5 "Nice Girl" Habits All Women MUST ELIMINATE NOW | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

[@matboggs]

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[@rezotydnic]

Nice Girl Habits. 1. You cancel plans with your friends to accommodate his last minute plans. 2. Letting him play insult you even though it secretly hurts your feelings. 3. Changing your personality to fit his moods. 4. Getting physical before you are comfortable. 5. Forgiving him without making an agreement for better behaviour. When something uncomfortable happens, you speak up.

[@lyndalabriola8287]

I was married to the nicest man I ever knew I thought. After awhile I was noticing behaviors that were not very good for our marriage. Right after that I discovered that he was a narcissist. He tried to destroy me and I almost lost myself in the process of trying to make the marriage work. I left him. Future faking and micro cheating are only 2 of the characteristics of a narcissist. I am back to writing my poetry and my art, music. I feel like a new person.!!! Ladies you cannot love a narcissist

[@Julieta998]

A mi me sucedio igual. Existe una sociedad actual que crea y no pone ningun limite a esta personalidad narcisista. Saludos de Argentina

[@cantoon350]

Amen to that, I am also a survivor of a very toxic narcissistic relationship. After you get through it you definitely come out a better person, but it almost destroys you first. I will never again get into a relationship like that.

[@nyxnightmare3542]

Please stop the ableism. While you cannot love an untreated narcissist, you can very easily love one who is treated. What you were married to was possibly one who was untreated, or suffered from a different mood or mental disorder (BPD, Bipolar, Manic Depression, just to name a few). If he never sought out therapy or even solo therapy when you discussed the issues, then HE is to blame, not his disorder. The majority of us with mental or mood disorders (I have both) seek therapy or solo therapy in order to have healthy and happy relationships.

[@Medietos]

Although those are not characteristics of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but can be of anyone lacking healthy balance, maturity, healed attachment wounds, is unaware. The word Narcissism has got inflated and used on people without it being appropriate. Any bad behaviours and human social/love-accidents are not "Narcissism" .We are all human beings and as such flawed and imperfect, and many mistakes made are unaware and can be talked about to be corrected. And we victms play a part too in our co-dependency or other lack of healthy boundaries. But maybe your situation was much worse than those 2 things you mentioned, and maybe he really had NPD. Was your problem only with him? I have had mine with many/most people, and not just in love.Have sought prof. help since forever but am still waiting for a right treatment like the ones on YT but IRL. Am too isolated to not have human help in real life, I think. - Nice that you do poetry and art! :-)

[@kateeuinton3517]

Me too. I’m loving regaining my creative side, my way, not serving someone else. 🥰

[@FlamingCockatiel]

1. Canceling plans with friends last minute to accept his invitation. It impedes relations with friends and teaches guy his plans are always more important. 2. Allowing play insults even if it hurts you deep down. Guy will respect you for stating boundaries. 3. Changing your personality to suit his mood, compromising your way of being. 4. Allowing yourself to get physical or sexual before you are comfortable. Men don't equate sex with emotional connection early in the relationship. Scare off wrong guy faster to attract the right guy, who will respect a desire to wait. 5. Forgiving him without an agreement for better behavior. Trust grows from making and keeping agreements. Say "thank you" in response to "I'm sorry" and make a new agreement.

[@oliviaSusan1230]

Thanks so much for posting this summary - I want to hear what Matt has to say, but I don't always have the time to listen. So again, thanks!

[@FlamingCockatiel]

@@oliviaSusan1230 Glad to be of assistance. You're welcome!

[@AZCWoods]

Thank you. I have recently said, after a guy said he planned on calling me later in the day after his errands, and then he actually called me later; I communicated at the end of the discussion, “By the way, thank you for calling tonight as you said you would earlier today. I really like that aspect of you...” He thought about it & you could hear his smile in his next sentence. He appreciated that I noticed his actions. Five weeks later and we are still communicating well.

[@shamrockgirl6595]

BOUNDARIES CREATE CLOSENESS

[@lucianaoliveira9441]

Man, I made all those mistakes when I got married! I was 25 then and very immature! My marriage lasted 22 years but it was a complete mess! I was such a frustrated and unhappy woman at that time! Now I've been waiting for the right guy to create a brand new beginning with him and I thank God for all your advices and support! God bless you, Matt!!! Thank you so much for sharing this precious content with us!!🎉❤

[@EmmanuelPerez-kp9ul]

So how did you handle the situation

[@MichaelBrown-gf4ow]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@ladevercomedy]

I really like setting my boundaries are using I statements, being playful, yet direct, and expressing my needs with clarity and kindness

[@ButYouWereAndYouDid]

This video was really, really helpful and I’ve watched hundreds of KZbin’s regarding unhealthy relationships over the past year. The way Matt communicates really resonates with helping me understand a concept that much clearer. I’m glad I found this channel.

