Stop Being The GOOD GIRL & Become Inconvenient! - NO BS Approach To Make Him Chase | Matthew Hussey

[@LisaBilyeu]

What do you think it takes to find & keep love?

[@Meiiiow]

Hard Work and not take things for granted.. learn to communicate with each other and go to couple therapy for 2 years before getting kids, marrige and moving in together. Make sure the person you invest in has same life goals and tackle hard questions and face oneself shadow self so you go in with eyes Open

[@anindomercy1238]

you can only find and keep love when we love ourselves more and know our worth .you can't pour love from an empty cup .we have to work on ourselves not the appearance only but also our mental health. learn how to communicate and know when it's time to walk away .self awareness.

[@thearodriguez8073]

Don't listen to male dating coaches on #youtube too often or waste time answering questions asked by #contentcreators on KZbin channels!

[@thearodriguez8073]

@@anindomercy1238 Your already a higher consciousness above this inane assumptive 'guidance' these is not expert advice, you have greater insght

[@aidene5513]

@@thearodriguez8073 you sound like a narc trying too lure someone in😂😅😂

[@katherinechase3674]

Finding a good person, getting involved, and finding out they aren't quite right for you is disheartening. And then doing this several times over is like tearing your arm off, time and time again-

[@tiabyrd-y5n]

how many times have you been hurt? and why continue to go through the same patterns. I dont know any female that has had her heart broken several times within a year. The men that arent good for you always show kindness but also cheats or hidding something from you. you wont feel disheartening if the man is investing in you. If a man is investing in you and giving you his time why would he even waste his time or yours to begin with? Women should stop gambling their love and emotions into something that hasent lasted longer than a year.

[@JandK1111]

Alot! Just discover i was played after being single n working on my self for a year. Then i took a chance and guess what? Dude lied alot. Cheated. And was very toxic and manipulative ​@tiabyrd-y5n

[@CJ-ft9yo]

@@tiabyrd-y5nbut how would you know ?

[@randiwin6034]

You will be able to handle it no matter what happens. This is what we need to believe

[@redonionsyummy]

Truth is the light.. Your soul demands that you face the facts ..it sucks when someone isn't authentic and honest with you..only to be discovered..but deal with it in any case and learn :)

[@ojala5555]

Walking away from someone is easy when you know they have cheated on you. - That's not something to worry about. It's much harder to get over the pain and damage it causes you. The thing we worry about when we trust someone and get betrayed is whether I will ever be able to fall in love with someone again or what if the rest of my life isn't enough to heal my heart after this. I lost too many years of my life after my breakup because I wasn't able to fall for even great guys who really liked me or even loved me. That's why we worry about trusting someone, not whether I can trust myself to walk away. - Physically I'll be okay, emotionally I can become damaged. The difference in perspective comes from the different depth of feelings between men and women.

[@tiabyrd-y5n]

well stop falling into love. stop showing him your giving all your love too. you should love yourself more than the man. if you dont you'll lose yourself. also let the man show love to you, but just be submissive to him. stop falling for men that are easily replaced

[@ojala5555]

@@tiabyrd-y5n I have always loved myself, never lost myself and never been in love with someone who is easily replaced. Men have showed me love with their actions and yet acted contrary to love. They've also reproached me for not giving all my love to them. Someone said, " I can really feel your love physically, in bed.." The expression "falling in love" is just a pun in English. There is another word in my Mother language for that. I'm too reasonable to "fall into love". So💁‍♀️, nice try, but not very usable.

[@ojala5555]

​@@tiabyrd-y5n I have always loved myself, never lost myself and never loved someone who is easily replaced. Men have shown me their love through actions and yet acted contrary to love. They have also reproached me for not giving all my love to them. Someone said, " I can really feel your love physically, in bed.." The expression" falling in love" is just a pun in English. There is another word for that in my Mother language. I'm definitely too reasonable to "fall into love". So, nice try, but not very usable.

[@TiffanyHallmark]

I am discovering that by loving myself, I can allow someone to love me. By being authentic to myself, I get the opportunity to share that with someone. After two troubling relationships, I'm trying to like me first. Thank you for this video

[@va9347]

how can one love on self?

