Meanwhile... J.Lo's Booty Balm | Stephen Samples The Veltini

Meanwhile... We know where Jennifer Lopez got the idea for her nude birthday photo shoot, and Stephen bravely takes a sip of Velveeta's unforgivable spin on the dirty martini. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@AbWischBar]

"You know what ..." dramatic pause ".... Huwww" 🤣🤣 That had me on the floor

[@rosetownstumpcity]

same , lol

[@autumbreeze1129]

Same. And I saw it after reading your comment, yet, despite knowing it was coming, I still laugh hard 😆

[@Omni0404]

That dramatic pause was holding back the chunks

[@rosy111]

omg same 🤣

[@Opine_Divine]

Its pronounced, "huhrrulh"

[@jeffhogue36]

Nobody throws up in their mouth funnier than Mr. Colbert. 💛

[@maggiecunningham8952]

‘Waiters who are nauseated by food’ energy

[@dinoballz]

@@maggiecunningham8952 So happy there are other people who remember tidbits like that.

[@nbuehster]

I always look forward to that whoever he talks about something disgusting. I want to know if it's always scripted, or if there were cases where it wasn't, and he was actually about to throw up.

[@cklindo4646]

I literally thought the same yesterday while washing the dishes and looking out my window.

[@minxiv7]

Sending love and prayers to Jon, his wife and their family ❤️

[@heyheytaytay]

The close up JUST before Stephen takes that drink is so funny. We all knew it was going to taste ghastly.

[@jakehix8132]

that "You know..." before I honestly think was gonna be a "not the worst thing ive tasted" .... but then the after taste hit.

[@nbuehster]

Did he actually drink it, or just put it up to his face, like he was going to drink it?

[@saiyasha848]

you can see the moment where he thinks "Why on earth did I think this was a good Idea?"

[@newhorizonsforfifty2833]

If "questioning your life choices" was a person...

[@cathywethington5913]

Funny. Cobert's reaction to tasting the veltini was the same as mine listening to him describe it

[@darenstroud6254]

I can't believe he brought up old guys blow drying their balls at the gym. I had finally gotten the traumatic and horrific experiences of seeing that happen way back in 2008. Not only was he using the gyms blow dryer to bry his balls. He continued to alternate placing each leg up on the counter right next to the sink. I have not been back to a gym since. And now thanks to Stephen, that terrible image is back in my head. The Nightmares are going to start all over again. THANKS!

[@Dharmarenee]

😵

[@billyshithead3139]

Maybe it was his only opportunity to get blown?

[@odoylerules4503]

same type of degenerate that takes their shoes off on planes

[@ayejay5603]

'I have not been back to the gym since.' Lol

[@blackeyedsusan727]

I belly laughed and now I have something to laugh about forever. Definitely beats the naked old ladies in the women's locker room!

[@bonatoc]

That was hilarious. I can't get enough of Stephen's "I'm gonna puke"

[@cosmicraysshotsintothelight]

It is so 'good' it almost sets off mine.

[@ryanbauer3680]

h-uULp!

[@alumpyhorse]

then you have got to go see the clips from the daily show back in the day when Stephen was getting started, a segment called ‘waiters who are nauseated by food’ - with the two Steve’s (Carell

[@cosmicraysshotsintothelight]

@@Balletified Now I have to try to clear that image again. Thanks. 🤮

[@newhorizonsforfifty2833]

Or how about the couple seconds before the sip, when it looked like he was questioning every bad life choice he ever made?

[@merlapittman5034]

His reaction to the Veltini is exactly the way I imagine the drink tastes. I heard about it before and my immediate reaction was "Oh, HELL, no!!!" Stephen's reaction assures me that I was not wrong. 😆😆😆

[@blackrevelproductions]

yup just the noise was the perfect "review"

[@unvergebeneid]

"A Cry for Help" is a pretty great name for a cocktail though ngl

[@KristiContemplates]

It's called the "Bar mat" or the "Bartender's Rag". Basically you get either the Bar mat, or the bar tender's towel, and wring it into a glass.

