How We're Making Our Kids More Anxious || Mayim Bialik

[@katherinewoodall158]

"Don't give them access to food you don't want them to eat" AMEN. I was raised with a mother obsessed over the fact that I was overweight, but she refused to adjust the environment around me to help me lose weight. Did that kind of tough love mentality make sense when I was a teen? Maybe! But not when I was 7 lol. From personal experience, I can say that it makes a lot more sense to just put healthy options in the house, and the weight resolves itself with much less anxiety

[@mangot589]

Yeah, huh? Talk is cheap. Just don’t bring it in the house. For heaven sake, don’t put it in the cupboard and give them a guilt trip. Just stop. Don’t bring soda, chips, blah, blah, blah.

[@craigpennington1251]

Your mom sounds exactly like my mother-in-law. Found out just recently that she's a paranoid bipolar schizophrenic. That explains it. Good luck.

[@PandoraStolen]

Same. All we had available was junk food but my mom would complain about my weight.

[@iluvcat]

My parents shame me for being overweight but then buys Cookies, Nutella, Cinnamon Rolls and Honey buns, I mean is it partially my fault for eating probably yea, but like if you don’t want me to be overweight why the fucking frick do you buy fucking junk like wtf

[@Alaya7]

on times of "mommy vlogs" and "what I bought for my newborn", your channel is a deep breath of relief!

[@andree824]

Alaya Dullius - Well said : )

[@farmfarmdorrie]

Ahhhh, yes.

[@babusinghsingh6298]

Aláya Dullius hi,firand,plz,kol,mi,7505563735,whatsap

[@mishandledgrace]

Agreed

[@chris.ackroyd]

Me: What could possibly go wrong? Anxiety: I'm glad you asked.

[@S1neWav_]

Chris Ackroyd relatable omg

[@ayeshaamir7846]

Chris Ackroyd true

[@ferretterrier7828]

Chris Ackroyd exactly

[@Lisab.5466]

Lol I can relate!

[@ruth9905]

This. So much of this.

[@SpiralBreeze]

Modeling is the biggest thing that I was always on my son's father about and still am. "He's going to do what he sees you do, not what you say." This was one of our most important tools when I taught preschool.

[@acethememelorde4377]

TovaShai YASS! The original Spyro's were my favorite games growing up

[@beestitches8121]

AceTheMemeLorde Spyro and Sonic are the only video games I play and I play them on my PSP while my family plays on the Switch and junk 😹 born in 89!

[@lisav6072]

So very true. I have been witness to, they may not adopt your behaviors etc. but as children grow they remember your behaviors and lessons and adopt them later in life. So know that they are definitely watching and learning from you even if it is not immediately evident.

[@conniecook8095]

Spiral Breeze You might want to take a look at your habit of nagging your child's father.

[@kimberlycolleen1494]

Yelling, pressuring the kid(s) to do things, parents fighting in front their kid(s), and letting your kid(s) over hear you talk negitivly about them or just complaining about something they did wrong can really spike anxiety and depression as well. Just a few things I remember making me anxious growing up. But i was a very anxious kid. I didn't exactly grow up with a big happy family and hugs and kisses and mommy and daddy getting along. So yeah lol.

[@strawberrybunny.2983]

Kimberly Colleen yeaaah my parents had no tact and would talk shit out of an ear shot of me and then play clueless

[@annetta5738]

I have the exact same family. And I was beaten by my mother as well. That's why I've anxiety too.

[@kimberlycolleen1494]

Annetta Waiz my mom was really abusive to me too. I forgive her because I love her but I'll never be able to forget. The trauma and damage it caused can never be fixed and I'll never get all those years back. I'll always have to look back at a childhood that was indescribably miserable. And that's the only childhood I'll ever get. It's not like I get a do over some day where I can become a kid again and have a chance at a better life. It just sucks....

[@kimberlycolleen1494]

Jellyfish Tears yeah, I experienced that often. And when they weren't doing that they were just saying it all right to my face. I'm more mentally fucked uo than I could ever explain now. Every couple weeks it seems like I continually realise that either I'm getting more fucked up or I just didn't see how fucked up I really was and I think it can't get worse but it always does. Not many people get it and believe me about what's going on in my head. Hell I can barely believe it. I'm not positive that I wasn't just born with whatever is wrong with me, but I am positive that if I hadn't gone through that I'd be much much less fucked up than I am now.

[@Nora-ws5hu]

Yes and reminding them every moment what they do wrong can literally lead them have a dysmorphic view of themselves , lead them to feeling a loss of identity and worth and ultimately can lead to mental health issues and suicide

[@caitlinoleary8189]

With the food topic, I lost it at my childcare center when they said my daughter isn’t getting enough at home because she snacks all day, instead of eating 3 big meals. She’s 2. She burns a lot of energy. I’ve made people think. I don’t eat 3 big meals, I snack all day. I worried and made her get blood tests.. she’s perfectly healthy. I swear other parents make us feel like crappy parents. I refuse to compare, and just care.

[@chriskeith1980]

Caitlin O'Leary it’s unusual for a 2 year old to get all their calories in 3 big meals when their stomaches are sooo small.

[@magicstar8758]

They were right to bring it up with you. It's their job. You should be grateful that they tried to help, even if they were wrong. :)

[@slvrangel22]

We live in a world of trends. And we live in a world that doesn't fully understand what the word " average" actually means. We also want to find problems that aren't there.. when my son was about 5 someone tried to pull the ADD card... I'm like no... he is a kid... he has energy and it will show when he's excited about something. I also knew if you tell him to sit down he will sit down and stay seated. He sat through the entire movie of Finding Nemo before he was 1. A kid who can sit through entire movies or play video games for hours... does not have ADD. It's just people looking for stuff and focused on trends.

[@thequickbrownfoxjumpedover9750]

@@slvrangel22 I'm not saying he has ADD but hyperfocus is part of it.

[@gabriellevalentino7319]

This is so true. The nutritionalist made me feel terrible cause my son is skinny. Like extra skinny. Both me and my brother are the same way. He eats A LOT. My mom actually got dcf called on her causemy brother was skinny and constantly hungry so she must be starving him. My mom told them i was the same way and it was just genetic.(My mom gave free access to the fridge we could eat whatever....if she bought mom treats she kept those in her room so anything in the kitchen was freegame. I'm 25 and when i go visit still raid her fridge 😂) they had my brother try so many diets finally my mom tried all full fat foods and fast food. Still gained very little weight. Finally chalked up genetics...