[@laurenkris9384]

My college boyfriend made his "sex move," and I told him I wanted to wait. His response was, "Oh, I love you!" First time saying that to me too! He said where he was from the women were always sleeping with guys right away and he loved that I put my foot down and said no.

[@katemiller5990]

You know what I think is encouraging about that story of you and your girlfriend/now wife? That shows that we don’t have to find someone who is perfectly 100% aligned with us, just someone who is humble enough to work with us and accept our boundaries and vica versa. ❤

[@MichaelBrown-gf4ow]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@ragga7862]

Mat, I totally agree. This should evolve into a ‘father daughter talk’ type of book if you haven’t already done one. I will for sure show my kids this video, it is not only valuable when it comes to love but all kinds of relationships.

[@DanteVelasquez]

I'm surprised high energy did not work when you were in sales. Being enthusiastic is contagious and motivates people to get excited about things. All such great advice. Things people can easily get confused about 🙂

[@katekoger1794]

Ive learned the power of my stillness. When something happens that I don't feel good about, i really work to #1 calm down #2 slow down #3 look around. Removing myself from emotions, but instead asking myself calmly, what am i feeling, and how can i Lovingly find truth in this moment. Reacting to everything is just triggering for everyone. But unpacking feelings helps me to be my best, most kind, true self for myself and for my guy. Assuming he has good intentions while advocating my thoughts with compassion ❤

[@renoaczhary1232]

Love this❤

[@camuyana]

1 through 5 are definitely a No-No for me. I've been through one relationship (marriage) where I allowed, and this second time around I'm not going to bring my resentment or anger, but my boundaries will be coming into play next time around.

[@MichaelBrown-gf4ow]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@KT-oh2qz]

Best practices when maintaining my boundaries: journaling to find clarity regarding what I really want and need; repeating the mantra “boundaries are based on needs in order to help keep people IN relationship”; and, maintaining the awareness that I will have a more fulfilling relationship AND my partner will be happier if and when I’m fully alive and authentically ME. If I hold space for who I am, I also hold space for an opportunity for a fulfilling and healthy relationship.

[@aylex1974]

True, he will respect your boundaries and he will wait until you are ready

[@farah_di_ipoh1968]

Thank you for this advice. Now I learned 2 points: 1. Do over (your video from years back) 2. Thank you for saying that, let's do a new agreement.

[@RRthee1]

This is appreciated. Thank you for describing how losing oneself actually happens. It's all so true. This is also different from other videos on the same topic.

[@kikitaube-hansen]

Thank you for this one :). Hope a lot of woman hear that. It´s the right way for both sides.

[@nyxnightmare3542]

The changing personality one - I can't turn it off. I am a Pisces. While I don't fully believe in the zodiac magic, my sign very much does fit me as a person. Luckily I've figured out that it controls me more with people I don't trust versus people I do trust. When I was just starting to get to know my man, I did change my personality to fit him. But when I started trusting him, and now especially when I completely trust him, I still do try to match him, but also try to match myself. I go back and forth between mine and his energy, so that I don't feel like I lose out on myself, but also still feel I can give my full Pisces energy to him to show him I love him. I'm comfortable balancing both, because I definitely can't turn off the personality one lol

[@tristamarie7115]

Definitely resonate with number 3 as family members were/are critical and I would accommodate them through being quiet/shutting down/etc. I’m sure I’ve done the same with men and I think I even attract those type too, ‘never accept me for me’ type.

[@EmmanuelPerez-kp9ul]

Why do you think that way

[@MichaelBrown-gf4ow]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@soniasmelodiousland]

I too had a guy always insulting n making fun.. Felt very bad

[@Florida_gyrl]

I have too. He thought he was being cute but he really made himself look bad and I lost interest in him.

[@pricesunbury59]

My best practices is saying thank you and lets srart a new agreement.and thank you for the asvice. My man is great ❤❤🎉

[@naowright9308]

My sister in law was always telling us(girls around my age) how to act and how to be. After living with her so long began to change me. I have been getting back to myself lately and I don't think she likes it.

[@nobu5503]

Thanks, Mat! I needed to hear this.

[@soniasmelodiousland]

Hi Matt! 🎉🎉🎉 I agree with u

[@radicalrenae8347]

Gift ideas? Its almost a first year anniversary since I met the love of my life. He's very masculine, sweet and romantic. I need great gift ideas, please!

[@010101Be]

The men in my life love guns! ❤😁 Impressive, exciting, and possibly life-saving 🤷🏽‍♀️ A natural beard balm & grooming kit, with a soap you like the scent of, and a massage coupon, or a few, from you, maybe with some other creative ones you can think of that would excite him. Write down your feelings for him. His favorite bottle of Scotch, Wine, or whatever he likes. A playlist of songs that happily remind you of him. Put it all in a basket 🧺 Does he have hobbies or other interests?

