Why this Chinese American chose Singapore for life

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Meet Qi, a US citizen born in China, who studied at Stanford and worked in New York. Six years ago, Qi moved to Singapore and made a midlife career switch from an investment professional to a mental health therapist. She told me why she feels happy in Singapore, how the country's political system compares to those in Europe and America, and what Singaporeans should be aware of when abroad. Enjoy!
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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 INTRO
00:40 Background
01:23 Political system in Singapore
02:11 Multicultural family
02:51 Accent and foreign languages
06:34 Why you need to travel
11:27 Streetsmart or booksmart
12:57 Identity: Chinese and American
18:01 The view on the US
21:48 Stanford experience
24:28 Career switch
34:45 How to change career
41:45 Mental health advice
51:00 The meaning of life
TODAY'S GUEST:
➢ on LinkedIn: / qizhai
➢ on Instagram: / relationshipswithqi
Hey! This channel bridges the gap between locals and foreigners all over the world. Join Max as he interviews expats, unraveling their unique stories and providing valuable insights into their lives in the vibrant places of Asia. Through engaging conversations, Max fosters understanding and appreciation between locals and the global community, focusing on cultural exchange.
If you're a company seeking sponsorship opportunities to engage our upscale audience, contact us at [e-mail]. With over 50% Singaporean viewers and a substantial number of foreign professionals (US, EU, Australia), our mature audience (35-54 years) boasts strong purchasing power and interests in an above-average lifestyle, travel, investment, and personal finance.
#ExpatLife #MaxChernov #Singapore

[@Time4Peace]

This lady is no ordinary person. She is highly intelligent, adaptable and perceptive. Give her a problem and she has the creativity and capability to deal with it. SG government should tap her for her expertise.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you! I went to school with many Singaporeans and count them amongst my closest friends. Singapore has really welcomed me and my family.

[@Ian-wj7el]

@@QiZhaiMcCartneytell them how it feels to be a minority. And be kind to minorities here or anywhere else in the world.🙂

[@hubertcumberdale2651]

Your comment just sounds like simping without directly calling her "beautiful". I bet if she was black, you'd call her voice and manner of speech "eloquent" wouldn't you? 😉

[@genosypheus]

so refreshing to hear someone with a sound and rational mind speaks.....we need more positive Qi in Singapore :)

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you!

[@maryanne4243]

Singapore will always have a special place in my heart. It was my second home for almost 2 decades, and still feels like it after leaving a year ago. Probably the place where I am most comfortable with. And I share the same views with Qi, 100%.

[@blessedcheflim8579]

Pls cme visit again!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Singapore has been my second (third?) home since I first came here to work in the 2000s. It’s a place I kept coming back to and by the time we had completed our family, it felt like the best place to raise our children. I’m glad you have found a feeling of home here too ❤

[@maryanne4243]

@@blessedcheflim8579 Definitely visiting again.

[@jeffwang9132]

I never commented or replied in KZbin. But I want to say this is one most the most impressive conversation I ever watched. Qi is amazing woman with lots of wisdoms. If Qi has her own channel, I wil be the first one to follow.

[@frankmichaelchiara]

Qi 's articulation on her career and life is reflective of her abilities to adapt and evolve. Such a wealth of experiences have only made her an even better counselor. This does not discount that she is inherently empathetic and a good observer of human nature ..... traits that are absolutely invaluable toward being a good therapist! I enjoyed this interview!😀

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you, Frank!

[@siendut123]

Qi is a remarkable person! wonderful dialogue!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you! Credit to my interviewer Max for asking engaging questions.

[@jlscsubs]

One of the most insightful videos I've watched in a very long time. Great in-depth interview, I'm thankful for Qi's openness in sharing her life experiences. I feel like I've gotten a therapy session for free

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

I'm glad you found this useful. I also share daily therapy / relationship / life tips on my social media.

[@jolieguan8810]

@@QiZhaiMcCartney You will be a very great KZbinr, sharing wisdom and insightful thoughts. I’m already your fan.❤

[@StarPlatinumV]

I watched this expecting a pompous attitude... BUT, I was clearly wrong. She was very kind, elegant and very smart. I like her kind attitude and lots of experience. She is very well-rounded and a sweet human being.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for keeping an open mind and watching something that might've turned you off at first glance!

[@feralhamster2429]

Why did you assume this? Every American has a Trump personality?

[@weili3]

Great speaker. Love her thoughts and the way she delivered her points.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you so much!

[@sktoh4469]

Unfortunately, if a person was brought up in Sinkapore and lived there all their life, they would never have been able to deliver their thoughts in as articulate a fashion as this lady.

