Matt Chandler - Terrible Years of Marriage

Matt Chandler, lead teaching pastor at The Village Church, sits down with Jonathon M. Seidl, TheBlaze's deputy managing editor. Here he talks about the first seven years of his marriage, which he calls "terrible." He explains how he and his wife were able to rescue their relationship.

[@Xx0GsaburzxX]

Amen. I am a single christian and for so long I desired to be in a relationship with a Godly woman. However, the Lord has shown me that I need to examine my own heart and change my ways to focusing on Him 1st.

[@godzshadow9001]

Purge.....transform, renew. All starts with an intimate relationship with CHRIST JESUS

[@Ether-pb5gb]

just know that whatever your level of happiness is as a single person will most likely be your level of happiness as a married person. marriage doesn't all of a sudden change your dispositions.

[@lewisalexander7075]

I always appreciate Pr. Chandler’s honesty.

[@kenethsoberano]

Fast forward to 2022 and Matt was forced to step down after being caught in an inappropriate relationship with another mans wife.

[@zeldahopper]

Happy for you both! Marriage is hard...for sure but so worth it. One time during the first few years of my marriage I was asking God why didn't He just allow divorce. Like just be cool with it and not ask us stay with the same person? And He spoke back to my heart saying "because I would never just drop you when you are "tough" or "not fun anymore" or have "issues".

[@TeamMoteck]

amen and amen.

[@PstJay-wy2fx]

zeldahopper that is a great revelation on keeping a marriage alive. You just blessed my heart

[@CalmVibesVee]

zeldahopper The Lord is not abandoning His covenant with me and I am a follower of His ways. Become of servant of love. As we lay down our flesh desires we will be able to unconditionally love them better. Oh help us Lord. Show us the way to endure and serve no matter what. Thank You Lord for not leaving us when we are weak. We cant do this with out Your strength.

[@kierrarichardson80]

zeldahopper woww

[@jasminehodge199]

Amen

[@DrakeDancer]

I like how he says "everything was going well and it made me nervous" no kidding

[@Kaff231]

I love the honesty from this conversation. Very refreshing from a pastor who knows his human deficiencies & short coming to put it on the table like bam this is me. More pastors need this kind of reality check instead of the I've got all the answers conversation.

[@peternygren3215]

This is not a pastor.

[@archenson7655]

@@peternygren3215 He is, actually. Pastor of The Village Church.

[@peternygren3215]

1. PASTORS don’t behave like this man hating asshole. 2. The ONLY church is the LUTHERAN Church!!!

[@KathleenJ]

@@peternygren3215 No. The only church is the Catholic Church. The Lutheran church is a break away cult lead by a rebellious priest.

[@framboise595]

@@peternygren3215 I don't know if he is a pastor but you're right about his misandry. He would never dare to blame women for anything going wrong in marriage. He just says that husbands have to be "patient". and that's all . No more male control = total female control.

[@TheeMissStephany]

Beautiful testimony!

[@infomercialguy]

So good. And, I can relate. I'm going to read eph 5 now. I do same mistake Matt did - i try to fix situation. I need to fix me and just be gentle and kind no matter the situation. I really appreciated this conversation. God bless you guys. great great interview. man was that rubber hit the road stuff.

[@cabrerajonathan44]

Amazing! God is so good!!! We are so blessed to have men like him speak words of truth for others to learn from. Being humble enough to share his story has just freed somebody, thank you Mr. Chandler and thank you Jesus!

[@MsGrace089]

Thank you so much for this testimony! I absolutely needed this.

[@sunimoliyyankutty1649]

1:54 is epic! I've done the same thing, I've actually thought the same thing lying un bed, "this can't be the rest of my life, always striving with my spouse", because for me also, divorce was not even an option. So if it's bad then gonna have to endure it the rest of my life. I also like his solution, rather than focus on her faults, he focused on bettering himself, he choose to take the step of humility and stoop to his wife. He decided no matter how she treats him, he'll serve her regardless, he got Rid of his selfishness, the same thing i did. I'm glad i didn't leave my wife, it made me a better person and eventually she came around too.

