her word for it, and she can't blame him for not being a present husband. She's pushing him away.

[@caseyp3447]

@@Maestrosendgame if I was being insulted by my partner then I wouldn't want to touch them either

[@Floratic]

​@@Maestrosendgame I've seen Rise post on multiple people's comments defending the OP's husband. There's no point in responding to someone who thinks the dead beat husband is in the right.

[@JarvisKaiba]

Hi mark! I don’t know if you’ll see this or not, but I just want to say that I appreciate your videos. I know this might sound a little silly, but I have been dealing with a lot, in my day-to-day life recently, and in a time where nothing feels consistent, your videos are something I can turn to to keep myself grounded. Thank you for being you. Thank you for caring about your community, and for being such a wonderful voice of reason in my daily routine

[@RisetoStrength]

You should toughen up a bit. A lot, really. You can find brothers that will look out for you, but you've got to be strong enough.

[@JarvisKaiba]

@@RisetoStrength uh…me?? I don’t think I said anything to imply that I needed to “toughen up,” but okay

[@RisetoStrength]

@@JarvisKaiba It's your demeanor. I can tell that you let other people walk all over you.

[@JarvisKaiba]

@@RisetoStrength lol, what a weird thing to say to a stranger online

[@RisetoStrength]

@@JarvisKaiba It's a bit weird when people tell the truth without holding back, isn't it?

[@kyriacarica5862]

Husband: you don’t understand everything I’m going through! OP: *does everything AND works 40 hours a week* Bruh

[@Dilligaf-m7s]

So I went from YTA to NTA to ESH to NAH. I think the most important point was maybe left out by mistake by op as maybe not seen as important, but it is mentioned at the end. Hubby has lost 60lbs and has other issues. That is where a lot of the issues with his s drive were and now he is doing something about his weight they are seeing a difference.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 1, I had the same problem with my ex-girlfriend. For 10 years, she never wanted to have sex with me. Every time I asked, she would give me the excuse of "that's all I'm thinking about or want from her". I finally got tired and left her in 2016. In OPs case, he doesn't want to have sex with her anymore. He's probably on Onlyfans or something like that where he sees women who are 20 to 25 having sex and showing their naked bodies. He's probably imagining one of them every time he strokes and plays with himself. OP isn't the asshole here because it is difficult for anyone who wants physical attention from their partner and never receiving it. She should leave him and go find someone else.

[@storiesfromtheweb2]

This story hit me hard. Relationships are so much work, but it’s great to see them trying to make it work! 🙌✨

[@scorpionbraid]

"Tesla"? Say no more.

[@msredux]

Is not just aboutnsex and intimacy, he doesn't contribute anything to the house chores or child care, and thinks her contribution is nothing compare to his job, he sounds like a horrible husband, and I woulnd't have waited that long to bring up divorce

[@RisetoStrength]

He's contributing an exhausting 60 hour workweek. Of course he's not going to do any housework, if he picked up even a single one of her chores she'd be dead weight. On top of that, instead of being grateful to him for being out of the house for 12 hours a day to provide for his family, she tries to compete with him by telling us all of the things she does whilst having a much shorter workweek. At 4:15 she even went as far as to say "I look good, but he's ugly." Would you be attracted to a man that talks to strangers about you in that way? With your attitude, you wouldn't have made it as far as she had before ending up alone.

[@msredux]

@@RisetoStrength and she works 40 hrs plus all the house work and childcare, that's a lot more than 60 hr a week, he didn't have time for the family, didn't even say hello properly before locking himself to play video games for hours, and you think that is a good husband?

[@RisetoStrength]

@@msredux Would you bother to properly say "hello" to someone that trashes you to strangers while elevating themselves? No, I don't think you would. I don't think you'd make time to spend with them either. He's a fine husband, anyone would react the same way to this mistreatment.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@msredux And no. Housework always needs to be done, the reason it's her job alone is because he's got a 60 hour workweek and she doesn't. He has a nonflexible schedule where he could be fired if he makes a serious enough mistake or burns out, she's got a comfortable position that her husband is paying to support. The things that an ordinary, single person has to do for themselves do not count as work hours in a relationship, but if you're competing over who's doing more work, the relationship is dead anyway. Try some fucking gratitude.

[@liliblue]

​@@msredux It's giving he works and games that much to avoid his family.

[@storiesfromtheweb2]

Wow, what a journey! 😲 I'm so glad they’re working things out. Communication really is key in any relationship

[@CustomReads]

it's great to see that after hitting rock bottom, they're finding their way back to each other. Sometimes it takes a wake-up call to really appreciate what we have and work on it. The fact that they're both making changes and trying to improve their relationship shows a lot of dedication. Keep communicating and growing together every step forward counts

[@ThoughtsonThoughtsandFeelings]

“I feel like I shouldn’t be begging for sex” CORRECT! You are describing sexual coercion. You KNOW he doesn’t want to have sex, forcing him to isn’t going to bring you closer.

