12 Signs You Live with a Victim Mentality

[@reyafae5549]

Here's the 12, I took notes :) 1. Repeated reasons/ excuses of why you can't overcome situations. 2. Constantly thinks others have an advantage over you. 3. Negative feelings are always blamed on others. 4. Believes the world is against you 5. Constantly replays the past without growth 6. Often feel stuck 7. Doesn't take encouragement or advice 8. You feel powerless in the circumstances in your life 9. Your story is disempowering to you. 10. Constantly feel that you get the short end of the stick. 11. You tolerate abuse 12. You don't know what you want. Great video! Very insightful

[@SamuelAlder]

Hey great list, thanks for that, you happened to leave out #1, did you notice ?

[@reyafae5549]

@@SamuelAlder I didn't notice. I'm sorry! Thank you for pointing that out.

[@kathylostritto4483]

Thank for for doing this! Very helpful.

[@kayligo]

Where’s the list of how to change it 😳 ty for posting this list

[@Thankful305]

@@kayligo he goes through that in the video..."Its within you to decide, you choose!" (paraphrased)

[@beamprojectcic]

Great video! I would add a couple of others: 1. A sense of entitlement: feeling that others owe you something because you are suffering more than them, and 2. Reduced empathy for the suffering of others: feeling that, as you are always the chief victim, whatever problems other people have are trivial by comparison and so you don't need to care for them.

[@SirJoelsuf1]

Makes sense to me. I'd like to add another: An inability to forgive yourself. I actually believe that creates a paradox with the sense of entitlement and that's what creates nasty paralysis by analysis that a lot of those who think like victims get. I know that happened to me a lot when I was young and stupid. Nowadays I don't really feel the sense of entitlement anymore and I ALWAYS had empathy for the suffering of others (to the point where someone's bad day would drive me to tears even), but I have NO idea how to forgive myself for all the stupid stuff I did in my youth (and continue to do now sometimes).

[@JT0007]

I can tell you’ve never gone through childhood trauma. How anti-empathetic of you to not grasp that the reason people live with a victim mentality is they’ve been tremendously abused.

[@writerforlifeify]

@@JT0007 Your point of power is only & always in the present; let go of the past lest it encage you unto your last breath.

[@seaweed349]

@@JT0007 maybe you're not there yet.. Many of us have been tremendously abused..and now at 70, I feel the need to stop being a victim. That doesn't mean you don't suffer a great deal and need the comfort of others...make Jesus your chief comforter...ask Him how you can do that. Repeating to Him your hurts and anger and listening to His voice can help a lot. He never tires of listening to you. God bless in your hraling journey.

[@JT0007]

@@writerforlifeify Thanks, been making a lot of improvements. But my original point stands that we need to be more compassionate toward those with victim mentality. We should help them, not push them away. 🇺🇸

[@shenahpark1011]

This was such a revelation for me. I didn’t know that I was looping the same old thing all over again. I really need to stop using my past as an excuse

[@maxwelllucas4877]

sorry to be offtopic but does anyone know of a method to get back into an instagram account..? I was stupid lost my login password. I would appreciate any assistance you can offer me

[@abrahampalmer8761]

Same I'm grown and need to grow up and move on

[@veromescla4445]

Have you been ''bread'' by a fucking mother or father who used you, manipulate you and made you believe that in life there are ''gentles victims and awfull oppressors'', so you choosed to be a victim to be gentle too ????

[@JT0007]

@@abrahampalmer8761 How’s it going so far?

[@writerforlifeify]

Interesting how looped excuses morph into cages (of one's own making).

[@helena.j8008]

It never crossed my mind that I might have a victim mentality until I started watching videos and reading articles. It leveled up my mindset.

[@cryptomanual2920]

This is the biggest fuel of addictive behavior. Helplessness

[@harrysecombegroupie]

This is one of the most perceptive comments I've ever read!

[@Angie-AFB]

Had to go back and watch this video again to remind myself. The flesh loves to be a victim, we have to make the decision to do the opposite of what we feel in order to become am overcomer. Thank you Lord for the Holy Spirit!😃 This is a daily and lifelong decision, there will always be reasons and circumstances that make us want to maintain a victim mindset.

[@thirdcordbiblicalcounseling]

This is so on the money! I was looking for a Bible based video and this is PERFECT! I'm working with my group on this currently. This vid says it simply and says it all!

[@laraoneal7284]

This is excellent. #11 is the only one I’m not doing. I share my abusive childhood bc I’ve thought it was being transparent so ppl would know where I’m coming from but it ends up with me being toxic to myself. My victim hood has been my identity. I know now why I feel stuck is bc I am. I’m stuck in this belief system.