[@prabirchatterjee8434]

It's a very nice interview, thoroughly enjoyed. She is open-hearted. She has full clarity of her thoughts and never short of right words to explain her believes.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you, Prabir. I'm glad the ideas came across clearly. Sometimes ideas feel clearer in our own heads and when shared they don't always come across well!

[@misoshiru6969]

This is probably the most interesting interviewee I have ever watched on Max's KZbin channel, Qi is very candid and authentic with her views and she pretty much laid out the solution to relationship issues

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you!

[@kris_tan]

Qi’s clear and thoughtful approach to her career and life showcases her impressive adaptability and growth

[@MrEL28]

Excellent interview with a wonderful individual, esp. in the 2nd half of interview. we need more people like her in the world.

[@Llucius1]

Not to take everything for granted , best advice.

[@Llucius1]

@@jack99889988 I have been there for a while , and I really enjoyed there. Yes , it is true that Singapore might not be the best place for people who are poor , the people I know don't really take wealth as the forefront of relationships. It's just different for everyone perhaps.

[@pt6637]

I love her air of confidence, her eloquence n unhindered speech but more than that I love the richness n depth of her experience n how her environment has shaped her unique identity n worldview. She is both affable n grounded and seems to be someone who has her finger on the pulse. Hvg lived in several countries, I too quite resonate with her. She has definitely inspired me to be brave in my current pursuits. I’m glad to hv stumbled on this podcast. My thanks n admiration to this amazing lady. ❤

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for the kind words. I wish you good luck and great courage in pursuing your next dream!

[@Time4Peace]

This is the benefit of having a cross cultural background. Understanding cultural differences broadens one's perspective.

[@hueichinlim8561]

I have never write in your comment section before. But i am so impressed with Qi 's intelligent and choice of words. High wisdom guest !! Good job Max 👏

[@hyesungstory]

I seriously agreed with her on how comfortable and safe Singapore made us feel that I am always edgy when I’m overseas regardless where I go but I think it’s a plus point because you will appreciate more of the place you are in, how fortunate you are in Singapore 🇸🇬

[@psoon04286]

“Yah lah. Also can” perfectly spoken like a local😄👍🏼

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Yay, my "Yah lah" got a stamp of approval!

[@hochinpengphd]

C'mon ... why so taken up by these token singlish words? Grow a pair.

[@theansangong2659]

EXCELLENT INTERVIEW!

[@bencyber8595]

finance & phychology .

[@0209MusicLover]

I enjoyed this interview so much. Very good content with insightful thoughts and observations. Qi, you earned my admiration as a very professional, intelligent and successful woman of modern times! Enjoy Singapore my beloved nation!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you! Singapore has been so welcoming in ways big and small. We’re grateful to be here and to have the support of friends, neighbors, and a great community.

[@orinnoco2919]

Great Interview Max! Thank you for allowing your interviewees to speak without interruptions! This lady is an awesome human being!

[@nannyjen]

This woman needs to have her own youtube channel! amazing interview, throughly enjoyed it!

[@90taetaeya]

I have lived in the US before and I absolutely did not feel free there either, every other day there was a shooting, also the racist stares I get, and also not able to go out after sundown. I felt imprisoned and oppressed.

[@blessedcheflim8579]

Americans alwys comment Sg does not hv Freedom of Speech, no democracy etc..but we feel free here, our mind are not worrying about being shot, mugged etc. Thats real Freedom.

[@impopquiz]

Her English accent is pretty neutral and Singlish (based on the couple of words) is also quite accurate. Wow what a diverse life she has had.

[@bakerstreet101]

She sounds like she married someone pretty wealthy.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

@@bakerstreet101 I was fortunate to have my public education in China for free and my private school education abroad sponsored as part of an employment benefit. When my husband and I met, we were equal in our earnings, and through the different seasons of our life together, we have taken turns being the more "domestic" one and the more "provider" one.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for your compliment on my attempt at Singlish. I have been told that my accent changes slightly depending on where I am and with whom I'm speaking.

[@Humorousguy64]

Well my english below average and i still can understand all your sentence ...means your words perfect for me ...i enjoy your way of speaking ...thanks la !!!

[@johnnyquest6894]

I feel that she is an empathetic lady. I somehow like the way she is talking. It's a great interview.

[@uqilin]

Really enjoyed this interview. Very insightful.

[@lyceljuanillo3209]

Smart and intelligent lady. I love her sharing opinions and thoughts.

