8 Reasons Men Fall In Love | How to Inspire His Attraction

[@Mat_Shaffer]

→ Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting next month! 👉 masteryofconnection.com/ QUESTION OF THE DAY - What have been the reasons men have fallen in love in your own relationships?

[@kre8504]

Mat, if you want this to stay @ the top of the page, you may want to find a way to pin this question!!

[@marilynwells275]

Mat Shaffer , I used to break into dance when I would hear a song on a commercial,or make up words to a song we hear on the radio, he was caught off guard at first, but up until the day he passed, we were married 35 years, we would try to out do each other, also we would go to the beach often and when he would come out of the water I would just have a big smile on my face and after seeing me smiling every time he asked me why I smiled and I told him he looked so sexy coming out of the water, he then always would check to see if I was watching and smiling , we did so many silly things to make each other happy

[@pamelahopson867]

Matt a very good topic to talk about, I found out that the reason why men falls in love with me, especially in this new relationship am in. The partnership the playing, safe,etc that's how i treat him like a king. Especially when he comes in the relationship, treating me as a Queen with the most respect. I'll go up and beyond for a good Man.

[@st0rmy88m6]

Mat, this is such a great topic. I'm in a current situationship and I do all of those things but I still see him as a baby giraffe 🦒 it's been 2yrs now and we have such great chemistry it's hard for me to let him go. I see the signs and he does invest and we hang out alot but he just very bad at the emotional and communication part , I don't want to lose him and check out but I just wish he would grow up we are 46 lol . Any tips or advice I'll take

[@jerseyginny6787]

My husband loved me for the values I had and how important they were for our growing family. He loved me no matter what problems we had however for me when he started cheating and lying it wasn’t ever the same for us. I stayed for all the wrong reasons. He promised me it wouldn’t ever happen but it never changed. There for about 21 years I felt completely loved and felt like he wasn’t cheating but I found out he cheated on and off when I was out of town. I finally give up and was so hurt and it’s hard to come back to yourself. It took me years to stop hating him with everything I had. Today we talk now and then and it’s about our kids and our beautiful grand children’s. Finally divorced but met a guy who I loved him so much and still do and we text ea other well me texting him. It’s been 1 yr when he walked out on me. We both were at fault there was no communication at all he’s going to be very distant really didn’t want me to know his family or his friends and every time he went home to where he was from I was only invited one time for the rest of the four years he went by itself so I knew then I didn’t mean that much to him but because I loved him I stayed in with his mood swings had no idea how to work the problems out because he just yelled at meI was at the time and he never called me when he was at work he wouldn’t answer my text for at least 5-6 hours later. I asked him to remove women’s numbers he wants up with and still kept in touch with Em he never did that for me and he still would send them a card to get in the mail early check in by me much for anything maybe at the yard sale for two dollars and some Giants yeah just think about if he was giving me that he might want to give it to someone else I don’t now but he wasn’t in love with me he wasn’t my soulmate I still love you but you’re never come back he wants to be by himself I still have a woman to sleep with well I’m not that woman I feel more than that I’m just cheap hi look for respect he never gave me any respect but he never did try to change for us. After watching your video wish I know how to do the advice. I hope other woman can get your advice before it’s to late. Thank you Matt and will use your advice if I ever get into a relationship very standoffish into trying to date bc of being used and abused again. My marriage lasted 35 years.

[@tigerpepper111]

8 Reasons Men Fall in Love 1 He can relax/be himself around you. 2 He feels emotionally safe around you. 3 He feels ready to emotionally invest in someone. 4 He deeply believes that he can make you happy. 5 You fit well into his current life. 6 He can see his future with you. 7 You have passion and purpose in your life. 8 He genuinely has fun with you.

[@linagirl8817]

Thank you ❤️

[@crystalthow5533]

Wow i didnt know i am eligible to all the 8 points. Thank you

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Happy to hear that!

[@sandyg173]

Be yourself. Be vulnerable. Tell him your truths. Be open.. Be kind. Be loving. Be affectionate. But mostly realise if it's meant to be it will be.. I found the one after years of abuse from a shitty relationship.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Interesting perspective, thanks so much!

[@GodIsLove7377]

APPRECIATION means a LOT to a man. It’s a sign of RESPECT. I make him feel like my HERO everyday and it makes me SO happy to give him that respect.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I’m so happy for you my dear!

[@valeriem7005]

Hey, Mat. I am an older lady and have been married for 41 years to my college sweetheart. Your videos provide insights into the masculine and feminine dynamic that I enjoy learning about. You help me see how and why our relationship has worked well all of these years. But I also learn about ways to improve our partnership and to connect on a deeper level. It is never too late to learn how to improve. Keep up the good work!