[@bloodlos]

I honestly think the problem was working 60 hours a week. Gaming becomes an escape for some and it really sounds like to me that the husband was burnt out.

[@Coolmanis100]

Had a friend who resented his father because all he did was work come home eat then sleep. They reconciled after he left for college.

[@RisetoStrength]

The 60 hour workweek is fine with gratitude. The problem is at 2:05 she tries to measure up to his workweek like she's another man instead of just being grateful that he puts the time in. At 4:15 she drops the "he's short, overweight and balding", right after saying "I'm not that bad looking." She elevated herself to strangers at the same time as tearing him down. It's likely that she's treated him similarly in his own home, and he's not burnt out. He's likely just done with her.

[@Songbirdstress]

That's the problem, that's out of the house 12 hours a day just for work. No wonder he's knackered. Also they're both working, so where's the money going? maybe some of those extracurriculars need to go. Sucks, but time with your family is more important. edit: they have a Tesla. A Tesla is not worth your health, father daughter relationship, marriage.

[@One.DeSanctis.]

Working time and a half can be exhausting. It depends upon if you enjoy your job or not. OP and her husband have moved from being a couple to being roommates. Why stay together?

[@One.DeSanctis.]

​@Songbirdstress They have a Tesla 😂 Living beyond their means like A-holes. 100 hours of work a week and still drowning financially? Build that career and downsize. These type of upwardly mobile, yet spending too much, couples are making their own problems. Them complaining.

[@deifieddata4462]

"I got on his phone because he saves reels for me" lmao that is not a sly excuse

[@Peeges_]

Thanks for hanging out with us. Hope you can get that car fixed soon ! 🫶

[@RisetoStrength]

What do you and Mark eat when you hang out together?

[@Peeges_]

@@RisetoStrength sarcasm.

[@Kayenne54]

As soon as hubby stops messing about for hours every day with the "playstation joystick" he's got more interest in his own wife. Colour me shocked.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

3:21 Yeeaaah, "Alienation of Affection" counts as grounds for divorce... 😅

[@My9thMyJoy]

Calling it, he has an online girlfriend.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

"I'm 34, husband's 41. We've been together 15 years, married 11" HANG ON (Whips out calculator)... she was 19 & he was 26 when they got together!! She was 23 & he was 30 when they got married. While I don't mind a 7 year age gap her being 19...!!! Gives "groomer" vibes. "He's a good person & good dad... besides paying the bills that's the extent of it" yeaaaa doesn't really sound like he's either a good person or dad. "I do everything. Anything relating to our daughter, cleaning, cooking, laundry, groceries, yard work, trash" Yeaaaa dude definitely groomed her to be "dutiful housewife" & only NOW is she starting to rethink things... Girl GET OUT! After Update: Good lord, she sends him a message of how she feeling & he ignored it to continue playing video games?! This is not a marriage. It's not even a partnership! And his response to her is basically "I don't want to give you anymore. I shouldn't have to. But if you do want out I'll help you financially" ?!?! This is no man "move within 30 miles so I can be there for our daughter" HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING NOW WHEN SHE'S IN THE HOUSE!! It took a medical scare for him to wake up?! No. OP laid everything out & he just "yea whatever" it. "I'm mad you didn't tell me about a medical scare & only NOW will I start being better" Good god no. Just no.

[@RisetoStrength]

You're really taking your permanent singlehood out on this man. Calm down, have some tea, and grow up.

[@NJ-kp3wu]

It seems to me phrases like 'love language' were invented by weirdos who don't want to admit they're not pulling their weight in a relationship.

[@ineedhoez]

I definitely can understand why you would think that. Takers weaponize it to exploit people

[@diamcole]

How’d you get that? All it means is that some people feel loved and appreciated in different ways lol. 😂

[@NJ-kp3wu]

@@diamcole First off, the entire concept is just stupid. No matter who you are, you don’t have one ‘love language’, everybody has many different things they appreciate. But the bigger problem is that it’s so often used to justify someone’s shitty behaviour in a relationship as if the phrase ‘hE HAs a diFFErenT lovE LanGuAge’ is a perfectly acceptable excuse for neglect.

[@artemishallihan8973]

Just that first description feels like, "Oh, hun, your a married single mom" and my heart breaks that it took this long for her to reach the end of her rope.

[@DarkwaveMistress]

"his love language is acts of service" Has described how he does nothing. I wish people stopped using the love language nonsense. It's always, always, an excuse for people to refuse to change their attitudes.

