MAYA DEHLIN ON JOHN DEHLIN, PANSEXUALITY & DEPRESSION

[@neophytical]

:( bisexuality isn't binary, it makes me so sad when people characterise it that way “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted - romantically and/or sexually - to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” -Robyn Ochs

[@madeleine.exists9207]

Thank you for posting this comment!!!

[@kinseymckenna]

I’m here 4 years after this comment, and I absolutely loved this video, but I’m still very happy to see someone already said it and it was the top comment❤️

[@ShannonGrover]

I was taken to see the bishop over my suicidal depression when I was 21 and was told that women in the church experience depression because they committed a sexual sin so I was interrogated for two hours to find out what I had supposedly done wrong to cause my depression. The church is *NOT* the place to go to for help with mental illnesses!

[@klarity1111]

Amen! I suffered from severe anxiety and was told that it was because I felt guilty about my sins. But I was so straight-laced already!

[@ShannonGrover]

Klarity*11 Exactly! I didn't even have *time* for a boyfriend much less time to "commit a sexual sin." it was so stupid and damaging. He also spent an hour trying to see if I had secret lesbian feelings towards my best friend. Once he decided I actually hadn't done anything wrong, he said I needed to go on a mission so it would "cure me" of my depression. And I went, because you're supposed to never say no to your bishop. I'm sure you can guess how *that* turned out!

[@klarity1111]

It must have been horrible. Bishops and others tried hard to talk me into going on a mission, but I knew it would never work out-- though I was a believer then. I hope you didn't have to waste too much money on that mission.

[@Britbec]

@@ShannonGrover I'm so sorry you were invalidated and treated so poorly. Hope you've found help and healing since

[@h.r.9563]

I'm glad my bishop refused to let me explain I was experiencing PTSD from childhood trauma. He literally cut me off mid sentence and was like "let's start with three counseling sessions" and that counselor changed my life. His parting words were "Be selfish". It's been enormously helpful. I was hiding so much of myself to fit in at church

[@jabberw0cky13]

loved the video! Maya looks like such a genuine and nice person and you guys hit topics that I can definitely relate to. Can't wait for the next one!

[@ianharris3502]

Down With Dehlin would be a great name for a band

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

Ian Harris this comment section has been rife with great band names!

[@corymccorysoniii9957]

@@ZelphOntheShelf Time for Zelphapalooza (Shelfapalooza?)

[@h.r.9563]

Oh my gosh a mormon style exmo talent show. I would go.

[@mycurrentobsession81]

"I crunched the numbers..." Laughed out loud! 😁😂🤣

[@GrahamHettinger]

I love this! Maya seems so incredibly wise beyond her years.

[@kourt2469]

I grew up reading dr Seuss and my favorite book as a kid was called “there’s a wocket in my pocket” and there’s a line in there that basically says “there’s a Zelf up on the shelf.”’ I always thought that’s where you got the name haha.

[@klarity1111]

I read Dr. Seuss as a kid too. I knew I'd seen this "zelph on the shelf" expression from somewhere before...

[@youngpark6320]

Love the open conversation! Just popped up on my feed.

[@silverstone8494]

When you said you always felt like it had to be worse for you to call it depression, I felt that so much. I get hardcore depressed at least a couple times a month, and then between there's these weeks of okayness where I think I'm over it for good, and I'm having a hard time deciding whether to make an appointment to talk to someone because I feel like once the appointment comes around I won't have anything to talk about anymore. My bisexuality also plays a lot into the mood swings I think, and I sort of wonder if so many bisexual women are fraught with mental illnesses because of the nature of bisexuality, where there is uncertainty over whether you're gay or straight, and the "bi-cycle" of shifting from being more attracted to one gender over another for a while and then shifting, that might play into the uncertainty and ungroundedness, thus depression or anxiety or bipolar disorders.

[@Siobhangarver3]

This was incredible! Such genuine love and compassion radiate from each one of you.