[@tailsntrails]

That was the kick in the pants I needed. Thank you.

[@mayajones1352]

Lord, I pray over any person watching this video that is struggling with victim mentality. Help us to remember the power of the Holy Spirit, for You gave us power, love, and a sound mind. In You, we have a sound mind, not a victim mind. Help us to change our mindset and transform our lives. Your Word said that we are more than a conquerer (Romans 8:37). We will no longer give the enemy power over our lives. You defeated the enemy already, Lord. We love you Jesus. Amen.

[@chantelles3641]

Just my notes. WATCH THE WHOLE VIDEO. Victim vs. Victor 1.) Repeating the *reasons* you cant breakthrough or have good experiences. Be honest. But dont get stuck! 2.) You think others have an advantage OVER you. 3.) Your negative inner thoughts blame past events. Take action! 4.) Thinking the enemy is targeting you. 5.) Replaying the same *stories* of pain. Break free from the loops. 6.) You speak of being "stuck". Need new understanding and applications and decisions. 7.) You dont take in helpful feedback? Do you listen and try to grow? 8.) You feel powerless about your circumstances. 9.) Your story is disempowering you. It feels "safe" because its familiar. 10.) You feel you get the short end of the stick. Rejection. 11.) You tolerate abuse and negative relationships. Stand up for yourself. 12.) You do not know what you want! Choose! Create an action plan! THANKS FOR THE VIDEO!! This was a very possitive Christian point of view. Thank you :-)

[@ladyboss1727]

Thank you for sharing your notes! 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@chantelles3641]

@@ladyboss1727 Nine months later and it's great seeing my own notes as well haha. This video has helped me a lot, but I still have a long way to go. Hope you get the help and support you need as well ❤ ❤ ❤

[@nikiqheassumi7182]

This signs are related to me. It's so eye opening and shocking to learn these facts. Thank you. Powerful video.

[@charlenemonique1]

💖💖

[@jewishbride5010]

I decree and declare me being victimized will not be my story to carry, I decree and declare I will no longer be and feel victimized and bind myself, my family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquintances, opponents and the body of Christ to a winner's mentality while binding to hell all victim mentality and binding to hell every lack of freedom from a victim's mentality, binding to hell every unequal yoke and common share with those with a victim mentality or those that victimize others while lacking a winner's mentality, in accordance with john 10:10, romans 8:37, 2 corinthians 6:14-18 and this whole message, in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah!

[@Shadoessa]

I’m glad he said your problems are legitimate and you are likely a victim of abuse. It’s nice to feel validated like that.

[@LizNeptune]

This video was so important, thank you.. you broke it down so well. I am at the tail end of a 3 year long psychological moratorium. I have admitted, studied and understood my trauma and identified my abusers and the ways which my dysfunctional family has hurt and hobbled me. Check. Now that I understand what's wrong, I realized that I am afraid of the future where I KNOW what's wrong and I don't have it as a crutch. I've read that this moment is so crucial in developing into adulthood that from here the road splits into 2: either I continue limping in the future, allow my issues to consume me which makes it now MY FAULT or I..... change. Bloom, blossom, forgive myself, let the past go, discipline myself. I am trying snap out of it..... thank you

[@ToniAnnBarandon]

You're amazing, Liz! You can do it!

[@nyokabigsby5205]

I've struggled with the same thibg in my life. It's going to feel strange at first without it, but its so freeing not to be held dpwn with it. I went through something similar being aware of the dysfunction around me and how that affected me but now allowing God to heal me of it and move to a better me

[@ki11aqueen5]

But you arent blossoming. You're still doing the mundane tasks that you always did before so what's different?

[@pikestudio2417]

@@ki11aqueen5 A change in mindset can turn even the most mundane of tasks into life altering events. Ask anyone whom is in deep deep depression how regularly showering feels, or washing a few dishes feels. To most it is just another task on the list of many others, but to some it’s like conquering a giant. All about perspective!

[@abrahampalmer8761]

Same to need to let go and move on

[@hengkelly7200]

This is so crucial for my own growth in this journey with Christ. Breakthrough happening, as I reflect as well. Thank you so much for this video that you filmed! God bless x

[@SymphonySays]

I am an atheist and this was still helpful and eye-opening to me. Thank you.