[@mollieching4102]

Thank you so much, Qi and Max! This is the most insightful and interesting interview! I watched over again .. for motivation 🤩

[@DerekNoga]

I really enjoyed the longer form video! Excellent guest as well!

[@krappola1]

very good interview - good perspective socially, politically and living. And she is right, she does not know in 10, 20 or 30 years but this feels right for now. I like that perspectives. She is not lviing in Singapore for night entertainment for younger professionals and singles. What she is looking right now, Singapore fits what her needs and her family needs. She is an eloquent conversationalist, well-thought out answers. She will be an excellent TED speaker.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for your kind words. I did once enjoy the nightlife, when I first moved here in my 20s. Now I enjoy the safety, comfort, and cultural diversity for my Third Cuture Kid children. Having lived in Singapore three times, I really feel that Singapore has a lot to offer to people at different life stages!

[@samuraikai1993]

What a remarkable woman. Thank you to KZbin algothrim for showing me your content and interview! Learned a lot

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for watching. I also want to thank the YT algorithm LOL.

[@samuraikai1993]

Hearing your story, you sound to have lived a very dynamic and experienced life. Was very inspiring to hear about your perspectives on making a major career change whilst balancing family commitments and your own mental health. Very much resonated with me and I hope to see more of your content too!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

@@samuraikai1993 Thank you. I struggled at times in my 20s and 30s, but at midlife I feel comfortable with the things I did and the things that happened. In the midst of making a family or a career change, I couldn't see the end goal. But in hindsight, I'm glad I kept trying to take one step at a time because it did eventually take shape and make sense.

[@kennethn5066]

Awesome interview ❤

[@aave865]

She's good. Thanks for all the pointers for a successful relationship. My partner and I are watching this on a couch we are saying to each other.."see what I mean".

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

I love that you watched this with your partner. You're doing a "ritual of connection" and learning about / understanding each other better with this simple act of watching KZbin together!

[@changhtp]

Deeply meaningful n honest conversation! TQVM 😊

[@joannamacdonald2500]

Really enjoyable interview .

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you, Joanna!

[@clarang3461]

I really enjoy this interview ❤

[@7mong61]

It is very smart for her to be choosing Singapore... especially now that China and US tension is alarming.

[@stva4911]

I am so impressed by how intelligent this interview turns out...beautifully presented by Qi and Max. Thank you both.

[@Potomacstud]

Superb video , Thank You Ms Qi , Thank You Max

[@lwsut]

excellent conversation! enjoyed

[@joebeenkim9355]

Really appreciate your sharing

[@spoton383]

Really good episode. Love to hear her again.

[@tze-liangfoo7806]

A very good piece. Really enjoyed the dialogue and exchanges, sharing of experiences. 👍👍👍

[@joeooipc]

max , one of the best interviews to date ... Very insightful and I'm everyone will have something to pick up from this

[@josephinefoo676]

Good episode and insightful sharings from both Qi and Max. Hope to see more of such interviews from Max 😊

[@kenzone]

Very enjoyable and interesting interview. She’s mature, intelligent and also down to earth. Sounds like a person whom I could talk to easily.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

I love meeting new people and sharing interesting conversations!

[@aaronkwan]

Best whole hearted interview ever

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Your comment made my day. Thank you, Aaron.

[@2008amiame]

Wow, didn't expect to get very valuable advice about life. This was very intellectually deep and informative for me. Thanks Max!

[@MaxChernov]

Glad it was helpful!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

I'm glad you found the interview helpful to your life. I share daily relationship counselling / life tips on my socials too. Have a good day!

[@samanthayeh2429]

Very insightful interview, it does makes me sit down and rethink life

[@yangtzeling7468]

What an engaging and enlightening conversation !

[@justus.justus]

Such a nice interview! She seems like a nice person

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you very much!

[@jpoch]

Best Chernov interview I've seen so far imo... I learned a lot from Qi.

[@joanneshomekitchen4727]

Great conversation!

[@hawlengwong7020]

Great interview, great guest!

[@jcchong8238]

Hi Max, thanks for this video.

[@markjohn3461]

Probably the best episode so far

[@kayyin]

I enjoyed this episode. Definitely can relate as we have similar backgrounds and have many questions, doubts, and optimism of our stay here in Singapore as we go into our 3rd year. Thank you for sharing Qi!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for watching and sharing your comments, Kay!

[@user-os1zf1hg8z]

I can really resonate with her philosophy in life! Enjoyed this interview a lot!