[@moonchild66]

So glad u have had a long happy relationship!!! Xx

[@DaBeautifulKey]

How long did it take him to fall in love?

[@evelinehaanstra9069]

@@DaBeautifulKey more important: is he still in love with you...

[@valeriem7005]

@@moonchild66 Thank you!

[@valeriem7005]

@@DaBeautifulKey We started off as good friends and fell in love gradually.

[@pureeraco.9177]

Just being myself!! I think that is a golden rule :) also realizing when a man is opening up, and appreciating him for it ♡

[@marthadillard5536]

Lb.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Glad to hear that.

[@patriciamasuda2506]

Two complete people coming together. Not two people completing each other. Most powerful point of all, no doubt. Your outline so well laid out, you could write a book based on this video alone.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much for your feedback!

[@barbaranavarro197]

I think we women do have needs as well and lately I have felt that men are the only ones in the relationship who need support. Its like they are babies! I am a woman and I want someone who knows who he is and what he wants. If he is insecure or he needs too much from me I'm out. I have done it before and it didnt go well, he cheated on me and i felt really stupid. Last time! If they need help, they learn first before trying to be in a relationship with a real and serious woman.

[@BA-hb9hh]

Bárbara Navarro it may be the type of guy your attracting. We usually attract the same type of guy time after time. Depends on your vibrational frequency and the types of guys uve dated in the past. Maybe try something new. 🙂

[@vhayashi7369]

@Barbara Navarro I completely agree!!!! They are BABIES! My last relationship he was a total baby Covert Narcissist and my ex husband was an alcoholic Narcissist. My best friend said this new guy I like doesn't want a relationship because he is insecure. You can't win. I give up. 🤷

[@sheilatolbertcamp8066]

No kidding. It is hard to see through the master manipulator and liar immediately. We put it all out in honesty and then get used. Then they are the victim. I never thought older men act so childish.

[@LEfaHB]

Why does your one experience make all men babies? You said it yourself. You need to figure out how to become a good enough judge of character to see when a man has himself figured out before the relationship phase.

[@crystalthow5533]

I can not 100% agree to your comment. Yes men do need support, dont we women do the same? I mean, it is important that you know he needs support, and they are glad that yoi are there to support them. Isnt that what matters in a relationship?

[@nathlete87]

O my gosh Mat, I found you through Helena and you’re a blessing. So many things I want to say, but mostly, thank you for bringing a male perspective that is based on feelings and genuine emotion. So many male coaches teach from a place of manipulation and strategy. You’re so appreciated.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

So glad my content supports you:)

[@deluluma]

i think it's been inviting them into my world, even if it's a mundane thing. my first longterm relationship was with a roommates friend and i was doing my skincare routine. he was asking questions about what all the products were for and i just asked him if he wanted to join me and explain it to him. nurturing is a big part of my personality, so it gave me the opportunity to do something in my comfort zone with a stranger confidently. i genuinely didn't think anything would come of it, so i was busy just having a pampering moment with him. and he actually really liked it because he would not only do it with me, but also started investing financially in products too. which was great because skincare is expensive. but it was always a positive experience because we had a passive, relaxing activity that took up time where we could just talk and goof around.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

This is an inspiring story!

[@DyanLZBB]

With number 5... I remember a past relationship where he didn't want to get invested in a relationship with me because I dreamt about living abroad and apparently it was all I talked about.

[@joyceanderson8648]

Jack Gritty No she did not!! She has a right to what she wants and if he did not want the same then she will find a guy that does

[@pamelamidlane1506]

This is the most telling man, about men... I have heard to date! So glad I found you, thank you🥰❤️

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You are so welcome!

[@reginareneerobertson]

omg lol, Mat why are you sooo funny?!? "aaaaare youuuuu open to luh-uuuv?" hahaha love how you integrate humor while you're giving us ALL the tea!

[@glenngimao4287]

THIS IS THE MOST TELLING MEN... I HAVE HEARD TO DATE ! SO GLAD, I FOUND YOU. ❤😍

[@Sacrednightrosehealing]

I do find what you are saying to be resonating with me. I feel like I have learned so much from my last relationship that it has led me here to truly understand what I want in a relationship with a man and helped me feel better about myself so I can hold more space for a man.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I’m glad you found the video helpful! If you're thinking about dating again, our 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' quiz can help you determine if you're ready. Give it a try! 😊 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

[@hawaiigirl8089]

Don’t count on his family accepting her! Big mistake Matt. Mother’s of sons often have issues with women. Especially if he is a mommas boy

[@Curiamacabre]

He is spot on about everything!! Amazing insight, how does he know all this?? Haha!! My boyfriend told me he realized he loved me because he could be himself around me, I am very open and have learned over the years to be ok with being vulnerable and honest and it does attract a real love. Sometimes we are not even aware of who we really are or what we really want unless we go through some relationships that end. Instead of closing ourselves off, we must move forward with what we’ve learned and be honest with the next person we meet. Always be real and don’t blame the new person for what the past person did!! Move forward together and the man will drop his guard and real intimacy will come out of it!!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Awww! So happy for you, beautiful!