[@TiffanyHallmark]

@@va9347 by treating yourself like you want to be treated. Do you want to be taken to a nice dinner? Take yourself on a date. Want to be told you're beautiful? Look in the mirror and tell yourself. Look at yourself like a lover and best friend.

[@jamiemorrison6628]

Staying authentic is self love

[@IlseSchouten]

​@@va9347 nice spoken ifeel your doubt, but you can do it, take a change

[@IlseSchouten]

​@@jamiemorrison6628how difficult, but i want to believe we will do well

[@NamelessAnon]

True strength is not walling up or worrying so that you try to make yourself invulnerable...it's being able to be vulnerable to someone, but knowing you'll be alright if you get hurt.

[@chill_out_00]

Amen sister 👏

[@redonionsyummy]

It's really hard to practice though..but keep trying..don't get into a long distance marriage..what a mess..never again

[@Misbehave11]

I’ve realized it’s really easy for someone to say they’ll leave when the cheating or hitting happens to them but I think it’s a lot more difficult than anyone thinks it is

[@sonyareyes1000]

Yes

[@redonionsyummy]

Trauma Bonding is a real issue..not healthy

[@tiabyrd-y5n]

just imagine that man is you in male form. why would you let yourself abuse you and hurt you? you might as well just punch yourself.

[@annabanzon313]

Open mind and surrounding yourself with healthy people.

[@BloomingRecklessly]

I disagree with not monitoring. There are any times when investigating social media patterns etc. revealed the lies I had been told. Trust but verify until the pattern shows they tell the truth, then pull back and just trust. Even recently I would have never known I was being lied to if I had not been looking into their social media connections.

[@maxonout]

The ABCs of having a brain and a pair of eyes and a gut. I agree 100% with you.

[@aneldewaal871]

The big big thing that is missed by so many many people, is that a partner is seen as jealous when another person gets involved. But wrongly. Because the partner is protecting their safety. Especially when it comes to sti's or hiv

[@theresas.3808]

I gave up dating for 20 years. I reconnected with a man from the past and I’m back to the point that made me stop getting involved. I was never enough and too insecure as a result of it.

[@theresas.3808]

I admit my insecurities contributed to ruining our reconnection.

[@Lisa-vk1ey]

Sadly, I gave up. I was hurt too many times. After this last, it’s over. I wish there was more places to go alone. Advice for being alone and not lonely in today’s world.

[@missfeminineenergy]

Hi just noticed your msg, I am newly single and really tried the relationship thing but I just carnt seem to accept the toxic traits we endure from the spouse...as it’s a reflection, I guess, of my toxic traits I don’t like of myself...nobody is perfect mind you, so either way I feel like it’s a settling game...feel like I’m meant to be alone but loneliness is a bish so I think I’m with you on this one. God bless you x

[@lisaariottiart]

Hi! Move to a place where the sun shines and you can be safe, active and sexy and you won't feel alone or lonely. I sold everything and left NYC for Miami Beach--- everyday is new, the ocean heals you and you pretty much have to beat the men off with a stick-- lolo When men try to date me-- I come from a place of pure intention and many of them turn to dust before my eyes. Men have lots of options here from a hedonistic life and I show up as a sexy, intentional, active, intellectual ... If they don't align I keep it moving and go easily back to my long skates and sunset walks in peace. When a Man wants you and he is in the right place for love he will communicate with you relentlessly. I give no one second chances because they show up when they grow up. ❤🎉

[@KiKi-te9yd]

Surround yourself with good friends instead. They're far more likely to stay and be accepting of your faults as well as your gifts x

[@iraschellenberg-kollenstei2247]

Just pray and say "Lord, if it's meant to be, send him to me." And then relax.

[@redonionsyummy]

​@@iraschellenberg-kollenstei2247try a new hobby and focus on that. Bring cookies to a neighbor..do a random act of kindness each week.. keep your heart open..go to church.. it's ok to feel a bit down at times..have your cry on your morning walks..then be grateful and be a light to others

[@effortlesssuccess2585]

Relationship will only be different if you’ve changed.