[@unvergebeneid]

@@KristiContemplates 🤢🤮

[@daemenoth]

@@KristiContemplates when i bartended we used to not only give them free but you could get another non premium shot for free if you drank it lol

[@siwi666]

Sometimes Stephen makes me belly laugh so hard

[@mya200014]

his reaction to drinking the veltini was priceless

[@Beegrene]

Honestly, painting miniatures together sounds like kind of a nice first date.

[@Zuraneve]

I met my partner at a D&D game. While painting minis wasn't our first date, we have had mini painting dates! And he plays Warhammer. His comment on seeing this video? "I'm in this picture and I don't like it!"

[@crisfield4364]

Thank you Stephen for tasting one for the team. You've demonstrated that the Velvetini is as bad as I imagined.

[@temporaladvisor3958]

Stephen's review of the Veltini was exactly what I thought it should be. Heck, I was gagging at the thought alone.

[@The_Real_Mier]

Wishing Jon and all his loved ones the very best! Love from the Netherlands ♥️

[@abhinavbharadwaj4629]

Stephan finally gets to taste a meanwhile intro 😂

[@TBJ1118]

🤣 underrated comment

[@shazayum3757]

I'm going to be laughing at this comment for the rest of the day

[@JustMeMLG]

But sometimes folks, just sometimes, I like to take a perfectly acceptable drink and infuse it with last night's mac&cheese inspired nightmare... Blehech! 🍸

[@Wimikk]

I was actually thinking, “Oh sure, classic first date idea to paint minis.” Then I choked on my water. Thanks, Steve.

[@henrygvidonas9573]

Someone actually made a cocktail version of Patton Oswalt's "failure pile in a sadness bowl". Unbelievable! The only thing that's missing are little bits of bacon floating in it...

[@FutureCommentary1]

First time I've seen Stephen Colbert hesitate to have a drink or some food.

[@SFLiminality]

I feel like I vaguely remember him having Kraft mac and cheese ice cream as well, but maybe he just brought it up in a meanwhile sketch.

[@generalnawaki]

man I had to look up what velveeta is, I would have thrown up 100%

[@akinpaws]

Waaaay back, he and Steve Carell had a bit called "waiters nauseated by food". I recommend finding some old clips, and I think they performed some of it again when Carell was a guest on the Late Show.

[@SuperMassman]

You killed me with the popup TV next to the pool 😆😂😅🤣

[@Adyen11234]

Stephen has bigger balls than I do, cause I would not be able to take even a sip of that monstrosity.

[@b1acksteve]

Sounds like Stephen's body is gonna make him pay for that sip

[@ZagreusX]

Ya beat me to it!

[@bfkc111]

Seeing statements like that seems to me they are living in an alternate reality where even something as demanding as waking up early for school simply doesn't exist.

[@Adyen11234]

@@bfkc111 soooo... I guess that means you'd drink it?

[@bfkc111]

@@Adyen11234 I wouldn't make much of a fuss about giving it a shot, let alone for "comedy", or I would just say no in the moment but not make a public petition against it or point out his drinking it at all as the only thing here. It's still standard food stuff, it's not like it's some innards or cow spit. Or primarily: I wouldn't actually call it "brave".

[@Godric_71]

Stephen's lead up to the segment is HIGHLY underrated.

[@ievolcisum]

Lmao I truly think he was going to say "not that bad" before he literally threw up in his mouth

[@serendipityshopnyc]

I love Colbert's hairball noise. Every. Single. Time.

[@nbuehster]

I always look forward to that whoever he talks about something disgusting. I want to know if it's always scripted, or if there were cases where it wasn't, and he was actually about to throw up.

[@snchzls]

I stay up late every night just to watch this video.

[@thetvbaby83]

I watch it as soon as I can at work on the assembly line, 5:30 am.