[@sonyafromtheh6225]

Same

[@bianca4829]

My grandma has this the other day she said God put us here to be sad. It’s very concerning. I’m very happy to see another Christian talk about the strength that God has ALREADY given us. He LOVES us and would not abandon us by making us weak and frail. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want us to learn to stand on our 2 feet. Because even being over protective and saving someone from all their mistakes is not a sign of love it’s a sign of enabling and it doesn’t help someone long-term it actually harms them. So thank you for this message

[@bubbapan]

This is a great video for identifying someone else's behavior too! For the longest time I dated a person with this victim mentality and only felt terrible that I could never get him to believe in himself or see the positive things in life. I felt useless. Any obstacle or small problem would throw him off and he'd show off all of these symptoms, but now I know that it wasn't my fault for not being able to make him happy, he just had a toxic mentality that I could never change. The only person that can is himself.

[@michellete8545]

This man dragged me. I would pause after he explained each point and I figured ok let me write an answer to what he is asking or what first comes to mind and wow I got all except #4. I need help. I wrote and wrote and read all of it and yeah. I kept repeating my family. My family is a consistent theme here and not having left them to go to college. Instead I stayed in the state and never left. There are other more personal things I won’t share but they are all tied to my parents. It’s like...i wanna cry but I’m so happy I did it. I need to change this. How incredibly toxic and painful this is.

[@Louslight]

Thank you, this video made me see my growth in real time. This was me once upon a time and I would have ticked all of these! Thank you God for setting me free 🙏

[@Dadd00]

When I stopped the victim mentally in my head, it was like me dropping 50lbs dead weight! OMG! Now, I can truly work on myself. And I refuse to pick that weight back up!

[@Campcrystal1]

Just listening to this and I would like this guy to go through what I have and still do, because not everybody gets severe trials.... Again the blame always falls back on the sufferer

[@kennybajoon4434]

Amazing video, man. All the things you said were true. It's often hard to find material on the 'victim mentality' topic, and it's weird because it's a common mentality that lots of people carry around. And a lot of us are going to meet people like that. So thank you so much for this

[@marktdejesus]

Thanks Kenny for the encouraging feedback. I agree with you and hope I can continue to address this in a helpful way.

[@mark5694]

Thank you for Wise Council am Truly Grateful .

[@adewdew6019]

I have been dealing with what you're talking about for 40 years, I guess the Holy Spirit sent me here. I'm 48 years, no relationship, no job, no track record of employment, I just recently gave my life to christ now only to realize that I was dealing with victim mentality for 40 years. Now, you have given me a solution I feel liberated. I was thinking of lying on my cv to get a job but the Holy Spirit won't let me I kept getting convicted. All I'm hearing in my heart is to use my faith ... everything you've said seems to be pointing towards me. You are heaven-sent I feel liberated. it's 4 am in the morning in the UK and I just couldn't sleep, then the Holy Spirit asked me to type in victim mentality then bang! it was u saying exactly what I have been dealing with without missing a thing. wow, I need to follow every idi biddy steps of your advise. Thank you and God bles you .

[@marktdejesus]

Really glad to hear my videos crossed your path! I pray it brings about great fruit in your life.

[@adewdew6019]

@@marktdejesus Thank you so much I have it on my phone now on replay and I'll be following your instructions to the T and I will keep u updated on my progress .Thank you so much once again.

[@rahawa774]

@@adewdew6019 Wow, I feel so impressed by your testimony! Thank you for demonstrating to me how to face a tough personal reality with humility and faith :) Good luck on your journey to healing x

[@adewdew6019]

@@rahawa774 You Welcome Rohawa

[@godsproperty2167]

God bless you. Keep strong

[@chocolatesugar4434]

7:00 but sometimes it IS due to an advantage that ppl find life easier. Not saying it should be used as an excuse not to go for our goals but facts are facts, some have advantages and access to certain things that make it easier to succeed.

[@destroyraiden]

I hate the term victim mentality it seems like a toxic word you have been victimized! So you're hurting from that but we make it a negative and basically victim shame them for being hurt. One must mourn, feel the pain, or process the pain & trauma that happened to them but I get the mentality part of this word is them then holding stagnate (after a few weeks or many months of being held there) in the pain or being unable or unwilling to process beyond it so it then becomes a problem but this whole word needs a better rephrase.

[@ravenraven966]

I had the same thought... Sounds like victim blaming. 🤔

[@amberg4775]

I searched “victim mentality” on KZbin and found this video and I’m so glad I did. I honestly feel way more seen and understood in the way I’m feeling towards my best friend. She is guilty of everything on this list and it is never ending and exhausting for me. I don’t know what to do because she is so firm in her mindset that I’m scared if I tell her she needs to change she will completely write off our 20+ year friendship. Thank you for making this video though.

[@sunsetstormx]

Have you ever tried to tell her? Maybe if nobody ever tells her she'll never be challenged. Love always speaks the truth.