[@Sparkle112ify]

Even though I'm only 15, I can relate to everything you're saying. From parents hounding you about grades and trying to be the best in grades, sports, or any extracurricular to teachers wanting you to always do well on their tests, forgetting that you have other classes, anxiety is just being packed onto kids today. Tests are always the worst for me, as I feel as though I need to get a good grade, and it a lot of the time results in me starting to cry. If anyone has any tips for coping or otherwise helping teachers and adults reduce the anxiety in kids, feel free to respond! Thanks :)

[@FiddeliK]

I can relate to what you are feeling, I felt the same way when I was your age (I’m 27 now). I took a gap year after high school to try to figure out what I wanted to do, I felt like I had heard so many comments about what I must want because of my grades or test results. I didn’t know what I wanted. When I started university I went in with an attitude of wanting to pass the courses, to stop reaching for the highest grade all the time. But the environment was not very different and there will always be people who want to compare grades and test results. I’m happy to have left that life behind, I try to never bring my work home with me, I try telling myself that I work to live and not the other way around. My best advice that has helped me the most is taking long walks. An hour or more usually calms me down enough. Test results don’t define you :)

[@harmonybrowndemelo3155]

Hayley W. My parents are the complete opposite. Neither went to post secondary, so they know I understand those types of consequences. Despite their lack of hounding, I suffer from anxiety with tests. I don't even always realize it either. I always say "I'm gonna fail this." even when I know I won't. I sometimes just walk into the class, do the test, check it over, and get a terrible mark. Yet I don't feel anxious. So I do tests in another room (you can ask your teacher prior to the test or talk to guidance). And even though it doesn't feel different, my marks go up. I think going to a different room helps relax you because you aren't in the typical test environment. So the brain doesn't associate that space with tests, thus meaning it doesn't associate that space with anxiousness.

[@dagnoliablossom1928]

I think what Mayim said about physical activity being good for relieving anxiety should not be discounted. Even rats in cages have less cortisol (stress hormone) with regular exercise.

[@desimon2]

I know that pressure can really suck, and I'm sure you really want to tell them all to take a running jump but please remember adults are human too. We make mistakes and are often just as confused as you are about what is happening in the world the only difference is we feel like we are expected to have the answers. Just know that often the pressure usually comes from a place of love and wanting you to have all the best opportunities in life. Also, remember it is your life and your journey and there is more than one path to your destination. Explore, learn and be willing to try new things and you will be on the road to what you want. Good luck :-)

[@elizabethrohrer9196]

I'm in highschool as well and am in the exact same boat. Although it's very hard for me I find that taking regular breaks and using proper time management skills can help. Along with regular reminders to myself that my grades do not define me as a person and whatnot. Also exercise sometimes helps as well. Hope at least one of these helps you..

[@alisatibbetts2705]

As a public middle school teacher, I think about this topic a lot. I like asking my students questions. I like hearing their points of view and having them articulate their understanding, and have them take ownership of their learning. I like hearing how their thinking works, and what they did to come to an answer. At the same time, this can leave some students extremely anxious. I can tell my students "mistakes mean you're learning!! I don't expect you to be right on the first try!!" (and my personal favorite, "if you already knew this, I wouldn't have a job"), but no student wants to openly be wrong. They want me and their peers to like them, to think of them as smart, and to say the right thing. That's why I don't grade on participation. I praise students that engage in the conversation, and if I see students not showing mental engagement I'll move closer to them or remind the whole class to stay on task. But, I refuse to give a student that understands the content and that are doing what they need to do to learn a bad grade because they don't raise their hand at least twice every class.

[@sugarcandy243]

Alisa Tibbetts You are a better teacher than many I've met in my life. Thank you for all the hard work you put in! 👍👌

[@Freenow-wo7nr]

Gotta love them teachers!!!

[@summerrose4286]

Thank you. I wish my son's teachers had done this. He is shy and intelligent; this embarrassed him.

[@StainedglassWings]

I've delt with severe anxiety my entire life and I really love this list. I would also add onto the last one not to pressure children into feeling like a specific event is fun. By saying isn't "this so much fun?!" Or "aren't you having a great time?!" you can create anxiety and guilt if in fact they aren't having a great time. I love your perspective as both a parent and someone that deals with anxieties, the U.S. for sharing this!

[@krisw5318]

I totally agree. Also, requiring them to participate in activities the adult thinks is fun - even if the child doesn't. My ex has done this with my son (to the extent that he required my son to accompany him on a roller coaster, even though my son is afraid of heights and does not like rides in general); for several years after he started, my son responded to comments about "fun" by yelling "Fun is not important!" - and promptly losing interest in whatever activity he had previously been enjoying.

[@StainedglassWings]

Kristin West wow that's anxiety inducing for many reasons... I'm sorry your son is dealing with that.

[@SpecialOne120]

"We all need to back off this notion that kids need to Constantly be taught things!" Oh my soul, thank you!! I couldn't agree more!!

[@MrsMorganWoodham]

I actually never thought about the food thing but it makes complete sense!! As an adult I feel like I am OBSESSED with food..did I eat enough? Too much? The right kind? Does this digest well? I don't want to pass that on to my son....Another note, I told my husband I don't want us to speak poorly about ourselves or our bodies anymore in front of our son...he's 6 and I can just imagine the damage all of that negative self talk would do.

[@lottidiezweite]

And the daily "what did you have for lunch today? why didn't you eat all your sandwiches?" after school! God, why did we never realise this is stupid?

[@fionaoneill6342]

Actually it sounds like your thoughtful and thinking things through. Please don't label your behavior as sick or theorize that being a good parent making sure your child eats is some how the wrong thing todo or going to make them sick. It is very important to make sure your child eats, Nagging about , yeah thats no good, but don't misinterpret this, YOU need to keep doing what your doing, it sounds like your doing great. Don't buy into this whole every bodies sick thing, its just not true. Make sure you're needs are met(food, shelter,love,social,health,etc) are met and keep paying attention as you are and love your child as you are and everything will work out fine, labeling will not.

[@cakiepop2038]

Fiona Yeah, but a lot of the time when kids don’t eat all of their food, it’s cus they weren’t hungry. When I was a kid, my mom would have me eat all my food because I was “so skinny” and I would eat until I felt sick. I still do it today and I’ll feel bored or anxious when I’m not eating. Even if I feel Ill due to eating too much. And I’m still “so skinny,”

[@hotdrippyglass]

I once heard the phrase attributed to one of more famous orchestra composers that went; " The silence between the notes is more important than the whole orchestra. Otherwise all is cacophony".