[@julierose9624]

Awesome. I love this Mat. You hit the nail on the head with me and my man. He also tells me that He loves the way I live my life and that I have done well for myself. 🥰

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much my dear!

[@wendybrown2189]

I was a stranger and He fell in love with me cos i was soo caring and kind to him, even more so than his own family. Esp wen he was going thru a hard time. Stranger to friend to the love of his life!

[@Vibrantly_Monochromatic]

Fascinating

[@wendybrown2189]

@@Vibrantly_Monochromatic indeed it is natasha. Thank u!

[@leahjanulgue7200]

Wow

[@Mat_Shaffer]

AMAZING love that share!!:)

[@wendybrown2189]

I feel privileged to hear from u matt. Yes..mine is an inspiring story

[@winxclubstellamusa]

Why would a night owl and an early bird not be a good match? We would both have space to have alone time and do our routines at our own respective paces, and then be able to come together when we feel lonely at the middle to end of the day.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Interesting perspective, thanks so much!

[@winxclubstellamusa]

@@Mat_Shaffer you’re welcome 😊

[@reemsaif3105]

Your advice is gold. Sometimes I feel like you're talking about meeting a leprecon. That's how far away I feel from men and dating.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you for the compliment! I'm glad you found the advice valuable.🙏❤

[@kurisutaru206]

12:50 🤣 Played that a couple of times...hilarious!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

😂

[@Lifes_Frosting]

Seeing a different side of Mat Shaffer! Love it!

[@survivingcovid-19onagourme5]

Great advice!

[@survivingcovid-19onagourme5]

Thru my experiences, most men go into relationships strictly for physical reasons.

[@lyzoi671]

LOL, IKR ! super hilarious 😂

[@keshakellogg5995]

Three phenomenal things, Mat: 1) Advice 2) Hilarious video cuts 3) Bookshelf styling I super-appreciate your presence here on YT and offering your perspective. My friends and I benefit from it so much. 🙏♥️

[@laurapreston348]

He worked his way into my heart...i didn't see it coming! We are very happy!

[@dorothysmith7226]

so how did he do that??

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Happy to hear that!

[@travelchannel304]

Belchin' on the couch! Really?? I can Definitely do THAT one !! LOL just not sure how i would with this one guy! What the heck do i do when i notice that i feel deeply for a guy, way too sooon and we are NOT dating. Usually, this doesn't happen with anyone but one person. I feel like the baby giraffe. Anyone ive liked i always saw vision on. Yet, they didnt yse any of their potential on their own. I love that vision part!!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

vision is so important!

[@kellycovington3493]

That was awesome!!! You should be a rock star! I giggled...thanks your the best!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much my dear!

[@alonagsofly]

You’re smart. I have watched other male relationship coaches but you’re different. You’re good. You know exactly what you’re talking about and it shows how you talk with a heart, with real emotion. Just watched one of your video. Then watched one again.. I’m your fan now. Thank you.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart!

[@alonagsofly]

@@Mat_Shaffer _you’re welcome.❤️

[@Sound7heWarCry]

This is amazing content btw, Matt. You’re always acing it. Number 7 is my issue I lost myself somehow although at first I brought all my passions and purpose into it. Unsure really of how I lost touch. Thanks again I have a better understanding of why that’s important now

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much my dear!

[@les3682]

Great stuff, Mat! Loved it all!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@sanchez9552]

I am a vegan and try to stay away from all fast foods. I also believe that our thoughts can create our realities. My boyfriend definitely eats animals regularly, and has a depressed mood most of the time.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@hazellorane7823]

Vegetarians and non-vegetarians can live happily together! When you love and care for someone, you make it work and have fun!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I’m glad to hear everything worked out well.

[@a.h.2667]

I'm assuming these only apply to men who are emotionally available or have a secure attachment style? I have tried to do all these things, but it seems it was with men who were wounded.

[@DaBeautifulKey]

A. Holmes exactly!

[@jacquelinerosecoriana1039]

Same girl

[@Professional_Nobody]

A. Holmes yes, great point...these won’t work on men with narcissistic brain damage. Like if they play a lot or sports and get hit in the head or if they drink a lot, that’s all the same type of brain damage (damaged prefrontal cortex).