[@heishoi]

Very inspiring and thoughtful ❤

[@tietoliikenne]

That last part of mental health advice and meaning of life is so valuable! Glad to have watched/come across it. :) Thank you for it.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for watching and I’m glad you found the therapy tips helpful. My socials are linked in the episode notes - I share daily mental health and relationship tips.

[@gosikh]

I love this person.

[@jimmychew]

You both are fantastic. insightful dialogue and interesting lives you all are living. lots of values and depth.

[@arounbockcher5601]

Very interesting guest!

[@sharonlim1829]

Oh gosh, I love this lady,! She is so knowledgeable and such an inspiration to all. Thank you so much for this rich sharing. Please start your own you tube channel. Everyone will want to follow you ❤

[@russellheng1242]

This is 1% excellent vid of the total KZbin channel. Amazing Qi 👍👍👍

[@michellelye6265]

She is pleasant and impressive… she definitely earns your admiration after just watching her for a couple of minutes!

[@YangGQ]

So nice to have you, Qi, in Singapore after your RTW travels and career! After 30 years, Starting in London (local). HK, SGP, France, SGP, India, London (expat), SGP - we have moved on to Malaysia. But Singapore is also home, and always will be.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

You have led quite an adventurous life! A piece of every place I've lived in shaped a piece of me - I wholeheartedly agree with your comment that "Singapore is also home, and always will be."

[@linglingtaymrsfoo]

Great therapeutic session just listening to the lady speak. I enjoyed this interview tremendously without even minding the length of it. :)

[@bigthings]

Refreshing to have such an intelligent guest

[@neutroyaz]

Don't even need to go to Cambodia. If expats living in Robertson Quay were to just cross the road to Jalan Kukoh estate, they'd notice the stark difference. She's brilliant!

[@junior081170]

Always welcome!

[@Mscellany1]

Great Insight, very articulate! Especially resonated with her views on identity crisis and introspection and questioning. I'm Indian but grew up overseas and often feel like I'm in limbo...

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Theodora Voutsa at 88 Productions is making a documentary on "Third Culture Kids." You should check out her trailers! It might resonate with yours and my experience.

[@Luisarrietaso123]

Qi's kids are very fortunate for having such an open-minded and conscientious mother. Ela arrasa♥ Cheers from South America!

[@jessieang5604]

It was a very insightful interview indeed. I found Qi's sharing on taking small steps and letting the changes evolve, and asking What's The Worst Thing That Can Happen very sound and practical advice. My personal experiences are when I fear that if I don't do something and it's only going to get worse, I will just bite the bullet and do it. However, at the other extreme end, there were times when I allowed fear to overcome me to the point that it stopped me from doing anything at all.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Hi Jessie. Thank you for sharing honestly about your fears and challenges. When in doubt, ask yourself “Can I conduct a small behavioral or thought experiment with myself? What if I try X (small increment of change) for 7 days? What happens then?” I share practical relationship and life tips on my socials (IG and LI). I hope you’ll find some of that helpful too! My info is in the episode notes.

[@minnie8781]

This interview segued from her experience of feeling at home in Spore, to sharing her knowledge n approach on helping couples as a marriage therapist. As a Singaporean n counsellor, I enjoyed the interview immensely, n admire her authenticity in pursuing a life that brings her joy n significance.

[@SukhdevSingh-ge5rj]

Great interview. Marriage counselor is really great 😃👍

[@yamezt]

I enjoyed this interview! Also led me to enjoy listening to Qi's socials for her snippets of advice. The 3 H's really resonated with me and made me realised that my partner and I are quite different in which "H" we generally seek first. Tx!

[@stephenkong8955]

This is one of the best interviews I ever seen, and the best interview I’ve seen in your channel.

[@Cheeze_isLIFE]

This was almost an hour interview but it didn't feel too long at all and that's only because you found an interesting subject. She was articulate and very pleasant to listen to and you also did well as an interviewer. Thank you to both of you and keep up the good work, Max!

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you for watching! I was impressed with the progression of easy to “big life questions” Max orchestrated.

[@moodygal100]

I would be very happy if Qi starts her own channel 😊

[@qlbb]

she is so powerful

[@Scania770V8]

33:47. "And so, I never wanted to have the lifestyle be a stumbling block for life. " Utterly brilliant observation. Thank you for bringing this interview out. Both you and Qi have some solid life insights.

[@hoebeng1]

Remarkable person!

[@Justhere2025]

Thanks and I go to US now. Cheers.

[@IaneHowe]

Because is an amazing country

[@gingerthegoldendoodle6285]

This is your best interview so far. Very articulate person ! I am seeking the best place to retire part time in Asia and she made a lot of sense with her comments. I understand why she will not give up her American citizenship too. I would not either !