[@amysilas2576]

Thanks for this Mat this is exactly what I needed!!

[@cosmicdragontarot]

Thank you Matt, your advice is so needed!! ❤

[@momoihaokip3715]

Thanks you,you are amazing coach

[@christyrobinson6827]

Thank you for this advice ❤

[@juliannecarr1005]

omg I remember when I was younger I did number 1 before. Thou now I'll never do that again

[@soniasmelodiousland]

Me too

[@coral9913]

Question: If I’m wanting to wait til marriage for any form of sex, do I tell the guy and if so how soon? I’m not a virgin, over 40, never married.

[@KatErina-ii6ru]

Be upfront after a few dates. You need to let him know you’re not an immoral woman. And sex is important to you in this regard. God bless ♥️✝️

[@Medietos]

@@KatErina-ii6ru: Is one necessarily an "immoral woman" if any sex before marriage ? in our day and age, it need not be so, life is hard with all the toxicity and stressors affecting us.There can be circumstances I'd say, And if one never meets a marriage material, is one to die a virin? one can take new vows to be chaste until marriage after getting christian faith after the fact." Go, and sin no more".

[@Medietos]

Good and important Q. In Sweden, people have the justified idea that without sex, how shall a couple know if they are compatible sexually? Both anatiómically and soulwise.But the finer perceptionsa nd feeling get lost with wanton self-use and practices. Even saying I want a marriage is hard where many people just live together. On the dating-site I am, most men don't even make a full profile. Do you date?

[@coral9913]

@@Medietos it is hard to say it, the culture is shying away saving one’s self these days. I do date but so far all the guys I’ve told say they’re not willing or wanting to wait. There’s some guy willing to wait for me, just gotta find him. 😊

[@dianaevans6725]

I’d try him out before marrying him!! Nothing worse than being stuck with a bad selfish lover!!

[@shamrockgirl6595]

Great 👍 video 🎥 as always .

[@Florida_gyrl]

I was talking to my male coworker about how men do not view sex the same way women do and men do not get an emotional connection through sex. Yes for men when they are ready for commitment and they are only interested in one woman they get an emotional connection but for men that just run around and sleep with everyone they are not having emotional connections. My coworker did not agree with me and he’s entitled to what he thinks but since he is a man he probably knows that I’m right and didn’t want to admit it.

[@karenquehl6869]

Matt have you any advise for older adults? I’m retired, 2 children, 2 grandchildren and divorced. Moe looking for companionship life experiences make it hard to trust.. .

[@TheSmilerose]

Will you please talk about narcissism on a deep level.

[@bluemoon8268]

… that clip of the car going over the cliff was triggering … I had a dream the other night where my soon to be ex was driving us down a steep winding road and the car left the road and was airborne over a valley … when I woke up with a jolt … 😰 … it was so surreal … 😞

[@010101Be]

Do Not break up with them in the car! 😂💯 Do not drive together to the breakup location. Good luck. I ended up with a broken neck after I said “I am done!”

[@latvietes7480]

What do you do when you tell your boyfriend that he is being disrespectful, instead of apologizing he tries to flip it back on me making me feel like it was my fault?

[@cyitaiga]

Do not take responsibility. Hold your boundaries. If he can't be accountable for his actions then you need to walk away.

[@abbeyjanegreen703]

Run

[@naomis4228]

6:10

[@katemitchell665]

LOL…number 3. I did that in my marriage. I called myself the barameter wife.

[@MichaelBrown-gf4ow]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@lmbgemini]

He's the one making me wait. So I guess I'm supposed to just wait? We tried once but it was unsuccessful. We haven't tried again since and I'm waiting for him to arrange it. Maybe I should arrange it? Get a hotel for the 2 of us? I expect him, the man to do it. It's been 1 year since we have been together.

[@justinael]

You are so lucky she forgave the butt kick!!! I wouldn't 😁

[@marthatowler3057]

Not the kick in the butt! 😭

[@dashiajames1882]

Goodmorning: I'd be soooo mad if my friend canceled our plans for a guy. Especially last minute. Personally I'm not a last minute person. Ain't noway I'm changing my mood for a guy.

[@angiesaoud]

❤👏🏻❤👏🏻❤👏🏻

[@marthatowler3057]

The social media girlies said they ain’t accepting Olive Garden dates 😭

[@CarnivoreSeventyOne]

That would have been the End! If you kicked my bottom in a restaurant. I would have ran! Sorry you are one lucky man she kept seeing you. That’s a deal breaker to treat me like one of the boys.

[@mariabanholzer5960]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ 🙏🌟💫☀️🌞

[@cjay2658]

I'm the nice girl and need to stop! It's ruining my relationships!

[@cinderling5472]

Ooff... I did all of this wrong Lo and behold, I'm unhappily married Don't be me girls. Please don't be me