[@robinmoore7202]

I don’t even have children but I enjoyed this just the same ☺️

[@magsshandy4625]

Robin Moore same but I do a lot of babysitting and this will really help me be a better nanny

[@splendidcakes]

It can help you "parent" yourself. We need to be kind to ourselves 💞

[@AM-re2bc]

Random comment but I really like the flow of your name-if it is your real name 😏

[@sierrachantell]

Thank you for saying that we don't have to have commentary 24/7 for our little ones. I have a lot of anxiety because people like to say that babies need to be constantly stimulated. I love watching my baby play on his own, and see how he's navigates the world. I still interact with him, obviously, but I'll stop worrying about if I've said enough to him in a days time!

[@paulinefollett3099]

It is not easy living with anxiety. I have found that doing something you enjoy helps. I have taken up photography and have found that it really clears my mind.

[@Just.Jen_80]

It is very important to find joy in our everyday lives to help with anxiety.

[@akshatyadav1115]

Hey ! Me too, Photography !

[@stormboss57]

As someone who is been disabled by an anxiety disorder it is good to hear your point of view.

[@beataball3156]

Holy Crow! You have just made me feel much less anxious about the way I raised my kids! I was also a modeler and enjoyed quiet (actually no sound) time with my kids. Since my daughter has always had higher anxiety levels than my boys, I have been much more conscious about not adding to it. Thanks for your openness about these parenting issues!

[@aristasalt6067]

the amount of pressure my mum unknowingly placed on me about “always finishing my plate of food” led me to bulimic tendencies, which ended in hospitalization. i love her so much, and know that she didn’t foresee this as an outcome. her behavior since then about food has changed drastically around me. i feel less pressure to eat and eat, which leads to less guilt after. i’m getting in tune with my body. and now i know how to approach parenting my future children so the same thing won’t happen to them

[@hannahswan1193]

I have anxiety. Thanks for raising awareness Mayim.

[@maxmolasses1314]

I'm sixteen and I'm anxious about EVERYTHING. It's not even because of my mom, she doesn't do any of the stuff on this list except food and manners. It's school that's guilty. Always, always, always putting the more "accomplished students" in the spotlight and making others feel awful for not being exactly like them. They want us to see the sporty people and the people with good grades. They don't want us to see the artists, the writers or the musicians. Now, other people's accomplishments don't bother me as much as they used to and they never bothered me too much but I see the anxiety in other students. I can't help my anxiety, it's more of a clinical thing so I get angry and frustrated when I see my teachers and headmistress causing my friends to be anxious when they don't have to be! My friends are constantly and desperately trying to catch up to the spotlight students and the spotlight students are trying to live up to the expectations their teachers have of them. It's truly awful.

[@rissjohnson3308]

Max Molasses As a seventeen year old “spotlight student,” I can assure you that I don’t think I’m accomplished. In fact, I’ve been accepted into a few honors societies but I still think I’m the dumbest of the dumb and I could list a thousand reasons why. I’m terrible at math but great at writing, and in this STEM centered world, that means I’m never going to make it or be “successful.” And those teacher expectations you mentioned really suck, because anxiety makes me feel like an imposter in my own classes

[@theropesofrenovation]

Well said.

[@yvettecardenas3820]

School system needs a huge overhaul. Kids need to protest nationwide.

[@pepper70788]

I'm a exclusive breastfeeding mom (mainly because mixing formula and cleaning bottles tweaked my anxiety) but I had a really easy time with getting my child to gain weight. He's 3.5 months and 17 lbs. People are already telling me that this is a bad thing - people will expect more from him because he's bigger. It's driving me nuts and making me sad that my child is being judged already.

[@dr224]

Samantha Anne I weighed 11.2 pounds...when I was BORN.

[@fionaoneill6342]

Cancel out those negative tunes / noise.... You are doing right! You know it, I know it. Keep at it and ignore these critical a-holes ok? Let em judge, you do what you feel is right and it will all work out.

[@darinaangelova2882]

Samantha Anne Wow... this is insane... Idiots.

[@LAVirgo67]

There is so much around weight & babies. I tell moms that unless they're putting a super-sized McDonalds meal into a blender & feeding it to the baby, that they don't need to worry about weight gain. Feed on demand, both breast & formula. Babies know when to stop.

[@marissarentschlercomedy]

Dear Mayim, A few months ago when I found out you were on KZbin, I was ecstatic, I thought, my favorite actress is willing to break the fourth wall and speak profoundly with me (meaning me and the rest of the world). Since then I have not been let down by a single one of your videos as I find each and every one to be informative and refreshing, allowing me to consider things about our world that I had never thought of before and take on new perspectives about things that I didn't previously understand or didn't care about. I appreciate how you never try to force an opinion on your viewers (something I find far to often amongst vloggers today) and often I find myself cracking up courtesy of your great sense of humor. Mayim, you are a great inspiration to me, a young woman also struggles with anxiety (heck I'm not even 17 and I already have gray hairs, and not the genetic kind), you and your videos have always made me feel better in moments when I think I am losing my mind or am feeling down. Thank you so much for being authentic and for authentically and positively contributing to the world. Sincerely, Marissa

[@valledelcarmenchiang3783]

You are such an inspiration Mayim. Thank you so much for your videos, your wonderful ideas and for being so true to yourself. My best wishes ❤️

[@hotdrippyglass]

And for sharing your inner self and your life with us while we learn to navigate this minefield called life. You are making a difference. # Be The Change You Want To See In The World

[@amybradley216]

I saw a woman forcing her crying child to learn to go up and down steps yesterday at the park. The child looked to be 12-14 months old, and clearly was distressed. I get that the parent was trying to make her child the most capable, but it was hard to watch and very anxiety-provoking for me, other parents and the child. I feel like that kind of behavior is driven by parents comparing children (walk by 12 months, how many words does your baby say, etc). I really appreciate this video. Great information!

[@pacochihuahua77]

This is actually very helpful information for me. I feel really strong anxiety when I have to say sorry or thank you. I always thought it was because I was forced to as a child. It feels embarrassing to me. Like the other person thinks I'm saying it because I HAVE to say it, not because I mean it. I find it hard to say those things without stuttering or saying it through text.

