Marrying up to escape your class

Giving my opinion on the possibility of marrying up to escape one's social class. Talking about marriage as a route to social mobility.
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#socialclass #England

[@JadeJoddle]

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[@Hermanubis1]

Furthermore, if your aim is class then this is a red flag. Having a family and tradition is more important than money and whatever other superficial goal you have.

[@Hermanubis1]

My comment gets deleted. I talked about genetics. IQ and human biodiversity arguments against class. High IQ working class is better than low IQ middle class.

[@JahRod2204]

Happy Easter🙏 🎓Teacher Jade💐🙏

[@danielmaylove]

Is it just me, or are the pages of your courses and donations pages not available on your website? I'm getting this error: 403 Forbidden. Please check the availability of these pages 🙏🏻

[@cailamsil]

The bottom line is, I believe, if you have enough wealth to live comfortably, what else would you want in life? When you’re happy, when you’re satisfied marrying up or down doesn’t matter. You don’t care about what other people think about you. You don’t seek to impress other people. The UK is obsessed with class and money and that’s a shame. Be socially conscious, that’s essential, but don’t make it your whole life. Don’t think of people as belonging to a social class before thinking of them as people! This only brings unhappiness.

[@maalikserebryakov]

Wealth meets your physical needs. People meet your Emotional needs. Religion meets your Spiritual needs.

[@checosa777]

unhappiness, more like consciousness, i prefer to be conscious than naive! the element that brings unhappiness it's ignorance.

[@janebaker966]

Men can't think like that. Women can't.

[@cailamsil]

@@checosa777 I do believe that consciousness is important. Essential, actually, as I wrote before. I don’t believe, however, that to live for your own happiness and satisfaction is naivety. All I suggest is for people to revise their goals. Do you want to feel satisfied and be respected by the people you respect regardless of how much money you have to your name? Or would you rather frustrate yourself in failed attempts of belonging to a higher social class? I know that climbing the social ladder is the only thing that would satisfy some people. I know some people believe that upper class people are superior to them. I pity those people. They are the naive ones, really. The real world, where most people will not go up in the social hierarchy, is too cruel for them. We’re all equal, I hope you realise that.

[@franklinrafiki3577]

I quite agree , contentment is key, whether it’s on lower or higher level we happen to be. Obsession with acquiring wealth and prestige is warned against. There is a reason this piece of ancient wisidom was handed down to us: « The sleep of a laboring man is sweet, Whether he eats little or much; But the abundance of the rich will not permit him to sleep. » from the King James Version of The Scriptures, Ecclesiastes chapter 5 verse 12.

[@cerdic6586]

After having travelled a bit, I have seen how much English society is dominated by class. In France and Spain, there are of course conspicuous outward signs of class discrepancies, such as material wealth, education, etc. But you could easily stumble upon a random person there and not automatically know what class they are. In England, however, the class discrepancies are enormous. Working-class folk tend to stick together and are sometimes passive aggressive towards upper-middle class people. Accents and social etiquette are also diverse.

[@fatimateresa19]

It’s because in Spain 🇪🇸 nobility has not as much power or money as they have in UK. Same thing for the monarchy. In France 🇫🇷 there’s no monarchy at all.

[@cerdic6586]

@@fatimateresa19 It is because England has not had a revolution since 1649, unlike many other European nations. And our revolution was comparatively mild, with the burgesses/bourgeoisie largely supplanting the aristocracy and then being enfranchised into a new nobility. A monarchy does not necessarily mean drastic inequality. Look at Denmark.

[@magyarbondi]

But you wouldn't want to live in a post-communist East-European dump either, where the upper class had been murdered or banished and was replaced by the so-called “newly rich” who took over the wealth and power.

[@gravelDave]

Not true. The class system in the UK is only defined by wealth just like everywhere else. It is very common now for children of working class parents to appear at very prestigious schools and that is simply because the traditional 'tradesmen' such as electricians, plumbers etc are very well paid jobs that previously were considered to be 'lowly positions'. This is no different to any other country of the world.

[@cerdic6586]

@@gravelDave Yes, I am an example of this. But it is still apparent that classes tend to prefer mixing mixing among their own kind.

[@noorulthagur8289]

An increasing number of couples in Britain, from whatever class, aren't interested in marrying at all.

[@Wearur_tee]

What are the reasons people aren’t interested in marriage any more?

[@Woman_in_the_Wilderness]

​@@Wearur_teelook at the divorce rate. Society has made marriage a joke - meaningless. That's why.

[@kittyluv2564]

Japan, China, ... are all like that

[@Autogenification]

@@Wearur_tee It's actually not much to do with marriage itself, it's to do with capitalism, and it's not just the UK, it's most first-world countries. It's just not financially viable to marry, let alone have kids, when to survive at a comfortable level, it's taking more and more career effort to do so. People are working harder for being able to economically participate in society at the same rate as previous gens than ever before - we have so much more things now (keeping up with fast fashion, tech that is designed to break after 2 years, subscriptions galore etc.) Not only that but why would younger people want to get involved in something that's a financial risk like that when they're bound to a life of renting and can't even afford deposits on houses anymore?

[@janebaker966]

But if children and property are involved there has to be some sort of legal basis of recognition of the relationship. No one ever REALLY just "walks away" do they?

[@diodio520]

It is subtle but powerful for one to feel the sting of the British class system. Of course, they are polite always.