[@christinesinclair6938]

Wow. OP is mom to TWO children. Also, sexual incompatibility is a legit reason to end a relationship. Shame there's a kid in the mix, but it is what it is. I hope she meets a properly compatible partner in the future and I hope he has fun with his toys. After update: Well.....that went down a path I wasn't expecting. I'm glad that they worked it out (for now)

[@RisetoStrength]

"There's a kid that's gonna suffer, but it is what it is" This is why men are done with relationships in 2024. This level of selfishness has spread too far within women.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Wait so, he won't take a pill to perform for her, but he'll take lotion into a room by himself... because the women he'll never meet are worth it, and his wife isn't??? I would hide the PS while he's working, and when he comes to her looking for it, tell him she's the console tonight and he better get the combos right. I hate when partners say "I don't have a drive" or "don't like to be touched" when they really mean "I just don't want YOU to touch me" and will jump on the first hot stranger that walks by. I hate that he's more willing to talk about divorce than he is about him showing any effort to fix things.

[@k3upikachu]

Yeah, using porn to replace intimacy with his wife is such a huge issue. Porn can be fine - I told my bf I don't mind as long as it doesn't affect our sex life - but it so often becomes an impediment to a healthy relationship. My bf doesn't really watch it anymore and has been so much better in every facet of our relationship, honestly

[@Darthlucy1]

The issue isn’t the PlayStation or being a gamer. The issue is the lying.

[@RisetoStrength]

Nah, the issue is OP's behavior. Glad they reconciled but if she ever competes with him in the home again it'll all repeat.

[@Darthlucy1]

@@RisetoStrength I typed before I got to the updates. Yeah the issue is the husband isn’t very considerate.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@Darthlucy1 The wife isn't considerate either. At 2:05 she competes with him in his own home over contributions, showing a total lack of gratitude towards him. At 4:15 she trashes his appearance to other people online whilst elevating her own. I would put a lock on my door to get away from her, too.

[@brina4058]

CPAP makes a world of difference. Roughly 10 years ago I was diagnosed with sleep Apnea. The time before that that anytime I discussed with the doctor I was seeing at the time, the answer was always the same..."Exercise more, change your diet, and lose weight". Finally found a doctor that listened. It was to the point I could sleep 8 - 10 hours, get up for an hour and sleep another 3 hours. And yet was still exhausted. The doctor recommended a sleep study...sleep study showed the every time I would start to go into REM, I'd stop breathing, briefly wake up and start all over. Now with my CPAP, I'm awake, lively, and ready to tackle the day.

[@Darkfur94]

Withdraw your labour girl. And when he finally pulls his head out of his bum and asks why tell him LOUD and CLEAR why!

[@RisetoStrength]

I know if my wife stopped supporting my 60 hour workweek, I'd sell the house and car and start a new family somewhere else.

[@ineedhoez]

This is not about sex. This is about her carrying the ENTIRE relationship!!!! Good God. She works full time, does all of the chores, and takes care of EVERYTHING else needed for the family. Jesus Christ. Just go be a single mom. You are already one.

[@MsJubjubbird]

She has let it happen though. When he withdraws she tries harder to please him, rather than letting him come to her.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@MsJubjubbird No. She wasn't trying harder to please him. 2:05 is competing with him in his own home over contribution, that's exhausting. 4:15 is trashing his appearance to strangers whilst elevating her own. 6:05 is failing to recognize she's the one doing this.

[@cynthiaholland13]

I'm So, so glad for the major changes the husband made!

[@rosebellewaihenya4888]

Such a frustrating situation, why does marriage feel like one person is always being understanding while the other person does whatever

[@ladymorrigan5950]

OP shouldn’t have to beg for affection. 😢

[@threeducks157]

When I’m gaming pc/vr/switch and wife is in the mood, that shit gets yeeted to the side lol. I love gaming, but I like sexy times a lot more.

[@storiesfromtheweb2]

Glad they’re finally on the same page. Marriage is a team effort, and it looks like they’re heading in the right direction. 👏💑

[@subutterfly73]

wait...7 year old co-sleeping until the last 6 months?!

[@RisetoStrength]

You're not a parent and never will be, but it's normal. It's healthy, even. I held the position that it wasn't good for a child's development but it turns out it's exactly the opposite.

[@Lestaticate]

Gotta love stbx’s rehearsed response that basically says “I’m sorry you feel that way, but-“ Literally took a cancer scare to make him actually start “caring”.

[@sadisticrainbow9689]

Story 1 - My bf was working 13-14 hr days 7 days a week all summer and he still helped out around the house. This dude is trash just for that excuse.

[@RisetoStrength]

Then what the heck were you doing? How was he working that much and you didn't have *EVERYTHING* covered for him at home?! No wonder men are done in 2024.