[@pmatz]

praise God. this is a massive encouragement.

[@rajeshchristopher]

1 year of my marriage is terrible & disappointing ! Honestly! . It’s very challenging at this moment. May God have His Grace upon me .

[@Marmit42424]

Hi Rajesh. What are you struggling against in particular?

[@rachelb8082]

how is your marriage now?

[@framboise595]

She's in control and you let her be .. Enjoy !

[@dylanmilks]

Such a powerful testimony. Praise God!

[@DunkiesGirlAgain]

Really needed to hear this tonight.

[@luisarnoldogallardo891]

Thanks for making this video!

[@Amy-wh9dz]

Refreshing and so encouraging.

[@CalmVibesVee]

I am a Servant. Nothing more. This is the only way to go. If a spouse is not content in Christ there will be great struggle in marriage. Serve, work on you and the Lords relationship. Respect spouse and serve them the best you can. Pray. Lay down things you "need" from them. Let it go at the Lords feet, give them up and just serve. My mantra, "It's ok, Jesus is coming"

[@RashedaF]

Love thia

[@ricardodavila1391]

Wow this is amazing! Glory to God! May this bring hope to others!

[@c4given346]

I did that. I can relate so much to what Pastor Matt said. I thought I needed to be the Holy Spirit in my husband's life. I had so many insecurities. As a kid, I could never measure up no matter how hard I tried. That being coupled with a 1st marriage to a man who was every kind of evil...who had tried to make me miscarry our unborn son and also attempted to kill me so many times. That was very difficult to live through and recover from. I was very suspicious of men and sometimes had a skewed perception of reality. The hardest thing in my life was the divorce (from my 2nd marriage) that we went through after being together for 37 years. We divorced 1 month shy, to the day, of being married for 30 years. He was my best friend, and things weren't perfect, but the pain of divorce was worse than a death. I am a trophy of God's grace...still learning, still letting God put the broken pieces of my heart back together. I am so so grateful to finally know that I am accepted and hand-picked by my Father in Heaven. God bless you both and your beautiful marriage.

[@TabithaDavis]

I love this so much because we have been there as well!

[@BronzeLincolns81]

i found this to be quite refreshing.

[@Amy-wh9dz]

Me too! I thought it was going to be depressing, but it's absolutely inspiring to hear how, 8 years after their hard trial, they are still going strong!

[@erastusjonesdoughton7399]

I appreciate your honesty.

[@gn5574]

I bet during those six years everyone thought their marriage is wonderful eh?

[@shayrenae4139]

Nice matt! I receive it!

[@nakeshaj]

I've wanted a divorce for the last 3 yrs and we've been married for 3. Although he's taking me for granted and taking God for granted God has been working on me. It gets so upsetting sometimes. It seems that he's letting my husband get away with all this evil, selfish behavior but God is saying," focus on you and me, not him".

[@mmichy]

I hope you are in a better place in your marriage now ❤️

[@nakeshaj]

@@mmichy unfortunately we are divorced. Spirituality I have immensely grown in the grace and the knowledge of God since the divorce. Im still believing God for his Salvation. Thank you for the well wishes.

[@mmichy]

@@nakeshaj May our Lord Jesus Christ supply you with all that you need to conform into the image of Himself. Blessings to you sister as you grow deeper in your faith ❤️

[@nakeshaj]

@@mmichy God bless!

[@steff407]

@nakeshaj how do you feel now looking back?

[@kenethsoberano]

Fast forward to 2022 and Matt was forced to step down after being caught in an inappropriate relationship with another mans wife.

[@patriciaperry2028]

Yup

[@dankwilde]

Thank you Matt.

[@winifredmcdonald3418]

Matt you are so honest, that really HELPS!!