[@ganasde65]

I always had terrible social anxiety. Sometimes I wouldn't say thank you because I'd be so nervous, especially when ordering food at a restaurant. People need to stop equating manners with being a good person. Body language and tone of voice say way more than a please or a thank you. People say "please" with a rude tone all the time

[@pacochihuahua77]

Also my SO is kind of perpetuating it in my life. We'll go out to dinner with his dad and dad will pay and I'll say thank you, and my SO will be like, say thank you. And he'll make me say it 7 times. He does it because he KNOWS it makes me uncomfortable.

[@Nakia11798]

Same for me. I HATE apologizing because of the amount I was forced to do it. I had one particularly painful experience of being forced to telephone a girl(I was already afraid of phone calls at that point) that was picking on me to apologizing for throwing a toddler chair in her direction... I was 7. It was an honest mistake and I would’ve apologized to her the next time I saw her, but being forced to just made me want to never apologize to people again if they hurt me at all.

[@Nakia11798]

pacochihuahua77 That’s very cruel of them. They shouldn’t force you to do that. You know how to say thank you and you’ll say it when you feel comfortable.

[@stacimarie3]

pacochihuahua77 Umm, not to be rude but why on earth would someone who cares about you do something like that? There's no way I'd stick around after that control freak bs.

[@jane5842]

this makes so much sense! as a teenager, i find it really reassuring to know that an adult/parent out there gets it instead of assuming 'but this is the way parenting has always been done'

[@misd6421]

A lot of things I have never thought about! Thank you so much!! I know I get anxious about saying thank you all the time. My father used to get after me if I didn’t say thank you quick enough, always reminding me to say thank you right away so people know that I’m thankful. I now know why I get anxious about it and sometimes over compensate and say thank you multiple times to ensure that I actually say thank you and that I know that they hear it.

[@DevinMNox]

The “please” and “thank you” thing! Thank you so much for putting that out there, I grew up with parents who HOUNDED me about always being polite and who treated me horribly if I ever slipped up. To this day I’m often afraid to talk, period, for fear of saying the wrong thing. The way you teach your children about politeness is so much better. You shouldn’t be criticised for it.

[@in_lovewith_the_universe9965]

For someone with anxiety and who is studying pedagogy, THIS video opened my eyes like nothing else. Thank you again dear Mayim for being so open about subjects that you almost never hear about. Thank you ♡

[@3_up_moon]

in_love with_the_universe Are you working on a degree for education in ESL?

[@SenhorTudo]

YES! You have hit the nail squarely on the head here, Mayim. I grew up in a different era: the post-war years. There was much more open space, fewer people and far less "control" by neurotic parents. Our punishment for wrong-doing was harsh and painful, but it had no adverse effects on us. We were tough and adventurous. If you fell off your bike and scraped knees, hands and elbows, nobody comforted you: you were expected to get up and climb back on. If you missed a nail with a hammer and banged your thumb while building a soap box cart, Dad would ask: "Now what the devil did you do THAT for?" Our adventures would involve sprained ankles and wrists - some kids even broke bones - but it was all in the game of learning. Mothers did not nag their kids. If we didn't eat all our food at one meal, we'd get it for the next one. In those days "children were to be seen and not heard": we had very little voice and would most certainly not DARE to back-chat ANY adult. Bratty behaviour was dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. The result was that we were courteous, kind to others, we respected authority and were generally well-behaved. We were not fearful: in fact, we were fearless, inquisitive and courageous. We'd help little old ladies to cross busy streets, ALWAYS offered our seats to ladies (girls of our own age were not considered "ladies", but we treated them with care, nevertheless). Our parents were harsh, yet loving but we were expected to find our own ways for the most part. Our mothers did not constantly nag us and our dads taught us practical arts and crafts and some of us boys learned to cook. We had no electronic toys back then and when we wanted to play, we walked out the front door. I preferred to curl up with a good book, as I was not very athletic or physical. We had no TIME to develop neuroses, anxieties and depression: there was too much to do and so much to learn!

[@elenav2661]

Total anxiety lady here. You hit the nail on the head again. Every day I am consciously making sure I do not pass on unnecessary anxiety to my kids.

[@amandahead579]

Being a mom of 2 special needs kids I love that you want to include special needs kids with “normal” kids! I appreciate that!! Thank you!!!

[@siegeguy3903]

Hi, my name's connor and I'm 16. I would really love if you made a anxiety video on high school. Personally I failed 4 classes due to my anxiety. I thought I was just lazy (which I am) and that's why my grades in highschool were so bad. But after seeking professional help and finally breaking down my stupid "teenage attitude" to my mom I managed turn things around. I droped down to aplied instead of academic and started getting 90s! I got my motorcycle license and a ride so I could get to school and skip the hour long buss ride (I would have to wait a year before my car license). I understand that I'm really lucky to have all of these resources to my advantage, but that doesn't mean that you cant talk to someone. People care, talk to me if you have to. You are not alone!

[@auroraeve3327]

Im 15 and i would absolutely love a video on this topic!

[@sophiejones7727]

go you! glad to hear you turned things around! you do you, and don't let anyone else say what you should be doing.

[@Tasumi_Ashiru]

As someone with anxiety (abused by ex, witnessed a suicide...) I can say how I was raised had a lot to do with my eating disorder and anxiety. Thank you so much for the videos and encouraging those of us who left college to return and complete. I have almost completed my master's degree in forensic psychology and I will be going for my PhD as well. Thank you again for showing us women what grace and raising our children without smothering them is all about. Much respect!!

[@fayebrown88]

I love how you are doing these videos about common issues that affect all of us. Using that Neuroscience for the enjoyment and education for all!

[@austinholmes8572]

This!!!! Every single one of these is spot on!! You can ALWAYS tell which kids' parents told them they were the best at everything. I see it all the time.

[@nascarbarbie]

Mayim, I love how honest you are----I agree about the food issue. I believe it comes from generations ago and thusly, passed down, when times were so hard and wasting food was practically a sin! And it is also as a means of control ("If you don't finish your supper, you won't get dessert!)----not just creating anxiety but also contributing to possible future unhealthy habits with food. We are all products of our environment but it's a good thing to be self-aware and never too late to change. 💕

[@yvettecardenas3820]

Love that: be self aware and never too late to change.

[@EmmyTheFox]

I'm 26 y/o and I have social anxiety, when I was a kid my parents used to constantly push me into social interaction without knowing I was an introvert. Thank you for talking about this.