[@sammysam2615]

Life is under no obligation to be fair to us. Make the best of what you got, cause when we die, none it matters

[@retardedhorseshakarunshaka3755]

My sister has a victim mentality, and every time she does something wrong (like recently she maxed out her credit card buying clothes and shoes that she didn't need) she would find some crazy way to blame it on our mum or anyone else in the family, (mum also paid all her debts). I don't even want to talk to her.

[@NookTommy]

me too. never see the fault in herself. highly demanding and clingy. dealing with her is like walking on eggshells. one wrong word and she will throw tantrum or when being confronted. worst, im the youngest in the family so dont think she will ever listen to me. i feel better if i dont talk or see her. and im sure if i tell her this, she is gonna go, "yeah no one loves me. im useless blah blah" this is how she typically react. i really dont know what to do as we are staying in the same house.

[@Eve90]

Definitely when I’m fearful especially when I’m about to embark on something new i tend to go into panic mode and self sabotage and fear, lots and lots of fear. But the LORD is good all the time! He drops in my mind many countless moments when he was there for me and protected me and did not let the enemy steal it from me! Even when I did things to aid in my own sabotage. God Bless HIS name! ❤❤❤

[@rachelneal3263]

I'm so glad you went over the story replay. Unredemptive sharing. This is a big one. We will often tell the same old story with no movement or help around the bend. It's the same old replay. This creates patterns.

[@sarahtuke]

Thank you for this video - I really enjoyed the break-down and the bibles response to it. Could I ask you do another video on how to avoid misidentifying a mentality of: ''Self-victimization' vs 'Self-gaslighting' and scriptures take on it? I can imagine that many people who are searching for this video on their own are trying to grow and may not be 'self-victimizers' but rather those accustomed to being gaslighted - now using this video to confirm they are the earths largest victims, when rather, they are simply craving (as many humans tend to) to be validated - and God has already done this.

[@zainonechiamanell964]

This is powerful thank you so much. Can't believe I've been doing this all this time

[@ruthramosmuniz164]

Thank you for this valuable insight. This totally speaks to me.

[@eevie22]

I have a friend that checks out all of these boxes. At first I really believe that her life was just that much harder (given her childhood circumstances) and I tried empathizing with her and giving her great advice to get over her struggles and negative attachments, but it seems like everyday she would regurgitate the same story and how everyone was always against her. At first I hadn’t realized that she was in a victim mindset (because her childhood was so rough that I thought the trauma was so overbearing). But one day, I was at the dinner table with her, and she said something that shocked me! We were talking about how we shouldn’t have invited a specific group of friends over one time (because they were very annoying and wouldn’t respect boundaries) and she then mentioned the name of another friend that we shouldn’t have invited over. When she mentioned his name, I asked “why? What did he do? He was fine the whole night?” And she said that he had forced her to take cocaine. I was shocked, because I was there that night they both took cocaine and he never forced her to do anything. I was the one who saw her hesitate and I told her “You don’t need to do it if you don’t want to” and he kinda egged her on before saying something-along the lines of “If you don’t want it, there’ll be more for me”. She ended up taking some still. In that situation, she could have said no, I even reminded her that she could have said no. But she did it anyway. And because she put pressure on herself to take it she feels resentful to the wrong person. When she said he forced her, it all clicked and made me wonder if all the things that she told me that had happened to her really happened to her or because she let it happen to her. And because she didn’t listen to herself she now feels resentment but projects it on others and blame others. When I caught her in her own “lie” she started crying and saying that everyone always tells her that nothing happened etc. But now I see why...she creates a whole narrative in her head for situations where she had the choice to refuse but didn’t listen to herself and now it’s somehow someone else’s fault. The fact she started crying when I called her out on her bullshit really made me angry...because how dare you accuse a good friend of my like that...knowing damn well you are responsible for what you took. He never forced her to do anything.

[@AMcDub0708]

This story is messed up on many levels. Why are you even hanging out with people doing drugs?? Some friend.

[@dja192]

@eevie22 there may be some truth to what you are saying about your friend … but I would like to add that cocaine is highly addictive and she may have began using to cover some of her guilt, shame and trauma from the past. She obviously needs treatment and counseling to help her unravel her childhood stuff. We have to be careful not to victim blame. We weren’t there to see what went on in her childhood. The thing that she may be the most guilty of is blaming someone for her usage, but we can’t just dismiss what she may or may not have gone through. You may need your establish boundaries with her at the least, but it sounds like she needs an intervention.