[@AJ-hi9fd]

I married up but in my head I’m working class. I often see things from a working class perspective, I still insist on doing my working class job which I’ve always enjoyed. I dislike snobs, but the upper class are not snobbish,I find them very respectful, it’s the ‘all hat no knickers type’ who are the real snobs. We live in harmony because we can laugh at our differences.

[@maalikserebryakov]

Cope the upper class love calling us plebs

[@janebaker966]

That is my experience. Poor People I've never found to be the accepting non-judgmental sharers of myth. Maybe I've ALWAYS met the WRONG poor people but the ones I've encountered have always been mean-spirited and spiteful,and very abusive. I'm not talking about WORKING or "working class" poor people. I'm talking about the level below that. But all the rich people I've met (not mega or super rich) they've been imaginative and encouraging. You get to see how they got rich as people like them and want to associate with them. Sorry if this goes against the accepted narrative but it's true.

[@ignatzmoose]

@@janebaker966Inverted snobbery is definitely a thing, though maybe an understandable result of seeing how it’s easy for some and much harder to get ahead when you are poor. Regardless of the logic, it just reinforces the class divide. I think in the UK people rarely partner up with folk outside their class, but there’s a lot more involved than just wealth. I also don’t think the typical person can really change their class, though I believe their children can.

[@cerdic6586]

This sounds like a coping rationalisation. A lot of British people are too polite to openly flaunt their class prejudices.

[@funbarsolaris2822]

​@@janebaker966 You're being fooled by spectacle. People with lots of money can act fun, calm, intereting, generous and charming because having lots of money allows you to do so and live a life of pleasant, stimulating ease. You'll find someone who is working 60 hours a week, with bills mounting up, risking defaulting on mortgage ans going bankrupt, dealing with sick family members and not having the money to cope means you won't be acting so charming and care free. Yet often it is that hard done by person with basically nothing who will give to others in need when they've barely got enough themselves and those those rich, charming types who have more money than they can ever spend will not spare a penny for someone else. They can be capable of unimaginable cruelty and selfishness. I know I was raised partly in that world with alot of exposure to the very wealthy from a young age.

[@pauldove966]

Two of my father's three wives did this. It worked out pretty well for them.

[@arpitkumargahlot]

😮😮

[@JohnnyOttosson85]

I guess it took him longer to learn, but managed to get the lesson :-)

[@glicmathan1771]

Hypergamy is in the female genetics.

[@JohnnyOttosson85]

@@glicmathan1771 True. But it does not mean we have to entertain this.

[@luckystone2293]

Do you have a choice to entertain this or not? If you don't have the money it's not about you. A woman with a brain will only have children if she knows they will be provided for. And no, a roof over their head and food is not enough.

[@peterjohnston2196]

Why are you going to marry the person you love when you can marry someone who has a similar bank balance to you? Oh my Lord I hope people have more integrity than this and can appreciate the person and not the social trappings they may or may not have tied to them.

[@AJ-hi9fd]

When a man marries a Camilla or an Annabelle they are taking on a woman with huge expectations and they have to financially live up to this. These women are often spoilt and mentally, physically weak. That is one of the many reasons why my husband (Upper Middle Class) married a a respectable working class girl. He also finds my skills (necessary skills when working class) like changing a wheel on his car for him instead of relying on the RAC useful 😂

[@andrewrobinson2565]

+1 ...😂🎉and working class girls have a better sense of humour that they don't lose over decades of marriage. ❤

[@ignatzmoose]

I know a lot of posh girls who are pretty tough, so always a bit of a danger to generalise. But an interesting thing I remember hearing is that men and I guess women choose partners to suit the times. With regard to the kind of women men choose, this is often reflected in the types of women Hollywood would put forward as ideal women. In times of austerity, it’d be the smart independent wise cracking girl who can take care of herself like Bette Davis or Claudette Colbert during the depression, but when times were good, like in the 50s & 60’s and presumably the American male felt he had a bit of slack and could choose a more pampered gal, it could be the Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe type. Interestingly both those actresses were anything but pampered and got there through toughness, but it’s the more what they represented. Not sure if this is true, really but it’s an interesting take on how we adapt to our times. Nowadays of course women have no need to be kept by men and that’s going to effect the contract, which is all for the better. 😉

[@manuelfg2902]

You know how to change a wheel of the car? Cos i don't..😂

[@andrewrobinson2565]

@@manuelfg2902 Neither do I and neither does my wife. That's not a measure of manhood, just a measure of 0km assistance car insurance 👍🤣+1.

[@manuelfg2902]

@@andrewrobinson2565 agree 😂😂😂

[@MaleOrderBride]

This breaks my heart!!! 😢 this Jade girl seems so nice...but she seems to depressed/obsessed with class😢 who knew England was still stuck in the past?!?😢😢

[@rasklaat2]

Maybe she has come to the conclusion that she herself once was a very attractive and bright young working class woman who could easily have married someone from higher class what would be her best decision in life but she hasn't and now since the time and her chances have passed she realised her irreversible mistake and it haunts her every night.

[@MaleOrderBride]

@@rasklaat2 she does seem a bit sad, yes

[@danbaltic9678]

Class is a pretty big thing in UK. Overall even now many of the best looking women opt for rich guys

[@MaleOrderBride]

@@danbaltic9678 I guess so. My country is not like them...

[@danbaltic9678]

@@MaleOrderBride which country you're from?

It only happens in Mexican soap operas...