[@acronen]

Watching this made me realize something. I'm an overprotective father too! I have similar rules for my daughter (16 soon). I won't let her go out with a boy till they have met me, and her phone charger is in my bedroom (I don't take it away, but it's effectively the same thing as taking it at night.) Hopefully it's not a bad thing, or too bad of a thing. To be fair with the overprotectiveness, it doesn't just come to boys. I've encouraged her to never meet alone with a bishop (she's never had a worthiness interview, or any ecclesiastical interview yet.) Told her that if they try to call her in, she can call me and I will go meet with them and she doesn't have to deal with it (background: Joint custody agreement, she isn't with me on weekends.) Also, my overprotectiveness overruled the cult indoctrination policies of her having to go to girl's camp. No phones were allowed at all, and I told the bishop and stake president she was taking hers and will have it on in case of either emergency, or if she just wants to contact me for any reason whatsoever at any time she chose. They fought me on this for a little while, and simply informing them that if they took her phone I would press charges for theft, and if they touched her to take the phone away I would press assault charges changed things quickly enough. The texts from her of "Ugh, now they are having us do this motherhood training thing. I'm 14, I don't want to think about being a mom right now, let alone train for it." were fun conversations. OH and the leaders asked her parents to write a letter for them to take for the girls to read about how much they loved them (a good idea) and their own personal testimony of Jesus Christ (lol, they didn't know I'm not a member.) So my daughter got a letter to read to them with a long detailed testimony to the God of Thunder himself, Thor. They didn't pressure her to go this summer oddly enough.

[@filminginportland1654]

acronen that’s awesome! Did she read that letter out loud?

[@acronen]

Not sure if it was with the leaders and the whole group or just the girls in her cabin. She just told me some of them thought it was really funny, and some were really offended.

[@lilith_speaks_out]

That's fantastic!

[@ShannonGrover]

AWESOME!! That made my day! My daughter hated camp so I never made her go and I told the camp leaders and YW leaders not to pressure her about it. They ignored me, of course, but that made it so I could get mad at them with impunity.

[@JeffreyQProductions]

Acronen, there's nothing wrong with asking to meet a guy she's gonna go out with.

[@robpaulson7992]

Wow, imagine that . . . when the MORMON Church excommunicates somebody they also lose his wife and children, and all future generations of the family.

[@user-hn1zb9rk4h]

good point. think they rebaptise every single one of them after they've been dead long enough? they baptize other dead people they would have excommunicated in life.

[@robpaulson7992]

Dead men pay no tithing . . .

[@user-hn1zb9rk4h]

i've heard things about mormons and genealogy, family trees and D.N.A. - blood lines - embroidered quilts that have encoded family secrets. the church obviously does eliminate bloodlines in the way of excommunication. intellectuals gotta go.

[@SteveSmith-os5bs]

I don’t think that the church really cares.

[@baileyneddo9559]

“pray to portland” 😂 that makes me so happy!!! i’m a portland person since birth and can tell i’d vibe with you guys 🖤 thank you for everything you’re doing, it truly is making the transition easier for my husband and I. making us feel understood & I can’t thank you enough.

[@Impossible-maker]

Thank you for sharing and being open about things the church shames for! You are all awesome!!!

[@jessilink2806]

I can relate with Maya so hard. I started taking Zoloft last October for anxiety and Adderall in January for combined type ADHD and it has all been really good for me. I remember crying when the doctor told me that she was prescribing the Zoloft to me, and she was trying to comfort me and asked my what was wrong and I just told her that I felt like it would mean that I was weak/giving up. It's crazy what stigmas we put on ourselves because of the shitty things that society has perpetuated about mental health. Oh, and I am also pansexual but didn't really think about it until my ex recommended that term to me when I was 19 and I was just like 'oh yeah, that makes sense, I totally feel that way', just so casual haha. I suppose having lesbian elder and younger sisters helped me be pretty nonchalant about my sexuality.

[@junetunes3797]

Man, I'm bummed. I must have lived in cache valley at the time of your art exhibit, and I had no idea it happened! I'm so sad to have missed it!! Love the idea though.

[@soccerducttape]

I FUCKING LOVE LACI GREEN. I had no idea she's an ex-mormon. Great video as usual! Love you all :)

[@Britbec]

Love this interview! With regards to the exmo appearance thing: we were still dedicated members when we moved to Utah. My husband had a "Peaky Blinders" haircut, a HUGE, long beard, my 11yo son had blonde curls past his shoulder blades, my 13yo daughter had waist length blue hair and I had a short, purple, undercut pixie. We walked into church the first Sunday here, and it was like the sound was suddenly muted in the room and heads were snapping around to look at us in confusion and horror. The next Sunday, total strangers started asking when my son was going to cut his hair so he could pass the sacrament. He didn't. Someone in the ward complained and I told the member of the Bishopric who was tasked with approaching the "crazy British heretic", that my son will wear his hair however he feels comfortable. My TBM FIL offered my daughter $100 to dye her hair back to blonde. That was the beginning of the end haha!! I love self expression through hair and clothes. You three are gorgeous :)

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

!!!!!!