[@Charlie-phlezk]

I'm sorry

[@henrikelanschuetzer4261]

Why don't You watch it next day on KZbin

[@rosy111]

@@henrikelanschuetzer4261 impatience

[@sheenahope3586]

I just audibly screamed NO! at the top of my lungs at the Veltini image and gagged loudly at the "cheese infused vodka" bit. I have headphones on and am sitting on my back porch. I wonder what my neighbors are thinking just happened LMAO 😂🤣

[@WingcommanderIV]

And yet it somehow managed to look even MORE gross in real life.

[@emberhusky6878]

Lol ! The lil gag at the end just lol. He was only saying what we all felt when he said cheese Martini .

[@aick]

Stephen stanning St Vincent is the perfect encapsulation of why I love his work as much as I do. Colbert is low-key ALWAYS helping out other artists and shining the spotlight on the true greats. Say what you will, he's got impeccable taste.

[@jennifer801]

😂😂 yeah that’s exactly how I imagined that drink would taste.

[@cheeseonyomama]

"this affront to God" was snuck in there 🤣

[@cindygentry6821]

John your a good man and I hope your wife gets better real soon

[@OrtexofWill]

That is the most genuine reaction to a drink that screams, "we think we're cheetoos!"

[@karacool69]

Bless you Stephen!! Standing by the Everyman! I love you!!! ♥️

[@plotshift]

Can't stop Meanwhile. They know it's coming. They can't stop it.

[@jasonjimerson7046]

Game over, man... game over!

[@vinny142]

They seem to not even try...

[@SHMPhotography97]

After years of satirically hocking bud light lime on his last gig, I feel the veltini is a little bit of potable karma 😂😂

[@JeffHanke]

"Potable" used loosely in this case, of course. 🤣

[@bonatoc]

Potent Potable indeed!

[@jeffl.9633]

@@JeffHanke Very loosely. So loosely that it's still trying to live-down the reputation it earned in high school.

[@lizardog]

I'm going to be THAT person and gently remind you that "hawking" is synonymous with "pitching" a product. "Hocking" is with you do with a fat "loogy" aka phlegm glob. Sorry, I know it's just the comment section, but... the more you know.

[@helengournay2377]

I read “potato”. Potato karma…is potato?

[@NickRoman]

When that Veltini description came up, I was thinking, hey, he already did his intro monologue.

[@High_Alpha]

Normally I'm right over there, crafting together the best gin money can buy and the finest dry vermouth with a lemon twist and an olive into the best martini you've ever had that is my nightly monologue. But sometimes folks, just sometimes, I get vodka that's been contaminated with Velveeta, some left over olive brine and vermouth pour it all into a cheese-rimmed martini glass I got out of a dumpster adding a cocktail pick of Velveeta-stuffed olives and Jumbo Velveeta Shells & Cheese to make the stomach churning "oh God why?" drink of doom that is my segment...

[@lindahendricks9965]

This is one of the best Meanwhiles ever.

[@MaryAnnNytowl]

Really great to be able to actually grin, even smile, at something. Stephen, you and your writers do that for me, and I thank you so much for that... for part of it. But I had to pause it and skip ahead over one bit. The "given up on this marriage" bit, though, was so painful, I broke out into tears. My soon-to-be ex did that to me (minus the NFL, plus the divorce papers) at 38½ years of marriage, and it's been 21 months (and 16 days, but who's counting?) since he abandoned me out of the blue, but I still cry every damned day.

[@joshuahutchings558]

Oh no I'm sorry that happened.

[@jwilk5606]

5:56 Colbert's face says it all. What the neck I'm doing lol

[@Artista_Frustrado]

this is the one time Steven would have accepted his booze being fake LMAO

[@Doopes]

The revolution joke was on point 😂

[@davidlundquist1979]

Well, I've never heard a single, incoherent noise so effectively sum up an entire concept before. Unless we count "D'oh!" I suppose...