[@ItsmeA717]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@freds.8775]

Maria la del Barrio, Maria Mercedez, Marymar.... ok, you are right, BTW mexicans aren't the only gold diggers in the world (if you ask me, Ukranian women just want a foreign passport and money), mexicans have quite good values still

[@billyliar1614]

Sounds about right. We're so very addicted to our nostalgia for Victorian power-play fetishism here in Blighty aren't we. All the while we slip down the global pan and our standard of living capsizes. England is like a senile old man still harping on about the glory days while being ridiculed by the young gangsters next door. Sclerotic social mobility does not foster dynamism or social enterprise. Anyone with any sense under 40 will make every effort to emmigrate.

[@ivangirin4207]

Hormones play a major part in relationships and marriage. Young enough people don't think with their brains in such matters. If they did otherwise most marriages wouldn't happen and most children wouldn't be born. This gives a chance to those who want to marry up. However, a relationships survives when the man and the woman have common values which isn't the case when they are from different social classes. Saving vs splashing out, education effort vs hanging out with friends, etc.

[@martinvanschalk5973]

Women indeed can do it a lot easier than men. A man will not care much about his partner's wealth, provided that the woman is pretty, young, cheerful, and so forth. On the contrary, status is much more important for a woman to decide her partner. I've seen some cases of lower class men marrying up, but those cases are very rare.

[@johnkeane1419]

In those cases, the woman takes the man's lower status. Only women can truly marry up.

[@littleredrose6254]

Lady Chatterley's lover was the groundsman. @@johnkeane1419

[@Pauline_Lily]

@@johnkeane1419very untrue. Not anymore. Men do elevate their position through marriage as well. It’s always been like that, to be fair.

[@cerdic6586]

A man typically stands more chance of social mobility through merit, whereas a woman through genetic inheritance (beauty).

[@Englishsea24]

Do you think that man would ever be respected though? His wife and others will treat him like a child

[@ectoplasmicentity]

Not sure how your channel was recommended to me but I'm glad I watched. I'm American living in Los Angeles and I watched your video about social mobility along with this one and I am surprised. We here in the US have this rosey image in our minds that British people live well, enjoy tea time, travel, are well educated and love football. I suppose we don't think of the daily grind that Brits go through to make your lives better. I believe it is easier to go from the poor class to the middle or upper middle class here in the US. One way I see people do this is through real estate. They buy a house, renovate, sell and make a profit and continue until they live in wealthy areas. I have family members who have done this but they still seem "normal" and not upper class snobs. I guess it's different in the UK. God Bless and many blessings to you and the great people of the UK.

[@ignatzmoose]

Yes, we always hear that Americans are way less class conscious than we brits, I’m sure it’s true. Here you can tell so much from an accent and we all know it, which I believe is not really a thing in the US. The thing about real estate is that in the UK there are nowhere near enough homes for the number of people needing them, so the price is artificially very high relative to wages. It;s basic supply and demand. It’s a real mess. Most younger people, under 30 are unlikely to ever buy a home. They are 9 times or more the average annual salary. And as a result landlords are able to charge such high rates that saving for a deposit is a massive challenge. Then you have older wealthy boomer types who bought their houses yonks ago that are sitting on fortunes (sometimes) and of course they help their children out with deposits to get on the property ladder, which locks in the class privilege. Nowadays in Britain family money is a much bigger indicator of how you will do than a university education.

[@ectoplasmicentity]

@@ignatzmoose Thank you for the response. I believe now the housing market is similar in that it is so expensive to buy a house. Most people such as myself are staying put in their homes and not selling because if they do they will get a lot of money but still not be able to buy their "dream house". This in turn is making homes more expensive. I'm only 41 years old and bought my first and only home in 2017 and it was the best decision my wife ever had! Yes now it is much tougher to get into the real estate market to make a profit. In LA county there is so much diversity, accent is no issue. There's wealthy areas of Chinese, Korean, Indian and of course white. My heart goes out to you guys in the UK.

[@vaska1999]

Oddly enough, studies show that these days there's more upward mobility in Europe than in the US.

[@eliv.7062]

All of this happens in my country too, especially in recent decades, with younger people depending on their parents or family properties to start a life of their own in spite of jobs and education but it happens in all the social classes on a different scale. It's more like an extended global phenomenon, I think.​ @@ignatzmoose

[@magyarbondi]

I don't know about the US, but in Europe, you already need to be wealthy if you want to flip houses because they will tax you sh*tless.

[@theodentherenewed4785]

When you define social class broadly, so apart from wealth, you also include values, habits, manners and connections, a marriage of people from different classes also brings those differences in personal traits. Then, of course, the chance of that marriage being happy is low because of those irreconciliable differences in character. What changed between the past and now is that people are more aware that they need a wife or a husband who's more similar to them, i.e. shares the same values, habbits or the philosophy of life. In the past people were just more motivated to put up with those differences, now they try people out before they commit to someone.

[@aalassadi3844]

Women have been doing this for thousands of years. The best solution is to not care at all. Do your best and try to be happy with what you have.

[@katerynavolkova-shapovalen995]

But it is not possible everywhere in the world

[@JohanVenterELearning]

I like your videos a lot, Jade. It gives insights into the English language when things other than grammar, pronunciation, or tenses are discussed. Your discussion about class, poshness, social mobility, etc. one can bring into context with the teaching of language. A language is never spoken outside of its cultural context. We used to have lots of British people working in South Africa, and I can remember how some of them had 'airs and graces' in the eyes of some of the others, who then derided the former as 'common as muck'. (Their words, not mine.) I didn't quite get what they meant in those days, because all people were more or less equal as far as I was concerned; except for those who were more equal than others. (Nowadays, those who were less equal back then, are the more equal ones!)