[@jonjahr3403]

Reminds me of when my sister was a newborn baby my mom brought her in to church the first Sunday after she was born. My sister's hair stood straight up for weeks after she was born and some lady on the pew in front of us turned around and rudely said "That baby looks like an Orangutan"

[@emmagreene9654]

Man I want to hang out with y’all. Struggling byui student here haha

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

Ahhh, sorry to hear that! Reach out anytime on Twitter or wherever! We also do Google Hangouts on our Patreon each month if that’s something you’re interested in! GOOD LUCK 💜

[@NewNameNoah]

Ooooh, this looks like a good one. I’m gonna watch it later. 🤔

[@LV3GA]

I follow you on Twitter. Thanks for what you do. This channel is great. It's nice to see the support this ex-mo community has for each other. I'm a never-mo but I have friends who are in it hard. I hope they see the light one day. You all give me hope. Thank you.

[@filminginportland1654]

against anti-Mormons Lame. You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Go fuck yourself. Go after real criminals.

[@aldo8655]

@Teddygalbis LOL!!! "Against anti-Mormons" it's so funny, my KZbin channel will be named "Anti-against anti-Mormon" 🤣🤣 homeboy is deluted, he thinks anti-Mormons are backstabbers.

[@jennikooyman2079]

@against anti-Mormons you're a hateful person who sounds miserable. Seek God, he can bring peace to your heart.

[@health1568]

@against anti-Mormons warren jeffs doesnt hold a candle to early mormon polygamists

[@randomname4726]

'Banana Phone' is a favourite in our house, my husband and kids sing it all the time.

[@shannonfisher6872]

Thanks you so much for helping break the stigma of mental health issues!!! (And how religion can play a part )

[@filminginportland1654]

Millennials think they’re the first generation to be progressive and think about the environment and stuff, but before you guys there were Gen X’ers, and before that the boomers, and before that was the progressives in the early 20th century (women’s right to vote, y’all!) so many young generations have had progressive movements. But as they get older and lose a lot of their idealism, adjusting to real life, the next young generation takes the mantle. Soon you all will be focused on other, more pressing things and the next generation will take over. Then you’ll be old like us ha ha! :)

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

Filming In Portland millennials actually believe we're the only young people that have EVER existed.

[@jahrasta4907]

I was born a Millennial, but I identify myself as a Baby Boomer. Sometimes I switch to Gen X. I'm not epoch specific. Don't label or judge me.

[@TheNickhis]

G~r-X Truly profound.

[@PortasRex]

Ex mormon who moved to Portland here, it is as great as you hope it will be.

[@nedyahydarb]

Why didn't you ask her about how she felt about her exmormon home teachers/ministers??

[@ShannonGrover]

Oh yeah!! I had forgotten that Zelph had done that! HAHAHAHAH! I have to go watch that again!

[@abigailcovington6242]

So many feels on the mental health conversation. So relatable.

[@CassySoSassy]

She’s lovely. Great guest. 💖🌟

[@issabee7743]

Thank you, Sam, for verbalizing my internal voice's anxieties. Me: Hit's big internal pause button on going to the doctor because "you'll be on meds forever." Me looking at baby: Hit the play button, hit it now. The shrapnel of my anxiety and depression will not fall on my daughter.

[@mamahonk]

Im literally there, wth why did I not know about that exhibition, it couldntve been more than 2 years ago

[@unicorntamer2207]

I thought the name "Zelf on the Shelf" was like the story of Zelf broke your shelf. Did anyone else think that was the reason for the name?

[@kentthalman4459]

What is the possibility of the banana phone video being leaked?

[@heyporcelain]

I always thought that your name Zelph on the Shelf was a reference to the r/exmormon faith metaphor. As in Zelph was "weight on the shelf" before it broke.

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

heyporcelain yeah that’s why we loved the name so much!

[@joecook5689]

I can see the resemblance with john and maya. She seems really cool too.