[@haizzzz7486]

Iv found with all the men iv been attracted to,connected to usually show me something within me that needs to be acknowledged. Have you found with each one a part of yourself you wouldnt of seen without meeting them? Because if your still attracting the same tendencies that made you upset with the previous guy, that thing that aggravates you is actually in you. It's not always what you think it is, it's more thinking from your shoes, keeping yourself in yourself, focusing on your reaction. The more you criticize men, the more you see within them, that criticism. It's easier to accept men as they are. Let them be who they really are. And it helps by accepting yourself as you are.

[@haizzzz7486]

@@Jackgritty28 isnt the word "wounded" criticism? What if they wernt wounded? What if you were the one who's emotionally unavailable? Who's wounded? . It's so much easier to see the problems in others than to see it in ourselfs. We are the ones reacting out of some sort of emotional upheaval going on inside, yet its everybody elses fault for what's going on inside🤔 Ironic dont you think?

[@landriahm6161]

❤️❤️❤️love this! We have all that! 😊 thank you for this

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You are so welcome!

[@juliesmith4086]

My man enjoys me because I just be myself. I laugh at myself, so he laughs with me. He says I'm a crazy English lady as I'm also unpredictable and it takes him off guard, as he laughs too, as i dont pretend to be perfect. We sometimes act like teenagers sliding down a dusty bank on trails, he eats his ice cream then snitches some of mine, lol, I throw him a smiling cheeky look. We greatly support each other in our ups and downs with total respect. We are best friends and tell each other that. Most of all, we are ourselves which makes being together .....easy!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I’m so happy for you my dear!

[@catboxcleaner3532]

Hello. These are great. Might I add that women might like this treatment extended to ourselves in a relationship, as well? Thank you.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Many thanks!

[@carlafast6358]

I have meet a guy on online dating site. He's great. We have been dating 8 months and I have met his sister's and brother. He's told me he loves me 4 or 5 times. It bothers me that he doesn't tell me all the time he loves me. I love him too. I never dated a nicer guy before. I'm very lucky to have him. He does a lot for me and I try to do a lot for him. I was abuse, lied too and cheated on by my late husband and this guy is nothing like that.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Yay! You deserve a great guy:)

[@idahughey3304]

With this virus mess going on now days. .There more online dating . How do we figure out if someone really in love with you. When you have never met each other in person.

[@alikarol3]

Well you'll want to meet one day eventually, right? The virus is never going away 100%, they never do. Might as well see them now.

[@linda.ll.7744]

Hi! "LOVING INTERRUPTION!" Amazing way to put it, as usual Mat!! Thank you for making things interesting, clear, and easy to achieve! Sometimes we just need simple instructions spelled out for us.... "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." 🥰

[@carmenestep-felix8187]

Everything about you Ii accept you for who you are...i promise to be faithful to you 100 %".What blows me away is that the times that we were together we talked ,laughed and we teased(foreplay)was great between us.The last time I was over we sat at the table and talked teased and sarcastically flirted our way into a for play that was fun.I know what I felt and I know you felt it also...we have chemistry.i want you to know that I find you to be the sexist man I've ever seen. I LOVE YOUR BODY! You make me feel so safe.i would be proud to walk in anywhere and say your my guy ...you sexy motherfuc*ker...heeheehe. I crave you all day long** I want you now....no more time wasted being apart ....lets do this

[@carmenestep-felix8187]

...i hurt deeply inside without you in my life we have so many things in common. It would be unfortunate if we never gave this a try...

[@narrymanpina7889]

Hello Mat. I enjoyed watching your videos so much. You are such a great communicator with an amazing energy! Thank you for supporting women and/with love. 😊

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

[@raquelt5342]

Omg thank you so much for saying the sleep schedule thing! I didn’t know if that was being too picky but it’s super important to me 👏👏

[@claudiaclaudia8599]

For me too.I mean I wake up at 5:00 am not 9:00am.

[@shirlyllemos1213]

Taking a big risk,.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You are so welcome!

[@NovafyT]

Sometimes when you are really in love you respect the differences too. If you only looking everything to match at sometime it will break because down the road there will be many that don't match. People change, grow and evolve. Look for a mature man

[@araceliscollazo5067]

Your impressions are hilarious 😂 this is good stuff, thank you!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Glad you enjoyed!

[@donnahale1011]

These are GREAT TIPS!!!! I am seeing that I do a lot of these, but I am still taking notes and will apply them...

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much my dear!

[@CharlotteKyle-b4z]

All of Mat’s advice of how to just happened to me. Spot on Mat!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks for sharing!

[@richardjames9918]

Soon to be exwife sent this to me. And I have to say he's pretty spot-on. My ex got only one out of eight things.

[@user-jk4jj4nm1q]

How did you two get to marriage?

[@TheAttractionTriggers]

*Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.*

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you for sharing!