[@ericsupportadventure9577]

As someone who would identify as upper-middle class who grew up in a neighbourhood of Toronto, Canada which was upper-middle and upper class, I can definitely say the Anglo-Saxon class system is oppressive on all sides, even for us. I feel like a snob as my standards of women are too high. It really holds me back.

[@derikuk2967]

Keep your standards high. The man is the prize, and he should be aware of that fact.

[@valeryburmistrov6900]

Anthon Chekhov, a prominent writer and dramatist, once said in a joking way: What an injustice: a man needs to serve for decades to become a general, while a woman needs just to marry a general to become general's spouse...

[@sara31145]

Men comparing to women, are known for being a resourceful people. So, don't make fun of women😅

[@helloimandrew]

So Anthony became gay and married a general himself😂

[@michalzy]

Hi Jade! As your biggest fan from Poland, I have been following you for years and have enjoyed every video you have published! You're so intelligent and beautiful that it's just impossible to put it into words! Keep up the good work! Luv u!😘😘

[@JadeJoddle]

Aww that’s sweet. Thanks ☺️

[@danbaltic9678]

I remember your videos from years ago, like 2015. Content is still interesting but you seem really sad :( hope you get better and find happiness in life! ❤

[@angrytigger83]

Lack of social mobility can be very disruptive to society. Young men withdraw in to apathy or hedonism. I don't think young women are coping well either if social media and OF is a barometer.

[@littleredrose6254]

What's OF?

[@BloodMoonASMR]

@@littleredrose6254OnlyFans

[@jianbinweng]

Thank you for another video, Jade. This may be a sudden question, but is this your natural pace and rhythm when you speak every day? I just found that your voice has such a magic that would calm me down and make me listen patiently even when the topic is difficult! Love it!

[@JadeJoddle]

Pretty much. 👍

[@jianbinweng]

@@JadeJoddle Thank you! Wish you a nice day!

[@Monkdewallydehonk]

Can't wait jade.

[@66longinus]

Hello Jade What you say in this video reminds me of something I witnessed a few years ago. I was having a coffee in Paris ( I am french) and at the table next to mine two girls in their twenties were seated. One was telling the other about the date she had with a guy the day before. Her friend asked her if she was going to see him again and she answered something like "Oh my god no ! He's a nice guy but he's driving an AX" The AX is a low end car, the cheapest in the Citroen brand. Sorry for my English.

[@rasklaat2]

What a surprise! Materialism really exists and some people are calculative greedy bitches instead tirelessly search for a true love!

[@johnkeane1419]

These videos might not refer to language, but they're great.

[@titigino6337]

You are the best Jade. Tu es la meilleure. J'apprends beaucoup avec toi.

[@yurirodriguez5456]

I'd like this path of learning English, using whatever subject to think about. Even though I'm not interested in social classes it's been interesting to discover this feature of British society

[@lenalarina59]

I absolutely agree with you

[@RakhmanovRecords]

What I gathered from your videos is that the UK is an extremely dull and "posh" place, a land one should never venture into. We were aware from our school lessons that British foreign policy has always been nasty and cunning. Now, I realise that even the ordinary people are no better.

[@ignatzmoose]

It’s not a posh place and I wouldn’t call it dull either. Agree that our stupid foreign policies are a disgrace. I guess our leaders trying to stay relevant when we are no longer a world power, far from it. I think our problem is exactly this class thing we suffer from, we are led by an elite and it’s going more that way with every generation. Most ordinary people here are wealthy compared to the non western world, but poor relative to most other western countries. It’s a mess.

[@KantoCafe715]

Not really

[@ianinkster2261]

British foreign policy is to shadow the USA. The forces that want to extradite Assange are the self-same forces that connect British foreign policy with the USA's.

[@charliesomoza5918]

I'm Spanish and the social class here is very similar to the UK.For the British, in the surface, (And I understand that) probably seen things differently .Ex empires with a very profound social class history ( UK, Spain, France, Portugal etc.) Is abominable BUT is very curious that always are women who complaint about monkey branching, with the laws generally much more with theirs are always "obsessed" with this topic. If you want equality and all the things that come with that...Why you are worried about to married up a social class? Is because you see more attractive men for the "higher classes"? More interesting? Is all about Class is in it? Noting was changed... unfortunately.Timeless.

[@cookymonstr7918]

Love the stripes 😀

[@bobbydazzler8684]

Been following your channel for a while and always enjoyed your observations about class and language, but it strikes me you are far too concerned about social class, to the point it's causing you harm. You seem to be smart and capable and can get by without wishing to be someone else. It's 2024 not 1954. Come on, Jade, let this nonsense go!

[@hannaR_]

My thoughts exactly!!

[@joshua6244]

I agree. I believe most British people don't think much about class. I didn't agree with the video about "social mobility". It's years since I've even heard that expression use.d The people who have the most status in the UK are doctors, followed by barristers.