[@gratefulandblessed7194]

This is So Powerful. And much of what he's saying,, is what life and God has been showing me the past few years. It's pretty amazing. The difference for me is that I'm not only my own strength, but God's word and his comfort in all of the process

[@mlisasweeney4308]

i married someone I barely knew. i did lnow this before I said I do. He said be patient with him dont push. We are in midlife and i never thought I would feel this passion again

[@mlisasweeney4308]

so it was a year Sept. it was love at first site for me. But I got to see him falling im love with me and i was crazy and thought this is great he wants to have a deeper , intimate, sexual intimacy. back to patience, I started to get resentful after ten months. Help me get him to explore o. s. on me? it has turned into a wedge between us. Now he is adiment that will not ever hsppen. help advice please it has chamge the whole dynamic of our relationship.

[@tracycash6032]

Thank you, Matthew! Curiosity. What a gift that I forget to use. My experiences have tended to jade me. I keep a small hope that I can find a loving relationship with another man. You are helping to keep that flame alive with your valuable input on how my life can be with a loving, forgiving and contributing partner.

[@artandculture5262]

All experience and all humans have a viewpoint. Life is an art, and all art has a viewpoint. It’s what we do with ourselves to be open, and that’s the potential of curiosity.

[@mariespi96]

My late husband and I did fight. When it wasn’t getting anywhere, I left. Took a long ride while we both calmed down. Eventually, I came back and worked things out. So, I think it’s ok to go through the fight,flight stages as long as you get to the working things out stage.

[@vincentiussubarjo1703]

Giving doesn't equal pain. Be brave, Gurl!

[@Nw21]

I really really love that this show inviting Matthew and talked on this topic. My time is well spent. I’m going through some shit right now. And this vdo helps me to feel more secure and help me think more straight. Just thank you. This vdo helps a lot. They speak and share their thoughts beautifully. Very talented and valuable persons. We are lucky to access this type of resources.

[@redonionsyummy]

Yes, great wisdom..Matt is able to articulate so well

[@TereshaYoung]

One of my own playful responses to someone you've not heard from for a while and they then contact you: "Hey, where have you been hiding? Thought you'd given up on wanting to get to know me better 😉" Their reply can be very insightful 🌷

[@apoorvareddyneelapu5845]

Matt Hussey is a genius. So beautifully articulated interview 💫

[@BQ900]

The two of you were so cute and innocent in this video. Most of my friends are burned out & tired of men’s games. They get annoyed when I meet someone. “Oh he just wants you cause he can’t have you”! I’ll get to it eventually.🤣

[@CharitySills]

But what gal doesn’t love to be dazzled ? As a chronic chooser of dazzlers, this is mind blowing . “ a partner is someone we have to live with not be dazzled by. “

[@emebetabduk9508]

I love this guy,he is wise.

[@eddabirchall5530]

You’re so right! You have to learn! Learn to trust your intuition. This you reach by Meditation, by protecting your inner voice in peace and quiet. Trust is precious, but knowledge is better😅

[@lisaoconnell9257]

First 40 mins …wow… makes me realise all I have missed as I’ve dealt internalising betrayal & holding onto major trust issues - is time for more curious soft softness & a risk it for the ultimate🥰💃🕺🏻🥰

[@JesusLightsYourPath]

Wow. The first 4 minutes are golden. I can use this knowledge for every aspect of my life. Stop worrying about what might happen and instead, trust that you can get yourself through it. You've already gotten yourself this far.

[@stellabandante2727]

Matthew, I've watched several of your videos as I navigate through a break up. I love your sincerity and intelligence. Your insights and presentation have been informative and reassuring.

[@akankshasingh6471]

The first 10 minutes were really what I needed to listen to, right now. This is the root cause of all my problems. Not to say the other people have been great, but I haven’t been able to walk away and handle myself.

[@artandculture5262]

Daniel Siegel Parenting from the Inside Out speaks to when the brain goes into childhood patterns imprinted in the brain, from parenting styles, in particular when one shuts down and loses to fight or flight.