[@whaleymom76]

As to the Mac & cheese martini, I have never been that pregnant. And I have lots of children.

[@cathyemberson8402]

Thanks for the update. I was wondering. Best wishes to Jon and family.

[@SnafuOrganization]

We’ll be right back, and so will that sip

[@janemariesinger6779]

sending you much love Jon and family...you are my shining star...i miss you and understand

[@eyhip2]

everyone missed "this affront to God..." 😂😂

[@jojoba11]

I loved the part about when the Revolution comes haha

[@rayceeya8659]

OK the boat thing is legit. Back when I was in college, it liver in an 87' Dodge Colt, I showered in the gym and passed a full year's worth of organic chemistry. Gotta love compressed summer courses. I literally spent 4hr a day in lecture. Banged out a year of O-chem in a little over three months. Spent the rest of my day sleeping wherever. Used to carry a wrist watch around with an alarm. I can't wear it on my wrist because of a nickel allergy. Me an Tommy (the wrist watch) made it anyway.

[@thisbushnell2012]

the first three years of our pizza business, we slept in the empty segment of the building that held our shop, and showered at the Y's pool facility.

[@onetrick.pony1]

The Veltini description sounded like a Meanwhile intro ;)

[@thisbushnell2012]

I have no doubt the veltini tastes exactly as I would expect.

[@90evilideas]

6:03 I love it. You know he has a joke lined up, but he knows it couldn't overshadow that spontaneous velveeta burp, so he just cuts to commercial. That's a pro for you. 😆

[@hereticpariah6_66]

2:25 _AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHH!!!!_ I'M *BLIND!!!!* should Really consider warning us a few seconds before!!

[@phaikia13]

Reading the ingredients of the martini was bad enough, but actually drinking it... oh no...

[@JohnDoe662002]

The fact that Steve said "Painting Warcraft miniatures" let's me know that D&D, Warmachine, and Warhammer were not willing to pony up money for a joke advert. Although .... painting can be a nice activity to bond with a prospective partner. Sharing knowledge of a hobby, discussing favorite colors/palettes/patterns, and displaying different painting techniques. And when you finish you have a nice little memento of the date. Recommend sticking to simple minis that don't have a lot of different textures (animals, skeletons, etc). Now if only I could meet a woman that would help me build d&d dungeon tiles ...

[@derekstein6193]

"Now if only I could meet a woman that would help me build d&d dungeon tiles..." You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

[@neerajamb]

The shot against a million dollar TV wall painted a Monet!! 😄

[@a_bad_nickname]

The sound of him holding that monstrosity down is too good

[@Liamnesque]

The revolution joke😂😂 so funny cos it’s so true

[@LaMortDeLaMusique]

Even Stephen knows the revolution is coming

[@henrygalliher6574]

2:25. I'm really sorry you all had to see that.

[@valeriesuttonpayne7413]

Oh I didn’t know she was ill again. They are such a beautiful couple.

[@jamesgoines7663]

I'm going with J-Lo's version! That whole sequence with the 'tini' is my approach to NyQuil!

[@cindygentry6821]

Stephen colbert ROCKS!! Watch him every nite

[@scapegoatiscariot2767]

This is the best show on television.

[@jeffdaniels7195]

I love the fact that he is willing to try congruent anything that they play in front of but his reaction is amazing

[@MxJanusu]

Steven, nobody paints Warcraft figurines. War HAMMER, Steven. WARHAMMER.

[@lazyperfectionist1]

5:58 😄 Oh, Stephen, the things you do for this _job._ 😄

[@ileaird]

Mad respect To trying that Velvetola 😂, we shall be right back… with a glass of water please 😂😂😂

[@MrHodoAstartes]

Don't knock hobby dates. I attended the wedding of a couple who met over a game of Pathfinder.

[@StevenTorrey]

Veltini--It is as bad as it sounds!

