Why Some People Struggle to Get Over Infidelity

Betrayal trauma can affect one's ability to trust and form healthy relationships, often leading to self-esteem issues, anxiety, and depression. It's crucial to acknowledge and face the trauma, seeking therapy or support groups, and practicing self-care to rebuild trust and self-esteem. Techniques such as organizing daily routines, distracting oneself, and learning relaxation strategies can help manage difficult emotions. Ultimately, the focus is on taking control of one's healing process and prioritizing personal needs to restore trust and potentially salvage relationships.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
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[@viiiRA_]

I'm curious what the argument for why infidelity _should_ be forgiven? (Especially when no children are involved) I'll address that I don't have a big problem doing the work for healing from that trauma however, I'll leave someone who cheated with no return. It's not difficult to be faithful.

[@janinejansevanvuuren7954]

The forgiveness is to release yourself from the rage of betrayal. It doesn't mean you have to stay in the relationship though. You do it for yourself to be able to move forward and not steal your future as well as your past which has already been stolen by the betrayal. Been there and it took me 10 years to move on. I regret that I gave the betrayer another 10 years of my life in addition to the 10 years lost on the marriage. If I could do it over I would have left on day one and have forgiven so that I could move forward.

[@lucdrouin4653]

Betrayal trauma is trauma, the real deal. It injures you. The way I explain it to people: you see in films people reacting on being cheated by their spouse; take the hurt you see on film, multiply it by ten and that is about how it feels. The pain then lingers for a lifetime. For me, it has been 16 years since “the incident”; I moved on, but it always is hurting. And it tints every prospective relationship. There are no escapes that I know of; I have to live with it.

[@busterknott4168]

This description of someone who has difficulty overcoming betrayal describes me in a nutshell. Listening to you describe this was almost eerie.

[@anewlifestirring]

Reliance on partners can shrink progressively, without a struggle to restore confidence. Emotional betrayal and infidelity are only part of mistrust issues.

[@ShaunyP26]

It's so telling that the picture is a man.

[@dedclownsRfunny]

Mary Jo I think you’re really missing the many situations outside the common. Some of us actually do deeply care about their AP. We began with a strong friendship though

[@andynorton5830]

Cheating is cheating and a dismissal of your partners trust