[@mauistarz8302]

the gap smh damn man he made me feel like I'm crazy. I had to leave. I know for sure I get toxic when I'm treated badly. it never ends well

[@csstudio3648]

Thanks!

[@stellahardy1991]

I was on the dating scene for so long, almost gave up due to so many red flags...But I finally met my Mr Right🥰

[@jadegreen1554]

Lisa’s husband is a rare kind of male. He is very AWARE and using a lot of healthy language. To “normal” men the words like “disrespect” and “consideration” etc start to sound like nonsense and get mocked very quickly.

[@MiNAHull]

He really is. I can't remember his exact words anymore but something along the lines of they made the choice to make it work, no matter what & they've actually stuck to it... People are so quick to give up on a relationship that might be bettered or even "perfected" by a little honest communication & consideration because of the illusion of so many other choices(fish in the sea).

[@lnzprazak2711]

Man,that it dosent have to be good or bad part. I'm gonna use that

[@BloomingRecklessly]

The thing is I have probably been on 6 dates in 44 years of life. But I’ve had 4 really painful relationships. I struggle to see the positives in trying to continue this process as the pain as a result of these experiences has been derailing for years, pulling me away from things that make me happy and my life purpose. I do think there is value in learning how to spot red flags and do this process more intelligently. But I do not think I will even consider dating again till I feel I am different and no longer so foolishly empathetic in dealing with toxic selfish or unhealed people. I’m just not sure when I’ll know that I can vet properly and won’t lead with my heart into another very terrible connection.

[@lovabovall]

Of all the talks I've listened to, this one hit home the most. I needed this so much. Thank you.

[@Notmyrealname099]

The issue with this “curiosity” about their behavior and not jumping into conclusions, that some people are happy to lie in these conversations and pretend being vulnerable and think can last months if not years. While we are missing an opportunity to be with someone honest and invested into relationship.

[@BobF510]

I'm moved by the genuine depth and authenticity of this content. A book with parallel ideas had a transformative effect on my perspective. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@landscapearchie6558]

This brings so much peace to clarity.

[@Steff579]

This was gold thank you! Matt's words of wisdom..I needed to hear this today

[@leo-ish6103]

I like that quotes are captured in the description box.

[@aerochicc]

Matt is such a treasure. He always has such great advice.

[@ebony2413]

A gem indeed! Invaluable information 🙌🏾

[@aky8164]

Many thanks, Matthew, for this. You save ojr nerves, time, happines and our life. Belss you ❤️❤️❤️🤗

[@redonionsyummy]

"Attention vs Intention" .. it's similar to short term gratification vs commitment... Matt and Jordan Peterson would be a great interview together! Love these guys❤

[@sendaisweetie5297]

This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you.

[@csstudio3648]

Great conversation! Had a couple of ah ha moments. Thank you! ❤️

[@RiverPaisley]

Holy. Lisa, I’m sorry, you deserve so much better 😢😳

[@Ashleycookies106]

I liked the bad boy while I was pushing the good one away. I was foolish and that's why I realized when the bad boy lied to me that I chose to give my time to the wrong guy. Meanwhile the good one still liked me though I was trying to dismiss him and that's when I realized he was the one who matched me more and was awesome and smart and amazing. Overall positive and 100% normal with me like I'm taking 0 red flags. So I blocked the bad guy and now I'm giving full me and attention to the good one. I felt bad about how I treated the good one before but I'm glad I realized before he got away. So here's to hopefully a good chance with the good one! 😁 😊

[@aaroncecil5381]

i have always watched your videos for help, i have been in a very rocky marriage and all i tried to make sure the marriage worked, never worked tried everything but to no avail, we got seperated last year,sadly i still love her and i dont know what to do.

[@anthonyszymon3032]

same here, i have been in such a situation and i love my wife and unfortunately we divorced about two years ago but i couldnt just let anything make us get seperated so i had to do all i could to get her back, now we have been back together for over a year now,and i must say i am enjoying every moment of it, i couldnt let the love of my life go.

[@aaroncecil5381]

@@anthonyszymon3032 Wow, i would love to get my ex back, please can you tell me how yours worked out?

