MBMBaM - It's Not Hard to Poison Kids

From Episode 221 "Jareth Defence Tactics"
Listen to My Brother, My Brother and Me here: www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-br...

[@thrownstair]

“It’s not hard to poison kids.” - Justin McElroy, father of two

[@Jorb.]

This is such a good comment and it needs more attention.

[@Silverwind87]

He's also said "everything's flammable if you try hard enough" and "the man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one."

[@Trick.Sparrow]

Pros of being a kid: beautiful little lungs Cons of being a kid: vulnerable little livers

[@NoName-yz7dw]

A man's liver, a child's lung, and a tiger's chip off the block, the perfect man.

[@samuelrodriguez4374]

@@NoName-yz7dw dragon eyes, vorpal hand, tiger claw, beautius wings, and all the other things I didn’t mention before

[@NoName-yz7dw]

@@samuelrodriguez4374 surgar, spice, and everything nice, until one day an accident in the lab! CHEMICAL X and thus! The Powerpuff girls were born!!

[@jonpinyan]

Never before has a Yahoo been answered so accurately in the first two words: "Garbage can."

[@LeeaGalaxies]

I had neighbor that just gave kool-aid jammers and bags of chips as a walking snack.

[@momotech7648]

these are the best ones, no cap

[@aeugchad]

@@momotech7648 Those were always MVPs

[@gucketjug]

Kool aid jammers are the best off meta Halloween loot

[@Silverwind87]

Cool aid jammer sounds pretty rad

[@beebo-]

man. kids don’t want hummus

[@babeytea]

i strongly disagree. every waking moment of my life i crave hummus and only hummus.

[@ryanewald9740]

That dude must want everyone to egg his house or go to jail or both

[@xxselenaxx2142]

Dime bag of hummus

[@cosmic9511]

3:11 It's me, who had to be monitored around open containers of hummus after the age of two, as I'd do everything in my infant power to eat the whole thing before someone noticed

[@Fox_Olive]

Bruh, don’t nobody want no fucking HUMMUS for Halloween.

[@Jiemboh]

Cut up those green peppers, Mom!

[@ultimateninjaboi]

We had a dentist in my neighborhood growing up whod give out like, apples, or like, other non-candy snacks. But hed spend the beginning of October chatting with the neighborhood to get an idea of what kids might actually enjoy, cuz he knew not getting candy would be a bummer for kids. Never once got hummus. And i dont think giving hummus ever even crossed his mind

[@featherbird666]

ive only been trick or treating once in my life because halloween only really like, caught on in australia recently (p much my whole street does it now but im Adult) and my friends and I went over to the richer neighbourhood near us and ended up at this house which like nobody knocked at because it had a wall around it and was hard to reach and the old couple there had made lil bags to give out which had (if i recall correctly) small bags of chocolate coins, one of those fun-sized carmens granola bars, and a tiny tub of play-dough. I hope they're doing well.

[@brody2k]

We were the only house in our whole bloody town that decorate for Halloween. The one time I went trick or treating some bitch yelled at me and my sister for "coming too late" - mate, it's fuckin 3:30 in the afternoon. Idk why it didn't catch on here.

[@Tulip_bip]

What a wholesome story

[@nicestpancake]

@@brody2k Y'all do understand it's something you're supposed to to at sundown, right? Like- that's when trick-or-treating takes place. During sundown and after night has fallen.

[@Anafyral666]

@@nicestpancake so 3:30PM is nowhere near too late? I don't know what time the sun comes down in American October but if it's before 3PM that feels antarctican to me

[@nicestpancake]

@@Anafyral666 the sun goes down around 7pm, they're too _early_ like- jesus no wonder they didn't get any candy. I'd be pretty upset if a bunch of kids showed up at my porch in the middle of the day asking for candy, regardless of holiday.

[@court_of_thecrimson_kingfi4984]

One time when I was a kid I ate an entire AA battery.

[@DreamPainter54]

That is awful but I gotta be honest. The idea of you eating half of one feels worse somehow

[@user-dx1es9ty9o]

god bless our troops

[@mollytaylor8122]

My friend had a neighbor who would give us a gross oatmeal raisin cookie, a long, printed-out passage from the Bible, and a plastic cross. We'd always go back every year, hoping that she'd eventually come to her senses and realize that all of us sinners were too late for salvation and just wanted some damn Tootsie Pops. Sadly, that never happened.

[@miss_baphomet]

hang on, you got crosses and oatmeal cookies and you kept trick or treating there? why?

[@lionguardant5468]

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result

[@mollytaylor8122]

Yall stop calling me out in the comments 🤣 jk ily

[@basementdwellercosplay]

That one reply of"put your address on it" just wants hummus dude to get arrested easier

[@noahatlas5240]

Here after Amnesty ep 30 , and WHEW. The juxtaposition between the tone and style of mbmbam and taz is. Wild

[@justyourfriendlyneighbourh860]

Thank you for reminding me that I still need to listen to that new episode! And that is one of the truest statements I have ever heard

[@comedyallkindsembrace4521]

The first Series of TAZ was way more light-hearted and funny.

[@justyourfriendlyneighbourh860]

@@comedyallkindsembrace4521 theres bits that are light hearted and funny though. And especially the live shows. Those are of course more comical and not as story driven.

