Matt Chandler on When Compatibility Matters in a Relationship

Matt Chandler shares why it's important for compatibility to play a role in your relationships.

[@davidswander]

Totally agree. Sharing the same values is primary, then the common interests, but sharing values will keep you in unity and on the same foundational level for everything you do in life.

[@virus2003]

I completely agree. Unfortunately my mate did not. We individually love God and put Him first. We had deep connections in every area that "counts"... but I was ultimately rejected because I don't dig musicals and team sports. Ouch. =/ Yet I'm thankful for the pain because it's brought me closer to His perfect love!

[@kaleomariz1000]

This is sad 😢! If he seemed like such a nice mate, why did he leave? I don’t want to be intrusive, I just wish to understand. So as not to make the same mistake your ex did. Because my marriage is a dark crisis right now. And I am wondering if divorce is the least bad option that will set my wife free to be happier without me. Was that the mindset of your ex? To set you free?

[@IceTurf]

Working out is important!

[@pl7666]

Thanks soo much for this its enlightening.

[@linnetmbotto7212]

Yeah

[@shamusmcfly2010]

????? How long, O Lord, faithful and true? Come quickly Lord Jesus!

[@harrisonlang4815]

I hate being single

[@justinbirkelo6806]

That's most likely why you are, my friend :)

[@kaleomariz1000]

Dude, it’s not that bad. I am married. But I married just because I was lonely to someone whom I am not very attracted and has a very different personality. Now I am a terrible husband, who during Valentine’s Day posts fake love messages on social media just to give a façade of a beautiful loving marriage. Love should come from the heart, not through effort. I learned that the hard way and now I am in a very hard marriage. (And she is a nice girl! Imagine if she weren’t.). ------------ As for sex, well… we married in our 30’s. Her sex drive is low now. She feels pain during sex, she lacks muscle flexibility so sex is always a ‘complicated’ thing to accomplish and not spontaneous. (I say this not to expose myself but to show you that being married just because you may want to have sex without sinning, will not solve your problems).

[@happylife5654]

the dark grey background and the brownish polo are not a good match , it takes me longer to click on the video because of this visual result

[@aaronh5792]

There's an example of a place where superficial compatability shouldn't matter 😂

[@liamhoogendoorn1652]

Boohoo, so what.

[@kyleg4453]

Jesus is King of kings and Lord of Lords!

[@aletheamallory9674]

I don't agree. Having the same values are important. Compatibily??? GOD could care less whether or not you're compatible. In fact, that is the reason HE will put two saved but not compatible people (flawed) together in order for them to be transformed into the image of CHRIST👑.

[@kaleomariz1000]

I am sorry if this offends you. But what you are saying is dreadfully unloving advice. How could God care less about compatibility? God creates us unique! Not just in our unique faces but in our personalities with all our natural tastes and predispositions. So in a marriage we is it required that a spouse the person who will love that uniqueness like no other human being in the world will. (In fact, married love should be the deepest love in live; surpassing even the love for children who come from our flesh). Marriage without compatibility is dangerous actually. Imagine a guy who’s is like Isaac Newton. His gift and job is to study God’s laws of physics 8 hours a day, and contemplate god’s beauty in the universe. The girl is into none of that. She is into athletics. These two getting married would have to sacrifice the beautiful gift of their individuality that God gave them in order to have “some” stability. And they would always feel curtained as if married is limiting them somehow. ------------- I know this because I was fooled into the lie that compatibility isn’t necessary. My wife sees life very different from me. We just married because we were lonely and felt no one would like us. But now I am seeing that we’d be better off just being best buddies. (I won’t divorce because it’s sinful. But not because I love her. Which is sad.) Love has to come from the heart, not from “hard work”. The same way that love towards God comes from God’s grace, not through effort.