[@mother104]

Totally agree darling 👍

[@janebaker966]

Jade,you are such a ray of sunshine! But I'm totally with you on this one. Your analysis is spot on. I have an example of this in my own family. A niece of mine,single mother on benefits at 17,the proverbial to get a council flat (it never was 'just a myth') spent the next 20 years out clubbing actually seeking The One. Never got pregnant again,but not for want of trying. But was a good Mum. Her son now near 30 has a well paid responsible job and HATES people on benefits. Irony. But,in a kind of fairytale happy ending,out Cinderella MET the one when He was out clubbing! Now she lives out in the countryside and took to it in five minutes and she's like Lady of the Manor looking down on us ignorant townies oiks. He didn't choose to marry her because she knew all the names of wild flowers (she doesn't) or loved hiking (she drives everywhere). He chose her because she was hot in the sack and also would be a good mother to his 3 children (she is). To be honest the later feminism was always based on a myth. That it was about hard work. I've had to work hard all my life because I'm ugly and never had a man. In fact all women's success is based on their sexual capital. (A woman USA academic got in trouble for saying this). Even women who achieve success in business,academia or the media + arts tend to be coincidentally attractive AS WELL,in fact a pretty girl will get praise and reward for doing half the work of an ugly one who will go unnoticed. Not saying that's wrong,just saying thats how it is. Actually the Aristos are nowadays more likely to marry a black woman of one or other ethnicity than an English girl off a council estate. But those Aristos wives will have family wealth in India or Nigeria or central Asia.

[@widebleek8138]

An English Woman married a very rich Man and thought this is the glorious life. Until one day she was driving her Mercedes sports car and at a traffic stop started talking to a Man who was not English. In the end she left her multi-millionaire husband for a non English Man who lived in a tent next to a skip in Peckham. The story went into the newspaper. And the reporter asked her why did you leave your husband who worth over 100 million pounds? The English Woman’s answer was:”Money isn’t everything!” ❤💪💷

[@magyarbondi]

Regardless the topic of the video, I like these ‘expositions’ in a longer format.

[@anthonyscully2998]

The class system exists in Australia as well. People who live in the country or in the outer suburbs have a completely different way of life than people who live close to the city

[@hk_200k]

Most people do not have time to think about their class until they pay up their house mortgage and vehicle leasing. And after that, they don't care about class anymore.

[@monicaaparecidaoliveira8063]

Jade, I agree with your comments, however, those who wish and are determined to go up in social class will do whatever they think is possible to get it. So, in my view, that strategy o change class still works for some.

[@spiritofclay3758]

Hypergamy is a natural thing for women and I don't have any issues with this (as a man). I believe that this natural fact keeps men focused on being a better version of themselves. My biggest issue is that MANY (not all) women quickly attribute any successful traits of the man to themselves soon after and ultimately lose their humility which is utterly unnattractive to men. Men are NOT looking for another version of themselves! Men want to be different and recognised for overcoming challenges in their younger years (normally invisible to women at the time). I remember how women treated me when I was younger, men don't just forget these things. Be nice to the young grinders ladies

[@charliesomoza5918]

TRUTH TRUE

[@siriluckworsfold]

Middle class from Thailand and married working class uk guy, mind you work along side narrative uk but I do find hard to make friend, over 30 years, but I never wasted my energy with them...

[@wodzimierzbabel2834]

you're absolutly right! people are people and life is the way it is. nobody can help human nature so misalliance doesn't serve well both sides in a long run

[@mehmettekin9142]

Totally agree

[@willforrhall]

Can you elaborate more on what actually is class please?

[@user-jf5ro8uz5n]

I'm American and I was born in an urban setting only because my mother chose not to give birth at home. (There weren't any hospitals where we actually lived.) I have a university education and I can express myself very properly when I think it's necessary or at least appropriate, but I wouldn't consider myself a member of the upper crust by any stretch. Also, I'm not concerned about what anybody (from either side of the Atlantic) thinks of my accent. It reflects who I am and I've chosen to keep it. Peace.

[@MangeTout-fv8sj]

The video was about the English class system. Not American, which is different.

[@cquarman]

So the current tight economic situation in the country causes a more financially protectionist approach in marriage, further reducing social mobility?

[@HarkerTV]

Hello, first of all, I am very surprised by what you say about social classes in Great Britain. I didn't know it was like that. Yes, I knew, obviously, because of the Victorian and Gothic novels, that in the 19th century there was that difference so marked in the classes, but I didn't know it was still like that. I also knew it because I know that Marx wrote, well, most of his work in England, so I knew that there were obviously many social injustices and many differences because that kind of thing is written only when there are large spaces between the different classes. Personally, it surprises me a lot, it is a subject that I did not know. I remember when I went many years ago to England, the Blue Doors for the high class, and well, I would like to know if there is still the classic difference there between what is aristocracy and bourgeoisie, that is, those who come from a certain lineage and those who only arrived relatively recently, one or two generations ago, to be rich. Also, well, as you know or not, I am from Argentina, there are other people who are from other countries, perhaps from America and perhaps from Australia or some other part of the world, where this topic does not exist so much, it is not noticed so much and perhaps a person from a social class manages to escalate and see it in another way and I think that Americans are going to share a similar description. It surprises me a lot what you say that still in the 21st century these differences are still noticeable in Great Britain. For the rest, I apologize for my previous appreciations about your person, perhaps it was a somewhat rude form of sincerity. But it did surprise me a lot to compare your current videos with the videos from a few years ago, when you put on wigs and imitated different accents. And well, that was much more strambotic in a point, and this way of seeing you surprises me a little. But what matters I think is seeing you and the topics you are raising, which are very interesting from a sociological point of view. My kindest regards.

[@Kemal_83horbi]

Yeah mostly i agree with you, in mean time i think love is important too beetven two People 😊

[@vikramad36]

Yes, that’s true. Some people, although a minuscule proportion, don’t care much about class. Because it takes lot of maturity to overcome class consciousness. Most people see the world only with those glasses. I really like a woman who is independent and has a broad outlook.