[@meljstephan]

My last more significant relationship ended because he had kids and I always felt guilty taking up any of his free time that he could have spent with them and he always felt guilty cancelling plans because he had a sick kiddo at home or had a football game to go to. We hadn't been in a serious committed relationship to where I would have been comfortable meeting his kids, so in the end it just didn't work out to move forward. It wasn't a nasty end to the relationship at all, it was just incongruence in our lifestyles. I still very much respect him, in large part because he's a great dad, and hopefully he doesn't have hard feelings about me ending things. We haven't talked since but I hope he's just been able to focus in his kids or maybe find a girl who was more able to understand and handle single parenthood.

[@Professional_Nobody]

Melissa Stephan nice to hear you met a great guy though :) some dads don’t care at all and only see their kids for an hour a week.

[@worldpowerpeopleallracesma8582]

This is all very true! The problem with me is that I seem to be a woman with many lovers! They all keep coming and they warm up to me and we fall in love but I am the type of person that definitely brings conflict in people's lives naturally not purposely because I am a real power queen that makes people move just by my presence whether it's on a good way or bad way people react to me because of the power i have over them, they simply just cannot help but to love or to hate me! There drawn to me because of the power I have over them that God have to me! I attract good and bad people and people always challenge the guy that I am with, there is always the hater friend who wants to fuck me or be with me but if I say no to him and choose his friend again he will do everything in his power to make me look bad and make my life a living hell in the eyes of my lover just because I turned him down! I just have alot of enemies and very few friends so any guy iam with has to understand that before he even dares to get involved with me! when I was with my ex boyfriend, he and I were homeless and I was working as a dancer in vegas just to earn money to get by, I always asked God to give me a man that was in the same situation that I was in so I don't have to try to change to impress him so I can be myself, and when I was being self out there dancing in langire for money and sometimes prostituting just to get by, he excepted me for who I. Even if he could have been using me I fell in love with his physical appearance then fell in love with his spiritual just for being where I was and "loving" me or pretending to love me even if I was giving my body away and selling myself to other guys. Any ways I didn't understand why he was on the street because he looked like a model he was extremely physically attractive he was a white guy with these gorgeous eyes, and he appeared so clean you couldn't tell he was homeless I didn't understand it but I excepted him, I wanted to see his feet how beat up they were I thought they were beautiful I thought he being down and out was beautiful because I could take care of him and take the pressure off of him and also I could express myinner masculinity I didn't expect anything from him in return and that's why I felt like he was the one but he is probably not even the one just a guy that God wanted me to take care of at the time, I have ce to the conclusion that I am just an Angel that God is using to take care of people and bless them, I have ce to except that, any ways I pretended we were together and i made him feel like he was a man even if he wasn't the bread winner at the time, he was battling with addiction and just a bunch of mess he was a mess I was a mess but I was sobar and that was the difference because I wasn't a drug addict I could actually save money and use our money for the right things any ways long story short he fell madly in love with me he told me he was in love with me we had to separate because twin flames go through this stage, relationships really don't work well when two people are both homeless and mentally challenged, because you have to first take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, you have to master your self before you can master anyone else that is why we separated he left me because I slept with another guy and made him feel like I didn't love him when the case was that his friend tricked me and I thought that if I had sex with his friend I would pay the debt he might have owed him and his friend said he said that it was ok, his friend first tricked me into being alone with him making me think I was going to go to his car with him to get something out of the car with him, I could have ran i could have said no but when he said my "twin flames" I figured I was paying his debt I didn't want anyone to hurt him because of what he owed the or whatever! Ugh what a messss!!! To care for someone

[@Mat_Shaffer]

It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new

[@HeatherDMorris]

As long as the man is not a narcissist! Competing is a game you cannot win

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@davidmclarney4542]

Just being honest with my ezprwssomg all my feelings I'm very happy with my relationship. His wife forever I've never felt this way about any one he supports me we.r.equals always I love u Jon

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@TheOrignalTRockz]

Sorry! That DOES work. Women don’t have to give men all they feel they need (want). In fact, men fall in love with women who simply don’t give a damn.

[@mannimafi1222]

+:2:3:4:9:0:5:5:5:7:4:9:4:4 whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks for sharing!

[@hoiliswu6070]

Thanks for sharing powerful love Men who value my heart 💖💖💖

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much my dear!

[@donnahale1011]

That was funny...gluten free pasta...lol

[@keshakellogg5995]

I squealed at that! 🤣🤣

[@moonchild66]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@LynseyTate]

@@moonchild66 0

[@christinesoto3283]

Making sure he feels comfortable and safe 🌈💖

[@Jackgritty28]

Let's reverse that role⚛️

[@christinesoto3283]

@@Jackgritty28 🌝

[@allisond5669]

@@Jackgritty28 safe to open up is what he means. Not physically.