[@thevapinvader111]

Thank you for this video I my self have aspergers and autism and depression and social problems and for someone to raise these things is amazing helping people understand

[@chrissymonds1845]

I also have Asperger Syndrome I don't suffer from the depression but I have the anxiety and some of the OCD traits but this makes so much sense to me

[@ampz1466]

My brother has Aspergers. The hardest part is seeing how much he fights it and struggles to do things I find easy and seeing how others judge him for what he can't do... and the judging is NOT helping. Do you guys have any advice for me on how to help him? I want to help him live his life but I don't know when to push him to do go out/confront things and when to do it for him. Sorry about asking this, I'm just hoping for help.

[@thevapinvader111]

Ampz14 honestly just let your brother do him let him be himself never mind what others think it gets easier as time goes on and he will find ways of coping and managing I would say music is my best friend noise cancelling head phones bad day I play music good say I try to interact a little each day I'm open to help in any way I can I have my own yo utube channel so we can make it we can get through things together as a community email me any time [e-mail]

[@MelB868]

I have Aspergers too

[@thevapinvader111]

Melanie Barksdale there is a community out there for us for support and friendship

[@linacepelina]

Overloading kids schedules is another good way to increase anxiety. Rushing from school to piano lessons, to swimming, and then gymnastics 3 times a week, then drama, singing... You get the idea. When kids don’t have time to just BE. When they are on 40-50 hr week when you add up school and extra-curricular activities.

[@Haesslicherblaubarsch]

Mayim, I truely admire you. I dream of a world with more people like you, smart, kind, reflected and critical, but with a good heart and a good intention, and I aspire to be like this

[@angelatillman4323]

Thank you for sharing. I got really tired of people telling me I was bad parent, or I should do it this way or that way. All kids are different and require different things. It made being a parent very hard.

[@nailblondy]

Thank you so much for this video. In my husbands family there is a lot of anxiety. Now we are expecting a baby this year & your video is realy eye opening as of what kind of parent I want (hope) to become. Thank you !!

[@nailblondy]

*really*

[@dinkdink_dink_dink2997]

Something I wish someone would have told me when I had my first kid 5 years ago was to trust myself when it came to caring for my baby. I was really caught up in not holding my baby too much because I didn't want him to be spoiled because that's what I was told and now I regret not holding him because I think it caused us both a lot of unnecessary stress I should have listened to my gut and held him when he needed it. Trust your gut find a good pediatrician for when you have questions if you don't like your doctor it's fine to find a new one and take care of yourself!

[@emmie297]

Good luck! I'm no where near having kids, but I grew up as an anxious and depressed child and I still have anxiety and depression. It's awesome to hear other people want to and will make an effort with they're children's mental health and pretty much just treat them as humans

[@MsGinger849]

I was a worried child and I gave that to my son. He is now an adult and has a harder time than I ever did. Thank you for the video.

[@melissah9004]

Loved your insight on constant narration!! Totally agree that it's okay to be quiet and there is a lot to learn about each other and to teach each other in quiet reflective moments.

[@BrokenTourniquet]

Preach! As someone who grew up as an anxious kid into a neurotic mess of an adult, I can confirm that the behaviors discussed in this video can cause, or at the very least exacerbate, anxiety. We definitely need more discussions like this one where the focus is on the child's emotional needs, a facet of parenting that is too often ignored or outright rejected. It's always reassuring to hear celebrities using their platform to spread encouragement and support about stigmatized issues, so thank you for sharing.

[@SoundYarnAndFibre]

I have an anxiety disorder and it is so hard to live with. My daughter is showing signs as well now. It runs in my family (my siblings, my husband, my dad, his dad, etc). This was a great video, thank you for making and sharing it. :-)

[@JennHeg]

Omg yes to the constant narration!! Not only because it’s anxiety inducing to explain everything about the sky to your kids for you and for them; but also because it assumes you know everything and what they observe has no value. There is a reason a popular goal for people is to view the world “through the eyes of a child” so let them view the world! Then if they have questions you can fill in the blanks.

[@Labyriiiinth]

can i be one of your child? lol but srsly i want to experience you being my mother, bc you are such a great mom! a great example and a role model to all moms out there!! i love you!!

[@Labyriiiinth]

Belle i don't have a problem with it.. its her way of parenting but that's not the reason why i wanted her to be my mom...

[@shoshanakent3645]

My 16 year old daughter has anxiety that disables her at times. She is wonderful, caring, talented, super intelligent, brave and beautiful inside and out. This is what I choose to focus on. Your videos have been very helpful to me, Mayim. Your down-to-earth no nonsense approach makes sense to me and, of course, you are smart and funny so I enjoy watching your videos. We live in Israel,where the security situation does not help feelings of anxiety, but it is a great country with wonderful people and services and I wouldn't have it any other way. My daughter is in a regular government school with a special small class (under 10 kids) for kids with emotional challenges. There is no extra cost for this class.

[@JudithSamp]

I just finished my bachelors thesis in neuroscience on social anxiety disorder and vasopressin in rats, can I get a high five? 🍒😁

[@Feirin332]

Poor rats

[@babyboi8999]

👋

[@soskika419]

Congrats!

[@mangot589]

If you need validation, sure!

[@foreverbangtan7534]

@@mangot589 seriously 🙃

[@nancyg323]

The more I work on my anxiety, the more peaceful my inner state is, the less I see symptoms of residual anxiety in my children. Anxiety is rough, tough, hard, awful but I've decided to see it as a gift. It forces me to be more aware of my inner state and I can reach my kids to be self aware, I hope, without being anxious. My sensitivity and anxiety are linked, but as I learn to better respect my limits, hopefully I'm getting my kids to respect themselves. Thanks for this video!

[@janicekrol8320]

Did anyone else pick up that she touches things 3 times? "Knock knock knock Amy". 🤣🤣🤣 The only manners I taught my kids was to treat people how you want to be treated. I never pushed please and thank yous. They leaned from example and treated people how they wanted to be treated. My anxiety was so bad I became agoraphobic and had to work from home. Im slowly learning to deal with it and most days can now leave home to go to the grocery store, post office, etc 🙂

[@janicekrol8320]

A_Little_Me Wow! Good for you! It's amazing how far you've come! I've slowly getting better with the agoraphobia. I'm learning to purposely throw myself in situations where I know I'm not comfortable in to go through the emotions of anxiety and panic attacks to let my brain and body know that nothing bad will happen. I get super nervous and cry knowing I have to do these episodes but I'm trying to get over all this with medication. I meditate, exercise, and eat a whole food vegan diet. Good things are happening :)

[@markreamer5113]

Holy Cow! I grew up in an almost yelling and screaming family and an physically abuse school experience, so needless to say I was always anxious and so self conscious. I was so afraid to say and do anything always wondering if I was doing the right thing.