[@fire58372001]

Actually, marrying up has been around for centuries. I see it all the time here in the U.S.A. We have a saying, "If you marry into money, you're going to earn every cent of it the hard way." Meaning that you'll always be an outsider to the family. As for intimacy, I guess that women really don't care about that. I base all of this upon personal observations. Thanks for putting out the facts of life in this great video. 😁😁

[@youknowkbbaby]

I didn't even know people still got married in the USA.

[@glicmathan1771]

Hypergamy is a common motivation amongst American women. It’s a major reason why men have wised up and are abstaining from marriage. Who wants to be valued primarily as a status/money object? Women’s hypergamy is preventing them from being in long term relationships, so they better rethink their motives and values. Most men only want a loving partner. Most women only want a provider. This has been revealed by many studies and metrics. The family is in serious crisis.

[@billyliar1614]

Totally agree. "Provider'' in modern society basically means someone to pay all the bills. Thus, women are holding men to 19th Century values while in many cases exercising their 21st century right to out-earn them or asset strip them in the divorce courts. How does that work in practice ? I think we all know the answer to that particular question, don't we

[@Vid7872]

Hypergamy is common amongst fathers. There is no way his baby girl is going to settle for less than the standard that daddy worked to provide for her. Daddy makes his boys work but his daughters marry well. This is normal in all countries and will be so with your daughters too. Historically, fathers were worse. They would slam the door on suitor after suitor who dared to show up in less than appropriate clothing. Trust me, you will expect the same

[@PaulaOx]

These same men are the ones most likely to abandon their families or ailing partners Try again Most American men are incapable of fully providing Most American households require 2 incomes The average American man's annual income is about 40k which is absolute pittance

[@ignatzmoose]

Dating to an extent is a market. Everybody, or most people want to find someone they love and loves them, but also they want that person to be good looking, kind, funny, smart and have ‘good prospects’. Only some people can have it all and they probably have a lot to offer too. I don’t think it’s inherently disingenuous to factor in or weight any of these attributes more than any of the others. I think kindness and wit are wise things to value, all else being more or less equal. I think generally people aim for people like themselves, hence marry out of your ‘class’ being uncommon. I remember hearing that George Harrison’s wife, who was off course very good looking and intelligent and all those things, complaining that it was hard being married to him, because he was… George Harrison, and everybody wanted to be with him. Some people have it all, but maybe aren’t the perfect match for you. All this speaks more about the way our society is structured, where many people increasingly see the only way of getting a decent life is to find a wealthy person. So much for meritocracy.

[@billyliar1614]

@@ignatzmoose Marriage has become a deeply unattractive proposition for a lot of men, whether or not they have economic status. It's pretty much a free employment market for both genders and yet it's men who take all the economic risks. Aside from appearances/social conformity, where exactly is the incentive for the average Jo to invest in the system ? If he has no resources, she won't want him. If she does want him, he wouldn't in his right mind want to ''settle down'' with her. Where does this lead ? To a lot of short-term relationships for women and chads, a lot of single disengaged men and a lot of bitter women. Hardly a recipe for a happy society eh

[@michaelclark1501]

Thank God I live in Scotland it sounds horrible down there

[@alexfrog9191]

Hmm....my workplace in London is full of Scots. Why did they leave?

[@carlosceballos93]

One of the most realistic videos ive ever seen. But I would say is not the o ly way

[@gingerbreadzak]

00:01 🎓 Marrying up entails entering a committed relationship with someone of a higher social class, potentially leading to a shift in cultural experiences. 01:21 💍 Marrying up was more common in the past, but nowadays it's relatively rare, with people having more options and concerns about financial compatibility. 03:19 💰 With the increasing costs of living and financial pressures, marrying up as a strategy for social mobility is less viable and often impractical. 04:14 🚫 Pursuing marrying up as a social mobility strategy is discouraged due to its rarity and the complexities of social dynamics and wealth disparities. 05:19 💔 Relationships with individuals from higher social classes may face barriers beyond personal compatibility, such as financial disparities and lack of social connections.

[@joeshmoe7899]

Life is a beauty contest.

[@tyashin111]

It seems like people have such happy and interesting lives in the UK.

[@martinalban7706]

Blimey Jade, echoes of Lady Catherine from Pride and Prejudice there! I'm from immigrant stock but probably perceived as Middle-Class. I'd not think twice about a woman's background as long as she could meet my expectations and we were of a similar mindset. I agree the English are still obsessed with class and we can box people within seconds. I enjoy your insights. If you want to be perceived as really 'posh' ( there is an undercurrent of this in your work ) live in Glasgow for a while 😆

[@javiercantor3326]

Could you please next time improve the quality of the sound, its very low. Thank you.

[@myhenrygee]

I agree with you. The rich don't even see lower-class people as human beings. Why would they marry someone who isn't a "proper person". It is similar to pursuing pure blood.

[@lea1822]

I've seen it happen either as a particularly beautiful woman who can bring future status to the husband via good looking children, or in cases of maybe the third son of a rich family where the two oldest brothers already married to upper class women, so this third brother has more slack so to speak to marry down cause the other two already have secured another generation of wealth and prestige for the family name via their marriages within the class. In this second scenario the girl doesnt even have to be particularly beautiful, although it definitely helps that shes is at least a 6.5/10 lookswise. I think now with the Harry thing this last thing has actually become sort of cool but again, the main heir of the family (oldest brother) has to first have been married within the class as a general rule for this to be allowed to occur and be well accepted by the social circle. Now that is the female perspective. For men it's different. You can climb up the ladder without marrying up although it's true that you don't get to be accepted as a true member of the upper class society until your kids marry to an upper class and you have old money rooted grandchildren (exceptions exist is you become like extremely wealthy or have a 99.99 percentile talent in somethig valuable for society like a super prestigious professor of a respectable science or profession even without necessarily being a multimilionaire).