[@mingsmakeup3854]

I low the structure of each of ur videos. Highest quality I've seen so far and I've seen a lot, keep it up and thank you very much for the great service! 😊

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Glad you like them!

[@jenniferguadilla]

You make me laugh when you are changing you're voice..and I loved watching you when giving advice thank you and God bless you and your family 😊

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart!

[@ioannak.4690]

P O S I T I V E S T A T E M E N T S: • I feel so safe and cared for when you hold the door for me • I love how you make me laugh • It feels so good when you hold me in your arms like that Don't forget to: Smile to communicate non-verbally that you're happy with him that he's done something that made you happy. (Great eye contact works too)

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Great tips! ️

[@ioannak.4690]

@@Mat_Shaffer Thank you 😊

[@MarilynEVANGELISTA-u9r]

What a beautiful relationship where both enjoy being themselves. That's beautiful. Congratulations.❤😊

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you

[@konfettibaby9676]

I really like the quality of your videos btw! I feel that they have improved so much and now they are one of the best dating videos out there! Best wishes from Germany :)

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much Konfetti, Baby!! 🙏❤️

[@msbronzegoddess3166]

@@Mat_Shaffer You're so smart and handsome😍.Thanks for the great advice. I have a man in love with me in less than a week.😂I'm 39 and he's 31 I thought he was too young, but he paid my bills w/o touching me, first time ever. He wants me to visit his farm in Antigua and I'm from Mass. He told me i'm not single anymore and he wants to take care of me lol. I'm watching your videos for my new man. Thanks so much.👑💕💕💕 I also never ask for money, so he just says here's 300 for your hair, my girl gotta stay stay looking good"❤. Keeper right?

[@renitaewbank9121]

I do like the tip of you know how to make me smile too! When I haven’t heard even a text out of him? I guess I need validation too? I don’t attack him, but I think something is up when I don’t hear from him? When I like/care about a man, I want to be with him, spend time, call or text? I’m 65 and I don’t call him. I’m widowed and I don’t like to be alone? Advice? This video is really helpful! Thanks! You

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

[@leighmetzler7565]

My OK Cupid profile has “the thing I could probably beat you at...”. Go karting. One of the most interesting guys responded that he wishes me luck beating him in a go kart. We both want to move to Hilton Head. We love sailing, scuba, motorcycles... We share a vision. He wants a life partner.

[@nursewhitman1]

How is it going now?

[@Mat_Shaffer]

AMAZING love that share!!:)

[@estefaniac21]

I realized the more I’m thriving to be a better woman and self growth it attracts my man, and he wants to be with a woman whose confident and a go getter in any aspect in my life. And accepting myself, will help me act him. Which helps a man fall in love I feel. Bc there’s no nagging, pressuring, but instead there’s acknowledgment and gratitude.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much for your feedback! Interesting perspective, thanks so much!

[@jesdev3924]

He has all these 8 points with me. I have noticed, yet he told me that he only attracted to my boobs 😒😒☹ i love him n his playing with make believe happy future with me.... i just don't know what he wants now. 😥...

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks for sharing your experiences

[@MarilynEVANGELISTA-u9r]

How beautiful it is to be in a relationship where both can be their authentic selves. Enjoy the simple things in life, a walk, eating ice cream, telling jokes... I still dream about it. ..❤

[@Mat_Shaffer]

AMAZING love that share!!:)

[@thash5]

I have been married for 15yrs. My partner & I are never on the same page. Always want different things, Its very challenging all the time. Thank u for your videos, great info.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@MoonFoxASMR]

Why do I feel like Mat was disbarred for doing molly in the courtroom and booping the judge on the nose. 🤔

[@Mat_Shaffer]

This might be one of my favorite comments of all time 😂 I almost wish that was how it went down lol... but the truth of is that after three years practicing law ( 1.5 in the broken criminal justice system as a public defender) and a couple years in the private sector working for corrupt senior attorneys who were criminally explosive to their clients, emotionally and verbally abusive to their staff and generally just terribly unhappy in general... I saw what my life would look like 10-20 years down the road if I stayed in such a toxic field that wasn’t in alignment with my fundamental energy and decided... yeah I’m gonna walk away from this and figure out another way to pursue helping others in a deep and meaningful way. I didn’t have a plan or a vision of what that might look like at the time, but I just decided to start by moving away from what didn’t make me happy and begin my search for something else that did. And eventually... that led me here 🤗❤️

[@lisacurtis8162]

@@Mat_Shaffer I'm glad you got away from that. I like what you are doing now. I don't get to see an emotionally healthy male perspective anywhere else. You have a perspective on relationships, an intelligence that I need to see. I'm already married, I'm 52. I'm starting to see ways to give love to my husband and our relationship has been rocky.