[@kenethsoberano]

Matt was recently forced to step down after being caught in an inappropriate relationship with another mans wife.

[@ufink]

@@kenethsoberano wow.. you sound a lil too eager to share that. And he wasn’t caught in anything.. he outed himself for messaging a female friend too frequently.. and all spouses were aware of their communications. 😒

[@kenethsoberano]

@@ufink He was caught and confronted by the married woman's friend. That's why he had to come forward. He wasn't sitting by himself on a park bench and convicted by the Holy Spirit. He was caught.

[@ufink]

@@kenethsoberano lol.. what do you mean he was caught. Yes the lady’s friend said she thought it was inappropriate and he went and reported himself to the elders.. But it was said that the woman’s spouse and his wife were both aware. He wasn’t hiding it. So he wasn’t caught. Stop tryna scandalize it 😒..

[@Ether-pb5gb]

marriage is tough. It is tough. What helps me is working on me. Sure, there are some times where I feel like a victim. In those cases, lots of fresh air help, or just walking out the house for a long drive helps. But for the most part, I am the reason why my marriage is hard. I need to work on me. "Charity never faileth"

[@framboise595]

Women have that devilish tendancy to make marriage way tougher that it should be. And men are so weak and passive these days that they just listen to their wives instead of dominating them. Enjoy the mess we are living in.

[@blostin]

So helpful to hear this!

[@Tmcgivern74]

Thanks Matt, Finger on the pulse. Let's talk, Tim

[@jcqwater8713]

God bless your marriage and family!

[@funimax4236]

SEVEN .......The number of perfection

[@christinaversanes5950]

Jesus...PLEEEASE...restore my marriage..."search ME and...create in me a clean heart and renew in me a steadfast spirit"...

[@winifredmcdonald3418]

So happy for you both all blessings to you and your family in Jesus Name.

[@Izthefaithful]

I love Christians! Thanks Matt, super cool!

[@KathleenJ]

Yeah, atheists call it a "crutch. They have no idea.

[@RoanPretorius-de7xv]

Where is his wife? Why is he telling us what she would be saying? Is this before his other relationship?

[@prettysimplemusic]

The Algorithm 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@opensecret4451]

AH.YES - Either the Worst Case Scenario or the "joys of being single" - It's not even about "lonliness" - There is Something Inherintly Wrong with being - Aline.

[@angeldancer9932]

If only christians would stop trying to be the Holy Spirit to everyone......

[@markmusatau1929]

Well although we are not to be Holy Spirit, we are to be Christ to earth. That means to call black black and white white if that's the answer you are looking for. With love, with compassion. But yes, we are not perfect in nature, so sorry. But God loves his children and through us he will bring in glory and kingdom. God bless you.

[@aaronwatson4477]

Angel Dancér exactly.

[@Amy-wh9dz]

Amen.

[@charlesgriffiths750]

He was such a good preacher once upon a time...

[@Vesta0831]

???

[@framboise595]

Such a misandric preacher is more like it. How can husbands let their wives turn marriage into a place of struggle and conflict where it should be a place of joy and physical intimacy ? Better live in a desert than with a struggling wife. No man should tolerate this in their house.

[@Klaudyacampos]

Wow

[@framboise595]

Marriage may be hard , but let's be honest. It is harder for many to fight against sexual temptations. Biblical celibacy has nothing to do with the deceitful celibacy that the world practices. Once we have that safe place where we can be sexually free , temptations are no more an obstacle to our spiritual life. We just experiment what the Bible clearly tells us.

[@sarahs3988]

This works the opposite way too, when a woman submits to her husband as unto the Lord, for the sake of service to the Lord and not to change their husband, it can transform a marriage. Mine was like this,but when I submit myself to my husband my husband changed by the grace of God.

[@framboise595]

This works this way ONLY. 1 Peter 3. This way only. You have no male equivalent to 1 Peter 3 and it's just logical . A husband has to be in control and the wife in submission. That's all. Chandler and co just work for the DEVIL to reverse God's perfect order in the name of "love" . You bet marriage is at such a low these days !

