Managing Intrusive Thoughts After an Affair

After an affair, many of my clients often experience "flooding," where overwhelming negative thoughts and emotions engulf the betrayed partner. This video discusses the impact of reacting defensively to these flooding thoughts, which can hinder the recovery of the relationship (if desired). The video also touches on the time and effort required for this healing process, acknowledging that it's not a quick fix but a journey that spans months, even years.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
Reaction Reset is a self-help series that explains the psychology behind why we react negatively and how we can begin to make a positive change. Subscribe for a new episode every other Wednesday!
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[@toadman5184]

Problem is that once the trust has gone, it doesn't come back. I might stay with a betraying spouse out of convenience, but I would never actually trust or respect them ever again. Some things can't be repaired or put back to what they were.

[@NykoleParks]

Thank you for speaking to this. Emotional affairs are just as bad.

[@moonafarms1621]

A lot of great points in the book "Not Just Friends," however if there are children in the marriage I cannot fathom how painful and stress that would be!!!!! Thanks for sharing this.

[@Dachshundcrazy]

Not sorry im mot going to baby their feelings when they choose to cheat on me. I have a right to call out their shitty behavior im not going to be a cool girl and be nice about it. Because im not the person who fucked up. If they feel shame for being called out fir the choices THEY MADE, thats a them issue. Not mine. You cannot hurt someone and expect them not to react or call you out. It's unrealistic and unhealthy

[@lak1294]

Agree with you 💯. I just called someone out for hurting my feelings at the start of an emotional affair that they were clueless about and denied. Just awful.

[@mimihoward4459]

You are speaking to the cheater, i thought this was focused on the betrayed

[@Ash.Crow.Goddess]

All these videos I click on sound like they will help me, the betrayed, stop ruminating. But they are all for the betrayer. Annoying.

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@Ash.Crow.Goddess because the cheaters are in pain… Their wives usually treat them terribly and depriving them of intimacy… that’s how it all starts

[@cyrusfreeman9972]

Watch it again. There is stuff here for both, and knowing what to ask, your unfaithful partner for is incredibly important. I say this, as someone who has been through this twice already, and as someone who did a lot of things wrong because I didn’t know any better.

[@DianePersaud-f7t]

after 45 and of marriage my spouse is in an emotional affair..

[@DianePersaud-f7t]

I am reliving what I get to know of it for the pass 11months..daily..can't seem 🤔 to get it out of my head 🙃

[@cyrusfreeman9972]

Read “Not just friends” now and get your spouse to read it as soon as you’re done. Make it non negotiable.

[@abeso7896]

How do I stop feeling like I’m the second choice? Just because my husband’s lover didn’t want to continue the affair now he wants to work on our marriage😢

[@Gotoworkkk]

Until the next girl comes along…

[@christopherlundberg976]

The cheater has crossed the Rubicon.

[@jerry-mind-sky]

After affair soul ties are created and last forever.

[@keciaduke3494]

How do I reach you for assistance?

[@christopherlundberg976]

I believe all these female contributors have had affairs in their past.

[@RobertDybowicz]

Thank you. 💐

[@Odani_Fam]

How is your skin so gorgeous? Please!