[@FulvioGa]

I think it depends on how much appealing is the man you choose.

[@Keon994]

How about marrying someone outside of England and escaping?

[@GeoffreyCaesarSolicitor]

I love the way you just say it as it is. It works the other way around too. It is rare for anyone to want to marry down but Prince Harry is a prime example. He was right at the top of the U.K. class structure, got married and became a chav (or trailer trash, since I guess that’s the US equivalent).

[@fatimateresa19]

With that IQ it’s impossible for Harry to marry down 🤣🤣

[@ignatzmoose]

What an amazingly nasty and frankly ignorant comment. Her father was a director of photography and she was educated at a fee paying catholic school, after leaving school she had an internship at the American Embassy in Buenos Aries, then later as an actor she was paid $50k an episode. I think Harry is lucky to have this woman and it’s clear they’re great for each other. When you think about it the Royal family are paragons of nothing more than inbred privilege and are obvious standard holders for this whole class ridden mess we find ourselves in. More power to him for giving it all up.

[@sergemichoels3937]

I am afraid, ma'am, that watching your video can lead to the aggravation of class struggle and to a new revolution)

[@dzfenster5608]

same all around the world

[@hongyizhou1734]

you ate queen

[@Sofia-se9wv]

Sad I think that we should never pretend the money the sacrifices of another Person! We should keep ourselves and work hard and honestly and make sacrifices and spare and never pretend from another!

[@serviustullus7204]

Why are Party invites highly relevant if one has intrinsic skills or talents and land?

[@carrie20074]

I thought social class didn't exist in the 21st century. This video sounds like something from Jane Austen times

[@hannaR_]

To me too...but I don't live in the UK, I live in Central Europe, all this class system is so foreign to me.

[@deanperez9426]

Good good 🌹

[@sergemichoels3937]

After watching, at first I thought of leaving the office from the 9th floor window)

[@pablogarcia8227]

Now they don't even give us the gifts they didn't like. Boxing Day (St. Stephens Day): December 26. During the 19th century, the English upper class had the custom of giving their servants the gifts they did not like the day after Christmas. Today Boxing Day marks the beginning of the most important sales of the entire year .

[@Monkdewallydehonk]

Hi Jade. I'm happy just being me. Great family great friends. Don't think I'd like a bit of nob in me.😉

[@freds.8775]

you're fine, the problem is for those who, let's say, have never seen the see and want to see it before dying. Actually, I think beyond classes, all that class-obsessed people just want to do or get something far from their status quo. In the case of Jade, I wonder what it is

[@carloshortuvia5988]

World became more complex and marriage is very unusual these days.

[@thierrypourcelle2082]

Good evening Jade. It seems to be the same thing in France. Comme chante le poète ; " j'ai l'honneur de ne pas te demander ta main, ne gravons pas nos noms au bas d'un parchemin" G. Brassens

[@thierrypourcelle2082]

I have the honor of not asking for your hand, let's not engrave our names at the bottom of a parchment.

[@deebeecooper8619]

Nice. Now, talk about the Family Courts.

[@sergemichoels3937]

ma'am, after watching your video, I felt like I was back in, say, the Victorian era. Is social stratification still so obvious?)

[@terryo5672]

Never wanted to escape my social class. Very happy to be a rich scouser that employs a 150 people. I hire people because they’re bloody good, I don’t care if they are posh or not.

[@pablogarcia8227]

The middle class around the world is becoming less and less middle class, the upper class is much more exclusive and has much more money, it is a new world

[@strictlyyoutube6881]

A great example of this is Carole Bamford.

[@Westhamsterdam]

Can you really do this? It´s very rare that an aircraft pilot would marry an air stewardess. I think you need to address things like the social register. It definately exists in the U.S. & would have thought very much in the UK too. If you´re to talk about this subject then you must talk about the social register.

[@ianinkster2261]

She talks about it as a former reality, from the 1960s.

[@frankciccone8559]

Sounds like, if you marry up, you bring your spouse down. That may make you even.

[@olegcherkasky2755]

I believe that the sociological term for "marrying up" is Hypergamy. It's fairly common in poorer parts of the world. Interesting that it isn't common in England, especially after seeing your previous video about upward mobility not existing in England. Do you think that people should do it more in your country Jade?

[@johnkeane1419]

The extensive class differences in the UK make it much harder. British classes are completely different in every way and have nothing in common.

[@williambranch4283]

It works. Also education and elocution lessons ;-)

[@liam.4454]

I kind of agree but what happens if you have more money than the higher class, in the sense that you could be working class but are wealthier than middle class

[@JadeJoddle]

Such people tend to marry other wealthy working class people or foreigners.

[@ottoreitstock2465]

rich Jews in UK have more money than those "posh" old-school aristocrats

[@liam.4454]

@@JadeJoddle ok, thanks Jade, thinking about it, that's true from my experience, with people I know

[@maalikserebryakov]

@@JadeJoddleso what is class then? an invisible aura of superiority ,

[@parallelworldsguy]

@@JadeJoddleThat seems to be a basic difference between England and the U.S. It's not that the U.S. doesn't have classes but money here overcomes any class difference.