[@courtney5796]

Next to Choco Taco playing Raft, this is my favorite. edit: If I am renting a boat for $600 a month to live in. I am "showering" port side.

[@nbuehster]

6:08 I was waiting for that. LMFAO Did he actually drink it, or just put it up to his face, like he was going to drink it?

[@The_Real_Mier]

Gave my ‘like’ for this video at exactly (2:26) !! Now it’s inevitable that LSSC’s management MUST give a HUGE bonus to the graphics department for this fascinating masterpiece! Also: I hereby advocate the following for this one-of-a-kind collector's item: A) to be made a NFT (which WITHOUT ANY DOUBT will be of unimaginable value!) and B) to be given the subtitle: “Please Help, I don’t WANT to look anymore, but I just CANNOT STOP staring!”

[@muhammadabdel1201]

5:15 Whoever cheered needs to be arrested RIGHT NOW. lol

[@joesdi]

Carell, where are you? 🤣

[@eric2500]

The best part of Meanwhile is the intro!

[@anneplowman9034]

5:55- I've never clicked off of a video so fast. 🤣

[@WormholeJim]

That drink just needs a spoonful of fermented herring squeezed in there to add a little whiff of that gentle, fresh sea breeze to lift the whole experience. Not too much, though, it'll just overpower the mac n' cheese tangents rather than framing them.

[@stillhere1425]

👌🏻

[@Lucius1958]

Opus begs to differ: mac 'n' cheese just spoils a good Herringtini...🐧

[@vmwindustries]

People can't clap at someone that has worked hard to have a very healthy body! WTF is happening to the world. Healthy is something we should all strive for and appreciate! Good for Jennifer, and her hard work!

[@stillhere1425]

I believe that was a real “holding back losing lunch.”

[@phasm42]

"Shower at a nearby gym" - ha, I did that when I was young and poor and living at my job 😅

[@TaniaTalksChaos]

The Veltini consumption made me hoot.

[@bruceluber5178]

Sipping that martini took guts and we almost saw them

[@DaveLugo79]

To be fair you have to be some kind of maniac to paint those figurines while intoxicated

[@Zeluth]

I love that this show is true.

[@jamespinto1884]

Short meanwhiles are the best! 😍

[@rgnestle]

The whole thing came together with, "Hurooop!"

[@justhearmeout3959]

Stephen: Most economical way to tell your spouse you've given up- Me: Baby you're gonna love this, NFL is streaming now!

[@mattyoder6498]

BEST FUCKING MEANWHILE EVER! THE VELTINI BIT WAS 😂😂😂.. 💀

[@Alresu]

You know your drink's a bad idea when Stephen Colbert hesitates to drink it.

[@Lulzswag]

Who in the hell came up with that sales pitch thinking it was good? "Hey guys, let's put Velveeta cheese in an alcoholic drink and also some pasta." da fuq?

[@MikayelMcGee]

Meanwhile always breaks new ground.

[@daledarling11]

That million dollar tv line made me spit take my morning coffee - thanks Stephen!

[@UncleJimmi_ID]

That was the best joke I've heard in a while

[@Lucius1958]

Probably bought by a Sirius Cybernetics executive (see Douglas Adams)...

[@Qroxta]

"You know what.... hurghk"

[@aidenbagshaw5573]

“You know what?…” … “Hyeughh!”

[@kenziehill9376]

great meanwhile intro 😂😂😂

[@randallbrown1470]

Veltini??? I believe it would be best called the Vomit Comet!!!

[@HeatherVT8]

Not me going on first date today for coffee 😆

[@LALew850]

I felt that blech! Yuuuuck veltini hurl!

[@cab5917]

Sometimes there are just NO WORDS! Burp.

[@jimnasium452]

A cheese drip usually requires a penicillin shot. Clears right up.

[@Shicksalblume]

The Veltini makes me glad I quit drinking. Even with my love of the weirdest things I can find, I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot barge pole even before I quit.