[@seankiong]

thank you so much, singapore is the right choice

[@bokwoon]

wow this is one long interview 😯

[@maysanchan4107]

Highly respect her views on couple relationship.

[@mokkiemok]

22:08

[@iancluroe5659]

What a great video and conversation. A million things to think about and be inspired by. I’m going to share with my daughter, who’s following (so far) a similar academic and professional path that Qi took early on. She’s a great model for young women to learn from.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Thank you, Ian. How wonderful that your daughter has a father who is guiding her academically, professionally, and also emotionally!

[@hcbevin3234]

As a "pure breed", Singaporean, I'm really glad our country has attracted this lady to come here. We need more foreigners like her to settle down here for the right reasons and also contribute positively to the society. Most of my contacts with foreigners who had stayed here long term were mainly to "extract something" such as academic qualifications, lifestyle or simply just money from Singapore before they leave.

[@freelancer1499]

Hi Max! Great interview, enjoyed the light heartedness of this one. Can I ask do u get your own children to learn Mandarin too?

[@MaxChernov]

Yep

[@Time4Peace]

​@@MaxChernovBut it's hard. The quality of teaching can make or break interest in learning the language.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

His kids do learn Mandarin and some of our kids go to the same school!

[@cheeweistephenlim8372]

Learnt the gist of the video talk Spectrum of love that everyone goes throught akin to a volume dialer,clockwise then anti clockwise,vice versa.

[@pamcheung9880]

great lady Qi.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

Indeed. We all move through seasons and most things in life are on a spectrum. A lot of human suffering comes from our brains over-simplifying the equation and viewing many things as binary, "black or white," zero or one hundred.

[@letsgowalk]

She has US citizenship, but she’s still mainland Chinese. “Chinese American” refers more to ABCs.

[@lkl7045]

Amazing nation with so many smart & intelligent people living in a tiny island, life must be great yah.

[@humanshieldz]

She picked up Singlish so easily haha though Singlish is designed to be as simple as possible but still impressive with the accent 😂😂🥰🥰

[@hiroyukishinichi9873]

❤❤❤

[@tianm1m160]

If youre chinese its great to be in singapore.

[@user-pb5yj9iq3p]

It's funny every time I hear this "Malaysia is dangerous" talk. You know what, it was actually my Malaysian friends, colleagues and their family who told me not-so-nice things about Malaysia that gave me the impression that "Malaysia is dangerous" - motorcyclist smashing your car windows, people being kidnapped from toilets at the petrol stations etc. Before I heard all these, it had never occurred to me that Malaysia was unsafe. But I like the "Relax" len vs "Be Alert" len comparison. We should go out and see the world. Otherwise, we'll become so narrow-minded. I know some Singaporeans are very sheltered and I wish they could be less judgemental when they go overseas. For those outliers that Max talked about, we must remember that they're extremely smart to begin with, your Steve Jobs, your Bill Gates equivalent. So whether they get that university degree or not, they are going to be successful, simply because they're the top 1% of the society. And I totally agree with the fact that when you've choices, you've freedom. That makes SUCH a big difference. And whether you've choices or not, sometimes it's all in your mind - you've more choices if you don't already struck them off to begin with. Max, this is one of your best videos for some time! Qi is really engaging! I love her perspective to "the meaning of life" - to experience life to the fullest, curiosity and freedom, and explore to the fullest.

[@amiruldaniel9076]

Yo are u Malaysian

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

How interesting! I have family memebrs who have married Malaysians and they have always been very encouraging of us visiting Malaysia. Thank you for watching and sharing your comments. We have this chance to take a walk through Life - let's make the most of it!

[@user-pb5yj9iq3p]

@@QiZhaiMcCartney It wasn't that my friends were discouraging me to visit Malaysia. I think they had meant well with their reminders - they don't want us to get hurt. One of Max's earlier interviewees (Dharni, a Singaporean who had lived in the US) made this comment that I can relate to - that in SG, you don't always have to watch your back. then you might find anywhere outside of SG 'dangerous'. But I also think many Singaporeans over-think the 'dangerous' part. It's not like you're going to be attacked constantly, you just have to be more careful than you usually are - bcos in SG, you can just be careless all the time. 😛

[@user-pb5yj9iq3p]

@@amiruldaniel9076 No, I'm a Singaporean.

[@QiZhaiMcCartney]

@@user-pb5yj9iq3p I understand. It's what I realized when we were in the US last year - we were forgetting that it isn't always as safe as Singapore and we needed to watch where we left our phones or wallets!