[@eltonron1558]

I can appreciate the resolution, but even one month of the christianspeak would drive me nuts.

[@darkknight901]

To be fair didn’t he marry 19 year old. What you expect?

[@heyheysarah7782]

It took him 7 years to realize that he needed to work on himself? 😳

[@kenethsoberano]

He's still lost.

[@catlady3147]

And here he is now, stepping down for inappropriate messages to a woman. Sounds like his marriage is a farce.

[@YESYES-qz2ex]

YIP. And in our christian group we just today watched his video where he explains how sinful it is to mess around with your marriage. Really Matt Chandler?

[@framboise595]

@ Catlady " Sounds like his marriage is a farce" What does his marriage bed look like ? Does he have regular sex with his wife as the Lord wants it in order to avoid temptations ?

[@framboise595]

" Terrible years of marriage" Another man who let his wife be in control and as a result could not find contentment in her.

[@lotrfan8]

Where does he say she was in control? He says he was trying to be the Holy Spirit for her. Also, I find it interesting that he gives a reason for his insecurities, but doesn't seem to be concerned about the reasons behind her "self-absorption"- which appear to be another type of insecurity to me

[@framboise595]

@@lotrfan8 He was trying to be the Holy Spirit for her ? What is that insanity seriously ? Where has the REAL BIBLICAL reason for marrying gone ? If men have terrible years of marriage , it is very easy to understand that it is because they are not in control at all. The BIBLE that is hated by churchians tell men to REJOICE in their wives . Proverbs 5:18 The BIBLE urges us to get married in order to avoid sexual immorality 1 Co 7:4 How paramount ! But those little boys afraid of their mommy wives can not even regard them as the object of their sexual desires anymore !!!

[@lotrfan8]

@@framboise595 I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that men being in control= good, wives being in control= bad. I'm also curious as to your definition of what Biblical marriage was, since marriages at the time weren't really based in love

[@framboise595]

@@lotrfan8 Wives being in control is not bad ? Biblical marriage was indeed not based in love because love-based marriage is a modern heresy ! David LOVED Jonathan as his soul . Did he marry him ? God's definition of marriage is to be one flesh. It's not about love but about sex !

[@framboise595]

@@lotrfan8 The Word tells wives to submit to their husbands in everything , so how could wives being in control be a good thing ?

[@JoyceDobervich]

Matt chandler would you ever see a female neurologist?

[@framboise595]

"I will find my contentment not in my wife" Well , the Bible says the exact opposite !

[@ericcarpenter7184]

Scripture and verse please to back up your​ opinion.

[@framboise595]

@@ericcarpenter7184 REJOICE in the wife of your youth . This is the Bible . Not false preachers. And the "rejoice" thing is especially sexual in the Bible.

[@leonjohnson6709]

Taking it out of context. I think he meant he was looking to his before God.

[@manifestfast5478]

Rejoicing in someone and finding your meaning/reason/contentment in them are not the same thing

[@framboise595]

@@leonjohnson6709 How did I take that out of context ? Isn't marriage for sex ? Isn't marriage THE shield against sexual temptations according to the Bible ? What makes marriage so hard today is because men are so weak , so passive that they don't dominate their wives anymore. If he does not find contentment in his wife , then what does he marry for ? If he can remain sexless and find contentmentin the Lord only , then he's better living off as a monk ! How does this man make sense ? He's totally off Scriptures. According to the Bible , there are two reasons why you get married : - to avoid sexual immorality -to be fruiftul and multiply If you don't need sex , then you do'nt need marriage. Could it be clearer ?

[@genavieveshaw5654]

I am not surprised. This guy is not a winner.

[@Tre492]

Says the youtube account with no picture

[@Tre492]

...no videos and ONE subscriber

[@YESYES-qz2ex]

He just recently confirmed your suspicions.