[@dja192]

@@AMcDub0708Great point in that “bad company corrupts good morals”. It is dangerous to be near heavy drugs like that and the people who use it … being that it can cause peer pressure to try it. Eventually those using behaviors can run off on us.

[@user-ew8ye1fu5t]

Cocaine users are not your friend, they only care about themselves hence the cocaine use. They will not be there for you, instead they will be doing drugs with whomever is stupid enough to partake with them. Just don’t let it be you.

[@arisu229]

Ellen the overcomer. I like that. Great workshop.

[@Rachtale]

there was a while ago i got out of this mindset but i completely see what you mean by finding it all too familiar and it fools us into feeling safe, its how i found myself going back and forth. i recall an ex telling me i had to get out of this mindset yet it really threw me off when they were tolerating it, and it was the same story we kept throwing back at each other like it became contagious. they kept so much to themselves as a defense mechanism, which in turn lead me to not knowing they were feeling 'stuck' and i let myself be provoked to say somethings i regret which i felt no control over, but it is our own decisions to what we say/do. we need to be in the present, not stuck in the past where we get lost to thinking we have no control of whats already happening to let history repeat itself. we always have a choice to move on. history only repeats itself when we let it do so. we both had this rejection mindset, like the one time i said something wrong, they refused to see me past that. as far as they were concerned, i blew it and it was hard to see myself past that when they couldn't, but we can't rely on past to keep replaying if all its doing is hurting and leaving us feeling 'stuck'.

[@junowood5951]

Victim mindset comes from childhood trauma and thinking that other people had a better headstart in life and an advantage is a real thing because these people do not have cptsd. Doesn’t mean you should just wallow in self pity but it is harder flr some than others. I feel “victim mindset” is literally blaming the victim of cptsd

[@jennifercoleman1437]

I love information on the Internet. What I don’t personally find profoundly helpful is people asking me to subscribe, like, hit the notification bell. By now, everyone on KZbin knows what to do if they like or want to subscribe or hit the notification bill. We don’t need to be told we don’t need to be told we’re gonna miss out on. If we like your content, we’re gonna subscribe and will follow you. It’s wasting precious time for your channel to be telling people that when they just want you to get into the content. I say this in the nicest way possible. I want your success.

[@RenaissanceMan29]

The learned helplessness theory of depression absolutely suits the issue you are sharing, hence, trauma etc. Nicely put my man! Keep it up.

[@BrianDonato]

Awesome content - Destroying victim mindsets is so important! It's something I discuss in the latest video on my channel as well, & providing a blueprint for my child on how to be tough & not embody victim mentalities. Thank you for the content.

[@marktdejesus]

Thanks Brian!

[@oliviacaroline761]

Thank you so much for this video! I have a friend who’s in an abusive relationship and I was watching this to kind of understand her thinking more, but this video also made me look at myself.

[@ccbam32]

This speaks volumes to me so much I thank you so much for sharing this! I didn’t realize how it’s been stunting my growth God Bless you ❤

[@Audrey-k2h]

I agree with these signs Big revelation that I came to is Who are you associating with that is causing all the chaos? And learn wisdom so you can make good decisions

[@ArkaneEvangale]

"The victim story becomes a protective mechanism." So true. It becomes so intrinsic, and it precludes the possibility of anything ever being better or worth the risk. A disease for meaning and worth to be sure.

[@hannamaryjohnson]

This guy just defined my present state of mind😳... Thankyou.

[@sarahbatsford4791]

Very inspiring video that got my attention. Thank you so much for showing me who I became❤

[@danielhanawalt4998]

Most if not all these 12 things fit perfectly a young man, late 30's, I know. It's like he's caught in an endless storm. Hand him a rope and for a short time he pulls himself out of the storm only to fall back into it. Like you said about feeling comfortable being in a negative mind set. He seems to get almost angry if you offer any advice or words of encouragement. Maybe it makes him feel uncomfortable if he sees a way out of the storm. Calls himself a loser sometimes and makes remarks how everyone else gets what they want and he never does. You get the feeling if you help him again and again you're just enabling him to stay in the storm. I just keep praying he'll see and put to use his potential which he has much. For about the past year I've seen signs the prayers are working or at least helping.

[@lileelisamc.4722]

victim mentality is about failure, face-saving, and the ego

[@jamesgentry13]

It's frustrating when you try so hard and fail multiple times while the person next to you makes it look easy and.doeant struggle

[@lorisullivan327]

Thank you! I need this! I’ve definitely made progress, but I see things I need to work through...Mark you have such a great way of teaching and breaking down!

[@dlim5687]

Great video! Our society is plagued with this self victimization mindset that result in much of the entitlement mindset we see, so glad to see your video in helping making the world better!