[@anthonyszymon3032]

@@aaroncecil5381 well i couldnt let her go and a friend of mine introduced me to a spiritual adviser who helped me out by bringing her back, she is a caster and i can say she is very good at what she does,i am a living testimony.

[@aaroncecil5381]

@@anthonyszymon3032 oh well i havent really given that a try, how would i go about it?

[@anthonyszymon3032]

@@aaroncecil5381 she is really good at what she do, her name is MIRIAM CHAMANI DIETRICH.

[@preetsrivastava7970]

excellent knowledge 🙏🏽great episode..

[@authenticityisrare7144]

Obsessed with this session! ❤️🙏🏽❤️

[@zion4336]

26:00- 27:00 is everything!

[@zhennilin5794]

Matt is something else ❤

[@nivlakhera9]

Being in love is harder than following any logic - this sounds all beautiful but ultimately it’s oxytocin the attachment hormone created so nature can replicate us ❤when real feelings are involved it’s not easy to leave and move on- there is a difference between roommate and lover 💕I ended up writing beautiful poetry books after my heartbreak and took me years to get over and I don’t consider that tragic because to live in depth is beautiful- even if another person doesn’t have depth. So I want to tell those who find it hard to move on and have deep pain find something beautiful to do with your pain like volunteer, build physical and mental health, travel, meditate 🧘 and create a beautiful life 🥰that’s what I did - I created a beautiful life art philanthropy literature and connected with other people - pain gives you compassion embrace it - we are not robots we will be dead one day ❤ stay with your truth and beauty- also work on your self a lot think how you can be better 😊

[@LovePhoenix96]

I genuinely love you and Tom and I appreciate you gifting us with these videos but is there any way you can reduce the ads please. Its a shame that good videos get ruined with so many ads. It does make me want to click off even though I want to stay so badly 😔

[@agasulek3881]

This is soooo good 🙌🙌

[@Lori.D.]

But the one true thing, is that to some extent you are the same person, so if you get a rebounce of the same triggers over and over again, you might wanna look into that!

[@bridgetmenham6686]

Matt funny you say about asking a question and if its going so well then it shouldn't be a hard question I asked if he could go to a concert with me and he said no and I found out we weren't compatible after the question He said hes idea of having a relationship is just to go to the pub every Sunday ....He dumped me shortly after that .Hes now missing me and become a bit of a storker. He has lust for me just because we never got that far xx

[@ojala5555]

You are right about the compatibility and the reason why he is still stolking you now. But the most important aspect is that he didn't want to spend time with you at the concert, not that he doesn't care about concerts!

[@Felix4art192]

Ya, it's the chase, don't cave!

[@KiKi-te9yd]

Ah well, this was a lovely attempt at remotivating our darkness over dating, but honestly I CBF enough to get curious. Life is easier without bullshit lies and cheating and rejection from men.

[@TonganJedi]

Talk to a therapist. You have wounds.

[@vandan1842]

If I was too needy and anxious. But when her and I talked she felt she enjoyed talking with me and getting close. But pulled away. But she blamed me for wanting more then a friendship. But I changed. N I wanted to prove that to her. But her not talking to me. Could it be she was getting feelings back n had to stop it? If she truly just wanted friends n I could do that now. Wouldn't she allow me to prove that? If not there another reason why she not contact me?

[@camellia8625]

If she says she only wants a friendship; I’d take her at her word and not hope for more. If she wanted to be with you, she would be with you.

[@leslieiris7093]

@vandan 1842 I know it's been a while since you wrote this message . But are you single. I'm a single white female Please message me❤.. I like to talk and get to know people. And I'm really frisndly❤❤😊

[@Fifi_sound]

This is so important for me, i let feelings get away with me😝

[@christinamichellephotograp8728]

This is the cutest.

[@valentinestumpf2588]

So true… 🙏…. Thank you 💯🔥

[@Align45]

Excellent point on unconditional love!