[@zachc349]

21:14 - no, you absolutely should NOT have included heterosexual couples. If your professor/classmates want to see a heterosexual couple kissing, they can watch almost any movie, go to a dance, be a third wheel - hell, go to a park or a mall! Take a walk! Turn on the TV! Fuck, heterosexual couples kissing is """normal""" and we already see it everywhere... no one needs to be 'exposed' to that shit, it's forced in our faces CONSTANTLY. It wasn't a picture of a heterosexual couple kissing that got vandalized - it was specifically the gay couple kissing, and it was BECAUSE they were gay! Ffs..... Goddamn, I'm seriously side-eyeing your prof/class over here..... >.>

[@danielsykes7558]

I also love y'all's name because your shelf breaks too.

[@dodgerdave777channel]

On the subject of how the church treats psychology psych meds Etc I would have to say that as Samantha pointed out it does tend to show up the fact that the priesthood and the Holy Spirit just don't do a whole lot of healing effectively for anyone in that regard or any other regard so it kind of looks bad and really goes against LDS theology or any Christian theology where people should be able to be healed by people with the Holy Spirit or blessed with a gift of healing as Jesus promised to where the people supposedly but the fact is that the church pushes following those who appeared with authoritative titles like doctors lawyers presidents and politicians they love the mantle of authority and they Press upon us obedience and subservience to those who have authoritative titles including pill pushing psychiatrists. the church has its LDS Social Services including those of a psychological nature for those who are lacking the necessary Faith to be healed by the amazingly worthless priesthood

[@LV3GA]

Yeah, I have a friend who won't even take ibuprofen because he thinks he will get addicted. That's not a joke. I started taking anxiety and depression medication recently and I let him know, he seemed to not care. He was actually supportive. I know he doesn't think I'm crazy. I am not, but I can't imagine him ever taking that step if he needed it. It's a shame because I feel so much better in such a small amount of time. I hope to serve as an example to him and other LDS friends.

[@bossendenwoodconvict]

Good point. A few more commas needed.

[@AJ-ht3kf]

"I'll cuddle you when I feel like it". Sounds like me. I must be a cat.

[@ThesaurusToblerone]

idk, I've often found older people to be more kind, caring and willing to listen to, help, and include others than people my own age are (millennials). I mean, we do shit like ghosting people, for one...

[@stressfreepro6529]

all the best :)

[@alicruz4900]

Mormons being judgemental in Utah?!?!?! No way!!!!

[@soilone]

Just saying hello from Portland :)

[@whencecomestthou8624]

Oh my god I'm so so sorry you guys I didn't me to interrupt your recording session. me and katherine will schedule a better time for love making 🙊😶

[@StephRivera]

I thought it was Zelph on the shelf because you learn about the whole zelph fail and you put it on the proverbial "shelf" and continue believing. And then one day the shelf crashes and you have to come face-to-face with zelph again.

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

Stephanie Rivera you’re totally right! that’s why we instantly loved the name. we knew it could have a depth of meaning that exmormons would really appreciate ☺️

[@user-hn1zb9rk4h]

on sexuality and the church - whats the story of the man concerned about who the wife would be sealed to afterdeath when she had been married and widowed by several brothers? whats that answer that gets glazed over and denied? She wont be sealed to any of them because mating is for procreation in the physical realm and beyond this we are as angels and there is no use. our true selves are beyond that kind of gender identification and it ceases to serve the higher realms of fully integrated individuals (non-dual) on their way to becoming their own gods - or thats what mormonism actually teaches.

[@bsanders1]

Logan is a very unhappy place to live if you are not LDS. It's too bad the level of shunning and shaming is so awful there. My nephews, about the same age, did not "fit the mold" of Logan (even as LDS) and were shunned in like manner. Pretty sad place. :( Shame on Logan's shaming! LOL.

[@ericagreene1579]

Maya is gen z! And has huge gen z energy haha

[@51cheeseman]

Hi

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

howdy

[@jwjbros7926]

Don't forget to send $10,000 to this channel.

[@danielsykes7558]

I came to that! ^_^ @USU

[@filminginportland1654]

Pray to Portland?? Noooo! We don’t want _more_ people moving here! lol

[@ZelphOntheShelf]

Filming In Portland Portland is a state of mind

[@jahrasta4907]

Zelph accused me of hating gays. Forgot the focus of Zelph vids is to hate Mormons. Give me a second to get my hate straight. I'm actually not homophobic Tanner, I have tons of gay friends and most of my male co-workers have husbands. Conservative gays I guess (because they still believe in marriage and dress business casual).

[@tattooedwhitetrash]

Only homophobes say they have tons of gay friends...