[@elgubero]

Whats In My Life 2017 Please and Thank Yous should have been taught.

[@Umbrellaoflove]

You are an inspiration to the younger and older viewers!! I raised my children the way you approached your own children’s lives. My children are now young adults and are loving, polite people. They are two separate individuals. One had physical and neurological challenges, but I only identified it for the annual IPRC meeting placements, as well as for the purpose of IEP reviews. This identification was used for the purpose of receiving many needed accommodations throughout my child’s education. Unfortunately, my ex would constantly undermine my raising of our children by negating everything I did. However, I did separate from him and continually mirror imaged the character and morals that I wanted to instill in them. It also gave them the tools to navigate through the world we live in today. Thank you so much for sharing as I also suffer. from anxiety and post trauma distress syndrome (PTDS). Due to long term of abuse, beginning from childhood, all the way to adulthood❣️🇨🇦

[@kiza4178]

Thank you. I have loved your methods of coping. Please keep making it normal, to provide us the real honesty we need.

[@myanichols3446]

Thank you very much for this. Parenting is hard, parenting with anxiety/OCD is harder, parenting without bestowing your anxiety on your children feels impossible. This helped me feel less alone in it and know that even doing small things could help.

[@wickedest-witch]

Parents - and adults in general - REALLY need to think how they speak about food and weight in front of children. I understand that everyone has insecurities and likes to discuss them, however we can absolutely decide that those subjects are not child-appropriate, just like many others. You don't need to talk extensively about your diet with/around children (really, all you need to do is maybe say "mommy/daddy is going to be eating different food from you for a while" or something IF a diet involves having separate meals). Don't disparage your (or other peoples') body around your children; their reaction WILL be to think about their own bodies and wonder if the same applies to them. Don't talk about food as if it is evil around them. Children don't need to hear that sort of thing. When I was eight, my friend got a pretty bad stomach bug for a few days & lost some weight. She told me she had lost weight while she was sick; I felt jealous. As an eight year old child, I felt jealous of my friend for losing weight because she was sick. This wasn't the sort of feeling that just came from nowhere, I had been taught to see weight loss as a positive side of illness; my whole life I had heard my mother and my grandma talk about that exact thing. There's so many topics we decide children aren't old enough to handle - we can absolutely make weight and dieting one of them. Society at large already teaches children to have an unhealthy relationship to do, and that isn't something we can easily change on an individual level - but we CAN make the decision not to personally contribute to those messages.

[@maddie9303]

This randomly popped up on me feed, and I am very glad it did! As an extremely anxious college student who grew up as an extremely anxious child, I definitely second everything you said. I don't have kids, but, from looking back on my childhood and talking to anxious friends, the best advice I could give to parents is to treat your kids like people. Just because they're tiny and need some extra help doesn't mean that they don't have valid feelings and opinions. Allow them to be upset or excited about things and talk to them about it, even if you don't understand why they feel that way. Allow then to make mistakes and teach them to learn from them. Allow them to have interests that are diffrent from your own, and encourage then to do the things they enjoy. And make sure that you yourself are setting a good example. If you want your kids to be honest, be honest with them. If you want them to treat others with respect, respect your kids. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents on the topic.

[@99katwoman]

I don't have kids but this is so interesting

[@LittlefootLockpicking]

I love that you have unpopular or potentially offensive opinions that you post on a public forum and don't care that the backlash could damage your career. Very bold and noble.

[@itsMirandaGarcia]

Such a wonderful video with so many eye opening thoughts.

[@pumpkinhead3594]

I'm 16. I've suffered from anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, anger issues, and OCD (and mother issues) for years now. I can't go to school anymore. I go to therapy, take medicine, and have constant depression swings and suffer from extreme anxiety which triggers my suicidal thoughts. All of these things were a result of mg mom's behavior and choice of words. Your video really helped. Thank you. I love you like a mother Mayim

[@fatcatpaulanne4800]

You neglected to mention one that bugs me; parents who are constantly asking their kids "what color is this?" " what number is this?" "What does that say?" The constant quizzing! It may just be worse in the homeschooling community. I don't know.

[@krisw5318]

Maybe it depends on the homeschooling community. I homeschool my son, and I don't quiz him (though I do ask questions when I don't know the answer and think he might (such as asking "what does this say" when I can't read his writing, or asking questions about Dungeons and Dragons or Pokemon; he knows a lot more about both than I do!)). I've rarely heard other homeschooling parents quiz their kids. Mostly, it's (non-homeschooling) parents and grandparents of infants and toddlers I hear doing that (they seem to enjoy asking the child "can you say [whatever the word is]).

[@MelB868]

I think Dungeons and Dragons are evil and shouldn't be played.

[@Nakia11798]

I try not to quiz my nephews much, unless I know they’re having fun with it. For example, the older one LOVES his grandfather, who works monthly shifts. So every second month when poppy goes to work, he asks to make a calendar of days until poppy gets home, and excitedly asks which number to cross off every morning.

[@Nakia11798]

Melanie Barksdale Get out of the Stone Age Melanie. It’s no different than playing make-believe on the school playground, pretending to be pirates, astronauts, ninjas, etc. DND is just a roleplaying game with a plot line. Nothing evil about it, unless you also think playing pretend is evil?

[@erynlasgalen1949]

@@MelB868 D&D is a gateway game to full nerdery and Dorito abuse. Seriously, it's just a game of imagination. My son's gaming group began in high school, and he and his friends still get together to play it almost twenty years later. It is harmless fun.

[@emmacarr7063]

This is very good to hear. I have anxiety and now my 2 year old is suffering from anxiety which has caused a learning set back. It’s very hard to keep my anxiety at bay when he is struggling and going through all the appointments and discussions that must cause him even more anxiety. It’s lovely to see more people starting to address the issue.