[@macsu67]

As if you just held a mirror in front of me, thanks to God it's a fading rusty mirror already! Unfortunately your books are not posted to where i live, but the videos are great great help, thank you so much!❤🙏

[@eoinMB3949]

Yep I had most of these. I didnt even see it, that's the worst part. But God in his grace has made these things visible to me and thankfully I'm coming out of the victim mentality. What I've noticed though is that the victim mindset is everywhere, its rampant in society. So many people feel justified in their victimhood, it defines them. But in reality being a victim is straight from the pit of hell.

[@ShannahAvila]

Victim mentality could benefit with CBT(COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPHY)

[@evieagoston-pearce3838]

In my experience of having had decades of CBT it hasn't helped an ounce only asking God in his grace to help me has helped. So I am on the journey and thank Mark for practical points.

[@AmandaMG6]

Guided meditation while sleeping is MUCH faster.

[@MegaMohit26]

I didn't know till now that I was having this mentality and need to improve upon it. Looked back in past that it has developed since childhood that I didn't notice this mentality now. Just need to be aware of my thought process and break through this sort of mentality. Thank you so much!

[@denielleplacide1574]

This was an excellent presentation

[@JCneverFails]

I don't know how to stick up for myself. Sometimes I freeze and don't know what to say. Or I say something that makes it worse or embarrasses me whether is a response to a slick comment or an actual attack. I wish I could just take a joke. Sometimes when I'm feeling accepted I'm Good but as soon as someone ignores me or perhaps just didn't hear me or if I don't get a reaction I start losing my self confidence and begin to try hard or shell up. Now I go from being a great funny guy to weird.

[@TheSquiggleySpooch]

a king time friend of mine is exactly this! She always says “i had no choice” or “i have no choice”. She prefers to be forced into something so she doesn’t hav to be responsible for the decision. She also says i other people are victims or martyrs but never take responsibility. I’m like girl that’s YOU! She has 2 kids from different dads and once when she was complaining about it i said well, girl you had babies and she said “that wasn’t my fault!!” Like what? Actually you made choices that led to that, yes the dads are jerks and don’t contribute but you still had a part in your life!

[@lunabee89]

Just a thought I wanted to share because I think it's interesting and maybe others do to. I noticed personally that releasing and processing an event is very unique to the person. Some people need to keep revisiting the same stuff they went through in order to process it. I do agree that it is about allowing the process but to try not to get stuck and dwell. However, being careful about the other flip of the coin in that it could prevent someone

[@lunabee89]

From full expressing and therefore processing in the case they identify with having a victim mentality and not allowing the procesessez

[@SirJoelsuf1]

That fourth sign...I used to LIVE by that. Used to tell nearly everyone around me that there was a conspiracy against me, especially in high school and all the way up until around the time my dad died (mid 20s). Would make my dad livid almost immediately (just like him saying "'I don't know' isn't an answer" to me would make me livid lol) and my buddies weren't really having it. After dad died it was all about that last sign...just pure dread nihilism: Work at my stupid little retail job, lift weights and bowl (at least I had THOSE habits), piss people off online (very easy to do btw), don't care about the future cuz I've got none. This persisted until I turned 35 or so. Still kinda lingers to this day. I remember people asking me what my ambitions and stuff I had and would say back "I dunno, I just want to stop feeling so much pain." I mean my answer changed about five years ago but boy was I in a fog before then. Thing is, I feel like I've been on borrowed time since 25 or so. Attempted to off myself at least three times, would think about it constantly until I turned 30 or so. I actually believe I should be dead now and have outlived myself by at least 15 years. Have come so close to succeeding. I'd like to think I've gone from victim to overcomer but I dunno, still got a WHOLE LOT of rebuilding to do especially with my finances. I'm on the verge of being homeless nearly every month no matter how much money I make. All because I dislike myself so strongly, like I literally don't know how or care to forgive myself for being so stupid up until now. Kinda sad/funny that I'll be 40 in three or so months and still live like a college kid lol.

[@daughterofaking9004]

Very helpful! I was just feeling the Holy Spirit in past few days exposing this in my life and found this. Wowza! Good stuff and I love that it lines up with scripture!!!

[@alyssawatson9289]

This is amazing! You deliver this message with such love, kindness, and clarity. Thank you for sharing this message! ☺️🤓

[@leeboriack8054]

This video hits the nail on the head for me.