[@MelliaBoomBot]

I was told outright by the daughter of a Consultant that me, as a then health care support worker, would not have the interest full stop of a junior surgeon…and she was right, he wouldn’t touch me with a barge pole. Therein lies the insight of the north Walien middle class English speaking hippy community..

[@stephensandiford3981]

The majority of the time, the ones who can marry to move up the financial, social scale are females. Wealthy females rarely or never marry below their scale. I am an American and we don’t have an extreme class scale like y’all, but we have a lighter version of it.

[@mariotabali2603]

hey jade you just can't class up because you are already a lovely classy woman.

[@kocem3384]

What do you mean by that???

[@maalikserebryakov]

@@kocem3384gcse english time

[@Taylor47]

Instead of marrying up, why not acquire skills that can be converted into a second or passive income?

[@Taylor47]

There are only two classes: if you are working for someone , you are working class, it does not matter if you are a CEO or a cleaner. If you have people working for you, you are owner class.

[@ivangirin4207]

But this implies that a working class person may be wealthier or even much wealthier than an owner class person.

[@johnkeane1419]

Marxist tosh from 1873. UK class is caste like and pre-modern in many respects. Different classes even look very different.

[@Taylor47]

@@johnkeane1419 Yes, but this does not change the fundamental idea.

[@ignatzmoose]

Marx identified many truths that still hold today, in fact they are panning out as he wrote. To call it tosh is dumb right wing rhetoric. Owning the means of production is what Bezos does, the ordinary person, which today is the vast majority of people have only their labour to sell, or they are ‘benefit scrounges’. Nobody ever would call the factory owner a scrounger, even if they live a life of idleness.

[@peterhelm6003]

With so many women building great careers in paid employment a lot of men are marrying up. Forget the social connections. Happiness comes from your own assessment of yourself, not that of your social competitors.

[@eliv.7062]

I've watched the video because I was curious about the title and I've found it quite revealing. However, it calls my attention that no one has mentioned LOVE as the essential motivation to get married. Don't the British fall in love any more...?? Marrying up should never be a goal; in fact the idea looks dated and disgusting to me. I think it's usually easier and more convenient to marry a person with a similar background and upbringing, unless both are willing to try being in each other's shoes and enrich themselves through their own differences.

[@zazenzach5754]

Everyone speaks ill of the US but in my experience we are probably the most diverse, open and tolerant society. We definitly have our problems, but we have social mobility (with enough hard work and luck), and we all tend to have relativly diverse social circles.

[@glib4233]

That's the "temporarily embarrassed millionaire" meme isn't it? No amount of hard work is enough by itself.

[@zazenzach5754]

@@glib4233I grew up on foodstamps and now own a house, and am on target to retire in my 50's. 80% of millionaires in the US are self made. the europeans are better at helping the poor, but the US has more socioeconomic mobility than anywhere else in the world.

[@ramonabigan4588]

What about. an eastern european woman marrying a uk citizen of indian origin;who has marrying up?

[@CR-rm4iy]

that's like a parallel society, and an EE woman can easily have UK citizenship by "just"(it's more overcomplicated that that) waiting if on EU scheme it's so much of a parallel society, that no party (poles, indians (except the ones with no papers perhaps), brits) nor social class would envy in slightest either of them

[@jaydunstan1618]

Women tend to do that, and can do that due to beauty.

[@valeryburmistrov6900]

Nice as always. Thanks for this 'cultural context'. However, British history knows some extremely impossible marriages e.g. Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson and, more recently, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...

[@Iridescence7770]

If those ladies didn't have some level of wealth and/or social capital they would have never come into contact with those men.

[@georgeszurbach444]

Why on earth would you want to marry up? Its just a source of conflicts ,stick to your social class .

[@AnthonyKellett]

I think one reason, for the lack of men marrying a woman of “lower class”, is the general quality of those women, in today’s society. Historically, this phenomenon was not just a class difference, it was also an age difference. Men, in their 30s and 40s, were looking for women in their 20s. Whilst making your ‘observations’, take a look at women in their 20s, today. What high status man would risk the respect and reputation, that he’s spent years building, to have it destroyed overnight by dating a tattooed, pierced, promiscuous 25-year-old, with a body-count well into double figures? Of course, this is a huge generalisation, but it probably accounts for many anecdotal observations, depending on where one lives and, therefore, what one witnesses. On the flip side, women raised in a more conservative household, with a mindset to preserve their reputations and value in the dating marketplace, tend to be from higher levels of society, today. This kind of upbringing was far more universal, a few generations ago. High quality women (in terms of femininity) were plentiful throughout the social spectrum. Moreover, if you add in the spectre of divorce, and the risk of being chopped in half on some womanly whim (maybe a better prospect - or greener grass - offered via social media), it’s hardly surprising, to me, that men are becoming more cautious. It’s often said that men, today, pay four times as much as their grandfather for a woman worth a quarter of their grandmother. Whilst these numbers are arbitrary, it strikes me that the message is generally accurate. Of course, it must be said that men are not without culpability, in all this; but that’s another subject.

[@ignatzmoose]

Conservative much, I see not only is lack of social mobility is making a massive come back, so is reactionary sexist attitudes. What we all need to do is organise to create a fairer society and turn back this ridiculous system that only works for the rich.

[@sugarfree1894]

Both women and men do this. It can work, if that's what you want :)

[@Englishsea24]

I don't think I've ever heard of men marrying up. It seems to only work for women. If you know of any cases please enlighten me 🙂