[@lisacurtis8162]

Any way that you could practice law on your own??

[@r.lynnsteinberg2775]

For me, it wasn't magic. We just laugh together and ferl comfortable with each other and know that we each want to support each other. We love each other. We've been through hard timrs, but support each other.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You’re fabulous! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and spreading the love. 💖

[@lc4972]

I was with this guy for 13 years off and on. Everything went well as long as everything was good. But when things got complicated or weren't going well, he would tuck tail and run. You mentioned that if it's not fun the guy might not want to stay. I broke up with him because of this. Because I need someone who's going to be loyal and committed through thick and thin. I needed to know that I had someone in my corner when things got rough. I needed to know that if we had relationship problems that the man is going to stay and work things out . Are you saying that's not possible for a man to do?

[@Mayfloweralways]

I don’t think he’s saying that. I think what he’s saying are the things that are the foundation of the relationship. If most of the time a relationship is unhappy and stressed, there is something not healthy about that relationship

[@kingCy1]

I just have to say you are awesome and I appreciate your enthusiasm when delivering your content! Thank you!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart!

[@leahjanulgue7200]

Omg number 8. Me and my crush doing it

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Happy for you!

[@Potofgold123]

I agree. Should be natural

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Happy to hear that!

[@lanettabard8446]

Hi Mat just came across your video I’m in a second marriage what makes our marriage so special is that he is so loving and always there for me in the past year have been a lot with the death of a brother he is former Military he tells each and everyday how much that he loves me before in my first marriage I felt so unloved and unwanted.When something important comes up we can sit down as husband and wife and discuss before I couldn’t do this with my first husband.We never go to bed angry or mad at each other Thank you for your advice We are both in our 60’s and we hold hands in public never did that before.

[@mannimafi1222]

+:2:3:4:9:0:5:5:5:7:4:9:4:4 whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much dear! :) and thanks for sharing! ♥ :)

[@pavlovsdog]

you are great Mat!!! from Rome Italy

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Hey, thanks!

[@fatimaakel5052]

Hi Matt, just came across your video, omg I loved them. I've been married for 11 years, unfortunately my husband passed away 15 months ago. It was and still is hard, but I met a guy, we exchanged phone numbers and been texting here and there. He asked me if I wanted to come and spend some time with him, and go places. I was reluctant but I accepted, he never said he liked me or when I try to get him to say something he doesn't. I really dunno what to think. I haven't date in so long, I dunno if he's just shy or he just want us to be friends.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You got this Hon!🙂

[@maragirl1658]

Thank you Mat! This explains so much. Wish I knew these things before. It would have saved me a lot of confusion and heartache. I’m in a great relationship now but a couple of years back I met someone with whom I shared strong attraction and connection but we never got off the ground. Now it makes complete sense!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. ❤️👏🏻

[@Mat_Shaffer]

wonderful glad it served you!

[@LemansSunset350]

You’re amazing 🥰

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

[@annewayman4862]

So Matt, why would a man choose a woman who violates most if not all of these reasons... what's that signal? Thanks.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

a partner who violates boundaries could signal issues like unawareness, seeking validation, or deeper personal problems.

[@galemeyer8431]

I need your help because I am scared to start dating. It will be 9 years April1st of this year.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks for sharing!

[@newbeginnings1543]

Mat this is absolutely incredible information! Thank you.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You are so welcome!

[@noreensix283]

Mat, I have been using your advice with my man and it has been a complete turn around. Thank you

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Amazing my dear so so happy for you!

[@lobsterloves]

Funny I feel the same way and I'm a woman BUT I'd put how he handles conflicts as my top 3 though... If he doesn't handle conflicts with me in a mature way, we're never gonna get anywhere in a life partnership.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@pandoramagic6070]

My man loves me because he can completely be himself and doesn't have to change to fit my ideology. I never ask him questions when he wants to spend his time with his friends and family. And he can completely choose what he wants to do with his time. He also loves it that I'm playful around him, and not serious most of the times. And he loves it that I'm independent and all my happiness is not dependent on him.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I’m so happy for you my dear!

[@dawnnicholson5962]

Thanks again

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Always welcome 🤗

[@rosbillie3215]

Hi Matt you explain everything so well. I have really learnt a lot . I understand much more the fact that to be vulnerable but also positive is a huge step thank you

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Wonderful!

[@karinzdailyhustle8194]

Thanks Matt! This is by far the best ever explanation and description of how men fall in love with women I've heard. So spot on and true. Keep them coming!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart!