[@bouquetchocolatesandconfec77]

With out watching this video I know I suffer server ptsd from my childhood, my parents had ptsd from their childhood and the cycle goes on backwards. The past 13 plus years I have been working to uncover, realize, except, admit, digest and learn from my own behavior. That said my loop of feeling victimized and or lesser than continues. The little boy in me is still hiding in the closet afraid of when his father comes home because is mother hates him (her own words) and the beating, mental torture would commence. Being submissive people pleaser ( basic door mat for people) I turned into a collective bag of other peoples ptsd. The accumulation of peoples ptsd made me physically deformed by the stress of not pleasing others to like me ( feeding the victim child thought). After a bitter divorce I realize I attracted partners that where similarly abused victim people pleaser’s ( clashing ). My only son paid the price and through his own pain became an addict and overdosed and passed away last year. My ex left me out of the obituary and did not tell me of my son passing. I learned of his passing from a friend over a month after the fact. Today at 55 years of age I realize I can not relax - physically I am coiled prepared for a attack onto me from who ever and I play it out in my head at seemingly meaningless intersections of daily life. - I explained this to open me up bear naked and exposed so that I can just be - feel me honestly, completely. I love me and I have survived and that makes me proud. A broken tea cup can not fix itself ever nor will I fix the past. I forgive completely excepting myself and what I see In the mirror I love.

[@rosiemcking72]

Sorry to hear of your pain and especially the traumatic and cruel way you found out about the deep loss of your son. Please seek healing from Jesus, He truly can heal and transform, giving further supernatural strength and hope where there is none to be found some days.. Be blessed.

[@meenakumar9543]

The issue is 😃’if i let it go what can i do with all the free time, how can i relate with others coz i have been brooding over this for so many years and this is has been my most juicy story ever’ 😃 oh god what can i do instead

[@SR-pb6kq]

The hardest thing to get them realize they need help. Their ego is on the way.

[@janalibopearachchi907]

I’m glad I actually figured that I needed help ☺️

[@jamesgentry13]

@@janalibopearachchi907 why ask for helpwhen the other person doea t have to. Why can't we all just be on the same level playing field

[@abrahampalmer8761]

Yep pride often gets in the way

[@Thankful305]

These really made me think especially #12. As a believer I have heard 1000's of messages, sermons, bible study and have been convinced of ... >Dont flesh it out, be led by the Holy Spirit. >Rely on God. >Prayer and petions to God, Thy Will be done. >Trust Him, He will see you through, if He can open the Red Sea, he can help your situation. >He is able to do more than you could ever think. >Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. >God is the God of the impossible!! >He creates something from nothing...beauty for ashes. >He will make your cause shine like the noon day sun. >Lean NOT unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him. >Look what happened when Saul took matters into his own hands. >The flesh and the spirit are at odds with each other. The recall of these teachings comes rapidly into my brain; from 35 years of being taught.... Faith is the evidence of things hoped for. Wondering.... Am I a victim because of The Bible and relying on God to see me through difficult situations? Would love your insight and perspective on this.

[@kekort2]

For me, I made a bad decision many years ago about the direction of my life. I fell into a deep depression. Now, I'm afraid of repeating the mistake and falling to the depression again.

[@marktdejesus]

I know what you mean. I've had to forgive myself and give God room to allow me to see "failure" through a different lens...to allow His love to show me how to see myself in grace. I pray my resources can be an encouragement to you.

[@majinblackgear5bankaisuper151]

Same here !!!! I keep telling myself what’s done is done. I can’t change the past but , my mentality just won’t allow me. I feel like I’m still 18 but I’m 24 now...

[@natasjaverhofstadt6854]

No, a real depression is a neurological disease which you can not inflict yourself and which is not determined by outside circumstances. Only a medical neurological specialist can treat it. The other so called "depressions", you can make better yourself as well.

[@kekort2]

@@natasjaverhofstadt6854 I've been to a doctor. I know what it is. Mind your own business.

[@CHDean]

I have been victimized, but I refuse to be identified as a victim.

[@sparklefulify]

This advice, information , counsel is right on. And what I need. I have been an over comer but now I’m not. I think I have to get the book. Thank you for sharing all this wisdom.

[@chgofirefighter]

Many of the statements made on this video are very truthful. Without the deity beliefs or religion, it still resonates.

[@jacquelinekesterson7202]

Yikes! I say or do many of these things you've mentioned and I don't like it! Thank you for this video! It was tough to hear but it was extremely needed.

[@nezsa628]

Thank you for the clarity. I am sharing this now!

[@ethantanatsiwasesedza8305]

Thank you so much Mark bro. Stay blessed!

[@esthyluk]

Very powerful video! God bless your ministry 🎉

[@NisarAhmed-yc4rl]

Very enlightening and empowering, you touched my heart. Thanks

[@blakepacheco9176]

Amen to this video well explained and clearly thought out thank you!