[@valeriaburina]

When you spank, hit, scream etc at your child or being seen by your child, that already changes how they brain develop and gives them trauma in a sense that they learn that people can do physical harm to them and it can be justified by them being a 'bad child', 'bad person', 'stupid' etc. they learn to disrespect themselves, defend from the world all the time and they WILL wait for violence when they are not perfect. and in their eyes, they are never perfect

[@TheBeliever1204]

Better to stay single You can't walk away say if they are using you to death and you have a mortgage and they won't leave. You have to get the police involved to remove them.

[@legacy1407]

wat conquers a relationship

[@Tfolife528]

Is it always you, walking over to where they are? You are working your tail off, they burn you out, you’re exhausted. Just from a relationship! 🤔🧐👿

[@jimscott5193]

I think the point was is he putting in as much effort as you may be?🤔 In my relationship these days, I'd say definately not!

[@Olga-xx2ob]

What it is just advertising every 5 min?

[@beatricefrimpong4155]

That's exactly what I think of dating apps 🤦‍♀️

[@trendsetter8138]

Are you an INFJ? asking to Hussey.

[@Princess.Queen.Esther]

Boxing ring? By far the worst way to compare a relationship. Absolutely way off! Son, come on. In a relationship the understanding is that you are with the person, not the opponent. Could never compare.

[@ambbie2710]

Purrrr yehoo

[@SouthernCyberCivilian]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏trust your self🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@MsDeongi]

The husband’s a lil ruff around the collar 👀🤣

[@Carmen-D-Clinton]

❤❤❤ÇURRIOUSITY KILLED THÈ CATastròphy!❤❤❤

[@yarazard]

Kinda hard to create that space when raging pregnancy hormones are equal to the disrespect

[@gordana.official]

This won’t work With bpd or narcs. Run away..

[@yq2280]

Am I the only one sensing some intense between Lisa & Tom toward the end of this video ? About who is making the bed ??? Kind a cute tho .

[@NaNasBarrio]

I never seen listen in a damn interview, so damn quiet We will have to check out what you’re talking about Is this whole damn video feel like Matthews talking out of his ass and Lisa thinks it to and the way she is just talking how do you know he had so many issues with relationships and he’s selling courses he seems exhausted and over the age I feel and maybe leases like me because a lot of the time I don’t know where the hell conversation was going

[@NaNasBarrio]

I dunno ima be honest im a subscriber of matthew i watch his videos and this is my first time seeinh him on the other side him being interviewed i had no idea he had so many relationship issues i knew he got hurt but not in detail of what hes saying now im sorry he sems on the edge so how the hell is he giving dating advice and i aint never seen lisa so quiet 😅 the way he put it out there is hes evidence that’s the people putting out courses that really shouldn’t because they really haven’t figured out their system yet. Damn I really like Matthew two I’m sorry no I just have a opinion that his whole set up dating thing course is all full of shit and I feel like that’s what lisa felt too ll😂

[@camellia8625]

I disagree

[@Felix4art192]

I agree, he doesn't know what he's talking about

[@elenalee5348]

1:05

[@esaia5672]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@julianamendez7311]

Who gets annoyed for a good wife making their marital bed? 🙄 I really love Lisa but Tom, 🙄🤐

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@michellek6581]

👍🏻❤️‍🩹

[@msdemeanour]

Matthew wasn't able to keep love though? 🤷

[@adeleaili]

According to...? :)

[@miateacher123]

He's engaged!

[@adeleaili]

Exactly... And break ups don't mean people can't keep love. A lot of break ups happen despite the love and often that remains even if there are other painful feelings intertwined

[@ribidimi]

"keeping love" is not an achievement. so many people just stay in it because they are too comfortable or fear being alone.

[@zohra8_8]

He has one now.

[@napertandy3579]

Matthew isnt looking very well for some reason. He seems a bit stressed himself.

[@Felix4art192]

You dont have to be part of "a couple" to be whole. I choose to be single. Im not missing something fundamental. You as a person are not responsible to be in a partnership either, to make someone else happy? Your advice sounds juvenile and almost like your came to the podium without a speech or knowledge of the subject youre supposed to be talking about. Winging it when its messing with peoples lives is not cool.