[@WildWaver]

amnesty has THIRTY EPISODES?! I got distracted and stopped listening about 16 (but I wanna go back and catch up!)

[@firstnamelastname5436]

taz: and you just see the stars above you, and they are... beautiful. and they're gone. mbmbam: GROSS BAG OF HUMMUS???

[@meatlemonade9938]

the phrase "dime bag of hummus" is just... somethin else

[@clairesharpe4686]

My dad checked my candy every year and every year I would get a fruit, he would throw it away.

[@kylebrown736]

He'd throw away all your candy for just one fruit!?

[@candiedcrusader7841]

Is your dad in the criminal justice system? A lot of kids are poisoned by produce on Halloween, since they'll take a bite of the apple and toss it, still getting poisoned and dropping the murder weapon somewhere to be forgotten and rotten, possibly not making it home, or just getting very sick or even put on death's door

[@Hambonehoven]

Candied Crusader “a lot” of kids poisoned by halloween produce? Wtf are you talking about.

[@risipieces]

@@candiedcrusader7841 literally give me one source of a child getting purposely poisoned from halloween candy

[@krell.1415]

@@kylebrown736 no like, just the fruit

[@thefowl5068]

My mom bought a mix of candy and chips (small cheese it bags) to give out to trick or treaters. I tried to give as many kids a mix of the ring pops, candy and cheese its before having to give out only cheese its. I was so embarrassed to give out such a lame not candy, as we had discussed being the cool house that gives out good things earlier. I gave the last trick or treater the rest of the chips (plus one ring pop) to get the cursed things out of the house. The kid, which had to be 5-7, shouted back to his parents: "this person gave me a ton of chips!!!!" Which is hilarious, because we had been bickering back and forth about whether cheese its were considered chips or crackers, with the real problem being handing them out in the first place. The true monster that night? My mom, for doing that to those poor poor kids.

[@AnnabellaRedwood]

That's pure gold!

[@Silverwind87]

Maybe if it were Cheetos or Pringles, the kids would've been psyched to get chips. But not the hot variety, their tiny stomachs can't handle it.

[@minosnails1894]

This one time some people were giving out coffee and/or alcohol to the parents.

[@minosnails1894]

Oh yeah and then there's always like two or three families that give out Christianity pamphlets.

[@cg1906]

@@Sky-mh1vh right? God free alcohol is the best kind. That's why I go to bars i quickly drain my beer before paying then dash through the big glass window. 17 stitches earned? More like 17 dollars saved amirite?

[@AnnabellaRedwood]

@@minosnails1894 cuz that's what you want. Lol

[@abbywolffe4114]

@@minosnails1894 Or do both, throw back a nice cold one for the Lord

[@genericname8727]

In Australia Halloween wasn’t really celebrated here. Then it started to gain a bit more popularity and we’d get a couple of trick or treaters. One year we seemed to get about 50, which was so unexpectedly high, and so we stocked up for the next year. Only to have nobody trick or treating the following year lol (the former year was probably something some classes at the local school organised between parents and just didn’t do again). But I remember one time we got trick or treaters we didn’t have much to give (perhaps this was the time we had so many come since we ran out of chocolates). We told the kids to hang on while we searched for some chocolates or something and we had nothing, so we gave them some change, and they were so much more excited to get the money lol. I remember they basically ran off to their friends and parents excitedly saying “I got money” and showing it off lol.

[@Clove69]

My mom would only hand out pretzels 😔

[@dontcryzanzibar]

I LOVE YOUR MOM I don't know, maybe I was a salt kid or something, but the pretzels were my favorite

[@Clove69]

Don't Cry Zanzibar I’m gonna tell her and ur gonna make her day

[@mayatunes]

Jayna Hill Pretzels are nice because of you get a Hershey’s solid chocolate bar and combine the two. I live in the desert, melted chocolate was inevitable, pretzels were salvation

[@leaffinite3828]

That Freaks and Geeks episode is really sad, tho. I remember as a kid it made me wanna cry

[@sepiasmith5065]

my parents always checked my candy lol. we were left with plenty though lol

[@Monkeybean29]

Tbh I would love getting a tiny hummus on Halloween hummus is so good

[@calebduarte5255]

Right, but just because you have a hummus fetish doesn’t mean this country’s young generation deserves that chickpea slop on the holiest of the high holy days.

[@wdfinbllngsly]

only if they give pita chips with it

[@mothman5394]

me readin the title: no theys got a point

[@grumplestomp8701]

Drew Davenport? Interesting name...

[@krell.1415]

The name and address it to add the credibility that if it was poison, you knew who to John Wick the next year (jk just call the cops and alert the area) But yeah, there's a place in my area that does that with their home-made candy apples because they want to. Have some cred about it by now.

[@octodaddy1602]

Justin "it's not hard to poison kids" McElroy

[@mariannacross2538]

at people who gave out apples: do better!

[@orlandotheg1923]

Walter White agrees

[@profsoul5224]

D...Davenport?

[@dottyContrarian]

the mcelroy brothers would throw coins into the TRASH?? because they didn't want them??

[@inkatz]

Damn ppl are allowed to eat their Halloween candy?

[@heizo4296]

Hewwo

[@zacharywood9416]

Heiz O get out 👉🏼

[@legoduckie]

H-Hewwo uwu?