[@casr01]

"I'm sure you've seen the tiktok of the wife's stocking not having anything in it" 😂, ya sounds viral popular

[@sylviathimba7289]

New studies show that children who slept in their parents bed until they were seven are more secure in themselves than those who didn't

[@nyteshayde1197]

I'm glad they found a way to reach each other.

[@kitarrah1422]

Reminds me a lot of my ex-husband. He'd constantly ignore me for video games. Any time I needed something done or wanted to go somewhere, it was like pulling teeth to get him to tear himself away from those games. No matter how many times I tried to talk to him about it, and that I needed more attention and affection, he never changed. My ex was also a covert narcissist and cheated on me. Now you know why he's my ex. After the final update, I'm hopeful for this couple. Here's hoping that he really has become a better husband and father, and that he won't just revert back to his old ways in the future.

[@stephaniesomer5934]

I used to be a gamer… then i realized the people in my life need me. So i leveled up IRL… that’s a real challenge with real rewards. Her husband is engaged in escapism and is selfish. 🤗❤️🇺🇸

[@RisetoStrength]

She's elevating herself whilst putting down her husband to strangers on the internet. He isn't selfish, he's done.

[@Nortarachanges]

Hope this comes out right, but I’m glad you made the effort ^_^

[@tomatosoup4618]

​@@RisetoStrengththen he needs to divorce her and set her free instead of acting like a little boy

[@kecward78]

ROOT CAUSE??? Nothing in the 'solution' tells of the core problem. The CPAP? Sure, but he ISN'T tired after work. He has the energy to play video games for hours. The ONLY reason he changed, at all, was because he saw the meds in the cabinet and realized he'd have to spend time watching HIS daughter if OP dies. It's like they patched the road, but left the reason why the patch was needed unresolved. I don't see this as a permanent resolution and expect more probs, sadly, down the road.

[@Kati_P]

As soon as my SO stops pulling their weight and they won't change their behavior, I'm done doing the extras for them. They can pack their own lunch, wash their own laundry, cook their own meals, and do all of the little things for themselves. If they don't value me and what I bring to the table, then I'll stop bringing it. And, your partner isn't your sibling (or, at least, I HOPE they aren't). You need to show them that you love and appreciate your partner on a slightly more regular basis, not take for granted that they're always going to be there. You shouldn't take your family for granted either, but that's a whole different story.

[@RisetoStrength]

Perhaps OP should have showed him that she loved and appreciated him. Unfortunately, she's showed US that she feels no such love. At 2:05 she tried to measure her contributions against his 60 hour workweek like she's another man. At 4:15 she drops the "I'm not that bad looking, and he's short, overweight and balding." Clearly no admiration of him here, she's willing to elevate herself and demolish her husband in front of internet strangers. At 6:05 she acknowledges that her relationship has turned into a pissing contest, but not that it's her fault it got to that point. If you try making a power play by no longer supporting his 60 hour workweek as you said you would, he'd be better served reducing his expenses by removing you from the household and working shorter hours. I can't imagine there's a lot of men that would want to put a ring on that attitude.

[@ineedhoez]

Take it one step further, just leave the relationship. Don't waste your time.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@ineedhoez Do you know how this advice works differently for a 30 year old woman than it does a 20 year old?

[@tomatosoup4618]

​@@RisetoStrengthare you the husband in this story? I'm starting to wonder

[@ineedhoez]

@RisetoStrength The advice is the same regardless of age. Your fear of being alone, leaving, and starting over is what will convince you to accept poor treatment in relationships. The irony, of course, is that the only thing that makes a man get off his ass and do what he needs to do is the fear that you will lose you and the benefits that you provide. Look at it this way... You could spend 10 years in a marriage and not get your needs met. Alternatively, you could divorce, take your time to heal, and meet someone new. In 5 year's time, you could be with a whole ass new awesome partner. Instead, you've wasted 10 years begging him to change. You FINALLY, give up, check out, and then the man comes in trying to fix it. Unfortunately, it is too late. You are done. There is nothing he can do to fix it. It has been 10 years of neglect. Now, imagine if you left in month 3 of the shenanigans? He would realize you were serious AF and fix the relationship. You would be able to accept his effort because you haven't been neglected for a decade. You don't have a decade of resentment built up. If you want to save your marriage, be prepared to leave it. The only language men understand is action. Behavior is a language. A man's behavior will tell you how he feels about you. If his actions are not loving, caring, or respectful, and then he does not love, care, or respect you. As a woman, if you continue to give a man access to you, cook for him, clean for him, and take care of him, your actions are showing that you are perfectly comfortable with the status quo. When someone fails to deliver, you don't continue to pay for service.

[@deifieddata4462]

"I even congratulated him on his weight loss, even though it was due to medication"..."He's short, fat, and balding"... OP is working through a ton of resentment here