[@angela-angela-ange6266]

I have anxiety too. But it’s kind of weird and hard to understand, even for me. So, I get rly anxious when ppl (especially my friends) aren’t straight forward with me. Bc I’m not very good at reading facial cues, I carefully listen and understand their tone of voice. What I mean by this is, if a friend says, “Yeah, it looks great.” Judging by their tone, I then asume that they r lying to me to protect my feelings, making me feel like I did a horrible job, forcing me to start over. So I do a lot of unnecessary work bc I’m anxious. Luckily therapy is there for me😅

[@nicoleguacamole867]

I feel this way a lot. I have a hard time understanding people, I don’t know if they are “playing games”, trying to make me feel better, just trying to be nice or are any number of other things. I’m in therapy too, right now I am just trying to take everyone at face value so that I can stress out a little less. The other thing my therapist said is to remember that every interaction is only 50% your own.

[@rhaynarodrigues1150]

i have anxiety,and dont wish it for anyone,im glad youre openning eyes...

[@nictedeleon9980]

yay for all, except #4 narrating is very helpful for kids with speech delay.

[@Atropabelopa]

Was wondering if someone else would push back on #4. I have a child with speech delay. Tested when she was 18 months old. One of the first things the therapist told me was how I needed to talk to my kid more specifically narrating their actions so that they would hear the word associated with what they were doing. I started doing that among other things and her skills improved drastically. I'm sure there are those that talk too much but saying you shouldn't narrate to a baby/toddler who is just starting to learn language because it will promote anxiety is a bit crazy-toons imho.

[@michellefoley8715]

Yes. Some kids need the narration. Moms know which ones need it and which ones dont.

[@someonerandom256]

I have sensory processing disorder and I know it affects my kids! It's tough. Thanks for the helpful video.

[@lauragantz6876]

I'm 17 year old and everything you said is sooo true. Do you have any advice for being less people anxious? Every day at school I start to shake, my pulse spies up, my breath becomes more frequent and less deep and sometimes I cry. I'm tired of it. Do you know how can I stop it? Thank you!

[@lauragantz6876]

Kira S thank you, but unfortunately I tried most of it and it didn't work.

[@rynday5080]

I'm 14 and a freshman in high school. I have anxiety and the only school that ever gone to kindergarten through 8th grade was a private school so there were less than 200 kids in the whole building. I guess this help with my anxiety but it made it a hundred times worse when I how to go to public high school for the start of freshman year. The first thing I would do is when walking through the halls I'd try to be aware of all the people who aren't noticing me at all. They are talking to friends, at their lockers, or looking at the ground. I also try to give myself some time for quite, so during my 7th period study hall I go and spend 5 minutes sitting in the bathroom stall. This may sound stupid, but I find it really helps me to give myself some time to do is my eyes, rest my head in my hands, and process everything that has happened so far that day. When I'm in a classroom I try to not look around and just focus on the work in front of me and what the teacher is saying. I also try to make eye contact with the teacher while she/he talks. I found this very challenging at first, but after a while it became easy and also helped me feel less anxious when I had to directly talk to the teacher especially when it was one on one. I also do these self-care challenges where I do one thing each day that I planned out at the beginning of the month and they're just simple things( i.e. listen to music, take a walk, have a cup of tea, yoga, declutter one shelf in your room, take a bath, do nothing) and I do one everyday. Another thing that helped me was to research anxiety, it's symptoms, different types, ways other people dealt with it, and how other people feel with their anxiety. I don't know why but for some reason this helped you feel that's alone which made me feel like I had more power over my anxiety. I hope some of these help, I have a lot more but I think I need to know more about how your anxiety affects you and what triggers it so I could give you more specific suggestions.

[@lauragantz6876]

Family Day thanks, I'll try some of them.

[@dragonstryk7280]

What about school is it, do you think, is making you anxious? People tend to dispense advice without having the full picture. School used to make me incredibly anxious, because I got bullied a lot, both physically and mentally/emotionally. School was battleground for me, and so I was automatically on high alert all the time, with every interaction with a student not my friend under immediate suspicion.

[@lauragantz6876]

Sean McTiernan yep, I'm a fat ballerina and I never had any time because of the amount of outside of school activities I wanted to take part in. I was bullied the whole primary school and at the same time my parents were getting divorced and my grandpa died. Since then I still feel anxious about what may people think about me. In the middle school I used to cut my wrists but stopped that thanks to few songs and tv shows and my own want to stop it. In the past year I had a few more family rough times and now I don't have time to bury myself in a book like I used to do in primary school when I was bullied.

[@annushkaml]

As a teacher (middle school math) and mother (grown, married son) I appreciate you addressing achievement. In today's world I see students anxious about grades. I tell my students that grades really don't mean much. Maybe it says a little about what you know on that given day, but it does not define who you are as a person. That learning and metacognition is more important than your grade. For those who struggle, I tell them that everyone learns at a different pace and although they struggle with the concept now that I day they will understand it. I tell my parents the same thing. Stop stressing out your kids.

[@tommeytommey2742]

Thanks for sharing, it helps to know I'm not alone. I so look forward to your videos!

[@wholoveskitty]

Love you. Just shared this with my daughter. She has three beautiful sons and is a phenomenal mom. She tries so hard for perfection. She Home schools and in my eyes, and her husband’s, just incredible. She also suffers terrible anxiety. It hurts me to see it and I feel bad that I probably instilled this in her. I want so much for her to be happy and realize how beautiful, how wonderful she is and that she is doing an amazing job raising those boys. ❤️

[@meloriemartinez1019]

I am a kid myself and I sometimes even struggle to get up in the morning worrying that my day is going so suck and I can sleep sometimes because I just feel so stressed worried about a quiz I’m going to have the next day feeling like I’m going to fail my father was never there and I sometimes can’t function because I feel like is he ever going to come back so Mayim I’d like to thank you for all you help

[@leilaquebaila]

Melorie Martinez I'm an adult now. As time goes by, you get to know yourself more and start being more secure about yourself. It gets better, I promise :)

[@jennilohrey7356]

Thank you for this video. I have so much anxiety since the birth of my daughter (18 months old). Anxiety about her weight, percentile, food she likes, food she hates, when she poops, when she sleeps, how much she breastfeeds, when she naps, how to raise her on a vegan diet (i am vegan myself), etc. So much pressure! Thank you for this video as a reminder to chill out and just be ok with your baby/toddler/child. Every child is unique and they can not all be the same. Its nice to know you have anxiety too, because no one every talks about it. Thanks.