[@respuestad.4754]

I tend to have this mindset because I had mental issues since I was like 11, got bullied in my first middle school and got sexually abused in high school.

[@ladytemjad]

Awesome teaching as always! God Bless MARK DEJESUS!!!!

[@marktdejesus]

Thank you so much!

[@ladyboss1727]

I just experienced getting feedback from doing #5 repeating the story. I immediately thought about this video and I'm rewatching it. It was so good to see the feedback in action and to know what they meant. Now I will be more aware of it. Thanks so much for the video! 🎉

[@ikealamp53]

Very informative video. I have a friend who has this inpenetrable fortress of victim mentality. He's very hard to deal with sometimes. Oh, and please buy a popfilter for your microphone.

[@Pistolpete241]

I haven’t listened to you in a while.Thank you for this info!

[@marktdejesus]

Glad it was helpful!

[@toprock1301]

Well. Healing happens when patters and ideologies get exposed so I appreciate this breakdown.

[@JessentialLife]

This was really good. Wow. Thank you for sharing this, it is refreshing to hear all this.

[@lunalopezperalta6983]

11. You tolerate abuse, so you need to come up for yourself => 3. You blame negative feelings on others => 5. you keep stuck in the past without growth => you break out of it and move on WITH growth and WITH a stronger mentality. Conclusion: to overcome victimhood/victim mentality you first need to ACCEPT the fact you WERE a victim (by discovering childhood trauma's, introspection,...) so you BECOME the VICTOR of your own life and victimhood (by coaching, therapy, changing habbits...). Once you were a caterpillar, then you broke through all the layers of your cocoon, so became the butterfly you are know. It's two-sided: a victim is a victor and a victor is a victim. Victimhood is a path to meet the victor in yourself and to be a victor you need to accept you were (and can be) a victim. (my opinion)

[@davidvalenta9394]

There's phrases such as "let go" and "take hold", "just trust"/ believe, etc... Some have said over time that it's just the same as standing there holding something physical & handing it to you, all you have to do is take it.. - but it's not the same: when it's an intangible.. And when other date, time, experiences & feelings are leveraged against this new idea/ intangible.. > How does one actually do that? It's it merely convincing ourselves of it? Mental assent? Talk like it's true? What if there's no place to file or plug in the God level truths? ie: the concept of a good father.. easy example /as many can attest, or if existing framework is unable to support Truth?

[@Sarah-bn1hg]

This is a problem with authority and who we let have power over us. If your ego is not big and you’re secure you’re able to have a disagreement without someone playing victim or even someone trying to RAT or snitch on you or claim victim for truly going in on their absurd behavior it’s how we GROW

[@jeannelima1589]

Thank you so much for this video ! I needed to hear this.

[@goldenrulebanner2896]

Oh me! Thank you very much for this!

[@marktdejesus]

So glad! Keep overcoming!

[@gwenoickle3584]

Oh my gosh! This hit So hard. Thank you

[@ariellecalderon8518]

Do you have a video exactly how to overcome these tendencies? Thanks! Great video!

[@Hopefilled-hz6dg]

My understanding of Calvinism led to this. Before I started trying to understand the implications of Calvinism I had a victory mindset. I felt free in Christ and was empowered. I’ve lost all joy and hope.

[@rosiemcking72]

Renounce Calvinism then and get back to the TRUTH of the bible scripture. If it is NOT in the bible, we don't want it!! Your loss of all joy and hope to which I have the odd struggle with too in my walk, MUST be overcome. We will remain in victim hood if we don't. Get cracking in and through the victory in Jesus and be blessed... IT IS THE ONLY WAY to be cured of this affliction, fueled by the enemy.

[@dyanswill]

Nailed it. Happy I found you.

[@danielsatchell8718]

Thank you for making this video. It has helped me gain understanding about the victimization mentality.

[@marktdejesus]

Great to know Daniel! Thanks!

[@stylist62]

This is really good, Thank you, keep teaching Pastor🙏🥰The Lord is doing miracles in me in a short time, but we need to do this for a while, we need comfort and peace safety before we can listen, I wanted to hear from Jesus, after narcissistic abuse. and people we can trust. 🙏🥰I am doing freedom in Christ by Neil Anderson, it’s amazing 🙏🥰

[@Carmen-bg4jh]

So good, very timely

[@inspireu9746]

Powerful message

[@ashleyh.2178]

Thank you so much for this. I relate to so many of these and have been suffering from this. This has been so so helpful I will listen to this again and again. May God bless you Mark!