[@vhayashi7369]

Gotta love how we're supposed to baby and comfort them in their hard times but they don't really for us. Oh that's right, we're not supposed to need anything from them... Just give everything... 💩💩💩🤷 And I keep getting blind sighted by narcs, and the ones that aren't, don't want a relationship.

[@violetapril4030]

You said it, sister! ✋

[@tessiesantiago2858]

vhayashi He is talking about being a decent human being, How do you treat your friends and loved ones.? Your loved ones should feel comfortable around you, appreciated etc. All of these things can be done for your friends and family That are dear to your heart . I don’t think the stuff he saying is setting you up for heartbreak I think it’s setting you up to have a nice relationship with anyone That you value and appreciate

[@ReneelovesGod]

That’s true.. it seems as though we as women have a lot of work to do to help men. In my opinion that’s why we are created to be a help meet, but it’s so exhausting sometimes.. the break comes when we show ourselves self love and know purpose of relationships. Keep our identity. And cultivate balance and boundaries.

[@dianagentile7636]

Hi Mat my thoughts are....NEVER GO 2 BED MAD OR UPSET‼️‼️ TALK ALL ISSUES OUT‼️‼️ THEN MAKE UP SEX US THE BEST PART‼️🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️ 🤗🤗🤗 TAKE CARE & HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND ‼️ 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️ STAY BLESSED ALWAYS ‼️❤️

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Interesting perspective, thanks so much!

[@dianagentile7636]

@@Mat_Shaffer SMILES 😁💞🤗💋Embrace ❤️ LOVE ❤️ 💕❤️

[@b.g.v.96]

Amazing and meaningful tips, thank you✨️🙌🏻

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You're so welcome! 🤗

[@ilikestampy5919]

Mat, you put your heart and soul into this video. Great stuff. Thanks!

[@analypozo]

Ive lost hope and accepted being single 😕 I always choose emotionally unavailable men

[@estefaniac21]

Maybe you should take the time to be intact with your emotions. Be at a point in your life we’re you have hope, stability, self love, and you’ll see you’ll attract the right men bc you won’t accept mediocre love.

[@IYoungHuang]

@@estefaniac21 Yes, thats right, I agree with you.

[@estefaniac21]

Pay attention to patterns, not potential.

[@robinhayes4894]

This is all fine an dandy I did these things. An didbt even realize I was doing them it came so easy an natural. An didbt gain the person in he the end. So for some of us there is no hope. Regardless of what we do

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much for your feedback!

[@jaceem4175]

Good advice! GREATS TIPS on how to figure out mens lo. Not in relatioship right now but very helpful if i can find that right gentlemen in the longrun. Not looking for commitment after so many wrong choices. Just like enjoying my freedom right now. Taking things slow and loving myself by stepping back and waiting. No sexs unless the lord is ready for me to marry. Sex ruin my life because i got with some real losers who was players and cheaters who did not care for me. My heart is now trying to heal so i will just stay single and have fun doing things i like to better myself.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I’m so glad this helped you!

[@ngaihlian618]

WOW I AM WAITING and think that when i will get a new video from Matt thank you. ❤❤❤

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Hope you enjoyed it!

[@Wendy-mh9dx]

The more i look at all these youtube vids makes me think its too much work. Im tired lol do ypu have to be doing hobbies and stuff all the time?

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@galemeyer8431]

He died April 1st 2013. I been home all this time. Not dating anyone else but him.but he is gone he died April 1st and my heart is broken 💔 😢

[@Mat_Shaffer]

It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new

[@galemeyer8431]

@@Mat_Shaffer thank you.

[@galemeyer8431]

But it is to hard to start all over again. I am not going too.

[@christinaheart2238]

We met in a very unlikely setting and I feel like we're still healing and traumatized by our past, but we're both opening up and being vulnerable from day 1... goofing around like old friends and talking about our future hopes and dreams already. If you were in my shoes, would you press on with the intent to move forward together? I'm having a hard time seeing the signs because I'm not fully open, yet, withholding nothing G the same time.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

[@thecatisoutofthebag83]

Really love your videos. They are inspiring and genuine. 💕🙏🏻🌺

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much!

[@jacalynclemons351]

Always be yourself! Be open and honest always. Be supportive goes both ways. I do believe when you say a man has to be emotionally ready in his life to be truly in love with someone. Acceptance in family and friends

[@jacalynclemons351]

Important, but this is a stumbling block in a true relationship and the way it grows.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

This is an inspiring story!

[@galemeyer8431]

Yes I am open but scared.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Don’t give up on love sister!

[@nadaudsmith9571]

Well spoken! Your energy is motivational! #GreatStuff💜

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much!

[@OctavioZero]

I am here to know how i fall in love so i can never do it again, i hope it works, whis me luck boys...

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Amazing! love hearing that!