[@suissanoa]

I've started to read about montessori education, beacause the school I want to send my daughter to. I think that this method is so special in a way where a kid can explore the world and really feel it, and learn how to face challenges, failure and also, to be more aware of his accomplishments instead of others. Worth to check out this educational method!

[@appleblossom5019]

Having two kids, both with Autism and high anxiety. Your words made perfect sense to me. Thank you!

[@dkamalay]

This video is so so so important. Thank you for this.

[@FetaTrauma]

Thanks so much for this. I suffer from severe anxiety, and I fear my anxiety is contributing to my 1 Year old's reluctance to go to sleep, and stay asleep on her own. I'll definitely take what you said on board, and focus on low anxiety around my daughter. You're incredible.

[@denise.lowery]

Hi Mayim, Love, love, love your candor and enthusiasm! Thank you. Happy New Year!

[@004smf]

Spot on!!! People really need to watch this and take notes! I have suffered with anxiety for many years and am a motyher now. This advice is totally spot on!

[@williamking9551]

I have anxiety and it's no fun.

[@kitkat1321]

William King Yeah. It’s horrible, isn’t it.

[@whalesong999]

It's coupled with having to perform under duress which might enter our lives very early on. I doubt many parents see this happening as it's likely been their "normal". The roots of it can be quite well rooted in time so stubborn to adjust.

[@pcaislinn]

All of this! I even find myself getting anxious about causing more anxiety for my kids, and myself. It's an uphill battle, to be sure. I feel better knowing it isn't just me. Thank you, Mayim.

[@loganh9530]

Mayim you are my hero!!!

[@lynnetanner6976]

I am so very glad I subscribed to your channel. I work with underprivileged children at a community school in Massachusetts and you are so on point about kids. Most of our community of children are not given the opportunity to just be kids, to play to have fun. For most it’s like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Thank you for your insight and words.

[@1HalfbloodPrince]

Parents, don't be a helicopter parent. When I think back to my childhood I can still hear my dad yelling be careful, don't do that, watch out, you might hurt yourself, wear a helmet, don't jump on that, don't do this, be careful because of that. Now every time I go to do anything theres a voice in my head always questioning everything. Should I do this, will that get me in trouble, I don't think I can do that, I don't want to say the wrong thing etc. Everything I do is controlled by this almost constant panic that I might be doing the wrong thing. Let kids make mistakes, let them learn by scraping a knee, falling down, let them fail at something so they learn its ok and to get right back up and try again. I don't blame my dad, but it definitely affected how I respond to everything.

[@Angel-hm9so]

1HalfbloodPrince my kids are now young adults but in their younger years the rule of thumb was if you're not broken bleeding or dying I don't need to know about it.

[@MelB868]

If there is a voice in your head you have scitophrenia

[@Nakia11798]

I have two modes and I think they’re based on my two parents. One is be careful, watch what you say, watch what you do, don’t look at that person to long, don’t talk to that person, don’t believe that person. The other mode is: fuck everyone’s opinions, fuck if I get hurt, I’ll stare at that person all I like, I’ll believe whatever I want Basically, one of my parents hovered around me and babied me my whole childhood while the other left me to my devices and called me a wimp when I let people hurt my feelings.

[@bunnymcbunnerson1334]

I just wanna say that most of our parents try their hardest, My mom was an anxious mess but she's a great mom. Thanks mom!

[@TheMindfulMillennial12]

I didn't know you had kids until today! 😊

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

MILES and FREDDIRICK.

[@MsTwissy]

The anxiety from food I got from my parents and the people around me growing up was a big factor in me developing an eating disorder and it’s been one of the hardest parts of my life. Thank you for making this video.

[@brittanywyatt3070]

you're a gift to this world. really. 👏❤

[@FRUITBATFASHIONHOUSE]

I dont want to be a mum like ever but i watch your videos to show and advise my mum and dad,they really don’t understand anxiety

[@foster9135]

very disturbing when your parents are always comparing you to other children, they compare your grades, achievements, jobs; it makes me want to give up

[@jasminemaidment1231]

I struggle with anxiety in many different forms and this was SO interesting to listen to, without wanting to sound as though i'm blaming my parents, i do have a very unhealthy relationship with food, i struggle to eat well, despite knowing it's importance. All I remember about meal time from when I was younger was being made to sit at the dinner table until I had finished my meal even when this was hours after my siblings had left the table, dessert was also always a treat for finishing dinner which was hard for me, and if i wasn't able to finish dinner I would only be allowed fruit or bread for the rest of the evening, even if i became hungry again. I also have only started to try new foods in the last 3/4 years and I am now 23, but i have spent a long time eating sweet foods that are unhealthy because it almost feeling rewarding to me. I'm glad that i've watched this and it has definitely given me things to think about for when I have children of my own.

[@yousraanwar8332]

This video is giving me anxiety as i realize how my parents raised me 😂

[@zsebastian8228]

I'm really glad I watched this, I've had horrible anxiety about my daughter eating enough since she was born. Very eye opening thank you

[@allencosta6638]

Notif squad! Happy new year!

[@chrisf8097]

Thank you for addressing this topic. I have had anxiety for a long time, but was officially diagnosed with it 7 years ago. I have been open about it and come to find out a lot of the people I have worked with have also dealt with it. When dealing with it initially it was unbelievably difficult. Flash forward it's beautiful to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and life after such a difficult experience.

[@jenmcconkey921]

Thank you!

[@tamraleone3012]

I have anxiety and depression. I have 3 wonderful adult children who I have just learned ALL deal with anxiety. Some of the ways they deal with it I am unsure of but they have to find their way that works for them. I have just gone through a cycle of guilt that I have done "this" to them! Its hard to have mom guilt but I am learning to deal with all of it. Thank you for throwing your thoughts and encouragement to us.

[@annapalacio3513]

Food linked to Anxiety is bad. Anorexia and Bulimia are out there as disorders linked to anxiety. You're either too fat or too skinny as people see themselves in life. People get so fixated on their weight dealing with food and anxiety as you have mentioned.

[@annapalacio3513]

Number five...fun! Yay you gotta have fun. Bowling, mini golf, laser tag, sports, camping, etc.

[@whalesong999]

Mayim - We do the best we can muster but the entire culture fosters anxiety. Been that way from the time I came into it during ww2 and it continues. It is deeply woven into our lives. Praise to you for bringing a conversation to the surface about it. The more people can see the prevalence of emotional and mental struggles, the more they will have strength to face their own. When I was young, denial was the biggest tool to avoid it but it caught up with me in later years.